If You Fall In Love Fast - Watch This... | Russell Brand
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- Subscribe to my channel here: tinyurl.com/opr...
(make sure to hit the BELL icon to be notified of new videos!)
Listen to my Under The Skin podcast here:
luminary.link/r...
Get my book "Recovery" here: amzn.to/2R7c810
Get my book "Mentors" here (and as an audiobook!): amzn.to/2t0Zu9U
Instagram: / russellbrand
Twitter: / rustyrockets
Produced by Jenny May Finn (Instagram: @jennymayfinn)
A lot of people who had abusive and neglectful parents tend to fall in love quickly because they’re not used to be treated with kindness. So any itty bitty scraps of affection and kindness that someone gives them can mean the whole world to a childhood abuse survivor.
Knowing this hurts me
I grew up with two strict Asian parents who would show more aggression than affection so I can definitely relate to this comment. I guess this is one of my greatest weaknesses...
So that explaines it
Exactly… I’m sick of being grateful for scraps. I know I deserve more, but struggle to find someone who will invest.
God that is so true
My mom used to say, "You're in love with being in love". I think she was right.
Brain cells are strong in this one
Perhaps she recognised either herself or her ex or current partner/s in you, since we often repeat our parents’ relationship patterns, esp when young & before understanding & transcending those patterns.
matthew sullybob unnecessary negativity is strong in this one
I know I do do that
matthew sullybob Cringe, stop trying so hard to be funny.
When there's a lack of self love, we seek others to fill that void
Even with adequate self love, in some cosmic broader picture the others are part of your larger self, and another person may be able to get your heart and electro-chemical flow going a bit more than when we are alone, especially when the other is giving energy and lust because they want you, and are hungry to make you happy and enjoy your energy.
you might be very right...
Not in all cases, your generalizing.
i really dont believe or agree, people are inherently social attention seeking creatures, some people get that at their jobs, or their hobbies and for those who have been trully in love, the highest doses of those are from being in "love" even if it isnt real or its just for a moment, people dont just try to love for lack of self love. lack of self love usually doesnt allow for you to "pass on love" lack of self love is an entirely different idea and i really dont think you get ut
Resonate alott 🙏♥️much love
I've been falling in love too quickly all my life. I don't meet guys that I 'consider' often, but when I do meet a candidate, I'm all in before you can take a damn breath and they're up on a pedestal and I'm worshipping away like a mad thing 🤦♀️
I needed this message today!
I'm the same way. My girl becomes my only priority, my purpose. From love letters on the bathroom mirror in the morning, daily texted poems, daily flowers when I return from work. But most people don't do the same. I believe I started to expect it and became upset. So I walked. Oh well, NEXT...
@@jeremyowens4115 the people we love should be the priority but they can't be our purpose. We're more attractive when we have other interests. It's so hard to find the right balance. I think I thin too much 😂
@@raindrops21_9 True story. I learned that if you treat someone like a celebrity, eventually you'll become just a fan in their eyes.
@@jeremyowens4115 so true! I don't want someone who wants to be worshipped. I want someone who wants to be my *partner* in life.
People who fall quickly tend to choose mates who will hurt them or who is not the best for them. There is a subconscious stream of thought telling the person that they are unlovable and that this is it. If this person leaves them, they will be alone forever. It's funny to me how PET brain scans of people in love compared to cocaine addicts were nearly identical. Look it up if you're interest or like sources.
Russel has a way of talking to the camera that makes you feel like he is sitting in front of you and staring into your soul. Amazing stuff man.
You're right. Maybe because there's no veil of BS fuzzing up the lens. People who can bluntly but tactfully speak their minds to connect & teach are comforting. Even if what they say might be difficult to hear sometimes. Honesty is so hidden nowadays & desperately needed & people are starving for direction & intelligent human discussion to remind them that they're not going crazy.
I think he is the closest thing we have in our generation that could be a successor to Alan Watts. FWIW, Watts drank himself to death, make of that what you will.
Never noticed that, but so true.
Well… one would think that would be the effect you give when you direct your attention into the camera the entire time you’re being recorded… 🤔
@@Bread_n_Butter. Not at all man. It takes a certain skill to be able to talk like him and connect with people.
“When a man learns to love. He must bear the the risk of hatred”
- Madara Uchiha
best show ever
nice
Their is a thin line between love and hate. Often those who you have loved that then betray you, turns your love into hatred. If you never loved in the first place you would feel indifferent to their betrayal. If you watch naruto, Madara uchiha is betrayed by his best friend after they both had a dream of creating a utopia together (the leaf village) but his friend betrays him and isolates him from the village because of differentiating dreams. Causing a deep hatred for Madara uchiha which started as love.
😂
katon gouka mekkyaku!!
“The price of love is pain” - Just hearing that causes tightness in my chest
Love is worth every heartache. 💔
and that sore in your loins, don't hear you complaining about that.
So is the price of lust.
I'll cause you tightness somewhere else baby
I’m tattooing that
“Falling in love isn’t about holding on, it’s about letting go” damn Russel
"Freedom comes when you learn to let go" - The Power of Goodbye, Madonna 😂
It's extremely painful but it's very true.
So pleased I read this today! ♥️
“Love is sacrifice” is what my beloved father used to say, God rest his soul. When we truly love and commit to that person and that person commits to you, you eventually will pay the ultimate price of pain. One day you or that person will no longer exist on this plane and that will cause the most profound pain. But it is worth every to tear to have enjoyed every smile that person gifted you.
Alixza I agree with all you say. It involves sacrifices. But you get lots of good stuff in return. The best life can give you.
