I have so much respect for the first OP: he's practically a child himself, but he managed to find strength and resources to save his little sister. wow
Honestly, the thing that haunts me most about the story is that this little girl was probably sexually assaulted multiple times considering that she was, "sold off to be married."
I'm just hoping she wasn't molested... My heart is heavy for OP and his sister. I hope they return to their first country, and leave that sick mother as well... Horrible mother, father and grandfather
@@aclaymushroomwithaberet7084 that "distant family" wasn't actually their family, RSlash read it wrong. It was the family of another reddit user that he stayed with while all crap went down. They were strangers that took him in for a while. Not family at all, but yeah I agree. That family would've been the better choice. The mum is equally to blame here, she could've done something to stop it but didn't.
Props to OP for not letting his family turn him into a golden child. His sister is so lucky to have him. Also, I can't completely say the mom is blameless here. No, she wasn't the one who sold her daughter off, but she still did nothing once she found out, and kept up the lie.
Do you know how unhinged Asian grandparents are its very clear they threatened her with death or worse being sold to human trafficking Asians like this grandmother are legit psychos
I was already disgusted that his sister was sold into marriage (basically sexual slavery), but it hit waaaayyy harder when I remembered she's only a 9 YEAR OLD CHILD! I'm so glad that op fought to find and protect his sister, and I hope she fully recovers mentally, emotionally, etc.
When I heard they sold her into marriage, it was like a record scratch in my head, like, "hold up, am I remembering the sisters age wrong?" So I went back. I was horrified & felt sick to my stomach when I saw that, no, I was remembering it correctly. That poor girl. I hope she gets therapy and that the kids & mom can move back to the States.
I can’t imagine how traumatized OP‘s little sister must be from all this. I’m glad she’s doing OK. I hope their mom is able to get the sister signed up for therapy.
@@ThegreatestVN I don’t know, but the mom owes the sister that much for what she had to go through. Maybe the mom was forced to keep her mouth shut once she knew about it, it wasn’t exactly clear unless there was something I missed. But if she voluntarily kept her mouth shut about it, then she most definitely should have faced consequences as an accessory.
Looks like what ever country they are in pardoned the mom because op states they still needed a mother (both minors) and she didn't know until much later. I'm so curious to know what country this all went down in
I can’t stop thinking about how many kids aren’t as lucky to have a brother like the 1st OP to get help. So sad. I think even the mom should be held accountable to some extent
@@RunicSigils the post literally said that the mom was exempt cause they still needed a parent,I wouldnt br surprised to hear that those two left as soon as they could
@@BeefMeisterSupreme The west has infected everything. Men were the ones awarded the children in patriarchal societies. Feminism flip flopped that and pushed to remove responsibility from women. (Yes, I know it's ironic since they complain about it now. But that's how ideologies work - you no longer have a job if your goals are actually met.) SK has had a feminist cult, China has considered itself feminist for like 90 years, and Japan is slowly becoming more and more American because they refuse to stop pandering to them. Being Asian unfortunately isn't a prevention for western feminism.
The second story, he wasn't ever a "good guy" with one weird quirk about snacks. He was a sociopath who had a submissive partner who allowed all but one of his controlling behaviors. He didn't "forget" that they were your snacks, he did it deliberately as a sign of control. He 'flipped out' because you stopped allowing it, which is the biggest offense to controlling sociopaths. This is what makes people like him scary, he 'seemed' kind and caring but it was him masking for his control fixation.
I think you might be right. If it was just a 'I'm sorry I got carried away eating' he wouldn't care if it was in a lock box or mite have even been GLAD have to not worry about getting carried away.
9 years old. 9. Years. Old. Thank gods he saved her, probably one of the best older siblings ever. Genuinely upset about the favoritism when he was favorited instead of becoming some spoiled monster, to proving himself to be more responsible than the “adults” I’m so proud of these siblings.
Yeah, exactly. She hasn't even hit puberty yet but they married her off! No wonder she's traumatized. What sick, sick people. And the favoritism was all because of something as uncontrollable as chromosomes. The dad and grandma deserve to rot in a third-world prison. The mom too, if she knew what was going on, though there's a possibility she didn't.
It's common in China, they will wait to get them married when they grow up, there isn't alot of women in China so every parent asks for at least 50,000 at the lowest.
Second story: initially I was wondering if the bf maybe had an ED or something, but after OP broke up with him and we saw the backlash I'm 100% sure he's a narc showing his true colours. The love bombing, the hoovering, the pity-baiting, OP dodged a bullet tbh.
Evidence points to him having a steroids addiction, roids doesn't just change your adrenaline and behavior, it also boost your metabolism, which is why he's going all of his snacks, and is still hungry and was helping himself to OP's snacks
@@Josh_the_jester Sigh. So, they shoot your liver, castrate you, affect your brain AND make you binge in unhealthy snacks. Roids sure do a LOT for you. Or is it TO you?
First Story: I can’t stand people who play favorites. Also, this family is insane to treat this girl like this is horrible. What they did to OP’s sister is absolutely awful. Woooow, they really sold OP’s sister to get married?! These people are horrible people. I’m so glad OP found their sister Second Story: Why is he being so selfish? Why is OP’s boyfriend being like this over snacks? It isn’t fair for him to take OP’s half of the snacks. Honestly this guy is showing his true colors and it was all over snacks and a lock box. I’m glad OP got rid of this guy Third Story, NTA but that plot twist was insane. Lmao I’m not going to lie I wasn’t expecting that ending
This is a VERY common practice in China where there is a huge gender discrepancy. The older generations (especially those born around or just after WW2) still see marriage as an economic decision rather than a social one. And the moment that I heard that they were half Asian and half White, I already knew. The practice of bringing your American kids back to China to marry them off for boys and girls is much higher than you think. The bride price for someone of this mix (due to higher probability of lighter skin) is very high and in recent years, with China's increase in wealth, that number is even higher. I wouldn't be surprised if the family received around six figures USD for the daughter. But, it is worse for the girls who are often sold to stay in China as they are supposed to become housewives. However, in reality, many end up in abusive situations where they are repeatedly violated by their arranged partner and locked inside the house so they don't escape.
Story1: "My mom said it's cultural" god I hate people using "culture" as an excuse. It's even worse than "but FAMILY". If you're culture is abusing people, in this case women, for generations, then its trash. The amount of vile things done to people because of "culture", "tradition", "religion" etc. is appalling. Damn, this story almost had me in tears. The cruelty.
cheer up and thing of one of the very few things the English Empire did well: they built galloes besides funeral pyres in india, so that whoever thought it was a good idea to burn the widow alive with the deceased, would be hanged on the spot. And the brilliant reply to "but it's a part of our culture" was "yeah, and in our culture we hang muderers to death".
Shits been going for centuries. Women have and continue to be used as chattle. Still in so many countries if a woman or girl is killed or violated, no one is brought to justice. Girls are still not educated. They have no rights. In the US we get a smattering of it, think Roe v Wade. It wasn't that long ago that crap like this also happened in the US.
I agree and I’m Mexican and in Mexico there’s similar ideals. My grandmother adored her sons and treated them like kings while she really hated their daughters, my mom the worst. My mom was severely abused by her mother and was forced to be a slave for the family and she often did her older brothers chores. But the thing I’m confused about is why the mom would say that, from the story most likely the dad is the Asian parent and the mom is the American one. That’s she seem okay with what the grandma was doing to her young daughter. So my guess is that maybe the dad is secretly abusive (mentally or emotionally) or manipulated the mom into thinking this is okay. Since she knew about the marriage until later and still didn’t offer help, then again most likely she was on her own since she was in a different country and had no connections to her family. I think maybe she was trapped and didn’t know what to do, since if the dad can easily sold his daughter off what does he do to his wife? Seems out of nowhere he did this if he didn’t have a history of abuse, maybe OP didn’t notice it or it’s behind closed doors. It’s like what my mom suffered with my American dad who was emotionally, mentally, and financially abusive with my mom and neglectful with me and my younger brother (and I thought that was normal). I think there’s more to the story but since OP is young he doesn’t know or didn’t see it.
Oh absolutely, at least with "But Family" cases. As soon you cut ties with those assholes, the freer you are. The "But Culture/tradition/religion/honour/etc." cases is a lot more difficult. It doesn't matter how you live, you can be the next Mr. Rogers or Bob Ross of the world. If someone doesn't like you, they make some way to sound like you kick puppies for fun, and tell the while town about it. Which no one is allowed to defend you or cast doubt on the accuser. I mean, why should I celebrate your culture/tradition/religion/honour/etc. when most of the time, its used against me and/or other people?
That brotherin the first story who fought to find his sister is a hero. His sister will never forget what he did for her. Also, that reddit person who helped her too. Bless their family for saving that child.
Story 1: Grandma driving off with sister sent chills down my spine, as I have heard stories of girls being sold into brothels this way. Glad OP got reunited.
I can think of several countries that a 9-YEAR-OLD can be sold off for marriage. And I don’t even want to think about what happens to girls in that situation. It actually reminds me of a story from a few years back where the OP found one of his sisters being assaulted by an older male relative and he took both of them away. I hope this OP does the same when he’s able to.
his youngest sister ("Liza") will be a teenager now but from what I heard from the story "Amy" got a dog from "potato" and a collection of stuffed animals
for the second story, my guess is that this 'perfect guy' was trying to test the waters of control with the food, but she cracked down on it and he didn't like that. he was desperate for longterm control, and she nipped it in the bud. possibly mixed with roidrage, but idk
Usually this type of stuff suggests they don't respect boundaries in general. However, he normally respects her boudaries. He only reacted to the food. I think he has food trauma. I'm not sure how, what or why. He might have an eating disorder as well. He especially flipped out over the box so not being able to get his food fix sent him over the edge. It must be some sort of addiction to food control.
*First OP:* Unbelievable. I hope OP's dad and grandmother get the most severe punishment. I'm glad his sister is okay, and I hope she gets therapy. *Second OP:* Good thing OP's ex showed his true colors when he did. As for Lockbox Gate: I'm wondering if OP's ex had food insecurity growing up, and that's why he's freaking out over a lockbox. It could _explain_ his outburst, but it definitely doesn't _excuse_ it. *Third OP:* Aw, now I feel bad for OP's boyfriend! I'm glad things worked out for the two of them, but OP's boyfriend should put the cat owner's account on blast so no one else will fall for that scam.
I know we are all civilized n sh!t, but I think we should string these people up and let them dangle for a few days as an example. We can even live-stream it.
Story 1: What's truly tragic is that OP's sister is alive and safe, but she is clearly NOT OK. OP noted that she doesnt talk much. She may live with trauma for the rest of her life because of her disgusting family. People seem to want to give the mother a pass, but she didn't do anything to get her daughter back. Hopefully when the daughter is an adult she ghosts everyone but her brother, the only decent one of them. Oh, and gets a ton of therapy.
I suspect it was more about controlling her in smaller ways, to build up to bigger means of control. That, or he wanted OP to stay slim or lose weight, so he was manipulating her food to control her body.
Second story: I wonder if maybe the guy had an eating disorder earlier in life and his family had took it to a near abusive level when trying to get him healthier. Something like locking away all the food and only letting him have a minimum amount for meals and no snacks. Which once he was on his own became inverted where he wanted/needed to compulsively eat snacks because he'd been denied so long. Then the lock box shows up major PTSD trigger he snaps and can't bring himself to explain the horrible things that had happened growing up.
Thank goodness OP1 had such fantastic support, I hope he and his sister are doing okay. My theory for story 2 is the ex-bf was denied snacks as discipline as a kid or was neglected/abused via being denied food. Since he hasn't dealt with that, it becomes a hot-button for a huge hecking meltdown! Glad you got away OP, you set a boundary and he got violent with property, then got extremely angry, then detached, then love-bombed. This all would have happened sooner or later over something else if not for this.
