I’m curious to know… What part of Nicole’s story do you resonate with the most? And what are your biggest takeaways from her journey? Let me know in the comments 👇🏼
Every part of Nicole's story was profound for me. I cried and laughed and felt for Nicole and thank her for her wonderful courage, honesty and strength .. I wonder if Nicole knows what an inspiration she is . Alex for your empathy, compassion, sensitivity and how you lighten moments with a lovely humour but never failing honesty .. everything about how you took this interaction forward.
The part that resonated with me was the process you used to help her, her willingness to be honest and changing her belief from “I can’t” to demonstrating that she can.
Her story and what matters in life resonated with me and that I took away the most. Through my Long COVID journey I have to learn what matters most in life and to appreciate the time I've given. I'm also quite young and trying to finish my bachelors, so this is very tough to handle with a limited battery and the trauma from earlier life holds me back in so many ways. It is very powerful to experience Nicole grasping the starboard and opening the sails to navigate her journey to a place of healing. I now notice that just holding myself back and saving energy is not the path of healing from Long COVID. The path is to enjoy the time which is given to me. Thaks a lot.
Letting others witness this woman's journey is a real gift to the world! We have all either been or could have been where she is at. We learn from each other as much as we do from therapists, etc. Thank you for choosing her and giving us a seat in the room too.
Thank you Nicole, Alex and his team… remembered me very much my long time of addiction when I was young … (bulimia) I would have liked to have a person as Alex that time … ❤
Wow Thankyou so much Nicole and Alex the whole video resonated with me 100%. At 55 years old I am just coming to realise how I have used alcohol to numb my emotions all my adult life. The traumas I have experienced are still blocking my capacity to experience and enjoy an intimate relationship and I know I need to do work on this but like Nicole experienced it is hard and painful. My overwhelming desire all the time is to run away, far away, but I fear life is moving on without me in it and I am not allowing myself the opportunity to feel and experience love despite my heartfelt desire for it. Work in progress but Thankyou for showing me the possibilities xx
Thank you Nicole for being so open and honest, and thank you Alex for guiding her with such compassion, yet firmness. I can and will take away a few lessons for my own life. I can 'wallow' in grief and sadness, or I can decide to let the past go, and move on remembering all the times I found strength to continue. Very grateful, Alex.
I absolutely love the scene where she breaks the board! Having her write, 'I Can't' on it and then seeing her break the board...was really metaphorically powerful. Putting that energy into using her body like that was visceral for me. I couldn't help noticing the place that she broke the piece of wood. One side of it became, 'I Can!!'
That was a real breakthrough, in more ways than one! I loved that. I loved what Alex said to her about living fully, not just surviving, and reclaiming the place in her that can fight. Those words give me so much encouragement! I lost my 12-year-old son to cancer many years ago so I could relate. I hope Nicole continues to do well.🙏 She's a courageous and loving lady!
This is compelling viewing. I have laughed, cried and been astonished by both Nicole's strength and the power of the therapeutic process Alex skilfully steers her through. Astonishing. Inspiring. Moving.
I was touched so much, when Nicole was in this struggle of believing or not believing in herself. I think, I will watch again, because it maybe a way out for my life.
I am crying while watching this. I really feel like we're sharing this pain. Different but just as strong. Sending love and hugs to my fellow South African ❤
Absolutely fabulous work, Alex, how you managed to keep Nicole commited that special weekend where she "wanted" to have some drinks. You didn't put toom much pressure on her but just enough to keep her going. You were moving on the edge there. I was really impressed! What a great move of you. And Nicole: I really loved, how honest you were with yourself and told Alex things throughout the journey even though you knew, that it was something, Alex didn't want to hear from time to time. You really stayed true to yourself. Great work, both of you!
I am so happy for Nicole. I admire her determination and strength. She now has an inner glow she did not have prior to her work and I know she will continue to shine from within. Thank you for sharing her journey with us.
I was looking forward to seeing this episode this week. I was in a very similar place self-medicating 4 years back. I used many things to do so from my teens until my 40's. I stopped only when I knew I would destroy myself and my relationship with my spouse and children, and their well-being, if I continued using numbing coping techniques through feeling the after-effects of my trauma. It is still not easy and I want to numb out to this day. It takes So much bravery, and it is definitely easier to see in others. Go Nicole! The episode was so very strong and the message of hope only if action is taken was amazing. We have to believe in ourselves first! ♥️
Alex and Nicole, wow, so damn powerful of both of you! Nicole, you've allowed so many to find freedom and understanding by allowing yourself this journey- I, personally, sincerely thank you with my whole being. Alex, learning under you remains a great gift in my life, and the lives of my clients.