😭tragic but so true
I am unbelievably lost at the moment, regretting everything I have done in my 53 years and feeling entirely useless. But tonight I have been blessed in finding Russell Brand on RUclips. I’ve spent the past hour listening to him, he’s like an old friend helping me get my head straight. I am so thankful for this x
Yep im 49 and although having raised two amazing children I wonder what I have done with my life.
Anna, same at 58 & time is running out rapidly..bless you.
I fell in love too quickly in my early twenties. Took almost 7 years of pain, into which a child was born, and finally having my heart broken before I now realised it was co dependence. It was obsession. But also, perhaps more profoundly, a deep need to be loved unconditionally, and without boundaries. And I'm not sure thats real Love. That's fear.
"That's fear." That is beyond profound. I relate to what you have said so much. What do you think real love is?
Well defined.
You are much more beautiful now
I fell in love with a black girl
When we met we both felt we had known each other in other lives we were just picking up where we had left off...
@@dylankopff7139 point of your comment in relation to the rest?
so what do you do once you recognise it? im in my mid twenties and i only find myself getting anxious over it, having recognized this behavior, but not much really changes. i'll try to love and take care of myself each day but this feeling still keeps breaking me down. it is fear and a deep need to be loved unconditionally in deed. and no matter how hard i try to look past it, it catches up with me. especially when i'm in a web of relationships built from this need..
The best relationship you can have is with YOU first. funny enough, it will improve all other relationships in your life.
I like this a lot!
I know this to be true. I do struggle to love my self totally however.
Soo true 🕯️💟🕯️💟🕯️💟🕯️💟
Key
What does this mean and how do you do it? I hear people say it but nothing else and I never know any details about it.
This is the Russell Brand appreciation comment. Like if you appreciate Russell.
I feel so conflicted, because I love Russel, but I hate your comment.
You're a "comment cheater"
@@TheLivirus That's funny. I laughed.
🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
We're watching the Russel Brand appreciation video though we can just give that the like, rather than your comment which has to do with you, not the guy who made the video?
I quickly realized that as quickly I fall in love, I FALL OUT OF LOVE just as easily. That was the scary part for me. There I would be in a relationship that I didn't want to be in. How unfair to do that to other people. Nowadays, I do not take that step forward, because I always find something in that person, that I do not like.
I think your mistaken or at least have never found unconditional love.
I’ve felt the same way
Belle19700 But do you find something you don't like so you can fall out of love more easily? That's what I do. When it isn't moving fast enough or doesn't seem like it's what I really want I sometimes intentionally alienate the person to get out of the entire situation. But at an old age I know what Russel means about real love or true love. I might even call it divine--not the first word I'd choose but I get what he's saying. True love has to be about the other person. You are both loving each other and looking out for each other. (Hmmm sounds like what marriage is supposed to be about.)
@@jschuler53 how do you get out of this loop? Because I do try to find something bad about the other because I try to get out of the fast love process. I know I fall in love fast and I hate it
Yes I’ve learnt to not give my whole life up just to be with that person and aim for that perfect disney like movie ending and to just chill out focus on my work, meet new people no strings attached, really analyse a person and make a decision not let chemicals force me into a temporary decision
"The price of love is pain." That is going to stick with me for a while.
Going through this now... "moved too quickly"
1000%
Could be the title of a DSBM album.
@@davidmorris6278 what is that?
Hi, it's true, I recently got attracted to an actor in our region, it seems to be an unattainable crush. It was a sexual attraction, I feel very disappointed for not able to explore my sexuality with the person i desired. Any wisdom?......
“Giving your heart out like a Ferraro Rocher” 😂
Cherry Wallis this is so me. It has a definitely an addiction.
Spoiler alert
😂😇😂
Read Erich Fromm’s book the art of loving ...
Oh Russell haha
Timing of this.. potentially saved me from a whole world of hurt
right?!
Awwww
same
Wow me too actually. 😂😂 Or maybe it hasn't saved me we'll see. The force is strong. 🙈🤣 I think he suffered from limerance. I do too. It's really strong. It's addictive.
I did not watch this video, but this Russell brand (albeit a good man) is a snake in sheep's clothing. The definition of love is the willingness to lay down one's life for another. That is love. Nothing less than that can or will suffice.
I fell in love quickly. Within 6 months we were engaged & within a year bought our first place. After 2 years came marriage & after 3, 6 & 9 years came children. My wife & I have now been together 17 years & our relationship has been tested along the way. We're more in love now than we've ever been. Like parenting, I think relationships are a constant learning curve & you need to keep on adapting. Great vid Russ, sending love & hugs. xx
it sounds like both you and your wife fell in love quickly though & were in the same head space.. (which is rare).. Usually 1 person is more invested in a relationship than the other... which makes it hard for ppl who fall in love quickly bc the relationship will develop at a faster pace than the other person is comfortable with .. It sounds like your relationship developed naturally for both of you and you were both in a similar frame of mind. You both wanted to work hard to make the relationship work. 90% of the time this isn't the case.
Imagine having fallen in love with ur wife and having the relationship naturally develop as it did but then after that 6 months when you were about to get engaged she gets scared, runs away and sleeps with your best friend because she wasn't comfortable with how quickly your relationship developed (even though it felt completely natural progression to both of you at the time) It hurts to reign in your emotions and pretend like you don't care as much as you do for the sake of the other. This is the sort of pain Russell is talking about. You might not even realize your dependence until the thread snaps.
@David Erlstoke That's a horrible suspicion to have about someone you don't know. Not everyone is out there to get/betray us. Those trust issues you seem to have will make it very hard on any of your potential partners. I found out recently my husband of only 6 months cheated on me before marriage but it doesn't make me assume every man will be like that. I hope you can heal from your trauma and allow yourself to be open to new people.
