HTSM (So Far) #73 LOVING Someone With A MENTAL HEALTH Condition and MARK Makes A DIFFICULT Decision
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
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Good conversation. I just wish that Mark had been allowed to talk more without interruption. As someone who has been suffering with post traumatic depression and anxiety, when I try to talk about it, loved ones do the same to me. It’s great to hear from both sides, but passing the baton would have been better. Give each other the floor, especially Nadia give it to Mark. Love your RUclips lives, but would have loved to see more 50/50 participation on this one.
Totally agree
Dear Mark and Nadia. This podcast was amazing. As you know I suffer from depression and anxiety. Nadia you are mark’s absolute rock and I had a husband like that who was my rock, but since his death in 2018, my mum has now been my rock and also my best friend, I couldn’t of done any of it without them. Mark, I am so proud of you and so pleased that you recognise that you are struggling, it’s never easily. It took me a long time to realise I needed help, I thought I could cope how wrong was I when I started to have suicidal thoughts and change in my behaviour especially after my husbands death. Stay strong and don’t forget the subs and family guests are here for you both as well xxx
Thank you both so much for being so open while discussing this. It's such a tough subject to open up and you are blessed you can have these in depth chats with eachother.
Mark I felt your weariness in this chat today... Have you had counselling to discuss your experiences in your childhood? I can't help but feel that the uncertainty you experienced as a child will be contributing to your anxieties today. One of my close family members is going through the exact same thing at the moment, and has taken the step to talk to a professional. You've done the best and hardest thing by saying out loud that you need some support - which we all do from time to time. Hoping you get the help you need. Thinking of you both. Much love xx
In a bid to reduce my anxiety and low mood I reduced my phone/online/social media usage by about 90%, and I have to say it’s really helped. Mark, I fully appreciate a lot of your work is via social media (and thank goodness as you guys got me through a stressful lockdown working as a carer), but I wonder if it may be working against you at times. You know what’s best for you, and I say this with love and compassion, but only going on social media for 15 mins a day maximum has made me feel calmer, less anxious and more connected in my world around me.
This edition of HTSM was the best yet. I am sure it is no consolation, but a friend of mine who is a Director at MIND says that the increase in Mental Health issues has has more than double during Covid. I totally associate with hanging on by ones nails, My ments have been worse during all of this, but thankfully not had to return to meds, yet. It is vital that you continue to discuss these things #Mark, as so many of feel isolated and alone with our issue. Ironically, though I balled my eyes out during this, it felt better to know someone else knows these feelings. I do not doubt my anxiety and depression will always be that bastard thing trying to fuck with my head, but quietening him give me some succor. So thanks again for all you do, and know that it is appreciated x
I have only 'discovered' you relatively recently and just feeling your inclusivity is helpful to me. My depression stems from loneliness and I avoid making friends for fear of visiting my depression on them. I've always felt that depression and loneliness give off its own kind of whiff that most people want to avoid. I'm grateful for having the chance to watch your family interact, laugh, have fun, bicker, shout and enjoy your creative activities. I've particularly loved the holiday videos. You all have tremendous generosity of spirit and terrific empathy and humanity. Please, don't ever go away.
Well that’s cheered me up ! Thanks for making me cry 😢
A room with curtains drawn , a comfortable bed , soft music and pj’s and no stress put on you to come out of that room ( you can stay in it for days if you want too) works wonders for me ..... my partner feeds and waters me in that room until I’m ready to come out and play again .......... my partner never questions me, thankfully he loves his own space too ...........then we come together and have a laugh about life and it’s struggles, no pressure on either side, do what you feel you need to do and then move on ... try thinking positive, move forward don’t think back....... deep breaths and live🙏🏻
Wow .. just wow.. I would find it so hard to do taht . I would want to keep asking Mark if he was ok ! Thank you x
This was a very brave thing to discuss and out there, so hats off to you both! Would have been good to hear a little more analysis of your reaction Nadia, to Marks down days, you touched on it a little! I’ve noticed that when Mark is struggling you become very upbeat and try to stay very positive which I totally understand because you’re trying to help him. I also can see that you’re a naturally cheerful positive person but this goes beyond that I think. Over time, this actually comes across as anxiety of your own, with almost manic cheerfulness and Mark then having resurfaced, you are actually still in that place where you’re almost over the top cheerful and not wanting to talk about anything which could have a negative spin or ‘bad news’. Mark then gets frustrated and down because he can’t finish his thought (not realising why you’re changing the subject) and so the cycle continues!! I hope you guys don’t mind me making these observations, but it’s just something I’ve noticed, and I suppose I just wanted to say that I think there is an element of you both feeding the problem, whilst both having the best of intentions to sort it out!! Just my thoughts, best wishes xx
Thank you for this chat
