It’s not always up to just you to decide when to have kids. I married at 22 and then had my husband refuse to have kids with me. He kept having excuses and putting it off. I then divorced him and then my new partner didn’t want kids right away either. I was ok waiting a bit but then he cheated. So I waited for nothing. I finally met a man who actually wanted kids. Now 33 and pregnant with first child. I wanted to have kids 10 years ago. But wasn’t with a willing partner. Sadly
I’m 26 and this has been my experience. I’ve been ready since 22 but haven’t been with a man who is ready. My boyfriend who I’ve been with for 1.5 years says he is open to starting to try in another 1.5 years. I’ve always wanted 4 babies, so I’m hoping I’ll have an easy chance doing that starting at 28. My mom fell pregnant very easily at 34, but my dads side of the family struggled with infertility so I’m a bit nervous
I’m actually tearing up. I’m in the process of completing my PhD (still early in the program) and am constantly going back and forth about when the right time is, I appreciate you making this video so so much.
A general rule is both partners should always be between twenty and forty years of age with savings in the 6 figures and little to no history of mental or physical illness for the healthiest children.
@@douche8980 So what you’re telling me is a person at the age of 35 with a Bachelor’s Degree that makes a decent living, however does NOT have a savings in the 6 figures… More like $10,000 in savings is not adequate for having a baby? Interesting.
@@brendaarteaga2664 I would actually change the age to 3O give or take 5 years since that seem to be young enough where issues won't occur with sperm and egg plus most people are more established then. Savings is more important than monthly or annual income since jobs can be lost at the drop of a hat while savings can last year's and sometimes decades.
I was married at 20 and had my first child a month before I turned 22. I still had a semester of my undergraduate studies left, and so did my husband. We were taking 17 credits each and both working part time. We felt it was the right time even despite the challenges because there would never be a "perfect time." I now work full-time from home with our two children (3 and 18 months) while also trying to launch a writing career, while my husband works outside of the home. It's definitely no cakewalk, but I would never change our decision. Our kids are the best part of our life, and while our dreams are coming a little bit slower, we're still working on them. And the fact that our kids get to share in our successes and failures and learn firsthand what hard work looks like has turned out to be a pretty cool thing. Of course, I'm very blessed with my job and to be able to work with flexible hours, but I think anyone can make having a family work at any time if that's what they want. We don't even have family nearby to help with the kids and we make it work really well for us!
Thank you so much for this! I’m turning 30 in a couple months and will be 30 when my first is born. Insane to think about my life trajectory thus far- I didn’t plan this pregnancy but it happened when I was two years deep into the mindset of being a wife and mom. And the fact that it’s happening right at 30 was NOT in the “plan” but I had dreams I was focused on, not goals- especially when it comes to partnership and babies I think goals are cute but the reality is we have to surrender to life itself for these things to happen, so the order of life actualizing is all over the place even outside of kids for me. I believe this is the best timing for this to happen for me even though it was unexpected. I’ve been in my flexible career for over a decade now and have always kept life and my schedule open to new things. This chapter is beyond exciting and overwhelming. It’s bringing me closer to my bigger purpose, to the life I always envisioned for myself. Bless everyone afraid of becoming a mom, I feel you now more than ever. We women are so resilient.
For perspective my mother had me at 36. After me she had my little sister at 39 and had complications that put both her and my sis close to their death beds, she ended up being one month premature. She did have preexisting issues but having a baby at 39 she was really pushing it. She also had a miscarriage right before me.
I loved this video! I'm 29 and my fiance and I started talking about it before the pandemic (when I was 28) and we have put it off so I'm not high risk which has made both of us sad. I found this video so comforting and reassuring!!
I'm 29, happily married, but I really can't make my mind up if I want to have kids or not. Some days, like today, I have a strong desire to have kids and would be ready to stop by birth control and start trying right away...other days I want to be like my Aunt Ellie and never have kids and travel the world instead. I've been waiting to feel a consistent feeling, one way or the other, before I decide but it's just not happening. I keep going back and forth. And I don't know if that should be my sign that I'm not ready for kids...maybe I'm too selfish. Pros: - I've always wanted to experience pregnancy - I love babies - I don't want to regret not having kids later in life - I want to see my husband as a dad - I want to give my child the environment I didn't have growing up Cons: - I have needle phobia and still haven't managed a blood test - I am a selfish person. I enjoy being able to sit around not having to do anything for anyone - I have anxiety issues as well as neurodivergence and my mental health may suffer - maybe it would be different with my own kid, but I don't like most children between the ages of 3 - 16... - My husband and I both use medical marijuana. - I have sleep apnea and already get terrible sleep - I would rather be a stay at home mom, but my job pays more than my husband's and we need it to survive. We also just recently got into a good financial swing of things and I don't want to jeopardize that. - All our friends/family who have had kids ended up breaking up or divorcing...I don't want to wreck our marriage
Right time to have children is when you actually have time for your children and are physically, mentally and financially ready to have children. Doesn't matter what age you are, but keep in mind the older we get the more difficult it is to conceive. Yeszir
Age matters as having kids in your teens or 40s is usually not a good idea but nature carves out a twenty year age bracket for normal healthy people to reproduce whenever they are ready and or course many other factors exist as to whether folk should even have kids at all other than age.
