Respect goes both ways, though. Women want to be respected too. If they ask their husbands to help them with something, and the men nod and/or say they will but then they won’t or ignore their wifes, women feel disrespected and disappointed. That is why nagging starts. Nagging would not feel necessary at all if men would man the hell up sometimes.
I think it’s laudable that someone who wants their spouse to step up, thinks it’s appropriate to ask, “What can I do better myself, to help bring about the change I want to see?” People railing against masculine or feminine ideals should probably ask themselves why they reflexively recoil at someone wanting to be a more ideal spouse.
I’m over the nagging narrative too. I’m a really straightforward woman. I can’t tell you the times I’ve said “hey babe, can you…” and it simply doesn’t get done. Respect can be lost. Let’s have a conversation about building back respect.
@@VinceMaggieNess I’m the same way. That’s the thing men love to talk about when it comes to women. It’s as if men are so weak that they have to be talked to perfectly to do whatever they are asked or whatever situation this applies. I don’t nag my husband about anything. I’m just tired of the “women need to do this or that or be this or be that”. It’s implied that nagging is not only the worst thing we can do, but also something we just can’t help ourselves but do constantly.
The book "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs is all about this - addressing both men and women. It is life changing and marriage saving! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
@@sanditabaj6214 thank you for this resource. I respect my husband immensely and treat him as such. But everyone could be a little bit better than they are now.
@@BattleSword I’m a woman. I read a book on this topic and realized the respect men desire is different than the respect women desire. For men the respect they crave has a heavy emphasis on admiration, esp. for their masculinity, for providing, as well as obedience, seeing him as your guide/ your head/ someone you look up to, and so on.
@@BattleSword the psychological component is important. If they make you feel like you are worthless; it is demoralizing, and makes a man sad. Nothing is good enough, always in debt due to the wife's credit card 💳. Sadly I'm divorced, and married in the Church like a dummy. God bless 🙏🏼
Now do men. What do women do when they have tried everything? Nagging is usually a consequence after a woman has tried to ask, calmly talk, try to communicate, etc.. It seems there are always videos in what women should do, but never in what husbands should do. It gets old.
The book "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs is all about this - addressing both men and women. It is life changing and marriage saving! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Our Parish did a study on this with both the men's and women's groups while at the same time grounding the chapters in the Catechism and Theology of the Body.
The greatest challenge is for one of the two to take the first step to "get off the crazy wheel"! It can't be "I'll start respecting him when I feel that he loves me", or "I'll start loving her when I feel respected". It's "I will do this because God commands me to" (and He knows best!).
My daily prayer for our marriage: Marriage prayer: Lord, I humbly come before You and ask for Your loving hand upon our marriage. Grant us strength to be gracious and kind, to have hearts to listen and forgive, and to honor each other’s beautiful role in our union. Help us show each other love, even when it is trying or difficult. Give us a fresh set of eyes to see each other the way You do, as beloved and priceless. Please reignite the passion in our marriage and allow us to find that level of love again that reminds us that we are truly one flesh and that our marriage is such a sweet and precious gift from You, Lord. I ask this in Your holy name. Amen
What about this: My wife has been nagging me and not being super kind but besides that I still try and do better, to rise up to the challenge and be more christlike. Am I reinforcing the behavior or am I acting in the pattern of christ?
You sound like a good man and husband. To fight back and bicker /grumble especially in front of the kids doesn't help. From time to time I make a point in my defense or stick up for myself. We all naturally have the desire to defend ourselves as is human nature, especially for justice sake, but it goes best when I say no more, not a thing added and let my words able to resonate. They will be less powerful and even lost if I get "hooked" into saying more and it goes back and forth and becomes an argument. Stay the course Brother! Peace in Christ
@jimjustjim976 Thank you, I appreciate that very much. Of course I am also a wretched sinner and no paragon of perfect behavior but striving every day to follow the pattern our father left for us. Stay the course out there!
These kinds of conversations are getting so old. I absolutely love this channel and will not ever stop watching it. It’s just exhausting. “Women, figure out the perfect way to talk to your husband so he doesn’t think you’re nagging him. Be perfectly traditional and feminine. Be this. Be that. This is what men want.” Ok… cool. Glad to hear yet another reason why most women can’t just be human beings and be themselves.