For the snack story, that's pretty much exactly what I was thinking. Although, I am also wondering if he has undiagnosed underlying mental health issues. Before I was getting treated properly for my condition, I was a very volitile. It came to a point where I could feel my brain changing, I know that sounds weird but I'll stand by that. Eventually, I had a horrible outburst. I didn't hurt anybody (although at one point I did hurt myself). Once I started getting treated correctly, I began to feel like myself again. I'm wondering if he may have some kind of issue he needs help with. That doesn't excuse his actions, but it could very possibly be a sign of something serious. Mental illness can genuinely change you as a person, and having trauma or abuse in your background as well will only exacerbate that.
In the 1st story, I really hope the sister gets therapy, not just for the abandonment, but if she was sold off to get MARRIED then I really hope nothing else horrible happened to her, but she definitely needs a lot of therapy
Story 1: That has got to be the biggest betrayal I've ever seen in months! Like, selling the kid to get married? *WHAT THE FRIDGE WERE THEY THINKING?!* Glad that the sister was found and reunited with OP. Those parents can rot
Easy answer: money. It was clear from the beginning that the grandma did not like OP's sister (stereotypical uptight Asian inlaws). My guess is she was the one who put the father up to selling her for money and he was like "ok, sure." If I had my way, human traffickers like them would be executed. They tried to destroy the life of a nine year old child, and thus taking their lives is the only proper recourse.
@@Nerobyrne nah man, it is obvious OP was staying at china. You don't marry your grandkids for direct money, for connections. Who wanna guess that dad got a new higher paying job after that? Since OP being 14 wouldn't notice the better life standard due to being stressed for his little sister.
I do not in any way believe that snack girl's relationship was actually fine beyond the snack issue. There was abuse at play that she's either overlooking or hiding. Either that or the bf is severely mentally ill with a very bizarre trigger. With the violent outbursts I really can't see that this was the only issue.
I was thinking either a food addiction or he was raised in a food restrictive house hold, mainly the later. I could see it being triggering after being an adult with your own food freedom, then seeing your partner lock food away. He may not even know what the issue is but not talking at all is not the way to handle it. Deffiniatly a mental health issue and he needs therapy.
I do believe that he has a substance abuse problem with steroids, OP did mention that he was always hungry and steroids affects you metabolism and increasing appetite, not stackish like how weed does but full blown, 6 corse meal hungry
yeah, i was wondering that too. rSlash theorised about steroids, but that doesn't really fit the trigger, imo. like, they could explain why the bf was angry enough to smash a laptop, but the fact that it was this very specific circumstance that sent him off the deep end, makes me think there's some weird mental thing going on there
Last Story. The guy admitted he was in the wrong and gave a reasonable excuse. After binging redditor stories I’m thoroughly impressed. That guys a keeper.
I'm so used to this shit spiraling faster then a Helicopter crash, That I am delighted for her and him. Communication! Apologizing! Explanation! Acting like Adults who love each ither instead of Roomates who tolerate each other! I don't know why it is so rare I have to gush over this but god damn!
That first story had me crying so hard. Words cant even begin to describe how horrible what that grabdma and the father did to that poor child. So happy to hear that op found them. Hopefully she can get some good therapy because she has to have awful trauma from it all... really hope nothing like this ever happens to her or op ever again. No child should have to go through that!!!
With how the mother was crying, how the father moved his office in OP's sister's bedroom and how OP found her stuff in the attic, I'd also have thought the worst. Mainly that they had k¡lled her. I'm SOOOO glad they were able to find her. And that redditor is a SAINT. Oh my stars, I love Reddit so damn much!
Not many people have mentioned the last story so here - That was such a heartwarming ending, I'm really glad we finally got a rich BF that wasn't a total asshole to his gf
Yeah, it seemed with the context given that it was out of character for him. I'm glad she asked what the thought process was. It's exactly what I would ask my husband since we can see the actions, but not always the heart.
Yeah, at the end I'm left wondering about people who are that wrapped up in a tiktok/yt/insta cat though? Like go to any shelter you can play with plenty of cute cats it's not like they're rare. Even if you're a sucker for a specific type like Scottish Folds or Sphinxes you can probably still find some near you to play with rather than getting scammed to see a specific one.
Yeah. Lockbox guy is a mystery. When a gem of a person becomes a nightmare allegedly with no signs or a tiny trigger like the box, something is probably out of their normal. Glad she got to safety, but I know I'd be baffled until I knew why too. Edit: Saw someone mention she might not be giving us all the details too. So to that level of dust added to the mix, all I have to say is "The world may never know."
Steroids don’t make sense. That explains the outbursts but not his obsession with the lockbox or the days of silent treatment over the lockbox. If it was just roid rage he’d throw a temper tantrum and then apologize to OP long before she broke up with him.
Lots of people here are coming to the conclusion of him having an eating disorder or food related abuse. He's only 200 pounds, that's not big for a guy that's 6'3. What concerns me the most is that she sent pictures of his meltdown to his mother. One of the people that would have had the most opportunity to abuse him and cause the DMG seen. It would be like if that grandma from the first story was given power over her granddaughter again.
@@kaynerandolph432 Yeah it seems kinda better to get a welfare check instead, making sure to say it may be drugs or a psychological issue, to see if this behaviour repeats with authority or if its just a manipulation tactic. Though the behavior and texts she mentioned, went from withholding presence or care until X, to threatening, to violent property damage, to unhinged(lockbox is still here!, after she moved out), to lovebombing, to attempts at evoking pity, and back to unhinged(pay my new rent). Like holy shit, that's the toxic handbook tossed at her, no wonder she seems kinda numb, that's what happens when life turns surreal.. also therapy might be necessary, as over time, she loses the shocked disbelief, she might find similar people or confrontational situations triggering in the ptsd sense. Also perhaps she should consult a lawyer, so there are copies of the info just in case she loses her phone or needs a restraining order.
The second story: I’m glad op is safe. it sounds really weird and like an over reaction to have a lock box, if he was in foster care that could be so triggering. He could have suppressed trauma . I still hide food in case something happens, I’m 24 and married. I have an eating disorder to, but I would never act the way he did, maybe the box triggered him and he turned to drugs?
I was the same way with being in foster care and hiding food. I still have an unhealthy relationship with food and I’m now 27. I get very triggered if my things are moved or food goes missing, and I hate myself for it but I’m getting better
@@TheKrackalack that.... that has absolutely nothing to do with this dude. Also immaturity does not at all explain why his reaction was so volatile nor is it at all any kind of excuse.
I hope when she was "supposed to get married" they were planning on waiting until she was older. But the fact that she is so quiet now makes me wonder if she was already "Married" and more.
@@akl2k7 I know, but she was 9, so I was hoping they were just planning on grooming her until she hit puberty, but her reserved reaction suggests trauma. Then again, being sold is traumatizing enough.
For the second story, I think OP's boyfriend was mad at the fact that she created a boundary. I've heard of stories where toxic people get mad or upset over people creating boundaries with them and I'm guessing that either OP had rose tinted glasses on throughout the relationship and just overlooked any red flags her boyfriend was showing or he must be the type of person that pretends to be sweet and nice until their partner is in a position where they can't get out of, like marriage or something. I bet the lockbox bothered him the most and it resulted in him "letting out the genie." Though, I have read people mentioning the possibility of steroids, which I think sounds possible as well.
Lockbox story: my theory is pretty simple. Dude has an eating disorder, she discovered/confronted it, it brought up a lot of emotion for him which he couldn't handle. He made her the problem so he doesn't have to deal with his issues. His control issues came out, he tried to manipulate her so as not to lose her, OP stood her ground and is better off. Dude needs some therapy too.
Was my thought too. IDK if it's straight up an ED but perhaps a trigger of some kind. Maybe he was denied food as punishment/abuse as a kid, so he eats things as fast as he can because his brain still functions in a "don't know if there will be food later" way (my dad has a similar issue). When he was denied food he felt the injustice of his childhood again and blew a fuse, became abusive himself. It really seems like a trauma response, dude needs therapy...
That actually makes a lot of sense. I was wondering if perhaps he has some mild and un-diagnosed form of autism, as I've seen that lead to similar out-of-the-blue meltdowns and psychotic breaks in people over the years. Though as another reply pointed out, it could also stem from some past trauma... And that's not even factoring in whether or not he was hiding something (addiction, cheating, mental/emotional complex, etc). For all we know, if could be any mix of those, or even all of the above. We might never know.
For the lockbox story, I'm wondering what his relationship with food was like growing up. The fact that he would eat so much food so quickly and reacted so extremely to the lockbox makes me think somebody locked up all the food and treated it like a reward and not a necessity. I know that's kinda extreme but that's the only reason I can possibly think of for acting like this
It genuinely does sound like an abuse/trauma thing if it isn't him being controlling. I've heard stories that former prison inmates will retain their eating habits of wolfing down food as fast as they can and watching anyone who might try to take it from them, so your theory isn't too farfetched to me.
@@sentinel7672 that's a good point, remember reading something about a father who would wait for everyone to finish eating before he would start, came from him being poor as a child and he just wanted to make sure his family had eaten enough
It does sound like a food relationship issue. And the complete 180° reactions give me the indication he needs to be checked either for a head injury or for a personality or other mental health issue disorder.
@John Stoddart my mom was like that too. She made sure all the kids in her house got food first, and then dad and her would get their share. I do that with my stepdaughter. If I'm making something separate for her, then what my husband and I are eating and mine and my husband's is done first, I won't take a bite until hers is served to her. So maybe it is a food thing with the guy? And in his panic mode, he lashed out? I mean I have heard stories from my friend that was in foster care where two of her foster siblings, a brother and sister, had a habit of hiding food in their room because their last foster home locked it away and wouldn't give them much to eat, so they were 'programmed' to hord it because they didn't know when they'd get a proper meal. Took them over a year to try and break them of that habit, and even then, it still kinda happened from time to time while they were living there.
The first story reminds me of my grandmother, although it is nowhere near as creepy. Those aware of the Great Depression in the United States will probably know that some kids were literally sold by desperate parents. My grandmother was one of them. For years our family had been told she'd been put up for adoption because her parents couldn't afford to keep her (the selling part was left out). My sister was doing some research in genealogy, and she uncovered records that suggest my grandmother had actually been sold, not just given. It was nowhere near as traumatic as OP's story. The family that bought her treated her as their own. While she didn't have the easiest life, she did have a full one. But still. It makes me wonder how many kids in the US were sold into awful situations like OP's sister.
My granddad was almost sold or put up for adoption during the Depression. His mother spent a month trying to decide which son to get rid of because she couldn’t feed both. She decided on my granddad because he was younger and couldn’t work as much to help put food on the table. He was around 8 or 9-years-old and his brother was a teenager. She started looking for a family that would basically buy him and have him work as a stablehand or do other farm chores in exchange for room and board (the “room” would probably be sleeping in the barn). But granddad doesn’t know exactly what happened, a family member stepped in to help out or something, but suddenly his mom stopped talking about selling him and they moved to a big city where his mom and brother were able to get better paying jobs. They were still poor in the city, but not don’t-know-where-the-next-meal-is-coming-from poor. And Granddad was able to go to school instead of doing farm chores. He only talked to my dad twice about that time when his mom almost sold him. He was drunk (he wouldn’t/couldn’t talk about it sober) and actually cried. The fear, isolation of being 8 and your mom saying that she’s going to have to choose which of her children to get rid of, then a week later saying she’s getting rid of you? And even if it didn’t end up happening, knowing your whole childhood that it could happen again and she could actually do it this time. It must’ve ripped away every sense of safety he had.
It is a bit different since it sounds like in your grandmothers case she was sold to be their child while in the sisters case she was sold as a wife. People don't usually have sex with their children.
@@MEB-1997 Yeah. Like I said. My family's case was nowhere near as creepy/ traumatic. However, it makes me wonder if there were kids being sold for that kind of thing in the US in the 30's. Unfortunately, it would make a lot of sense, but I'll admit I'm not a historian.
@@Arachne97 A lot of those Confederate/Union/Spanish War widows where the bride was so much younger (teens marrying old men) were similar. They married to be supported/collect the pension for taking care of the old man. Haven't heard of anyone under 15 or 16 though.