I've realised lots of things after having counselling unfortunately I had 2 months counselling and then had to have a break for two because of the NHS system I'm now nearly at the end of another 2 months counselling , it has helped a lot with suppressed feelings, but it's not something that is going to be fixed overnight- it has helped talking to a professional too , I'm lucky I have a good rapport with my counsellor and feel I can express anything to him
It's good that you've decided that you're going to speak to the doctor Mark , that takes a lot of courage , I kept saying I'm fine , it was my friend who made me realise I wasn't
You're both such a strong couple in lots of different ways - warriors
💜💜🐝🌈xx
Wow this was just so powerful. From someone who has suffered from panic attacks before and from having a father who suffers depression and had very dark times with him it’s great to hear both sides please guys never change and be as open as you both can cos you are changing the stigma to show we should be talking about this more ❤️❤️❤️❤️
You two are clearly trying to help others and it's great if that happens to help yourselves too. I'm sure that Mark is emotionally intelligent enough to have sufficient clarity to see if he is being manipulated in to the guilty roll, but others may not be , so CD' s point could be relevant for someone reading it. The honesty in this is heart warming and I wish some of my clients had families like yours to reflect on their recovery with. Xx
What an amazing conversation. You have explained how interactions within a relationship work. It’s definitely not just about the illness , it’s the overall impact on everyone and everything. I hope you both get the support you require 💕
I know how difficult and frustrating it is Mark. I suffer with virtually the same diagnosis as you, and have done since 1990. The highs are not pleasant at all, it’s like mental mania. Too many thoughts spiralling out of control. The lows are dark and painful. Thanks so much for being so open with us Mark. You’ve no idea how much it helps me.🤍xxx
I think there is a big difference between having a bad day and being in the depth of depression when you are so bad you don't get out of bed because you fear everything and can't function... So there are many levels... some you are aware of yourself.... and others are what your friends and family are aware of without you being '' Aware''.....OH NADIA I FEEL FOR YOU💔 BECAUSE YOU WANT TO MAKE IT RIGHT... JUST LOVE HIM ❤️I KNOW YOU AND THE GIRLS ARE THE BEST THING FOR MARK ❤️ask the doctor about GABERPENTIN BECAUSE THAT WON'T MAKE YOU FEEL DRUGGED UP... I FIND IT HELPS ME THE GABA PART IN THE BRAIN JUST NEEDS A LITTLE TWEEK......I find it keeps me in the middle.....
@@sandimoo.. I take the GABERPENTIN FOR NERVE PAIN TOO IT MUST BE VERY SIMALAR.TO YOURS .(gaba means brain so it's already in the title) . AND I RESEARCH AND THEY USE FOR MILD DEPRESSION. AND ... ALSO IT JUST TRICKS THE BRAIN TO SWITCH THE PAIN OFF SO I REALLY FIND IT IS A BONUS AS WELL WITH MOOD... I HAVE SAID ABOUT IT BEFORE BECAUSE I DON'T THINK MARK NEEDS FULL BLOWN MEDS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL ZOMBIE LIKE... SO HOPE HE READS OUR MESSAGES.@asks the DOCTOR... STAY SAFE ❤️💋..
Omg guys!!!!!! This is absolutely fabulous!! I really hope that as, many people who need to hear this, get to hear it. I hold my hat off to you guys and send you massive hugs xx
Sending both of you a huge hug. Don’t we wish we could wave a magic wand and make depression and anxiety disappear. All we can remember is whatever our self critic is saying to us, we have people in our lives that love us and that is the reason we make ourselves get up each day. Lots of love to you both and thank you for another fantastic how to stay married. Xxxx
I can relate to you both so much and from each of your perspectives. I have been at one stage on the side of going through a bad a depression and now I’m in Nadia’s situation of having someone you love dear who is suffering from (in my situation, severe depression and anxiety) As the person who is witnessing a loved one going through mental pain and suffering, it is awful. Truly awful. (It is not as painful as for the person who is suffering, of course) but your heart breaks daily, you tiptoe on egg shells - you don’t want to say the wrong thing, you worry sick about them, you fear that if you’re not around they might hurt themselves. Sometimes the person who is ill expects you to be a mind reader and you are left with silence and a low mood in the room. The silence treatment is not helpful. It is so much better to be open and honesty with your feelings, to let your loved one in. Say ‘I’m feeling in utter hell. I hate everyone. I feel so low and unable to be happy etc’ that is so much better for the loved one who support you not to be left in the dark. Mark, you are so very brave to accept help and get a check up on different meds. It is not accepting failure or weakness to accept medication. It is an illness that deserves treatment. I wish my loved one would go on anti depressants. I can’t bring up the subject because I’m met with defensiveness and denial. You are doing the right thing for your family Mark. I pray and hope that my loved one will realise that they need help. I don’t like living in fear in case the worst happens and I get a phone call. I need my loved one to get help for my own happiness. As Nadia said ‘it’s no one’s fault’ it just IS. These discussions are so very helpful. Thank you so much for getting involved in the discussion, your honesty, and sharing what must be real personal, heavy issues x you’re so lucky you have each other and you’re helping people on your channel who may not have a partner or close friend in their lives x
I’ve got so much respect for you both doing this it’s such a hard subject to talk about 😘
