As someone who delivers NY Times as well as several other major & local newspapers on a nightly basis, I was definitely a bit confused as to why I had no Times printed this morning. My overhead just said it was a long story when asked about it. So once again, thanks to Colbert I was able to discover the real news that is usually directly in my hands🙏🏼😂🤣!!
Stephen Colbert did not come up with that statement BTW. SC would have no material to work with if not for the guy living rent free in his and others' heads
@@tonymontana6550 No - idiots would keep his coffers full of material and there is no shortage. And, no kidding about the statement. He didn't invent the clothes he's wearing, either. Sheesh
No joke, I work as a Geo Lab Technician in Central Texas, & there's a guy in his 30s that I work with that is originally from Peru. He mentioned last week that he'll be leaving this weekend to go back to Peru for 11 days, but after the President was impeached & replaced with the Vice President a lot of people at work asked him if he's worried this could effect his trip. Well, when I talked to him at work this morning, he basically told me "as long as the airports remain open it should be a great trip," because (as Stephen mentioned) this has happened so often in Peru that he's used to it.
"he has never been inside that storage facility" do they see how that's worse? that means it was definitionally in someone else's possession to get there.
"He has never been inside the storage unit" is NOT a good defense. It only proves he gave access to those documents to whatever employee put them in storage. It's ADDITIONAL mishandling of classified material.
It seems that Peru tries out presidents like a friend of mine tries out shoes. Which is better than what we’ve done here in the US, electing a president that clearly didn’t fit, leaving it on for 4 years, and even 2 years after taking it off we still haven’t been able to get rid of it.
I’m sure that it will be the biglyest library ever. Tremendous. The bestest library in the history of the world. All of the other libraries will be jealous. One entire wing will be dedicated to the magazines that had his picture or name on it, with a prominent golden showcase containing the actual magazines that porn stars have spanked him with.
And the American Right wing are all over this guy. They can't believe an old Russian criminal is worth the same as an Black American LBGTQ woman who represents the sweet spot of Democratic policy in their own damn country! As if Conservatives have not screwed themselves enough with *rump and the mid-terms, they want to double down on their bigotry and racism with outrage again. Sit this one out Faux Views and MAGA. Don't dig your hole any deeper.
"With great power comes great corruption." That is sadly much more accurate than the original quote, and being demonstrated everywhere around the world lately 😔
AKGD: Donald Jessica is the most corrupt excuse for a president this country has ever had. And yet, he can run for president again. He’s above the law because he’s allowed to be
@@livb6945 It's just gotten a lot more widespread in the last decade or so, with the rise in autocracies, and anti-democratic ideologies and tendencies growing everywhere, even within old democracies... 😓
Awesome monologue & show, this one, Stephen! I wish you could invite Brittney Griner, to be on show your show. I would love it if we could get her firsthand experience of that Bullsh*t tragedy she had to endure.
It would be great if they did an episode of Storage Wars, where they find a box of Trump's classified documents, and they try to sell them on Ebay to the highest bidder.
Most definitely a good show . Do one with all of Colberts impressions on it for the show . Impressions show . It would be hilarious . I absolutely love his Erik trump impression . Part 2 just came out . I'm responsible for most of thats videos being I bevel.
There's also a thing called Don't Wordle where you have to AVOID using the correct letters, and if you do get them, you have to use them in all the guesses after that.
Love the monologues! They make me laugh, they make me think and they make me feel as if I’m not the only one who feels the same way I do! Sanity in tact six years running because I watch Colbert!😂🎉❤
Peru did not protect democracy... Are you a liberal? What would you have done if your constitution was crafted by a genocidal racist Republican president who made it impossible for a Democrat to ever hold power. And on the off shot that one was elected the super right wing congress could impeach him for any made up reason. That's what Castillo was dealing with. 3 impeachment attempts in less than 2 years if he doesn't do what they want. The congress is the one full of corruption. His attempt at dissolving it which he has the power to do although he did not meet the requirements for isn't the gotcha you think it is.
@@ursaltydog Why are you being so simple minded. That constitution was crafted by a racist who force sterilized over 300,000 indigenous Peruvian women... It was crafted to give his fashion of politics a strong hold over the Peru government. That RIGHT WING congress is way more corrupt than the leaders they have impeached.
@@adamtak3128 He was an authoritarian just like this one is trying to be as well. As for his fellow politicians in the RIGHT WING congress being corrupt, if so, then they should be led out too, like the current president.
pet peeve of mine: when TV/movies dub "flap flap flep" over scenes inside helicopters instead of the turbine's "eeeeeeeee", which is how it really sounds. comes right after binocular scenes showing two intersecting circles.
He has never been inside the storage facility, and, frankly, he's never opened a single document folder placed on his desk during his time in the Oval Office. Used a few as coasters, or makeshift plates to reheat hamburgers in the microwave? Sure.. but opened them to do a little work? Not once.
LIES! He has also munched on a few documents and flushed some others. Obama didn't eat a single document because he wasn't even born IN AMERICA and has no patriotism. The liestream media will not tell you that. covfefe.