@u001 you are doomed
Who'd you captain in FPL?
@@fantasywrldorder9590 😂 GW5 it's on Son vs West Ham & KDB VC. 👌
Russell really shines when imparting wisdom like this outside of politics. He’s a smart dude who’s had a ton of experiences and immense self reflection (probably through years of therapy). You really don’t hear this good of advice from anyone besides Jordan Peterson nowadays.
"Am willing to change, am I willing to sacrifice, am I willing to put someone's needs over mine". That's the metric.
“...you may need to consider the number of times you’ve felt the very same things for different people...” That bit really hit it home for me...damn...we are very lucky to have a man such as Russell on this planet. Thank you, kind and good sir ✌🏼
Yes! This sentence made me change from "maybe this could be my behaviour" to "yeh ok, I'm listening"
@@analogische exactly what I was thinking! hah
I was making notes while listening and when that came up I was like 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ nearly made a list
@@aam3361 LMAO😂😆😁 I feel your Honesty mate😂😊.. I do! 🤗🤗
oh my my. I have doing the same thing too. Need to sort myself out
A friend of mine was going through a break up and we were having a beer. I was deliberately making an effort to listen. He said that it was painful but he wasn't sad. The emotional torment made him feel alive (I'm paraphrasing). It took me by surprise and in that moment I realised that I had been approaching relationships in a way that was far to reserved. A psychological safety limit to avoid too much pain if it failed. Once I learnt that about myself I approached future relationships wholeheartedly and without fear of potential failure. I am 100 times better for it.
Cool story. I kind of get the "emotional safety net" thing. I fall in love really quickly only to get heartbroken, get depressed and lose all direction in my life. It might have only been a few months but I tend to forget everything in my life outside of my relationship. Over time I got burned and emotionally I became more an more blunted and pessimistic about love to the point that I cut my emotions off entirely when approaching relationships. I'm a pretty introspective person so I became entirely focused on myself and improving myself as a person and over time I found I actually have very little interest in relationships.. What I actually wanted was fulfillment in my own life. The more I get to know myself the less quickly I've fallen in love. I feel like Russell is similar in the way he talks about "religion" filling that gap for him.
Having a balance between the safety net and heightened emotional reverie is key. I am conservative with other parts of my life except for love in the past. Living like that is dangerous and damaging because what that person is seeking is not love. It could be acceptance, validation, self-worth and other values that people cannot give you anyway because these qualities are instinct qualities. Also, people prey on those who are too open-hearted, kind or emotional.
That's an interesting perspective. Most of the time people are more careful with opening themselves up. But I do believe that It's a good thing to be able to do that, although a risky thing. But I guess that's the price of it all ya know. I've heard lots of youtube people talking bout how you shouldn't fall in love, you should love. It's clearly a defensive mechanism but adding a little bit of that at the beginning atleast, seems almost like a must for me. Maybe looking for balance is key.
I'll have your perspective in mind though
@@jordanious7711 Well based off what you've just written I can tell you do a lot of introspection.
Your view of the situation seems profoundly accurate, and I feel similarly.
“Real love is not about control..not about holding on. It’s about letting go” -R.Brand 😌
I have a hard time with this as well, “life hardened me,” I felt that. But now I’ve gotten good at reading when people are good for me and I’ve learned to love myself first.
Some of us are meant to be alone, I am okay with this and have learned to live with it.
Here's a guy who's using his talent to go back and help others who are struggling the same way he did. This is what recovery is all about, and very inspiring.
Summary : Falling in love too quickly, innocently in adolescence( just wanting to love and be loved) , older: meeting someone new, hooking up and wanting more.
People who fall in love quickly should Not make Love their Priority in Life.
With the prospect comes a lot of pain. Almost instantaneous pain at every encounter of falling.
If it's real it won't feel transient, otherwise it's just fulfilling self need of approval.
To feel love and to love, direct it at something which can handle all your love always forever, direct your love at universe /spirit /God and feel it always returned.
I need to keep that in mind. Thanks Jasmin, I find myself getting lost in the energy of it all... It feels like it's a matter of creating some space between my awareness and my thoughts.
@@paulsmithbc Well put, Paul. You described just what I feel I should do. Many times I have to keep reminding myself how little it all means, so I don't cripple myself and require the other person as a crutch.
I really need to hear that thank you
Russell is very deep. I guess due to the part he plays as a player no pun intended in movies. I thought that was really who he was. In interviews he always talks about how much he loves women and flirts. Nice to know he's a romantic. There aren't a lot of them 😍
Beautiful thank you
"The price of love is pain." That's it man, that's been my experience so far. Falling in love is so beautiful and scary. Being vulnerable to someone. Opening yourself up to judgement and rejection. It's like I can almost sense the heartbreak looming in the distance, waiting for it's time to return to me. I am trying to learn how to love unconditionally. My trauma and insecurities have left me broken. It's so hard to trust people and to love without anxiety and paranoid thoughts. Whenever something happens that could even be slightly interpreted as betrayal, my mind immediately jumps to the worst possible outcomes. It's unhealthy, and not fair to my partner. Love is so complicated and recently I have been unable to stop thinking about it. I want to be loved. I want to meet my soul mate. I want to give love.
Your mind jumping to the worst possible conclusion could be a protective thing to prepare you for something. It could be a survival mechanism your brain has developed that is preparing you for possible pain. My (unsolicited) advice is don’t be so hard on yourself :) because this life/ love thing is a journey of discovery and compassion
So much self awareness! Props.