Just listened to this now. I feel like this all the time Mark depressed and anxious . I feel terrible how I know it effects my family and feel so guilty and upset about it but I can't change the way I am which leads to me feeling worse and more anxious. I feel anxious all the time.... I have developed psoriasis from it as well. I have social anxiety which has stopped me from living my life along with depression ive just broken down . I still live at home at this age which has cut me up with embarrassment. I can't afford to live on my own. I feel embarrassed about the person I am and the let down I am to my family which I know for a fact I am. I also feel my mothers embarrassment when people ask her how I am. I could go on and on... I am also trying to find a job during feeling the way I am. Some say just get on with it like, and say if I was your age I'd be doing this and that which kills me inside. I take medication pregabalin and Veneflaxine 💊. It stops me from snapping at people around me and my head doesn't go into dark places deeply but I still go to them dark places. Its an effort every day it makes me so tired and drained. Its like im spinning round and round on a waltzer and can't get off even though I want to its impossible. Im lost...Mark I have noticed you have been feeling depressed the light has gone out behind your eyes, its like your just going through the motions. You look tuned out a bit I thought even though your not if that makes sense. You just look like you need a big long and meaningful hug. So im sending you one 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
Thanks Mark and Nadia 💕 💕 💕 sending you a big hug 2 Nadia 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗I understand how you are feeling Nadia because I can see it in my mother. Love you both💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕I Respect you both for chatting about this subject ☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh yeah im so happy you are going to go get some help Mark 🤗
✌️😘✌️☮️🌈💖🦋💕🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
@@maureenb6095 aww thank you so much Maureen 💕 💕 💕 I love that we have become friends. I love that your an Irish American 🥰 🥰 🥰 with ancestry where im from 😲Maureen your a lovely kind caring person 2. 💖💖💖You always send me such lovely messages. Sending you lots of love and hugs 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 ❤️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘💞💞💞Xx
I have bipolar disorder mark,its so frustrating that a mental illness can be seen as a weakness or a choice.
yep I have mental health issues too ... easy to hate the woman
I’m not sure we realise how much it can impact the people around us especially when we are absorbed by the illness.. it’s so tough. I’m recovering from anorexia & It destroyed my long term relationship & still gaining the trust bk with all my family . You become that person & a little selfish to some degree. I never realised the pain & suffering I caused my mum & the blame my dad put on himself . Talking more now & that has helped but really opened my eyes to how it’s affected other. You guys always lovely to listen to & appreciate everything u do x x x
♥️
This was so powerful to watch- thank you.
Mark, I relate so much to your resistance and anger towards diagnostics and labels, and also what you spoke about this morning on coffee moaning about your fear that medication would clip the good bits, ‘the highs’ as well as the lows. I have suffered with mental health problems for many years, and recently I have been offered different medications, but, I too do not want to subdue or numb the energised positive bits, and I fear drugs may do this, especially as I am creative and need that energy in order to create.
I have had a lot of input and support over the years from psychology services, and I wanted to encourage you that if medication isn’t something you feel is right for you, that there are some brilliant practitioners working in the system, though the wait is sometimes long. I have met some gifted healers on the NHS, and if the dynamic is right, it can be so helpful.
One other avenue that I have found to be the incredibly therapeutic is transpersonal psychotherapy. It doesn’t approach the person as a diagnosis or a problem, but more as a soul in pain, and it has a spiritual and creative dimension to it that is very empowering and healing. Out of all of the approaches, I have found this one to be the most beneficial. It’s much gentler than Cognitive behavoural therapy. I like you, was frightened of myself, and I found it hard to be alone, but it was a transpersonal psychotherapist the really helped me soften that dynamic within myself, and it’s much easier now to be alone in a friendly way.
It might not be for you, but if it were something of interest, the best way to find a trained and regulated practitioner is via the UKCP website. If you go onto it, you can search therapists in the area you live. It really is a wonderful approach to healing and recovery. I would recommend it to anyone. Private therapists do cost a bit though, but our health is worth the spend. All the best going forward.
Thank you for having such an open and honest coversation about this subject. I have been dealing with anxiety and depression all my life, and Nadia it's helpful hearing your loved ones perspective and how it is fo them. Mark, thank you for talking so honestly, I hope you find the right help that suits you💚💚
Really honest and raw discussion . Honestly just want to thank you both so much for speaking out and bringing so much normality to mental health stuff . I love that you use your platform for so much good .. I’ve probably told you this before but way back when you did your “ how you are feeling “ videos I remember watching them at a really dark time in my life and the conversations really gave me strength and really pulled me out of a dark hole I was in at the time .... I really thank you so much for that .. 💛
It’s so important to hear it from both sides .. someone who suffers and someone who lives with someone who suffers ... it’s so bloody exhausting for both ..
Mark I really feel you ... it’s so so difficult ... depression is so so draining and exhausting and a darkness like no other ... for you to say you need that extra help is a huge strength . It’s so hard when you want to be present with your family and friends but you are in such a low and going through a dark “ episode “ ... i feel for my sister sometimes when I am going through that and I get so irritable with her but I have to just wait until the Episode is over ...
