The real problem is nice guys are unfairly labeled as weak or manipulative because they aren't like the abusive father you grew up with. Before you look for that next jerk, look for a good psychiatrist.
Long -Term- Relationship is dead globally all due to smartphones. No one meets women anymore face to face like before smartphones came out. Cold approach is dead too. Today women don't even look or smile anymore, all on their cell phones 24/7 on dating apps for hookups. No wonder why men have given up!
As a man, being nice is such a good trait. The fact that women don't want anything with you opens up a lot more opportunities of doing whatever you want without needing to care about being attached to somebody. If you don't connect with someone don't worry, just keep doing normal life, achieving your goals and such, cause in reality the only thing you should care about is yourself, and most of the times somebody would come to your life with the perfect timing, to ruin what you have built. Honestly speaking, when those women that think they are funny see there's no other way of getting somebody or the fun is over, then they go with those *nice guys* who, at the same time, are already done with that bullshit. Seriously, do not give a fuck, live your life and be happy.
Some people chose guys that are a bit rough bad boy type but end up being a battered wife and girlfriend with lawyers and 911 on their cellphone as a result very traumatic
I'am nice guy and that's perfect for me because when woman don't give me attention I can earn money for yourself and can travel around world without asking nobody, with 44 years old my health is perfect and I see my friends are jelous because I have many options to do everything 😊😊😊😊
These modern women who say they want the bad boy do so, but usually for hook ups and casul sex. Once they hit 33-35 and they realize the bad boy passes them up for a 18 - twenty something y.o., they will then look for a nice guy who offers them stability.
They never stop wanting the badboy; they simply use the good man for his money while continuing to sleep with the losers. I am nearly 50 and women my age are doing exactly that.
@@chrisandsneaky2453True dat. I am 60 and I have seen women in their 60s doing this still. They keep a “nice” guy boyfriend but will cheat with a sexy bad boy.
Value yourself! This applies not just in dating life but also in every interpersonal relationships. The resultant circle may be small but it will be a high quality one.
@@DatingByBlaine We need to ban smartphones and all dating apps and will go back like 20 years ago. 20 years ago women were approaching. With an Italian background from Canada. I'm 55, 5.10 average, never married and have no kids. I've given up on women. Today women are on their cell phones 24/7. No one talks face to face anymore. I can't wait till AI will be destroying women and only then will women be begging for men. I have my condo and money so I'll die with my money. Today 90% are insecure and toxic. Relationships are dead, it's all hookups now with high body counts. Women marry to control the marriage so married men end up cheating. Marriage brings nothing for the men. I'm off the market.
I like the video, useful tips on self prioritization. I dislike the concept of "friendzone". It's like "don't make a mistake, don't text the wrong thing, don't be too nice" etc, or you'll blow it. Just be yourself.
Gee, when I've flat out disagreed about things with my first dates, they often got argumentative and lost interest, realizing we were not compatible on topics they really cared about. Not saying I should have been a simp and agreed with them, just to keep up my chances for a second date. I'm just saying that disagreeing with your date will often lead to her losing interest in you.
Their loss. And if they try to come back mid to late 30’s with some other guy’s kid, it’s gone from a nope to a hell no from me. I don’t think the 25-35 female ‘I’m so full of it even I don’t understand myself’ get this….probably the biggest reason older guys end up with younger women who don’t make this mistake.
I really needed this video. This was very helpful to me. I'm a "nice" guy, and I struggle with women. I've always thought, that it can't be that being a nice guy is what turns women off, because being nice is a positive thing. I can't change who I am, I'm nice, and will always be nice. But I can change other things, like how assertive, and confident, I am. Those are things that I can change, and I know I will see a difference when I make those changes to my life. Because what women actually like is confidence, and not just a guy who's a jerk.
Just discovered your channel and am enjoying your videos. I used to believe being like Nice Guy Nate was being a gentleman, until I dated women who straightened me out. Self priority is extremely important. Great video, BTW!
Don't get me wrong you got alot of very good information but last time I checked sometimes women don't give the best advice on dating women because most women don't even like other women for the most part and most women don't even know what they want but I love knowledge and will listen to anyone so as long as they speak the truth.
To be honest, being nice is a trait that kicks off a good first impression. Why 'treat them mean, to keep them keen' at the risk of turning them off entirely. Having said that don't cave and agree and pay for everything...be yourself, make her laugh and simply don't expect anything. Be prepared to walk away the moment she shows signs of doubt. Nothing wrong with enjoying your own company also. \m/
Except this isn't how those societies worked. The "nice" hunter cooperated with the other hunters so they would be successful and they shared their catch to provide for the entire group. The asshole was kicked out of the group because surviving required cooperation.
I love myself and I do whatever i want to do! Anything I do I do it for myself and to improve on myself. I am a free and single man, and it’ll take a great woman for me to give time to her.
The issue of "nice guys" is about women need for a provider no matter how bad he is, bcs they see the issue of sociale behavior theirs to inculcate to men
I think there’s a stark contrast between a quality masculine man and your average nice guy. The masculine man oozes confidence, underpinned by rock-solid integrity and a killer sense of purpose. He’s not just nice; he’s genuinely kind, but with an edge of ambition and a sense of humor that makes interactions magnetic. Emotional intelligence? He’s got it in spades, balancing empathy with self-assurance and a polished physical presence. He knows his worth and doesn’t just play the support role-he actively uplifts and encourages. In contrast, the nice guy, while well-meaning, often struggles with self-confidence and ambition. His kindness can veer into passivity, and his emotional intelligence might falter when handling his own needs. He might lack the passion and assertiveness that make the masculine man not just attractive but compelling. It’s the difference between being someone who is pleasant to be around and someone who commands respect and admiration.