Stop yearning for anything from anyone. Love and follow your purpose of life; everything will fall into place. Much love from India.
@@rohaan. um does it tho????
1. Learn to accept yourself and all of your perceived flaws.
2. Love yourself, and make choices that demonstrate this self-love.
3. Have high standards and do not be so quick to compromise these standards. You deserve the best.
4. Try new things. You never know where you could meet someone who meets your standards. At the very least, you’ll have experienced many things that life has to offer.
I think if you follow those 4 tips, which might take some time to master (especially number 1), you’ll find yourself ready and able to accept and give the love you deserve.
I needed this video today, as I say goodbye to my ex... She is moving overseas indefinitely to pursue her life's dream, and I am just getting established in my work and finally earning a decent living here in the States. I really resonated with your statement that "true love is often painful" and more about letting go than holding on. We will always love each other, but we're not at a point where we can continue on as lovers.
I can relate, for me it was important to let my ex know she should focus on her education and i would never be the person to deny her that, much respect to you bro
@@softbuns thanks man, you too. It sounds like the same scenario. It's tough knowing what to do, especially when long distance enters the picture
You are really brave, I really wish you happiness. You have touched my heart with your story, its inspiring to me how respectful you act, lots of luck in life
Same thing happened to me , got together at uni and once we finished the distance was too much for her and she wanted to travel around with her friends , so we parted ways . Sucks but sometimes that’s just life
i really like the last line. very sold point.
I was this way as a teenager and after watching this, I now understand that I was just longing for kindness and affection, and using those euphoric feelings to get myself through my miserable existence. I outgrew this in my twenties because I found another feel good outlet: writing. And thankfully, this one doesn’t break my heart lol
I look back now that I've stopped drinking,and see that falling in love like this is like an addiction. Even the loss of love has this addictive quality.
I've been engaged soooo many times and now in my 10th year of being a singleton, I needed to fall in love with myself first..🙏
Fuck it ..dont change..madness is not badness
Ask yourself what void you are trying to fulfill. Sometimes we use relationships with others to fulfill needs only we can meet, such as success, our purpose in life etc. If this is the situation, it won't matter if you are single or have a partner.
@@moderndaycynic695 what void is in front of you??
@@patriciahealey2927 I am doing the work to heal past hurts and fulfill my purpose in life. The journey is difficult, but it is worth it.
@@patriciahealey2927 made me laugh...😆
Why are all of these videos being suggested to me when i’m aching from a break-up 😂 How have I found myself being comforted by Russel Brand 😂😂
he is kindofa like a god dont worry we all feel the same lol
Haha, same here! I always thought he was a twat but I'm actually liking listening to him! He talks alot of sense!
@@Shaz-re8qe
The guy speak straight up trews these days Shaz.
From what I've seen of Russel over the past 10 or 12 years is that he looks more within his own consciousness these days.. Very insightful guy indeed
Lol sams
I used to... when I was delusional and somewhat pathetic. Literally in need of sympathy. Until I gave myself the care and respect I needed I started trying to see people for who they are, instead of who I wanted them to be. Now I will listen to your pearls of wisdom Mr Brand.
Ooof thanks Reuben. 😅
“Life hardened me”
Same Russell, same..
what does it mean?
You are in love when you are willing to change, willing to sacrifice, willing to put the person's needs out of mind. That's a kind of love with a more sustainable base, so the selfishness doesn't work here. Interesting, great thoughts ☺️
This is very interesting. I did this when I was young and paid a huge price for doing it. Now, I meet a gentleman that sparks my curiosity and I might get a little bit of excitement at first as in, "ooohhh, where will this go" but then I step back and observe the person very carefully. I also have no issues with just walking away at anytime with no emotional ties. It's just like "Nope, this doesn't work for me." To tell you the truth I am very happy living my life on my own, so any man that wants to step onto this path I am traveling has to be okay with me just as I am. He also needs to be okay with himself just as he is. Today, my definition of a relationship is two people whose paths meet and merge for a time. That time, can be for a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade or maybe they walk all the way to the end of the path on Earth for one of the two people.
Sallyjane woods, you are so beautiful 🌹 🌹🌷 🌷🌷🌺🌹 🌹 and too intelligent lol 😁
Maybe that's why some call it the red string of fate. 🎀 Some people are just tied to the same destiny so they'll always walk the same path no matter where it goes. A bit like star crossed lovers. But I guess that can also be said for friends, family, etc. The people who are willing to keep walking with you are the ones who deserve that love. I guess after reading your comment I became a bit of a romantic. ❤️
Damn that's a great way to put it. It's a bit sad but at the same time empowering to realize.
seems you now have an avoidant attachment pattern. on the other side of things, its very difficult to date someone like that. it may be what you are comfortable with but I cant quite get there as far as this way you look at connection is truly the healthiest. if everyone looked at it like you, hardly any families would form much less stay together....this modern era has created the cult of the individual....putting me me me on a pedestal isnt exactly the worst way to live but I dont think it is truly the most evolved either. at our cores we are social beings and always will be...capitalism has created the opportunity for people to persuade themselves of the illusion that they live in bubbles of their own design and control but we are much more dependent on each other and society than many want to acknowledge. no one is really alone...or "steering their own path" in my honest opinion....just pretending to themselves that they are.
For me it came from a life long abandonment. I realize now love can never come from fear. The thought was if I was sweet enough, put up with enough, forgave them enough, loved them enough I would finally be good enough to not be abandoned. Wounds with gapping holes no matter the best of intentions does not equal love. If I surrender my power, make myself a sexual slave, a household slave did that garnish the love that my soul ached for no
😳😳😳😳😳
That's exactly how it was for me...
