This KEEPS 90% Of People Single! (BIGGEST DATING MISTAKES) | Matthew Hussey & Jay Shetty
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- Опубликовано: 30 июн 2024
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I genuinely think relationships is not for everyone. Some of us live this lifetime just trying really hard to learn how to love ourselves because it's not easy or simple,some of us die not achieving the discovery of love. It's just that.
I have been on a self love journey the past few days and it feels so good. I recently blocked a guy who gaslit me all the time pointing out my flaws without acknowledging the issues he had. One thing abt self love is to love yourself enough to let go of that which doesn’t serve you
R.C. Blakes says people will launch negative & derogatory words at you when your confidence is on 10 because they don't like the way you're wearing hour crown. Don't compromise your crown. Don't 2nd guess your worth because of negative energy or words from people who are unqualified. Good for you practicing self care!
My husband and I fell in love on our first date. We both just knew. We were married 36 very happy years until he died in 2016.
Oh sad. You know what's sadder? Never having that. There are lots of people who are in genuine pain because they can't find true love. The not-by-choice singles. Year after year all alone. You hit the lottery, lady. I would've killed to have 15 years of what you had.
@rainydayz7 Actually , people cannot miss what they never had or knew. They miss the ideal of it.
But people deeply miss and grieve what was lost.
To the OP, I am glad you had wonderful years with your husband.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde
~Much Love from a Law of Attraction RUclipsr💜
The more we work on our own selves, the better we attract, in this case, a better partner and a phenomenal relationship. There’s no such thing as the “right person” (to an extend) we have to become the right person first! You got this, I believe in you and invest into YOU! Best investment you can ever do is in yourself for your family, others, future and lives overall! 💯% back guarantee return on your investment! Have a great day! 🚀🎉❤️
🙏🏻🙌🏻❤️
@@Maria-006. Thank you Maria! 😘❤️🌹
@@NathalieLazo You’re Welcome 🤗
Thank you for this! Really good adivce and think everyone needs to see this!
@@Maria-006. 😘❤️🌹
I had to keep listening to you, Stephan Speakes, Lisa, marissa, day after day, podcast after podcast until my brain soaked up all the information and put it in to practice! I keep working on myself. I’m 65…lots of things to let go of and live in the moment! I stopped planning date 2 before we went on date 1. I’m enjoying the person! Not the perspective relationship
For anyone wondering, the lady’s name is Lori Gottlieb and her book is called Maybe You Should Talk To Someone
I have been looking for this lady’s name..!! Good one Larissa
Sorry, which lady ?
@@jeanannedupratt7075 the other guest ☺️
I need to watch this before every date to remind myself again and again and again.
It is like faulty programming that overwrites my thoughts and behavior when I go on a date and/or like someone. It feels really tedious, sometimes and afterwards, when I realize what I did or am doing, I am almost even shocked at how easily I let go of my goals because I fall back into fantasy thinking and dating 😢😂
I feel this so hard! No matter how many times I may have watched dating advice, I find myself back here again to remind myself when I am in that infatuation stage or early dating.
Dang it.. Wish I had seen this years ago..
Long story short, I dated this girl. In hindsight, it was a terrible idea.. But just like you said, I was in fantasy land.. Maybe not my fault, but we had talked a lot about a future together etc. And then she just dumped me, and was very nonchalant about it..
I was totally gutted.
I'm normally pretty good to shake off disappointment, but in this case, I spiraled down pretty fast.. Wondering what could I do to get her back etc..
But after about a year.. the lightbulb finally went on..
Boom.. I figured myself out.. I wasn't upset with losing her. I still had many good memories.. But what I lost was my future.
And when you lose your future, you are wandering aimlessly towards.. nothing... And given my personality, that's not how I function..
Once I let go of this fantasy/future, and realigned myself with other goals, I had this tremendous sense of relief.
Thank you guys for helping others see this too.
Thank you for being here for us Jay. I always listen to your podcast whenever life gets hard. you make my day🤍
"Be a lighthouse. Be the energy that you want first."
Excellent, Matthew.
Just actually GETTING a date would be a fine thing! I have had SO MANY conversations online but that's as far as it goes. I realise it's the thing about online dating but it's not even online dating it's online chatting and then....nothing. I have had a few, but very few and unsuccessful. 😑🙄
Just text :
“ so when are you going to ask me out on a date 😉?
@@Toobs8465 I have since come off dating sites. Waste of time and attracts the wrong types.