It's just rhetoric. The question more broadly is "how do I convince someone to behave differently than they're currently behaving." That question can be framed in terms of leading them to virtue, or any other direction, but it's ultimately all a question of rhetoric. And rhetoric is fundamental to our interactions with other people, including and especially in the life of follower of Christ. Being "human beings" and I suppose being "themselves" simply means accepting that sometimes we won't be good at how we interact with other people, but that doesn't make the question of "how do I do this better?" an unimportant one. And it's possible there's an overemphasis on women, but we do it with all kinds of subjects. And the reality is that, in married life, a pivotal part of the sacrament is leading our spouses to heaven. So one of the most important questions you can ask is "how can I effectively communicate with my spouse in a way that will help lead them to Christ?" I'm not sure we should ever diminish the value of asking that question.
I see your point and I raise you to see this video from above the titles and views and comments. Be above it all. What is fundamentally going on here? A woman wants to encourage her husband more but she can sense he feels nagged. She wants to know how to overcome that so their marriage is stronger. Do you still find this to be "old" now?
@@stevenlester985 I don’t disagree with you here at all. It’s just frustrating to see this video after video. As if women weren’t made by God as completely different individuals. It seems like most videos I see this day talking about women is either hyper pro feminist and anti men or hyper feminine and be who a man wants you to be.
Now do men. What do women do when they have tried everything? Nagging is usually a consequence after a woman has tried to ask, calmly talk, try to communicate, etc.. It seems there are always videos in what women should do, but never in what husbands should do. It gets old.
Respect goes both ways, though. Women want to be respected too. If they ask their husbands to help them with something, and the men nod and/or say they will but then they won’t or ignore their wifes, women feel disrespected and disappointed. That is why nagging starts. Nagging would not feel necessary at all if men would man the hell up sometimes.
I think it’s laudable that someone who wants their spouse to step up, thinks it’s appropriate to ask, “What can I do better myself, to help bring about the change I want to see?”
People railing against masculine or feminine ideals should probably ask themselves why they reflexively recoil at someone wanting to be a more ideal spouse.
Laura Doyle says to ask in a way that inspires and lets him be the hero. She has the best advice for wives.
The best advice for wives is to get a pre nup.
I’m over the nagging narrative too. I’m a really straightforward woman. I can’t tell you the times I’ve said “hey babe, can you…” and it simply doesn’t get done.
Respect can be lost. Let’s have a conversation about building back respect.
@@VinceMaggieNess I’m the same way. That’s the thing men love to talk about when it comes to women. It’s as if men are so weak that they have to be talked to perfectly to do whatever they are asked or whatever situation this applies. I don’t nag my husband about anything. I’m just tired of the “women need to do this or that or be this or be that”. It’s implied that nagging is not only the worst thing we can do, but also something we just can’t help ourselves but do constantly.
The book "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs is all about this - addressing both men and women. It is life changing and marriage saving! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
@@sanditabaj6214 thank you for this resource. I respect my husband immensely and treat him as such. But everyone could be a little bit better than they are now.
@@sidneybuckaloowell
You do.
Men need to step up and be Fathful and loving Fathers to their Wife and Children ! ❤
A woman’s root need is also respect. It’s the same as a man’s.
@@BattleSword I’m a woman. I read a book on this topic and realized the respect men desire is different than the respect women desire. For men the respect they crave has a heavy emphasis on admiration, esp. for their masculinity, for providing, as well as obedience, seeing him as your guide/ your head/ someone you look up to, and so on.
@@user-mf9yl2pf3vI also need admiration, not for my clothes or my beauty. I need to hear that my opinion matters.
I like to be like a Sub some days. Just not into the pain or insults. But I will follow all orders. It provides structural and sensual.b😂
Nagging is why I stayed single
@@BattleSword the psychological component is important. If they make you feel like you are worthless; it is demoralizing, and makes a man sad. Nothing is good enough, always in debt due to the wife's credit card 💳. Sadly I'm divorced, and married in the Church like a dummy. God bless 🙏🏼
Now do men. What do women do when they have tried everything? Nagging is usually a consequence after a woman has tried to ask, calmly talk, try to communicate, etc.. It seems there are always videos in what women should do, but never in what husbands should do. It gets old.
