We lost our only child on August 27 this year. He was only 14 yrs old. I do not want to get out of bed most of the time, much less live anymore. Thank you for you channel. You seem like you are a wonderful loving person who really tries to help people. God bless you.
Ohh Steven ..i lost my nephew on aug 28 😢 this yr. Or might he had gone on aug 27 only.dr declared him dead next day.. he was intelligent and playful child and only 8 yrs old. Only son of my little brother. I daily feel bad for my brother...i do cry but i am aunt of the child..i can still manage my emotions.. After reading ur comments,i am just imagining what is happening with my Brother and his wife .. every morning their eyes i can see swollen and Red. Ur comment helped me to understand my brother more. He is smiling daily but i know he is crying inside.
I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏!!!! I lost my husband unexpectedly in July this year and feel insane from it. Have been going to see a therapist and to Griefshare group meetings. Eckhart Tolle and Wim Hof breathing helps me too. God bless you ❤ Take it minute by minute and know that you are not alone 🙏
So sorry for your loss. Lost my partner, mom, and job in a five-month span of time two years ago. Still trying to create a reality I want to be in. I send you and your wife love and healing energy. 💜As others have said, know that you are not alone and just take it minute by minute.
I lost my husband of 35 years…this kind of grief is totally unimaginable..until you are there. Even if you know it’s coming the heartache is off the charts.
I lost my husband of 24 years today, it was so sudden and unexpected. I feel sick, my heart is like a stone, cold and numb. He was my best friend in all the world. The pain is unbearable.
I too lost my one dear brother. I miss him so deeply. Life cannot be the same but I will come around at some point where I can let my brothers memories bring more joy than sorrow. He really loved people and life. I lost him in December 2020 and I am so grateful for what he brought to my life. You will always miss your brother but the smiles can eventually come before tears when you think of him❤️
My husband of 34 years was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2018 and passed on 2020. In this period I developed high bloodpressure, had to rely on medication for anxiety and depression and also was diagnosed with cancer. This was the most difficult period in my life ever and also a very period. Lost friends. Slowly learning to live without him. But it is still difficult. Many people do not understand grief
When I was about 14 years old my grandmother told me that, several months after her mother died (which happened several years earlier) one of her arms swelled up dramatically. She went to her doctor who asked about recent life events. Grandma told him her mother had died. He asked if grandma had cried yet. She said no. He told her to go home and have a good long cry. Once she did her swelling went away and never returned. I was flabbergasted! My very literal 14 year old self asked, "So that was your TEARS in your arm??" And she said something like, 'It seems so.' I kinda tucked that away in my head for a long time but I am so grateful she told me. I would not have been able to accept that our memories, thoughts, and emotions have a direct impact on our physical health without that background knowledge. Everything I was taught up until that point was that our bodies are completely separate (and should be viewed as shameful) from our 'spiritual' selves, which is the only important part. My parents would have been livid if they knew she'd opened my mind in that way. Thank goodness for grandmas who don't follow the rules!
When your world has been gutted, it's hard if not impossible to "get out and be around people." Physically, emotionally, gutted and reeling, many of us experiencing losses of loved ones can barely cope, let alone try to line up social plans with people who don't want us around anyway because we're a downer. And that's about what I'm going through. People don't realize how crucial it is to reach out to people who are grieving.
I understand your 'being a downer' point and then I wonder why I would want to get around such unsupportive people in the first place. I wish you peace and better people.
Same here. I lost my youngest son 10 weeks ago today I have pretty good support but they don’t reach out like I feel they should. I think because maybe they never went through grief like we have. maybe they don’t understand the depth of the pain we have. I lost my brother to suicide. I lost my dad to cancer. losing my child is the worst one of them all. we don’t prepare to bury our children. and so how do we figure out how to live the rest of our life without them, when all of our lives, all we ever did as a parent was love, nurture, and protect them. how do we do holidays with our living children and not fall apart? I reach out to everyone all the time. all of those people who said, if you need anything, let me know. so many people don’t reach out to those people because they think they should be reaching out to me. now that’s not how it works. I literally take them all up on it! I reach out. I say hey can we go get a coffee? I need some joy with my sadness. I also am on bereavement support groups on Facebook. they help because they understand. particularly I’m on groups with parents that lost a child because regular bereavement groups are not the same. I lost my brother, I lost my dad. It doesn’t compare to losing a child. It is so different. It is a piece of you that you never intended on losing. we don’t plan to bury our children. We plan to bury our parents. Reach out to them. I also write on Facebook. sometimes people comment, sometimes they don’t . the first week or two you have hundreds of people liking and commenting on your post, supporting you and comforting you and then after those first two weeks, it’s all gone. so sometimes I get on there and I put on there. I’m still grieving. the world is still spinning, but mine stopped and I still need support. I still need friends to be here for me. This is what I’m going through…and then everybody reaches out again. sometimes we just have to be the one to reach out. and the ones who care, will be there. so if you need help go to a Support group in person, do a zoom support group or a telehealth support group, Facebook support group, Instagram support group, whatever. help yourself. if people don’t come to you, you go to them. God bless Michael’s mom. F23💛🕊️
@@DianaMarie23051I'm so sorry that you're going through this. When you say that people don't reach out to you as you had hoped, how would you want them to reach out ? My 22yo childhood best friend suddenly died a few months ago and I wanna support his parents but I'm not sure how. How do you feel towards your son's friends? I'm worried that me being alive might make them feel worse...
The last thing I want to do is be around people. As an introvert, I find it exhausting to have to be in conversation with others at this time. They don't know what to say and often make things worse by what they blurt out. "You're a strong woman. You'll get through this." "He's in a better place." "This is part of life." "It'll get easier." My husband of 55 years and I were absolutely "one." Now I am half. I will never be the same. My greatest desire is to join him, but I won't commit suicide. I know he is with the Lord, but there is nothing left for me here on this planet. People don't want to hear such things, and it takes too much effort to be and say what they are comfortable with. I find solitude much more healing than being around people.
@@donnaabrams2570 donna, i also lost a daughter. It was one year ago april 6. She is the last thing i think about at night and the first thing in the morning. It should of been me but cancer doesnt care if your old or young. Part of my heart is missing as im sure you know. I keep telling myself one day at a time, but i dont think it will ever get better. As one mother to another i send love to you. Lee auslander
I lost mom a year ago and she was my only caretaker on this earth whom I can always rely on. I’m watching this at 1:00 am coz I can’t sleep. I can’t feel tastes or eat or do any pleasurable activities as you said. I have been praying n asking God to take me through this or take me too so I can be with mummy. God bless you for giving the solutions for this state I’m in.
I have lost over 70 pets over my lifetime so far. That's a LOT of grief! Sometimes I didn't get to cope at all with one, before I lost another. Most people don't think that losing a pet is that big of a deal. But I've had closer relationships with my pets than I've ever had with people. At this stage of my life it's hard to feel anything any more. The worst thing to hear from people for me is... Don't cry. What I'd love is for just one person to be there with me and allow my grief in their presence. Unfortunately people are so uncomfortable with it, we are forced to endure alone.
People don't understand a pet is like a child and it hurts as such when you lose them. I've lost my cat recently and still haven't been able to fully cope with it. I hope that you are able to accept your grief, work through it and come back whole on the other side.
@Abby. I’ve lost 4 dogs, and can’t imagine losing over 70. 😔 We lost one of our dogs, last June, but this loss was different. He drowned in our pool, and my husband tried to save him, but it was too late. I’ve been seeing a therapist, and she told me it was similar to ptsd. I cried every day for almost a month, then on and off for another month. Maybe you can relate having lost so many. 😔 It’s always hard to deal with the loss of a canine kid, but this was the worst. I believe, true animal lovers grieve the same as losing a human family member, or a friend.
@@debbiewalker273 I am so sorry to hear this! I do know that some losses can affect you more than others. When my previous dog died I lost it. I was also told I had PTSD. I couldn't get out of that pit and felt suicidal. Thankfully someone noticed and found me a sponsor for some therapy as I couldn't afford it myself, or I might not be here today. Over the years I have had gerbils, pet rats, sugar gliders, dogs, cats, horses, and ostriches. Each loss affected me deeply, and I was told that with so many over my life I had developed complex grief. I have cried oceans of tears. Even decades later I can sometimes become overcome by a memory of a certain pet. I wish I could say that it gets easier, but it doesn't. I try to remain focused on the current pets I have and how much they need me and the joys that they bring in the present. Sometimes it's difficult not to slip backwards and I've discovered that sometimes my "memory" makes the deceased "perfect" when in reality they weren't. I've also discovered that everyone grieves differently, and that I even grieved differently for different pets. Please don't let anyone tell you how to grieve or that you are doing it "wrong" or taking too long. Only you will know what you need to process it. Sending you supportive hugs!
Things I’ve done to help heal from grief: besides crying…a lot -hug a plush toy -talk to higher self/God -write/ journal feelings -imagine seeing them in my next life -love yourself❤ Hope this helps!
@@mitzidonahue8844 mitxi I too lost my husband to covid fdt he mishandled that crisis badly anyway my prayers for you honey this is hard try to find joy where you can it's what I do
I lost my teenaged daughter to suicide last year. The trauma and grief have had overwhelming physical manifestations that affect me to this day. Dulled senses, body aches, lack of appetite, insomnia...grief can feel like a disease at times. I hope anyone reading this who has also suffered a great loss finds some peace in this life.
2018 my mother died. I felt hollow and numb for about 3 years. My advice throughout the numbness is to literally exist. You don’t need a plan, make it through 1 day at a time. Exercise, sleep and socialising are all of the most difficult things to do. Nobody has the answer, just listen to your body, if you need rest, rest. If you need a walk, go. If you need to stay under the covers for a week, do it. Eventually the cloud lifts slowly. Eventually you will do 1 extra thing today that you couldn’t do yesterday. During grief the world slows down and I believe we need to listen and embrace the slow pace and to be kind to ourselves.
@Halie C47 as I read your comment I feel how my body is letting go of tension. Thank you. Yes, keep it simple. Listen to what my body says to me. This a note to myself. ❤to all
Thank you for your comment. I lost my mom 2021 it just seems like yesterday. Remembering all the love she showed me as a child. It’s almost surreal that she isn’t with me anymore. Loosing a parent is the greatest pain one can feel. I had the honor to keep her with me all my life and take care of her in her golden years with the help of my oldest son and husband
This reply, been looking for it for two months..no one can do or say anything, just a numbness and deadness that feels like it will never end, like an elephant sitting on your chest..what I just read lifted that elephant for a second, Thank you.
@@Susannaarivera7809 God bless you! I miss my parents so much! I think I have complicated grief. The winter months make it harder! Your not alone! Hope you feel better.👌💖
I lost my love of my life five days ago today. And grieving is hard enough but even more daunting is finances and realizing that losing this person you come home to every corner that reminds you of everything that happened. And you feel sick to yoir stomach i can survive on water and stuff. I just cry, i hold his clothes he passed at home with on. I smell them and i use his blanket too. God this is way different than family this has left a hole in my heart
Sorry for your loss. My husband died on August 29, 2024. I’m still not over it. We were married for 25 years. I wear his clothes, even though they’re too big for me. I can’t get over him. His death was a total shock and surprise. The police called me at work to tell me. I can’t even believe it still. Emotionally I can’t understand he is gone. He seemed fine, went to work that morning and never came home again. I have many days where all I do is cry, even when I’m at work.
Sorry to all you for your loss. I am not completely ever over it or minimizing anyone's grief but me and my partner weren't married. And his family threw me out and sold his car everything i invested in for 8 yrs we shared expenses. And was left with not much. It still hurts because he was a great guy but he also committed suicide. That was another part of this tragedy but we all have to pick ourselves up and live life. And that is courage. Wish you all the best
I am so sorry for your loss, my lovely husband passed last October and I can tell you that I am not in a good place right now, I miss him terribly and the pain is unbearable. Stay strong 💪 please ❤
In October of 2018, I lost my eldest daughter to diabetic complications. She was on dialysis during her last year of life. Got an infection that she couldn't overcome, resulting in the amputation of her arm. She died a week later. 4 months later, my home totally burned to the ground. My husband and two dogs did not make it out. I escaped by jumping out of the bedroom window, no shoes on my feet, no dentures in my mouth, just the clothes on my back. The house was a total loss which even took my car. Nothing was salvageable. All photos, momentos, everything gone. I've never been the same since. I exist and pray that God reunites me with those who I've lost, soon.