I bet Donald was in the Oval Office when there was a camera around, other wise they attached a stamp of his name to a drinking bird desk toy and it did all the work
@@tvs9978 According to one of his staff he did. He was in a room with a lot of boxes. The staff offered to help, and he shooed them away and insisted on packing himself which is why they remembered it because it was so unusual for him! I read that in her book (Stephanie Grisham) MONTHS before Mar A Lago FBI search. It only made sense to me then.
"if you're headed to Machu Pichu, you should've left in the year 1450" 😄for some reason that was particularly funny. Speaks to really bad traffic. Like, just forget about ever going anywhere.
Speaking of Brittney Griner's wrongful detention, I was once detained at Newark customs because I had a 17 year old weed possession conviction in Canada. No drugs. No vape cartridge. Just an old conviction for which I had a FULL PARDON in Canada. So full in fact, that US Customs could not find the conviction after 7 hours of searching for it. Then they finally released me and told me the next time I come to the USA and am asked by customs officials if I have any prior convictions, to lie. Then they said "Welcome to the USA, enjoy your stay." Weird, huh? Those damned Ruskies 😡
Can someone tell me WHY I'm supposed to be glad that a dangerous international criminal has been swapped for a spoiled, entitled prima donna who was too STUPID to bother to check her luggage for drugs before she went to a totalitarian country? One law for us and another for the sports princess and I'm SICK of it. I don't give a D*MN about Brittany Griner.
I agree! Most of the interviews are quite boring. The Daily Show (both under Job Stewart and *especially* under Trevor Noah) had much better interviews.
Dear Stephen: Thank you for using the made-up word: Worser. My mom used to say that all the time back in the day and I still use it today. I smiled hearing you use it in tonight's monologue .
Will de Jong But we as society use words to represent certain objects, meanings, feelings etcetera. That is why we get certain dialects of the same language spoken in different parts of any country. The words can change meaning or disapear at any point in time. However we as society agree that better is the word to describe something is improving same as worse for something getting worse. Worser means the literal same as worse. Normally you would say worse and even worse than that. But everyone gets the point of what worser means so maybe we are in the progress of changing the meaning here. After all you point out correctly that words are made up by us. Like how literally changed to mean "figuratively" many years ago.
@@Jartran72 That was a lot. Some of it made sense. But what I heard bestest is that "literally" is your vote for worstest word in current usage. TBH, whenever I see/hear someone using "literally" to mean "figuratively" I by default assume that they are uneducated and/or stupid. It's one of my many pet peeves. And, if you were wondering, no, I usually don't use words like worser and bestest except in jest.
Mr Whelan was serving his country. Griner was there to make a buck while getting high in vapes. Guess which one the Biden administration gave a dangerous criminal back to Russia to get free?
It was not “nothing” he is a terrible person. . . Whelan was dishonorably discharged for stealing over $10,000 from the Marines. He's not a Marine, he's an ex-Marine who was kicked out of the Corps for grand larceny and other crimes. He was arrested as a spy for Trump and is serving less time in Russia than his crimes and oath-breaking normally would've gotten him as punishment from the Marines. More than that, he stole weapons, and sold them to the enemy; sold goods on the black market; and scammed other soldier and marines out of more than $10,000. No longer legally allowed to call himself a Marine. Not to mention the fact that he was spying for Trump and he left him there for 2 years while he was still in office. Trump doesn't care about him.
You mean President Biden didn’t tweet that he was the one solely responsible for her release and it was the “best negotiation ever” like someone else we had as president would have done? It’s nice to see that Brittney Griner has been released and will be home with her wife and family for the holidays. I can’t imagine how frightening this has been.
I know , that thought of being stuck in a Russian jail, that’s got to be serious anybodies worse fear since many have left in body bags! And this being such a stupid reason to be detained! This truly is a nightmare coming to an end! But I am certain she’ll need to process it all and I hope there is the best of the best offering her counseling!
@@Tony-723 I 100% agree. She was careless and/or stupid, and we had to trade an influential arms dealer to get her back, and for some dumb reason we didn't even get Paul Whelan back in the deal. Her carelessness and/or stupidity has made the world a little more dangerous now. I guess we need to arrest a Russian to get Whelan back.
Someone else we had as President didn't give a hoot to try any negotiations with his best bud Vlad to release Whelan. Whelan has been there longer than Biden's 2nd year as President. I'm glad at least one of them is home!
Dude, you are mad funny and I enjoy your show so much. You, Trevor, the Kimmel and Seth are my go to guys after a long day. Keep informing us and bringing the giggles. Happy Holidays!!!
I must confess something. Remember back in the day Swatch watches were a thing? For some reason in my high school wearing two watches was seen as fashionable so i followed the crowd and did the same. Knowing Rudy Guiliani does it now makes me cringe. 🥴
This week has been a splendid one for America, and Brittney Griner's release is the icing on this wonderful cake! And best of all, when Biden gave the announcement, there was no bragging about ratings or demanding credit. How refreshing!