As someone who has dealt with the effects of borderline personality disorder, I completely identify with this comment. I appreciate seeing this vulnerability, as it makes me feel not so alone. Thank you.
I used to think something similar from the male side. I thought any relationship would work if I only paid for the house/food, put up with the intermittent nagging, stayed loyal, and tidy. Unfortunately it's not as simple as that.
I hesitate to say this in a "public comment", but I am in this kind of situation. I would like to share my story with you. I was always shy or timid. Always falling in love only to be nearly imediately heart broken. Was always hoping and longing to be in idealistic loving relationship, but spent years feeling starved for affection, like a scrawny cat that nobody ever rubs. Then I meet someone who likes the same music as me, connects with my soul, kisses me and then sleeps with my hot friend. So I close my eyes and breath, draw a picture, smile, sing a song and pretend as best I can not to be hurt.
After going through this enough times I know its not all bad, I get to be treated like a nice gentle person. But what they dont realize is what its like to be physically disconected from everytime. I broke my neck when I was young and luckily I am not fully paralized, but I understand that the nervous system being stimulated and activated is good for the health of the whole human body. Why do people feel stronger, healthier and rejuvinated after making love? Because the physical energy activates processes in nerves and other cells. Humans are Apes like Chimpanzees and Bonobos...
Our ancestors lived in tribes of and where highly social and affectionate. Modern humans living in cities are alone in a box, which is so unnatural but it all we've ever known.
Getting back to your coment,
My current relationship, One year, 24 hours a day, -we seperated 3 days ago, for the 50th time... I was/am with someone who's more experienced than me, they are a popular singer, very beautiful, but also very cruel to me. Your comment really resonates
riainprendergast love isn’t meant to be cruel and they shouldn’t sleep with your hot friend, they should just enrich and add to your life. Obviously there’s struggles but they should hopefully make you grow together not apart, sending strength and I hope you find love and also keep it within❤️ and also it took courage to share that with us and choose to let it out
It is exactly like addiction! To me it feels the same. I agree that type of codependancy and obsession cannot endure. Despite how it feels in the moment. True love. Is a lot softer a lot slower and a lot more enduring.
yes the chemicals released are similar to drugs..
The euphoria of the connection and then the letting go is like physical pain. It’s an addiction.
It's not just like addiction - it is addiction
It really does suck, because when you get emotionally invested in someone too quickly for nothing by nature that person will value you less. Despite understanding this I am desperate, I just want that person but I'm obviously not good enough for her, so thus my ego intervenes and I spend my time here trying to feel better about myself.
I love you Russell. I’ve had the same sort of open-gut/open-hearted yearning that left me vulnerable to the elements, and I know the pain, like cold steel in your marrow. Now I want to reserve this precious vulnerable state for someone who respects me for where I’m at right now.
3 STEPS to finding a SOUL MATE:
1. Know your core values and find someone who shares them. These can't be superficial i.e. money, looks, fame - or it won't last
2. Be honest with yourself and your partner. Address issues early, rather than ignoring them because you're afraid to have an argument. And if you know things aren't working, don't lie to yourself and say that they are. That will only result in more suffering later on.
3. Work on yourself! Then more healthy and whole you are the better your chances are of attracting a good human being. Like attracts like. If you keep getting into bad relationships there's things in you that you have to fix.
Blessings 🌺🙏
Edit: here is a video I made on this topic: ruclips.net/video/N_ZIIg9xVV0/видео.html
The funny thing, humans think they are the smartest creature on this planet.. the thing we forget we are the last creature created and therefore the dumbest.. Therefore what you think is clever and intelligent is actually complete stupidity. That's the point we fail to see .. stop trying to make life so complex and ridiculous.. You're only going to damage everything around you by demanding so much to make yourself happy or the illusion of happiness
I agree!!!
@@pazzodi3 as long as our actions are guided by our soul qualities and not ego, we are ok.
Been following this formula with dedication, I am now going on my 6th year of cellabacy as a result. I can't seem to meet anyone who shares my values and desire to serve humanity and whom is also interested in me and available to date... It feels hopeless
@@Recoveryplus yeah but what is ok
I fall in love too fast, and I get my heart broken a lot. I've broken a lot of bones in my life, but a broken heart hurts the most. Plus, a broken heart takes so damn long to heal.
Broken bones?
This video made me realize I have an addictive personality disorder but my addiction is love. What a life
When he said when he'd sleep with some people and not want them to leave it broke my heart a little. 💀
"All of us want to delve into that cloud of hormonal euphoric love, but it's very difficult to live there...."
Where did this wisdom come from? Never in my life thought I would be moved and a philosophical way by Russell Brand I love it keep it coming
Being in love is often stressful and hard work in general. Usually there's an imbalance with one person feeling more strongly. If you are fortunate to find equilibrium with another is when you fully feel the joy of love.
I agree. I always find myself going for girls who are more into me than i am into them, almost as some sort of defense mechanism and way to have power in the relationship.
During a very rough time, I had an experience where a voice said “no human being can love you as much as I do”. And it meant exactly this, expecting divine love from another human being is unfair to the individual you think you love. That said, I still really struggle with this. You can get whacked on the head by god and still not ‘get it’.
How is it unfair when you’re willing to give it?
I like that
@@amerokeewiya1320 but are you?
Even though I have no interest in so called celebrities, I really like Russell, he has depth.
He's one of the most detached celebrities out there in relation to the seriousness of our current zeitgeist. (No pun intended)
@lynby I second that
Andre P . Being mindful, having empathy and an ethical connection ( being vegan) is key to the current situation. Therefore he isn’t detached, far from it.