I’ve had my friends have their first babies at 40.they are healthy as they wanted to build foundations first before they had kids, so I’m just praying I’m one of them in not 40 yet but close to it whatever happens, it’s god will I pray I become a mum one day
Natalie, You are just incredible. I've only just recently discovered your videos after questioning whether (at 34 almost 35) I need to freeze my eggs. I want a baby but my physical health isn't great right now. I'm desperate to be a mum and have my own genetic children but the advice, even from my own GP over here in England is delivered in a cold and confusing way and has been stressing me out and making me upset. I've binge watched so many of your videos over the last few days and I feel calmer, more knowledgeable and just better all round. I've learnt more from your videos than in my 6 visits to the fertility hospital. So thank you so much. What a wonderful, caring and beautiful lady you are, if only all doctors could be like you
This is so comforting and reassuring! I just turned 30 and have been thinking on and off when should my husband and i genuinely sit down and start thinking and planning! This made me feel so much better and that " im running out of time" feeling has eased up thank you .
30s is actually an ideal time for having children and for a man of this age bracket this is much easier to attain but women can give birth in this decade too only their egg count and quality of eggs usually goes down as they get older.
Hoping you have a baby or pregnant now. Don’t wait woman. Not matter the age nor busyness in life. We are never ready. We learn by and during the process. Just think a about it. How much plans we do in life. Give it to God. But actively do your part of growing your family.
@@sushibowl9707i want to at least have a house. I am still renting and saving for my downpayment, it may take me two more years to buy my house. I am 31 years old and already thinking about all of this
It is a feeling, which I started to feel 6 months ago or so? It is unexplainable, so I told my boyfriend, he was shocked and needed to process it. I gave him time. We live to together almost 5 years, and have everything to accommodate children. Since a month or so, we set the agreement together that we do whatever we want and not preventing it. It is not in an obsessive way, with ovulationtests. I only do have the flo app, just to track when my period will be. We will see if there will a baby soon or that it is just not our time yet..
some of these options require money a lot of us don't have. I wanted a kid at 24 but I wasn't in an appropriate relationship until 10 years later. I'm glad that I didn't back then. Sure I'll be delivering at 34 but that's fine with me. I hope that I'll have another in a couple years. 2 is my limit.
I don't want to be insensitive but I 32 and 33 is not even an advance maternal age. I think we should be informed- yes, but I somehow sense this underlying notion of panic if one hasn't birthed couple of kids by 30. And while it's an extremely sensitive subject, if one doesn't have emotional, financial and social means to have kids imho it's better not to.
The problem is when people plan to have children at 32 or 33 and then only find out they have fertility issues when they start trying. You hit that age, try for a child, but it can take years from that point to conceive. So although 32 isn't an advanced maternal age, things have to go very smoothly to have a baby when you planned it.
Thank you for this video! I am 28, have a job in corporate America and wanting multiple kids. Because of the job loss of my husband we have put having kids on pause. This video def is an eye opener and I am going to ask my doctor about the blood test you mentioned! I want to be prepared if we are going to have trouble conceiving and start actively making plans for the future since I have irregular periods. I also bought ovulation strips to start testing and making sure I’m actually ovulating.
I'm turning 32 in october and I'm having major crisis over do I want kids or not. I have no idea if I'm cut out to be a mom. I have a man, but it's long distance and corona is screwing everything up, so definitely getting worried.. A friend who is the same age as me, is going to start fertility treatments because she's having lowered egg quality already. Meanwhile a friend who is few years older, got a baby on her second try. It's not easy being a woman and feeling like you're running out of time.. Major stress and feeling like maybe I should make an appointment with my gyno just to check what my situation is and how long do I have to try.. Btw, I love how empathic you come across on your videos ❤
I am 23 and my husband and I are having alot of trouble ttc ! Getting emotionally exhausting for the both of us and we are both considering throwing in the towel. Everyone always tells us we "have lots of time" but being told that by people who haven't felt with fertility issues is like a slap in the face. 😥
I can deeply empathize. This is what happened to me as well at the same age. It’s extremely invalidating and feels like nobody is taking you seriously.
Lol so controversial. My own mother had children late and cautions me to not wait until I’m 35 but my mother in law had kids at 45 and says wait as long as I possibly can and don’t worry about in-fertility! I’m 26 now and hubby and I feel we are not close to being ready yet
Don't wait as long as you possibly can, the available evidence is not that unclear, we have stats on fertility success at various ages. It does dip significantly in the mid-30s and rapidly accelerates after 40. You can also check your ovarian reserve at any age.
Your content is so helpful and relatable! I am so grateful a good friend shared your channel with me 😊 I am finishing my Masters program, work full time and was recently diagnosed with PCOS. My husband and I have begun the journey of trying to conceive and the information you are sharing and your ability to share your own personal story means so much to me. Thank you so much!!!!