It's not a win at all. She never should have been arrested and the swap was for someone who helped facilitate the deaths of thousands. The smart thing to do should have been to arrest a Russian Athlete on bogus charges and swap that way. Because now this sets a precedent for future negotiations with other countries. Wouldn't surprise me if China pulls a similar stunt soon This wasn't a prisoner swap, it was Ransom and its made all the worse because of how Brittney was forced to suffer because Russia felt like being A-holes And to the inevitable strawman that will come along, I'm NOT saying we should have left her there.
@@POPCORN_BRAWL I’m pretty sure she must’ve seen some traumatizing things. Russian prisons are no walk in the park. She looked worried in that clip from the plane today 😔
Super grateful Brittney Griner is home, and grateful folks are advocating for Paul Whelan's release. Now it's time for the world to know the story of educator Marc Fogel who is being held unjustly on similar charges to Griner. Free Marc Fogel!
I'm kinda torn on the Brittney Griner story. A low offense crime for the exchange of the "Death Merchant." While Russia gave her hard time, WE in the United States have men and women incarcerated for the same offense. What about them?
I think all those people should absolutely be released too, but Russian prisons are notoriously dangerous and deadly places, and the abuse she would have faced from not only being American, but an unusually tall and masculine presenting gay woman would have been extreme in one of the most anti-LGBT countries on earth. It's quite likely she wouldn't even have survived 9 years in a penal colony. Who knows what kind of hell she's already been through. Our prisons are horrid places, but nothing like the conditions she would have been facing there.
Can someone tell me WHY I'm supposed to be glad that a dangerous international criminal has been swapped for a spoiled, entitled prima donna who was too STUPID to bother to check her luggage for drugs before she went to a totalitarian country? One law for us and another for the sports princess and I'm SICK of it. I don't give a D*MN about Britrtany Griner.
You're not "kinda torn." You disapprove, and the issue is not who else is in prison. It's that your president liberated a man who is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people. I am stunned that ANYONE thinks this is OK.
@@CJ-oq6xs Awww poor delicate Brittney. Maybe if she didn't want to go to prison she shouldn't have the broken the law. But I realize that Democrats are all pro-crime.
That man would have finished serving his time in about 2 years and gone back to Russia anyway. This way a woman who might have died in a Gulag was returned for someone Putin was going to get soon enough no matter what.
Now I'm just waiting for Trump to say that he's never even met Cronkin, didn't know who she was or that she was at Mar-A-Lago, and that she just happened to stand next to him while he was doing a thumbs-up for the camera.
The problem with old 45's team turning over 2 more documents is that the National Archives probably has a pretty good idea of what is missing Until the National Archive comes out and says, 'Yes, we now believe that he has returned everything', the only thing we can assume is that he has more The classified material is his insurance policy in case they try to send him to prison Yet, it may end up being the thing that actually sends him to prison
"Is there any place this guy doesn't have classified documents?"
The National Archives, maybe? 😉
Brilliant
I see what you did there
"Pieces of nuclear secrets stuck on his buttocks" - Colbert
🤣
🤣🫤🤣
😂😂
As someone who delivers NY Times as well as several other major & local newspapers on a nightly basis, I was definitely a bit confused as to why I had no Times printed this morning. My overhead just said it was a long story when asked about it. So once again, thanks to Colbert I was able to discover the real news that is usually directly in my hands🙏🏼😂🤣!!
Long story: NY Times employees went on strike
@@ppleeatpple Ha!!! Yep, my point😂
I read the news on Thursday's edition of Toronto Star.
Thanks for getting the news to us!
i read it in the guardian
Damn, you said "Dammit, Janet" and now I got that song from Rocky Horror Picture Show in my head. 😉😂🤣😂🤣
Oh thank goodness I'm not the only one with that problem right now. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Dammit, Janet. I love youuuuuu.
The road was long but I ran it...
Thanks! I was afraid I'd be up all night trying to place that
And I can't get the image of Susan Sarandon from that movie out of my head....
not that I'd want to....
"with great power comes great corruption" - Stephen Colbert
Unfortunately very true 😞
very true...let's go Brandon!
@@brianclark9110 Not always are the two associated, however. Your intellect displays no power but your thought process is obviously corrupted.
"Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely" - Lord Acton
Stephen Colbert did not come up with that statement BTW. SC would have no material to work with if not for the guy living rent free in his and others' heads
@@tonymontana6550 No - idiots would keep his coffers full of material and there is no shortage.
And, no kidding about the statement. He didn't invent the clothes he's wearing, either. Sheesh
THANK YOU for providing closed captioning considerations for the Deaf and hearing impaired!
No joke, I work as a Geo Lab Technician in Central Texas, & there's a guy in his 30s that I work with that is originally from Peru. He mentioned last week that he'll be leaving this weekend to go back to Peru for 11 days, but after the President was impeached & replaced with the Vice President a lot of people at work asked him if he's worried this could effect his trip. Well, when I talked to him at work this morning, he basically told me "as long as the airports remain open it should be a great trip," because (as Stephen mentioned) this has happened so often in Peru that he's used to it.