It’s only one part of us and it doesn’t define us ... we are all so much more ... we aren’t defined by our struggle . One thing I will say to is I completely disagree with what Matt haig said about it being boring about speaking out ... I think we need to keep talking and days like this I feel are so important ... they help people speak up and keep the conversation going and we need that bigtime !!
One day at a time ....
Love you both very much ... 💛💛 xxxxx
Thankyou for being so open & honest about how depression & anxiety affects you both - This has been a very helpful vlog for me as a sufferer of anxiety and (previous periods of depression) I live alone and dont have any support from a partner or family (I dont talk to my family about it - as the dont understand -and just change the subject when I do talk about my illness) Mark & Nadia I wish you both love, light & hope that you find the path easier going forward. 🥰🙏
Watching this a third time. Its sense of humanity is exemplary.
Oh my! U both r such a gift to us - ur authenticity and openness is heroic. We can see just how painful it can be at times and I wish u both health and wholeness in bucketloads! I work in the field of MH and u r breaking down so many barriers and misconceptions. U r both twinkle twinkle inspiring stars! Take the very best of care. We love u xxxx
Jill ! I’ve just read this out to Mark. Thank you so much . How lovely of you x
Thank you Mark and Nadia these talks help me so much. My mum died of alcoholism when I was 11. My childhood was very disrupted. I’m still constantly on high alert. My anxiety stops me doing things which leads to feelings of guilt, of being pathetic etc which then leads to depression. I struggle daily, I too mask it with humour but some days it’s exhausting. Im so grateful to you both for being so honest. xx
Awwww Karen thank you so much for sharing . We are sorry you have had to endure so much x
Have you ever tried mood stabilizers Mark? My husband takes a concoction of four psych meds (lithium, quetiapine, duloxetine and mirtazipine) . They have saved his life but for ten years he tried citalopram and a few others. They did nothing, plus he was self medicating with alcohol. Once he FINALLY got properly diagnosed and a brilliant psychiatrist put the concoction together. They have saved him. He had a horrific childhood with sexual abuse at such a young age and for SO many years he has C-PTSD, and that means he really is mentally crippled, and will be for life, so it may not sound to many that the meds have helped, but even though our life is very limited as long as we are in our lovely rural village and he literally has no stress invading his safe zone, the meds allow him some stability.
Thank you both for this. I am currently very resistant to getting the help I need and keep feeling I should "just get on with it" which I do. But sooner or later I feel I'll run out of road. I don't want to be labelled either because as you explain so well Mark, it's just a part of what you are and diagnosis can change with time and circumstances. Take care both of you. xx
Mark I understand what you are saying. I have had depression for years and looking back I had it as a child because of my childhood. I had councilling a few years ago through the haven which was helping then the funding was pulled. My doctors sent me for cbt but I didn't like that it sent my anxiety through the roof. My kids struggle with my depression so when I am bad I close myself of from family and friends because I don't want to be miserable around them and do try to put on a happy show in front of people. At the moment I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm not good at articulating myself so close of.Mark you are lucky Nadia trys to understand and is concerned. Some days I think why am I bothering iv had enough I am scared to carry on living but I tell myself it will pass. My daughter tells me depression is very selfish thing and she can tell when I'm trying to hide it. At these times we usually end up having words and I stay away for 2 wks. Iv said before my ex husband use to tell me to top myself because I was no use to anyone like that but I still ran everything to do with the house and had a hair salon so smiled and listened to everyone else's problems all day so when I got home I just dropped the pretence I couldn't keep it up. At the minute living alone and in an are we cannot see people out of our homes is making me feelwhats the point but do tell myself I have a nice comfy home some don't have that.
Ok so this is a big share for me, my son has mental health he had problems from the day he was born, we struggled to get him help any help at all was such a battle. He was labelled with adhd, odd, ocd amongst many any other labels! He had special help at school, was under CAMHS. He wouldn’t engage with anyone, we sort every help available even went private but it was so difficult to get the right help and support for him. It was such a Strain on our family many attempts at taking his own life, and self harm physical harm and verbal abuse, to being sectioned drugs being arrested. All this ended in him not being allowed to live at home, which for a parent I never thought I’d be in a position where I couldn’t let my child live at home. I feel so guilty and I know it’s not the same, this was very extreme but I feel such relief that he doesn’t live here anymore, as the abuse was just to much for me to bare. I’d just like to say thank you to you both for talking so openly about this as it can be so hard at times, my family didn’t know how bad things were until it all came to a head. Much love to you both. ❤️❤️
Oh sweetie thank you for sharing . That was very brave of you . Sending you the biggest of hugs xx
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Thank you, it can be so difficult to talk about as you never know how people will react, as a lot of the time they don’t no what to say. May I also say well done Mark for being so open & honest, and Nadia I totally get where your coming from. xx
What remarkable people you are. I have the up most respect for you and your honesty xx
Nadia, when you said you don't know where Mark begins and ends, and where his illness begins and ends, and if he's depressed or anxious you aren't sure if it's the "illness" or just Mark having a bad day, it reminded me of something. One day, (many years ago, when I had ovaries!) I was in a mood about something. And my husband said, quite flipantly, "it must be the time of the month"). It absolutely infuriated me. Why? Because it was almost as if he was saying that my anger didn't count (i.e., if it WASN'T the time of the month I wouldn't be making such a fuss.) Whether it was or wasn't the time of the month, my anger was very real, and knowing whether it was one thing or the other would have made absolutely no dfference to the way I felt, or to the way he dealt with it. I don't know if that makes sense, but I think people should be permitted to feel sad, depressed, angry, whatever, without a label being attached to it, and others trying to justify it. Love you both. x
I do get what you are saying . Thank you xxxx
You don't know how much you have helped me and others thank you for this vlog xx
Hi Mark. I may have got this wrong but it seems to me you are seeing taking yourself out of the room when you need it to be the worst possible thing. I've been dealing with stuff lately that's sent my anxiety very high and I think has left me open to becoming frazzled very quickly. The other day I had that feeling at dinner when everything was just so irritating I just wanted to be left alone, I found the company of others draining. I said how I was feeling to my husband and he said "yes I can tell because inspite of your pleasant demeanor the things your saying are very snappy." I took myself up stairs for an hour and just hung out by myself and came back downstairs feeling completely different and enjoyed my evening. I am learning that endurance isnt always the best option.