I lost my 28 year old son the day before thanksgiving. He was fatally injured at work. I am numb most days . Sone days my body is stiff and sore … some days it feels like I wearing a wer heavy coat. Last week I thought I was having a heart attack cause of the sharp pain in my chest. Sometimes I feel like crying but they are stuck in my body . I feel like there’s a gaping whole in my soul. I’ve lost 6 pounds in the last few weeks.I try to stay busy to keep my mind off the trade hu and I admit that Ive started drinking a bit more. Even though I’m tired it’s hard to fall asleep. I know it’s a process and I must allow myself to go through the stages. I will seek therapy and begin doing yoga again. I do not wish this pain on anyone but death is part of life. I know eventually I will learn to live with my new reality.
I discovered after the death of my sister that adult sibling loss is not given much if any support. That relationship is not validated and deemed as important as other relationships in grief. There are grief support groups for so many types of relationships except adult sibling loss. It will be three years in January, and I grieve for Nancy every day 💔
I lost my only sibling in 2002 and had the same experience. Everybody was worried about my parents but seemed to expect I wouldn't be affected. I crumbled. I send you lots of love and a warm hug and my experience that it becomes easier as time passes by. ❤️
My sister died at 38 and it was the same for me. I was 34 and devastated. Unfortunately it must of been for practice because 6 years later it was my mom then about 6 years later it was my brother and finally took care of my dad for 10 years and he died at hime as panned. Just two days of hospice help. I dont know how i came badk. Well actually i never have fully. Good thing i was a loner type and loved animals who replaced my family except two kids who are a good trip
Same For me Cathy My 5 year older Sister will have been gone for 3 years in January 2023🙏🏻 I Grieve for her ALOT! I Try not to but cant seem to stop..You are Not alone 💜
This is so true and it even applies to your family members. It doesn't mean they don't love you but it's depressing and traumatic to be around anyone in extreme grief.
@@carolynnorton9552 I suppose they do love themselves more than they do the person in grief and I'm sure all family members are not the same. There is an old saying that self love is the greatest love. Maybe it is.
My younger brother passed away just over a year ago I cant accept it I havent spoken to anyone since the funeral I eat only toast I either sleep for long periods or short I dont want to listen to music which has always been my passion I just ache inside and out nothing is of interest anymore.!! Thankyou for your video..!
I know it hurts but I always remember that one day I too will pass on and met my loved ones again we are not here as long as we think we are so look forward to the reunion
I lost my husband almost 5 months ago. When he was dying, I realized that he no longer had a future in that body. My spiritual beliefs are another story. I started to grieve then. I scream cried in the car. I felt that the breath.was being sucked out of my body. I started to believe that I had to manage my grief. There was sometimes too much. I have embraced it at times and distracted myself at other times. It isn't done with me but it is getting better. Writing this also helps. Grief is a part of life. I wish to understand.
I lost my husband almost 2 months ago and I completely understand these feelings rage one day and feeling semi-normal the next it's just crazy. I feel like I died too they just didn't bury me.
Grief Symptoms 1. How grief shows up in the brain 2:00 2. How grief affects the heart organ 2:42 (intense happiness can also enlarge the heart 3:40) 3. How do tears play into the grief? Are they healing 3:56 4. Decreased pleasure 4:47 5. Loss of appetite and difficulty eating 4:58 6. Difficulty sleeping and insomnia 5:17 7. Temporarily weaken the immune system 5:22 8. Headaches and other body aches are also common after a loss 5:38 What to do about these changes? 7:40 1. Exercise 2. Make sleep a priority 3. Good nutrition 4. Social connections 5. Pleasurable activities Hope this helps everyone
When my father died in 2015 (sudden death) my twin sister and I both developed a stutter. Even now if i get upset or stressed out the stutter returns. I miss my Dad EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY ..... I try and cope with my loss by being the strong woman he raised and helping others who are in pain .... my humour which was lost is slowly returning .... i am laughing again and i know that this is what my Dad would have wanted. Sending courage, peace and healing to everyone in pain with their grief. God bless you all. 😘🤗
I also lost my 24year old son in a road accident i also did not want to get out of bed i when i did i would drink a bottle of wine just to go back to sleep,, that was 6 years ago it will get better eventually , keep strong bless you jacinta
I lost my son in 2004 and to this day my stomach is a mess, literal physical pain still occurs all these years later. Going to the cemetery to visit your child's grave takes a toll for a lifetime ...my heart hurts for all losses of family, friends, pets, strangers 💔 😢 life is brutal. I've learned to stay in prayer and realize the reality of pain and suffering manifests in many ways 🙏
I’m sorry for your loss Layne. I lost my son last year and it feels like it’s NEVER going to be ok. Hearing you say you’re still feeling the symptoms after all this time makes me feel so sad but less alone I guess. Seems like such a long time to be in pain. Grief is a constant companion
This is my fourth Christmas without my beloved husband, who died from secondary cancer. Eighteen months later, I was diagnosed with cancer also. I continue to mourn the loss.
Sending prayers and best wishes your way. I pray that you beat the cancer. My dad just passed in February from lung cancer. Within 2 weeks of him being diagnosed he was gone. I just shake my head in disbelief everyday. My poor mum lost her husband after 53 years of marriage. He was only 71. I just thank god he didn’t suffer for long as what we seen over the 2 weeks was more than enough. 🙏🏻🙏🏻💖
My sister was killed violently and tragically in August 2023 last year . Despite doing all I can to heal my grief and cope . …..I am feeling worse than when she was killed . I feel like a different person now and am pretty messed up . Each day is a living hell, and I’m trying my best. . I can’t even imagine the pain for those of you who have lost a child . Thank -you to those of you sharing your stories. I’m so sorry for your losses and pain 😢
I lost my 39 yr old son 5 months ago. The emotional pain is unbearable for me. I cry every day because I miss him so much, and there is no support system for me. Since the day he died, 6/18/22, I wanted to go somewhere and just scream until my voice goes hoarse. Now his father is in the hospital because he recently had a stroke. I have been battling congestive heart failure for years so the stress and sadness of this loss is crippling me.
Denise, I can't tell you how sorry I am for all you have endured in this life. I don't know about you but my only hope and prayer is that I am able to join my son soon. That is my faith. I pray one day you are with you loved ones. God bless!
i’m so sorry for your loss. I know you must hear that a lot. I lost my grandma suddenly last month n have been experiencing insane anxiety and depersonalization. I hope it gets better for both of us but at this point I don’t know
I understand. My beloved dog and inseparable companion of 14 years had to be euthanized two weeks ago. This is very difficult to get through. Wishing you well.
I felt this was going to happen to me a couple weeks after my baby passed away. I wasn't sleeping at all or eating. I was crying every single day. I would shake all day and felt like my heart was going to give up on me whenever I got out of bed. I actually wanted god to take me because I couldn't bare the pain. I've lost several family members, had my heartbroken from relationships, nothing compares to this pain. I have no kids. She was my child. I'm terrified of moving on without her.
I lost my mom and grandparents (2 of the 3 unexpectedly) and was betrayed by the person I loved, all within 2015-2017. I am just now finding some help in researching grief and paying attention to my personality and my health - realizing I am dealing with severe grief - something I had written off as depression or anxiety for all these years. Thank you for your videos.
I lost my first born & only daughter 3 years & 10 months ago. She was 35. I have to force myself to move forward each day. It’s awful! Sending love to all. 🌸💗🌸
I’m no where near that but I had a miscarriage after carrying my first and only daughter. Four weeks later I got diagnosed with cancer. Grief sucks. I’m really praying for you honey.
All these things can also happen when someone experiences abuse. I have all the symptoms you mentioned and then some from a marriage with a Narcissist. I have CPTSD, Panic Disorder, Anxiety disorder and many mental and physical ailments that developed during my married years. I’m no longer married to him, but the trauma is still very much alive as are my health issues from it, including Hashimoto’s. Grief isn’t just when you lose someone to death, it can be caused by other reasons as well. I was grieved daily by the abuse I suffered as well as watching my children suffer.
I had to put my cat to sleep on thanksgiving 22, she was 12 years old, it's 2 weeks now, and I'm feeling every emotion, and watching this has brought back it all back.Im still waiting for her ashes. She passed away from cancer but it was quick. 😭🐈⬛👋💕🇦🇺
I lost my mother 12 years ago, i was numb for 10 years after that, in denial. It has been only two years since ive started to accept the fact that she is gone and i am trying to vent it out. To let go of trapped emotions and trauma that are so mature in age is very hard, it feels as if a body part is being separated from you. Ive found great relief in your videos, thank you for your free content. 💖
I lost my grandma four months ago. She was the most important person in my world since i was a little girl, losing her feels like a gigantic rock on top of me crushing my heart and lungs. This last month i got a really bad allergy, my face was all swollen, specially my eyes, i had inflamation everywhere and spent most of my time at the doctor's. Grieving is scary, but reading all your comments makes me feel better. Hope this message does the same to someone else ❤
I lost my 42 year old son April 28 2020 and I put on 40 lbs and living isn't very important to me anymore. I survive by the help from my faith in Jesus. I am counting on seeing my son again one day.
I remember a time when I was going through a difficult marriage and I went for a massage session for relief. Half way during the session whilst she was massaging my arms I just burst into uncontrollable crying. I was so embarrassed! The masseuse was lovely and she explained that it was trapped/suppressed negative emotion in my body that she was releasing for me. It makes perfect sense! I'm divorced now and much happier 🥰
So interesting…I’ve had three massages in my life and during all three I began to quietly weep and then sob. I could not stop but the masseuse (all different ones) continued to “work” on me. I noticed every time there was always a box of tissue near my body and I used them without hesitation. All my life, I’ve valued my ability to deal with stress, but now I well know that stress resides in every pore of my being and my smiles and kidding around does not fool myself.
There is Really something to that for sure! A very good massage therapist I’ve gone too said he’s had lots of people start uncontrollably crying, or even laughing, during their massage. Sometimes I contemplate what a beautifully different healthy world we’d live in if everyone got a massage regularly. I’m glad you are free from that difficult marriage 🙂
Just lost my Momma a few days ago. Thanksgiving is going to be bittersweet today. Thanks for sharing this video today. Have a blessed thanksgiving with your beautiful family❤
Thank you for this. I lost my adored wife last year and am still feeling sad and sick in a way that I couldn’t previously have imagined. But I mustn’t let adorable Moby down, so will eventually bash through it. Your advice is helpful.
I lost my beloved partner 11 months ago. I had the phone call that shatters your life. The pain is indescribable, I carry on because I have a beloved cat relying on me. I'm navigating the ocean of grief as best I can. Fortunately I'm Spiritual so I know he's around me, holding my hand, I keep a journal so we still talk. I'm no stranger to grief but this is on a different level, we doted on each other, he was my strength and stay. On top of PTSD, which he was helping me with 💔💔💔😞
I remember one of my friends suddenly lost her husband in a motor bike accident. She couldn't talk and was told when we grieve or in shock the muscles tighten in your throat. Three years ago I lost my mother - the same thing happened to me. The muscles tighten in my throat.
That's exactly what I'm going through right now! In fact it almost felt like I was being strangled earlier today. Thanks so much for mentioning this. ❤️💚💜
I lost my dad 2 1/2 years ago, i was not able to be with him during his final days, and i regretted it. Guilts, for not doing my part as his daughter, grief, for losing him, eat me from within. I developed mysterious illnesses, i feel myself slowly dying. And i welcomed it.
Grief is something you continually work through, you do not “get over it”. Queen Elizabeth bless her soul summed it up perfectly when she said “grief is the price you pay for love” I have lost 3 sisters & both parents . I lost my last dear sister from Cancer & 4 months later I lost my husband, my rock 💔 in 2023. Music & affirmations are helping me immensely. I want to reinstate that love I shared with my my two best friends, & knowing that will not happen is so painful. I would think that the only loss greater & more painful would be losing a child.