😆
It's about time it happened here then too don't you think? Can I I hear a hell yeah?
That's wild.
I shudder to think what would've happened to our democracy if a similar situation had occurred here.
And Peru will close the airport without notice and unless you are a black, gay, basketball player you will stay there forever.
"he has never been inside that storage facility" do they see how that's worse? that means it was definitionally in someone else's possession to get there.
Exactly! Rofl. And sigh. And lol? No lol, just sigh...
Unauthorized possession.
+.
I don't think anything they say even has to make sense anymore. Anyone still on board with Drumpf at this point is beyond help...
@@NNFaNRacing i personally haven't used "drumpf" in awhile,just censored his name or made fun of it. Thanks for this glorious reminder lmfao
Helicopter impression: priceless 😂
🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌
d
He learned that from veteran radio newsman Lester R. Nessman Jr.
"He has never been inside the storage unit" is NOT a good defense. It only proves he gave access to those documents to whatever employee put them in storage. It's ADDITIONAL mishandling of classified material.
"We got him this time" " the walls are closing in" lmao if they had something they would have done it by now
The headline gag was freakin' hilarious. The fact that the print below the headline is in Latin is just the icing on the cake.
It’s actually not Latin but Lorem ipsum which is gibberish Latin used to check the formatting of newsprint 😅😊
@@Chocolatenigma Thanks for the clarification. 😀
I had to pause to check that 😂
As a Peruvian, I can agree that it has been hectic these years, one of our presidents was even one for only 6 days😅
I hope Peruvians are ok!! Con animo mi gente! 🇲🇽🤝🇵🇪
It seems that Peru tries out presidents like a friend of mine tries out shoes. Which is better than what we’ve done here in the US, electing a president that clearly didn’t fit, leaving it on for 4 years, and even 2 years after taking it off we still haven’t been able to get rid of it.
Wish that's how long Trudeau lasted, but that's democracy for yea.
Yeap... It took 5 days and 2 deads but he resigned...
Didn't you guys have a Japanese president at one point? He wasn't even Peruvian.
Gargog the Fleshmangler is my next orc character in D&D
Stephen Colbert & the Late Show are my daily does of serotonin. 🤣
Especially now that Trevor said goodbye...
They're going to have to dig up that "grave" on his golf course if they want to find all of the documents he stole.
I miss Jon twinkling the keys when Stephen does that twiddle thing to the side
You😮ri
Fhhhhi hi h
My day doesn’t feel the same without my dose of Stephen. Thanks to him, I’ve been able to get through this insane year.
get through the last 6 insane years*
For me he’s helped keep me sane all through Trumps reign of terror and especially covid.
Me tooo!
@@vvohvaelez9277 Exactly!!
Needs to dribble or ‘it’s traveling’.
holy shit you can hear someone yell "penis" right before the crowd when they're doing the colbertdle segment (9:10)
😆 I just went back and heard it lol
Glad I’m not the only one who heard that.
You're the real MVP
Can you even imagine He Who Shall Not Be Named having a LIBRARY???
I’m sure that it will be the biglyest library ever. Tremendous. The bestest library in the history of the world. All of the other libraries will be jealous. One entire wing will be dedicated to the magazines that had his picture or name on it, with a prominent golden showcase containing the actual magazines that porn stars have spanked him with.
For his address books? 😉
I picture his library as a magazine rack next to the toilet.
Picture books all around!
Maybe give him one in the prison he ends up in.
HOOP, THERE SHE IS.. LOL oh my god... Stephen and his writers never disappoint.
That line it’s what made me click on the video😂😅 genius 😜
ngl, the chest beating helicopter effect was elegantly brilliant. lmfao
In case Viktor Bout sounds kind of familiar, Nicolas Cage played a character inspired by him in the movie Lord of War with Jared Leto as his brother.
a movie...
That was based off of him? Pretty good movie. I always enjoy Nic Cage films.
@@Coloradocorean not very accurately, but it was the inspiration. And depends on which of his movies, I liked Lord of War.
And the American Right wing are all over this guy. They can't believe an old Russian criminal is worth the same as an Black American LBGTQ woman who represents the sweet spot of Democratic policy in their own damn country! As if Conservatives have not screwed themselves enough with *rump and the mid-terms, they want to double down on their bigotry and racism with outrage again. Sit this one out Faux Views and MAGA. Don't dig your hole any deeper.
Those two are polar opposites.
Gotta love the Peruvian My Alpaca guy.
Been seeing so many Conservatives being Unamerican on this issue, we all should be happy another AMERICAN has been freed period!
I’m a liberal and I’m still like ummm this guy is responsible for deaths in Rwanda and sold to the Taliban and other terrorists
It wasn't a great trade, but I'm happy she can come home because she didn't deserve prison camps for a little hash oil.
You’re thinking like an empathetic decent person, and honest actor. That was your first “mistake,” Leonaza.
✌🏼👍🏼
Look the Biden bot is back
@@alexdasliebe5391 fr republicans are all walking zombies
"With great power comes great corruption." That is sadly much more accurate than the original quote, and being demonstrated everywhere around the world lately 😔
I don't really think "lately" is needed here
Another appropriate famous turn of phrase.....
