It’s me sitting on my couch with my brunch and candle lit being “selfish.” My family is having a really hard time with this part of my journey and yet labels me an “enabler” when I’m holding one of them accountable and not catering to them all😂. It’s not an easy process, but we got this. I know the root- it’s the African, eldest daughter upbringing; the entitlement my entire family has to me is sickening. But, I’m a human being too and deserve space, gentleness.
Good luck sis!! As an eldest daughter myself I understand the struggle but keep putting yourself first. I just made the shift 2 years ago and damn- the amount of progress I’ve made towards my goals is more than the past 10 years combined. It’s truly life changing 🙌🏼
African family members are so entitled.I’m the youngest of 5 but it’s still the same. Now that I don’t cater to them anymore I feel the resentment but truthfully am feeling more peaceful within.I was stretching myself and didn’t even realize it cos I had done it for so long.
It’s not easy but putting yourself first doesn’t make you less of an empath or kind hearted. It takes time however to change our mindsets and create new habits 🙏🏽
I say start off slow- part of unlearning this is also struggling a lot. These are things that have been beaten into us for YEARS. So, give yourself grace as you mess up along the way- it’s ok to not always get it right at first.
I had to tell a friend I was to busy with work ( always said yes to everything and got taken advantage of) her answer to be was “ you need better work life balance“ then she didn’t message me back anymore. I can see what you mean you don’t owe them anything but they expect you to do whatever they want even if it puts you out. My other friend I explained I was busy told me congratulations on your business. Your real friends support you.
Finding this video and your channel has come at a very crucial time for me. For most of my life I have been a people pleaser. I am now learning to be selfish, pour into myself and set boundaries to maintain my happiness. People who are used to me not speaking up are pushing back but I’m so happy I am prioritizing myself. Thank you for your videos and all the knowledge you provide! ♥️
I couldn't agree more, living the selfish assertive life right here but it was a long long road to freedom! Even when I learnt to say No, I would still feel bad but now I'm good😇
Hey lovelies! This was a highly requested video, let me know what other topics you would like me to cover 🤎
It’s me sitting on my couch with my brunch and candle lit being “selfish.” My family is having a really hard time with this part of my journey and yet labels me an “enabler” when I’m holding one of them accountable and not catering to them all😂. It’s not an easy process, but we got this. I know the root- it’s the African, eldest daughter upbringing; the entitlement my entire family has to me is sickening. But, I’m a human being too and deserve space, gentleness.
Good luck sis!! As an eldest daughter myself I understand the struggle but keep putting yourself first. I just made the shift 2 years ago and damn- the amount of progress I’ve made towards my goals is more than the past 10 years combined. It’s truly life changing 🙌🏼
Yes to the deserving space and gentleness part! It’s truly a process but you have the self awareness and insight to you need for your journey 🙌🏽
I love this for you!!!! Honestly so amazing how productive you can be by putting yourself first 🙌🏽
African family members are so entitled.I’m the youngest of 5 but it’s still the same. Now that I don’t cater to them anymore I feel the resentment but truthfully am feeling more peaceful within.I was stretching myself and didn’t even realize it cos I had done it for so long.
It’s very hard to say No when you were born with a Golden heart. Always feeling sorry for others.
It’s not easy but putting yourself first doesn’t make you less of an empath or kind hearted. It takes time however to change our mindsets and create new habits 🙏🏽
I say start off slow- part of unlearning this is also struggling a lot. These are things that have been beaten into us for YEARS. So, give yourself grace as you mess up along the way- it’s ok to not always get it right at first.
THISSSSS 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
So true
I had to tell a friend I was to busy with work ( always said yes to everything and got taken advantage of) her answer to be was “ you need better work life balance“ then she didn’t message me back anymore. I can see what you mean you don’t owe them anything but they expect you to do whatever they want even if it puts you out. My other friend I explained I was busy told me congratulations on your business. Your real friends support you.
This is a perfect anecdote of why putting ourselves first is crucial! I’m glad you’re speaking up 🤎
Wow so eye opening.
Finding this video and your channel has come at a very crucial time for me. For most of my life I have been a people pleaser. I am now learning to be selfish, pour into myself and set boundaries to maintain my happiness. People who are used to me not speaking up are pushing back but I’m so happy I am prioritizing myself. Thank you for your videos and all the knowledge you provide! ♥️
It must be so liberating to hold the line and be firm with your boundaries, you should be proud of yourself 🙌🏽
I was called selfish growing up.
Praised for the other extreme being selfless.
And this sometimes shapes us into thinking we have to do more of what other people deem as ‘selfless’ whilst loving our selves LESS!
I couldn't agree more, living the selfish assertive life right here but it was a long long road to freedom! Even when I learnt to say No, I would still feel bad but now I'm good😇
Yes hun, It’s a journey and we have to constantly keep putting the work in!
Greats tips on people pleasing I have not heard before.Thanks!
Glad you found value in the tips 🤎
Great video. Great information, I use to be a people pleaser until I started putting myself first.❤
I love that for you hun, let’s keep priorities our needs so we can be better people for others 🙏🏽
Thanks for sharing 👑💕💕
Of course my darling, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🤎
Needed to hear this girl … thanks 👏🏼
Awwww thank you so much mama ✨
Thanks for the video Lorrie! Informative!💗💗
Awwww I’m glad you found it informative my darling 🤎
Great video 🥰✨💞
Thank you for watching my darling 🤎
Trying to beat nice girl syndrome rn😩💔
Oooo I hear you but keep at it because that’s not where it’s at 😫
❤
Thank you for watching my darling 🤎