I'm glad I had my daughter at 20 now im 29 almost 30 and i feel its not the right time (im in a new relationship) and we talked about having a baby in a year more o less and then another one 2 years later and thats it haha ❤ hopefully everything goes fine.
I want kids more than anything, I’ve wanted kids since I was 13/14, & I still want kids, meanwhile I’m only 17 😅 I’m afraid of suffering infertility & especially from endometriosis... I know it gets worse as you age... I just want to raise up my own kids, show them what life is really about, teach them to be kind, share myself & my life with them...
@@theultimatereductionist7592 Fuck off you weirdo. Want a vasectomy? Don't want kids? Have your tubes tied or stop having sex. Don't try and force your freakish ideas on other people.
I got diagnosed with PCOS and Endo the same week I was pregnant (according to my LMP). It's possible. This is my very first pregnancy. It's been easy and had no morning sickness. Baby is doing fine and I'm 33 weeks pregnant right now but because Im overweight and have PCOS I have to take blood pressure meds and got gestational diabetes. It's not scary but it's manageable and it goes away after pregnancy. My advice coming from having a young parent is to get your fertility checked, get a career or good job, make sure you can provide a stable and living environment, and do this at an age that makes sense to you. Nothing worse than being young and unstable. So many in their 20s have careers, and are generally stable have kids but it's not very common. Unfortunately it took me to be 34 but it's okay. Good luck to you!
Thank you for this video. I found it reassuring as I’m waiting for a laparoscopy (delayed courtesy of the pandemic) and living in the period of unknown in the meantime is difficult. Thank you for being calming and reassuring. I really appreciate it.
Awesome information! Everyone hears 35, and it will be harder to have a kid. Yes making it a goal to have a plan for kids would be very helpful to have more couples become parents. I am curious how long should it take to have baby 2 at 33? I hope to have 4 kids.
Don’t have a partner to even take this question seriously but I want kids like yesterday 😅 but am I ready for them financially? NOPE. Unless I have an inheritance in process I can’t even seriously consider procreation. Children are expensive and deserve the best.
I mean...I agree (and this is just my own musings and not at all trying to impose my opinion on you!), but also I do think people feel these days that children need to be basically raised in luxury. I don't personally agree...I think if you are financially prepared to provide for their basic needs and education, as well as keep yourself out of dire financial emergencies, I think this is fine. I'm not sure raising children with the best of everything really prepares them to be self-sufficient.
@@vanderbam2741 As a child who was raised with everything & married a man who was not as a child, I Can Confirm you are correct lol. I am so *not* self-sufficient, but being raised upper-middle-class or higher DOES keep you out of trouble/drugs/violence/etc. or away from these sorts of influences until you are older and set you up well in other respects (e.g. parents can pay for a great education). When my husband and I would have kids (if we do), our personal view is a mix is good so they can learn better to be self-reliant, but also so that I can pay for their healthcare needs for example
I’ve had two happy healthy perfect kids after 30. Hoping to have my third in my late 30s. Happens all the times. Odds are lower, but far from impossible. Many many many women have babies in their 30s, me included.
I'm almost 31, have pcos, been single most of the time and was ready to have kids as soon as I was a grown up... I always wanted to have kids... but life happened... so I found myself in a relationship when I was 21 and really hoped I'd be pregnant... that relationship didn't last... I tried to focus more on other things and tried not to think about having kids.... (which of course didn't work) I came out as transgender because I just couldn't keep it inside any longer. I tried to figure out how I could have kids as a single person before I started my transition, but in Germany it's really difficult... so life was more important than expensive foreign fertility centers and because of pcos and life in general things got messed up and things got worse for me mentally so I started my transition which took another 3 years (with lots of waiting)... duringthese 3 years I got a new job and started my own small business.... then I decided to stop taking hormones to start my journey to have a baby... that was last year... well seems like pcos is still trying to make my life harder... I haven't had any cycle since I started hormones back in 2020... even though I stopped last year and my doctor said it's that pcos... I will try this thing called Myo Inositol... which apparently seems to work well with pcos... I'll see... I still wait for the next ovulation (everything else is planned out... got an donor and all that nice stuff... the only thing I'm waiting for is ovulation) but I guess my future family is shrinking... (I wanted to have 5-ish kids) or I gotta have them close together... (I also signed myself up to adopt a kid but there are only slim chances here... or very expensive foreign possibilities)
I can't wait to have kids. I'm going to have to actively start going out more and trying to meet the next man. I'm a young widow in my early 30s with no kids YET.
Nat, question for you please - Im turning 35 and unmarried and currently taking care of my mom; kids haven’t been on my mind, but what advice can you give IF I were to think about having biological kids in the next 6-8 years? Is the process of freezing eggs important? Thanks
Agree that women should understand the risks as they make decisions about when to try to have kids, but it’s also not true that any individual woman WILL have trouble getting pregnant later in life. All the doomsday messaging can lead people to overestimate the risk of having kids later, and that has its own negative implications.
Every menstruating person will reach an infertility if they live long enough to reach menopause. Some people enter menopause earlier then others but it happens to all.