First story: The father told his son that it was a “cultural” thing. Well, it’s a cultural thing that needs to change, period! When cultural things are in conflict with moral things, then change has to happen. The rest of the civilized world knows this. To hell with “culture” if it’s an excuse to treat other humans as sub human. Disgusting! I hope the father and grandmother can now feel what being treated as less-than is like. May they stay incarcerated until they do.
Asian here. I don’t know what country OP is in, but in my country and the countries around mine (unless I’m mistaken), that sure as hell not a cultural thing. There have been a few instances in recent history (1960s+/especially 1980s) of corrupt government doing similar things (ex kidnapping random people no matter the age and putting in -concentration camps- “homeless shelters”, but the general public were not aware of the severity), but it is not a culture thing. Seeing how they got arrested, it’s not culture there either. The closest thing I can see that’s cultural (again going off of my experience of my country and limited knowledge about surrounding countries) is the emphasis on the first born, extra bonus if it’s a first-born son, but favoritism like that has been fading out and even looked down upon. Of course there’re assholes/abusers who are assholes/abusers. I doubt that that’ll ever change. Sorry if this is unorganized and hard to read. Just wanted to put my two cents out there.
Im so glad op didn’t give up and looked for his sister. There is no love quite like sibling love. That poor girl. I hope she knows how loved and worthy she is.
omg, that first story had me in tears. That poor girl!! But OP and the redditor that helped are both fantastic. Being sold to get married at NINE YEARS OLD?! I feel so bad for her.... poor, poor girl 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
Just listening to that first story and thinking about how one thing I absolutely love about Reddit is that amongst the trolls & jokes you can almost always find someone who is ready, willing & able to help you at any given moment... And the levels that some Redditers will go to to do that, is amazing. Like yes I know the world is a dark horrible place so much of the time but also, sometimes flowers grow in dung and people are good.
Second story: BULLET DODGED holy cow! He refusing to communicate with her and practically punishing her by being out of the house and having her have to guess and worry as to the truth of the situation is a huge red flag, as well as the constant apologizing for eating her food and then doing it again (he isn't really sorry), the gaslighting, and the attempt at manipulating control + love bombing after she'd dumped him
First story: I was really worried when OP was telling the story and when he said she was sold to be married I stopped what I was doing because that was a huge shock to me! I'm glad people helped OP and he's sister. I hope nothing bad happened to her in those months.
First story: Death isnt a good enough punishment for the father and grandmother. They should rot in jail for the rest of their lives. The mom should too, but It seems she got lucky. I hope OP ditches his whole family and keeps his sister safe.
Sadly, it probably won't happen. People who engage in this type of thing usually have connections. They're usually out pretty quickly (less than a year).
Personally, I disagree. Put em both down, and move on. There's always a chance, however slim, that they could break out and hunt down OP. Like people always get hung up on like making the perpetrator suffer as much as the victim has, and I don't agree with that because personally i think it shows a weird sense of attachment, unnecessarily holding onto it when you don't need to. Just pull a John Wick, put a bullet in each of them and walk away.
@@gamenut112 Agreed. Prolonged suffering isn't adequate vengeance; any perpetrator still capable of thought is still hypothetically capable of becoming a threat again. And there is no greater punishment than being immediately and abruptly denied any semblance of peace in your erasure from the material plane. As far as we currently understand, it's possible that someone dying violently and instantly could even rob them of the sensation of an afterlife. Throw them in the dirt and let them be useful for once in their despicable existences by fertilizing the soil with their corpses.
This is pertaining to the second story. To me, it sounds like OP's ex might have an eating disorder, possibly brought on by childhood trauma. Either that, or it was a controllong abuse/gaslighting OP's ex was starting with OP. There might have been other instances not related to food that OP did not realize was happening. The fact that he seemed so wonderful, but could not stop himself from eating her food points, in my mind, either compulsive issues, or purposefully eating her food so she can't have it. The fact that she made boundaries and took back control of her food set him off either way. Either he was triggered because there is food there that he can't get to, or he was pissed that *she* got to keep her food, and he could not control what she ate. Either way, the ex needs help.
Snack story: The first thing that popped in my mind was that he got into “red pill” theology, and her exercising control would be met with a show of dominating force. Whether that’s what’s going on here or not, red pill relationships break my heart for the people being subjected to such abuse.
@@persaunnaSo I looked it up, cause your question got me curious. The red pill thing comes from the movie The Matrix, in which Neo (main character) is offered a choice between two pills. The blue pill would allow him to live his quiet life in the Matrix, and believe whatever he wants to believe, but the red pill would wake him up to the real world and the truth. Basically think of the red pill as a choice to wake up to knowledge that could bring your world crashing down, while the blue pill would be choosing to live in ignorance. Not exact, but might help for frame of reference
I'm furious that op and his sister are in their mothers custody...what she participated in was Human trafficking, of her own daughter. Idgaf if she wasn't in on it until late game, she should have ran to the police when she found out.
12:40 there is one possibility missing from what is assumed could be happening... It could be that food was used as a way to control him as a young child and so he's got severe trauma from those times in his life and it could have triggered a complete total mental and emotional breakdown
not excusing the behavior of the dude in the second story but first thing i thought of this. I know someone who's mom used food as punishment. as a teenager they sometimes would go a full day without food. now as an adult they would always have extra snacks stored around the house like in closets, bedside tables, tv table drawers. the first thing you expect a parent to be is nurturing (literally) if that isn't the case the damage is almost always permanent
Violence against things/environment is a huge red flag for domestic violence. The next step is verbal threats/almost hurting you, and after that will be really hurting you. Good on OP for getting out before things escalated too far, esp considering the lovebombing/flipping between anger, love and sorrow
What the dad and grandma did was beyond horrendous but why wasn’t the mother punished for keeping this a secret for so long, yea Op and his sister need a parent but they can literally live with relatives or cousins.
Food insecurity is a genuine and primal trauma. He probably had that reaction to the fridge lockbox as an unresolved trauma from his childhood. Worth looking into.
I wonder if food insecurity or a binge disorder has something to do with the bf's meltdown. Or it could be drugs/cheating. Hell, it could even be an onset of some kind of mental disorder or a tumor changing his personality. But of course there's always the chance that OP isn't telling the whole truth and this isn't the first time he's been like this
The first story, wow. I’m so glad OP got his sister back, that grandmother and father are absolutely disgusting. They don’t deserve anything in life expect pain and the same crap they put that little girl to and so much more worse. She reminds me of my own grandmother whose also from my dads side, she never wanted me either, but wow
First story was crazy it made me tear up, I wouldn't be surprised if they make movie about it, and whoever was that redditor who helped we OP we love you, you are an amazing person
I've heard the second story a few times now, and it boggles me more and more every single time how someone could be so blatantly aggressive and greedy over FOOD. I hope he gets the help he needs because there has to be an imbalance.
Third story: while i love revenge stories, and sticking up for yourself stories, i also enjoys gems like this were they manage to communicate and figure it out.
Story 2: I doubt anything else was going on. This sounds a lot like ODD. He may have been cordial and supportive of other parts of the relationship, but as soon as he felt he was being "controlled" he changed in a way to prevent the control. So he distanced himself and set up an ultimatum. This is a really common symptom of having ODD. I would say that he is the one that needs therapy. The girlfriend was right to leave though, because ODD can be dangerous, especially because you said he got violent.
ODD? *[Googles]* Ah, "Oppositional Defiant Disorder". _A type of behavior disorder. Children with ODD are uncooperative, defiant, and hostile toward peers, parents, teachers, and other authority figures. Developmental problems may cause ODD. Or the behaviors may be learned._
@@fallenprometheus I'm pretty sure they were both paying for the food, that generally means 50/50. Thus half of the snacks are his, and half of the snacks are hers. She only locked up half of the snacks, so she denied him of HER property. Similarly he denied her her half all this time by just eating it, instead of locking it up.
Oof, story one went exactly where I was expecting. Even before finding the box of her belongings in the attic. There is no hole deep enough or dark enough to toss the father and grandmother into. A nine year old being sold to be married off? NINE! I need a shower after listening to this story.
I'm glad OP managed to get the sister back. I hope they both can heal from the experience. Second story: I'm not excusing the boyfriend's behaviour. It was unacceptable and the OP was smart to get out of there. But it sounded to me like there was some food-related trauma in his childhood. Either being poor and not having enough to eat; or having the withdrawal of food used as a punishment for relatively minor infractions of overly strict family rules, and the lockbox was a subconscious reminder of that trauma.
1st story: that poor girl was definitely put through some traumatic shit in that "marriage." I hope she does well :( Story 2: there's noooo way that bf hasn't shown other red flags. No one goes from 0-60 like that. It's more likely he was escalating over time and she missed the signs
Story 1: *WHY IN THE ABSOLUTE BLEEP WAS THE MOTHER NOT ALSO ARRESTED SINCE SHE WAS ALSO IN ON SELLING HER DAUGHTER OFF FOR MARRIAGE TOO, WHY THE BLEEP DID SHE GET OFF*
@@abstractthistle9890 oh thank god, I’m beyond certain she was also in on it too. I hope they all rot in prison, that poor girl. The brother is a hero, and so is the Redditor who stepped into help
I would have sued that cat owner for basically stealing my money. The owner should have at least refunded the money after they backed out, but I feel like this was PLANNED.
Out of all the stories I have heard on this channel, this one hurts the most. I have a much younger sister and we are very close, and listening to the first story brough tear to my eye as my thought went to her being in a similar situation. I would turn into Liam Neeson if it happened to her, even though she is happily married with a kid, she is always my baby sister.
Same. I considered skipping it but I assumed rSlash wouldn’t post it unless there was an okay resolution. Not a great one, but at least the kid getting brought back. He’s usually careful about that.
The fact that the mother didnt report this is just as disgusting as if she did herself. Yes she cried when her daughter was taken, but she DIDNT call the cops, stop them, put her foot down, tell OP, or ANYTHING. She even lied and said it was boarding school TOO. Shes just as much at fault.
i´ve been following this channel since one month after it launched and i´ve watched like 97% of the videos. The first story definitly wins the award for the most fucked up thing i´ve ever heard on this channel. And over time rslash really featured some wild stuff
Look like you haven’t watched the one with guy who found out what his family were doing to their daughters, his sister specifically. It’s so missed up I still think about it almost a year later.
My thought about op's boyfriend's reaction to the lockbox was maybe a food issue that might have stemmed from food denial in his formative years but the problem with that theory is that it would usually apply to all food. But I suppose it could apply to snacks if it were only snacks that were denied or the withholding was used as punishment or a form of control
Second Story: The update is probably one of the most perfect examples of Love-Bombing. When the victim finally gets away from an abusive person, The abuser will say that they love them, That they want to marry them, That they'll try their best to make things work. If the victim decides to go back, The abuse just continues and nothing changes. I'm glad OP left for good, And i hope the boyfriend gets some professional help.
In the second story, I work with men who use abusive behaviour and I honestly think he was eating her snacks as a form of financial abuse and control. Withholding food, making her buy extra, holding money spend on food against op and all that. He was mad about the lock box because it shifted the power, which abusers obviously done like. He acted the way he did as emotional abuse and coercive control to manipulate and punish op for her defiance. His behaviour leading up to and following separation makes me convinced
Second story to me sounds like he might have food insecurity. I wonder if his mom kept the fridge/cabinet locked or punished him by withholding food. It would explain his need to eat the food so quickly and why the lockbox made him freak out. He might even know he has the trauma.
I agree. I could recognise the signs right away. Specially since he used the words "abuse" to describe her locking the food away. Hope they're both doing well...
OP is more fortunate than he will ever realize. Almost all children who are sold into slavery are never heard from again. Those that are found and returned home are almost always too traumatized to never have a normal life. For OP, his sister was found and doesn't seem to be in too bad of shape. I suspect that in time, she will be better off than most.