Lost my husband in 2017, retired and moved to an area where you don't have to be rich to own a house. It's been an overwhelming responsibility to own my own house, especially when I live alone. Then I lost my sister, who lived in the town I retired to, a few months ago. She was so supportive and loving just after I moved up here and through the isolation of the Covid pandemic. After a tooth extraction a few weeks ago, I've had debilitating panic attacks, which has made me weak, shaky and have no appetite. My therapist says that grief can do this. So can childhood PTSD, a lifetime of worrying and hardship, and sudden scares. A tip for all those who grieve, are depressed or anxious - Stay away from alcohol! Intoxicants of any kind can mask the unpleasant emotions and physical discomfort you must face and process. It can make things a lot worse! It is better to meditate or pray with love, gratitude and trust. It's important to take care of yourself as though you are ill. Because grief and anxiety can truly make you physically ill.
My beautiful Labrador, Lucy, was my best friend for 11 years. She was my shadow. When she got ill with cancer, I had to make the toughest decision to say goodbye, and it broke my heart. It broke my heart in a way that I have never been able to get over her death and the loss I feel. It has been 5 years since Lucy left and not a day goes by without my thinking about her. It physically hurts my heart.....I have lost my parents, two siblings and many close friends, but I cant seem to get over Losing Lucy. I cant even cry!
I am so sorry. I truly understand and feel your pain. I lost my beautiful kitty Posh two years ago this Christmas. She was 15 years old, then her son last month - Early Grey. Then two kitties went outside my house and never came back a month ago. They are my babies and I still pray for the two kitties (Mortimer and Squeek) every night. I weep for them! Typing this, I am crying. Your Lucy was your baby. You have memories of her no one else will have. I give you the BIGGEST hug and hold it. Your grief is so real and raw. She showed and gave you unconditional love that cannot be replaced. You don't ever have to let her go. And when (if) you do, it is okay. She will ALWAYS love you!
I’m the same. I’ve lost my whole family but when my dog died I couldn’t stand up for months and even four years on I’m so slow and breathless. I used to go to the gym five times a week. I just feel all my insides are ripped out. I walk round like a shell. 💔
I hear you and feel you. I lost my dog a month ago and The day I set her free I got drunk with my 2 best friends...I was in complete denial, couldn't handle the pain. It was only when I collected her ashes that I was able to really cry and now I can't stop xx
You've had many tough losses! Be good to yourself Saying goodbye to pets& family , friends is so hard. Grieving is long process! Never give up and God Bless!🙏🙏💖
Two years and four months ago I lost the love of my life of 34 years I completely shut down, I couldn't attend his funeral, I could not cry, I still haven't, I think of him every day many times, I am now resolved ( I think ) to being in this colourless world where I push myself to try and live some sort of existence for the sake of others, my children, my siblings, my mother, my pets, I can.t seem to live for me it seems that there is no value, I don't think I'm depressed, I don't think I'm anything anymore.
When I lost a son I felt as you. Then I thought this love! How can I put this love for him back in the center of my life? It came to me to live for him. I went to college for him. I became a therapist for him. I tried in every way to be the positive and human and loving person he was. Years later it all became me too. I celebrate life. I love my life as he loved his. I also lost a daughter and then a beloved husband. I’m alone now in my old age and yet, I’ve never had more company. They are all in my rich heart and they are proud of me and wait for me. Life is precious. Baby steps Frances, baby steps. You aren’t anyone? Ohhh you are every person you will ever love. We are eternally bound, all of us. I wish you joy, peace, love. Baby steps. It’s what every one who loves you wants for you.
@@Donna-cc1kt Wow Donna! Words cannot convey the meaning of your losses. Your awesome insight and wisdom are truly humbling and Godly in the utmost spiritual way. Thank you for sharing.
My father passed with ALZ in 2017. Mom (Vascular Dementia) and grandma (Cancer) are both 96 lbs and racing to the finish line. I am a full time caregiver for mom. I am about to lose my mind...Anticipatory grief is horrific. I fell asleep watching so will re-watch. :/
What a grief! I was thinking, this burden is also due to the love you have invested. You may feel consumed by this burden but it is such a noble, holy thing you do. To be emptied is to make room for something holy. To care about the dying is a transformation toward the best of being human. You make me think of the exhaustion a newborn endures as he struggles toward life. This is your finest hour. I’ve lost son, daughter and beloved husband . It was as you said, losing my mind. I am a different woman now. The world is sweeter and I have an army in heaven that will ensure I’ll see the face of God and He will wipe away every tear. God bless you. Hold strong. It is the best deed any woman can do for God and loved one. Trust! Trust! Trust in God. He sees.
I helped care for my mum who passed in 2019. For the 8 months before she died, I dont recall laughing or smiling. Almost everyday had issues. I had no happiness, only worry, grief and fatigue. When she passed, I cried for 6 months but it wasnt as bad as i expected perhaps because I had a clear conscience and maybe because a lot of the grief took place before, I'm not sure.
Relatable. Lost her two months ago. Can’t function. Love and hugs to fellow caregivers. It’s a lonely and difficult path. When I can get out of bed someday, I’d like to visit those still going through it so that they can have a shower. Or a ride, or have lunch with someone.
Bless you, taking care of loved ones is so difficult. I took care of my grandpa 6 months before he passed away from dementia in 2020, and it was a very tiring and emotional journey. My mom and I were holding his hands when he passed away and my mom hasn't been herself since. Try to maintain your mental and emotional health. ❤
When I experienced the reason for my grief right after it happened, I literally felt my heart crack, as if broken. It was a literal sound and feeling in the region of my heart! I was shocked when it happened. Also I had shut down right afterwards, couldn’t/wouldn’t cry or speak of it at first (and I had young children that I felt I couldn’t fall apart in front of them) and over time I developed a muscle hardness like a literal lump in my throat. I used to sing all the time before, but after the event, my voice box was so constricted, I couldn’t really sing anymore, my voice was weak and uneven. And yes, the numbness is real too. Things that used to give me joy had me feeling numb. Exercise, sleep and social interactions were a long time returning and still aren’t at the levels they were before. I’m still going through it. It’s been 6 years.
I understand. When my husband died of cancer, I had partially grieved for three years already, but was still unprepared for being unable to sing or even listen to music for a read afterwards.
Same thing. that feeling in the throat and the chest pain. I felt like somebody stabbed me in the chest and ripped my heart out. Still get the feeling in my throat almost 5 years later. I've accepted that I have to carry this pain forever. I think we all do. But we get stronger, even if it doesn't feel like it. It's the only way to carry it
Lost my father to a brain tumour 5 weeks ago. Lost my mother to cancer 4 days ago. My mother was my best friend. We did everything together. She wasnt diagnosed till a week before her death. The Dr's failed us. I miss them both deeply everyday
I had the worst grief attack yesterday at school. I started crying in art class but the teacher was playing music in the background so nobody could hear it and my bangs started growing really long so nobody could see my eyes. I went to the bathroom and sobbed for 15 minutes and eventuality my classmate came to see what was going on. I managed to calm down but I still feel the need to cry my eyes out. It's been 2 years since my grandpa died but I still think about him every day and have these attacks from week to week but this one was extremely strong. He was my entire childhood 🕊️
That's why I don't want to go anywhere coz I never know when I'll bust out crying....my day goes from sad to angry and I can't get out of it counseling and medication not helping.
5 days after my husband's anticipated death, I became quite sick, can't sleep, no appetite. Whereas the years I was taking care of him, all I did was sleep. We are working on good food and being social and pray this too will pass. It's now 3 a.m. and hope I can get a few hours sleep. I'm not alone and have lots of help. I'm 68.
Losing a spouse thru divorce is as intense grief as death. Ten years later I’m still suffering. Death causes heartbreak but when your life long partner abandons you, nothing helps the grief.
Yes very true. When someone dies and is physically taken from you in that way, it was (usually) without their intention to be away from you. But in divorce they chose to abandon you/your life together/your future. It is a different kind of grief and it still hurts very deeply. I’ve been there.
It's very hard because people aren't as understanding as they would be about bereavement through death. Also it's more complicated as you also have to deal with the sense of rejection on top of the loss.
@@Blonde111 Yes it's still loss of a loved one and there's also the agony of imagining your most loved possession enjoying life with someone else.The grief of this type of loss is soul destroying and extremely painful just as if they had passed away.God bless x
Last August I had lost my 17yr dog Rico. Whenever I discuss grief with others they always talked about the emotional part, but they never mention just how much pain physically you experience too. I'm so relieved to hear that losing your sense of taste is normal! I actually thought I had covid because everything just tasted bland. For a good 2 weeks after my body was constantly aching and sore and nothing seemed to help except time He was truly the first 'real' grief I had experienced and I truly thought my body was just gonna give up and die. Months later I still tear up thinking about him, but I know that I needed to allow my body that time to grieve and miss him ❤🕊
Oh yes, the grief about losing animals is very,very real. I still mourn my first little cat Eliza - even though many others have bounced and are still bouncing through my life…❤
Oh god, I didn't realise about the loss of taste. I lost my soul dog Amaya (aged 15.5) in September and a few weeks later also thought I had covid although I tested negative because I couldn't taste anything for over a week. I could have eaten soap and not known. I can't quite believe that I am able to still be alive when he is not. Sending hugs to you.
My doggo passed away as well and even though I had experienced grief before, I never experienced the physical side of grief. She was such a part of my daily routine and my joy. I would cry and not be able to breathe, I would get panic attacks which I had never had before when I thought of a life without her. I couldn't go to sleep and I couldn't wake up if I did. It was all so painful. I am so sorry for your loss, the grief is real.
After my mother passed in 2018, I remember going to the newspaper office to get a copy of her death notice to give to my employer. Even though it was the middle of June, everything looked gray and bleak to me, like the deep of winter.
3.29.19 my 3 school age children were killed. I don’t cry everyday. Maybe just 6 out of 7 days. I can only imagine what this does to a parent/mother, on a cellular level. 😢😢😢
Thank you for this video. I believe it explains why I feel the way I do. Twenty years ago, we lost our twin daughters unexpectedly. My entire person will never be the same.
I lost my husband of 16 years this past February. His cancer diagnosis didn't even give him 18 months of life. We had just bought our first home together. During his illness I had to have open heart surgery. (Today is the anniversary of the surgery) My heart is truly broken. It's just 9 months this week and with Christmas coming on -- which he loved more than anything -- I'm walking a thin wire. I force myself to get out of the house, force myself to talk to family. Force myself to work. I worked as a hospice nurse and also am a suicde survivor from a previous relationship. Dawning age 60, it's hard to project a new life, a new beginning. I have very intense panic attacks, especially in the morning, but they are lessening.
My Papa (grandfather) died a few weeks ago and I’ve been struggling with my chronic pain and incredibly pain from it, but recently I’ve been watching videos on helping learn and work through the hard times like now, so thank you for making this.
I came down with post viral chronic fatigue syndrome and battled severely for 6 years. One of the cornerstones of my recovery was tapping into all the trapped and suppressed emotions from a history of trauma. It was easily the craziest journey of my life.
Would you mind sharing some techniques to release trapped emotions? I've also been struggling with post viral CFS after a lot of trauma. It's an incredibly difficult journey 💔
@@kathygreen6043 I also have PSA, so I definitely understand how an auto immune can complicate the situation, feel free to email me if you need to chat :)
You can't fight off grief no matter how hard you try It is what it is I been fighting through it for the past year and no matter what I do it affects you in so many ways
In college my roommate had an illegal abortion that was a horrible experience and when she returned she started passing out cold. In the car, the hallway, at the table. I asked her if she had told her boyfriend every detail from beginning to end and she hadn’t. After she did the fainting stopped. Twenty years later a young physical therapy client of mine said she had been literally going blind for short bouts after a scary car accident she had by herself while her parents were out of the country. Once it happened at a job interview. I suggested she tell her story to a trusted friend and after she did she was fine. I’ve often wondered if this would work with soldiers and PTSD. But I think they would have to choose their safe person, and not leave ANYTHING out. That’s important.
I want to send love and prayers to everyone going through this, I understand completely. 2016 I lost my father which I suppressed those emotions. In 2022 I had a health scare which turned out to be nothing but the anxiety I was holding in my body from my father passing. In January I lost my brother and since then it's just been about survival and keeping myself going. The symptoms from grief are not dangerous but uncomfortable which you struggle with but in time as you heal they subside. Going to the park amongst nature early in the morning or late in the evening and crying helps me a lot. I haven't cried in so long it feels so good when I do because it feels like that built up energy being released. I know it seems hard every one but you will be alright. Remember this is life and we have our downs and ups. Just always never give up on yourselves and get that love peace and happiness back. Love you all.