Absolute power, corrupts absolutely! 💯
AKGD: Donald Jessica is the most corrupt excuse for a president this country has ever had. And yet, he can run for president again. He’s above the law because he’s allowed to be
*Symbiote Suit Spider-Man has entered the chat*
@@livb6945 It's just gotten a lot more widespread in the last decade or so, with the rise in autocracies, and anti-democratic ideologies and tendencies growing everywhere, even within old democracies... 😓
Best helicopter impression in the history of comedy-and of kids making machine noises 😂
Awesome monologue & show, this one, Stephen! I wish you could invite Brittney Griner, to be on show your show. I would love it if we could get her firsthand experience of that Bullsh*t tragedy she had to endure.
"Dammit Janet?"
There's a reference I didn't see coming...
🎶"Let's Do The Time Warp Again!"🎶 🤣👍
aww, i wanted to do The Time Warp…Damn It Janet! ❤😂
Damn it, Janet! Thanks for the Rocky Horror squib.
🎶"Let's Do The Time Warp Again!"🎶 🤣👍
It would be great if they did an episode of Storage Wars, where they find a box of Trump's classified documents, and they try to sell them on Ebay to the highest bidder.
Perfect!!
Well we all know Trump doesn't pay his bills, so..... 😆
Most definitely a good show . Do one with all of Colberts impressions on it for the show . Impressions show . It would be hilarious . I absolutely love his Erik trump impression . Part 2 just came out . I'm responsible for most of thats videos being I bevel.
Close, watch their 'cold open' segment.
and an episode of 'HOARDERS: MOB BOSS EX POTUS EDITION'.
OMG. Helicopter segment was absolutely HILARIOUS!!!!! Colbert,you are a national treasure, sir!!!!!
There's also a thing called Don't Wordle where you have to AVOID using the correct letters, and if you do get them, you have to use them in all the guesses after that.
Love the monologues! They make me laugh, they make me think and they make me feel as if I’m not the only one who feels the same way I do! Sanity in tact six years running because I watch Colbert!😂🎉❤
Jimmy is way funnier, but Colbert is not far behind 🏃
You meant ‘delusion in tact’
Then trading a Merchant of death and leaving a Marine for a basketball player you call Sanity! You better check yours
@@ericklaus3972 libtards are called that for a reason. She is a black lesbian, the most protected class in USA.
Not only Peru but Germany has outdone us on protecting democracy this week alone.
If only our government will follow Germany’s lead with their insurrection!
Peru did not protect democracy... Are you a liberal? What would you have done if your constitution was crafted by a genocidal racist Republican president who made it impossible for a Democrat to ever hold power. And on the off shot that one was elected the super right wing congress could impeach him for any made up reason. That's what Castillo was dealing with. 3 impeachment attempts in less than 2 years if he doesn't do what they want. The congress is the one full of corruption. His attempt at dissolving it which he has the power to do although he did not meet the requirements for isn't the gotcha you think it is.
@@adamtak3128 He was subverting their laws and constitution. And yes, I'm liberal who believes in a constitution.
@@ursaltydog Why are you being so simple minded. That constitution was crafted by a racist who force sterilized over 300,000 indigenous Peruvian women... It was crafted to give his fashion of politics a strong hold over the Peru government. That RIGHT WING congress is way more corrupt than the leaders they have impeached.
@@adamtak3128 He was an authoritarian just like this one is trying to be as well. As for his fellow politicians in the RIGHT WING congress being corrupt, if so, then they should be led out too, like the current president.
Love the helicopter impression! What a hoot!
@@mrsog7468 so I'm old...is there an age limit on language now?
Arrogant pup.
Willie Nelson's belly button--LOL! Kudos to the writer who came up with that!
Using his mic to imitate a traffic helicopter was a stroke of genius
Classic Police Academy move.
A thump of genius…
he does that all the time.....as well as many other people before him
pet peeve of mine: when TV/movies dub "flap flap flep" over scenes inside helicopters instead of the turbine's "eeeeeeeee", which is how it really sounds.
comes right after binocular scenes showing two intersecting circles.
That flew over my head (pun not intended) until I read your comment
He has never been inside the storage facility, and, frankly, he's never opened a single document folder placed on his desk during his time in the Oval Office.
Used a few as coasters, or makeshift plates to reheat hamburgers in the microwave? Sure.. but opened them to do a little work? Not once.
The only time he's ever read a document is when he was pretend working when he cut off his interview with John Dickerson short.
LIES! He has also munched on a few documents and flushed some others. Obama didn't eat a single document because he wasn't even born IN AMERICA and has no patriotism. The liestream media will not tell you that. covfefe.
Most likely he stole the documents to either sell them for $$$ or barter his way out of some criminal jeopardy.
Supremely...to the point. No one talks about this. He is a clingon. Vampire.
