How are you doing? I know that feeling of anger and despair. They take so much from us, abuse us in plain sight, trick us into opening our door and our heart, and once they’ve taken what they need, we’re tossed aside and left to pick up the pieces on our own. It’s a very lonely journey but talking to others who’ve been there does help, and therapy is also a really good idea if you can. Be kind to yourself and take care.
I don't know if this will ever be answered ...I was not insecure that much ... But i was which makes the relationship cute...she put more seeds in my head regarding insecurity PURPOSELY ... There is no trust at all... Checking my phone whenever there is a chance... I feel like FBI is behind my ass.... I just wanted peace when i go back to her....what i get is self obsessed stories , constant comparison with her X in small talks... When i discussed my boundaries she said it's not right and i m insulting her with those boundaries..i would never have such boundaries of i was not felt insecure .... She made me felt like i am piece of SHIT.... I really loved her fought with my parents for her .... My parents who love me live for me... N i fought for her ...what i get back constant disrespect, making me feel it's my fault ...life feel like pain and. Pain and pain...because i love her madly...
@@tjfSIMgoing through it with you but look at like this. We are not targeted because we’re easy but because we are rare in this world 🌎. This is my second experience. I didn’t know about this in my 15 yr relationship and I recovered by starting a business. I ended losing in my second relationship. I believe all this information is needed to not repeat but you have to keep pushing and do what you enjoyed as a child. It’s the only way to recover. That was the most innocent years of your life. When they return, because they always do keep them beneath you regardless of what they have. Keep your business, money and heart to yourself💰💙 They will be your slave stuck in love bombing for life
Me: "I'm sorry for whatever I did to upset you. Can you please tell me what I did?" Them: "I shouldn't have to tell you. You should know." Me: "I really don't. I hurts me when we're not talking. Will you please communicate with me?" Them: (getting louder/angrier) "Just quit talking about it. It's in the past." Me: "I don't even know what you're upset about. How can i promise to change if I don't even know why you're mad?" Them: (yelling) "I told you to just stop talking about it! That's your problem. You don't know how to let stuff go!" Flying Monkeys: "You need to take responsibility for your part in this." ...and the cycle continues. Year after year. The toxicity is enough to make you lose your mind. Thank God I'm free. ❤️🩹
I’m going through this right now, almost verbatim, along with neglect and refusal to engage when trying to get my basic, vital needs met. I don’t know what to do because I can’t get out. This isn’t a relationship - I’m chronically ill and it’s a relative caring for me and, for now, I have no other options. I’ve spent months trying to adjust the way I communicate. Researched non-violent communication, scrutinised myself and anything and everything I could be inadvertently doing to aggravate him. I’m a quivering wreck. I’ve only recently realised he’s a narcissist. Glad you’re free. Praying for the day I can have freedom from abuse too.
I LOOK FORWARD TO THIS VIDEO I AM BEING GIVEN THE SILENT TREATMENT. FOR OVER 2 MONTHS THIS IS THE NARCISSISTS WEAPON AGAINST ME The SILENT TREATMENT AND TREATING ME LIKE I DONT EXIST. THIS ABUSE IS HORRIFIC.. I WAS BROKE DOWN FROM MONTHS AND YEARS OF THE SILENT TREATMENT…. NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS BRUTAL
Ignore back...BLOCK and delete. Have a memorial service for him and pretend he's dead. If a monkey says anything about him...say "hmm he died" and don't say anything else
I got silent treated so many times in a friendship with my ex best friend. Best he did was 9months. I was stupid let the guy back in my life. Years went by and he did it a few more times until one day I just said fuck it I dont need this person in my life anymore and blocked him on everything. Almost been 4 years now and yes I sort of think about it. But I think how much ive acheived without this low life friend in my life anymore. Rule 1 they silent treat you 2 or more times they’ll do it again. So do yourself a favour and get rid of these people.
Coverts hide everything. If they say they are broken, depressed. Run. You will not know until the worse thing happens out of the blue. Listen to Ben. He knows and listen to him.👍🏻
I ran but after 2 years it sneaks up on you what’s really happening to you but once you do you realize how much this isn’t worth my time anymore and I’m worth way more ! He did say he was broken he’s definitely a covert narcissist my ex but the last silent treatment he did I left an never looked back almost 5 months now blocked an happier and never again will I make excuses for a man’s behavior and I will never be with someone like this again! So I’m actually grateful for this experience because I learned that I deserve way more! He definitely made me apologize for what he did that I didn’t he was a victim of everything and I’m glad it’s over!
@@emmamonroe3311 it is crazy how they are robotic and say an act all alike across the world 🌎 no individuality other different types of personality disorders might have similar traits in different people but I never seen such a thing it’s the exact same! It’s crazy
I didn’t even know silent treatment, gaslighting, projection in this Terminology even existed, but now here I am. I am a #1 reason this means something. They want nothing from you but everything you had or have. Beware. Listen to Ben. It’s super sad. Educate and go no contact.