My sister died when she was 27 and I was 20. I think I was repressing my grief and thought had was dealing with it quite well. About a year later, I lost feeling in my left leg. I went to a doctor who did some tests, then he started asking me about my life…if I had any deaths in my family relatively recently. I said yes my sister about a year ago. He ask how she died and what her first symptom was. I said she lost feeling in her left leg!! Up to that moment I never made the connection, and that leg never had problems again!
a year after my hubby died i suddenly couldn't breathe. i went to the hospital by ambulance (as i live alone) and spent five days there. then my sister came to take care of me for a while. i'm doing better now.
I lost my pet 3 months ago.. we had been best friends for 14 year's and I have been having problems with my heart and now I know why.. I also sleep all the time day and night! Thank you for the information you shared on your channel..
I lost my dog a month ago. I don't compare it to the loss of a child, of course. But I don't have kids and she was my baby, the focus of my life, my daily routine. I feel guilty for not realising she was sick until it was too late. I struggle to find the motivation to get up in the morning, to go out shopping, to socialise with friends. And I feel people think I'm over reacting because "It's only a dog" but for 12 years she was my life. I know it will get better but it's so painful 💔
@@linpollitt8950 Your dog was your baby and I love my pets similarly to my children. We are responsible for our pets in a similar way to children so it's natural and realistic to make that comparison. Our pets don't often let us know when there are health issues. Their health issues are often masked until there are significant changes in their behaviour and disease has progressed. Please don't feel guilty for not realising. Our fur babies are the masters of disguise sadly. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. She was your baby and you loved her and looked after her, focused your world around her. Please let go of any guilt you are feeling. You loved and looked after your girl and she was the centre of your life. The grief will get easier in time, please look after yourself and try to find the motivation to move forwards. Sending love to you xx
@@linpollitt8950 Like you Lin, I have never had children but when I lost my Lucy, I was like a mum grieving for her child. To lose a child is the worse thing ever, and I am deeply sorry for all the people that have lost their children.
I had broken heart syndrome twice. First time 6 years ago when my 19 year old daughter died in a car crash and the second time when my then 18-year old daughter was diagnosed with leukaemia.
I lost my domestic partner for 5 years with Cancer last Nov 2023. That leads to me having brain fog, intensifying my depression and anxiety as well as feeling like life doesn't matter anymore. This information is really helpful...
I hate it when someone says, "This, too, will pass. " or "We have to accept our fate. God only knows why he makes these things happen." Such apples and oranges comparison remarks to what's happening to the body, mind & emotion. Thanks for this video. It's opened my eyes to what has happened to me and the therapy I need.
I know what you mean. I didn't like how people ask me, are you feeling better. But I came to realize that what else can people say? Then when was on the other side and trying to comfort someone who lost a loved one I wanted to not say any of those those things. Maybe it's the meaning behind it that counts.
thank you for this compassionate video, I am grieving for the loss of my dad recently, and I found one of the most healing things I did was to feel the emotion of sadness and loss, and cry and sob so hard it hurt
I lost my special needs daughter nine months ago ,We were always together she had Rett Sydrome,Epilepsy and Scoliosis, she was non verbal ,I miss her gravely, I have just really started eating better and coming out of my back and forth see saw state,It's hard losing a love one ,nothing feels the same. 🙏 🙏...
I read most of your stories. I admire all of your strengths to share your grievances. I for one want to give you a big hug. I never grieved my parents deaths being far away in another country. Now that I survived a heart attack in 2016 and my wife recovery from breast cancer, the sense of grievances are hitting me hard and afraid to think about the future loss of my wife and family members. My story is not near to what some of you have gone through. Your story gives me hope and strength that I am not alone. It takes a village to keep us purposeful and continue with our lives. Thanks for sharing.
Lost my husband 2 years ago in a car accident we were both in. He was only 24. Love of my life. I’m prone to heart issues and have arrhythmia. Last night out of nowhere, my heart went to 135-140 beats per minute. I felt like I was going to die. We went to the ER and there I got a social worker to help me get started on more healing resources. This is the hardest it’s been since he died. I live in fear and sadness every day
I lost my mom six months ago. Thank you for sharing this video ❤ Learning about the many facets of grief has actually been a great source of comfort to me; the more I try to understand it, the less frightening it is.
My beloved younger brother died suddenly and unexpectedly almost three years ago. I thought that I wouldn’t be able to survive my grief. I decided to start walking everyday and somehow it seemed to help. I still cry when I think about him but the pain is easier to bear.
We were with our friends when we found out their son died by suicide. I have been feeling bad that I just froze and couldn’t move or say anything initially. A few minutes later I felt like I was going to faint. Thank you for explaining that it’s normal to to have no response at first ❤
I lost my mum 6 and a half years ago. I was 5 weeks pregnant. My mum never knew. I spent the rest of my pregnancy pushing down my grief in case it hurt my baby. That baby is now a healthy 6 year old but I have had so many chronic “illness “ for 5 of those years. I think I didn’t grieve properly. I’m thinking about and missing my mum so much at the moment.
I’m so sorry to hear that. I wonder if you’d be open to writing to your Mum or talking out loud to her. I know it’s not at all the same as having her there but it might be helpful X
Since my husband's stage 4 cancer diagnosis, I've been struggling with what I suppose is 2-fold. I am grieving his illness and all he is enduring. I'm also grieving about a life without him in it. I'm just on auto-pilot and my body responds to grief with a terrible rash. I went through this with both my parents and it's brutal. Facing loss is something that doesn't get easier with practice and I'm grieving that, too.
@@ga6589 Yes. I learned the concept of acceptance and applied to my situation. You will suffer in life when you do not accept any situation you do not want. You do not have to like what is happening, but accepting it with compassion will help you. Death and loss is a part of the cycle of life. Also, your husband and family members do not want you to be sad. All the best.
9 years ago I lost my youngest brother and I truly was never the same again. I cut myself off from everyone I knew and even my own family. After many years of running away I would call it. I realize now that I'm really afraid of love. The idea of loving others even though they will be gone eventually which will leave a hole in me scares me. Hence why I run away from it all and supress the pain and trauma. I can say I'm hurting at times but I'm starting to be more aware of it.
I was an avid reader all my life. Several books a week. Since my husband died in 2016 I have had trouble concentrating long enough to read a book. It’s like being impatient that things aren’t grabbing my attention. I’ve read maybe 10-12 books since his death. Every time I manage to become engaged with a book I’m hopeful that my vest for reading is returning. Then sadly disappointed when I grab another book and it doesn’t continue to engage me. I read my genres and have favorite authors that have always been fast reads for me…unfortunately even their writing doesn’t pull me in either.
The tears is something I have noticed and realized in my own life. When I am stressed, made to feel nervous and my anxiety is elevated my eyes will water constantly. This started when I was very, very young. May have even started at the time my dad died when I was 1 year and 10 months old. The hearing......I have and do experience this loss of hearing, the muted effect even during highly elevated anxiety. I have realized my anxiety began way back when I was very young.
I am going through a very difficult period of time facing grief and serious health issues -myself and in the family. These videos really help. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this information with us. Love from Greece
Two ways that helped me. First was that I was accepting the grieving as a way of life. I got out of that by getting all things material and starting naked. The second was my food intake. A long journey for me because I threw up silly obstacles but I am physically and psychologically balanced now living the Carnivore Lifestyle.
Thank you, Emma. Just recently tapped into suppressed, complex grief that was with me for over 10 years. I'm noticing stuff in my body, but I've also gained a sustained level of clarity about the direction of my life and several acute insights in short order. It's freeing, I can go on now. All the best.
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We lost our only child on August 27 this year. He was only 14 yrs old. I do not want to get out of bed most of the time, much less live anymore. Thank you for you channel. You seem like you are a wonderful loving person who really tries to help people. God bless you.
Ohh Steven ..i lost my nephew on aug 28 😢 this yr. Or might he had gone on aug 27 only.dr declared him dead next day.. he was intelligent and playful child and only 8 yrs old.
Only son of my little brother.
I daily feel bad for my brother...i do cry but i am aunt of the child..i can still manage my emotions.. After reading ur comments,i am just imagining what is happening with my Brother and his wife .. every morning their eyes i can see swollen and Red.
Ur comment helped me to understand my brother more. He is smiling daily but i know he is crying inside.
I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏!!!! I lost my husband unexpectedly in July this year and feel insane from it. Have been going to see a therapist and to Griefshare group meetings. Eckhart Tolle and Wim Hof breathing helps me too. God bless you ❤ Take it minute by minute and know that you are not alone 🙏
I am so very sorry 💔 I too lost my only 15 yr old Son. Life will never be the same. Just know you are not alone.
So sorry for your loss. Lost my partner, mom, and job in a five-month span of time two years ago. Still trying to create a reality I want to be in. I send you and your wife love and healing energy. 💜As others have said, know that you are not alone and just take it minute by minute.
💜💜💜💜💜
Grief isn't just for death... Huge life changes can leave you grieving for the future you lost.
can't agree more
Of course ur right
I feel like this may be happening to me x
True, and I'm so sorry!
Yes I know exactly what you are saying😢
I lost my husband of 25 years
My heart goes out to anyone going through grief
It is the worst!!!
💕💞
I lost my husband of 35 years…this kind of grief is totally unimaginable..until you are there. Even if you know it’s coming the heartache is off the charts.
I hope you guys are doing okay. I couldn’t imagine being with the love of my life and losing them. I’m so proud of you all for continuing on ❤
I lost my husband of 38yrs together I have a hard time eating sleeping without him
I lost my husband of 24 years today, it was so sudden and unexpected. I feel sick, my heart is like a stone, cold and numb. He was my best friend in all the world. The pain is unbearable.
I lost my brother 1/11/23 and it's not the same l miss him so much life is not the same without him love you kiki
I too lost my one dear brother. I miss him so deeply. Life cannot be the same but I will come around at some point where I can let my brothers memories bring more joy than sorrow. He really loved people and life. I lost him in December 2020 and I am so grateful for what he brought to my life. You will always miss your brother but the smiles can eventually come before tears when you think of him❤️
My husband of 34 years was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2018 and passed on 2020. In this period I developed high bloodpressure, had to rely on medication for anxiety and depression and also was diagnosed with cancer.
This was the most difficult period in my life ever and also a very period. Lost friends.
Slowly learning to live without him.
But it is still difficult.
Many people do not understand grief
I understand what no one else who hasn't gone through this could understand. I understand exactly how you feel.
I am so sorry for your loss.
@@MichaelDeMoss-m5v thank you so much.
When I was about 14 years old my grandmother told me that, several months after her mother died (which happened several years earlier) one of her arms swelled up dramatically. She went to her doctor who asked about recent life events. Grandma told him her mother had died. He asked if grandma had cried yet. She said no. He told her to go home and have a good long cry. Once she did her swelling went away and never returned. I was flabbergasted! My very literal 14 year old self asked, "So that was your TEARS in your arm??" And she said something like, 'It seems so.' I kinda tucked that away in my head for a long time but I am so grateful she told me. I would not have been able to accept that our memories, thoughts, and emotions have a direct impact on our physical health without that background knowledge. Everything I was taught up until that point was that our bodies are completely separate (and should be viewed as shameful) from our 'spiritual' selves, which is the only important part. My parents would have been livid if they knew she'd opened my mind in that way. Thank goodness for grandmas who don't follow the rules!
Thank you. I'm going to be crying a lot today missing mom (Thanksgiving)
thank you for sharing 🙏💞
Thank you for sharing this amazing story. Your gran's doctor sounds like the kind of doctor we all need at the moment
Love this! My grandma was the exact same way! She was my best friend & I'm so grateful for her! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing this ❤
When your world has been gutted, it's hard if not impossible to "get out and be around people." Physically, emotionally, gutted and reeling, many of us experiencing losses of loved ones can barely cope, let alone try to line up social plans with people who don't want us around anyway because we're a downer. And that's about what I'm going through. People don't realize how crucial it is to reach out to people who are grieving.
I understand your 'being a downer' point and then I wonder why I would want to get around such unsupportive people in the first place. I wish you peace and better people.
That is a good word to describe the pain, gutted! Hard to be happy, unless you have gone thru it you just dont get it!