I bet Donald was in the Oval Office when there was a camera around, other wise they attached a stamp of his name to a drinking bird desk toy and it did all the work
If Rump has never been in the storage locker then how did they get there? Who else, that do not have security clearance, have handled these documents?
The same staff that packed the boxes. Imagine thinking he packed his own things.
You actually think he packed the boxes himself?
@@tvs9978 According to one of his staff he did. He was in a room with a lot of boxes. The staff offered to help, and he shooed them away and insisted on packing himself which is why they remembered it because it was so unusual for him! I read that in her book (Stephanie Grisham) MONTHS before Mar A Lago FBI search. It only made sense to me then.
@@mysterywriter888 oh please Trump doing manual work?? . Come on. The woman is trying to sell a book use your critical thinking skills.
*rump 😉💙
Steve doing chopper SFX with flat hands on chest........mind.....blown !!!
Beyond relived Brittany Griner is back!!!! So so happy about the elated news!!!!!
Dang it. I took a swig of coffee just as the Bolton-as-President joke started.
Rare slip up from graphics, printing the full Orange Turd's name in the CubeSmart joke
yeah that was a surprise...I wonder if they debated about before they decided to put it in there.
"if you're headed to Machu Pichu, you should've left in the year 1450" 😄for some reason that was particularly funny. Speaks to really bad traffic. Like, just forget about ever going anywhere.
Welcome home, Brittney 💙💙💙💙💙💙
This isn't a win for Joe Biden. He got played.
Speaking of Brittney Griner's wrongful detention, I was once detained at Newark customs because I had a 17 year old weed possession conviction in Canada. No drugs. No vape cartridge. Just an old conviction for which I had a FULL PARDON in Canada. So full in fact, that US Customs could not find the conviction after 7 hours of searching for it. Then they finally released me and told me the next time I come to the USA and am asked by customs officials if I have any prior convictions, to lie. Then they said "Welcome to the USA, enjoy your stay."
Weird, huh? Those damned Ruskies 😡
It's actually worse going the other direction, bruh. My 20 year old cultivation charge (Cali) bars my from going to Canada anymore. 🤷♂️✌️💚🌲🍄🌏☮️
They held my step sister and I for hours because of an open bottle of baby asprin.
how is it a wrongful detention if its their countries rules? and your situation is nothing like Brittney Griners
@@mauriciogeovani2705 No. How (not) so?
It's not a wrongful detention if you have an illegal substance on you.
Stephen is my Christmas miracle.
Do you want to buy a pet rock. You sound intelligent
You know the difference between shit and shinola?
you sure are eating up his propaganda and lies.
You need help.
Oops… Yal dropped your MAGA hats! Here you go…. ⛑️🤏🏽
Love the Les Nessman traffic helicopter.
But no TURKEYS LOL
Just to know, 0.7 grams of oil is the equivalent of 14 drops (or 60% of a quarter teaspoon), and spread over nine years is 235 days per drop.
Sativa huh?
@@robertnewhart3547 INFJ
Can someone tell me WHY I'm supposed to be glad that a dangerous international criminal has been swapped for a spoiled, entitled prima donna who was too STUPID to bother to check her luggage for drugs before she went to a totalitarian country? One law for us and another for the sports princess and I'm SICK of it. I don't give a D*MN about Brittany Griner.
@@lorraineclark4413 Fix the lens, fix the feelings.
People in the US get busted for less😂
Love the chicken dance and the helicopter dance👍
I wish the entire show was Stephen doing a monologue 😂 Stephen Colberts Have I Got News For You would be brilliant.
I agree! Most of the interviews are quite boring. The Daily Show (both under Job Stewart and *especially* under Trevor Noah) had much better interviews.
Dear Stephen: Thank you for using the made-up word: Worser. My mom used to say that all the time back in the day and I still use it today. I smiled hearing you use it in tonight's monologue .
When you think about it, all words are made up, right? But, I’m curious, what do you think are the bestest and the worstest made up words?
@@willdejong7763 I was going to make the same point.
Will de Jong But we as society use words to represent certain objects, meanings, feelings etcetera. That is why we get certain dialects of the same language spoken in different parts of any country. The words can change meaning or disapear at any point in time. However we as society agree that better is the word to describe something is improving same as worse for something getting worse. Worser means the literal same as worse. Normally you would say worse and even worse than that. But everyone gets the point of what worser means so maybe we are in the progress of changing the meaning here. After all you point out correctly that words are made up by us. Like how literally changed to mean "figuratively" many years ago.
@@Jartran72 That was a lot. Some of it made sense. But what I heard bestest is that "literally" is your vote for worstest word in current usage. TBH, whenever I see/hear someone using "literally" to mean "figuratively" I by default assume that they are uneducated and/or stupid. It's one of my many pet peeves. And, if you were wondering, no, I usually don't use words like worser and bestest except in jest.
God BLESS her re-entry to safe soil, but let us not forget Mr. Whelan - still serving time for 'nothing'.
I bless upon you- watch 10 hours of wnba, youll hate me for it.
Mr Whelan was serving his country. Griner was there to make a buck while getting high in vapes. Guess which one the Biden administration gave a dangerous criminal back to Russia to get free?