I think dead silence is the best becuz it gives you time to educate yourself and completely heal. It’s been 2 years now and I’m still healing. Don’t dismiss this and or not pay attention. Listen and understand you have 1 life, do not let them destroy that. Because they will try to their very last breath if they can. Don’t allow that. Your smarter than them. You can still be empathic but never to them. You are not a board game, leave the chess pieces on the table and GO-
Empathetic does NOT mean idiot to accept abuse. Empathetic ONLY means feeling things deeply. I feel things very deeply, that includes anger, sadness and love...
Turning tables! It is tough to deal with one and exhausting, but once you see the truth it becomes so clear what they are doing. I hope you are not dealing with one!
evident in the "partner" breaking up when a need is made clear, and coming back when you speak to them. later, you start picking up on the pattern and get 2 week silent treatments. then they ask you if you're even going to try to remedy the situation. seriously? then breAK up again after asking if you'll try but are met with confusion and apprehension. they'll also tell you they're scared of YOU or that you're a psychopath for asking questions so you can do basic life planning.
After 7 months of no contact due to me blocking on every avenue, my Narc got to me through a different name. The narc is my son. He said "you are dead to me". I thought then why are you texting me? Not the first time I've heard this. I'm not going to lie, this sent me into a spiral. If he wanted to open up a line of communication that was not the way to go about it. If he would have come with kindness I may have broke my no contact! I am grateful that this is how it came. Thank you for your insights and help.
So many times my Son has said the same thing to me and said so many cruel things which tore at me inside, so I'd leave and go home and not contact him, then he'd call as if nothing had happened being nice. When things went wrong with my Ex all I'd have was my Son, bit at times it felt like I was getting out of the Frying Pan and jumping into the Fire.
Basically the only way to take back your power and end the pain created in you by the silent treatment is to end the relationship unless you want to spend the rest of your life begging and grovelling. Even giving my ex the silent treatment right back didn’t work because my anxiety just increased while I tried to out wait him and he learned nothing. Not to mention I had stooped to his level. My ex used to Hoover me back then once he knew he’d got me hooked again he’d give me the silent treatment to punish me for dumping him. Right after I explained I’d left in the first place because I wasn’t willing to put up with the silent treatment.
I did that I did apologize but then the silent treatment became a weapon I wanted to talk to him so badly that he won't give it to me and we keept silent for so long, the craziest thing is that I gave him the idea I said to him one time how badly I wanted us to talk again, so he kept going and in the times that he wanted to talk I was so hurt I couldn't trust him so I kept silent too.
thats what my ex did to me,,,then she was flaunting it my face with the new supply to hurt me and get a reaction out me...i never showed any emotion but on the inside i was dying....eventually i went no contact since this person was toxic towards me.
When you tell him that you will not be ignored and that it's infuriating you and then you start showing what you're upset they say they're not gonna reward your behavior. This is why I can't talk to you. Look how You're acting.
Listening to these vid validate so many of my feelings and give me knowledgeable information. Many thanks.😊 The narc I was married to was also addicted. Many recoveries & relapses. The last was steroid use, social media supply etc I started trauma based therapy 3 months before I made him leave. Gaining the understanding of the narc/addict really helps me feel I was not crazy. The addiction kept me from seeing that there was a narcissist in this person. I stopped being supply when I found the steroids and social media ,gay porn etc. I now search for MY voice everyday,no contact,meditation ,health . Gratitude for family,friends and my health in surviving and knowing even with all the years of therapy the narcissist was bound to reappear. I’m a 72 yo women of the 60’s. Empowered again. Thank you Ben.
One thing that used to go running through my head when my Ex was quiet or giving me the Silent Treatment was that if he wasn't talking to me, who was he talking to? I thought this because of all the times he put seeds in my head about who he was talking to and who he was taking out. He used to say it was allbin my head and I would try to explain to him why, which was futile, but he wasn't interested of course. 🍒
Who doesn't love when they start an argument with you and then feel like they're justified for ignoring you meanwhile, they're just using that silence so they could cheat on you . like how they block you until they're done and then get mad at you for wanting to discuss what the argument was even about
Please don’t beat yourself up or feel stupid. These people are professional, practised con merchants who depend on manipulating others for their survival. They’re good at it. And they zero in on people who are trusting, who give people the benefit of the doubt. There’s a video on RUclips where a clinical psychologist talks about getting tricked and used by a narcissist - it really can happen to anyone.