2nd story: First thought I had was that he has control issues, 1) can't control his eating, 2) when she puts her snacks in the lockbox he freaks out bc he's "losing" control, 3) redirection is a tactic used by manipulators to try and regain control.
Story 2: he sounds like he’s on steroids. If I remember correctly (I’m a psych major and substance effects is part of it), side effects of anabolic steroids include mania, delusions, paranoia, aggression, and increased appetite. His behavior checks the boxes, especially since he mentioned that he works out a lot.
Would that need a differential diagnosis to rule out other possible causes? Either way something was NOT normal. A hypothetically rational person wouldn't eat ALL the snacks so quickly, and freak the fuck out when they're denied the half that should be going to their partner. Let alone the hypocrisy of calling OP 'abusive and controlling' for locking away her half of the snacks when he was the one greedily eating ALL of it before then.
@@MGlBlaze*_OBLIGATORY NOT A PSYCHIATRIST, I’M A PSYCH UNDERGRAD_* It would require blood/urine screening at a minimum, which psychiatrists are authorized to order to confirm the presence of anabolic steroids. Unfortunately, the science of psychiatry depends primarily on the least reliable factor: the human factor. We can’t make someone be forthcoming.
@@MGlBlaze *_OBLIGATORY NOT A PSYCHIATRIST, I’M A PSYCH UNDERGRAD_* So if he was a patient, the therapist would see his side of events, not hers unless they’re doing joint counseling. The therapist would then have to make a judgement call to refer to a psychiatrist (which the patient can deny), and work from there. In his mind, everything he said may be *_his_* reality, and that’s difficult to challenge. But step one would be telling the truth. Odds are that if he’s abusing anabolic steroids, he won’t seek help until his life is in or damn near in shambles.
That first story was absolutely horrifying. You think this is something that never happens, but…here it is. I’m so glad that brother, as young as he is, got the initiative to do something about it. That dad and grandmother deserve NO sympathy.
The lockbox may have triggered childhood trauma of him being deprived of food or his family being too poor to feed him. He may have been abused and denied food in the past, that’s the only reason I can think that he would have such an irrational reaction.
On that first story: Hearing people say that crappy things being done is just "part of their culture" is completely bull. If it's part of the culture, then it needs to be stomped out. Slavery used to be a part of European culture for generations, but that shit got mostly stomped out. People realized that culture isn't an excuse to justify shitty actions, since everyone has a choice of what they do and don't do. Also, the amount of mothers that treat their daughters like that in Asian culture is appalling. You would think they would be the one's to realize how that shit feels, and wouldn't want it for their own kids. But I guess that's what happens when the "parents" think of their kids more as property than people On that second story: That boyfriends sounds like he was on drugs, and a particular kind; Steroids. That crap makes people extremely aggressive and irrational, and I suspect this based on his reactions and OP saying he was a huge man, and went to the gym a lot. Steroids are a lot more dangerous than people realize. It's not just the health issues, but it's also the emotional issues of aggression that it resorts people to. It also causes the massive appetite as well, as it alters the body's metabolism. Either way, it's not their problem, so glad they got out of there.
Also, if it was “just part of the culture,” the family would’ve felt absolutely no need to be so secretive about it. If it was “just part of the culture,” the family wouldn’t currently be facing prison sentences. If it was “just part of the culture,” authorities wouldn’t have taken the time to look for OPs sister. It’d almost as if… in 2022 …it’s no longer “just part of the culture.” 🤔
Second Story: My first thought was that the ex had food insecurity issues and was probably using steroids. Using a lockbox to prevent your food from being eaten is totally reasonable, but to someone who has trauma related to food it can be soul crushing and seem like the cruelest thing in the world. I've witnessed how irrational someone can be about it, and it kind of fits this situation. I also imagine it's steroids because I've personally been on them (due to health issues, yaaaay) and been absolutely ravenous.
The dude who went crazy over a food lockbox was definitely dealing with something. My first instinct would say he was on steroids but another option could be testosterone instead which would account for the instability and sheer rage. The thing that makes the most sense however would be him having a full blown eating addiction. It sounds strange but food addiction is a real thing and watching his girlfriend stop supporting his habit with the lockbox seems like it would be the equivalent of watching someone flush your stash of drugs down the toilet. For him to cycle through being angry to threatening to flattery and begging really fits the addiction route and since his focus was the lockbox it leads me to believe the vice of choice is food/eating.
I think it’s less of an addiction, more of a food insecurity. The way he reacted DEFINITELY sounds like someone who had food taken away as punishment during his childhood. That, or his family straight up couldn’t afford food, so he had to fight to protect what he did eat. That would also explain why he’d eat so quickly, especially if he had siblings. Food insecurity is a very big problem, and isn’t talked about nearly enough. A lot of people don’t even know that they’re struggling with it themselves. It can be so deeply rooted that they don’t even notice how aggressive they get when reacting to someone taking their food. Not only is it heavily linked to binge-eating disorder, it’s also linked to PTSD.
1st stroy: may the Grandma and Father forever wonder the 9 circles for what they did. Im glad Op managed to get help to find his sister 2nd story: its easy to jump to the conclusion that he was cheating or on drugs, but it could be that OPs Ex had controlling parents or a strict upbringing that could have resulted in thinking that snacks was the only things he could control
with regards to the second story's update: this is what my wife had to say, "gas-lighting, financial abuse, emotional manipulation, love bombing, physical abuse... one more red flag and you have a golf course!" I damn near sent bear out my nose!
The second story reminds me of my old roommate who had both BPD and a drug issue. I don't think he had a drug issue, but if he has a food-related disorder, the box could have set him off. My roommate was like that. We moved in together because she had been sober for over 6 months and things were going well until she relapsed (it wasn't the effect of the drugs, all she took was weed at first). Then it was a constant rollercoaster of emotional and verbal abuse and love bombing before I felt she was about to get physically abuse and left.
About that second story: the snack eating was probably a power move, and yeah, steroids could have played a part in it, but that's purely speculative since there are enough people who manage to be irrational arseholes completely without outside chemical influence. At first I was a bit worried that OP would make all sorts of excuses since this was allegedly the only area where he behaved in that manner - it probably wasn't, he was just better at hiding it - but when he flew off the handle with fits of rage and attempts at gaslighting after OP stopped him from asserting his dominance in this very convenient manner she fortunately saw that as all the red flags she needed.
People like the father and grandmother from the first story are the people that get murdered first day in prison. Crooks and criminals have only one golden rule. You don't mess with kids. Jail would be their death sentence, no matter how short. And good riddence.
No one talks about the third story, but the fact that the woman was still thinking about that plastic bracelet gift shows that she's being spoiled. But yea, it was the BF's fault for acting weird instead of just saying that the cat owner canceled last minute. Lol funny story tho
#1 - He sold his own daughter? and his mother helped sell her own granddaughter? This is obviously a family culture where "girls don't count, except for their market value". "Sold her to get married" - at what. 10-11? Her "husband" [aka owner] would have exercised his marital prerogatives on a literal child. Kudos to the Redditor who helped OP. #2 - "what's yours is mine" even if it was bought for you and set aside for you. He clearly has control issues, and his subsequent tantrums reinforce how fwagile his ickle ego is.
One thing I love about the first story, is that the OP, despite having everything given to him, never turned into an entitled brat and always payed attention to how unfair his sister was treated. Very kind soul.
That redditor who helped out the first OP to get his sister back is the MVP and a total G. Bless her and OP!
Bless her how? Some god?
@@VintageBassArchive hush
There should be a death sentence for people like that.
@@VintageBassArchive - one can wish good fortune on someone without any deity being involved.
@@VintageBassArchive theres so many ways to bless someone tf are you on
I have so much respect for the first OP: he's practically a child himself, but he managed to find strength and resources to save his little sister. wow
Honestly, the thing that haunts me most about the story is that this little girl was probably sexually assaulted multiple times considering that she was, "sold off to be married."
he was so smart too. With some help, he saved his sisters life. Cause that person she was married off to , was probably a predator
@@snowwhite5887 probably? Anyone who marries a child IS a predator
1st story: I. WAS. LIVID. Listening to how the daughter was sold off. Shame on both parents and the family.
I'm just hoping she wasn't molested... My heart is heavy for OP and his sister. I hope they return to their first country, and leave that sick mother as well... Horrible mother, father and grandfather
I honestly think they should have stayed with the distant family imo
May the parents and grandmother be buried in onions and spat on then burn in hell
@@aclaymushroomwithaberet7084 that "distant family" wasn't actually their family, RSlash read it wrong. It was the family of another reddit user that he stayed with while all crap went down. They were strangers that took him in for a while. Not family at all, but yeah I agree. That family would've been the better choice.
The mum is equally to blame here, she could've done something to stop it but didn't.
@@thebluewolf2472 thank you for the information
Props to OP for not letting his family turn him into a golden child. His sister is so lucky to have him. Also, I can't completely say the mom is blameless here. No, she wasn't the one who sold her daughter off, but she still did nothing once she found out, and kept up the lie.
Yeah. Honestly she is an enabler and complacent and i would NEVER EVER TRUST HER AGAIN. Seriously FUCK op's parents.
Do you know how unhinged Asian grandparents are its very clear they threatened her with death or worse being sold to human trafficking Asians like this grandmother are legit psychos
I was already disgusted that his sister was sold into marriage (basically sexual slavery), but it hit waaaayyy harder when I remembered she's only a 9 YEAR OLD CHILD! I'm so glad that op fought to find and protect his sister, and I hope she fully recovers mentally, emotionally, etc.
It happens in parts of Africa and the Middle East.
@@AzulakayesI’m guessing this story is in Indonesia given the cultural gender bias and islands.
When I heard they sold her into marriage, it was like a record scratch in my head, like, "hold up, am I remembering the sisters age wrong?" So I went back. I was horrified & felt sick to my stomach when I saw that, no, I was remembering it correctly. That poor girl. I hope she gets therapy and that the kids & mom can move back to the States.
Same age as Aisha's sexual slavery.
I hope so as well but that’s going to be a deep psychological scar
I can’t imagine how traumatized OP‘s little sister must be from all this. I’m glad she’s doing OK. I hope their mom is able to get the sister signed up for therapy.
Bruh, the mom was in on it too, why is she off the hook?
@@ThegreatestVN I don’t know, but the mom owes the sister that much for what she had to go through. Maybe the mom was forced to keep her mouth shut once she knew about it, it wasn’t exactly clear unless there was something I missed. But if she voluntarily kept her mouth shut about it, then she most definitely should have faced consequences as an accessory.
Looks like what ever country they are in pardoned the mom because op states they still needed a mother (both minors) and she didn't know until much later. I'm so curious to know what country this all went down in
@@neffyg35 Sounds likes SE Asia honestly. I'd bet Thailand.
@@thisistherevolt I thought SE too or maybe more rural China.
I can’t stop thinking about how many kids aren’t as lucky to have a brother like the 1st OP to get help. So sad. I think even the mom should be held accountable to some extent
I do believe and this is just my opinion that both the father and the grandmother is a complete sociopaths
She should be but feminism's gotta feminism.
@@RunicSigils Asian countries aren't really all that into the feminism movement. Very tradition locked countries.
@@RunicSigils the post literally said that the mom was exempt cause they still needed a parent,I wouldnt br surprised to hear that those two left as soon as they could
@@BeefMeisterSupreme The west has infected everything. Men were the ones awarded the children in patriarchal societies. Feminism flip flopped that and pushed to remove responsibility from women. (Yes, I know it's ironic since they complain about it now. But that's how ideologies work - you no longer have a job if your goals are actually met.)
SK has had a feminist cult, China has considered itself feminist for like 90 years, and Japan is slowly becoming more and more American because they refuse to stop pandering to them. Being Asian unfortunately isn't a prevention for western feminism.