Looking forward to this one. Inhabe so much unprocessed childhood trauma which jas led to addiction, depression, anxiety. I uave so much stuff i haven't dealt with and I'm afraid to go there like this woman. Food addiction, Codependency, love addiction. Always looking for something outside of me to give me the love i never uad growing up
Wow what a change. So powerful 💥so pleased for Nicole, I know her life will never be the same again. So impressed with Alex’s skills. and well done Marli for the song.
Aww made me cry on a few levels . I need to rewatch . Beautiful , strong lady Nicole ❤ ❤ . Alex is beyond amazing ❤ and such a gorgeous song and voice from Marli ❤ . Thank you for making the world better you guys , ( Oliver & Jeremiah too ) ❤ thank God for you xxx
@@oliverh8446 aww - miss you guys too ❤. I’m thinking of popping a black short haired wig on , growing two foot , and a beard , and applying for the next series of In Therapy under a different name . 😁 xx
Beautiful, powerful song sung by your daughter Alex :D you must be one proud papa. I always gain a lot of insights from watching your sessions. You have such a deep understanding on the different ways the psyche can interpret and process emotions, challenges and traumas. It's hard to explain the difference between you and other everyday therapists because I certainly don't want to downplay their efforts but its obvious that you've gone way beyond learning the typical knowledge in therapy and psychology and really deep dived...lived and breathed this work to deeply understand and connect to the purpose of our emotional nervous system. Your work and mission with your team feels very next level in terms of long term change with mental health...so full respect!! I used to get so mad at myself for certain emotional reactions that I couldn't control sometimes and that I'd find embarrassing and I'd always want to suppress and feel I was weak...especially if it would bubble up and burst out later and be irrational. But you've helped me understand the importance for the body to process the emotions and the difference being that we don't need to suppress, neither do we need to lash out...but we do need to feel and process the emotion...just to learn how to do it in a healthy way and that, that holds one of the keys for emotional regulation long term. So changing my associations to my emotions has helped me get on the track of stopping avoiding but also not lashing out either...but finding the middle ground. Of course there's more layers connected to it like understanding my own boundaries, what i allow and don't, challenging my beliefs around whether its okay to share with others when you struggle and what it means etc...so very much still a work in progress but its very refreshing to have someone teach others what and why our system does all this...as opposed to just handing out strategies. I think knowledge and understanding of why we think the way we do is absolutely priceless!!
So true that all the talking we do not have kind of impact that a simple action has. The combination of top down and bottom up is so powerful! I am therapist and I would like to try the board technique with my client. Wondered if you prepped them on technique before they attempted. In order to not injure their hand?? Also wanted to complement you on your production, which really enhances the content.
Thanks for the kind words 🙏 yes I gave some basic instruction to avoid injury and to help with follow through, but I deliberately didn’t overdo that because I wanted the sense of jeopardy to be high because they the breakthrough meant more… ie if we’d give too slow it would have been less impactful 👍
Amazing video Alex. I’m inspired by your work! As a first year therapy student, I’m looking more and more to working with trauma. Maybe I’ll be on your trauma coaching course in the future? So happy for Nicole that’s she’s now got a bright future to look forward to. Keep posting videos - they are such a great resource for upcoming therapists.
LOL - we have tissues on the table next to the chair in the therapy room, it was a little trickier by the canal... however, I'm also very careful and strict with the crew about not offering tissues in key moments as it can really interrupt the process....
watched this with tears flowing.lost our stillborn son Timothy in 1993.we had no one to catch us .makes me think its not too late to talk about it or im being silly by it still hurting(all be it in a private space).thank you.
@AlexHowardTherapy So I've just finished watching and am so moved by Nicole and her strength. Thank you for sharing her progress. As for the format. You've tightened it up so much! I think, for getting In Therapy out there to as many people as possible, this works well. It's nicely sectioned and holds enough teachable moments without being overwhelming. Personally, I looooove long-form content and all things therapy, so I do really miss the older series but I am aware that that is pretty niche (and that the viewership declines sharply as the episodes go on). Good job and thanks again. You remind me of my trauma therapist in the best way possible. It's really nice to be able to listen to you at will, as so much is forgotten in the therapy room 😅
Thanks for the kind words… yes we’ve given a lot of thought to the format… this felt most appropriate for Nicole’s story, we are about to start filming again in April and still sitting with exactly how to approach future stories 🙏
Antidepressants numb the pain as much as alcohol and doesn't help either - even worse, on them for life as withdraws coming off are devastating as are the side effects loss my wife of 13 yrs 8 1 23 to cancer in 3 mths, i almost got on depressants n quit after 4 days twice, better to feel emotions of grief n go through it...