Right, women are attracted to that. Now folks just remember that attraction is the most horrible foundation for a relationship. Compatibility is what you should be aspiring to have. Someone with whom you can be transparent, give feedback and receive it, someone who respects you and gives you an environment to thrive and find wellness. Things that you wont find if you live by what this video shares.
basically.. women want what they must strive to achieve. if something comes too easily, women will go the other way. but not all women are like this. just the weak, easily swayed, lacking personal direction ones. i'm quite sure that a woman who actually knows what she wants will not be dissuaded by a man who is caring. The idea of a man that puts his woman ahead of his own needs I'd say is most often a fantasy. I don't know of any man that does that. If a woman is playing these sorts of games, better to just find another that isn't.
Does introversion risk seeming like "being a simp"? Would love a video about introverts. It puts me at ease to listen and walk around in someon else's world when we're just meeting. I learn whether there's a fit for me there. That's a huge value going forward. I get lots of positive feedback/gratitude on this, but can't think of attractive women that seemed to like it.
Daniel, great Q! I'd think of being introverted and "simping" as distinct concepts. The type of listening you described is actually a huge asset dating-wise, and doesn't inherently imply simping IMO. One thing that may help is pushing yourself to share reactions after you listen, particularly if you don't agree with something a woman said
@@DatingByBlaine Being "introverted" or "ambiverted" is another ball park than "simping". You can still be assertive etc ...From my expierence, being "introverted" has more benefits generally than "extroverts". "Extroverts" want to be center front of attention usually while an "introverted/ambivert" will be a good active listener...Too many people slap labels too quickly... I´ll give you a list and then tell me otherwise that they don´t get women, this will also help a lot of men as well with the label "introverted"... Michael Jordan is an introvert. Elon Musk is a self-proclaimed introvert Johnny Depp is actually an introvert Keanu Reeves is an introvert Tom Hardy The Weeknd is definitely an introvert. The Canadian singer has once said that he’s shy and doesn’t like to be in the spotlight. That doesn’t mean he isn’t confident, though. Eminem Matt Damon Jay-Z (He´s with Beyonce, who is also an "introvert") Yes, while I listed a few "introverts", the point is, they get women. Sure they get women possibly because of celeb status, however you will notice a lot of them have also been married for several years , so they know how to keep....
Talking less would make you more of a mystery. Apparently women like that and find it attractive. I wouldn't worry about it looking like simping unless you're just being a yes man with her and agreeing with everything she says.
I´ve come across a lot of what others would consider "Model Looking" women, and can tell you first hand that they have a lot of insecurities . Don´t be that guy who puts her on a pedestool, she´s just as human as you, mutual respect, be there for her as she´s there for you. Don´t be afraid to say no or have a backbone, don´t be an ass, it´s just as off putting as a woman being a B.... As a guy, she´s actually on point with this!
Tried that selfish act stuff , Doesn't work , especially Number Two , On Number One , started reading books , Gym , Salsa dancing lessons , In Number Two the moment I disagree with a woman even proving that I was right and she admitting that she was wrong , BooM , DATE OVER ........at least twice
That’s were you went wrong. Stop getting into I’m right discussions. That is not attractive. Ed Mylett says “it is not your job to make people believe what you say: it is your job to show people you believe what you say. “ you can show you have your opinion without arguing. Good luck friend
@@DatingByBlaine I think it's not too late. I worked with a dating coach in 2011 for about 6 months. So something is telling me I still have the desire.
I'm around the same age and started following Blaine about a year ago. She is awesome. Sign up for her class. I wish someone like her was around for me 30 years ago.
You shouldn't aim to be an a**hole but if are perceived as one, then it is much better than being a nice guy. Trust me I have been both and being the nice guy is a horrible way to live If you're nice and get nothing, resentment builds. If you're an asshole and get nothing, then you stay true to yourself. Again, to not try to be an asshole. Simply state your needs wants and desires. If they can't match you, then that's OK
Something leads me to believe that this lady is okay with being friends with nice guys but that's only because she wants to get the resources and money by pulling him along and using him
@@DatingByBlaine IAM not putting on some fake attitude some fake stuff just cause she wants to be ran through until men no longer want them and she ready to settle down with a real man who just don't wanna use her for a quick fling
Another way to say this: People confuse correlation with causation - in general, it isn't being nice that's unattractive or being bad that's attractive, it's other things that those guys tend to do that make the difference. It's best to be a good guy and know the things women find attractive.
I totally agree with you! Being nice is a lot more nuanced than most of these RUclipsrs with their black and white thinking opinions. Well articulated, great coaching.
I do not understand this current dating culture; actually, it infuriates me. Why is there a need to play mind games? Why can't both a man and woman put all their cards on the table and just be real with one another with their innate personalities? Why must a woman "test" a man in this manner that you described? Based on the information that was presented in this video, is it safe to infer that the majority of women are self-absorbed egomaniacal narcissists who have weaponized their beauty in order to get what they want (or think they want)? I think so. However, once women lose their trump card (looks) typically after age 55, their egos erode and they seek companionship above anything else because their sexual value greatly diminishes in the dating marketplace.
Bro all you said is just fact and I have done a lot of research about "dark female nature" and I have also red a lot of ebook about dark female nature and all this is what you still experience in most women during marriage. It's very important for men to know about dark female nature and know how to be smart when dealing with women.
How are You gonna say something to a Woman that she disagrees with You in a date if You can't get a girl to go on a date with You if You're a "" Nice Guy"" and women don't date "" Nice Guys"" ???
I had exactly that thought several times through this vid. I don't even know who this vid was aimed at. Not the nice guys who get friend-zoned but no dates, not the bad boys who are gonna get laid without Blaine's advice, not Joe Average who has a cloak of invisibility as far as women are concerned, and not the poor b's on the bottom rungs of the rating ladder. Who does that leave?