Doctor I m a radiation healthcare worker … 34 years trying to conceive… 1 failed IUI and IVF …is there any fear of infertility due to radiation exposure ? How do I work out this problem?
How soon can I take prenatales before TTC? I’m currently have the copper IUD in place… I plan to get it removed early next year. I’m 22 and soon getting married !
Hi my name is Rachel and I'm 45 and I've married for 24 years and I was wondering I the kids my husband had was she carrying my kids and am I their biological mother... from Rachel
You need to be ready to to have kids, what if you don’t have a job or boyfriend/ husband? Lol people have kids when they are ready and willing to, that’s my opinion
I researched this same question and the result is always higher at 30 to 35. At that time your body might release more eggs than usual following up to menopause. So chances of pregnancy lower with age the chances of twins increases
I'd recommend that both partners bring a minimum of $50K to the table before the first child is born and preferably several times that as you'll need it for 20sh years of raising a child into adulthood. If you're at odds with your partner at this point than it sounds better to go your own separate ways imo
This is really sad to watch. I wanted a big family since 15 and now in my late 20s finally found a man who wants the same. I hope and pray for 8-10 kids but I know it's likely not in my future.
I was told that I'm to young to have a child But I am just turning 19 but is that to young? I don't know why. I'm only 3 months from turning 19 and I having a strong desire to have a child but I don't know if I should l. Anyone have any advice ☺️
I've recently just turned 18 but I've been thinking of having kids since 16 or 17. Part of me really wants kids but the other part feels like I'm too young. There's alot to think about like costs and Healthcare, also medical bills for if you give birth in the hospital. The list goes on and on. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who's really young yet still wants kids tho. If I'm honest there's no "correct advice" to give for every female, it really depends on your life and you personally. I can't give the best advice but maybe others can help the both of us figuring out what to do. Maybe we are a little too young right now.
As far as age goes any age below twenty or above forty is not a good age to have children. But other factors play a huge role into who should be having children and who should not.
@@douche8980 so if the requirements are met, like decent home life and good income, you think around 22-25 is a good age to start? I want to have children early so I'm still active and can take care of them well. I do plan on getting married first tho.
@@cassyrogue7879 as far as age goes if both partners are between twenty and forty years or age than I see no issue based on that criteria alone but there are other factors which need to be addressed such as savings and annual income among the most important which is the mental health of both parents while raising the child(ren).
VHEMT volunteer today before it's too late.. have you ever wanted to make a good difference in the world? Well you can by simply not being shelfish and choosing not to breed
It’s not always up to just you to decide when to have kids. I married at 22 and then had my husband refuse to have kids with me. He kept having excuses and putting it off. I then divorced him and then my new partner didn’t want kids right away either. I was ok waiting a bit but then he cheated. So I waited for nothing. I finally met a man who actually wanted kids. Now 33 and pregnant with first child. I wanted to have kids 10 years ago. But wasn’t with a willing partner. Sadly
I’m 26 and this has been my experience. I’ve been ready since 22 but haven’t been with a man who is ready. My boyfriend who I’ve been with for 1.5 years says he is open to starting to try in another 1.5 years. I’ve always wanted 4 babies, so I’m hoping I’ll have an easy chance doing that starting at 28.
My mom fell pregnant very easily at 34, but my dads side of the family struggled with infertility so I’m a bit nervous
Aww sis, well I know how awaited this child is then. Good luck!!! And congrats!
Make him commit by a marriage proposal. Don’t wait too long.
You are a very beautiful and smart woman. You should dated me. I am very much ready for a family.
@@ClaireAyers , marry me. We will have babies in days.
I’m actually tearing up. I’m in the process of completing my PhD (still early in the program) and am constantly going back and forth about when the right time is, I appreciate you making this video so so much.
A general rule is both partners should always be between twenty and forty years of age with savings in the 6 figures and little to no history of mental or physical illness for the healthiest children.
@@douche8980 🤦♀️ Well that sounds a bit like eugenics. People want to have a family whether they are perfect or not.
@@douche8980 So what you’re telling me is a person at the age of 35 with a Bachelor’s Degree that makes a decent living, however does NOT have a savings in the 6 figures… More like $10,000 in savings is not adequate for having a baby? Interesting.
@@brendaarteaga2664 no, that is but my opinion. I'm talking about the ideal situation for having kids. I'm of talking about mandatory rules though.
@@brendaarteaga2664 I would actually change the age to 3O give or take 5 years since that seem to be young enough where issues won't occur with sperm and egg plus most people are more established then. Savings is more important than monthly or annual income since jobs can be lost at the drop of a hat while savings can last year's and sometimes decades.
I was married at 20 and had my first child a month before I turned 22. I still had a semester of my undergraduate studies left, and so did my husband. We were taking 17 credits each and both working part time. We felt it was the right time even despite the challenges because there would never be a "perfect time." I now work full-time from home with our two children (3 and 18 months) while also trying to launch a writing career, while my husband works outside of the home. It's definitely no cakewalk, but I would never change our decision. Our kids are the best part of our life, and while our dreams are coming a little bit slower, we're still working on them. And the fact that our kids get to share in our successes and failures and learn firsthand what hard work looks like has turned out to be a pretty cool thing. Of course, I'm very blessed with my job and to be able to work with flexible hours, but I think anyone can make having a family work at any time if that's what they want. We don't even have family nearby to help with the kids and we make it work really well for us!