Anti-depressants can have their place, and yes its also important to do the inner work of healing. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and send you positive thoughts for healing
I’m curious to know… What part of Nicole’s story do you resonate with the most? And what are your biggest takeaways from her journey? Let me know in the comments 👇🏼
Every part of Nicole's story was profound for me. I cried and laughed and felt for Nicole and thank her for her wonderful courage, honesty and strength .. I wonder if Nicole knows what an inspiration she is . Alex for your empathy, compassion, sensitivity and how you lighten moments with a lovely humour but never failing honesty .. everything about how you took this interaction forward.
So glad you found helpful, and I’m sure Nicole will read your comment and appreciate 🙏
I can't *stamps my foot and self harms
The part that resonated with me was the process you used to help her, her willingness to be honest and changing her belief from “I can’t” to demonstrating that she can.
Her story and what matters in life resonated with me and that I took away the most. Through my Long COVID journey I have to learn what matters most in life and to appreciate the time I've given. I'm also quite young and trying to finish my bachelors, so this is very tough to handle with a limited battery and the trauma from earlier life holds me back in so many ways. It is very powerful to experience Nicole grasping the starboard and opening the sails to navigate her journey to a place of healing. I now notice that just holding myself back and saving energy is not the path of healing from Long COVID. The path is to enjoy the time which is given to me.
Thaks a lot.
Incredibly brave to do this in front of cameras. There's strength to change in there for sure.
Nicole you’ve got your own life back. Alex helped you with the steps. All the best for the future. Love and light to you all. ❤❤❤❤
Thanks for watching 🙂
Letting others witness this woman's journey is a real gift to the world! We have all either been or could have been where she is at. We learn from each other as much as we do from therapists, etc. Thank you for choosing her and giving us a seat in the room too.
Glad you enjoyed it and found useful!
This was beautiful. You can almost see the immediate shift when she got her spark back which was so heartwarming.
That's hard stuff to listen to as it's a bit close to home for me.
Love the way you tackle this issues Alex. ❤
Keeping you in my prayers Nicole 💗🙏☺️
🙏
Great work, Alex 👌
Thank you Nicole, Alex and his team… remembered me very much my long time of addiction when I was young … (bulimia) I would have liked to have a person as Alex that time … ❤
Glad you found helpful 👍
Love Alex... Well done Nicole...❤
Thanks 🙏
Thanks!
Love your gentleness, Alex.
Gentle, but strong. ❤
Wow Thankyou so much Nicole and Alex the whole video resonated with me 100%. At 55 years old I am just coming to realise how I have used alcohol to numb my emotions all my adult life. The traumas I have experienced are still blocking my capacity to experience and enjoy an intimate relationship and I know I need to do work on this but like Nicole experienced it is hard and painful. My overwhelming desire all the time is to run away, far away, but I fear life is moving on without me in it and I am not allowing myself the opportunity to feel and experience love despite my heartfelt desire for it. Work in progress but Thankyou for showing me the possibilities xx
Thank you Nicole for being so open and honest, and thank you Alex for guiding her with such compassion, yet firmness. I can and will take away a few lessons for my own life. I can 'wallow' in grief and sadness, or I can decide to let the past go, and move on remembering all the times I found strength to continue. Very grateful, Alex.
I'm so glad you found it helpful 🙂
I absolutely love the scene where she breaks the board! Having her write, 'I Can't' on it and then seeing her break the board...was really metaphorically powerful. Putting that energy into using her body like that was visceral for me. I couldn't help noticing the place that she broke the piece of wood. One side of it became, 'I Can!!'
I know - we couldn't quite believe where the break was.... if this was scripted you'd think it wouldn't be believable!!
Absolutely!🥰 Way to go FULL COMMITMENT ❤
That was a real breakthrough, in more ways than one! I loved that. I loved what Alex said to her about living fully, not just surviving, and reclaiming the place in her that can fight. Those words give me so much encouragement! I lost my 12-year-old son to cancer many years ago so I could relate. I hope Nicole continues to do well.🙏 She's a courageous and loving lady!
Well done Nicole keep it up ❤❤
Thanks for watching 🙂
This is compelling viewing. I have laughed, cried and been astonished by both Nicole's strength and the power of the therapeutic process Alex skilfully steers her through. Astonishing. Inspiring. Moving.