The amount of times I've had women telling me how boring their boyfriends are and how they are sick of them being so nice, I've tried explaining to them how that is a good thing and if your boyfriend was a jealous arse hole who battered you and didn't let you hang out with your mates you would not like that either, the reply I got was yeah well he could care a bit more so I said you are at another blokes house at 6 in the morning and you are complaining cos your boyfriend is not kicking off about it 😜 honestly I will never understand women as long as i live 😜
I used to be a nice guy, i changed and putted myself first, i also improved in the looks and confidence department. BUT, i have to say that breaking out of this, women won't magically find you attractive, it will be the same life, but you are more comfortible in yourself, if you don't have any leads after you transform then you are in for a long run, and knowing that you don't get leads BUT don't want to be that "nice guy" either...yeah, you are trapped in a circle until you get leads somehow. It will get you no leads, but at least you'll be in a match better place if opportonuties present themeselves. Peace
I personally find it absolutely puzzling that someone who thinks that being nice is a sign of a weak individual....I'm a nice man yet when I'm taken advantage of or perhaps even thrown "under the bus " you are definitely going to witness the other side of me.....As nice as I am...I am just as evil...
My thoughts, for what little they're worth 🤪. There's a big difference between helping someone in need and letting someone bully you. If you're the type of person who puts others needs above your own and those people actually need your help, I think that's very attractive to most people. For example, sacrificing some of your relaxation time to volunteer at a soup kitchen. Doing that is putting others' needs above your own but I think that's awesome and very attractive. This is very different from if some asshole is demanding something they don't deserve but you just go along with it because you want to avoid conflict and it's easier to just give in. That's very unattractive because it's really a lack a courage. By letting someone bully you, you aren't being nice to them. You're just being a coward. That's very unattractive. I personally think that trying to "not be too nice" is the wrong thing to focus on. Yes, don't let people be mean to you without challenging them. Stand up for yourself. And I agree that you shouldn't spend tons of money on a first date because it can make the other person feel like they owe you something. But if you were really kind to someone on a date and they rejected you, I seriously doubt that it's because they think you put other people's needs above your own. I'd expect it's more like they have specific preferences for their partners' personality type, sense of humor, physical appearance, achievements, communication style etc. I just don't think it's because they think someone is too generous to others. Because I think generosity and helping those in need is a great thing (not talking about people taking advantage of you). If a woman seems to date assholes, those assholes are probably very physically attractive, maybe have a lot of money, and likely don't present themselves as assholes at first. They are probably good at appearing kind at first and wait until later to show their more negative traits. It's not their selfishness that was attractive. Women who truly want someone selfish probably have self esteem issues, and you don't want to focus on them anyway. So my advice, as worthless as it is haha: If you get rejected this way, just focus on becoming the best version of yourself according to what you think is best, and find someone else. You likely just weren't compatible. Don't think about being more self interested.
She's right. She does not recommend being a selfish asshole. She says to be kind and considerate, yet put your own interests first. Don't be afraid to disagree. Don't be a doormat. Stand up for what you believe. This will make women respect you, and without respect, there is no sexual attraction. Someone who is too agreeable can't be trusted. If you never say 'no', all your 'yesses' are meaningless.
Nice guys finish last - when it comes to selfish and shallow people judging them. The women who have wised up and realized the errors of their ways in time to keep their nice guy never regret it. Stop encouraging idiots to reject nice guys. It only exacerbates the shallowness problem we have in this world.
Just be yourself and own yourself, guys. You don't have to change jack shit if you are a "nice guy". If your natural self isn't enough for them then they simply don't deserve you. I'm a nice guy and I'm also in an emotionally fulfilling relationship. This idea that you have to change yourself is complete and utter BS.
i wonder if you got an episode on vetting the right women for you. i been running into a lot of not so great women but they dont show those bad signs until later.
Thank you for explaining this. However, some women want the man to plan the date to for him to prove leadership, and such. Okay, fine, but the catch would be IF I would take her to a place or activity she does not like. Well I am kinda screwed, because that would kind of ruin her hopeful impression about me, turned negatively. It would be much better just to ask what she would like to do as well? Apparently not. They do not want to think about the plans, that is a mans job. But would later complain about it when its not her "thing" . If she did not like where we went or activity we did. She should have given her input from the very beginning. There is always a contradiction in thinking when it comes to women. Is it being a nice guy to ask what she would like to do so both man and women enjoy each others company?? I guess not.
This a long range run. Bad boys abandon women in the first three to five years. Leaving their children traumatized without a father to guide them in this evil world. The they want a a good guy who take care of this broken family. This is very stupid. Men need to reject these women until they find a good and humble woman interested in raising a family with love. It is not that difficult.
* "Women want the finished product in men, they are not willing to go through this with him. His growing into life process", and another reason for men to step away from "those women". The "nice guy" and the "Simp" are a description of a good person growing up, and if you don't like it then you can't complain "where have all the good men gone"!!! A good therapist would know this. * The "self-interest" comment is another double standard for women. Where she doesn't like it when he has self-interest, but it's okay if she does. *** All this shows us that women are going through some intense growing pains, and us men need to step away from them as they go through this. OR get caught up in the destruction of their tornado. This is going to last about 10 years. So guys, find something else to do in that time... Independent men will love that "Freedom". And guys that love the companionship of women, need to join men's groups and keep busy. Go in peace.
The issue, is that "nice guys" are not actually nice..... now let me explain. The guys who are labelled as "nice guys" are those, who will do everything to a girl, a shoulder to cry on as she described, and i have seen things guys do that really are embarrassing just to have a chance with a girl .... think of it like watching national geography. These same type of guys, won't be this nice to another guy, to an elderly, at work, but once they see a girl they like ... game over! So simply girls who are genuine see that and want someone normal. Whereas girls who are crazy look for something more adventurous as this is boring, and the supply of such men is "buy one get 5 for free chasing you".
I’m sorry, did this video say that selfish behavior is sexy and desirable behavior? Really? I must be reading that wrong, because that sounds terrible. Also, these callbacks to “caveman” days or “evolution” is merely an excuse used to justify current behaviors and habits. It is not based on any reputable science or anthropology. “Nice,” of course, is a loaded word and this gets everyone into trouble. Personally, I feel our society is stuck in a high school mindset, where jocks bully nerds and are rewarded as being “strong” and “dominant” by children who should know better. Its values of dominance, brutality, selfishness, and cruelty are all too common. I guess this is a fancy way of saying so many guys out there are insane psychos. But we have certainly forgotten how to behave with kindness, gentleness and humility. Bottom line: if you are unhappy with your romantic life, you will need to make changes, both in how you treat others and how you treat yourself. Embrace kindness and love, for yourself and others.