Many times we can get caught up in thinking that our opposer can steal or gift or steal our position. The fact is no matter what the enemy does he can never take your place. He can get the spot next to you but he can never get your spot! God has graced you to walk in your calling in a way that no one else can, baby your seat is reserved!!
So much values from your videos every time!
In this past year I learned the importance of self-love and acceptance, thanks to your words and the content you've put out. I hope that everyone can find peace with themselves and can enjoy life to the fullest.
Thank you Jay!
Really this video is pretty much, be perfect, don't not be perfect.
This was so insightful and eye-opening. Thank you and all your guests!
Love listening to these while working. So cool! Thank you
I really like this mashup. It makes me want to watch each full episode. Or just be satisfied with this new thing 😊
I loved hearing the story of your wife and your story!!! Thank you so much for sharing!
Wow so enlightening. Thank you for sharing, this was so amazing 🤍
Love this!!! I have wasted so much time hoping things would change but am making some changes of my own this year.
"...talking over their internal voice..." and listening reminded me of Quiet Leadership by David Rock and "asking thinking questions". Next level creative, constructive provocation of better thinking in another.
Loved all the interviews! Especially with you and your wife!
Hello, Patrick here from Mind Life Flow :). Such great content on dating mistakes - information that can help so many people. Many clients I see talk about similar information. And yes, using the term narcissist too freely - is not helpful! :)
I haven’t dated for 4 years. I have learnt a lot in The last 10 years (since break up by my covert narc ex) and hope that my self-esteem has got even stronger in the last 4. I think the way to find out who a person really is, is to go on holiday with them. I’m older now so it may not even happen . That’s ok as I have a full life. But if anyone does come along, I will wait until we can go away together before I get too involved. I’m pretty sure I won’t be fooled by charm again. If only I’d known all this stuff when I was younger.
I see the sense in this. Even for friendship this works. Another way is if you have an early argument or disagreement. I recently learned that HOW you argue (as Mathew Hussey stated), says alot about dynamics between you. It can expose a gentleness in someone that is not immediately evident.
So true - just ended a vacation half way through and broke up with the guy!
Be careful about how you talk about your ex...it says alot about yourself. If you see traits of covert narcissim in your ex, then it means you have those same traits yourself in unexpected and surprising ways. I think we should all humble ourselves and take ourselves off the pedestal in order to grow emotionally, spiritually. Peace to everyone 🙏
@@Eserr7856 gosh yes I agree. I confidently describe my ex as a covert narc because a relate therapist we both saw at the same time - for a couple of times (he wouldn’t go after that but I continued to see her ) confirmed he was one , when I had my suspicions after our break up. I said” I think I’ve been in a narcissistically abusive relationship” , she said “well your mums one isn’t she?”. I was flabbergasted that she knew. The therapist had been trying to get my confidence up, get me out of denial but she didn’t say anything about my ex . I had to work that out for myself. Really, I wish my ex a well life. I don’t want him anywhere near me though. I don’t blame him for how he treated me. I know I was just as unwell as him to not do anything about red flags, in my desperate need to find love. With his final discard of me he set me free and I learnt so much and yes I learnt where I had been narcissistic too and made amends for that. We all have narcism but it can increase with the wrong partner. I believe my issue was co-dependency. I had some wonderful times in the beginning with my ex, however the cost to my well-being was immense. I wouldn’t have wanted to have been married to me either by the end of the marriage. I couldn’t do anything for myself I was utterly controlled by him. I allowed myself to get into that state but it did take many years of gas-lighting, cognitive dissonance , manipulation and control so I won’t be too hard on myself.
I have learned so much from these two great handsome fellers, I love this podcast..
Beautiful podcast!
To any one who watch this
You're gonna be the best husbands & wifes
One of the best talks i've ever listened to. Amazing approach to love and so true, so authentic! Love you both!
Matthew it's normal and natural to be nervous when you go on a date with somebody... I never thought it from your perspective about their status and what they're wearing or and then I try to figure myself out and say don't be nervous and be yourself and try to have a relaxing you know demeanor because it's not easy to be me and be totally cool if they don't like it...
Thank you. Sometimes I thought there was something wrong with me because i don’t get nervous on a date. I don’t get why people do! It’s supposed to be fun. If a guy makes me nervous, its a red flag for me.
Wow!! I never thought of it that way! It really Should be red flag, thank you
I was extremely nervous on my first date, I actually cried before I went and was wondering whether to go. Apparently, he wasn't nervous at all. 4 months later, I couldn't have asked for a better person he has turned out to be amazing,we have the same values and outlook on life, and we're in love. But I tell myself this is very early on, so I'm still cautious and not getting my hopes up too much.