I was touched so much, when Nicole was in this struggle of believing or not believing in herself.
I think, I will watch again, because it maybe a way out for my life.
So glad you found helpful 😊
Meant to add Alex I really love the song - your daughter is very talented - well done Marli 😊
I'm here cheering her on. Let go Nicole
Thanks ❤
I wish this kind of “real life” stuff was on TV instead of the usualmindless shows
I am crying while watching this. I really feel like we're sharing this pain. Different but just as strong. Sending love and hugs to my fellow South African ❤
So glad you found helpful and were moved by it 🙂
How brave Nicole was to do this and to keep going despite how difficult it was. I’m so happy the work she and Alex did has given her her life back!!
Thanks Rachel!
Absolutely fabulous work, Alex, how you managed to keep Nicole commited that special weekend where she "wanted" to have some drinks. You didn't put toom much pressure on her but just enough to keep her going. You were moving on the edge there. I was really impressed! What a great move of you.
And Nicole: I really loved, how honest you were with yourself and told Alex things throughout the journey even though you knew, that it was something, Alex didn't want to hear from time to time. You really stayed true to yourself.
Great work, both of you!
Thanks for your kind words 🙏
I am so happy for Nicole. I admire her determination and strength. She now has an inner glow she did not have prior to her work and I know she will continue to shine from within. Thank you for sharing her journey with us.
Thank you for watching and commenting ❤
Well done Nicole 👏
Thanks for watching!
I'm so happy for Nicole and her new found discovery and finally getting her footing on the path of her healing journey and her new life choices 💗☺️🦋
Thank you Amy 🙂
I was looking forward to seeing this episode this week. I was in a very similar place self-medicating 4 years back. I used many things to do so from my teens until my 40's. I stopped only when I knew I would destroy myself and my relationship with my spouse and children, and their well-being, if I continued using numbing coping techniques through feeling the after-effects of my trauma. It is still not easy and I want to numb out to this day. It takes So much bravery, and it is definitely easier to see in others. Go Nicole! The episode was so very strong and the message of hope only if action is taken was amazing. We have to believe in ourselves first! ♥️
Thank you for sharing, well done for doing the hard work ❤
Alex and Nicole, wow, so damn powerful of both of you! Nicole, you've allowed so many to find freedom and understanding by allowing yourself this journey- I, personally, sincerely thank you with my whole being. Alex, learning under you remains a great gift in my life, and the lives of my clients.
Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it 🙂
So beautiful. So authentic. So powerful.
Bless you Nicole and thank you for inspiring us.
Thanks Siti - so glad to hear how it impacted you :-)
Looking forward to this one. Inhabe so much unprocessed childhood trauma which jas led to addiction, depression, anxiety. I uave so much stuff i haven't dealt with and I'm afraid to go there like this woman. Food addiction, Codependency, love addiction. Always looking for something outside of me to give me the love i never uad growing up
Sorry to hear of your struggles... let us know what you think and if the film is helpful :-)
@@AlexHowardTherapyIt's been amazing. I learned so much about myself. I'm so happy for her.
How do people get to work with you
My team work at www.theoptimumhealthclinic.com I personally only take people on as part of a 9 month intensive mentorship program 👍
@@AlexHowardTherapywhat does that mean? How can I find more details about working with you.
Details here www.alexhoward.com/mentorship-program
This was amazing to witness. I hope you can continue your work Alex. Some people really need this now.
Thank you - no plans to stop anytime soon!
❤❤❤❤
Thanks for watching!
You are amazing
Wow what a change. So powerful 💥so pleased for Nicole, I know her life will never be the same again. So impressed with Alex’s skills. and well done Marli for the song.
Thanks Paul, means a lot ❤
Aww made me cry on a few levels . I need to rewatch . Beautiful , strong lady Nicole ❤ ❤ . Alex is beyond amazing ❤ and such a gorgeous song and voice from Marli ❤ . Thank you for making the world better you guys , ( Oliver & Jeremiah too ) ❤ thank God for you xxx
Thanks Hayley 🙂
Miss you Hayley!
@@oliverh8446 aww - miss you guys too ❤. I’m thinking of popping a black short haired wig on , growing two foot , and a beard , and applying for the next series of In Therapy under a different name . 😁 xx
Wow ! Powerful !
Thank you Alex !
All the best to you Nicole in your journey of a peaceful life !