Treat these women like side quest bro. If u cant get anything out her then toss her. And find another. Lie to get wit u want and cheat whenever u want. There is no prize life is the prize so live it.
I think another thing nice guys don't always realize about themselves, but women definitely notice, is that they think their "nice" behaviors entitle them to immediate sex or a relationship. This used to be me. I thought that getting a girl some special gift for her birthday/Xmas would be a clear sign and she'd then reciprocate with a date. That's just not how it works, and once you realize your own motives you also realize what you're doing isn't a nice gift, it's an implicit transaction. Modern dudes need to realize that brief moments of fake politeness or big spending on a date aren't the only alternative to being an a-hole, and most of all stop blaming women because they don't care for what we're offering. It's ok and healthy to take personal responsibility and better ourselves WITHOUT expecting immediate gratification after step 1.
+1 great callout. Checking certain boxes (e.g. good career, good person) doesn't directly translate to dating success. These are necessary but not sufficient conditions :)
Women give those things instantly to losers and badboys, so why shouldn't good men expect it? We should be treated BETTER than the trash, but women invert that and treat garbage men like kings while crapping on good ones. If you let a woman string you along, not giving you what she freely and immediately gave to assholes, you're a damned fool.
I disagree because i am a nice guy and my wife thought so. If i didnt allow cancer to come into our lives and take her life shed be alive this very day and we would still be happy together. I should have stopped it
Well I have a split personality, I was born and raised a Nice Guy 😇 and at the same time I have the ability to be an asshole/jerk 👹 (only when there's a bunch of Assholes and jerks around me) and I promise you you're not gonna like it! Trust me!!! I know myself than my parents does. A nice guy inside of me is much better than the other one! And He always Prevail because he's a nice guy. But IF being an Asshole/Jerk will be the only thing to make any Women so friggin happy then I can be an asshole/jerk at any moment it's like a Shift on the Fly.
Dead man walking You've done it now You've gone and made a big mistake And I can't allow, you to think you can just walk away So turn around, and face the piper you're gonna pay 'Cause the end is now This is gonna be your judgement day A cheap shot That's the way that you play the game I was blindsided, things will never ever be the same Nice guys, it's said they always finish last But bad-asses, always kicking asshole's asses Kick it You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay There's no forgiveness this time You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay It's my business, your mind You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay I'm burning these ones to the ground You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay I'm gonna Bring you down You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay No more chances No more excuses, no lies Your stories ending, time to say your goodbyes Nice guys, it's said they always finish last But bad-asses, are always kicking asshole's asses Asshole Kick it Kick it You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay There's no forgiveness this time You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay It's my business, your mind You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay I'm burning these ones to the ground You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay I'm gonna Bring you down You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay -Jim Johnston
Stop watching this, I have the answer - woman like this prefer having one foot out the door , so if any ANYTHING minor happens, they can ditch and move on to the next guy. Nice guys generally don't do anything wrong, so women find themselves having to choose between actually being happy or seeing what else is out there. Woman don't want happiness, they want excitement.
Nice guys generally do EVERYTHING wrong because they treat a woman the way they think a woman should want to be treated. The a-hole treats them the way they actually want to be treated. You can’t actually make someone happy but you can get them excited!
"Women don't like selfish assholes" - and then proceeds to describe how women like selfish assholes :D
Look at the action becuase it's louder than any spoken word.
@@zensenpai6669 "Asking a fish how to catch it" ~ Patrice Oneal
The internet and social media beg to differ
Yep
I love hypocrisy.
The real problem is nice guys are unfairly labeled as weak or manipulative because they aren't like the abusive father you grew up with. Before you look for that next jerk, look for a good psychiatrist.
Long -Term- Relationship is dead globally all due to smartphones. No one meets women anymore face to face like before smartphones came out. Cold approach is dead too. Today women don't even look or smile anymore, all on their cell phones 24/7 on dating apps for hookups. No wonder why men have given up!
As a man, being nice is such a good trait. The fact that women don't want anything with you opens up a lot more opportunities of doing whatever you want without needing to care about being attached to somebody. If you don't connect with someone don't worry, just keep doing normal life, achieving your goals and such, cause in reality the only thing you should care about is yourself, and most of the times somebody would come to your life with the perfect timing, to ruin what you have built.
Honestly speaking, when those women that think they are funny see there's no other way of getting somebody or the fun is over, then they go with those *nice guys* who, at the same time, are already done with that bullshit.
Seriously, do not give a fuck, live your life and be happy.
Don't be nice all the time.when you nice she will take you kindness for a weakness.
Kindness and weakness are two completely different things. Kindness is a strength, not a weakness.
Guys are avoiding women altogether now.
Based on my first wife, apparently it's because women prefer a drug addict who beats them.
Nuh, u just attracted low value ones maybe coz u r the same.
So guys, don't be assholes, but be assholes 😂
Some people chose guys that are a bit rough bad boy type but end up being a battered wife and girlfriend with lawyers and 911 on their cellphone as a result very traumatic
:(
Cope
Nice guys don’t finish last…. Single mothers do!
Single mothers don't finish at all.
That’s right 😂
😅
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The nice guy dates the single mother. What a combo
I'am nice guy and that's perfect for me because when woman don't give me attention I can earn money for yourself and can travel around world without asking nobody, with 44 years old my health is perfect and I see my friends are jelous because I have many options to do everything 😊😊😊😊
Better yet. If a woman says friend zone, or your a nice guy but, it’s time to walk away permanently.
These modern women who say they want the bad boy do so, but usually for hook ups and casul sex. Once they hit 33-35 and they realize the bad boy passes them up for a 18 - twenty something y.o., they will then look for a nice guy who offers them stability.