Same here. I lost my youngest son 10 weeks ago today I have pretty good support but they don’t reach out like I feel they should. I think because maybe they never went through grief like we have. maybe they don’t understand the depth of the pain we have. I lost my brother to suicide. I lost my dad to cancer. losing my child is the worst one of them all. we don’t prepare to bury our children. and so how do we figure out how to live the rest of our life without them, when all of our lives, all we ever did as a parent was love, nurture, and protect them. how do we do holidays with our living children and not fall apart? I reach out to everyone all the time. all of those people who said, if you need anything, let me know. so many people don’t reach out to those people because they think they should be reaching out to me. now that’s not how it works. I literally take them all up on it! I reach out. I say hey can we go get a coffee? I need some joy with my sadness. I also am on bereavement support groups on Facebook. they help because they understand. particularly I’m on groups with parents that lost a child because regular bereavement groups are not the same. I lost my brother, I lost my dad. It doesn’t compare to losing a child. It is so different. It is a piece of you that you never intended on losing. we don’t plan to bury our children. We plan to bury our parents. Reach out to them. I also write on Facebook. sometimes people comment, sometimes they don’t . the first week or two you have hundreds of people liking and commenting on your post, supporting you and comforting you and then after those first two weeks, it’s all gone. so sometimes I get on there and I put on there. I’m still grieving. the world is still spinning, but mine stopped and I still need support. I still need friends to be here for me. This is what I’m going through…and then everybody reaches out again. sometimes we just have to be the one to reach out. and the ones who care, will be there. so if you need help go to a Support group in person, do a zoom support group or a telehealth support group, Facebook support group, Instagram support group, whatever. help yourself. if people don’t come to you, you go to them. God bless Michael’s mom. F23💛🕊️
@@DianaMarie23051I'm so sorry that you're going through this. When you say that people don't reach out to you as you had hoped, how would you want them to reach out ? My 22yo childhood best friend suddenly died a few months ago and I wanna support his parents but I'm not sure how. How do you feel towards your son's friends? I'm worried that me being alive might make them feel worse...
The last thing I want to do is be around people. As an introvert, I find it exhausting to have to be in conversation with others at this time. They don't know what to say and often make things worse by what they blurt out.
"You're a strong woman. You'll get through this."
"He's in a better place."
"This is part of life."
"It'll get easier."
My husband of 55 years and I were absolutely "one." Now I am half. I will never be the same. My greatest desire is to join him, but I won't commit suicide. I know he is with the Lord, but there is nothing left for me here on this planet. People don't want to hear such things, and it takes too much effort to be and say what they are comfortable with. I find solitude much more healing than being around people.
For all of you that has lost a child, i feel your pain. We are a tribe united by grief, no one gets it but us 😢
The absolute worst club to be a member of
I lost my daughter in 2005 and it’s a pain that never ends.
@@donnaabrams2570 donna, i also lost a daughter. It was one year ago april 6. She is the last thing i think about at night and the first thing in the morning. It should of been me but cancer doesnt care if your old or young. Part of my heart is missing as im sure you know. I keep telling myself one day at a time, but i dont think it will ever get better. As one mother to another i send love to you. Lee auslander
Yes, it's the most difficult. I lost my only son 3 months ago to fentynal poisoning. I'm sorry for all of your losses.
@@jeanninestanfill4352 i am so sorry🙏🏼 One day at a time.
I lost mom a year ago and she was my only caretaker on this earth whom I can always rely on. I’m watching this at 1:00 am coz I can’t sleep. I can’t feel tastes or eat or do any pleasurable activities as you said. I have been praying n asking God to take me through this or take me too so I can be with mummy. God bless you for giving the solutions for this state I’m in.
💕💞
🥺
all the love to you ❤
I have lost over 70 pets over my lifetime so far. That's a LOT of grief! Sometimes I didn't get to cope at all with one, before I lost another. Most people don't think that losing a pet is that big of a deal. But I've had closer relationships with my pets than I've ever had with people. At this stage of my life it's hard to feel anything any more. The worst thing to hear from people for me is... Don't cry. What I'd love is for just one person to be there with me and allow my grief in their presence. Unfortunately people are so uncomfortable with it, we are forced to endure alone.
People don't understand a pet is like a child and it hurts as such when you lose them. I've lost my cat recently and still haven't been able to fully cope with it.
I hope that you are able to accept your grief, work through it and come back whole on the other side.
@@abbasshah1963 Thank you. I'm so sorry about your cat. 🙁
@Abby. I’ve lost 4 dogs, and can’t imagine losing over 70. 😔 We lost one of our dogs, last June, but this loss was different. He drowned in our pool, and my husband tried to save him, but it was too late. I’ve been seeing a therapist, and she told me it was similar to ptsd. I cried every day for almost a month, then on and off for another month. Maybe you can relate having lost so many. 😔 It’s always hard to deal with the loss of a canine kid, but this was the worst. I believe, true animal lovers grieve the same as losing a human family member, or a friend.
@@debbiewalker273 I am so sorry to hear this! I do know that some losses can affect you more than others. When my previous dog died I lost it. I was also told I had PTSD. I couldn't get out of that pit and felt suicidal. Thankfully someone noticed and found me a sponsor for some therapy as I couldn't afford it myself, or I might not be here today. Over the years I have had gerbils, pet rats, sugar gliders, dogs, cats, horses, and ostriches. Each loss affected me deeply, and I was told that with so many over my life I had developed complex grief. I have cried oceans of tears. Even decades later I can sometimes become overcome by a memory of a certain pet. I wish I could say that it gets easier, but it doesn't. I try to remain focused on the current pets I have and how much they need me and the joys that they bring in the present. Sometimes it's difficult not to slip backwards and I've discovered that sometimes my "memory" makes the deceased "perfect" when in reality they weren't. I've also discovered that everyone grieves differently, and that I even grieved differently for different pets. Please don't let anyone tell you how to grieve or that you are doing it "wrong" or taking too long. Only you will know what you need to process it. Sending you supportive hugs!
@@abbykoop5363 Thank you Abby, and glad you were able to get help. 💜
Things I’ve done to help heal from grief: besides crying…a lot
-hug a plush toy
-talk to higher self/God
-write/ journal feelings
-imagine seeing them in my next life
-love yourself❤
Hope this helps!
Very helpful.
Thank you!
I lost my husband during covid and was left with a lot feelings of guilt, sadness, regrets, etc.😢
My mother died. I have had a little success with religion.
One thing that I do is to wear a hoodie that my very close personal friend used to wear. that way I can still say that he is able to give me hugs.
@@songwolf108 I have done all those things they help but cannot replace our loved one I appreciate your caring heart ♥️
@@mitzidonahue8844 mitxi I too lost my husband to covid fdt he mishandled that crisis badly anyway my prayers for you honey this is hard try to find joy where you can it's what I do
I lost my teenaged daughter to suicide last year. The trauma and grief have had overwhelming physical manifestations that affect me to this day. Dulled senses, body aches, lack of appetite, insomnia...grief can feel like a disease at times.
I hope anyone reading this who has also suffered a great loss finds some peace in this life.
8:21
I'm so sorry for your great loss. 😢
2018 my mother died. I felt hollow and numb for about 3 years. My advice throughout the numbness is to literally exist. You don’t need a plan, make it through 1 day at a time. Exercise, sleep and socialising are all of the most difficult things to do. Nobody has the answer, just listen to your body, if you need rest, rest. If you need a walk, go. If you need to stay under the covers for a week, do it. Eventually the cloud lifts slowly. Eventually you will do 1 extra thing today that you couldn’t do yesterday. During grief the world slows down and I believe we need to listen and embrace the slow pace and to be kind to ourselves.
@Halie C47 as I read your comment I feel how my body is letting go of tension. Thank you. Yes, keep it simple. Listen to what my body says to me. This a note to myself. ❤to all
Thank you for your comment. I lost my mom 2021 it just seems like yesterday. Remembering all the love she showed me as a child. It’s almost surreal that she isn’t with me anymore. Loosing a parent is the greatest pain one can feel. I had the honor to keep her with me all my life and take care of her in her golden years with the help of my oldest son and husband
This reply, been looking for it for two months..no one can do or say anything, just a numbness and deadness that feels like it will never end, like an elephant sitting on your chest..what I just read lifted that elephant for a second, Thank you.
@@Susannaarivera7809 God bless you! I miss my parents so much! I think I have complicated grief. The winter months make it harder! Your not alone! Hope you feel better.👌💖
@@tomscerbo1588 thank you.
I lost my love of my life five days ago today. And grieving is hard enough but even more daunting is finances and realizing that losing this person you come home to every corner that reminds you of everything that happened. And you feel sick to yoir stomach i can survive on water and stuff. I just cry, i hold his clothes he passed at home with on. I smell them and i use his blanket too. God this is way different than family this has left a hole in my heart
Sorry for your loss. My husband died on August 29, 2024. I’m still not over it. We were married for 25 years. I wear his clothes, even though they’re too big for me. I can’t get over him. His death was a total shock and surprise. The police called me at work to tell me. I can’t even believe it still. Emotionally I can’t understand he is gone. He seemed fine, went to work that morning and never came home again. I have many days where all I do is cry, even when I’m at work.
Sorry to all you for your loss. I am not completely ever over it or minimizing anyone's grief but me and my partner weren't married. And his family threw me out and sold his car everything i invested in for 8 yrs we shared expenses. And was left with not much. It still hurts because he was a great guy but he also committed suicide. That was another part of this tragedy but we all have to pick ourselves up and live life. And that is courage. Wish you all the best
❤
I am so sorry for your loss, my lovely husband passed last October and I can tell you that I am not in a good place right now, I miss him terribly and the pain is unbearable.
Stay strong 💪 please ❤
In October of 2018, I lost my eldest daughter to diabetic complications. She was on dialysis during her last year of life. Got an infection that she couldn't overcome, resulting in the amputation of her arm. She died a week later.
4 months later, my home totally burned to the ground. My husband and two dogs did not make it out. I escaped by jumping out of the bedroom window, no shoes on my feet, no dentures in my mouth, just the clothes on my back. The house was a total loss which even took my car. Nothing was salvageable. All photos, momentos, everything gone.
I've never been the same since. I exist and pray that God reunites me with those who I've lost, soon.
love and Light to you 💔
May God send holy Angels to confort you... your story is ... I dont have words, I'd like to take you in my arms ...💖💖💖💖
May all saints and angels watch over You❣
I could not live through that. We are in end days. You will see all of them in perfect recognizable bodies again soon if they were believers.
Losing more then one loved one will change a person
I lost my 28 year old son the day before thanksgiving. He was fatally injured at work. I am numb most days . Sone days my body is stiff and sore … some days it feels like I wearing a wer heavy coat. Last week I thought I was having a heart attack cause of the sharp pain in my chest. Sometimes I feel like crying but they are stuck in my body . I feel like there’s a gaping whole in my soul. I’ve lost 6 pounds in the last few weeks.I try to stay busy to keep my mind off the trade hu and I admit that Ive started drinking a bit more. Even though I’m tired it’s hard to fall asleep. I know it’s a process and I must allow myself to go through the stages. I will seek therapy and begin doing yoga again. I do not wish this pain on anyone but death is part of life. I know eventually I will learn to live with my new reality.
❤🙏 may it get easier as you go.
God bless.
I feel your pain. I lost my 34 year old son the day after thanksgiving. I know exactly what u are going through 😢😢😢
I discovered after the death of my sister that adult sibling loss is not given much if any support. That relationship is not validated and deemed as important as other relationships in grief. There are grief support groups for so many types of relationships except adult sibling loss. It will be three years in January, and I grieve for Nancy every day 💔
I lost my only sibling in 2002 and had the same experience. Everybody was worried about my parents but seemed to expect I wouldn't be affected. I crumbled.
I send you lots of love and a warm hug and my experience that it becomes easier as time passes by. ❤️
My sister died at 38 and it was the same for me. I was 34 and devastated. Unfortunately it must of been for practice because 6 years later it was my mom then about 6 years later it was my brother and finally took care of my dad for 10 years and he died at hime as panned. Just two days of hospice help. I dont know how i came badk. Well actually i never have fully. Good thing i was a loner type and loved animals who replaced my family except two kids who are a good trip
Same For me Cathy My 5 year older Sister will have been gone for 3 years in January 2023🙏🏻
I Grieve for her ALOT! I Try not to but cant seem to stop..You are Not alone 💜
Someone said comparison is odious. My brother lost his dog and he grieves every bit as much as me.
Thank you for your comment. I to lost my only brother this past July. I’m trying to come to terms with this death. Grief is grief. I miss him so.
Social contact is the hardest part of getting over grief because other people don't want to be around someone in grief. They avoid you.