❤️🙏
Thank you ❤
Beautiful, powerful song sung by your daughter Alex :D you must be one proud papa. I always gain a lot of insights from watching your sessions. You have such a deep understanding on the different ways the psyche can interpret and process emotions, challenges and traumas. It's hard to explain the difference between you and other everyday therapists because I certainly don't want to downplay their efforts but its obvious that you've gone way beyond learning the typical knowledge in therapy and psychology and really deep dived...lived and breathed this work to deeply understand and connect to the purpose of our emotional nervous system. Your work and mission with your team feels very next level in terms of long term change with mental health...so full respect!! I used to get so mad at myself for certain emotional reactions that I couldn't control sometimes and that I'd find embarrassing and I'd always want to suppress and feel I was weak...especially if it would bubble up and burst out later and be irrational. But you've helped me understand the importance for the body to process the emotions and the difference being that we don't need to suppress, neither do we need to lash out...but we do need to feel and process the emotion...just to learn how to do it in a healthy way and that, that holds one of the keys for emotional regulation long term. So changing my associations to my emotions has helped me get on the track of stopping avoiding but also not lashing out either...but finding the middle ground. Of course there's more layers connected to it like understanding my own boundaries, what i allow and don't, challenging my beliefs around whether its okay to share with others when you struggle and what it means etc...so very much still a work in progress but its very refreshing to have someone teach others what and why our system does all this...as opposed to just handing out strategies. I think knowledge and understanding of why we think the way we do is absolutely priceless!!
Thank you so much for your kind and heartfelt words, I really appreciate it 🙏 and thanks for sharing your experience ❤️
It was powerful! All the best for you Nicole! ❤️You deserve the best in life. Thank you Alex for the valuable content. 🙏
Thanks for watching and the kind words ❤
That was wonderful, going through my own trauma therapy journey there a a lot here which hit home. Thank you and good luck Nicole
Thanks for watching - glad it was helpful 🙂
Thank you for this video!
💚
So true that all the talking we do not have kind of impact that a simple action has. The combination of top down and bottom up is so powerful! I am therapist and I would like to try the board technique with my client. Wondered if you prepped them on technique before they attempted. In order to not injure their hand?? Also wanted to complement you on your production, which really enhances the content.
Thanks for the kind words 🙏 yes I gave some basic instruction to avoid injury and to help with follow through, but I deliberately didn’t overdo that because I wanted the sense of jeopardy to be high because they the breakthrough meant more… ie if we’d give too slow it would have been less impactful 👍
Amazing video Alex. I’m inspired by your work! As a first year therapy student, I’m looking more and more to working with trauma. Maybe I’ll be on your trauma coaching course in the future? So happy for Nicole that’s she’s now got a bright future to look forward to. Keep posting videos - they are such a great resource for upcoming therapists.
So glad you are finding helpful - we'd love to have you on one of our programs at some point in the future 🙂
Thank you Alex! Your book It’s not your fault is being delivered today. Very excited to read it.
Really powerful work - both of you! But do you have any tissue for this poor woman???
LOL - we have tissues on the table next to the chair in the therapy room, it was a little trickier by the canal... however, I'm also very careful and strict with the crew about not offering tissues in key moments as it can really interrupt the process....
Looking forward to this!
Let us know what you think 👍
watched this with tears flowing.lost our stillborn son Timothy in 1993.we had no one to catch us .makes me think its not too late to talk about it or im being silly by it still hurting(all be it in a private space).thank you.
@@eirianmeredith7617 I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm glad this helped you honour your feelings ❤
@AlexHowardTherapy So I've just finished watching and am so moved by Nicole and her strength. Thank you for sharing her progress.
As for the format. You've tightened it up so much! I think, for getting In Therapy out there to as many people as possible, this works well. It's nicely sectioned and holds enough teachable moments without being overwhelming.
Personally, I looooove long-form content and all things therapy, so I do really miss the older series but I am aware that that is pretty niche (and that the viewership declines sharply as the episodes go on).
Good job and thanks again. You remind me of my trauma therapist in the best way possible. It's really nice to be able to listen to you at will, as so much is forgotten in the therapy room 😅
Thanks for the kind words… yes we’ve given a lot of thought to the format… this felt most appropriate for Nicole’s story, we are about to start filming again in April and still sitting with exactly how to approach future stories 🙏
Antidepressants numb the pain as much as alcohol and doesn't help either - even worse, on them for life as withdraws coming off are devastating as are the side effects
loss my wife of 13 yrs 8 1 23 to cancer in 3 mths, i almost got on depressants n quit after 4 days twice, better to feel emotions of grief n go through it...
Anti-depressants can have their place, and yes its also important to do the inner work of healing. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and send you positive thoughts for healing