They never stop wanting the badboy; they simply use the good man for his money while continuing to sleep with the losers. I am nearly 50 and women my age are doing exactly that.
@@chrisandsneaky2453True dat. I am 60 and I have seen women in their 60s doing this still. They keep a “nice” guy boyfriend but will cheat with a sexy bad boy.
Value yourself! This applies not just in dating life but also in every interpersonal relationships. The resultant circle may be small but it will be a high quality one.
Yes!
@@DatingByBlaine We need to ban smartphones and all dating apps and will go back like 20 years ago. 20 years ago women were approaching. With an Italian background from Canada. I'm 55, 5.10 average, never married and have no kids. I've given up on women. Today women are on their cell phones 24/7. No one talks face to face anymore. I can't wait till AI will be destroying women and only then will women be begging for men. I have my condo and money so I'll die with my money. Today 90% are insecure and toxic. Relationships are dead, it's all hookups now with high body counts. Women marry to control the marriage so married men end up cheating. Marriage brings nothing for the men. I'm off the market.
I like the video, useful tips on self prioritization. I dislike the concept of "friendzone". It's like "don't make a mistake, don't text the wrong thing, don't be too nice" etc, or you'll blow it. Just be yourself.
Gee, when I've flat out disagreed about things with my first dates, they often got argumentative and lost interest, realizing we were not compatible on topics they really cared about. Not saying I should have been a simp and agreed with them, just to keep up my chances for a second date. I'm just saying that disagreeing with your date will often lead to her losing interest in you.
Give nice guys a chance and stop automatically labeling them!
Their loss. And if they try to come back mid to late 30’s with some other guy’s kid, it’s gone from a nope to a hell no from me. I don’t think the 25-35 female ‘I’m so full of it even I don’t understand myself’ get this….probably the biggest reason older guys end up with younger women who don’t make this mistake.
Yep, I agree!
This video could resume to "don't play her games"
I really needed this video. This was very helpful to me. I'm a "nice" guy, and I struggle with women. I've always thought, that it can't be that being a nice guy is what turns women off, because being nice is a positive thing. I can't change who I am, I'm nice, and will always be nice. But I can change other things, like how assertive, and confident, I am. Those are things that I can change, and I know I will see a difference when I make those changes to my life. Because what women actually like is confidence, and not just a guy who's a jerk.
no the real reason is that ur not a 10 ft tall blonde curly haired blue eyed muscular full hair full beard ultra rich man
Just discovered your channel and am enjoying your videos. I used to believe being like Nice Guy Nate was being a gentleman, until I dated women who straightened me out. Self priority is extremely important. Great video, BTW!
Thank you! Great realization :) Hope my channel would be a help for you too :)
Don't get me wrong you got alot of very good information but last time I checked sometimes women don't give the best advice on dating women because most women don't even like other women for the most part and most women don't even know what they want but I love knowledge and will listen to anyone so as long as they speak the truth.
To be honest, being nice is a trait that kicks off a good first impression. Why 'treat them mean, to keep them keen' at the risk of turning them off entirely. Having said that don't cave and agree and pay for everything...be yourself, make her laugh and simply don't expect anything. Be prepared to walk away the moment she shows signs of doubt. Nothing wrong with enjoying your own company also. \m/
The hunter who doesn't give away his catch can actually provide for his family. The nice hunter who gave it away failed to provide for his family.
Facts.
Except this isn't how those societies worked. The "nice" hunter cooperated with the other hunters so they would be successful and they shared their catch to provide for the entire group. The asshole was kicked out of the group because surviving required cooperation.
Don't be a nice guy. Be a good man
I love myself and I do whatever i want to do! Anything I do I do it for myself and to improve on myself. I am a free and single man, and it’ll take a great woman for me to give time to her.
The friend zone is great, a lot less pressure and expense.
The issue of "nice guys" is about women need for a provider no matter how bad he is, bcs they see the issue of sociale behavior theirs to inculcate to men
I think there’s a stark contrast between a quality masculine man and your average nice guy. The masculine man oozes confidence, underpinned by rock-solid integrity and a killer sense of purpose. He’s not just nice; he’s genuinely kind, but with an edge of ambition and a sense of humor that makes interactions magnetic. Emotional intelligence? He’s got it in spades, balancing empathy with self-assurance and a polished physical presence. He knows his worth and doesn’t just play the support role-he actively uplifts and encourages. In contrast, the nice guy, while well-meaning, often struggles with self-confidence and ambition. His kindness can veer into passivity, and his emotional intelligence might falter when handling his own needs. He might lack the passion and assertiveness that make the masculine man not just attractive but compelling. It’s the difference between being someone who is pleasant to be around and someone who commands respect and admiration.
WTF Blaine how'd you find Where's Waldo as your nice guy example🤣🤣 that's awesome. Great vid!
Hahaha. Secret. And thank you!
Great video coming from a nice guy! I appreciate the tips that you gave and I am looking forward to implementing them into my dating life
Right, women are attracted to that. Now folks just remember that attraction is the most horrible foundation for a relationship. Compatibility is what you should be aspiring to have. Someone with whom you can be transparent, give feedback and receive it, someone who respects you and gives you an environment to thrive and find wellness. Things that you wont find if you live by what this video shares.
basically.. women want what they must strive to achieve. if something comes too easily, women will go the other way. but not all women are like this. just the weak, easily swayed, lacking personal direction ones. i'm quite sure that a woman who actually knows what she wants will not be dissuaded by a man who is caring.
The idea of a man that puts his woman ahead of his own needs I'd say is most often a fantasy. I don't know of any man that does that.
If a woman is playing these sorts of games, better to just find another that isn't.
If women want to be beaten up, no problem. Finally we can do what we want.
Does introversion risk seeming like "being a simp"? Would love a video about introverts.
It puts me at ease to listen and walk around in someon else's world when we're just meeting. I learn whether there's a fit for me there. That's a huge value going forward.