The second story, he wasn't ever a "good guy" with one weird quirk about snacks. He was a sociopath who had a submissive partner who allowed all but one of his controlling behaviors. He didn't "forget" that they were your snacks, he did it deliberately as a sign of control. He 'flipped out' because you stopped allowing it, which is the biggest offense to controlling sociopaths. This is what makes people like him scary, he 'seemed' kind and caring but it was him masking for his control fixation.
not necessarily a sociopath. Just a controll freak.
Makes sense. It is that or a psychotic breakdown.
Lol I love how she left the lockbox
I think you might be right. If it was just a 'I'm sorry I got carried away eating' he wouldn't care if it was in a lock box or mite have even been GLAD have to not worry about getting carried away.
@@codyjohnson6427 and left it empty so if he breaks it open he gets nothing for the effort
9 years old. 9. Years. Old. Thank gods he saved her, probably one of the best older siblings ever. Genuinely upset about the favoritism when he was favorited instead of becoming some spoiled monster, to proving himself to be more responsible than the “adults” I’m so proud of these siblings.
Yeah, exactly. She hasn't even hit puberty yet but they married her off! No wonder she's traumatized. What sick, sick people. And the favoritism was all because of something as uncontrollable as chromosomes.
The dad and grandma deserve to rot in a third-world prison. The mom too, if she knew what was going on, though there's a possibility she didn't.
@@akl2k7 For real, I can’t imagine putting a breathing being, let alone a child, MY child in such a situation.
It's common in China, they will wait to get them married when they grow up, there isn't alot of women in China so every parent asks for at least 50,000 at the lowest.
@@knowvoid9958 she was 9. Years. Old.
@@Mythical4227 yes they were going to raise her to be a wife when she's legal so their heir can have a child it's pretty common in china.
Second story: initially I was wondering if the bf maybe had an ED or something, but after OP broke up with him and we saw the backlash I'm 100% sure he's a narc showing his true colours. The love bombing, the hoovering, the pity-baiting, OP dodged a bullet tbh.
Evidence points to him having a steroids addiction, roids doesn't just change your adrenaline and behavior, it also boost your metabolism, which is why he's going all of his snacks, and is still hungry and was helping himself to OP's snacks
Holy Shet, Goth you watch r/slash too?? Neat!!
@@Theannaloid Oh! That's a surprizing reunion haha!
@@Josh_the_jester Sigh. So, they shoot your liver, castrate you, affect your brain AND make you binge in unhealthy snacks. Roids sure do a LOT for you. Or is it TO you?
But they we’re together for 5 years that didn’t make sense. Is that normal for narcissists?
First Story: I can’t stand people who play favorites. Also, this family is insane to treat this girl like this is horrible. What they did to OP’s sister is absolutely awful. Woooow, they really sold OP’s sister to get married?! These people are horrible people. I’m so glad OP found their sister
Second Story: Why is he being so selfish? Why is OP’s boyfriend being like this over snacks? It isn’t fair for him to take OP’s half of the snacks. Honestly this guy is showing his true colors and it was all over snacks and a lock box. I’m glad OP got rid of this guy
Third Story, NTA but that plot twist was insane. Lmao I’m not going to lie I wasn’t expecting that ending
Asian cultures are like that, sadly.
son favoritism is a disease.
@@GiordanDiodato deadass? It is like that?
@@GiordanDiodato Not really. Atleast not in my country. Probably in central china and maybe somewhere in india but outside that... nah.
This is a VERY common practice in China where there is a huge gender discrepancy. The older generations (especially those born around or just after WW2) still see marriage as an economic decision rather than a social one. And the moment that I heard that they were half Asian and half White, I already knew. The practice of bringing your American kids back to China to marry them off for boys and girls is much higher than you think. The bride price for someone of this mix (due to higher probability of lighter skin) is very high and in recent years, with China's increase in wealth, that number is even higher. I wouldn't be surprised if the family received around six figures USD for the daughter. But, it is worse for the girls who are often sold to stay in China as they are supposed to become housewives. However, in reality, many end up in abusive situations where they are repeatedly violated by their arranged partner and locked inside the house so they don't escape.
@@vainaviai9013 China, Korea, India, Malaysia, Middle East, Japan...
Story1: "My mom said it's cultural" god I hate people using "culture" as an excuse. It's even worse than "but FAMILY". If you're culture is abusing people, in this case women, for generations, then its trash. The amount of vile things done to people because of "culture", "tradition", "religion" etc. is appalling.
Damn, this story almost had me in tears. The cruelty.
cheer up and thing of one of the very few things the English Empire did well: they built galloes besides funeral pyres in india, so that whoever thought it was a good idea to burn the widow alive with the deceased, would be hanged on the spot. And the brilliant reply to "but it's a part of our culture" was "yeah, and in our culture we hang muderers to death".
Shits been going for centuries. Women have and continue to be used as chattle. Still in so many countries if a woman or girl is killed or violated, no one is brought to justice. Girls are still not educated. They have no rights. In the US we get a smattering of it, think Roe v Wade. It wasn't that long ago that crap like this also happened in the US.
Absolutely. As if the word "cultural" could only have positive connotations. "You're insulting my culture!" YES. YES I AM.
I agree and I’m Mexican and in Mexico there’s similar ideals. My grandmother adored her sons and treated them like kings while she really hated their daughters, my mom the worst. My mom was severely abused by her mother and was forced to be a slave for the family and she often did her older brothers chores.
But the thing I’m confused about is why the mom would say that, from the story most likely the dad is the Asian parent and the mom is the American one. That’s she seem okay with what the grandma was doing to her young daughter. So my guess is that maybe the dad is secretly abusive (mentally or emotionally) or manipulated the mom into thinking this is okay. Since she knew about the marriage until later and still didn’t offer help, then again most likely she was on her own since she was in a different country and had no connections to her family.
I think maybe she was trapped and didn’t know what to do, since if the dad can easily sold his daughter off what does he do to his wife? Seems out of nowhere he did this if he didn’t have a history of abuse, maybe OP didn’t notice it or it’s behind closed doors. It’s like what my mom suffered with my American dad who was emotionally, mentally, and financially abusive with my mom and neglectful with me and my younger brother (and I thought that was normal). I think there’s more to the story but since OP is young he doesn’t know or didn’t see it.
Oh absolutely, at least with "But Family" cases. As soon you cut ties with those assholes, the freer you are.
The "But Culture/tradition/religion/honour/etc." cases is a lot more difficult. It doesn't matter how you live, you can be the next Mr. Rogers or Bob Ross of the world. If someone doesn't like you, they make some way to sound like you kick puppies for fun, and tell the while town about it. Which no one is allowed to defend you or cast doubt on the accuser.
I mean, why should I celebrate your culture/tradition/religion/honour/etc. when most of the time, its used against me and/or other people?
That brotherin the first story who fought to find his sister is a hero. His sister will never forget what he did for her. Also, that reddit person who helped her too. Bless their family for saving that child.
The OP of the first story was a brother, not a sister.
@@EleventhDawid ok, edited it
Story 1: Grandma driving off with sister sent chills down my spine, as I have heard stories of girls being sold into brothels this way. Glad OP got reunited.
I can think of several countries that a 9-YEAR-OLD can be sold off for marriage. And I don’t even want to think about what happens to girls in that situation.
It actually reminds me of a story from a few years back where the OP found one of his sisters being assaulted by an older male relative and he took both of them away. I hope this OP does the same when he’s able to.
his youngest sister ("Liza") will be a teenager now but from what I heard from the story "Amy" got a dog from "potato" and a collection of stuffed animals
Christ, I remember that story. Sickening what some people do to someone they claim to 'love'
The leading cause of death worldwide for girls aged 15-19 is complications from pregnancy and childbirth, so, yeah.
@@Jay-Gruener Worthless love.
I remember that one, wasn't it like southern Australia or something or out in the outback in super rural country?
Seriously such a fucked story
for the second story, my guess is that this 'perfect guy' was trying to test the waters of control with the food, but she cracked down on it and he didn't like that. he was desperate for longterm control, and she nipped it in the bud. possibly mixed with roidrage, but idk
Ding ding ding! This isn’t about the food. This is the early stages of an abusive relationship and I’m stunned nobody got this.
Roidrage definitely.
I don't know about that. People who test the water start easy and continue harder. Him being focused on just food seems very weird to me.
Usually this type of stuff suggests they don't respect boundaries in general. However, he normally respects her boudaries.
He only reacted to the food. I think he has food trauma. I'm not sure how, what or why. He might have an eating disorder as well. He especially flipped out over the box so not being able to get his food fix sent him over the edge. It must be some sort of addiction to food control.
Ding-ding!
*First OP:* Unbelievable. I hope OP's dad and grandmother get the most severe punishment. I'm glad his sister is okay, and I hope she gets therapy.
*Second OP:* Good thing OP's ex showed his true colors when he did. As for Lockbox Gate: I'm wondering if OP's ex had food insecurity growing up, and that's why he's freaking out over a lockbox. It could _explain_ his outburst, but it definitely doesn't _excuse_ it.
*Third OP:* Aw, now I feel bad for OP's boyfriend! I'm glad things worked out for the two of them, but OP's boyfriend should put the cat owner's account on blast so no one else will fall for that scam.
I know we are all civilized n sh!t, but I think we should string these people up and let them dangle for a few days as an example.
We can even live-stream it.
It's all the grandmother's fault.
So, getting rid of her would have solved the situation.
Story 1: What's truly tragic is that OP's sister is alive and safe, but she is clearly NOT OK. OP noted that she doesnt talk much. She may live with trauma for the rest of her life because of her disgusting family. People seem to want to give the mother a pass, but she didn't do anything to get her daughter back. Hopefully when the daughter is an adult she ghosts everyone but her brother, the only decent one of them. Oh, and gets a ton of therapy.
I hope they got disowned by the entire family
I suspect it was more about controlling her in smaller ways, to build up to bigger means of control. That, or he wanted OP to stay slim or lose weight, so he was manipulating her food to control her body.
Second story: I wonder if maybe the guy had an eating disorder earlier in life and his family had took it to a near abusive level when trying to get him healthier. Something like locking away all the food and only letting him have a minimum amount for meals and no snacks. Which once he was on his own became inverted where he wanted/needed to compulsively eat snacks because he'd been denied so long. Then the lock box shows up major PTSD trigger he snaps and can't bring himself to explain the horrible things that had happened growing up.
I thought it sounded more like roid rage.... she did say he spends a lot of time at the gym.
That's a nice theory, But whatever it is, He needs to get some help.
@@nickmyers3793 guy is 6'3 and only weigh 200 lbs, he ain't spending that much time at the gym
@@robertlowther6979 That could be a thyroid issue. Having a hyped metabolism could be preventing muscle gain.
@@D-M-K-1-2 Oh yeah dude definitely need to get some therapy
Thank goodness OP1 had such fantastic support, I hope he and his sister are doing okay.
My theory for story 2 is the ex-bf was denied snacks as discipline as a kid or was neglected/abused via being denied food. Since he hasn't dealt with that, it becomes a hot-button for a huge hecking meltdown! Glad you got away OP, you set a boundary and he got violent with property, then got extremely angry, then detached, then love-bombed. This all would have happened sooner or later over something else if not for this.
I'm so glad someone echos my thoughts on OP's ex-bf.
My theory is that he’s on steroids, and is experiencing roid rage or something similar but I think that your theory could also be similar!
For the snack story, that's pretty much exactly what I was thinking. Although, I am also wondering if he has undiagnosed underlying mental health issues. Before I was getting treated properly for my condition, I was a very volitile. It came to a point where I could feel my brain changing, I know that sounds weird but I'll stand by that. Eventually, I had a horrible outburst. I didn't hurt anybody (although at one point I did hurt myself). Once I started getting treated correctly, I began to feel like myself again. I'm wondering if he may have some kind of issue he needs help with. That doesn't excuse his actions, but it could very possibly be a sign of something serious. Mental illness can genuinely change you as a person, and having trauma or abuse in your background as well will only exacerbate that.
eh its more likely/more in line with steroids
@@leviuzumaki3903 could be both!