@@lynby2108 What I mean by detached is, not lost in or distracted by the circus of entertainment/fame/power etc.👍
Andre P ah I see, agreed :)
So true, once I awakened to Spirituality, the Love within me no longer required a target nor any form of reciprocation. Love passes through me in an endless renewable stream, alive and vibrant.
"Real love isn't about holding on, it's about letting go" I needed to hear that today and yesterday.
Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you for a second chance. He was the one who helped me restore back my broken relationship of 3 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
Whtsaap him**
+ 2 3 4 7 0 4 4 5 0 9 7 9 2!!
When your heart gets broken you fall in love a lot slower
i dont read stuff like this so often. a short sentence but a huge meaning behind it. perfectly said mate!
I needed to hear this, I've been working so hard on myself the past couple years. I realised a short time ago, I am the most important relationship I can have. No more trying to fill my heart with other people.
Last week I had my heart broken by the person who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I needed his perspective. I too don't think I can handle the buzz as I recklessly throw myself at others for approval of my own to perpetuate the limited ideals of what I think I need. I'm meditating and allowing love to be a serving and selfless need for others. Thank you for allowing me to grow Russell.
This man it's so espiritually connected with him self and has lived so many experiences that it becomes overwhelming to hear
I find that I sacrifice my own happiness and fulfillment to make other people happy. Then when the relationship ends I feel empty and like I have nothing left. It’s this constant cycle of having to build myself up again and I still cling to those people because I gave them all I had and I guess I just want that back in a way.. I want myself back. I want the parts of me I gave back. Why does it feel like I lose myself when these relationships end? I have always been the one willing to change, sacrifice, and sustain but I have never been with anyone who wants the same. I’m just exhausted with how I feel and process the ending of romantic relationships.
It's called codependency. I have it too. I tick all the boxes. Hard work to reprogram myself. Other's happiness and problems are not your responsibility, your own happiness is, by pleasing others you cheat yourself just for a short good feel about yourself. You are amazing don't forget it.
I almost look back and see those really intense feelings I had for other people as being a kind of egotism. Especially when I used to feel that way towards people who were very warm with me straight away without me having to do anything to win them over. You come to that crushing realization that anyone who would act that way to someone who is very shy and maybe struggles to give other people a reason to be interested in them, would be like that with literally anyone and therefore that warmth is meaningless. And the more crushing realization that I wasn’t genuinely infatuated with these people, I just liked how they made me feel.
Thank you for writing all this, helped a lot to see my case clearly
I’ve spent a lot of time and money trying to get help for this and it took about 8 minutes to get what I needed. That’s embarrassing but I’m grateful to have heard these words today. Thank you.
You and I both Sherman. Let us all move on and heal from this 🤲🏻
Ayesha Pyesha ✊🏾
Good man. I needed to be reminded again. Today. Glad I'm not alone? Stay strong m'friend.
The comments have really touched me at a whole different level. I'm glad we can learn and grow from this.
I have a problem with obsessive love. This is the most helpful thing I’ve ever heard regarding this.
Great point on what love actually is. Putting someone else before yourself and willing to change, that's LOVE!
I think this is you at your best Russel. Straight talk from the heart. I feel like you offer truly insightful wisdom here. So thanks brother 🙂
I'm learning to love me first!! I haven't never put me first I'm 55yrs old and I'm loving Everything !! Everyone!! ❤❤😉
❤❤❤❤❤
Loving myself comes naturally- it's being selfless that is difficult.
@@mayflowermarket I know!!😉
Speaking of love...I do love Russell Brand. He’s a gift for us all.
I told my longtime girlfriend my problems and she said " I have problems of my own "... I knew it wasn't love.
I’ve noticed when I have opened up to any girlfriend I felt had the potential for longevity they tend to give up once I show vulnerability. Been single for a few yrs now and the dating scene is awful.
@@AthenaTheWolf Dating is awful and always has been due to humans having value dissorders in which is derived from the global economic system. We value each other based of a false premise of meaning and importance hence love and relationships being problematic. How to change that? Fucking change are way of conduction.
@@AthenaTheWolf All I want is my bf to fully and completely open up to me.
Lafida LA. This gives me some hope.
@@0zzySpartan117 You will need to look for alternative and possibly spiritual women like me then. All i can say is, they're difficult to find. But they are out there
My wife died a couple of years ago and the pain transformed me. I fall in love all the time, looking for someone to sacrifice for and rebuild again. I know that my second marriage will be better than the first. But its not possible to find anyone, which causes more pain, which transforms me more. Maybe this pain machine is propelling me to something good. ... I did not know Russell Brand was so wise, introspective, truthful, and willing to change and grow. That's super rare. I'm going to watch all his videos now.
I started out feeling like my husband was my security blanket. It wasn't about infatuation but it was definitely about what he could do for me. Over the years, we have both grown and now we're deeply in love--deep, selfless love. He has terminal cancer now and I'll lose him in his 50s and I can agree with you that the price of love is indeed pain.
I hope you have the strength to make every day left count. ❤️❤️
@@septicalfrogs Thank you!
Please don't lose hope. Look into 'Never fear cancer again' by Raymond Francis
I face an unbearable situation.
I begin thinking
‘It won't work anyway.’
‘They will all hate me.’
‘I will only be humiliated.’
Then I think about the situations I have been avoiding.
Meeting with people that make me feel uncomfortable.
Work that stresses me out.
Things I have been procrastinating for a while.
....