This Conversation is coming out Better than What I thought 💭 😅🎉❤ I will have to watch this Twice.
Giving an amount of energy i am willing to loose. Won my heart ❤ Many thanks for this content!
I got sick to my stomach on our first date, almost puked... honestly, he makes me feel so lucky, he treats me so good... I think I found my soul mate, a little nervousness is nothing compared to what we found in each other!!!
Wow all on a first date?
damn that analogy about charles Bukowski is so powerful, dont get upset because you lost a poet, the poetry is whats special, the work done to build something...
watching this high and actually FEEL everything he describes hits differently
I don’t like dating apps I was in one 15 years ago way before tinder and I was on sex chat rooms.
It’s very desperate and when I think about it I was
I thought I be lost without a man so sad .
But I have been single 3 years and no one night stands dating for 6 months so proud off myself and I have done therapy
It feels good
You guys are so young and very much understanding about this game. Good stuff for learning how to do this game carefully.
Getting crazy nervous on the date when you’re valuing the guy's status.
Falling in love, too fast based on few dates
Ghosting is closure
It didn't happen bc it wasn't meant to happen
First fight is so learning. Does he show compassion or judging you? Is he looking to figure it out? If you're bleeding after an argument every time, that's toxic and a problem. This relationship will create wounds
If the culture is not serving you, you should create your own
You’re right but I’m always super nervous in any new situation.
This video was so insightful!
Great video❤️❤️❤️
Matthew, you give great advice that will work wonderfully for young people. We need an episode for divorced people over 40. The dating pool is so much smaller and the values are different. If I was looking for a man as you describe, I will die single. I wish I could go back in time when I was 20 and use your methods.
Every time Jay says, “I love that” it feels like an auto-canned response. He says it so much as a response in every single interview. Just seems like he’s fixed on staying in a feeling instead of exploring the facets of what’s being said.
the life saving video. Thank you so much for your input!!!
Happiness and comfort are two different things ❤️❤️❤️
I’ve created my own culture and it’s trump tight…I deflect the demons quickly…I feel their energy and negative motives and direct my energy and attention towards like energy and it’s not from a place of need or desperation. I love connecting with ppl that can feel the difference. It’s so organic and amazing and rare.
Question for another video:::: questions to ask on a first date for connection vs making a good impression
Poetry is a relationship
What’s the therapist name? And the name of her book?
Matthew "Your mind has to be on date 2, with your body" 😂😂❤❤❤❤
So true!!
Who else is here to learn and admire Jay Shetty's eyes?
Well....I think I can see why Matthew is single. The partner who can match his value is worth their weight in gold ❤
Or its just BS and it doesn't work like that and he's exactly where a logical and sane person predicts him to be.
When u open up vulnerably- are they looking to figure u out? Or do they judge u? Do they ask questions? Are they tryna uplift the good and sooth the bad?
Go into it with genuine purpose👁️
Damn.. when you mentioned when a family member is not well(in which my brother let his self die,very excruciating at that) he had no empathy.. he made me feel tending to my brother like I was cheating!!! End the end my at the partner is a covert narcissist!!.. I have similar true life situations.. I have Been working to come into my own .. and manipulating me is nearly obsolete!! Crazy f…ing people out there
If only was that easy to control your emotions , if only
Beautiful eyes Jay 💪🏿
Preach!!!
Very happy for you Jay that you and your wife are absolutely beautiful couple
Very nice video, thanks! Next time, please, put the music lower so we are not disturbed or annoyed by it. Thank you!
Unbelievable talk truth hard to hear painful to hear but I had to hear this.
Hello what is the guests name?
It’s much harder when you were with somebody for 14 years then it’s gone
OMG I just figured out my attachment style and that was like amazing and scary. Now what? It describes me exactly to the letter. 🙄
Very interesting!
I dont care if im single for a long time. I dont need dating tips because first and foremast dating for me is so fake. I dont label someone as “my date.” Or I “had a date blah blah.”
Some women believe in these stupid concept about dating. Thats why most couples break up behind all that “fake facade.”
Its rare to find a genuine person nowadays.
I dont need Matthews’ concept. Thats him! Very analytical and systematic which bores the hell out of me.
I love you Jay because you’re a valuable man. Very honest. ❤
Absolutely..not out to impress him.