In the 1st story, I really hope the sister gets therapy, not just for the abandonment, but if she was sold off to get MARRIED then I really hope nothing else horrible happened to her, but she definitely needs a lot of therapy
Story 1: That has got to be the biggest betrayal I've ever seen in months! Like, selling the kid to get married? *WHAT THE FRIDGE WERE THEY THINKING?!*
Glad that the sister was found and reunited with OP. Those parents can rot
Easy answer: money. It was clear from the beginning that the grandma did not like OP's sister (stereotypical uptight Asian inlaws). My guess is she was the one who put the father up to selling her for money and he was like "ok, sure."
If I had my way, human traffickers like them would be executed. They tried to destroy the life of a nine year old child, and thus taking their lives is the only proper recourse.
I can tell you what they were thinking:
"I like money"
Don't forget she was 9, 9 YEARS OLD, they should be sentenced to death ngl
@@Nerobyrne nah man, it is obvious OP was staying at china.
You don't marry your grandkids for direct money, for connections.
Who wanna guess that dad got a new higher paying job after that? Since OP being 14 wouldn't notice the better life standard due to being stressed for his little sister.
*When you send Capitalist families to 3rd world countries*
I do not in any way believe that snack girl's relationship was actually fine beyond the snack issue. There was abuse at play that she's either overlooking or hiding. Either that or the bf is severely mentally ill with a very bizarre trigger. With the violent outbursts I really can't see that this was the only issue.
I was thinking either a food addiction or he was raised in a food restrictive house hold, mainly the later.
I could see it being triggering after being an adult with your own food freedom, then seeing your partner lock food away. He may not even know what the issue is but not talking at all is not the way to handle it.
Deffiniatly a mental health issue and he needs therapy.
I do believe that he has a substance abuse problem with steroids, OP did mention that he was always hungry and steroids affects you metabolism and increasing appetite, not stackish like how weed does but full blown, 6 corse meal hungry
yeah, i was wondering that too. rSlash theorised about steroids, but that doesn't really fit the trigger, imo. like, they could explain why the bf was angry enough to smash a laptop, but the fact that it was this very specific circumstance that sent him off the deep end, makes me think there's some weird mental thing going on there
Steroids, 100%. This is textbook roid rage, and he's covering his use by gaslighting and lovebombing.
I believe the op in that story is just being whiny honestly.
Last Story. The guy admitted he was in the wrong and gave a reasonable excuse. After binging redditor stories I’m thoroughly impressed. That guys a keeper.
I'm so used to this shit spiraling faster then a Helicopter crash, That I am delighted for her and him. Communication! Apologizing! Explanation! Acting like Adults who love each ither instead of Roomates who tolerate each other! I don't know why it is so rare I have to gush over this but god damn!
That first story had me crying so hard. Words cant even begin to describe how horrible what that grabdma and the father did to that poor child. So happy to hear that op found them. Hopefully she can get some good therapy because she has to have awful trauma from it all... really hope nothing like this ever happens to her or op ever again. No child should have to go through that!!!
With how the mother was crying, how the father moved his office in OP's sister's bedroom and how OP found her stuff in the attic, I'd also have thought the worst. Mainly that they had k¡lled her.
I'm SOOOO glad they were able to find her. And that redditor is a SAINT. Oh my stars, I love Reddit so damn much!
Not many people have mentioned the last story so here - That was such a heartwarming ending, I'm really glad we finally got a rich BF that wasn't a total asshole to his gf
Yeah, it seemed with the context given that it was out of character for him. I'm glad she asked what the thought process was. It's exactly what I would ask my husband since we can see the actions, but not always the heart.
We are glad that her bf did that, or else we wont have that story to hear.
Yeah, at the end I'm left wondering about people who are that wrapped up in a tiktok/yt/insta cat though? Like go to any shelter you can play with plenty of cute cats it's not like they're rare. Even if you're a sucker for a specific type like Scottish Folds or Sphinxes you can probably still find some near you to play with rather than getting scammed to see a specific one.
At first I thought it was a gold digger test lol
also if the guy still charged the money that is really illegal
Yeah. Lockbox guy is a mystery. When a gem of a person becomes a nightmare allegedly with no signs or a tiny trigger like the box, something is probably out of their normal. Glad she got to safety, but I know I'd be baffled until I knew why too.
Edit: Saw someone mention she might not be giving us all the details too. So to that level of dust added to the mix, all I have to say is "The world may never know."
Steroids mah dude...
Steroids don’t make sense. That explains the outbursts but not his obsession with the lockbox or the days of silent treatment over the lockbox. If it was just roid rage he’d throw a temper tantrum and then apologize to OP long before she broke up with him.
Yup. That's roid rage.
Lots of people here are coming to the conclusion of him having an eating disorder or food related abuse. He's only 200 pounds, that's not big for a guy that's 6'3.
What concerns me the most is that she sent pictures of his meltdown to his mother. One of the people that would have had the most opportunity to abuse him and cause the DMG seen. It would be like if that grandma from the first story was given power over her granddaughter again.
@@kaynerandolph432 Yeah it seems kinda better to get a welfare check instead, making sure to say it may be drugs or a psychological issue, to see if this behaviour repeats with authority or if its just a manipulation tactic.
Though the behavior and texts she mentioned, went from withholding presence or care until X, to threatening, to violent property damage, to unhinged(lockbox is still here!, after she moved out), to lovebombing, to attempts at evoking pity, and back to unhinged(pay my new rent).
Like holy shit, that's the toxic handbook tossed at her, no wonder she seems kinda numb, that's what happens when life turns surreal.. also therapy might be necessary, as over time, she loses the shocked disbelief, she might find similar people or confrontational situations triggering in the ptsd sense.
Also perhaps she should consult a lawyer, so there are copies of the info just in case she loses her phone or needs a restraining order.
The second story: I’m glad op is safe. it sounds really weird and like an over reaction to have a lock box, if he was in foster care that could be so triggering. He could have suppressed trauma . I still hide food in case something happens, I’m 24 and married. I have an eating disorder to, but I would never act the way he did, maybe the box triggered him and he turned to drugs?
I was the same way with being in foster care and hiding food. I still have an unhealthy relationship with food and I’m now 27. I get very triggered if my things are moved or food goes missing, and I hate myself for it but I’m getting better
Food insecurity is my guess.
@@TheKrackalack what-
@@TheKrackalack that.... that has absolutely nothing to do with this dude. Also immaturity does not at all explain why his reaction was so volatile nor is it at all any kind of excuse.
I hope the woman trips and falls, and gets a fracture, that just doesn't go away
I hope when she was "supposed to get married" they were planning on waiting until she was older. But the fact that she is so quiet now makes me wonder if she was already "Married" and more.
Some of those cultures (eg Afghanistan) allow child marriage. It's just plain sick.
@@akl2k7 I know, but she was 9, so I was hoping they were just planning on grooming her until she hit puberty, but her reserved reaction suggests trauma. Then again, being sold is traumatizing enough.
@@sanddagger36 Hopefully. That's probably the best case scenario, and it's still pretty horrific.
It is possible she already was sexually abused during the ordeal.
For the second story, I think OP's boyfriend was mad at the fact that she created a boundary. I've heard of stories where toxic people get mad or upset over people creating boundaries with them and I'm guessing that either OP had rose tinted glasses on throughout the relationship and just overlooked any red flags her boyfriend was showing or he must be the type of person that pretends to be sweet and nice until their partner is in a position where they can't get out of, like marriage or something. I bet the lockbox bothered him the most and it resulted in him "letting out the genie."
Though, I have read people mentioning the possibility of steroids, which I think sounds possible as well.
He's massively psychotic and controlling. Getting unglued over her having reasonable boundaries sounds like he is doing something amoral or illegal.
Lockbox story: my theory is pretty simple. Dude has an eating disorder, she discovered/confronted it, it brought up a lot of emotion for him which he couldn't handle. He made her the problem so he doesn't have to deal with his issues. His control issues came out, he tried to manipulate her so as not to lose her, OP stood her ground and is better off. Dude needs some therapy too.
I wondered about this, too.
Was my thought too. IDK if it's straight up an ED but perhaps a trigger of some kind. Maybe he was denied food as punishment/abuse as a kid, so he eats things as fast as he can because his brain still functions in a "don't know if there will be food later" way (my dad has a similar issue). When he was denied food he felt the injustice of his childhood again and blew a fuse, became abusive himself. It really seems like a trauma response, dude needs therapy...
That actually makes a lot of sense. I was wondering if perhaps he has some mild and un-diagnosed form of autism, as I've seen that lead to similar out-of-the-blue meltdowns and psychotic breaks in people over the years. Though as another reply pointed out, it could also stem from some past trauma... And that's not even factoring in whether or not he was hiding something (addiction, cheating, mental/emotional complex, etc). For all we know, if could be any mix of those, or even all of the above. We might never know.
@@dambugs Fun fact: autism does NOT cause psychosis.
I saw another theory of it being roid rage
For the lockbox story, I'm wondering what his relationship with food was like growing up. The fact that he would eat so much food so quickly and reacted so extremely to the lockbox makes me think somebody locked up all the food and treated it like a reward and not a necessity. I know that's kinda extreme but that's the only reason I can possibly think of for acting like this
It genuinely does sound like an abuse/trauma thing if it isn't him being controlling. I've heard stories that former prison inmates will retain their eating habits of wolfing down food as fast as they can and watching anyone who might try to take it from them, so your theory isn't too farfetched to me.
@@sentinel7672 that's a good point, remember reading something about a father who would wait for everyone to finish eating before he would start, came from him being poor as a child and he just wanted to make sure his family had eaten enough
It does sound like a food relationship issue. And the complete 180° reactions give me the indication he needs to be checked either for a head injury or for a personality or other mental health issue disorder.
@John Stoddart my mom was like that too. She made sure all the kids in her house got food first, and then dad and her would get their share. I do that with my stepdaughter. If I'm making something separate for her, then what my husband and I are eating and mine and my husband's is done first, I won't take a bite until hers is served to her.
So maybe it is a food thing with the guy? And in his panic mode, he lashed out? I mean I have heard stories from my friend that was in foster care where two of her foster siblings, a brother and sister, had a habit of hiding food in their room because their last foster home locked it away and wouldn't give them much to eat, so they were 'programmed' to hord it because they didn't know when they'd get a proper meal. Took them over a year to try and break them of that habit, and even then, it still kinda happened from time to time while they were living there.
No this is absolutely resource guarding
The first story reminds me of my grandmother, although it is nowhere near as creepy. Those aware of the Great Depression in the United States will probably know that some kids were literally sold by desperate parents. My grandmother was one of them. For years our family had been told she'd been put up for adoption because her parents couldn't afford to keep her (the selling part was left out). My sister was doing some research in genealogy, and she uncovered records that suggest my grandmother had actually been sold, not just given. It was nowhere near as traumatic as OP's story. The family that bought her treated her as their own. While she didn't have the easiest life, she did have a full one. But still. It makes me wonder how many kids in the US were sold into awful situations like OP's sister.
My granddad was almost sold or put up for adoption during the Depression. His mother spent a month trying to decide which son to get rid of because she couldn’t feed both.
She decided on my granddad because he was younger and couldn’t work as much to help put food on the table. He was around 8 or 9-years-old and his brother was a teenager.
She started looking for a family that would basically buy him and have him work as a stablehand or do other farm chores in exchange for room and board (the “room” would probably be sleeping in the barn).
But granddad doesn’t know exactly what happened, a family member stepped in to help out or something, but suddenly his mom stopped talking about selling him and they moved to a big city where his mom and brother were able to get better paying jobs.
They were still poor in the city, but not don’t-know-where-the-next-meal-is-coming-from poor. And Granddad was able to go to school instead of doing farm chores.
He only talked to my dad twice about that time when his mom almost sold him. He was drunk (he wouldn’t/couldn’t talk about it sober) and actually cried.
The fear, isolation of being 8 and your mom saying that she’s going to have to choose which of her children to get rid of, then a week later saying she’s getting rid of you?