I get lots of positive feedback/gratitude on this, but can't think of attractive women that seemed to like it.
Daniel, great Q! I'd think of being introverted and "simping" as distinct concepts. The type of listening you described is actually a huge asset dating-wise, and doesn't inherently imply simping IMO. One thing that may help is pushing yourself to share reactions after you listen, particularly if you don't agree with something a woman said
@@DatingByBlaine Being "introverted" or "ambiverted" is another ball park than "simping". You can still be assertive etc ...From my expierence, being "introverted" has more benefits generally than "extroverts". "Extroverts" want to be center front of attention usually while an "introverted/ambivert" will be a good active listener...Too many people slap labels too quickly...
I´ll give you a list and then tell me otherwise that they don´t get women, this will also help a lot of men as well with the label "introverted"...
Michael Jordan is an introvert.
Elon Musk is a self-proclaimed introvert
Johnny Depp is actually an introvert
Keanu Reeves is an introvert
Tom Hardy
The Weeknd is definitely an introvert. The Canadian singer has once said that he’s shy and doesn’t like to be in the spotlight. That doesn’t mean he isn’t confident, though.
Eminem
Matt Damon
Jay-Z (He´s with Beyonce, who is also an "introvert")
Yes, while I listed a few "introverts", the point is, they get women. Sure they get women possibly because of celeb status, however you will notice a lot of them have also been married for several years , so they know how to keep....
Talking less would make you more of a mystery. Apparently women like that and find it attractive. I wouldn't worry about it looking like simping unless you're just being a yes man with her and agreeing with everything she says.
I wonder how many guys she has in the friend zone and is okay with it? It won't matter too much longer because men are going their own way MGTOW
I can’t concentrate watching this video because you’re awesome
I´ve come across a lot of what others would consider "Model Looking" women, and can tell you first hand that they have a lot of insecurities . Don´t be that guy who puts her on a pedestool, she´s just as human as you, mutual respect, be there for her as she´s there for you. Don´t be afraid to say no or have a backbone, don´t be an ass, it´s just as off putting as a woman being a B....
As a guy, she´s actually on point with this!
Tried that selfish act stuff , Doesn't work , especially Number Two , On Number One , started reading books , Gym , Salsa dancing lessons , In Number Two the moment I disagree with a woman even proving that I was right and she admitting that she was wrong , BooM , DATE OVER ........at least twice
That’s were you went wrong. Stop getting into I’m right discussions. That is not attractive. Ed Mylett says “it is not your job to make people believe what you say: it is your job to show people you believe what you say. “ you can show you have your opinion without arguing. Good luck friend
We don’t finish last at being nice.
Excellent video, thank you!!!
Blaine, I just started following you on IG. At almost 44 years old I have very little dating experience and still learning.
Thank you for the follow. I really appreciate it! Not yet too late to learn :)
@@DatingByBlaine I think it's not too late. I worked with a dating coach in 2011 for about 6 months. So something is telling me I still have the desire.
I'm around the same age and started following Blaine about a year ago. She is awesome. Sign up for her class. I wish someone like her was around for me 30 years ago.
You shouldn't aim to be an a**hole but if are perceived as one, then it is much better than being a nice guy. Trust me I have been both and being the nice guy is a horrible way to live
If you're nice and get nothing, resentment builds. If you're an asshole and get nothing, then you stay true to yourself. Again, to not try to be an asshole. Simply state your needs wants and desires. If they can't match you, then that's OK
Something leads me to believe that this lady is okay with being friends with nice guys but that's only because she wants to get the resources and money by pulling him along and using him
Define “Nice Guy”
Thanks for the explanation!
Glad it was helpful!
This is awesome! Love the nuance and deep understanding you have!
I appreciate that, thanks!!
@@DatingByBlaine IAM not putting on some fake attitude some fake stuff just cause she wants to be ran through until men no longer want them and she ready to settle down with a real man who just don't wanna use her for a quick fling
No women want nice guys to pay the bill while Chad and Tyrone are still pumping and dumping
Another way to say this: People confuse correlation with causation - in general, it isn't being nice that's unattractive or being bad that's attractive, it's other things that those guys tend to do that make the difference. It's best to be a good guy and know the things women find attractive.
Holy shit. Im Nate. 🤯
Thank you for finally putting this in a way that I can see it. Clearly, I have a lot of work to do.
"No More Mr Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover
I totally agree with you! Being nice is a lot more nuanced than most of these RUclipsrs with their black and white thinking opinions. Well articulated, great coaching.
But being an asshole has no nuances - women always like it.
Great video
Amazing video. You've recognized alot of flaws I have in myself.
Awww. Thank you. Not yet too late to do something about those flaws :)
@@DatingByBlaine you're right. Thank you:)
I do not understand this current dating culture; actually, it infuriates me. Why is there a need to play mind games? Why can't both a man and woman put all their cards on the table and just be real with one another with their innate personalities? Why must a woman "test" a man in this manner that you described? Based on the information that was presented in this video, is it safe to infer that the majority of women are self-absorbed egomaniacal narcissists who have weaponized their beauty in order to get what they want (or think they want)? I think so. However, once women lose their trump card (looks) typically after age 55, their egos erode and they seek companionship above anything else because their sexual value greatly diminishes in the dating marketplace.
Bro all you said is just fact and I have done a lot of research about "dark female nature" and I have also red a lot of ebook about dark female nature and all this is what you still experience in most women during marriage. It's very important for men to know about dark female nature and know how to be smart when dealing with women.
How are You gonna say something to a Woman that she disagrees with You in a date if You can't get a girl to go on a date with You if You're a "" Nice Guy"" and women don't date "" Nice Guys"" ???
I had exactly that thought several times through this vid. I don't even know who this vid was aimed at. Not the nice guys who get friend-zoned but no dates, not the bad boys who are gonna get laid without Blaine's advice, not Joe Average who has a cloak of invisibility as far as women are concerned, and not the poor b's on the bottom rungs of the rating ladder. Who does that leave?