Awesome video; spot on! Have unfortunately had this experience with my Dad and some coworkers, and the narcs who want others to apologize and take responsibility for the sins/bad behavior they/the narc committed, and are truly evil and dangerous people. Some will literally try to destroy everything about you or your reputation, and if that doesn't work, then severely harming or murdering you is sometimes the next option for destruction, to prevent you from leaving or exposing them. I can personally attest to how dangerous at least some of the ones who use silent treatment are; be careful that you make sure you are safe if you have to deal with them, it almost cost me my life. Parents in some cases will kill their own children to keep and maintain control over them and the narrative; may those suffering in those situations call on God (the creator of the universe) to deliver you safely out of the hand of the evil you are oppressed by. 🙏
When you need time to heal from the narcissistic abuse and the abuser won't allow you the space to do so, then I gotta resort to either ignoring or blocking, I don't like doing either but it's the lack of respect & the controlling factor with them that's so irritating to me, when I need space they won't give it, feel entitled to have access to me, but if they choose to go silent, I get nothing, nada, zero communication unless I beg for forgiveness and let them get away with their shenanigans...It's draining and I'm over it...Going no contact...don't care what they think..
Did it last? I'm one of the ones that "begs" after days of the silent treatment. I am otherwise an independent, intelligent, confident single business owner nearing 50 years old. I never loved someone like this in my life and I've been a disaster. I can't function. I'm completely at bottom. Nightmares, waking up with my lips moving saying things I want to say to him that I can't, mumbling to myself that I "hate my life", all while I'm half asleep and images are flashing through my mind. It's like emotional waterboarding. I don't see any end in sight and I've learned during my relationship that I'm being controlled by my family for years. I've completely turned inward in total isolation and only talk to my customers.
Yes my husband after he would go overseas to see his parents he would come back home and silent treatment for months I could not understand why 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩every where now I know more about silent treatment💯💯💯💯
Omg he DOES want me to apologize. Cold day in hell. What an ego maniac. Yup wants me to take accountability for their actions, I fell for this slightly but it is grossing me out so much. This person just wow. So covert. It’s some twisted stuff! And yes! The relative abuse where you look crazy for being squeezed into this tiny bizarre shape just so they can keep their ego intact?
TY for EXPANSIVE EXPLAINATION of this topic insidious abuse. Been in 20+ relationship with one, remember being at overseas wedding during his one long silent treatment, with slight facade infront of family and his cold behavior & devaluing words behind doors. I remember this since I rarely cry, but discreetly ended up in the ladies room quietly broken, crying due to his coldness to me, but being nice and talking to everyone else. His kind, empath sister happen to come in and gave me a hug and kind words to carry on. Coming from a narc family, I am used to silent treatments, for most of my life as the peace keeper (empathic codependent) it would be my job to be chirpy, make jokes, fawn, getting the parties to talk and getting back together again. I was used to be ignored and most times had embarrassing stories told by my dad, as he wanted to be the life of the party. So narcs are different, but when it is all you know, you accept these behaviors as normal. I have a hard time speaking up and fear that people will think I am giving them the silent treatment, due to the gaslighting of my covert partner. I am slowly getting out of the fog but people should definitely be aware of this to avoid these relationships.
Covert Passive-Aggressive Narricist book referenced is a good read, especially because if you are surrounded by narc types, even overt ones can use these manuplulations. It is a especially good with real life examples that would be "no big deal" or "maybe you're reading to much into that" by others not familiar with kind of insidious abuse.
Omfg lol watching these from a completely different mind frame, after doing soooooo much inner work. Reaonate is an understatement. Honestly, it's when you start googling your partners actions, you know your in a toxic relationship. I think that's when, when I think about it, the penny dropped. But I gave it a decent bat. This is almost laughable now. It's sad, but true. 110%
GREAT SHOW, NECESSARY WHEN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND JUST WHAT ONE JUST EXPERIENCED IS WHAT ONE SUSPECTED. PEEPS ON 😎, I WAS LUCKY, WAS ONLY A FRIENDSHIP THAT I CHOSE GOD OVER A NARCS NONSENSE. AFTER 5 YRS, I'M SATISFIED IN CHOICE. THESE HELP ONE REALLY UNDERSTAND THE CLOCKWORK IN NARCS MIND PERSPECTIVE. BEST TO LET IT SINK IN. 👌
The silent treatment is horrible the silence is deafening. I endured this with the covert Narc I dated it was my clue something was off it’s actually an odd behavior….