And even if it didn’t end up happening, knowing your whole childhood that it could happen again and she could actually do it this time.
It must’ve ripped away every sense of safety he had.
It's not a low number
It is a bit different since it sounds like in your grandmothers case she was sold to be their child while in the sisters case she was sold as a wife. People don't usually have sex with their children.
@@MEB-1997 Yeah. Like I said. My family's case was nowhere near as creepy/ traumatic. However, it makes me wonder if there were kids being sold for that kind of thing in the US in the 30's. Unfortunately, it would make a lot of sense, but I'll admit I'm not a historian.
@@Arachne97 A lot of those Confederate/Union/Spanish War widows where the bride was so much younger (teens marrying old men) were similar. They married to be supported/collect the pension for taking care of the old man. Haven't heard of anyone under 15 or 16 though.
First story: The father told his son that it was a “cultural” thing.
Well, it’s a cultural thing that needs to change, period!
When cultural things are in conflict with moral things, then change has to happen. The rest of the civilized world knows this. To hell with “culture” if it’s an excuse to treat other humans as sub human. Disgusting!
I hope the father and grandmother can now feel what being treated as less-than is like. May they stay incarcerated until they do.
Asian here. I don’t know what country OP is in, but in my country and the countries around mine (unless I’m mistaken), that sure as hell not a cultural thing. There have been a few instances in recent history (1960s+/especially 1980s) of corrupt government doing similar things (ex kidnapping random people no matter the age and putting in -concentration camps- “homeless shelters”, but the general public were not aware of the severity), but it is not a culture thing.
Seeing how they got arrested, it’s not culture there either.
The closest thing I can see that’s cultural (again going off of my experience of my country and limited knowledge about surrounding countries) is the emphasis on the first born, extra bonus if it’s a first-born son, but favoritism like that has been fading out and even looked down upon. Of course there’re assholes/abusers who are assholes/abusers. I doubt that that’ll ever change.
Sorry if this is unorganized and hard to read. Just wanted to put my two cents out there.
Im so glad op didn’t give up and looked for his sister. There is no love quite like sibling love. That poor girl. I hope she knows how loved and worthy she is.
omg, that first story had me in tears. That poor girl!! But OP and the redditor that helped are both fantastic. Being sold to get married at NINE YEARS OLD?! I feel so bad for her.... poor, poor girl 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
Just listening to that first story and thinking about how one thing I absolutely love about Reddit is that amongst the trolls & jokes you can almost always find someone who is ready, willing & able to help you at any given moment... And the levels that some Redditers will go to to do that, is amazing. Like yes I know the world is a dark horrible place so much of the time but also, sometimes flowers grow in dung and people are good.
There is also the dark side - plenty of examples of how Reddit ruins the lifes of perfectly innocent people by harassment for perceived crimes....
Story 1: The word "evil" does not suffice to describe that dad and grandmother. Let 'em rot. Forever.
Second story: BULLET DODGED holy cow! He refusing to communicate with her and practically punishing her by being out of the house and having her have to guess and worry as to the truth of the situation is a huge red flag, as well as the constant apologizing for eating her food and then doing it again (he isn't really sorry), the gaslighting, and the attempt at manipulating control + love bombing after she'd dumped him
Third story is actually refreshing hope their relationship becomes more stronger.
First story: I was really worried when OP was telling the story and when he said she was sold to be married I stopped what I was doing because that was a huge shock to me! I'm glad people helped OP and he's sister. I hope nothing bad happened to her in those months.
First story: Death isnt a good enough punishment for the father and grandmother. They should rot in jail for the rest of their lives. The mom should too, but It seems she got lucky. I hope OP ditches his whole family and keeps his sister safe.
Sadly, it probably won't happen. People who engage in this type of thing usually have connections. They're usually out pretty quickly (less than a year).
They should be tortured
If he got out, as the son I’d have a deep desire to castrate with a hot knife
Personally, I disagree. Put em both down, and move on. There's always a chance, however slim, that they could break out and hunt down OP. Like people always get hung up on like making the perpetrator suffer as much as the victim has, and I don't agree with that because personally i think it shows a weird sense of attachment, unnecessarily holding onto it when you don't need to. Just pull a John Wick, put a bullet in each of them and walk away.
@@gamenut112 Agreed. Prolonged suffering isn't adequate vengeance; any perpetrator still capable of thought is still hypothetically capable of becoming a threat again.
And there is no greater punishment than being immediately and abruptly denied any semblance of peace in your erasure from the material plane. As far as we currently understand, it's possible that someone dying violently and instantly could even rob them of the sensation of an afterlife.
Throw them in the dirt and let them be useful for once in their despicable existences by fertilizing the soil with their corpses.
This is pertaining to the second story. To me, it sounds like OP's ex might have an eating disorder, possibly brought on by childhood trauma. Either that, or it was a controllong abuse/gaslighting OP's ex was starting with OP. There might have been other instances not related to food that OP did not realize was happening. The fact that he seemed so wonderful, but could not stop himself from eating her food points, in my mind, either compulsive issues, or purposefully eating her food so she can't have it. The fact that she made boundaries and took back control of her food set him off either way. Either he was triggered because there is food there that he can't get to, or he was pissed that *she* got to keep her food, and he could not control what she ate. Either way, the ex needs help.
Snack story: The first thing that popped in my mind was that he got into “red pill” theology, and her exercising control would be met with a show of dominating force.
Whether that’s what’s going on here or not, red pill relationships break my heart for the people being subjected to such abuse.
I have a feeling he has a food issue, like an addiction or trauma
What is red pill theology??
I was thinking steroids, but who knows?
@@persaunnaSo I looked it up, cause your question got me curious. The red pill thing comes from the movie The Matrix, in which Neo (main character) is offered a choice between two pills. The blue pill would allow him to live his quiet life in the Matrix, and believe whatever he wants to believe, but the red pill would wake him up to the real world and the truth. Basically think of the red pill as a choice to wake up to knowledge that could bring your world crashing down, while the blue pill would be choosing to live in ignorance. Not exact, but might help for frame of reference
@@alanalirkani Thank you.
I'm furious that op and his sister are in their mothers custody...what she participated in was Human trafficking, of her own daughter.
Idgaf if she wasn't in on it until late game, she should have ran to the police when she found out.
That last story sounds like a lawsuit. OP’s boyfriend should sue to get his money back.
They need to put that account on blast. I am not much for cancel culture, but this is definitely justified so no one else gets scammed.
@@iris5678 yeah, I'm wondering who it is cause I'd love to blast them. Can't just pick one because there's thousands of cat tiktoks
@@iris5678 Yes, I'm on board with this.
From how it sounds the dude is probably to rich to care about what’s probably like 100-1000 dollars max wasted
12:40 there is one possibility missing from what is assumed could be happening... It could be that food was used as a way to control him as a young child and so he's got severe trauma from those times in his life and it could have triggered a complete total mental and emotional breakdown
Food trauma is huge and never talked about. I have it and boy when I triggered it sucks.
That was my thought too. He might not even realize he was triggered.
not excusing the behavior of the dude in the second story but first thing i thought of this.
I know someone who's mom used food as punishment. as a teenager they sometimes would go a full day without food. now as an adult they would always have extra snacks stored around the house like in closets, bedside tables, tv table drawers.
the first thing you expect a parent to be is nurturing (literally) if that isn't the case the damage is almost always permanent
Violence against things/environment is a huge red flag for domestic violence. The next step is verbal threats/almost hurting you, and after that will be really hurting you. Good on OP for getting out before things escalated too far, esp considering the lovebombing/flipping between anger, love and sorrow
Not really if you only do it against thing or environtment ,then again it might be something like eating disorder and super high metabolism
same as the previous comment, a lot of people let out their rage on the environment precisely to avoid hurting anyone or any living being
@@Etienne.6329 It's a sign of physical intimidation. Like "I could hurt you if I wanted to".
@@theoneglorylucky3071 No, I agree with the commenter. It's threatening and harmful.
What the dad and grandma did was beyond horrendous but why wasn’t the mother punished for keeping this a secret for so long, yea Op and his sister need a parent but they can literally live with relatives or cousins.
Food insecurity is a genuine and primal trauma. He probably had that reaction to the fridge lockbox as an unresolved trauma from his childhood. Worth looking into.
I wonder if food insecurity or a binge disorder has something to do with the bf's meltdown. Or it could be drugs/cheating. Hell, it could even be an onset of some kind of mental disorder or a tumor changing his personality. But of course there's always the chance that OP isn't telling the whole truth and this isn't the first time he's been like this
my guess is food was used to abuse him at some point so it triggers him. Doesn't justify the abuse he does tho. Hope he gets help.
that first story is heartbreaking. I'm so glad that young man protected his sister, and that people were able to help. holy shit what a horror story
The first story, wow. I’m so glad OP got his sister back, that grandmother and father are absolutely disgusting. They don’t deserve anything in life expect pain and the same crap they put that little girl to and so much more worse. She reminds me of my own grandmother whose also from my dads side, she never wanted me either, but wow
First story was crazy it made me tear up, I wouldn't be surprised if they make movie about it, and whoever was that redditor who helped we OP we love you, you are an amazing person
My heart sank into my stomach and I felt like crying during story 1 I hope op's sister is okay and I hope she can heal and live a happy life
I've heard the second story a few times now, and it boggles me more and more every single time how someone could be so blatantly aggressive and greedy over FOOD.
I hope he gets the help he needs because there has to be an imbalance.
Third story: while i love revenge stories, and sticking up for yourself stories, i also enjoys gems like this were they manage to communicate and figure it out.
Story 2: I doubt anything else was going on. This sounds a lot like ODD. He may have been cordial and supportive of other parts of the relationship, but as soon as he felt he was being "controlled" he changed in a way to prevent the control. So he distanced himself and set up an ultimatum. This is a really common symptom of having ODD. I would say that he is the one that needs therapy. The girlfriend was right to leave though, because ODD can be dangerous, especially because you said he got violent.
ODD? *[Googles]* Ah, "Oppositional Defiant Disorder".
_A type of behavior disorder. Children with ODD are uncooperative, defiant, and hostile toward peers, parents, teachers, and other authority figures. Developmental problems may cause ODD. Or the behaviors may be learned._
Funny that he applies a sign of being controlled to stuff that didn't really belong to him.
@@BeefMeisterSupreme It belonged to both of them.
@@fallenprometheus I thought she was the one paying for snacks
@@fallenprometheus I'm pretty sure they were both paying for the food, that generally means 50/50. Thus half of the snacks are his, and half of the snacks are hers. She only locked up half of the snacks, so she denied him of HER property. Similarly he denied her her half all this time by just eating it, instead of locking it up.
Oof, story one went exactly where I was expecting.
Even before finding the box of her belongings in the attic.
There is no hole deep enough or dark enough to toss the father and grandmother into.
A nine year old being sold to be married off?
NINE!
I need a shower after listening to this story.
I'm glad OP managed to get the sister back. I hope they both can heal from the experience.
Second story: I'm not excusing the boyfriend's behaviour. It was unacceptable and the OP was smart to get out of there. But it sounded to me like there was some food-related trauma in his childhood. Either being poor and not having enough to eat; or having the withdrawal of food used as a punishment for relatively minor infractions of overly strict family rules, and the lockbox was a subconscious reminder of that trauma.
1st story had me crying, I felt genuine happiness from knowing he found his sister again
1st story: that poor girl was definitely put through some traumatic shit in that "marriage." I hope she does well :(
Story 2: there's noooo way that bf hasn't shown other red flags. No one goes from 0-60 like that. It's more likely he was escalating over time and she missed the signs
Story 2: Just read in another comment that his behavior was a symptom of ODD. I myself know practically nothing of it, so I’ll just leave it here
Story 1: *WHY IN THE ABSOLUTE BLEEP WAS THE MOTHER NOT ALSO ARRESTED SINCE SHE WAS ALSO IN ON SELLING HER DAUGHTER OFF FOR MARRIAGE TOO, WHY THE BLEEP DID SHE GET OFF*
@@abstractthistle9890 yay that's amazing let all of those adults rot in hell
@@abstractthistle9890 oh thank god, I’m beyond certain she was also in on it too. I hope they all rot in prison, that poor girl. The brother is a hero, and so is the Redditor who stepped into help
I would have sued that cat owner for basically stealing my money. The owner should have at least refunded the money after they backed out, but I feel like this was PLANNED.