You guys are so dumb 💀🫵 focus on yourself first and be the best version of yourself at the top then start on that
So stupid 🫵🫵🤦♂️
🤦♂️🤦♂️😂🫵
@@michellelrobison 🚩🚩🤡
Thank you so much for this! I’m turning 30 in a couple months and will be 30 when my first is born. Insane to think about my life trajectory thus far- I didn’t plan this pregnancy but it happened when I was two years deep into the mindset of being a wife and mom. And the fact that it’s happening right at 30 was NOT in the “plan” but I had dreams I was focused on, not goals- especially when it comes to partnership and babies I think goals are cute but the reality is we have to surrender to life itself for these things to happen, so the order of life actualizing is all over the place even outside of kids for me. I believe this is the best timing for this to happen for me even though it was unexpected. I’ve been in my flexible career for over a decade now and have always kept life and my schedule open to new things. This chapter is beyond exciting and overwhelming. It’s bringing me closer to my bigger purpose, to the life I always envisioned for myself. Bless everyone afraid of becoming a mom, I feel you now more than ever. We women are so resilient.
For perspective my mother had me at 36. After me she had my little sister at 39 and had complications that put both her and my sis close to their death beds, she ended up being one month premature. She did have preexisting issues but having a baby at 39 she was really pushing it. She also had a miscarriage right before me.
I loved this video! I'm 29 and my fiance and I started talking about it before the pandemic (when I was 28) and we have put it off so I'm not high risk which has made both of us sad. I found this video so comforting and reassuring!!
I’m so glad!!
I'm 29, happily married, but I really can't make my mind up if I want to have kids or not. Some days, like today, I have a strong desire to have kids and would be ready to stop by birth control and start trying right away...other days I want to be like my Aunt Ellie and never have kids and travel the world instead. I've been waiting to feel a consistent feeling, one way or the other, before I decide but it's just not happening. I keep going back and forth. And I don't know if that should be my sign that I'm not ready for kids...maybe I'm too selfish.
Pros:
- I've always wanted to experience pregnancy
- I love babies
- I don't want to regret not having kids later in life
- I want to see my husband as a dad
- I want to give my child the environment I didn't have growing up
Cons:
- I have needle phobia and still haven't managed a blood test
- I am a selfish person. I enjoy being able to sit around not having to do anything for anyone
- I have anxiety issues as well as neurodivergence and my mental health may suffer
- maybe it would be different with my own kid, but I don't like most children between the ages of 3 - 16...
- My husband and I both use medical marijuana.
- I have sleep apnea and already get terrible sleep
- I would rather be a stay at home mom, but my job pays more than my husband's and we need it to survive. We also just recently got into a good financial swing of things and I don't want to jeopardize that.
- All our friends/family who have had kids ended up breaking up or divorcing...I don't want to wreck our marriage
Right time to have children is when you actually have time for your children and are physically, mentally and financially ready to have children. Doesn't matter what age you are, but keep in mind the older we get the more difficult it is to conceive. Yeszir
Age matters as having kids in your teens or 40s is usually not a good idea but nature carves out a twenty year age bracket for normal healthy people to reproduce whenever they are ready and or course many other factors exist as to whether folk should even have kids at all other than age.
@@douche8980 🥰🥰
woman pretty much physically can't get pregnant anymore after around 40, so yes, age matters alot!
@@ladev91not completely true my gran had her last child at 42 and she was also a smoker
I’ve had my friends have their first babies at 40.they are healthy as they wanted to build foundations first before they had kids, so I’m just praying I’m one of them in not 40 yet but close to it whatever happens, it’s god will I pray I become a mum one day
Turned 27 last month, deinfitely considering getting pregnant late this year so I can be a mom at 28.
Did it happen Brittany? I’m 27 and just found out I’m pregnant by surprise. I’m nervous!
@@mirandabug Yes!! I got pregnant this March, and I'm due Dec 10th. Currently 34w and really looking forward to meeting baby
@@dancebrittany23how did it go?
Natalie, You are just incredible. I've only just recently discovered your videos after questioning whether (at 34 almost 35) I need to freeze my eggs.
I want a baby but my physical health isn't great right now. I'm desperate to be a mum and have my own genetic children but the advice, even from my own GP over here in England is delivered in a cold and confusing way and has been stressing me out and making me upset.
I've binge watched so many of your videos over the last few days and I feel calmer, more knowledgeable and just better all round. I've learnt more from your videos than in my 6 visits to the fertility hospital.
So thank you so much. What a wonderful, caring and beautiful lady you are, if only all doctors could be like you
@@jaysonwells1079 No, not just yet
This is so comforting and reassuring! I just turned 30 and have been thinking on and off when should my husband and i genuinely sit down and start thinking and planning! This made me feel so much better and that " im running out of time" feeling has eased up thank you .