Now I can deal with it
I love ur video
Yeah sometime I can’t stand thoughts
Actually my problem is the exact opposite to the title, I fall in love so very slowly (I don't know if it is love but i can't just meet someone and feel like I directly love them, it takes me time to feel that i love that person) but once I reached the point where I know I love that person, I will do everything to keep him/her happy ,pleased, satisfied.
Seems very healthy to me !
I honestly don’t know what I’d do without these videos russ, I’m an addict who’s going through a break up and your wisdom talks to me on my level. Heartbreak as an addict is dangerous
I get such strong feelings of infatuation I can almost mistake it for love
how do you know the difference though?
@@justynak7644 I wish someone could answer this one for me
@@MKULTRA_Victim_ I think it might be the same thing. I think the only not real good one is lust as that likely does not lead to love of the person. I mean when a man wants to sleep with a man and that's it.
hi, what do you mean by "infatuation"?
Just got back from holiday where I met the most amazing girl ever. Even though I knew it was only a temporary thing, it was still bittersweet to say goodbye. I hope I do get to see her again. But if I don’t, I wish her the whole world. The things I have learned is that falling is love can be the greatest experience ever, if you manage your expectations. Sometimes, the pain is worth it ❤️
I had a similar experience, met a girl on holiday recently and although we hooked up, I immediately fell for her. Ultimately I realised she wasn’t the right girl for me but it’s hard in the moment when you meet someone abroad and fall for them…
The key is to repeatedly fell in love with the same person!
Yerself
The fall it is but the soul searching for enlightenment goes on many journeys till reaches unconditional state of love
This need to feel loved has led me to the most possessive love I have ever felt, it is the kind of love that leads to a place far from divinity. The disappointment I’ve experienced instills much doubt about the meaning of love. Now I allow no one to possess my heart and refuse to fall for love like the trick that’s been played. Love will have a new meaning every time you experience it with someone new. I believe there is a deeper love to experience but finding it in this lifetime may depend on how gradually I’m will to allow those feelings to develop. The human condition is full of ironies like how the very power of nature that has bought us here is an addiction that makes existence full of suffering. The only way to accept the pain that comes from broken bonds is rolling with the punches and allowing the pain to peel away the onion layers of the kind of lover you used to be... 🖤
Profound indeed
💌
Of all the lies i've heard "I Love You" was my favourite.
It's the most prolific
Oof
Now all you need is Bob Dylan and an acoustic guitar
Damn 😩
You may have just titled my autobiography
This only happened to my once. Too fast. Too intense. It was codependency. And I was obsessed of an idea. Unable to face truth. Escapism. It was 7 years that felt like a never ending nightmare with a narcissist. I am sober today and this will NEVER happen again for sure! 🙏
Talking about me!!! After having my heartbroken again, I realized that I am in love with being in love too!! I’m a very giving person but I give my heart far to easily and to the wrong toxic people! It’s time to work on my self love then find the right woman when my heart is ready to explore the possibility of love in a healthier way!! Thank you russel
I think you can fall in love with a false memory of someone. Sounds crazy huh ? Or maybe it's just that people change. Love yourself instead.
Or even just the version of Someone you want to see and later you build on that one memory
@@forfoxsake__ 100%
The phantom lover or ghostly lover.
👏👏👏👏👏
People are often as much in love with their pasts as they are with their exes in their past because of the familiarity.
I needed this realization today. It seems that things alway fall apart once I get attached. I’m really attached or “addicted” to the euphoria and you’re right, it isn’t sustainable. I didn’t realize the selfishness in it until now. Instead of chasing and fearing the pain of disconnection, I need to be selfless and let it go. Thank you Russell! ❤️
for me my problem seems to be i get triggered by inconsistencies or complete 180 turns out of the blue. I've always been fine if i understand the reasoning why something falls apart or someone pulls away. I guess i'm a closure addict. That is what i cling onto the most and i hate that about myself. For instance i could message someone and the reply i get is amazingly responsive and very flirty and even sometimes they are the ones to make a sexual reference first because i don't bring that stuff up unless it's much farther on the line. So then when i get nothing back but ghosting i lose my mind. No closure in what the hell happened. In my mind i judge based on me and what i would do and cause i would never ever say things like that to someone unless i was interested and wanted to ramp things up it makes it hard to understand how someone else could and then just vanish. I hate when people can't just be honest of what they are thinking. I feed off that 'vibe' like a vampire and i always can tell something isn't right but because i am a closure addict i need answers and that is usually what turns people off. I've noticed i'm not easily satisfied by the first answer if i even get one at all because it's usually dismissive or neutral if i get an answer at all. I've got to work on not giving a shit, it's a challenge for sure.
😂 Russell cracks me up! I love his honesty and bravery in the way he shares his innermost feelings. I bet a lot of people resonate with his thoughts and ideas. It’s lovely❤️
I've been in love twice in my life and I ruined it because I was scared of the commitment, one I let jealousy ruin it the other I was scared of the depth of the connection and didn't know what to do... love is about letting go of your ego, it's terrifying and I wish I had had the strength to tough it out through my fears... don't jump blindly into w/e you think is love but don't be afraid to tough it out, but also don't ignore flags...
I just fell in love fast after 10 years of nothing and not being interested in anyone. I'm 47 and have been through my share of relationships. This one seems to be the real thing, but I know the euphoria doesn't last. It turns into something deeper. I think there's something to be said for people fulfilling needs for each other when in love and being open from the beginning, open and vulnerable so that you grow in the love.
"The price of love is pain" 😴😳🤯
Pain is necessary. Suffering is optional
In a economic paradigm that incentives competition as a driver of progress, of course love was gonna be or become distorted.