This was some good stuff, thanks! Sometimes I put the girl too much above myself and I've been trying to work on that.
The amount of times I've had women telling me how boring their boyfriends are and how they are sick of them being so nice, I've tried explaining to them how that is a good thing and if your boyfriend was a jealous arse hole who battered you and didn't let you hang out with your mates you would not like that either, the reply I got was yeah well he could care a bit more so I said you are at another blokes house at 6 in the morning and you are complaining cos your boyfriend is not kicking off about it 😜 honestly I will never understand women as long as i live 😜
I really don't see how this video required 9 minutes and 28 seconds....sheesh..
I used to be a nice guy, i changed and putted myself first, i also improved in the looks and confidence department. BUT, i have to say that breaking out of this, women won't magically find you attractive, it will be the same life, but you are more comfortible in yourself, if you don't have any leads after you transform then you are in for a long run, and knowing that you don't get leads BUT don't want to be that "nice guy" either...yeah, you are trapped in a circle until you get leads somehow. It will get you no leads, but at least you'll be in a match better place if opportonuties present themeselves.
Peace
finishing last is a good thing. do you really want to spend your life with a guy that just finishes within the first minute?
49 year old man here …. This video is goofy 👎🏼👎🏼
good points 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Head spinning headache ahhhh.
I personally find it absolutely puzzling that someone who thinks that being nice is a sign of a weak individual....I'm a nice man yet when I'm taken advantage of or perhaps even thrown "under the bus " you are definitely going to witness the other side of me.....As nice as I am...I am just as evil...
No surprise relationships don't last, and women hit the wall at 30, when they can't get by on looks alone, they have nothing to offer.
My thoughts, for what little they're worth 🤪. There's a big difference between helping someone in need and letting someone bully you. If you're the type of person who puts others needs above your own and those people actually need your help, I think that's very attractive to most people. For example, sacrificing some of your relaxation time to volunteer at a soup kitchen. Doing that is putting others' needs above your own but I think that's awesome and very attractive.
This is very different from if some asshole is demanding something they don't deserve but you just go along with it because you want to avoid conflict and it's easier to just give in. That's very unattractive because it's really a lack a courage. By letting someone bully you, you aren't being nice to them. You're just being a coward. That's very unattractive.
I personally think that trying to "not be too nice" is the wrong thing to focus on. Yes, don't let people be mean to you without challenging them. Stand up for yourself. And I agree that you shouldn't spend tons of money on a first date because it can make the other person feel like they owe you something.
But if you were really kind to someone on a date and they rejected you, I seriously doubt that it's because they think you put other people's needs above your own. I'd expect it's more like they have specific preferences for their partners' personality type, sense of humor, physical appearance, achievements, communication style etc. I just don't think it's because they think someone is too generous to others. Because I think generosity and helping those in need is a great thing (not talking about people taking advantage of you).
If a woman seems to date assholes, those assholes are probably very physically attractive, maybe have a lot of money, and likely don't present themselves as assholes at first. They are probably good at appearing kind at first and wait until later to show their more negative traits. It's not their selfishness that was attractive. Women who truly want someone selfish probably have self esteem issues, and you don't want to focus on them anyway.
So my advice, as worthless as it is haha: If you get rejected this way, just focus on becoming the best version of yourself according to what you think is best, and find someone else. You likely just weren't compatible. Don't think about being more self interested.
Quite wise I think.
Agreed 100%!
Super thoughtful, Kevin!
interesting. good tips
What chance do have if women keep saying you are ugly no chance at all even my own sister said I was to ugly to get a girlfriend she was right
She's right. She does not recommend being a selfish asshole. She says to be kind and considerate, yet put your own interests first. Don't be afraid to disagree. Don't be a doormat. Stand up for what you believe. This will make women respect you, and without respect, there is no sexual attraction. Someone who is too agreeable can't be trusted. If you never say 'no', all your 'yesses' are meaningless.
If you don't want a nice guy or a nice girl you don't want a nice life
Blaine i love you❤
Nice guys finish last - when it comes to selfish and shallow people judging them. The women who have wised up and realized the errors of their ways in time to keep their nice guy never regret it. Stop encouraging idiots to reject nice guys. It only exacerbates the shallowness problem we have in this world.
Just be yourself and own yourself, guys. You don't have to change jack shit if you are a "nice guy". If your natural self isn't enough for them then they simply don't deserve you. I'm a nice guy and I'm also in an emotionally fulfilling relationship. This idea that you have to change yourself is complete and utter BS.
i wonder if you got an episode on vetting the right women for you. i been running into a lot of not so great women but they dont show those bad signs until later.
Nice Guys Don't Finish Last , Dating Coaches and Social Media tell women To Ignore Them and Not Date Them !!!
I can sum it up quickly using the title of a Country song, girls want "A Lot Less Talk and a Lot More Action"!
And if you don't have a goal ?
Great video as usual Blaine. But what's with that background music 😊
Thank you! What can you say about the background music?
This says a lot about women! No wonder why transmen are becoming the better women
Thank you for explaining this. However, some women want the man to plan the date to for him to prove leadership, and such. Okay, fine, but the catch would be IF I would take her to a place or activity she does not like. Well I am kinda screwed, because that would kind of ruin her hopeful impression about me, turned negatively. It would be much better just to ask what she would like to do as well? Apparently not. They do not want to think about the plans, that is a mans job. But would later complain about it when its not her "thing" . If she did not like where we went or activity we did. She should have given her input from the very beginning. There is always a contradiction in thinking when it comes to women. Is it being a nice guy to ask what she would like to do so both man and women enjoy each others company?? I guess not.
Make a video on nice girls pls
Amazing vid. This topic sounds familiar. Thanks for posting this extremely helpful advice.
I disagree with all of it though.
JK just practicing.
lol
This a long range run. Bad boys abandon women in the first three to five years. Leaving their children traumatized without a father to guide them in this evil
world. The they want a a good guy who take care of this broken family. This is very stupid. Men need to reject these women until they find a good and humble woman interested in raising a family with love. It is not that difficult.