Mr. Who? 🤔...of all the places on the planet, why in God's name go to Russia?
It was not “nothing” he is a terrible person. . . Whelan was dishonorably discharged for stealing over $10,000 from the Marines. He's not a Marine, he's an ex-Marine who was kicked out of the Corps for grand larceny and other crimes. He was arrested as a spy for Trump and is serving less time in Russia than his crimes and oath-breaking normally would've gotten him as punishment from the Marines.
More than that, he stole weapons, and sold them to the enemy; sold goods on the black market; and scammed other soldier and marines out of more than $10,000. No longer legally allowed to call himself a Marine.
Not to mention the fact that he was spying for Trump and he left him there for 2 years while he was still in office. Trump doesn't care about him.
And Julian ASSANGE and Edward snowdon
You mean President Biden didn’t tweet that he was the one solely responsible for her release and it was the “best negotiation ever” like someone else we had as president would have done?
It’s nice to see that Brittney Griner has been released and will be home with her wife and family for the holidays. I can’t imagine how frightening this has been.
Trading the worlds most notorious arms dealers for her is laughable
I know , that thought of being stuck in a Russian jail, that’s got to be serious anybodies worse fear since many have left in body bags! And this being such a stupid reason to be detained! This truly is a nightmare coming to an end! But I am certain she’ll need to process it all and I hope there is the best of the best offering her counseling!
@@Tony-723 I 100% agree. She was careless and/or stupid, and we had to trade an influential arms dealer to get her back, and for some dumb reason we didn't even get Paul Whelan back in the deal. Her carelessness and/or stupidity has made the world a little more dangerous now. I guess we need to arrest a Russian to get Whelan back.
So happy for her.
Someone else we had as President didn't give a hoot to try any negotiations with his best bud Vlad to release Whelan. Whelan has been there longer than Biden's 2nd year as President.
I'm glad at least one of them is home!
It is a huge win for Griner. Unfortunately, not everyone came home.
Dude, you are mad funny and I enjoy your show so much. You, Trevor, the Kimmel and Seth are my go to guys after a long day. Keep informing us and bringing the giggles. Happy Holidays!!!
Was semi expecting a Dr Evil finger thing at the end
Loved the helicopter …. Cracked me up
…that sfx department is golden😉
'My Alpaca' is infinitely more comfortable than 'My Pillow'...
that bit with he helicopter sound killed me 😁
That NYT headline joke just about laughed me off my chair.
4:02 "He will hang out with anybody" he also wanted to hang out mike pence or something, although i think he meant something else
Trump had 2 years to get that disgraced marine back home, but never did.
And Biden also left him there and preferred to bring an female athlete back…
@@Tony-723 Keep sucking that Fox News tailpipe. Don't attack your own country like Fox tells you to.
@@Tony-723 why are you so mad you're trolling a comedy show? Jeez, I really hope you find a better hobby...
@@Tony-723 Lol, the deal was Brittany or no one. Whelan was not on the table.
@@alexandradaniele then don’t trade! That was the worst trade in history,
Love Colbert! Finishes the day for me!!
Starts the day for me here in the UK. Been brushing my teeth with Colbert since the day it premiered!
I start my mornings by watching the show. Starts my day with a good laugh!
Listen !
That's the problem.
What laws Where?!😂🎉
"A bolt of calico" LOL
Love the look on VP Harris face. She looked relieved and proud. Way to go President Biden.
Loved the helicopter bit. Thanks all for all.
Thanks for the heads-up about Wordle. I am breaking my streak.
If Trump takes over, Stephen can always hide in the gorilla enclosure at the Bronx Zoo. He's got one part of being a gorilla down cold.
Out of the park as always Steve! GOODNIGHT.
Lmao the first word shouted out at 9:10 😂😂😂
Truly excellent as always. Thank you. : )
Thought for sure you'd slam Giuliani for his two watches 🤣
I must confess something. Remember back in the day Swatch watches were a thing? For some reason in my high school wearing two watches was seen as fashionable so i followed the crowd and did the same. Knowing Rudy Guiliani does it now makes me cringe. 🥴
He did that the other day, you must've missed it. The joke, I believe, was wearing two watches makes it more likely it's 5 o'clock somewhere.
Thank you for reminding me of the word “dither.” 🙏
+.
I also like 'dilly' and 'dally'...
@@TheGollyLlama Malfeasance...
Obfuscation...
Stephen used ASL! He did the sign for "later"!
This Colbert monologue is in the top 10 of the year.
That would have made for a great “storage wars” episode!😂
"Yyyyyuuuuuuup!"
This is a great, extra funny monologue. Great job, Late Show staff!
@@mrsog7468 I’m absolutely not a bot, but cool that you think so? Lol.
This week has been a splendid one for America, and Brittney Griner's release is the icing on this wonderful cake! And best of all, when Biden gave the announcement, there was no bragging about ratings or demanding credit. How refreshing!