Mine would begin to give me the silent treatment and in the beginning i was razor sharp and recognized every time that it was somehow attached to something i did that he must not have liked. Like going out with my sister, visiting my other sister, a friend of mine stopping to say hi to me, etc i pieced it together quickly and always thought, "omg I think he's punishing me." I flat out asked him if he was pissed at the things I suspected and he acted like I was crazy. I started to lose track, as he began raging on me every weekend. He was a guitar player and would play shows over the weekend, and prior to every single show, he would explode in hot rage over anything he decided was a good opportunity to flip out. So i began to blast him in texts, and tore him apart, dismantling his ego, making him see how bad he was hurting me by leaving no stone unturned. He was withholding sex (once a month) and constantly reloading, ready to fire. I have never been so abused in my life. I have lost all sense of reality. Begged him repeatedly. Blamed myself to him. Hated myself. I've been drowning in the worst pain of my life. I started therapy because of my childhood trauma, or so i thought it was that which caused me to hurt him. I was lashing out, desperate to know why he just kept doing this. My cousin and close friend, the only ones outside my immediate family who knew about us, both think I'm crazy because even to THEM I admitted it as my fault. My therapist told me I'm Borderline and now I have to figure out if that's even true, as I was already diagnosed CPTSD long ago. This is a downward spiral I wouldn't wish on anyone.
We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
@@RawMotivations I am an ex cult victim. I taught people for years how to break away from mind control. I ran a support group of hundreds of victims of a cult. They were the most damaged people I've ever seen, Ben, and this is 1000x worse. Cults affect your mind. Narcissism affects your mind, heart and it consumes your soul. There's no breaking out of this. He was an alcoholic with a dying father and at the end of his marriage. I dove in head first to try to save him. It's alcoholism on top of Narcissism and it's a lethal combination that has probably damaged me for life. Sometimes it's not about the "secret formula." Sometimes the stacked damage is so bad you just don't want to feel anything. After trying to save people for years the way you yourself are dedicating your own life to doing, after something like this you realize that the one time you thought was your final reason for living is gone
Ive been in a form of silent treatment. He has sent minimal texts most days. But chooses what messages and whrn tp read. And when to leave the conversation also.
Firstly, great presentation of the subject. It spoke to the most hurtful part of my experience. Secondly, yes, I watched this 😊 and your lack of gender usage was perfect, I didn't have to keep translating him to her.
My nex cheated on me so i didn’t speak to his for a few days. when i gathered my thoughts and responded to him. He was upset blamed me for everything and went silent. He said the relationship is not worth the mind games. lol he literally cheated. Anyway, after a few days of asking him to speak I gave up. Giving him silence permanently.
I am sorry for the trauma that was brought upon you. My 1st husband was an overt narc, took his life in front of the police. Selfish doesn't begin to cover the attitude he had. 13 years later our son followed his example. My Justin ended up living with his paternal grandparents. 5 yrs later at 22 he died right in front of them. The grandfather wouldn't even come outside to help him. They are not just hurtful, they are dangerous too. They try to hollow us out to match them. Demonic.😢
MR TAYLOR are you willing to do on line paid marriage therapy? I'm 60 with 26 yrs of Narcissist husband...I can't leave I'm disabled...he won't leave even after 2 yr affair...other therapists just put me in more trauma because they don't understand npd and he manipulates them...I feel if he were self aware like you it would be emotionally manageable...I'm no longer in trauma bond I understand that so I'm emotionally distant but if he doesn't become self aware then I cannot be emotionally or sensually vulnerable because it's related for women so then that escalates his anger I'm a user then. He's willing to do npd marriage counseling he knows he's not wired the same as others but no npd marriage therapy here.
My childrens father and our not single family friend woman having coffee dates and something serious over 6 years. So i get them giving me silent treatment, all is my fault. They say its nothing and its not relationship, or sex. So what it was? 🙄
I just need to say I am tired of dealing with the damage that has been done. Every day has been a struggle and I am angry.
How are you doing? I know that feeling of anger and despair. They take so much from us, abuse us in plain sight, trick us into opening our door and our heart, and once they’ve taken what they need, we’re tossed aside and left to pick up the pieces on our own. It’s a very lonely journey but talking to others who’ve been there does help, and therapy is also a really good idea if you can. Be kind to yourself and take care.
@@tjfSIM thank you. It is absolutely exhausting. He resurfaced and acted like nothing ever happened. I have changed so much.
I don't know if this will ever be answered ...I was not insecure that much ... But i was which makes the relationship cute...she put more seeds in my head regarding insecurity PURPOSELY ... There is no trust at all... Checking my phone whenever there is a chance... I feel like FBI is behind my ass.... I just wanted peace when i go back to her....what i get is self obsessed stories , constant comparison with her X in small talks... When i discussed my boundaries she said it's not right and i m insulting her with those boundaries..i would never have such boundaries of i was not felt insecure .... She made me felt like i am piece of SHIT.... I really loved her fought with my parents for her .... My parents who love me live for me... N i fought for her ...what i get back constant disrespect, making me feel it's my fault ...life feel like pain and. Pain and pain...because i love her madly...
@@tjfSIMgoing through it with you but look at like this. We are not targeted because we’re easy but because we are rare in this world 🌎. This is my second experience. I didn’t know about this in my 15 yr relationship and I recovered by starting a business. I ended losing in my second relationship. I believe all this information is needed to not repeat but you have to keep pushing and do what you enjoyed as a child. It’s the only way to recover. That was the most innocent years of your life. When they return, because they always do keep them beneath you regardless of what they have. Keep your business, money and heart to yourself💰💙 They will be your slave stuck in love bombing for life
Me: "I'm sorry for whatever I did to upset you. Can you please tell me what I did?"
