How I Mastered Social Skills As An Introvert (Easy)
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- Опубликовано: 10 июн 2024
- These are the few key things the research says you need to become good at socialising.
Socialising is difficult, especially for us introverts. It’s hard to know what the right thing to say or do is. I was the quiet one. I used to stress about every word I wanted to say. But everything started to change when I learnt the science behind the skills I share in this video.
I hope this helps.
Sam
Free Guide - Never Run Out of Things to Say: samchiu.ck.page/free-conversa...
This book made socialising become second nature (The Charisma Myth): amzn.to/4cx7fZM
Basics on socialising (How to Win Friends And Influence People): amzn.to/3VIyBWG
Timestamps:
00:00 Are Introverts Worse At Socialsing?
01:50 The True Goal Of Socialising
03:55 What You Need To Do First
05:58 What You Always Need To Pay Attention To
07:43 What Makes People Open To You
09:23 What Makes People Want To Be Around You
Disclaimer:
This video or video description contains affiliate links. They allow you to find the items mentioned in this video at no cost to you. I may earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
This video was unexpectedly high quality for its views. I always have trouble making deep relationships when I find it easy to make many relationships. Thanks for making this video!
Thank you! Yeah it can be difficult. It can also help when we take the first step to open ourselves up. People feel a deeper connection when they know we trust them with our deepest thoughts.
Went to the comments section to make the same statement. Superb quality for a small channel.
As an introvert with social anxiety, this is the exact type of video I needed. Informative and practical. Even better you’re also Aussie 🇦🇺
Thank you! I'm so glad this reached the exact person I wanted to help. I hope it makes a difference.
Almost didn't watch this because of the low views but I'm glad I did.
Great video.
Thank you Will!
After watching this video I expected to have like 2 million views seeing the quality of visuals and advice but it only had 2,000? What!? This guy is so underrated and just keep going man this stuff is really great.
Thanks so much for the kind words! It means a lot :)
Great video man! As someone who use to be an introvert, this was still incredibly relevant and useful for my life now. Keep it up brother :)
Love you bro ❤
Keep at it Sam! With quality videos like this you're bound to get the recognition you deserve.
Thanks so much for the kind words Roman. It means a lot :)
Best intro ever, and gr8 content and if you continuously put this much effort there's no way you won't have million people community, and I'm part of it from now, dw just keep doing what you are doing and you'll be there, best of luck mate
Vish, thanks so much for the kind words. It means a lot! ❤
@@_Sam_Chiu Anytime mate 😉
Thanks for making this video - I found it at just the right time in my life :D
I'm so glad to hear :) You got this!
you´re doing a great job! this video was spot on without extra, interrupting info :) Thanks a lot
Thank you for the kind words!
Really great encouraging video, l was intrigued from the thumbnail to the end of it! I thought I’d be one of a million people that liked the video honestly, and I’m sure that’s how it will be in no time 👍🏼
Thanks so much for the kind words! ❤
How are you not famous yet. This deserves a lot more attention. Keep up the good quality videos
Thank you for the kind words I hope it helps
You definitely gave me value with this video! I appreciate you
Glad you got something from it!
500 subs and has better , engaging videos then most on the platfrom keep doing what you love man
Thank you for the such kind comment!
Thank you so much for this amazing video Sam! I'm really thankful since I'm at a breaking point were i need to change my social life.
I'm in those work places with so many people and nobody would think I'm having hard times while socializing, yet when it comes to private and not work I get a bit stressed, pressured and sometimes even scared depending how I feel.
I hope with your help from your Video I'll get better, thank you! Wish you all the best 🤗
Thank you Mirjam! I'm so thankful for this comment because this is why I make these videos 😊
I've been in the same position with work and social life. If there's one big realisation I had about feeling scared/pressured it's that I was creating all these assumptions of what people may or may not be thinking. But at the end of the day no one was really judging me, even if they did they probably stopped thinking about me a few minutes later (kinda like how we're worried about our own problems). You got this!
Subscribed, underrated channel, remind me when this channel had blown up, i believed in it
Grateful to have you as a subscriber!
Great video, high quality content, well presented, perfect length! Keep going with creating such amazing videos! Very inspiring that you speak from your own experience,... ✨
Thanks so much for the motivation! 😀
THIS IS SOO GOOD, I HOPE YOU WILL HAVE 100K SUBS
Thank you!
Awesome video and story telling! & Hey man, before this channel blows up, can you tell me what program/service you use to retrieve all of that stock footage?
Thank you! The stock footage is from Envato Elements - I have a yearly subscription with them, it's quite affordable
One crazy fact is, at least for me, the older you get the lesser you want to deal with people and just be around the people most dear to you. Which is still socializing by the way. I love this video brother. Keep it up! We're watching. I hope to be in one of your videos soon!
I agree with you, a few people you can trust is all you need. Thanks again for the support brother. Keep working hard!