30s is actually an ideal time for having children and for a man of this age bracket this is much easier to attain but women can give birth in this decade too only their egg count and quality of eggs usually goes down as they get older.
Hoping you have a baby or pregnant now. Don’t wait woman. Not matter the age nor busyness in life. We are never ready. We learn by and during the process. Just think a about it. How much plans we do in life. Give it to God. But actively do your part of growing your family.
@@sushibowl9707i want to at least have a house. I am still renting and saving for my downpayment, it may take me two more years to buy my house. I am 31 years old and already thinking about all of this
Love the advice of not avoiding the question just because it is scary! We certainly do that as women with careers Nat.
We are so bad at avoiding things we on't like! Agree!!
It is a feeling, which I started to feel 6 months ago or so? It is unexplainable, so I told my boyfriend, he was shocked and needed to process it. I gave him time. We live to together almost 5 years, and have everything to accommodate children. Since a month or so, we set the agreement together that we do whatever we want and not preventing it. It is not in an obsessive way, with ovulationtests. I only do have the flo app, just to track when my period will be. We will see if there will a baby soon or that it is just not our time yet..
some of these options require money a lot of us don't have. I wanted a kid at 24 but I wasn't in an appropriate relationship until 10 years later. I'm glad that I didn't back then. Sure I'll be delivering at 34 but that's fine with me. I hope that I'll have another in a couple years. 2 is my limit.
I don't want to be insensitive but I 32 and 33 is not even an advance maternal age. I think we should be informed- yes, but I somehow sense this underlying notion of panic if one hasn't birthed couple of kids by 30. And while it's an extremely sensitive subject, if one doesn't have emotional, financial and social means to have kids imho it's better not to.
What do you mean by social means?
The problem is when people plan to have children at 32 or 33 and then only find out they have fertility issues when they start trying. You hit that age, try for a child, but it can take years from that point to conceive. So although 32 isn't an advanced maternal age, things have to go very smoothly to have a baby when you planned it.
I love the honesty in this video
Thank you for this video! I am 28, have a job in corporate America and wanting multiple kids. Because of the job loss of my husband we have put having kids on pause. This video def is an eye opener and I am going to ask my doctor about the blood test you mentioned! I want to be prepared if we are going to have trouble conceiving and start actively making plans for the future since I have irregular periods. I also bought ovulation strips to start testing and making sure I’m actually ovulating.
I do internal medicine and you are REALLY GOOD at this! Kudos
Thank you!! ❤️
I'm turning 32 in october and I'm having major crisis over do I want kids or not. I have no idea if I'm cut out to be a mom. I have a man, but it's long distance and corona is screwing everything up, so definitely getting worried.. A friend who is the same age as me, is going to start fertility treatments because she's having lowered egg quality already. Meanwhile a friend who is few years older, got a baby on her second try.
It's not easy being a woman and feeling like you're running out of time.. Major stress and feeling like maybe I should make an appointment with my gyno just to check what my situation is and how long do I have to try..
Btw, I love how empathic you come across on your videos ❤
What did you do
@@Frietoe nothing. I got over it. I trust that what's meant to be will be.
Thank you so much for this video!! I am very young only turning 22 and already talking about ttc with my fiance next year!
You are so welcome!
I am 23 and my husband and I are having alot of trouble ttc ! Getting emotionally exhausting for the both of us and we are both considering throwing in the towel. Everyone always tells us we "have lots of time" but being told that by people who haven't felt with fertility issues is like a slap in the face. 😥
Praying for you, that God would fulfill the desire of your heart according to his will. You shall be fruitful and multiply 💕🙏 much love
The struggle is real. 😢 I feel your pain, and the waiting time and time again is the hardest part. You’re not alone.
I can deeply empathize. This is what happened to me as well at the same age. It’s extremely invalidating and feels like nobody is taking you seriously.
I waited to long now i have fertility issues .wish i wld hve just had one in my 20s...
Lol so controversial. My own mother had children late and cautions me to not wait until I’m 35 but my mother in law had kids at 45 and says wait as long as I possibly can and don’t worry about in-fertility! I’m 26 now and hubby and I feel we are not close to being ready yet
Don't wait as long as you possibly can, the available evidence is not that unclear, we have stats on fertility success at various ages. It does dip significantly in the mid-30s and rapidly accelerates after 40. You can also check your ovarian reserve at any age.
The older you get the closer to death you are... 😅 Just have them asap if you can afford it
Wow 45 you mother law that’s amazing I pray I have kids soon 😊
Your content is so helpful and relatable! I am so grateful a good friend shared your channel with me 😊 I am finishing my Masters program, work full time and was recently diagnosed with PCOS. My husband and I have begun the journey of trying to conceive and the information you are sharing and your ability to share your own personal story means so much to me. Thank you so much!!!!
How did it go?? Hope you’re doing okay!
I'm glad I had my daughter at 20 now im 29 almost 30 and i feel its not the right time (im in a new relationship) and we talked about having a baby in a year more o less and then another one 2 years later and thats it haha ❤ hopefully everything goes fine.