Them: "I shouldn't have to tell you. You should know."
Me: "I really don't. I hurts me when we're not talking. Will you please communicate with me?"
Them: (getting louder/angrier) "Just quit talking about it. It's in the past."
Me: "I don't even know what you're upset about. How can i promise to change if I don't even know why you're mad?"
Them: (yelling) "I told you to just stop talking about it! That's your problem. You don't know how to let stuff go!"
Flying Monkeys: "You need to take responsibility for your part in this."
...and the cycle continues. Year after year. The toxicity is enough to make you lose your mind. Thank God I'm free. ❤️🩹
I’m going through this right now, almost verbatim, along with neglect and refusal to engage when trying to get my basic, vital needs met. I don’t know what to do because I can’t get out. This isn’t a relationship - I’m chronically ill and it’s a relative caring for me and, for now, I have no other options.
I’ve spent months trying to adjust the way I communicate. Researched non-violent communication, scrutinised myself and anything and everything I could be inadvertently doing to aggravate him. I’m a quivering wreck. I’ve only recently realised he’s a narcissist.
Glad you’re free. Praying for the day I can have freedom from abuse too.
Silent treatment
Watch movies
Read
Play music
Learn
Play these videos LOUD
Enjoy the peace
I told mine that it’s a day off for me. 😂
I LOOK FORWARD TO THIS VIDEO I AM BEING GIVEN THE SILENT TREATMENT.
FOR OVER 2 MONTHS THIS IS THE NARCISSISTS WEAPON AGAINST ME The SILENT TREATMENT AND TREATING ME LIKE I DONT EXIST.
THIS ABUSE IS HORRIFIC..
I WAS BROKE DOWN FROM MONTHS AND YEARS OF THE SILENT TREATMENT….
NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS BRUTAL
Ignore back...BLOCK and delete. Have a memorial service for him and pretend he's dead. If a monkey says anything about him...say "hmm he died" and don't say anything else
@@mightymouse1005
Your ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS.
IM STRUGGLING TO DISCONNECT IM TRAUMA BONDED
I think I'm going to use that. He died being silent!😂 * A-holes* what right do they have to treat us this way. Hollow shell people
I got silent treated so many times in a friendship with my ex best friend. Best he did was 9months. I was stupid let the guy back in my life. Years went by and he did it a few more times until one day I just said fuck it I dont need this person in my life anymore and blocked him on everything. Almost been 4 years now and yes I sort of think about it. But I think how much ive acheived without this low life friend in my life anymore.
Rule 1 they silent treat you 2 or more times they’ll do it again. So do yourself a favour and get rid of these people.
Coverts hide everything. If they say they are broken, depressed. Run. You will not know until the worse thing happens out of the blue. Listen to Ben. He knows and listen to him.👍🏻
I ran but after 2 years it sneaks up on you what’s really happening to you but once you do you realize how much this isn’t worth my time anymore and I’m worth way more ! He did say he was broken he’s definitely a covert narcissist my ex but the last silent treatment he did I left an never looked back almost 5 months now blocked an happier and never again will I make excuses for a man’s behavior and I will never be with someone like this again! So I’m actually grateful for this experience because I learned that I deserve way more! He definitely made me apologize for what he did that I didn’t he was a victim of everything and I’m glad it’s over!
It’s so. Freakin weird.
@@Nicole-fl8gv Yes all coverts I believe say they are broken so that the tell tale sign.
@@mandaa4 beyond weird.
@@emmamonroe3311 it is crazy how they are robotic and say an act all alike across the world 🌎 no individuality other different types of personality disorders might have similar traits in different people but I never seen such a thing it’s the exact same! It’s crazy
I didn’t even know silent treatment, gaslighting, projection in this Terminology even existed, but now here I am. I am a #1 reason this means something. They want nothing from you but everything you had or have. Beware. Listen to Ben. It’s super sad. Educate and go no contact.
I think dead silence is the best becuz it gives you time to educate yourself and completely heal. It’s been 2 years now and I’m still healing. Don’t dismiss this and or not pay attention. Listen and understand you have 1 life, do not let them destroy that. Because they will try to their very last breath if they can. Don’t allow that. Your smarter than them. You can still be empathic but never to them. You are not a board game, leave the chess pieces on the table and GO-
Empathetic does NOT mean idiot to accept abuse. Empathetic ONLY means feeling things deeply. I feel things very deeply, that includes anger, sadness and love...
True, they will look for any reason to put you in fault, so that your faults will seam bigger than theirs, if you already discovered these.