Bro most girls are traumatized and are also narcissistic by nature.
This is well done, thx!
Poor Nate !
Arrgh..the "Vocal Fry" in the audio is deafening!
Yes i am more like a bad guy
* "Women want the finished product in men, they are not willing to go through this with him. His growing into life process", and another reason for men to step away from "those women". The "nice guy" and the "Simp" are a description of a good person growing up, and if you don't like it then you can't complain "where have all the good men gone"!!! A good therapist would know this.
* The "self-interest" comment is another double standard for women. Where she doesn't like it when he has self-interest, but it's okay if she does.
*** All this shows us that women are going through some intense growing pains, and us men need to step away from them as they go through this. OR get caught up in the destruction of their tornado. This is going to last about 10 years. So guys, find something else to do in that time... Independent men will love that "Freedom". And guys that love the companionship of women, need to join men's groups and keep busy.
Go in peace.
The men women are attracted to is sum'd up by the sugar hill gang- " hotel motel holiday inn.
If your girl starts acting up then you take her friend"
The issue, is that "nice guys" are not actually nice..... now let me explain.
The guys who are labelled as "nice guys" are those, who will do everything to a girl, a shoulder to cry on as she described, and i have seen things guys do that really are embarrassing just to have a chance with a girl .... think of it like watching national geography.
These same type of guys, won't be this nice to another guy, to an elderly, at work, but once they see a girl they like ... game over!
So simply girls who are genuine see that and want someone normal. Whereas girls who are crazy look for something more adventurous as this is boring, and the supply of such men is "buy one get 5 for free chasing you".
I’m sorry, did this video say that selfish behavior is sexy and desirable behavior? Really? I must be reading that wrong, because that sounds terrible.
Also, these callbacks to “caveman” days or “evolution” is merely an excuse used to justify current behaviors and habits. It is not based on any reputable science or anthropology.
“Nice,” of course, is a loaded word and this gets everyone into trouble. Personally, I feel our society is stuck in a high school mindset, where jocks bully nerds and are rewarded as being “strong” and “dominant” by children who should know better. Its values of dominance, brutality, selfishness, and cruelty are all too common. I guess this is a fancy way of saying so many guys out there are insane psychos. But we have certainly forgotten how to behave with kindness, gentleness and humility.
Bottom line: if you are unhappy with your romantic life, you will need to make changes, both in how you treat others and how you treat yourself. Embrace kindness and love, for yourself and others.
Treat these women like side quest bro. If u cant get anything out her then toss her. And find another. Lie to get wit u want and cheat whenever u want. There is no prize life is the prize so live it.
Nice is not the word to use. You should use the word stupid and smart
Be attractive. Don’t be unattractive
Whos to blame ? Woman ?
Do people ware that there are Nice Women traits as well, but they don’t finished last, they are just life lesson.
I think another thing nice guys don't always realize about themselves, but women definitely notice, is that they think their "nice" behaviors entitle them to immediate sex or a relationship.
This used to be me. I thought that getting a girl some special gift for her birthday/Xmas would be a clear sign and she'd then reciprocate with a date. That's just not how it works, and once you realize your own motives you also realize what you're doing isn't a nice gift, it's an implicit transaction.
Modern dudes need to realize that brief moments of fake politeness or big spending on a date aren't the only alternative to being an a-hole, and most of all stop blaming women because they don't care for what we're offering. It's ok and healthy to take personal responsibility and better ourselves WITHOUT expecting immediate gratification after step 1.
+1 great callout. Checking certain boxes (e.g. good career, good person) doesn't directly translate to dating success. These are necessary but not sufficient conditions :)
How do I get laid then? Asking women for sex hasn't worked.
Women give those things instantly to losers and badboys, so why shouldn't good men expect it? We should be treated BETTER than the trash, but women invert that and treat garbage men like kings while crapping on good ones. If you let a woman string you along, not giving you what she freely and immediately gave to assholes, you're a damned fool.
I disagree because i am a nice guy and my wife thought so. If i didnt allow cancer to come into our lives and take her life shed be alive this very day and we would still be happy together. I should have stopped it
Well I have a split personality, I was born and raised a Nice Guy 😇 and at the same time I have the ability to be an asshole/jerk 👹 (only when there's a bunch of Assholes and jerks around me) and I promise you you're not gonna like it! Trust me!!! I know myself than my parents does. A nice guy inside of me is much better than the other one! And He always Prevail because he's a nice guy. But IF being an Asshole/Jerk will be the only thing to make any Women so friggin happy then I can be an asshole/jerk at any moment it's like a Shift on the Fly.
Dead man walking
You've done it now
You've gone and made a big mistake
And I can't allow, you to think you can just walk away
So turn around, and face the piper you're gonna pay
'Cause the end is now
This is gonna be your judgement day
A cheap shot
That's the way that you play the game
I was blindsided, things will never ever be the same
Nice guys, it's said they always finish last
But bad-asses, always kicking asshole's asses
Kick it
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
There's no forgiveness this time
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
It's my business, your mind
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
I'm burning these ones to the ground
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
I'm gonna Bring you down
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
No more chances
No more excuses, no lies
Your stories ending, time to say your goodbyes
Nice guys, it's said they always finish last
But bad-asses, are always kicking asshole's asses
Asshole
Kick it
Kick it
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
There's no forgiveness this time
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
It's my business, your mind
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
I'm burning these ones to the ground
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
I'm gonna Bring you down
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay
-Jim Johnston
Stop watching this, I have the answer - woman like this prefer having one foot out the door , so if any ANYTHING minor happens, they can ditch and move on to the next guy. Nice guys generally don't do anything wrong, so women find themselves having to choose between actually being happy or seeing what else is out there. Woman don't want happiness, they want excitement.
Nice guys generally do EVERYTHING wrong because they treat a woman the way they think a woman should want to be treated. The a-hole treats them the way they actually want to be treated. You can’t actually make someone happy but you can get them excited!