I want kids more than anything, I’ve wanted kids since I was 13/14, & I still want kids, meanwhile I’m only 17 😅 I’m afraid of suffering infertility & especially from endometriosis... I know it gets worse as you age... I just want to raise up my own kids, show them what life is really about, teach them to be kind, share myself & my life with them...
@@theultimatereductionist7592 Fuck off you weirdo. Want a vasectomy? Don't want kids? Have your tubes tied or stop having sex. Don't try and force your freakish ideas on other people.
I got diagnosed with PCOS and Endo the same week I was pregnant (according to my LMP). It's possible. This is my very first pregnancy. It's been easy and had no morning sickness. Baby is doing fine and I'm 33 weeks pregnant right now but because Im overweight and have PCOS I have to take blood pressure meds and got gestational diabetes. It's not scary but it's manageable and it goes away after pregnancy. My advice coming from having a young parent is to get your fertility checked, get a career or good job, make sure you can provide a stable and living environment, and do this at an age that makes sense to you. Nothing worse than being young and unstable. So many in their 20s have careers, and are generally stable have kids but it's not very common. Unfortunately it took me to be 34 but it's okay. Good luck to you!
Go.and have kids later
My mom got gave birth to my brother at 47, and my brother is 20 and already studding his master.
This was so helpful! I’m 24, want a big family (4/5 kids) so I should maybe get started sooooon😅😍💕
@@reformedchinesecommunist combined income & a whole lot of Jesus
Thank you for this video. I found it reassuring as I’m waiting for a laparoscopy (delayed courtesy of the pandemic) and living in the period of unknown in the meantime is difficult. Thank you for being calming and reassuring. I really appreciate it.
Thank you so much dr Crawford. I’ve watched many of your videos and they are so informative. Good on you for educating and empowering women.
Awesome information! Everyone hears 35, and it will be harder to have a kid. Yes making it a goal to have a plan for kids would be very helpful to have more couples become parents. I am curious how long should it take to have baby 2 at 33? I hope to have 4 kids.
pls adopt 3 kids instead of polluting the planet more
I had a miscarriage in 2014 when I was 27, now I’m 35 🥺
Me here because I’m graduating high school and starting my next chapter in life college ❤
Don’t have a partner to even take this question seriously but I want kids like yesterday 😅 but am I ready for them financially? NOPE. Unless I have an inheritance in process I can’t even seriously consider procreation. Children are expensive and deserve the best.
egg freezing is an option (still expensive, but not as much as kids). sending love.
I mean...I agree (and this is just my own musings and not at all trying to impose my opinion on you!), but also I do think people feel these days that children need to be basically raised in luxury. I don't personally agree...I think if you are financially prepared to provide for their basic needs and education, as well as keep yourself out of dire financial emergencies, I think this is fine. I'm not sure raising children with the best of everything really prepares them to be self-sufficient.
@@vanderbam2741 As a child who was raised with everything & married a man who was not as a child, I Can Confirm you are correct lol. I am so *not* self-sufficient, but being raised upper-middle-class or higher DOES keep you out of trouble/drugs/violence/etc. or away from these sorts of influences until you are older and set you up well in other respects (e.g. parents can pay for a great education). When my husband and I would have kids (if we do), our personal view is a mix is good so they can learn better to be self-reliant, but also so that I can pay for their healthcare needs for example
This is a great video. Thank you
Glad you liked it!
What about when a women had an early menstruation. Like at 9 years old.
Thank you for this❤️
I’m 29 and keep hearing once 30 it’s harder and that scares me is that really tryeb
Me too
Same
It’s not always true. My sister is 34 and expecting a healthy baby boy with no birth or genetic defects
I’ve had two happy healthy perfect kids after 30. Hoping to have my third in my late 30s. Happens all the times. Odds are lower, but far from impossible. Many many many women have babies in their 30s, me included.
Sorry doc I don’t believe 35 is the target age…I think it’s depending on so many things aside from age…
What 20-year old can afford to freeze their eggs these days? Wish I had known this in my 20-ies anyway. :(
I'm almost 31, have pcos, been single most of the time and was ready to have kids as soon as I was a grown up...
I always wanted to have kids... but life happened... so I found myself in a relationship when I was 21 and really hoped I'd be pregnant... that relationship didn't last... I tried to focus more on other things and tried not to think about having kids.... (which of course didn't work)
I came out as transgender because I just couldn't keep it inside any longer.
I tried to figure out how I could have kids as a single person before I started my transition, but in Germany it's really difficult... so life was more important than expensive foreign fertility centers and because of pcos and life in general things got messed up and things got worse for me mentally so I started my transition which took another 3 years (with lots of waiting)... duringthese 3 years I got a new job and started my own small business.... then I decided to stop taking hormones to start my journey to have a baby... that was last year... well seems like pcos is still trying to make my life harder... I haven't had any cycle since I started hormones back in 2020... even though I stopped last year and my doctor said it's that pcos...
I will try this thing called Myo Inositol... which apparently seems to work well with pcos... I'll see...