Really understand how mark feels as this is me thankyou to u both x
This is going to for sure help so many people (couples) to understand how it must be for the other person when you feel worthless it can be so isolating and very hard to reach out to the people you love I know I've been there but seeing these discussions hopefully allows people to see that you never have to be alone x
You guys rock thank you for doing this about mental health xxx
As I suffer from depression and that your coffee mornings and lives help me a lot and talking to other subs and family members your the best for doing this Chanel xx
Neither of you deserve to feel this way - you’re such great people x respect for this convo + how much you address the importance of mental health on a daily basis, it helps so many others ❤️
You both speak with such openness thank you mental health is not fun 💗
Thanks Nadia and Mark for the raw truth you spoke in this video will help many
do hope you are also helped a little.
Thank you both from the bottom of my heart 💞💞💞💞
I really feel for you Mark having tried a few different anti depressants myself it feels like nothing is ever going to help you 💙
Thank you both!! This is amazing as per usual. You're so brave Mark ❤ I live on my own and sometimes struggle with mental health so much. I have really bad anxiety and depression. I've been on and off 'happy pills' since I was 18 y/o but I read somewhere that they can affect your fertility, which put me off them - so I'm not taking them - which freaked me out and I don't know whether it's true.. or not.. probably not but don't want to risk it as a twenty-five year old, and that all I want to be in life is a mum. (Maybe in a few more years). I had CBT over the phone which helped me alot at the beginning of lockdown, but I think I need a talk therapy and let things off my chest, although I am trying to use the tools which I have learnt to use within CBT, after coming out of quite a toxic relationship.. ☹🍂🍁 anway, thank yooouu!!! Xxx
I struggle sometimes as I have self-doubt, I'm not good enough and am too hard on myself.
I also strive for happiness
Wow! So emotional and so deeply personal. You have so much courage to speak like this, with such honesty on social media. Must make you feel very vulnerable. I have periods of dark depression and have had awful anxiety since childhood. I am having private counselling at the moment as my brother and sis in law are paying (sooooo lucky to have them). I’ve also started reading stuff by Eckhart Tolle and a book by Vex King. They are truly an eye-opener. I’m actually starting to feel ‘joy’ dare I say. I’ve a way to go and the reading is quite heavy (Tolle is, so is on Audible!). Really getting my mind in better shape though I never really thought it possible. My whole journey to this point started about 3 yrs ago when I came across your youtube channel. You have both helped me in countless ways. You and your families are all treasures. I’m so grateful that you do all these things for us. It truly is an honour to be one of your Family Guests.Thank you for all that you do. Mark, take some time off!! Let us know what the doc said. You’re both beautiful human beings, inside and out.😘😍❤️🌈
Mark I’m so pleased your going back to Doctors, hopefully u can get medication that helps this time.❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you as always for sharing so honestly. It’s really amazing that you are able to share this. Total respect to you both xxx
I have a diagnosis of anxiety and depression, and am 12 years in recovery. It’s debilitating and isolating at best and dark and hopeless is at its worst. It is hard for those around me at times, but I am trying to be more honest and say when I am having a period of mental illness. I’m finding the current pandemic feeds my need to isolate when I’m not feeling well which isn’t helpful as I can just excuse myself from life with what appears to be a valid reason. I guess it’s also about not giving yourself a tough time when you’re unwell and doing things to care for yourself - which is obviously easier said than done. I hope you talk to your GP soon Mark. Lots of Love to you both ❤️❤️❤️❤️xx
I left my story about postpartum sycosis underneath on the coffee moaning this morning... I really hope you get to READ IT.... I cannot bring myself to write it out again .... . THESE TALKS ARE SO GOOD LIKE THERAPY... TO ME....