It's bitter sweet because our marine is still there
It's not a win at all. She never should have been arrested and the swap was for someone who helped facilitate the deaths of thousands. The smart thing to do should have been to arrest a Russian Athlete on bogus charges and swap that way. Because now this sets a precedent for future negotiations with other countries. Wouldn't surprise me if China pulls a similar stunt soon
This wasn't a prisoner swap, it was Ransom and its made all the worse because of how Brittney was forced to suffer because Russia felt like being A-holes
And to the inevitable strawman that will come along, I'm NOT saying we should have left her there.
There's no credit to give. People are going to die because of who he released.
Didn't expect a Rocky Horror Picture Show reference today. How nice.
"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur adipiscing elit"-WHA?!? 😨🤯
All I can say is: I hope Brittney will catch up on some Colbert on her return 😊
Bet he gets her on the show.
@@POPCORN_BRAWL I’m pretty sure she must’ve seen some traumatizing things. Russian prisons are no walk in the park. She looked worried in that clip from the plane today 😔
9:09 lmfaooo he got that one in quick
WELCOME HOME GRINER!!! 🇺🇸
Imagine the tweet if Trump had arranged someone's release from Russian jail.
Super grateful Brittney Griner is home, and grateful folks are advocating for Paul Whelan's release. Now it's time for the world to know the story of educator Marc Fogel who is being held unjustly on similar charges to Griner. Free Marc Fogel!
Victor But was since 2008 in a US prison. He did already 14 years prison time.
So many more storage units to check -- that's not even including the ones in Iran, Russia, North Korea, and Saudi Arabia!
I'm thinkin'..check in dead wife , Ivana's casket
Ask Biden about his in Ukraine with hunter.
Or Scotland, where he was awfully proud of his golf courses. No offense to the Scottish, we're sorry he got over there too...
This was literally the same penalties in many US states in the 1990s for cannabis possession.
1:40 I missed Jon Baptiste right there.
Same!
Alpaca bowl for you Stephen. You make me laugh.Thank you!❣️😅😂
I only vape 0.7g cartridges personally
@@lchaney I can't find vape that tastes good.Also, having to charge,and often complicates a simple luxury.🥰
Stephen has the biggest pulpit in the country and he's using it to maximum effect. Carry on my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done.
Shoutout to the audience member that shouted "Pen1s"! when he asked for a 5 letter word.
You mean the 12 yr old?.........
Imagine the episode of Storage Wars when the Mangerine doesn't pay his bill.
Gargog the flesh mangler, devourer of souls is actually just one of those disheveled Russian cats with death in their eyes
Hope she's ok. Welcome back. Maybe the guy Russia got in return will be caught again.
Or gets a taste of his own product.
Hopefully before he does any damage. Not a fair trade. He a arms dealer. He’s not small time… pretty much a terrorist.
I wish Stephen would talk about the rail workers.
Funny, I wish he would keel over
@@mrsog7468 That seems unnecessarily harsh.
"Tapping your Willie" means something entirely different, methinks, Stephen.
I'm kinda torn on the Brittney Griner story. A low offense crime for the exchange of the "Death Merchant." While Russia gave her hard time, WE in the United States have men and women incarcerated for the same offense. What about them?
I think all those people should absolutely be released too, but Russian prisons are notoriously dangerous and deadly places, and the abuse she would have faced from not only being American, but an unusually tall and masculine presenting gay woman would have been extreme in one of the most anti-LGBT countries on earth. It's quite likely she wouldn't even have survived 9 years in a penal colony. Who knows what kind of hell she's already been through. Our prisons are horrid places, but nothing like the conditions she would have been facing there.
Can someone tell me WHY I'm supposed to be glad that a dangerous international criminal has been swapped for a spoiled, entitled prima donna who was too STUPID to bother to check her luggage for drugs before she went to a totalitarian country? One law for us and another for the sports princess and I'm SICK of it. I don't give a D*MN about Britrtany Griner.
You're not "kinda torn." You disapprove, and the issue is not who else is in prison. It's that your president liberated a man who is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people. I am stunned that ANYONE thinks this is OK.
@@CJ-oq6xs Awww poor delicate Brittney. Maybe if she didn't want to go to prison she shouldn't have the broken the law.
But I realize that Democrats are all pro-crime.
That man would have finished serving his time in about 2 years and gone back to Russia anyway. This way a woman who might have died in a Gulag was returned for someone Putin was going to get soon enough no matter what.
Now I'm just waiting for Trump to say that he's never even met Cronkin, didn't know who she was or that she was at Mar-A-Lago, and that she just happened to stand next to him while he was doing a thumbs-up for the camera.
Get to da choppa! Stephen's chest choppa! 😂
The problem with old 45's team turning over 2 more documents is that the National Archives probably has a pretty good idea of what is missing
Until the National Archive comes out and says, 'Yes, we now believe that he has returned everything', the only thing we can assume is that he has more
The classified material is his insurance policy in case they try to send him to prison
Yet, it may end up being the thing that actually sends him to prison
Take it to Guantanamo and make it talk. For national security.
I don't think Trump will ever be arrested. Let's just accept this fact.