Out of all the stories I have heard on this channel, this one hurts the most. I have a much younger sister and we are very close, and listening to the first story brough tear to my eye as my thought went to her being in a similar situation. I would turn into Liam Neeson if it happened to her, even though she is happily married with a kid, she is always my baby sister.
Seeing the title makes me scared of just HOW BAD the parents are gonna be when I watch it
Same. I considered skipping it but I assumed rSlash wouldn’t post it unless there was an okay resolution. Not a great one, but at least the kid getting brought back. He’s usually careful about that.
@@BeeWhistler True, OP got his sister back. But I hope that his Dad and Grandmother get the shit beat out of them in prison
Story 2: If he can get that violent, he could hurt other people. I hope the mom can set him straight, because he can't keep up that behavior
I'm so happy the siblings are reunited. 😭 Bless that redditor who helped them! They are amazing people
The video where one op thwarts human trafficking at age 14 and another is involved in a misunderstanding over a TikTok famous cat
The fact that the mother didnt report this is just as disgusting as if she did herself. Yes she cried when her daughter was taken, but she DIDNT call the cops, stop them, put her foot down, tell OP, or ANYTHING. She even lied and said it was boarding school TOO. Shes just as much at fault.
i´ve been following this channel since one month after it launched and i´ve watched like 97% of the videos. The first story definitly wins the award for the most fucked up thing i´ve ever heard on this channel. And over time rslash really featured some wild stuff
It's unfortunately still common in some parts of Asia.
Look like you haven’t watched the one with guy who found out what his family were doing to their daughters, his sister specifically.
It’s so missed up I still think about it almost a year later.
My thought about op's boyfriend's reaction to the lockbox was maybe a food issue that might have stemmed from food denial in his formative years but the problem with that theory is that it would usually apply to all food. But I suppose it could apply to snacks if it were only snacks that were denied or the withholding was used as punishment or a form of control
Second Story: The update is probably one of the most perfect examples of Love-Bombing. When the victim finally gets away from an abusive person, The abuser will say that they love them, That they want to marry them, That they'll try their best to make things work. If the victim decides to go back, The abuse just continues and nothing changes. I'm glad OP left for good, And i hope the boyfriend gets some professional help.
In the second story, I work with men who use abusive behaviour and I honestly think he was eating her snacks as a form of financial abuse and control. Withholding food, making her buy extra, holding money spend on food against op and all that. He was mad about the lock box because it shifted the power, which abusers obviously done like. He acted the way he did as emotional abuse and coercive control to manipulate and punish op for her defiance. His behaviour leading up to and following separation makes me convinced
That redditor in the first story is a saint! We need more people like her in the world!
Omg. I hope OP and their sister all the healing in the world. I can't imagine the trauma she endured.
Second story to me sounds like he might have food insecurity. I wonder if his mom kept the fridge/cabinet locked or punished him by withholding food. It would explain his need to eat the food so quickly and why the lockbox made him freak out. He might even know he has the trauma.
Nah mate, steroids.
I agree. I could recognise the signs right away. Specially since he used the words "abuse" to describe her locking the food away. Hope they're both doing well...
Story 1 I've heard this one. Thank god op got his sister back. People like the dad and grandma will burn in H E double hockey sticks.
Nah hell is too good for them they get super hell lol for tho they are going to the deepest pit of hell
Your comment reminds me of Bones! They said the same exact thing!
OP is more fortunate than he will ever realize. Almost all children who are sold into slavery are never heard from again. Those that are found and returned home are almost always too traumatized to never have a normal life.
For OP, his sister was found and doesn't seem to be in too bad of shape. I suspect that in time, she will be better off than most.
2nd story: First thought I had was that he has control issues, 1) can't control his eating, 2) when she puts her snacks in the lockbox he freaks out bc he's "losing" control, 3) redirection is a tactic used by manipulators to try and regain control.
I'm starting to like these Best of Redditor updates more than the usual stories. More please 🤗🤗🤗
Story 2: he sounds like he’s on steroids. If I remember correctly (I’m a psych major and substance effects is part of it), side effects of anabolic steroids include mania, delusions, paranoia, aggression, and increased appetite. His behavior checks the boxes, especially since he mentioned that he works out a lot.
Would that need a differential diagnosis to rule out other possible causes?
Either way something was NOT normal. A hypothetically rational person wouldn't eat ALL the snacks so quickly, and freak the fuck out when they're denied the half that should be going to their partner. Let alone the hypocrisy of calling OP 'abusive and controlling' for locking away her half of the snacks when he was the one greedily eating ALL of it before then.
@@MGlBlaze*_OBLIGATORY NOT A PSYCHIATRIST, I’M A PSYCH UNDERGRAD_*
It would require blood/urine screening at a minimum, which psychiatrists are authorized to order to confirm the presence of anabolic steroids. Unfortunately, the science of psychiatry depends primarily on the least reliable factor: the human factor. We can’t make someone be forthcoming.
@@MGlBlaze *_OBLIGATORY NOT A PSYCHIATRIST, I’M A PSYCH UNDERGRAD_*
So if he was a patient, the therapist would see his side of events, not hers unless they’re doing joint counseling. The therapist would then have to make a judgement call to refer to a psychiatrist (which the patient can deny), and work from there.
In his mind, everything he said may be *_his_* reality, and that’s difficult to challenge. But step one would be telling the truth. Odds are that if he’s abusing anabolic steroids, he won’t seek help until his life is in or damn near in shambles.
The last story is so sweet and cute I’m glad this video ended on a high note ❤️
That first story was absolutely horrifying. You think this is something that never happens, but…here it is. I’m so glad that brother, as young as he is, got the initiative to do something about it. That dad and grandmother deserve NO sympathy.
The lockbox may have triggered childhood trauma of him being deprived of food or his family being too poor to feed him.
He may have been abused and denied food in the past, that’s the only reason I can think that he would have such an irrational reaction.
On that first story: Hearing people say that crappy things being done is just "part of their culture" is completely bull. If it's part of the culture, then it needs to be stomped out. Slavery used to be a part of European culture for generations, but that shit got mostly stomped out. People realized that culture isn't an excuse to justify shitty actions, since everyone has a choice of what they do and don't do. Also, the amount of mothers that treat their daughters like that in Asian culture is appalling. You would think they would be the one's to realize how that shit feels, and wouldn't want it for their own kids. But I guess that's what happens when the "parents" think of their kids more as property than people
On that second story: That boyfriends sounds like he was on drugs, and a particular kind; Steroids. That crap makes people extremely aggressive and irrational, and I suspect this based on his reactions and OP saying he was a huge man, and went to the gym a lot. Steroids are a lot more dangerous than people realize. It's not just the health issues, but it's also the emotional issues of aggression that it resorts people to. It also causes the massive appetite as well, as it alters the body's metabolism. Either way, it's not their problem, so glad they got out of there.
Also, if it was “just part of the culture,” the family would’ve felt absolutely no need to be so secretive about it.
If it was “just part of the culture,” the family wouldn’t currently be facing prison sentences.
If it was “just part of the culture,” authorities wouldn’t have taken the time to look for OPs sister.
It’d almost as if… in 2022 …it’s no longer “just part of the culture.” 🤔
Second Story: My first thought was that the ex had food insecurity issues and was probably using steroids. Using a lockbox to prevent your food from being eaten is totally reasonable, but to someone who has trauma related to food it can be soul crushing and seem like the cruelest thing in the world. I've witnessed how irrational someone can be about it, and it kind of fits this situation. I also imagine it's steroids because I've personally been on them (due to health issues, yaaaay) and been absolutely ravenous.
Statistics say that steroids affects your metabolism and how your body deposits fat, which increases appetite and weight gain
The dude who went crazy over a food lockbox was definitely dealing with something. My first instinct would say he was on steroids but another option could be testosterone instead which would account for the instability and sheer rage. The thing that makes the most sense however would be him having a full blown eating addiction. It sounds strange but food addiction is a real thing and watching his girlfriend stop supporting his habit with the lockbox seems like it would be the equivalent of watching someone flush your stash of drugs down the toilet. For him to cycle through being angry to threatening to flattery and begging really fits the addiction route and since his focus was the lockbox it leads me to believe the vice of choice is food/eating.
I think it’s less of an addiction, more of a food insecurity. The way he reacted DEFINITELY sounds like someone who had food taken away as punishment during his childhood. That, or his family straight up couldn’t afford food, so he had to fight to protect what he did eat. That would also explain why he’d eat so quickly, especially if he had siblings. Food insecurity is a very big problem, and isn’t talked about nearly enough. A lot of people don’t even know that they’re struggling with it themselves. It can be so deeply rooted that they don’t even notice how aggressive they get when reacting to someone taking their food. Not only is it heavily linked to binge-eating disorder, it’s also linked to PTSD.
1st stroy: may the Grandma and Father forever wonder the 9 circles for what they did. Im glad Op managed to get help to find his sister
2nd story: its easy to jump to the conclusion that he was cheating or on drugs, but it could be that OPs Ex had controlling parents or a strict upbringing that could have resulted in thinking that snacks was the only things he could control
with regards to the second story's update: this is what my wife had to say, "gas-lighting, financial abuse, emotional manipulation, love bombing, physical abuse... one more red flag and you have a golf course!" I damn near sent bear out my nose!
Can I say it's nice to hear that the golden child doesn't tolerate the favoritism
The second story reminds me of my old roommate who had both BPD and a drug issue. I don't think he had a drug issue, but if he has a food-related disorder, the box could have set him off. My roommate was like that. We moved in together because she had been sober for over 6 months and things were going well until she relapsed (it wasn't the effect of the drugs, all she took was weed at first). Then it was a constant rollercoaster of emotional and verbal abuse and love bombing before I felt she was about to get physically abuse and left.
The third story made me happy with that happy plot twist! I hope they work out!
About that second story: the snack eating was probably a power move, and yeah, steroids could have played a part in it, but that's purely speculative since there are enough people who manage to be irrational arseholes completely without outside chemical influence. At first I was a bit worried that OP would make all sorts of excuses since this was allegedly the only area where he behaved in that manner - it probably wasn't, he was just better at hiding it - but when he flew off the handle with fits of rage and attempts at gaslighting after OP stopped him from asserting his dominance in this very convenient manner she fortunately saw that as all the red flags she needed.
People like the father and grandmother from the first story are the people that get murdered first day in prison.
Crooks and criminals have only one golden rule. You don't mess with kids. Jail would be their death sentence, no matter how short. And good riddence.
No one talks about the third story, but the fact that the woman was still thinking about that plastic bracelet gift shows that she's being spoiled. But yea, it was the BF's fault for acting weird instead of just saying that the cat owner canceled last minute. Lol funny story tho
Man that first story is insanely messed up, I really hope the sister gets therapy and can heal from what happened to her
I hope these parents get to be in a cell without windows for the rest of their life and never get to leave their cell outside a coffin...
#1 - He sold his own daughter? and his mother helped sell her own granddaughter? This is obviously a family culture where "girls don't count, except for their market value".
"Sold her to get married" - at what. 10-11? Her "husband" [aka owner] would have exercised his marital prerogatives on a literal child.
Kudos to the Redditor who helped OP.
#2 - "what's yours is mine" even if it was bought for you and set aside for you. He clearly has control issues, and his subsequent tantrums reinforce how fwagile his ickle ego is.
One thing I love about the first story, is that the OP, despite having everything given to him, never turned into an entitled brat and always payed attention to how unfair his sister was treated. Very kind soul.
Story 1, OP is such brave kid for protecting his sister. Hopefully grandma and the father actually gets jail time for human trafficking.