The book "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs is all about this - addressing both men and women. It is life changing and marriage saving! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Our Parish did a study on this with both the men's and women's groups while at the same time grounding the chapters in the Catechism and Theology of the Body.
The greatest challenge is for one of the two to take the first step to "get off the crazy wheel"! It can't be "I'll start respecting him when I feel that he loves me", or "I'll start loving her when I feel respected". It's "I will do this because God commands me to" (and He knows best!).
Wow! It is awesome that your parish did that and rooted it in TOB! That's so cool!
My daily prayer for our marriage:
Marriage prayer:
Lord, I humbly come before You and ask for Your loving hand upon our marriage. Grant us strength to be gracious and kind, to have hearts to listen and forgive, and to honor each other’s beautiful role in our union. Help us show each other love, even when it is trying or difficult. Give us a fresh set of eyes to see each other the way You do, as beloved and priceless. Please reignite the passion in our marriage and allow us to find that level of love again that reminds us that we are truly one flesh and that our marriage is such a sweet and precious gift from You, Lord. I ask this in Your holy name. Amen
I can't understand love without respect ever, not just in marriage.
What about this: My wife has been nagging me and not being super kind but besides that I still try and do better, to rise up to the challenge and be more christlike. Am I reinforcing the behavior or am I acting in the pattern of christ?
You sound like a good man and husband. To fight back and bicker /grumble especially in front of the kids doesn't help. From time to time I make a point in my defense or stick up for myself. We all naturally have the desire to defend ourselves as is human nature, especially for justice sake, but it goes best when I say no more, not a thing added and let my words able to resonate. They will be less powerful and even lost if I get "hooked" into saying more and it goes back and forth and becomes an argument. Stay the course Brother! Peace in Christ
@jimjustjim976 Thank you, I appreciate that very much. Of course I am also a wretched sinner and no paragon of perfect behavior but striving every day to follow the pattern our father left for us.
Stay the course out there!
You are presuming that all women are equal and it's not true.
Not nagging
How can men ask women to step up? 😅
Dangerous! 😂
They don’t wanna talk about that. They think only men need to step up
These kinds of conversations are getting so old. I absolutely love this channel and will not ever stop watching it. It’s just exhausting. “Women, figure out the perfect way to talk to your husband so he doesn’t think you’re nagging him. Be perfectly traditional and feminine. Be this. Be that. This is what men want.” Ok… cool. Glad to hear yet another reason why most women can’t just be human beings and be themselves.
It's just rhetoric. The question more broadly is "how do I convince someone to behave differently than they're currently behaving." That question can be framed in terms of leading them to virtue, or any other direction, but it's ultimately all a question of rhetoric. And rhetoric is fundamental to our interactions with other people, including and especially in the life of follower of Christ.
Being "human beings" and I suppose being "themselves" simply means accepting that sometimes we won't be good at how we interact with other people, but that doesn't make the question of "how do I do this better?" an unimportant one. And it's possible there's an overemphasis on women, but we do it with all kinds of subjects. And the reality is that, in married life, a pivotal part of the sacrament is leading our spouses to heaven. So one of the most important questions you can ask is "how can I effectively communicate with my spouse in a way that will help lead them to Christ?" I'm not sure we should ever diminish the value of asking that question.
I see your point and I raise you to see this video from above the titles and views and comments. Be above it all. What is fundamentally going on here? A woman wants to encourage her husband more but she can sense he feels nagged. She wants to know how to overcome that so their marriage is stronger. Do you still find this to be "old" now?
Good rebuke! I'm sure King Solomon should listen to it and redact much of his divine, Holy Spirit filled, proverbs that talk about nagging wives
@sidneybuckaloo Catholic marriage is not for the weak. God calls both men and women to sacrifice themselves for the other.
@@stevenlester985 I don’t disagree with you here at all. It’s just frustrating to see this video after video. As if women weren’t made by God as completely different individuals. It seems like most videos I see this day talking about women is either hyper pro feminist and anti men or hyper feminine and be who a man wants you to be.
Hey Matt the comment section is filled with unhappy nagging women
Now do men. What do women do when they have tried everything? Nagging is usually a consequence after a woman has tried to ask, calmly talk, try to communicate, etc.. It seems there are always videos in what women should do, but never in what husbands should do. It gets old.