Turning tables! It is tough to deal with one and exhausting, but once you see the truth it becomes so clear what they are doing. I hope you are not dealing with one!
evident in the "partner" breaking up when a need is made clear, and coming back when you speak to them. later, you start picking up on the pattern and get 2 week silent treatments. then they ask you if you're even going to try to remedy the situation. seriously? then breAK up again after asking if you'll try but are met with confusion and apprehension. they'll also tell you they're scared of YOU or that you're a psychopath for asking questions so you can do basic life planning.
@@RawMotivations unfortunately yes, I’m still dealing with one. But gaining control and consciousness. Thank for your concern 👍
After 7 months of no contact due to me blocking on every avenue, my Narc got to me through a different name. The narc is my son. He said "you are dead to me". I thought then why are you texting me? Not the first time I've heard this. I'm not going to lie, this sent me into a spiral. If he wanted to open up a line of communication that was not the way to go about it. If he would have come with kindness I may have broke my no contact! I am grateful that this is how it came. Thank you for your insights and help.
So many times my Son has said the same thing to me and said so many cruel things which tore at me inside, so I'd leave and go home and not contact him, then he'd call as if nothing had happened being nice. When things went wrong with my Ex all I'd have was my Son, bit at times it felt like I was getting out of the Frying Pan and jumping into the Fire.
Basically the only way to take back your power and end the pain created in you by the silent treatment is to end the relationship unless you want to spend the rest of your life begging and grovelling. Even giving my ex the silent treatment right back didn’t work because my anxiety just increased while I tried to out wait him and he learned nothing. Not to mention I had stooped to his level. My ex used to Hoover me back then once he knew he’d got me hooked again he’d give me the silent treatment to punish me for dumping him. Right after I explained I’d left in the first place because I wasn’t willing to put up with the silent treatment.
Shame on him for cheating !!! And he would give me the silent treatment !!!!
The same thing happened to me. Figure out he cheated, he blocked me for 3 months. Digusting.
I did that I did apologize but then the silent treatment became a weapon I wanted to talk to him so badly that he won't give it to me and we keept silent for so long, the craziest thing is that I gave him the idea I said to him one time how badly I wanted us to talk again, so he kept going and in the times that he wanted to talk I was so hurt I couldn't trust him so I kept silent too.
I think he was grooming new supply when he was ignoring me.
thats what my ex did to me,,,then she was flaunting it my face with the new supply to hurt me and get a reaction out me...i never showed any emotion but on the inside i was dying....eventually i went no contact since this person was toxic towards me.
Thats exactly whats going on
Exactly
When you tell him that you will not be ignored and that it's infuriating you and then you start showing what you're upset they say they're not gonna reward your behavior. This is why I can't talk to you. Look how You're acting.
Hell no I’m over it ❤
8 months later... did you go back?
To me the silent treatment means,he was someone I used to know.Good bye forever
Listening to these vid validate so many of my feelings and give me knowledgeable information. Many thanks.😊
The narc I was married to was also addicted. Many recoveries & relapses. The last was steroid use, social media supply etc
I started trauma based therapy 3 months before I made him leave. Gaining the understanding of the narc/addict really helps me
feel I was not crazy. The addiction kept me from seeing that there was a narcissist in this person.
I stopped being supply when I found the steroids and social media ,gay porn etc.
I now search for MY voice everyday,no contact,meditation ,health . Gratitude for family,friends and my health in surviving and knowing even with all the years of therapy the narcissist was bound to reappear. I’m a 72 yo women of the 60’s. Empowered again.
Thank you Ben.
One thing that used to go running through my head when my Ex was quiet or giving me the Silent Treatment was that if he wasn't talking to me, who was he talking to? I thought this because of all the times he put seeds in my head about who he was talking to and who he was taking out. He used to say it was allbin my head and I would try to explain to him why, which was futile, but he wasn't interested of course. 🍒
I give it right back. I play music and sing....completely ignore.....
@@mightymouse1005 mee too, Lmao I have airport ground crew earbuds! 😃 turn arrs narc down 56 decibels. Lol
I totally understand. barf
Some many videos explaining narc behavior but very few gives details on how to respond to it 😔🤷🏻♀️
Who doesn't love when they start an argument with you and then feel like they're justified for ignoring you meanwhile, they're just using that silence so they could cheat on you . like how they block you until they're done and then get mad at you for wanting to discuss what the argument was even about
Thank you, happened to me recently while I thought I wouldn't fall for it. I did.....I'm so hurt I have no words. Thank you
Please don’t beat yourself up or feel stupid. These people are professional, practised con merchants who depend on manipulating others for their survival. They’re good at it. And they zero in on people who are trusting, who give people the benefit of the doubt. There’s a video on RUclips where a clinical psychologist talks about getting tricked and used by a narcissist - it really can happen to anyone.