True❤😢
I haven't had much help. Either
This is so true and it even applies to your family members. It doesn't mean they don't love you but it's depressing and traumatic to be around anyone in extreme grief.
@@saritamullins8294 I imagine, then, that the family members love themselves much more than the person who needs someone's help.
@@carolynnorton9552 I suppose they do love themselves more than they do the person in grief and I'm sure all family members are not the same. There is an old saying that self love is the greatest love. Maybe it is.
My back went out after losing my spouse. The back pain was real, intense, and lasted for two years.
Such a correlation between grief and depression.
My younger brother passed away just over a year ago I cant accept it I havent spoken to anyone since the funeral I eat only toast I either sleep for long periods or short I dont want to listen to music which has always been my passion I just ache inside and out nothing is of interest anymore.!! Thankyou for your video..!
❤
I know it hurts but I always remember that one day I too will pass on and met my loved ones again we are not here as long as we think we are so look forward to the reunion
I relate to you since i lost my partner in august i cannot listen to any music at all grief is just horrible 😢
I lost my husband almost 5 months ago. When he was dying, I realized that he no longer had a future in that body. My spiritual beliefs are another story. I started to grieve then. I scream cried in the car. I felt that the breath.was being sucked out of my body. I started to believe that I had to manage my grief. There was sometimes too much. I have embraced it at times and distracted myself at other times. It isn't done with me but it is getting better. Writing this also helps. Grief is a part of life. I wish to understand.
Sorry for you
I feel exactly the same
I totally understand
I wish you all the best!!!
I lost my husband almost 2 months ago and I completely understand these feelings rage one day and feeling semi-normal the next it's just crazy. I feel like I died too they just didn't bury me.
I cried so much when my lovely mom passed away, I thought I had ruptured my heart, many many times.😢😢😢😢😢🙏🏻
I think having time to grieve before the physical loss just gives us extra time to grieve. We still have to work through the whole process.
Lost my husband 3 years back due to braincancer. Was married for 34 years. Still struggle to accept it.
Grief Symptoms
1. How grief shows up in the brain 2:00
2. How grief affects the heart organ 2:42
(intense happiness can also enlarge the heart 3:40)
3. How do tears play into the grief? Are they healing 3:56
4. Decreased pleasure 4:47
5. Loss of appetite and difficulty eating 4:58
6. Difficulty sleeping and insomnia 5:17
7. Temporarily weaken the immune system 5:22
8. Headaches and other body aches are also common after a loss 5:38
What to do about these changes? 7:40
1. Exercise
2. Make sleep a priority
3. Good nutrition
4. Social connections
5. Pleasurable activities
Hope this helps everyone
Thanks! It’s so nice of you to do this. Happy Holidays!!🎄🎄🎄
Thanks, Super Grover! Love your name!
Thanks for that info!👌💖💖
🙏🏽
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After my sister's death my heart swelled. Now I know why. Grief is overwhelming me.
I’m 62 but I still wish you were my mother-
Thank you for teaching me everything I need to know to be happy and well adjusted!
Better late than never!
When my father died in 2015 (sudden death) my twin sister and I both developed a stutter. Even now if i get upset or stressed out the stutter returns. I miss my Dad EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY ..... I try and cope with my loss by being the strong woman he raised and helping others who are in pain .... my humour which was lost is slowly returning .... i am laughing again and i know that this is what my Dad would have wanted. Sending courage, peace and healing to everyone in pain with their grief. God bless you all. 😘🤗
I also lost my 24year old son in a road accident i also did not want to get out of bed i when i did i would drink a bottle of wine just to go back to sleep,, that was 6 years ago it will get better eventually , keep strong bless you jacinta
I lost my son in 2004 and to this day my stomach is a mess, literal physical pain still occurs all these years later. Going to the cemetery to visit your child's grave takes a toll for a lifetime ...my heart hurts for all losses of family, friends, pets, strangers 💔 😢 life is brutal. I've learned to stay in prayer and realize the reality of pain and suffering manifests in many ways 🙏
I’m sorry for your loss Layne. I lost my son last year and it feels like it’s NEVER going to be ok. Hearing you say you’re still feeling the symptoms after all this time makes me feel so sad but less alone I guess. Seems like such a long time to be in pain. Grief is a constant companion
Im soooooo sorry!. I really do feel your pain. I wish I could bring back your loved one. I only hope an pray we can be with them soon!🙏
@STEVEN life is brutal but yes the constant HOPE of seeing them again is a joy to think of ❣️
This is my fourth Christmas without my beloved husband, who died from secondary cancer. Eighteen months later, I was diagnosed with cancer also. I continue to mourn the loss.
Sending prayers and best wishes your way. I pray that you beat the cancer. My dad just passed in February from lung cancer. Within 2 weeks of him being diagnosed he was gone. I just shake my head in disbelief everyday. My poor mum lost her husband after 53 years of marriage. He was only 71. I just thank god he didn’t suffer for long as what we seen over the 2 weeks was more than enough. 🙏🏻🙏🏻💖
Take care. Avoid stress, take vitamin C and kill the cancer cells through fasting
My sister was killed violently and tragically in August 2023 last year . Despite doing all I can to heal my grief and cope . …..I am feeling worse than when she was killed . I feel like a different person now and am pretty messed up . Each day is a living hell, and I’m trying my best. . I can’t even imagine the pain for those of you who have lost a child . Thank -you to those of you sharing your stories. I’m so sorry for your losses and pain 😢
I lost my 39 yr old son 5 months ago. The emotional pain is unbearable for me. I cry every day because I miss him so much, and there is no support system for me. Since the day he died, 6/18/22, I wanted to go somewhere and just scream until my voice goes hoarse. Now his father is in the hospital because he recently had a stroke. I have been battling congestive heart failure for years so the stress and sadness of this loss is crippling me.
Trust God
Denise, I can't tell you how sorry I am for all you have endured in this life. I don't know about you but my only hope and prayer is that I am able to join my son soon. That is my faith. I pray one day you are with you loved ones. God bless!
❤😢
I lost my three year old grandson this past summer. The holiday season is just brutal. There are days I just cry. My family is shattered.
so deeply sorry for your loss, Pamela
Lots and lots and lot of BIG HUGS!!!!
i’m so sorry for your loss. I know you must hear that a lot. I lost my grandma suddenly last month n have been experiencing insane anxiety and depersonalization. I hope it gets better for both of us but at this point I don’t know
I was diagnosed with broken heart syndrome when my dog died. He was my angel and saved my life.
I understand. My beloved dog and inseparable companion of 14 years had to be euthanized two weeks ago. This is very difficult to get through. Wishing you well.
I’m in it too. May we all heal.😢
What was your symptoms? Blood clots, blocked arteries, high blood pressure? Blockage build up in the aorta?
I felt this was going to happen to me a couple weeks after my baby passed away. I wasn't sleeping at all or eating. I was crying every single day. I would shake all day and felt like my heart was going to give up on me whenever I got out of bed. I actually wanted god to take me because I couldn't bare the pain. I've lost several family members, had my heartbroken from relationships, nothing compares to this pain. I have no kids. She was my child. I'm terrified of moving on without her.
I hope you are doing better.
I'm watching this at 5am having lost my 2 sons sleep is impossible even though I am so tired.❤
God bless you and your sons, Polly. I'm so sorry. May they rest in peace.🙏🕊❤
If it is any encouragement, we can reunite with them through dreams. Go see them,. Sleep.
Lost my mom & brother in 15 months. Holidays are brutal. Can't fill void. What they're saying is so true. One day at a time. ❤️
I lost my mom and grandparents (2 of the 3 unexpectedly) and was betrayed by the person I loved, all within 2015-2017. I am just now finding some help in researching grief and paying attention to my personality and my health - realizing I am dealing with severe grief - something I had written off as depression or anxiety for all these years. Thank you for your videos.
I lost my first born & only daughter 3 years & 10 months ago. She was 35. I have to force myself to move forward each day. It’s awful! Sending love to all. 🌸💗🌸
Deepest condolences.
@@jenine3124 Thank you so much!
I’m no where near that but I had a miscarriage after carrying my first and only daughter. Four weeks later I got diagnosed with cancer. Grief sucks. I’m really praying for you honey.
@@krisjackson6567 I’m so sorry about your sweet daughter. That’s so hard! 💔 I’ll be keeping you in my prayers also. 🌸💗🌸
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All these things can also happen when someone experiences abuse. I have all the symptoms you mentioned and then some from a marriage with a Narcissist. I have CPTSD, Panic Disorder, Anxiety disorder and many mental and physical ailments that developed during my married years. I’m no longer married to him, but the trauma is still very much alive as are my health issues from it, including Hashimoto’s. Grief isn’t just when you lose someone to death, it can be caused by other reasons as well. I was grieved daily by the abuse I suffered as well as watching my children suffer.
I agree with you alot of these symptoms occur when you are anxious and depressed 😔
Your story is my story I will pray for you; send blessing for healing though jesus christ our living God; 😊
@@lisaperkins7807 thank you sister. May Jesus bless you and keep you as well.
You're not alone with this type of grief.
I had to put my cat to sleep on thanksgiving 22, she was 12 years old, it's 2 weeks now, and I'm feeling every emotion, and watching this has brought back it all back.Im still waiting for her ashes. She passed away from cancer but it was quick. 😭🐈⬛👋💕🇦🇺
Sorry cokie5. They are family and you are grieving... I lost Tammy to cancer a year ago and I really miss her .
My 15 year kitty died in August ‘23. My heart is in pieces.
I lost my mother 12 years ago, i was numb for 10 years after that, in denial.
It has been only two years since ive started to accept the fact that she is gone and i am trying to vent it out.
To let go of trapped emotions and trauma that are so mature in age is very hard, it feels as if a body part is being separated from you.
Ive found great relief in your videos, thank you for your free content. 💖
Lollipops ex
I lost my grandma four months ago. She was the most important person in my world since i was a little girl, losing her feels like a gigantic rock on top of me crushing my heart and lungs. This last month i got a really bad allergy, my face was all swollen, specially my eyes, i had inflamation everywhere and spent most of my time at the doctor's. Grieving is scary, but reading all your comments makes me feel better. Hope this message does the same to someone else ❤
I lost my 42 year old son April 28 2020 and I put on 40 lbs and living isn't very important to me anymore. I survive by the help from my faith in Jesus. I am counting on seeing my son again one day.
💗
I am believing with you.🤗
I still think I'm going to see my mother again too after I leave here.
I wish for you to be reunited with him when Jesus decides that it is the right time. Maybe until then we need to be preparing. May God Bless you.
I don’t have anyone to be around and that is the hardest part. The isolation is paralyzing.
I hear you sister... same same 😞 much love from Aotearoa NZ ❤
Me neither it’s very lonely Carol
Same 😞
My mom passed on December 4th of this year. Thank you for your channel
I remember a time when I was going through a difficult marriage and I went for a massage session for relief. Half way during the session whilst she was massaging my arms I just burst into uncontrollable crying. I was so embarrassed! The masseuse was lovely and she explained that it was trapped/suppressed negative emotion in my body that she was releasing for me. It makes perfect sense! I'm divorced now and much happier 🥰
So interesting…I’ve had three massages in my life and during all three I began to quietly weep and then sob. I could not stop but the masseuse (all different ones) continued to “work” on me. I noticed every time there was always a box of tissue near my body and I used them without hesitation. All my life, I’ve valued my ability to deal with stress, but now I well know that stress resides in every pore of my being and my smiles and kidding around does not fool myself.
Wow!!!
There is Really something to that for sure! A very good massage therapist I’ve gone too said he’s had lots of people start uncontrollably crying, or even laughing, during their massage. Sometimes I contemplate what a beautifully different healthy world we’d live in if everyone got a massage regularly. I’m glad you are free from that difficult marriage 🙂
@@oliviacasino8888awesome comment 💕 well said wisdom
Just lost my Momma a few days ago. Thanksgiving is going to be bittersweet today. Thanks for sharing this video today. Have a blessed thanksgiving with your beautiful family❤
❤
Love and hugs. 💛
Sorry for you loss,God help
❤❤❤
🕊
Thank you for this. I lost my adored wife last year and am still feeling sad and sick in a way that I couldn’t previously have imagined. But I mustn’t let adorable Moby down, so will eventually bash through it. Your advice is helpful.