Andre P Jesus that’s a good line. A tad oversimplified, as all lines must be, but short and sharp. Appreciated.
@@sophiejobin865 Not necessarily true, but more or less.🤷🏽♂️
That's not true
Most pain is often the consequence of our decisions.
Love vs lust lol - now I fall in love everyday by reaffirming the everyday actions that show love to my husband and put work into our marriage. 😊💚
That's the issue right there love vs lust. People struggle to conceptualise the difference often falling victim to lust.
But should you have to reaffirm something that is real? And people keep saying they have to "work" at their relationships all the time, but seriously, isn't that really because they don't want to leave a relationship for reasons other than losing love. Those couples I know whom really are in a good relationship it is not work for them, it is a natural synergy. It doesn't happen that often and maybe that is the reason why most people settle for less by "working hard" at their relationship rather than being alone or waiting for the right person.
@@avesatana20 good insight 👍
I believe that part of true love is actually working through difficulties with someone and growing as two individuals together. I believe if things are always easy and there is never any conflict then neither of you are pushing yourselves out of your comfort zone and sacrificing something for one another . I do believe in God and nothing in this life is coincidental , God tests us do we can learn about ourselves and change for the better. Hard work and resilience is a much more Godly and loving act than simple infatuation in my opinion .
As the clever fish said: "Don't follow the others!" He had a little paradise behind the water fall and only the smart ones could find it.
Love is blind so you have to guide it. Pain and betrayal can strengthen or destroy you but I don't think you should harden your heart too much if it can be helped.
"Am I willing to change, am I willing to sacrifice, am I willing to put this person's needs over mine" -- And this is how I know my ex didn't and doesn't love me. Sobering thought when I feel despair over what was lost.
I feel the same way about love. The pain of wanting love in ways that are not possible made me an artist.
Wow!
Ha! Yes, It’s the only way that pain comes out sometimes.
Listening along... then boom... he gets towards the end and links love to Divinity. Omg Russell, you got me right there.
I’ve recently gotten out of a pretty... intense relationship and this definitely aligns with a lot of the realizations I’ve had
Do you mind explaining how it was "Intense" and was that a good thing or a bad thing?
@@coinkidink9997 both. Goes wildly in both ways.
Russel is a guru. And having taken a lot of interest and even enjoying loathing his opinions at times, from his early beginnings. The one thing I appreciate and respect about his opinion is that it comes from experience “then” education and resolve and not from 2nd or 3rd hand perspective. Clever is the man who never fails, genius is the man who fails and learns
I grew up with an alcoholic as a parent, so I learned very young that love is something you see in movies. It was very hard for me to express myself and still is even after 30 years of marriage for me to express myself openly, because although my parents have been married for 50 years they are both nuts, locked in a passive-aggressive relationship of a narcissist and enabler. So love is very different to different people, and life makes it very hard.
😢🥺 love in the movies is much different than real life !
You sound so much like me. Expressing myself is so difficult. Some people think I am cold or stoic, depending how if they like me or not.
Yes Russell, you are fantastic! Your transparency (along with the tone of your voice), is always intriguing. You are appreciated.
Wish I had heard this when I was younger. Now I'm in my second marriage and we help each other grow and my husband allows me to heal and become better.
"Older and wiser" is a real thing when it comes to this foolishness. All the things I'd do differently knowing what I know now.
I wish someone older had counseled me instead of surrounding myself with people my age who were stumbling as much as i was.
Good point.
But I know, speaking for myself, I was not terribly receptive, nor inquiring in such matters.
I was definitely a person who fell in love too fast. I categorize myself as a love addict. I fell in love so often, and then married and had children with one of those "loves." He was so wrong for me, now I've gone the opposite direction and am living profoundly, divinely solo.
Youre a true poet, im addicted to your channel last months, im bipolar with epelepsi and ADD and u speak right into my heart i have done drugs asince 14 im 28 and kinda hardcore last 5 years and im finnally over it been sober for 2-3 months , mutch off what u talk aboutis so true . i fall in love in a sec but broke my last 3-4 relationship i stil wanted them but i wasnt ready to change but could not let them go in my head i thought i was in love but perhaps there was just attraction and i didnt want to be alone . sorry for bad english , love u Russel!
I know of a man who could help you restore back your relationship either your ex or soulmate
He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex partner three days ago without delay
Whtsaap him"**
I just decided to get sober for what feels like the millionth time yesterday. Stay strong! Even if it was love im a strong believer that those who are meant to be in your life might go but its like the planets sometimes they will come back around when the timing is right.
It’s incredible how love in its meaning can be so diverse on what one person thinks about it is not the same of how someone else feels about it and that’s the power of love.....🤘
Yes! What a powerful and multi-faceted word
I have watched the whole video, I love this guy. The video was released a minute ago.
The sky is blue. Russell is cool. We are stating facts.
I watched a video
“I have watched the whole video” he says, “The video was released a minute ago” he says... That moment you realize we’ve been deceived.
I believe, agree with and reciprocate your other statement ☺️
Much love my consciousness from another perspective. ✌️
Consciousness is timeless, so it's possible he watched the entire video within 1 minute of it being released.
@@MilitaryDog. haha! It was just a joke man! I meant nothing else .. have a nice day
This was extremely relevant for me on a personal level. Just what I needed. Thanks Russell
Hope it all works out for you
So good and so true. Real love is not a euphoric feeling but a willingness and desire to serve even to the point of pain and death.
This is the first video I’ve watched of yours, I fall in love way too fast and hold on too long. I’m not even sure why and no matter what I do I can’t stop it.