I still wait for the next ovulation (everything else is planned out... got an donor and all that nice stuff... the only thing I'm waiting for is ovulation)
but I guess my future family is shrinking... (I wanted to have 5-ish kids) or I gotta have them close together...
(I also signed myself up to adopt a kid but there are only slim chances here... or very expensive foreign possibilities)
I can't wait to have kids. I'm going to have to actively start going out more and trying to meet the next man. I'm a young widow in my early 30s with no kids YET.
Nat, question for you please - Im turning 35 and unmarried and currently taking care of my mom; kids haven’t been on my mind, but what advice can you give IF I were to think about having biological kids in the next 6-8 years? Is the process of freezing eggs important? Thanks
Freeze them shits asap quite frankly it might be too late, and your unmarried? Yeah idk
Thank you for your videos! They are soo informative..I'm 33 and I'm considering getting my eggs frozen.
You are so welcome!
Agree that women should understand the risks as they make decisions about when to try to have kids, but it’s also not true that any individual woman WILL have trouble getting pregnant later in life. All the doomsday messaging can lead people to overestimate the risk of having kids later, and that has its own negative implications.
Every menstruating person will reach an infertility if they live long enough to reach menopause. Some people enter menopause earlier then others but it happens to all.
Omg!! I lobe your videos!!!
YAY!!! Thank you!
Doctor I m a radiation healthcare worker … 34 years trying to conceive… 1 failed IUI and IVF …is there any fear of infertility due to radiation exposure ? How do I work out this problem?
the video was very helpful
Thank you so much for this video! You have no idea how much you have just helped me feel secure in my decision.
What was the reason for your losses if you don’t mind sharing?
How soon can I take prenatales before TTC? I’m currently have the copper IUD in place… I plan to get it removed early next year. I’m 22 and soon getting married !
Any update? Did copper coil affect fertility? Xx
Wish I could have you as my doc.. 😑😑
I do virtual consults! People travel!
brilliant video
Glad you enjoyed it
Great video.
Hi my name is Rachel and I'm 45 and I've married for 24 years and I was wondering I the kids my husband had was she carrying my kids and am I their biological mother... from Rachel
Im already 34. very hard to get pregnat..what should i do..my vitamin is myra e, folic acid,vitamin c and vitamin B12 it is ok for me??
Might wanna look into changing your diet and maybe exercising a little a lot of pregnancy issues boil down to our own health problems.
You need to be ready to to have kids, what if you don’t have a job or boyfriend/ husband? Lol people have kids when they are ready and willing to, that’s my opinion
I want twins. What's your advice doc?
I researched this same question and the result is always higher at 30 to 35. At that time your body might release more eggs than usual following up to menopause. So chances of pregnancy lower with age the chances of twins increases
Why it's never "do you even want kids"?
What if you want a kid and your husband does too but is afraid of not having enough money ??
I'd recommend that both partners bring a minimum of $50K to the table before the first child is born and preferably several times that as you'll need it for 20sh years of raising a child into adulthood. If you're at odds with your partner at this point than it sounds better to go your own separate ways imo
This is really sad to watch. I wanted a big family since 15 and now in my late 20s finally found a man who wants the same. I hope and pray for 8-10 kids but I know it's likely not in my future.
Hi, how are you doing, are you pregnant?
@@Nostalgia18 We've now been married for 1 month and I'm not pregnant yet (we waited til marriage since we're Catholic). Praying for a child 😔
egg quality is always the same if you are balanced,
Does sperm dies when you pee after sex?
@@jaysonwells1079 yes almost 2 years now
I was told that I'm to young to have a child
But I am just turning 19 but is that to young?
I don't know why. I'm only 3 months from turning 19 and I having a strong desire to have a child but I don't know if I should l.
Anyone have any advice ☺️
I've recently just turned 18 but I've been thinking of having kids since 16 or 17. Part of me really wants kids but the other part feels like I'm too young. There's alot to think about like costs and Healthcare, also medical bills for if you give birth in the hospital. The list goes on and on. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who's really young yet still wants kids tho. If I'm honest there's no "correct advice" to give for every female, it really depends on your life and you personally. I can't give the best advice but maybe others can help the both of us figuring out what to do. Maybe we are a little too young right now.
As far as age goes any age below twenty or above forty is not a good age to have children. But other factors play a huge role into who should be having children and who should not.
@@douche8980 so if the requirements are met, like decent home life and good income, you think around 22-25 is a good age to start? I want to have children early so I'm still active and can take care of them well. I do plan on getting married first tho.
@@cassyrogue7879 as far as age goes if both partners are between twenty and forty years or age than I see no issue based on that criteria alone but there are other factors which need to be addressed such as savings and annual income among the most important which is the mental health of both parents while raising the child(ren).
@@douche8980 thank you, this helps alot
Never
please give us a break with this wording aging, old is something else i have forgotten?
VHEMT volunteer today before it's too late.. have you ever wanted to make a good difference in the world? Well you can by simply not being shelfish and choosing not to breed
KIDS SUCK!!!!