I lost my beloved partner 11 months ago. I had the phone call that shatters your life. The pain is indescribable, I carry on because I have a beloved cat relying on me. I'm navigating the ocean of grief as best I can. Fortunately I'm Spiritual so I know he's around me, holding my hand, I keep a journal so we still talk. I'm no stranger to grief but this is on a different level, we doted on each other, he was my strength and stay. On top of PTSD, which he was helping me with 💔💔💔😞
I remember one of my friends suddenly lost her husband in a motor bike accident. She couldn't talk and was told when we grieve or in shock the muscles tighten in your throat. Three years ago I lost my mother - the same thing happened to me. The muscles tighten in my throat.
Same for me😢😮
That's exactly what I'm going through right now! In fact it almost felt like I was being strangled earlier today.
Thanks so much for mentioning this. ❤️💚💜
I lost my dad 2 1/2 years ago, i was not able to be with him during his final days, and i regretted it. Guilts, for not doing my part as his daughter, grief, for losing him, eat me from within. I developed mysterious illnesses, i feel myself slowly dying. And i welcomed it.
Grief is something you continually work through, you do not “get over it”. Queen Elizabeth bless her soul summed it up perfectly when she said “grief is the price you pay for love”
I have lost 3 sisters & both parents .
I lost my last dear sister from Cancer & 4 months later I lost my husband, my rock 💔 in 2023.
Music & affirmations are helping me immensely.
I want to reinstate that love I shared with my my two best friends, & knowing that will not happen is so painful.
I would think that the only loss greater & more painful would be losing a child.
When my mom died in 2020 of brain cancer it affected me so much. I have severe anxiety from it, it has affected my talking, walking and writing
Lost my husband in 2017, retired and moved to an area where you don't have to be rich to own a house. It's been an overwhelming responsibility to own my own house, especially when I live alone. Then I lost my sister, who lived in the town I retired to, a few months ago. She was so supportive and loving just after I moved up here and through the isolation of the Covid pandemic. After a tooth extraction a few weeks ago, I've had debilitating panic attacks, which has made me weak, shaky and have no appetite. My therapist says that grief can do this. So can childhood PTSD, a lifetime of worrying and hardship, and sudden scares. A tip for all those who grieve, are depressed or anxious - Stay away from alcohol! Intoxicants of any kind can mask the unpleasant emotions and physical discomfort you must face and process. It can make things a lot worse! It is better to meditate or pray with love, gratitude and trust. It's important to take care of yourself as though you are ill. Because grief and anxiety can truly make you physically ill.
My darling sister passed in June, 2014 and my Mom passed six months later. I’ve never been the same! My heart is somewhat enlarged.
My beautiful Labrador, Lucy, was my best friend for 11 years. She was my shadow. When she got ill with cancer, I had to make the toughest decision to say goodbye, and it broke my heart. It broke my heart in a way that I have never been able to get over her death and the loss I feel. It has been 5 years since Lucy left and not a day goes by without my thinking about her. It physically hurts my heart.....I have lost my parents, two siblings and many close friends, but I cant seem to get over Losing Lucy. I cant even cry!
I am so sorry. I truly understand and feel your pain. I lost my beautiful kitty Posh two years ago this Christmas. She was 15 years old, then her son last month - Early Grey. Then two kitties went outside my house and never came back a month ago. They are my babies and I still pray for the two kitties (Mortimer and Squeek) every night. I weep for them! Typing this, I am crying. Your Lucy was your baby. You have memories of her no one else will have. I give you the BIGGEST hug and hold it. Your grief is so real and raw. She showed and gave you unconditional love that cannot be replaced. You don't ever have to let her go. And when (if) you do, it is okay. She will ALWAYS love you!
I’m the same. I’ve lost my whole family but when my dog died I couldn’t stand up for months and even four years on I’m so slow and breathless. I used to go to the gym five times a week. I just feel all my insides are ripped out. I walk round like a shell. 💔
@@California265 i feel your pain, i am so sorry
I hear you and feel you. I lost my dog a month ago and The day I set her free I got drunk with my 2 best friends...I was in complete denial, couldn't handle the pain. It was only when I collected her ashes that I was able to really cry and now I can't stop xx
You've had many tough losses! Be good to yourself Saying goodbye to pets& family , friends is so hard. Grieving is long process! Never give up and God Bless!🙏🙏💖
Two years and four months ago I lost the love of my life of 34 years I completely shut down, I couldn't attend his funeral, I could not cry, I still haven't, I think of him every day many times, I am now resolved ( I think ) to being in this colourless world where I push myself to try and live some sort of existence for the sake of others, my children, my siblings, my mother, my pets, I can.t seem to live for me it seems that there is no value, I don't think I'm depressed, I don't think I'm anything anymore.
When I lost a son I felt as you. Then I thought this love! How can I put this love for him back in the center of my life? It came to me to live for him. I went to college for him. I became a therapist for him. I tried in every way to be the positive and human and loving person he was. Years later it all became me too. I celebrate life. I love my life as he loved his. I also lost a daughter and then a beloved husband. I’m alone now in my old age and yet, I’ve never had more company. They are all in my rich heart and they are proud of me and wait for me. Life is precious. Baby steps Frances, baby steps.
You aren’t anyone? Ohhh you are every person you will ever love. We are eternally bound, all of us. I wish you joy, peace, love. Baby steps. It’s what every one who loves you wants for you.
@@Donna-cc1kt Wow Donna! Words cannot convey the meaning of your losses. Your awesome insight and wisdom are truly humbling and Godly in the utmost spiritual way. Thank you for sharing.
My deepest sympathy......
I get it, almost zombie like
My father passed with ALZ in 2017. Mom (Vascular Dementia) and grandma (Cancer) are both 96 lbs and racing to the finish line. I am a full time caregiver for mom. I am about to lose my mind...Anticipatory grief is horrific. I fell asleep watching so will re-watch. :/
What a grief! I was thinking, this burden is also due to the love you have invested. You may feel consumed by this burden but it is such a noble, holy thing you do. To be emptied is to make room for something holy. To care about the dying is a transformation toward the best of being human. You make me think of the exhaustion a newborn endures as he struggles toward life. This is your finest hour. I’ve lost son, daughter and beloved husband . It was as you said, losing my mind. I am a different woman now. The world is sweeter and I have an army in heaven that will ensure I’ll see the face of God and He will wipe away every tear. God bless you. Hold strong. It is the best deed any woman can do for God and loved one. Trust! Trust! Trust in God. He sees.
I helped care for my mum who passed in 2019. For the 8 months before she died, I dont recall laughing or smiling. Almost everyday had issues. I had no happiness, only worry, grief and fatigue. When she passed, I cried for 6 months but it wasnt as bad as i expected perhaps because I had a clear conscience and maybe because a lot of the grief took place before, I'm not sure.
Relatable. Lost her two months ago. Can’t function. Love and hugs to fellow caregivers. It’s a lonely and difficult path. When I can get out of bed someday, I’d like to visit those still going through it so that they can have a shower. Or a ride, or have lunch with someone.
Bless you, taking care of loved ones is so difficult. I took care of my grandpa 6 months before he passed away from dementia in 2020, and it was a very tiring and emotional journey. My mom and I were holding his hands when he passed away and my mom hasn't been herself since. Try to maintain your mental and emotional health. ❤
Sending love to you Christie.
When I experienced the reason for my grief right after it happened, I literally felt my heart crack, as if broken. It was a literal sound and feeling in the region of my heart! I was shocked when it happened. Also I had shut down right afterwards, couldn’t/wouldn’t cry or speak of it at first (and I had young children that I felt I couldn’t fall apart in front of them) and over time I developed a muscle hardness like a literal lump in my throat. I used to sing all the time before, but after the event, my voice box was so constricted, I couldn’t really sing anymore, my voice was weak and uneven. And yes, the numbness is real too. Things that used to give me joy had me feeling numb. Exercise, sleep and social interactions were a long time returning and still aren’t at the levels they were before. I’m still going through it. It’s been 6 years.
I understand. When my husband died of cancer, I had partially grieved for three years already, but was still unprepared for being unable to sing or even listen to music for a read afterwards.
Same thing. that feeling in the throat and the chest pain. I felt like somebody stabbed me in the chest and ripped my heart out. Still get the feeling in my throat almost 5 years later. I've accepted that I have to carry this pain forever. I think we all do. But we get stronger, even if it doesn't feel like it. It's the only way to carry it
four years for me and i understand.
@@sabinekoch3448 ❤️
@@misslayer999 ❤️
Lost my father to a brain tumour 5 weeks ago. Lost my mother to cancer 4 days ago. My mother was my best friend. We did everything together. She wasnt diagnosed till a week before her death. The Dr's failed us. I miss them both deeply everyday
🙏☀️🌊🕊️💔🕊️🌊☀️🙏🕊️❤️🔥💜❤️🔥🕊️🙏
I’m so sorry 😞
@@carolinel3668 thank you
I had the worst grief attack yesterday at school. I started crying in art class but the teacher was playing music in the background so nobody could hear it and my bangs started growing really long so nobody could see my eyes. I went to the bathroom and sobbed for 15 minutes and eventuality my classmate came to see what was going on. I managed to calm down but I still feel the need to cry my eyes out. It's been 2 years since my grandpa died but I still think about him every day and have these attacks from week to week but this one was extremely strong. He was my entire childhood 🕊️
That's why I don't want to go anywhere coz I never know when I'll bust out crying....my day goes from sad to angry and I can't get out of it counseling and medication not helping.
5 days after my husband's anticipated death, I became quite sick, can't sleep, no appetite. Whereas the years I was taking care of him, all I did was sleep. We are working on good food and being social and pray this too will pass. It's now 3 a.m. and hope I can get a few hours sleep. I'm not alone and have lots of help. I'm 68.
Losing a spouse thru divorce is as intense grief as death. Ten years later I’m still suffering. Death causes heartbreak but when your life long partner abandons you, nothing helps the grief.
Yes agree
Twenty five tears here, it’s reassuring to see someone else who understands the pain and grief of divorce. Prayers for you.
Yes very true. When someone dies and is physically taken from you in that way, it was (usually) without their intention to be away from you. But in divorce they chose to abandon you/your life together/your future. It is a different kind of grief and it still hurts very deeply. I’ve been there.
It's very hard because people aren't as understanding as they would be about bereavement through death. Also it's more complicated as you also have to deal with the sense of rejection on top of the loss.
@@Blonde111 Yes it's still loss of a loved one and there's also the agony of imagining your most loved possession enjoying life with someone else.The grief of this type of loss is soul destroying and extremely painful just as if they had passed away.God bless x
Emma you will never know how much you are helping people understand the human condition. Thank you for all you do 🙏🏻.
Your videos are a blessing to mankind.
Last August I had lost my 17yr dog Rico. Whenever I discuss grief with others they always talked about the emotional part, but they never mention just how much pain physically you experience too.
I'm so relieved to hear that losing your sense of taste is normal! I actually thought I had covid because everything just tasted bland. For a good 2 weeks after my body was constantly aching and sore and nothing seemed to help except time
He was truly the first 'real' grief I had experienced and I truly thought my body was just gonna give up and die. Months later I still tear up thinking about him, but I know that I needed to allow my body that time to grieve and miss him ❤🕊
Sending love. I don’t know how I’ll survive when my dog dies. She is all I have. 😪💔
Oh yes, the grief about losing animals is very,very real. I still mourn my first little cat Eliza - even though many others have bounced and are still bouncing through my life…❤
Oh god, I didn't realise about the loss of taste. I lost my soul dog Amaya (aged 15.5) in September and a few weeks later also thought I had covid although I tested negative because I couldn't taste anything for over a week. I could have eaten soap and not known. I can't quite believe that I am able to still be alive when he is not. Sending hugs to you.
My doggo passed away as well and even though I had experienced grief before, I never experienced the physical side of grief. She was such a part of my daily routine and my joy. I would cry and not be able to breathe, I would get panic attacks which I had never had before when I thought of a life without her. I couldn't go to sleep and I couldn't wake up if I did. It was all so painful. I am so sorry for your loss, the grief is real.
@@QurVgn I agree,,my 11 yr old sheepdog is my best friend and only family....not "just a dog"
After my mother passed in 2018, I remember going to the newspaper office to get a copy of her death notice to give to my employer. Even though it was the middle of June, everything looked gray and bleak to me, like the deep of winter.