@@tjfSIM yeah, I'm.loving my whole life around them since parents. Thank you for your kindness
Awesome video; spot on! Have unfortunately had this experience with my Dad and some coworkers, and the narcs who want others to apologize and take responsibility for the sins/bad behavior they/the narc committed, and are truly evil and dangerous people. Some will literally try to destroy everything about you or your reputation, and if that doesn't work, then severely harming or murdering you is sometimes the next option for destruction, to prevent you from leaving or exposing them. I can personally attest to how dangerous at least some of the ones who use silent treatment are; be careful that you make sure you are safe if you have to deal with them, it almost cost me my life. Parents in some cases will kill their own children to keep and maintain control over them and the narrative; may those suffering in those situations call on God (the creator of the universe) to deliver you safely out of the hand of the evil you are oppressed by. 🙏
When you need time to heal from the narcissistic abuse and the abuser won't allow you the space to do so, then I gotta resort to either ignoring or blocking, I don't like doing either but it's the lack of respect & the controlling factor with them that's so irritating to me, when I need space they won't give it, feel entitled to have access to me, but if they choose to go silent, I get nothing, nada, zero communication unless I beg for forgiveness and let them get away with their shenanigans...It's draining and I'm over it...Going no contact...don't care what they think..
Did it last? I'm one of the ones that "begs" after days of the silent treatment. I am otherwise an independent, intelligent, confident single business owner nearing 50 years old. I never loved someone like this in my life and I've been a disaster. I can't function. I'm completely at bottom. Nightmares, waking up with my lips moving saying things I want to say to him that I can't, mumbling to myself that I "hate my life", all while I'm half asleep and images are flashing through my mind. It's like emotional waterboarding. I don't see any end in sight and I've learned during my relationship that I'm being controlled by my family for years. I've completely turned inward in total isolation and only talk to my customers.
@@alouise3557
Did what last? The silent treatment?
@@Freethnkr going no contact. Are you still in NC? If so, for how long?
Yes my husband after he would go overseas to see his parents he would come back home and silent treatment for months I could not understand why 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩every where now I know more about silent treatment💯💯💯💯
Thank uuuu!!!!
“ Manipulate the results” 🎯 And sometimes that backfires….
Omg he DOES want me to apologize. Cold day in hell. What an ego maniac. Yup wants me to take accountability for their actions, I fell for this slightly but it is grossing me out so much. This person just wow. So covert. It’s some twisted stuff! And yes! The relative abuse where you look crazy for being squeezed into this tiny bizarre shape just so they can keep their ego intact?
TY for EXPANSIVE EXPLAINATION of this topic insidious abuse. Been in 20+ relationship with one, remember being at overseas wedding during his one long silent treatment, with slight facade infront of family and his cold behavior & devaluing words behind doors.
I remember this since I rarely cry, but discreetly ended up in the ladies room quietly broken, crying due to his coldness to me, but being nice and talking to everyone else. His kind, empath sister happen to come in and gave me a hug and kind words to carry on.
Coming from a narc family, I am used to silent treatments, for most of my life as the peace keeper (empathic codependent) it would be my job to be chirpy, make jokes, fawn, getting the parties to talk and getting back together again. I was used to be ignored and most times had embarrassing stories told by my dad, as he wanted to be the life of the party. So narcs are different, but when it is all you know, you accept these behaviors as normal. I have a hard time speaking up and fear that people will think I am giving them the silent treatment, due to the gaslighting of my covert partner. I am slowly getting out of the fog but people should definitely be aware of this to avoid these relationships.
Covert Passive-Aggressive Narricist book referenced is a good read, especially because if you are surrounded by narc types, even overt ones can use these manuplulations. It is a especially good with real life examples that would be "no big deal" or "maybe you're reading to much into that" by others not familiar with kind of insidious abuse.
Omfg lol watching these from a completely different mind frame, after doing soooooo much inner work. Reaonate is an understatement. Honestly, it's when you start googling your partners actions, you know your in a toxic relationship. I think that's when, when I think about it, the penny dropped. But I gave it a decent bat. This is almost laughable now. It's sad, but true. 110%
GREAT SHOW, NECESSARY WHEN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND JUST WHAT ONE JUST EXPERIENCED IS WHAT ONE SUSPECTED. PEEPS ON 😎, I WAS LUCKY, WAS ONLY A FRIENDSHIP THAT I CHOSE GOD OVER A NARCS NONSENSE. AFTER 5 YRS, I'M SATISFIED IN CHOICE. THESE HELP ONE REALLY UNDERSTAND THE CLOCKWORK IN NARCS MIND PERSPECTIVE. BEST TO LET IT SINK IN. 👌
The silent treatment is horrible the silence is deafening. I endured this with the covert Narc I dated it was my clue something was off it’s actually an odd behavior….