I wish I could give you a hug 🤗
Your honesty is truly brilliant you are helping so many people with your honesty I love the way you both pull together and help each other I have a friend and who has depression she describes it as a roots of the tree coming upwards and taking her down from the sun and she just can't grow🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗xxxx
This was a great blog well done mark and Nadia is very nice see both you opening up about mental health issues to on mental health issues day 🐶🐾🐾🐶🌈🦋🌈
Thank you for your honesty i appreciate this. Also i am going to buy Denise's book - i really love how brave she is like both of you to talk about this. Love you both thank you xx
When is it time to let someone go before they destroy you
7 years every 1-2 weeks without fail I feel numb myself 🙂
Great podcast ! I have PTSD from being run over 10 years ago and nearly dying,and losing my partner from CF. Ive been in mostly abusive relationships since which is my fault...and now I have been single three years because I need to work on me instead of focusing on a relationship. My 3 teens who have found lockdown tough here in Canada are my lifes purpose for now until they are adults. What I wish for from a future partner is understanding and acceptance. Accepting that I have zero control over my brain...and my depression. My last partner would rage on me physically and mentally.....and I dont know why. I didnt deserve it...thats for sure.Im not combative...I hate confrontation and it really broke me. I think the fact I wouldnt fight back made him angrier!!!
Mark we just bring something different to the table when it comes to being in relationships when we have mental illness.Through our depression we teach others to be more compassionate...to accept differences and inspire others to continue on. Nadia you cant change having a sunnier personality nor should you change...neither can you change being mentally ill Mark....BUT our dynamic still works!!! Love is about adapting...we dont appreciate the sun without cloudy days(cheesy analogy I know) One day I will love someone again....and it will be different.
My partner has suffered from depression, on and off, over the ten years that we have been together. I am going to be very honest and say that, after all this time, when he plunges into depression, my heart sinks and I find that I really resent him and I find it really boring now. I have no patience for it anymore. I cannot stand it. Nadia, how do you cope. How do you still love Mark? I want to run away. Sorry Mark. 🌸
That is not atall constructive.
Audrey Sargent Maybe not Audrey, but neither is your comment.
I admire you both so much for your openness and honesty. Thank you so much for letting us in on your lives. Mark, you could actually see the tension in your shoulders drop when you announced your intention to revisit the doctor. I hope you find some relief. You bloody deserve it xx
How great are you two. So open and honest. Ive been in Nadias shoes so to speak and my ex was so unpredictable with his moods I didnt know where the hell I was. He never got the help to get a diagnosis just antidepressants on and off for years. His behaviour towards me turned nasty and I just couldnt cope. I wish he could have been more open about who he was and how he felt. He did become very selfish in his illness and I was just hanging around waiting for things to improve knowing that the low mood was just around the corner ready to pounce again. Hats off to the both of you for working through these issues and I have a lot of respect for you Mark for owning your feelings and how it can impact on others. Big hugs to you both❤
It’s great that you are openly talking about this as it will not only help yourself but others that are listening too. Admitting you need help is the biggest step, anti depressants don’t work straight away and to begin with you can feel worse than before, they need to be stuck at for a while or to keep trying different ones until you find one suitable, therapy is needed alongside this too, not for everyone but like you say addiction comes into it, your childhood comes into it amongst a lot of other things that you’ve not been able to shelf yet as you always look back to the past etc, One thing that I didn’t agree with though is you saying that people just throw out diagnosis’, however you tend to do this yourselves, over the couple of years I watched ive heard you say youve both either got adhd, bi polar (not just episods), body dysmorphia, anxiety, depression, agoraphobia just to name a few, those that are diagnosed go through very long processes to be diagnosed so flippant comments like oh that was so adhd can affect those that do have it, do you think that this also may not be helping you as if you continually say you have these things then it kind of acts like a placebo effect where you start to act and believe that you do? It would be great if in 6 months time you could do an update with different coping strategies, what has helped what hasn’t, mental health conditions are normally there for life however we can ourselves help to manage them so that we’re not always having more lows than highs, I do know a lot about mh so please don’t think I’m making this comment out of jest as I know depression can make you feel like you don’t want to get out of bed in a morning or do anything but honestly try making yourself get up, take better self care as it looks like you struggle a lot with this, try to get outside more and communicate with others who arnt your immediate family, going out with friends doesn’t always mean alcohol, try the therapists and medication, I’m not saying all this will take your problems away as it doesn’t work like that and there will always be triggers but it may help especially with the deep rooted problems, there’s only you that can help yourself and only you that can try an manage your mental health better once you start to do this then things may get a little easier for you, nads you also need to listen more at times it’s like mark wants to open up more and get it off his chest how he’s feeling but you always interrupt him and turn it into how your feeling rather than how he’s feeling, I know you want to help him and I also know how frustrating it can be but sometimes just listening can help
I've suffered from clinical depression for years, but I live with it ODAAT the same as my addiction recovery. And I have lots of support from my addiction fellows. Thanks Mark, so true fully spoken
Great talk very honest I can relate what nadia said at beginning I have lots friends mental health issues so good you both talking about it just to add hugs and love
Thank you both so much for this. I have suffered for so many years and in turn my family have suffered. It's not malicious at all is it, it's just all consuming. I get the feeling of failure as well, and I am a very closed book with regards to it. So so dark and consuming, guilt is consuming too. You are an amazing family and your honesty will help so many people.