I saw and felt everything in a dull yellow tinge. I’ve never told anyone because I thought I was crazy. I’m glad I saw your post.
The physical symptoms are real. Thank you for this!
3.29.19 my 3 school age children were killed. I don’t cry everyday. Maybe just 6 out of 7 days. I can only imagine what this does to a parent/mother, on a cellular level. 😢😢😢
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. May your three precious angels rest in peace.🙏🕊❤
My heart hurts for you. Please stay well darling. Sending you thoughts of love and support.
So sorry for your unimaginable loss.x❤
Thank you for this video. I believe it explains why I feel the way I do. Twenty years ago, we lost our twin daughters unexpectedly. My entire person will never be the same.
I lost my husband of 16 years this past February. His cancer diagnosis didn't even give him 18 months of life. We had just bought our first home together. During his illness I had to have open heart surgery. (Today is the anniversary of the surgery) My heart is truly broken. It's just 9 months this week and with Christmas coming on -- which he loved more than anything -- I'm walking a thin wire. I force myself to get out of the house, force myself to talk to family. Force myself to work. I worked as a hospice nurse and also am a suicde survivor from a previous relationship. Dawning age 60, it's hard to project a new life, a new beginning. I have very intense panic attacks, especially in the morning, but they are lessening.
Very sorry to hear. Psalm 34:18
Bless you, Tom. I imagine he is with you somehow in spirit.
I'm so so sorry Tom. 😭
@chrisjohnson-uq9zs Hi, Thanks -- I live in eastern PA.
@chrisjohnson-uq9zs yes, Pennsylvania and where are you?
My Papa (grandfather) died a few weeks ago and I’ve been struggling with my chronic pain and incredibly pain from it, but recently I’ve been watching videos on helping learn and work through the hard times like now, so thank you for making this.
I came down with post viral chronic fatigue syndrome and battled severely for 6 years. One of the cornerstones of my recovery was tapping into all the trapped and suppressed emotions from a history of trauma. It was easily the craziest journey of my life.
Wow! How long did it take? I’m going through this now!
I am battling CFS and autoimmune disorder post viral as well. Thanks for the comment.
Please help, I am also struggling
Would you mind sharing some techniques to release trapped emotions? I've also been struggling with post viral CFS after a lot of trauma. It's an incredibly difficult journey 💔
@@kathygreen6043 I also have PSA, so I definitely understand how an auto immune can complicate the situation, feel free to email me if you need to chat :)
You can't fight off grief no matter how hard you try It is what it is I been fighting through it for the past year and no matter what I do it affects you in so many ways
In college my roommate had an illegal abortion that was a horrible experience and when she returned she started passing out cold. In the car, the hallway, at the table. I asked her if she had told her boyfriend every detail from beginning to end and she hadn’t. After she did the fainting stopped.
Twenty years later a young physical therapy client of mine said she had been literally going blind for short bouts after a scary car accident she had by herself while her parents were out of the country. Once it happened at a job interview. I suggested she tell her story to a trusted friend and after she did she was fine.
I’ve often wondered if this would work with soldiers and PTSD. But I think they would have to choose their safe person, and not leave ANYTHING out. That’s important.
I want to send love and prayers to everyone going through this, I understand completely. 2016 I lost my father which I suppressed those emotions. In 2022 I had a health scare which turned out to be nothing but the anxiety I was holding in my body from my father passing. In January I lost my brother and since then it's just been about survival and keeping myself going. The symptoms from grief are not dangerous but uncomfortable which you struggle with but in time as you heal they subside. Going to the park amongst nature early in the morning or late in the evening and crying helps me a lot. I haven't cried in so long it feels so good when I do because it feels like that built up energy being released. I know it seems hard every one but you will be alright. Remember this is life and we have our downs and ups. Just always never give up on yourselves and get that love peace and happiness back. Love you all.
After heartbreak I aged 10 years in a year. It manifested itself all over 💔
My sister died when she was 27 and I was 20. I think I was repressing my grief and thought had was dealing with it quite well. About a year later, I lost feeling in my left leg. I went to a doctor who did some tests, then he started asking me about my life…if I had any deaths in my family relatively recently. I said yes my sister about a year ago. He ask how she died and what her first symptom was. I said she lost feeling in her left leg!! Up to that moment I never made the connection, and that leg never had problems again!
a year after my hubby died i suddenly couldn't breathe. i went to the hospital by ambulance (as i live alone) and spent five days there. then my sister came to take care of me for a while. i'm doing better now.
I lost my pet 3 months ago.. we had been best friends for 14 year's and I have been having problems with my heart and now I know why.. I also sleep all the time day and night! Thank you for the information you shared on your channel..
I lost my dog a month ago. I don't compare it to the loss of a child, of course. But I don't have kids and she was my baby, the focus of my life, my daily routine. I feel guilty for not realising she was sick until it was too late. I struggle to find the motivation to get up in the morning, to go out shopping, to socialise with friends. And I feel people think I'm over reacting because "It's only a dog" but for 12 years she was my life. I know it will get better but it's so painful 💔
@@linpollitt8950 Your dog was your baby and I love my pets similarly to my children. We are responsible for our pets in a similar way to children so it's natural and realistic to make that comparison. Our pets don't often let us know when there are health issues. Their health issues are often masked until there are significant changes in their behaviour and disease has progressed. Please don't feel guilty for not realising. Our fur babies are the masters of disguise sadly. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. She was your baby and you loved her and looked after her, focused your world around her. Please let go of any guilt you are feeling. You loved and looked after your girl and she was the centre of your life. The grief will get easier in time, please look after yourself and try to find the motivation to move forwards. Sending love to you xx
@@pamelalaird755 Thank you Pamela for your caring words. I'm getting there slowly x
@@linpollitt8950 Like you Lin, I have never had children but when I lost my Lucy, I was like a mum grieving for her child. To lose a child is the worse thing ever, and I am deeply sorry for all the people that have lost their children.
I had broken heart syndrome twice. First time 6 years ago when my 19 year old daughter died in a car crash and the second time when my then 18-year old daughter was diagnosed with leukaemia.
I'm so very sorry Christel for your pain and am sending you kind, gentle thoughts.
I lost my domestic partner for 5 years with Cancer last Nov 2023. That leads to me having brain fog, intensifying my depression and anxiety as well as feeling like life doesn't matter anymore. This information is really helpful...
I hate it when someone says, "This, too, will pass. " or "We have to accept our fate. God only knows why he makes these things happen." Such apples and oranges comparison remarks to what's happening to the body, mind & emotion. Thanks for this video. It's opened my eyes to what has happened to me and the therapy I need.
I know what you mean. I didn't like how people ask me, are you feeling better. But I came to realize that what else can people say? Then when was on the other side and trying to comfort someone who lost a loved one I wanted to not say any of those those things. Maybe it's the meaning behind it that counts.
We have no choice it never ends time does not help all my best wishes to you all that are going through grief
thank you for this compassionate video, I am grieving for the loss of my dad recently, and I found one of the most healing things I did was to feel the emotion of sadness and loss, and cry and sob so hard it hurt
I lost my special needs daughter nine months ago ,We were always together she had Rett Sydrome,Epilepsy and Scoliosis, she was non verbal ,I miss her gravely, I have just really started eating better and coming out of my back and forth see saw state,It's hard losing a love one ,nothing feels the same. 🙏 🙏...
I'm so sorry. May your daughter rest in peace. Sending you a big hug.🙏🕊❤
@Sun Shine Thank you so much..
I read most of your stories. I admire all of your strengths to share your grievances. I for one want to give you a big hug. I never grieved my parents deaths being far away in another country. Now that I survived a heart attack in 2016 and my wife recovery from breast cancer, the sense of grievances are hitting me hard and afraid to think about the future loss of my wife and family members. My story is not near to what some of you have gone through. Your story gives me hope and strength that I am not alone. It takes a village to keep us purposeful and continue with our lives. Thanks for sharing.
Everybodies grief is as bad For him as can be. There is No Evaluation or classification of grieve. Be blessed
Lost my husband 2 years ago in a car accident we were both in. He was only 24. Love of my life. I’m prone to heart issues and have arrhythmia. Last night out of nowhere, my heart went to 135-140 beats per minute. I felt like I was going to die. We went to the ER and there I got a social worker to help me get started on more healing resources. This is the hardest it’s been since he died. I live in fear and sadness every day
I lost my mom six months ago. Thank you for sharing this video ❤ Learning about the many facets of grief has actually been a great source of comfort to me; the more I try to understand it, the less frightening it is.
My beloved younger brother died suddenly and unexpectedly almost three years ago. I thought that I wouldn’t be able to survive my grief. I decided to start walking everyday and somehow it seemed to help. I still cry when I think about him but the pain is easier to bear.
We were with our friends when we found out their son died by suicide. I have been feeling bad that I just froze and couldn’t move or say anything initially. A few minutes later I felt like I was going to faint. Thank you for explaining that it’s normal to to have no response at first ❤
I lost my mum 6 and a half years ago. I was 5 weeks pregnant. My mum never knew. I spent the rest of my pregnancy pushing down my grief in case it hurt my baby. That baby is now a healthy 6 year old but I have had so many chronic “illness “ for 5 of those years. I think I didn’t grieve properly. I’m thinking about and missing my mum so much at the moment.
I’m so sorry to hear that. I wonder if you’d be open to writing to your Mum or talking out loud to her. I know it’s not at all the same as having her there but it might be helpful X
I've been there too. I can't deal with it. No matter what. I cry all the time. Listen to songs. Nothing really works very well.
The fact that we go into fight or flight mode following a loss explains why grief causes panic attacks in me. Thanks for this enlightening video.
Since my husband's stage 4 cancer diagnosis, I've been struggling with what I suppose is 2-fold. I am grieving his illness and all he is enduring. I'm also grieving about a life without him in it. I'm just on auto-pilot and my body responds to grief with a terrible rash. I went through this with both my parents and it's brutal. Facing loss is something that doesn't get easier with practice and I'm grieving that, too.
Accept the circumstances and you will suffer less. Hugs.
@@tnt01 Do you speak from similar experience?
@@ga6589 Yes. I learned the concept of acceptance and applied to my situation. You will suffer in life when you do not accept any situation you do not want. You do not have to like what is happening, but accepting it with compassion will help you. Death and loss is a part of the cycle of life. Also, your husband and family members do not want you to be sad. All the best.
@@tnt01 it looks to me like you might need a hug too. Big hugs!
It is well. But it’s possible for him to be healed
9 years ago I lost my youngest brother and I truly was never the same again. I cut myself off from everyone I knew and even my own family. After many years of running away I would call it. I realize now that I'm really afraid of love. The idea of loving others even though they will be gone eventually which will leave a hole in me scares me. Hence why I run away from it all and supress the pain and trauma. I can say I'm hurting at times but I'm starting to be more aware of it.
I was an avid reader all my life. Several books a week. Since my husband died in 2016 I have had trouble concentrating long enough to read a book. It’s like being impatient that things aren’t grabbing my attention. I’ve read maybe 10-12 books since his death. Every time I manage to become engaged with a book I’m hopeful that my vest for reading is returning. Then sadly disappointed when I grab another book and it doesn’t continue to engage me. I read my genres and have favorite authors that have always been fast reads for me…unfortunately even their writing doesn’t pull me in either.
The tears is something I have noticed and realized in my own life. When I am stressed, made to feel nervous and my anxiety is elevated my eyes will water constantly. This started when I was very, very young. May have even started at the time my dad died when I was 1 year and 10 months old.
The hearing......I have and do experience this loss of hearing, the muted effect even during highly elevated anxiety.
I have realized my anxiety began way back when I was very young.
I am going through a very difficult period of time facing grief and serious health issues -myself and in the family. These videos really help. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this information with us. Love from Greece
Two ways that helped me. First was that I was accepting the grieving as a way of life. I got out of that by getting all things material and starting naked. The second was my food intake. A long journey for me because I threw up silly obstacles but I am physically and psychologically balanced now living the Carnivore Lifestyle.
Bless Your heart .. It will get better
After my husband passed (unexpectedly) I suffered from insomnia for many many months. It’s so much better now … I’m 2.5 years out from the loss.
Thank you, Emma. Just recently tapped into suppressed, complex grief that was with me for over 10 years. I'm noticing stuff in my body, but I've also gained a sustained level of clarity about the direction of my life and several acute insights in short order. It's freeing, I can go on now.
All the best.
The mind body connection is so fascinating.