Thank you for that interesting and valuable video.🙂
Thank you Roman, hope it helps!
Great video!
Thank you!
Nice video man. 👍🏼
Thank you!
I m not even an introvert but still watched 😂 btw great work buddy!!
We have an intruder!! Haha kidding, hope it added some value anyway 😊
Awesome video brother. Love from India ❤
Thank you brother ❤
Bro u are underrated dude❤
Thank you for the kind words ❤
What if I’ve already been doing all of this but every time I give someone attention they never give it back. I gave all my kindness to them, but I don’t get anything back. They don’t ask me questions back about my day nothing. How do you make friends with you’re talking to a wall?
Firstly I'm sorry to hear. I know that can feel pretty isolating. It's an unusual situation because on a basic human level we all function with reciprocity: When others are kind to us, we feel like we need to be kind too, or else we feel guilty.
There's a few things that I can think of that might explain this
1) If it's a small number of people: You may have met a group of people who have "Dark Triad" traits. These are people with abnormally low levels of empathy, and they're generally quite selfish. I'd consider meeting new people if that's the case.
2) If you're getting this response from many people (which I use to), it might be time to look internally. My last point on "Social Exchange Theory" is very real. We value people who are of significant value to us or who we think boost our image. E.g. if someone is a millionaire or is just so charismatic, then we want to be seen with them. At the same time we avoid being around people that might "bring down" our image (as brutal and inhuman as it may be).
For me when I was going through my anxiety phase I was really hard to talk to, no one really wanted to hang out with me despite the attention I give. But that changed when I improved my conversation skills. I'm not sure if that applies to you, but a solution for any situation is to work on yourself and be so valuable that people can't say no to being around you. And if this is the case, you seem like quite a nice person so I'm sure it'll be quick to achieve.
Wishing you all the best
This is great. I hope others realize sooner than I did that most people don't ask about you but it's not your fault. Just recognize when someone does ask you anything that it's unique. Focus on those people.
Good shi
I'm 774 subscriber, yea 😄😁😁
Thanks so much Akash! Great to have you on board :)
This feels like an introvert should be an extrovert self-betrayal we are trying so hard to fit in.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! For myself personally I don’t try and be the center of attention. But I was tired of always being anxious and lonely. These lessons helped me become a lot better at making friends and mentally it made me a lot happier so just wanted to share with whoever it might come in handy for!
I like your message and everything about the video! But I’m a bit hesitant when it comes to following the steps. Would I become a bit of a people pleaser, always trying to figure out their passions, saying nice things, and doing nice things so that they’ll like me more?
To be fair, I have a friend who is very charming. She does something very similar to what you say in the video so I feel the advice is legitimate. I’m just a bit reluctant…
This is a great question! I feel like I know where you're coming from but let me know if I have it wrong.
Perhaps you feel like there's a slight feeling of "inferiority" when you're nice to someone. Because being nice to them is like trying to "win" their attention, when they otherwise wouldn't give that attention to you? So it's like they're doing you a favour by giving you their attention?
If so this comes down to my last point on percieved value. If we're coming to our interactions from a place of "value" the niceness we give people is seen more as "charitable" rather than people pleasing.
The way I like to think about this is, if there's a celebrity and they clearly have some type of status, and they show genuine interest in getting to know you and being nice. I don't really think of them as a people pleaser. It's more like "wow this person is so successful, they don't need to please others, yet they're still so kind, what an awesome person".
You can also consider your friend. When she's nice to you, do you feel like she's doing it because she has no other choice? Or it's because she's just a nice person and she doesn't need to do these things to make friends?
If this is the case then it's just a mental shift in self-image. You have things you're great at and that people would be jelous of. You have lots of value. So when you're nice to people it's because you choose to be nice, rather than you needing to be nice.
Nice content .U should reduce ur background music a little bit
Thank you for the feedback! I agree on the music.
Why is social exchange theory and perceived value have to be so difficult?
I like dressing casually. I feel comfortable in a Polo shirt and Khakis, or a T-shirt and Jeans. However it sounds like I need a Tux every day?
Also, I'm an artist, who's gone to art school where it seemed like the last thing people wanted to do was discuss our shared interest.
The good thing is you don't need a tux! Sorry for confusing things. You do want to stay true to who you are.
You can think of perceived value as "can this person help me in anyway". Our appearance/the clothes we wear are just a way that we quickly judge people. But you can completely be perceived as "valuable" in a t-shirt and jeans too. When Justin Bieber walks out in the street in a t-shirt and jeans people still flock to him because he's a great singer.
The fact that you're an artist is super interesting. You probably have great pieces of work, or have great skills that people would look up to. That is valuable.
Also I find people will always be hapy to talk about what their interested in. We all want to feel popular and talk about ourselves!
@@_Sam_Chiu Ok. Thank You for responding Mr. Chiu!
809th
Thank you Keith. Grateful to have you on board 🙏