You two are an amazing couple. It must be so hard for you both to talk like this but it much be such a relief to be able to. You are both lucky to have each other. Hope you get the help you need Mark as you are an amazing husband and father and you deserve so much to feel 😊 happy. Nadia you are amazing and Mark and the girls are so lucky to have you. Love you to you all 😘
I love the way you two can come together and talk openly about mental health issues. You are helping so many people by doing this! I love you both and you are definitely doing the right thing Mark ..... see it through and talk to your Doctor! Best of Luck you two .... sending 2 Big Hugs from Ireland 💚💚
Mark what you said around 25:53 about wanting to turn away form the wall because you love them all etc, I really felt that. A massive hug to you both and thank you Nadia for voicing how you're feeling trying to cope with it, watching Mark or whoever you love in so much pain. Sometimes I think my my dad acts quite vacant when I have these bad episodes but after hearing what you said, it made me stop and consider how it might be affecting him. Its not that he doesn't want to know because he doesn't care, it's because he's feeling the weight of being a parent and not being able to help fix it. Knowing it causes the people we love around us that heavy same feeling it just really makes this illness such a cruel cruel thing. I wish and hope one day I find a way out of it and it's the same with you and Mark and anybody else. Massive hug to you both.
What an amazing chat.I cried.I suffer from chronic anxiety and depression to.My Daughter took my two Grandsons away from us eight years ago,i have heard nothing from them since then.Over two years ago our Cavalier girl doggie was poorly and had to be put to sleep.I totally lost the plot.Trixie my Cav girl filled such a massive void when Aby left with my Grandsons,so when we lost here the grief was ten fold as it felt like loosing my Grandsons all over again.I am just 51 yrs and feel that my life is over X Thankyou both for what you do,you are both wonderful X
Love you guys...emotional and honest take care xx
Thankyou both so much.Just watched this with my husband.I have ptsd after serious illness and struggle to communicate to my husband or anyone about my ptsd.
It was great for my husband to be able to relate with you Nadia as a partner living with a mental illness .Helped us to discuss lots of things after watching you both so again thank you xxx
Thank you both so much for talking so honestly today on World Mental Heath Day going through it and have been for a few years now and its a struggle every second of every day , a combination of my issues brought about by a horrible menopause which due to health issues couldnt have any help with via HRT so that then caused many many relationship problems and then the begining of covid brought the stress of sheilding me onto my husband and caused him to hit the wall and turn to the GP for help which they did but the antidepresants had to stop because of other health issues which need sorting out so we are back to "trying to cope" as best we can , like yourselves talking honestly . Thank you for helping me to help him as much a he will accept my help xx
You need to watch Laura Clery and her husband getting brain scans and understanding their mental health by looking at brain physiology. It is ludicrous that psychologists don't look at what is physically going on with the brain as an organ. If you had a heart issue or a broken bone you would get a scan. I hope the future of mental health treatment involves proper chemical and hormonal analysis and brain scans. It is the key to appropriate treatment and understanding.
two of my favourite people on this planet. can we be friends xoxo
Awwwwww xxx
Great discussion guys 💗 you have really helped me not feel alone by being so open about depression and anxiety. Love you so much 💗🌸💗🌸💗🌸
Wow. That was really moving. And inspiring. Thank you both for sharing the hard work and massive loving.
Thank you to you both for being so honest and so brave. It’s important to seek help but do be careful you don’t settle for a quick fix or take medication without fully researching the side effects and withdrawal effects. Medication is so important for so many but you must find the right one for you as each of us is unique and Drs sometimes use a one size fits all which isn’t always helpful. Don’t suffer in silence. Be safe, be strong and stay fabulous.
Felt so much for you Mark. X
Very moving guys. Brave to share, you'll be helping so many people ❤ 😘
I think you speak so well bt mental health mark iv been on lots of downers seasonal downers and i only ever spoke to my doctor hes been so good listening to me crying iv got a med now shld i say after yrs of different meds they hv found the ballance for now i cry when im sad and laugh when im happy which i cldnt do on other meds thank you mark for this pod cast pat in Ireland 🇮🇪
It’s so difficult living with it 😢. Thanks for chatting about it. My fear the most is that I worry my kids will inherit it from me.
♥️ I understand that fear. My dear, if that ends up being the case; I have a feeling that they’ll be very blessed to have you understand & support them.
Angela Porisky kind words. Thank you so much 😘🙏🏼
@@tralala4710 🙏♥️ we must support one another. You’re welcome.
Well done great vlog thank ye ☘️☘️☘️💚💚💚
My Husband was taking anti depressants...which in the end made him worse! Then he was diagnosed with Bi Polar affective disorder, after an awful crisis. He has done much better since then. I feel that same feeling of eggshells that Nadia feels. This all happend in the last three years, and there were very hard times for him and myself. We are still together, and looking forward to our Silver (25yrs) Wedding next year. Keep going Mark and Nadia all will be well.