Mine would begin to give me the silent treatment and in the beginning i was razor sharp and recognized every time that it was somehow attached to something i did that he must not have liked. Like going out with my sister, visiting my other sister, a friend of mine stopping to say hi to me, etc i pieced it together quickly and always thought, "omg I think he's punishing me." I flat out asked him if he was pissed at the things I suspected and he acted like I was crazy. I started to lose track, as he began raging on me every weekend. He was a guitar player and would play shows over the weekend, and prior to every single show, he would explode in hot rage over anything he decided was a good opportunity to flip out. So i began to blast him in texts, and tore him apart, dismantling his ego, making him see how bad he was hurting me by leaving no stone unturned. He was withholding sex (once a month) and constantly reloading, ready to fire. I have never been so abused in my life. I have lost all sense of reality. Begged him repeatedly. Blamed myself to him. Hated myself. I've been drowning in the worst pain of my life. I started therapy because of my childhood trauma, or so i thought it was that which caused me to hurt him. I was lashing out, desperate to know why he just kept doing this. My cousin and close friend, the only ones outside my immediate family who knew about us, both think I'm crazy because even to THEM I admitted it as my fault. My therapist told me I'm Borderline and now I have to figure out if that's even true, as I was already diagnosed CPTSD long ago. This is a downward spiral I wouldn't wish on anyone.
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@@RawMotivations I am an ex cult victim. I taught people for years how to break away from mind control. I ran a support group of hundreds of victims of a cult. They were the most damaged people I've ever seen, Ben, and this is 1000x worse. Cults affect your mind. Narcissism affects your mind, heart and it consumes your soul. There's no breaking out of this. He was an alcoholic with a dying father and at the end of his marriage. I dove in head first to try to save him. It's alcoholism on top of Narcissism and it's a lethal combination that has probably damaged me for life. Sometimes it's not about the "secret formula." Sometimes the stacked damage is so bad you just don't want to feel anything. After trying to save people for years the way you yourself are dedicating your own life to doing, after something like this you realize that the one time you thought was your final reason for living is gone
Ive been in a form of silent treatment. He has sent minimal texts most days. But chooses what messages and whrn tp read. And when to leave the conversation also.
YEAH i caught on to this!
Firstly, great presentation of the subject. It spoke to the most hurtful part of my experience.
Secondly, yes, I watched this 😊 and your lack of gender usage was perfect, I didn't have to keep translating him to her.
4minutes in and the video hasn’t started yet
Your speaking the Truth!!! How long before I do a check in? It's been 6 days😢
Check in?
Spot on
Preach Sir 😎❤️💫 facts
Okay... but what do we do when the person comes back and acts like nothing happens?
No don’t care. Detached.
My nex cheated on me so i didn’t speak to his for a few days. when i gathered my thoughts and responded to him. He was upset blamed me for everything and went silent. He said the relationship is not worth the mind games. lol he literally cheated.
Anyway, after a few days of asking him to speak I gave up. Giving him silence permanently.
How are you now? Healing can be tough after that
Oh yeah lots! xx
My fiancé killed himself after a situation like this, he didn't even say goodbye to me, he hurt me so bad, now I have to live with it.
I am sorry for the trauma that was brought upon you. My 1st husband was an overt narc, took his life in front of the police. Selfish doesn't begin to cover the attitude he had. 13 years later our son followed his example. My Justin ended up living with his paternal grandparents. 5 yrs later at 22 he died right in front of them. The grandfather wouldn't even come outside to help him. They are not just hurtful, they are dangerous too. They try to hollow us out to match them. Demonic.😢
Starts at 4:00
MR TAYLOR are you willing to do on line paid marriage therapy? I'm 60 with 26 yrs of Narcissist husband...I can't leave I'm disabled...he won't leave even after 2 yr affair...other therapists just put me in more trauma because they don't understand npd and he manipulates them...I feel if he were self aware like you it would be emotionally manageable...I'm no longer in trauma bond I understand that so I'm emotionally distant but if he doesn't become self aware then I cannot be emotionally or sensually vulnerable because it's related for women so then that escalates his anger I'm a user then. He's willing to do npd marriage counseling he knows he's not wired the same as others but no npd marriage therapy here.
My parents. Soon I'm leaving.
It didn't work. I went No Contact with all family
My childrens father and our not single family friend woman having coffee dates and something serious over 6 years. So i get them giving me silent treatment, all is my fault.
They say its nothing and its not relationship, or sex. So what it was? 🙄
Apologize?ok,I'm so sorry you lied about me and worked my neighbors and maintenance men against me,plz forgive me.🤡😂
yup
Great video. Some feedback; get into the subject matter of the video quicker.
There's no such thing as a "self-aware" narcissist. I don't know who diagnosed you, brah but you might want a second opinion.
lol haha
Never gonna happen, HERE.🤡🤡🤡👈🏻
No it won't.!!! LOL.