We try to pre conceive a future of what we so want them to be in there lives.
i love being alone, have no desire to have any relationships at all.. This video for me is kinda amusing and can't understand this dating game.
It would be nice if the woman in this was also credited and the book mentioned.
Yes who is she and I want to know the name of her book too!
Working on my CPTSD but it sucks how my anxiety is a beacon for the healthy to avoid and the worst to think hey easy target
Can I ask an opinion or thoughts on losing a significant other? Is it still the same as Matt was saying that we shouldn't fantasize of what could have been? So I lost my husband at 25 years old in a flying accident. We had been together 9.5 years. We were not perfect and definitely had our problems, which many do not know or understand, fast forward 8 years later I am remarried and have a child with my husband. On specific times of the year or holidays, or even if my husband acts in a way I do not like, I almost get frustrated and angry on what was stolen from me. I guess I am wondering if you would approach it in the same way?
Death steals and destroys no doubt.. I'm on the same boat. But we can't change what happened only learn to live with it. Appreciate what you have now and build new memories. All the best to you.
Celebrate his life and having gotten the chance to have shared what you have shared together. Gratitude.
And Presence to Life that is here Now.
Recommended reading: Power or Now by Eckhart Tolle. And Stillness speaks.
Love!
I am a love addict and I choose to be single now because it’s easier
"if it didn't happen it wasn't meant to happen" ... This pretty much implies the future is set, because when it IS meant to happen is will happen... What on earth is this nonsense?
Then I might as well not 'attempt' dating anymore anyway because eventually it'll just happen regardless. or not, and then you also have your answer.
This can be applied for non romantic relationships also :)
Hm title didn't directly correlate with the content. Didn't realise it was going to be a mash up.
She is saying that you don't it's okay if you don't forgive them you got to figure yourself and maybe her kids will give her a chance now that she is trying to make amends from My religion we're supposed to give everybody no matter what it's hard for me to forgive my ex for his deliberate blatant choices he made and made it my fault... I agree with MJ that people want to bring up the issues in life in order to have a conversation, . I have been learning to bring up some positive stuff and ask people good questions in order to get a good response I just sometimes have a hard time thinking of a really neat question to ask them that's not getting too personal but also getting to know who they are...
Quantum theory of relationships
Can you explain why some guys just look at a girl and they melt. Abel (the weeknd) Tesfaye has experienced that long before he was famous and was homeless no money etc.
Who is the lady appearing after the first guest ? She is right about being able to liste !
But why you(Jay) keep re-uploading content all over again?
It's not the first time, and I already watched this episode :/
Agree I fall in love too quickly
Why was Matthew’s part cut short? I feel like there was more to share.
Jay this podcast is awesome but please provide all names of interviewees. It took me some time to find this lady and her mysterious book that I have never heard about before. She wasn't introduced in the video. Title shows only Matthew and Jay, description of video is about something else. Thank you!
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
Dating is not easy
I hope i meet that someone soon
Thanks
Can you have 2 love languages? (2 languages to feel loved?)
26:29 this is so sad and true of most peoppe
Would it not be so awesome if most people would be willing to work on becoming their own better version
Could someone tell me who the female therapist is? I don’t see her name anywhere
Same here! I'd like to know her name, the book she mentioned and which episode it is
💯💯💯
17:04 "Marriage is a 50 year conversation."--Brooks
Yup. 🤷🏼♀️
I would like to know who the woman is in the second part of the video.
I was marries to a narcissistic man abusive for 12 years of marriage. Divorced him. Been single for 18 years. Found a amazing man and he broke up our friendship Christmas Eve. Broken heart again. I hate men.
So sorry to hear that. Cruel time to do it. Maybe he wasn’t completely amazing. People hide things. Hope you’ve managed to get through Christmas ok.
that's true. i left my ex 12 yrs ago,still aone.no need to be i n relationship.
🙌🙌
yur children are going to be super gorgeous 🥰
Hes good
What if you scored equally in a b and c category 😭😭
Hey Jay! There are so many obstacles to meeting the right man. For instance, in Las Vegas, the gambling setup steals a lot of men as that can be addictive, they really do not care very much about finding a true partner...if you are by the beach, it could be the surfer culture that robs the men...if you are in a heavily gay region, they may be robbed by the other side...if you travel to S America, they are just trying to get to your country...even in Church a lot of guys are avoidant....so...for women it is not easy to find them! I do agree with you about dating and waiting to get to know someone...it takes awhile. I am speaking for myself as a mature woman, but also many young women who have discussed the scarcity of men.
what is the name of this book please?