Dear Mark&Nadia..A Very Brave thing to do,open up about your inner most feelings..
My Daughter has mental health issues,I help her and her two sons as she is a Single parent since Lockdown..
I find it Overwhelming trying to support her and the constant worry about her..
I care about my Daughters welfare more than I care about myself.
I feel whatever I do isn't enough because I can't make her happy.
That's the cruelty of the desease,illness,whatever you are supposed to call it
Oh sweetie big big hug Caroline . Nadia xx
@@sawalhaadderleys Thank you Nadia,That means alot to me...At the end of your vlog when you cried,that is how I react to my Daughter's situation..It's like you feel helpless...xx
You made me cry. I love you two. I have an AMAZING Mum but if I didn’t I’d wish you were my Mum & Dad. Big love 😘
Big hugs to you both Mark & Nadia xx. It made me cry seeing you both struggling living with mental health 💔 Wishing Mark all the best & hope he gets the help he needs to feel better in himself. Life is tough, I've been there with the black cloud of depression over my head, I still suffer with anxiety, but exercise, running & walking every day make me feel so much better in myself. Look after yourselves. Sending love & light 💞💞
Great vlog, thank you so much for sharing and so very brave. Much love 💜💜 you are both Trojans
Mark have you ever considered detoxing and coming off the coffee and fizzy drinks, we know these things have an effect on our bodies
I have mental health with desperation and anxiety when I was 14 years old and I am 22 years old now and it has affected me and my family and also I have heart problems and pacemaker put in when I was 8 years old and I still got it. I still be myself and be happy all the time but it does affect me because I am different and mental health is so important to share and help people
Thank you soo much for this you are both amazing 😘 😘 xxx
Lonely but don’t want to see anyone, confusing or What? 100mph my head goes - so, so TIRED 😓 - Thinking Of You Both & Mark PLEASE DO GO GET HELP ❤️. Thanks for All your Mental Health Chats - It does help whilst stuck on a therapy waiting list. Anxiety is awful - THE DREAD & THE BLACK CLOUD that I GET - SENDS ME TO BED FOR DAYS 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁
Loved listening to this...u guys are always so honest! It’s so amazing to see how supportive u are of one another...mark I totally get the ‘creep’ phrase it’s just so true!!! Big hugs to u both...love always tori 🥰
Have you gone back to running Mark? I know it's not a cure but when you get those feelings getting over whelmed, run........ Worse thing it'll do nothing but make you sweat and now need a shower. It could simply take the edge off or lift the cloud just a bit. Maybe it'll be the run that really helped and was needed.....
So pleased to hear that you are going to get help Mark. Sending you all lots of love 🤗
You two are bloody brilliant!! I love listening to your wise, caring ❤ conversations xx sending you love xx
Poor Nadia, it must be so hard for you, and poor mark too...i wished i had a magic wand to rid you all of it, i think talking about it is very important , i am sorry mark it must be hell for you ,maybe to wake up and on that day feeling depressed for example , its not like you can make announcement , but maybe what you could do is , maybe ....have a calendar or a day to day calendar , and on that day mark is to write or mark from 1-10 1 being the lowest ..10 the highest and grade that day , then Nadia can prepare herself and maybe talk to you about your day ..(just a suggestion )
That way no one would be walking on egg shells ,
talk to your doctor mark , and well done talking about it..sorry you are suffering , may i send you and Nadia a huge gentle hugs ,
I hope that everyone who is watching this will love and appreciate you guys more for your honesty .Thank you x
Thanks guys that was an emotional watch. Just finished The Midnight Library Mark was a great read and opened my eyes to so many things, thanks for the recommendation 💜
You two are the most awsome-est (??!!!) of humans. Incredibly brave. Mark, you looked so relieved to finally get the fact that you need some advice/help off your chest, as did Nads - that must have been so hard. And I'm relieved that you can both have this type of discussion with kindness and are able to articlate what you;re collectively and individually going through. Sending good vibes and like Frasier, wishing you good mental health x
Admire your honesty both of you. You are helping so many people xx
That was so touching you guys! You had me in tears. I feel so bad for you BOTH! I'm so pleased that you are going to seek medical help Mark, because you are such a lovely, amazing and caring man, who (although, I don't 'know' you of course) is obviously unwell. And, I agree with you, Nadia is an amazing woman, and it must be so hard for her, loving you like she does, to see you go through so much pain! I wish you both well. You WILL get through this, together, as you are the strongest couple I have ever seen! thank you for sharing such a painful, and deeply emotional part of your lives! Stay strong! Much, much love! 👍❤❤❤😚
👏 brilliant well done to both of you xxxxxx
A good and honest podcast
I just Want you both To Be Happy 💖 Wish I could be too! On Antidepressants since I was 17 - BEEN ON THEM ALL - Overdoses The Lot.
#neverwillend #groundhogday #exhausting #overwhelming #Sucks