"She asks about my appetite, well no I haven't been eating but he likes me skinny, makes it easier for him to be big spoon, it's like I disappear in him, his body swallows mine." I have never heard someone articulate this aspect of depression so well... or depression as a whole for that matter. Brilliant.
I watched his poem "21" so many times i can recite the words. There is nothing i want more on this earth is to see this poor man happy. God he deserves to feel anything but sadness, hes been through SO MUCH. May god bless him. Im praying for you Patrick🙏
Every Thursday, I go to couples therapy with my depression. He whispers in my ear to stay in bed for another day, presses his palm to my chest, afraid I'm going to escape the covers. After I scrape myself out of the shower, I still smell like him. Like midnight panic attacks, Like first name basis with the CVS pharmacists, like I'm not hungry I already had a rice krispies treat today. Our sessions with our therapists are fifty minutes. We spend that time re stating the same issues to her. We've been on again of again, since high school but this time its been a solid year that's gotta mean it's getting serious. She asks about my appetite, well no I haven't been eating but he likes me skinny. Makes it easier for him to be big spoon, its like I disappear in him, like his body swallows mine. She asks if I've done anything with my friends lately. Not in a while we usually stay in. My friends are the third wheel, if we're out together. That's what happens when you've been with someone so long. She asks if anything has changed since I started with the Zoloft, he digs his nails in the chair grits his teeth. She asks me again, he gets jealous but Zoloft treats me well, takes me to breakfast in the morning, feeds me french toast. He got mad though, something like cheating on him. Threatened to take out the scissors so I threatened to see Zoloft even more, all of them, all at once. I almost did. She asks if that was the night my friend to me to the health center. Well yeah, but it was just one time and the nurse said no visitors, took Zoloft away from me. So we got to spend some quality time as a couple again. Our therapist thinks I'm only with him because my father called my mother a whore, or because I still sometimes wish I were straight or because I've never had a serious love life. She doesn't understand this is the most serious relationship I've ever had. She says times up come back next week, he mutters fine under my breathe, slams the door on our way out. Our therapist said that there have been improvements over the past few weeks. That he and I will probably always be together but that I'll be more independent soon. Lately, I've started thinking more about that. Mornings, when I wake up hungry, my body remembers how to leave the mattress on its own. Feels his arms shrink from my waist for a few hours so I can; finish a poem, watch parks and rec, eat a sandwich, make the bed without crawling back in even when he says that without him I would be a gutted house scraped clean creaking and caving in. Sometimes I still think he's right. But last week I stepped on the scale and gained three pounds. It's only three pounds but its all me. It's all me.
This is the best way I've heard depression expressed, he personified it and described it so eloquently. I struggle with depression and it's a day to day thing, sometimes you feel like getting out the bed and other days you don't.
trawling youtube like some psychotic creep and watching these poetry videos and then i stumble upon this little gem. absolutely, fucking fantastic! so intelligent.
Patrick is honestly a genius. The thing about his poems is that when he recites them it feels as if you're feeling exactly what he is. Love him so much.
My doctor recently asked me what is "her" name. Although I knew what he meant, it was a topic avoided either because I didn't want to really believe it or I had grown accustomed to her. She is the rage, the blackout drunk, the cutter, the mad hatter deep in my rabbit hole. I thought for a minute and I said her name is "Red", after the Fraggel Rock character. Red was the wild one, with her hair a mess, the spontaneous rebel always getting herself in a jam, of sorts. She has always lived with me. She is me. Patrick's honest brilliance is the silver lining in my touch of grey.
Patrick as a writer I feel that the only way to deal with your personal experiences is to find a form of creativity that makes you smile. When I saw these RUclips poetry posts I was able to feel your raw emotions displayed. The way you connected with your audience was shear magic! Keep performing, do what you need to do to continue to create beauty!💗
I love this guy so much. I watch all his poem videos and this one hit me the hardest. I can absolutely and completely relate to this. The midnight panic attacks, and having depression. This is just spot-on.
This is the most beautifully written, spot on personification I have ever heard. It actually made me tear up a little, it is the best description of living with depression anyone could come up with.
Wow... the metaphor of Depression being your partner and therapy being "couples therapy" is so powerful. As someone with depression, I am blown away. I'm going to be thinking about this poem for the rest of my life.
Patrick's poems have been been extremely amazing and very inspiring. His poem just really make me think, and somehow it just.. it just really makes me speechless. I hope one day I can write poetry as well as he does, but still, he'll still be just a bit better.
Patrick, you describe something that I always found indescribable so well. Thank you for this. When I was overcoming my battle with depression, it was such an epiphany to realize that what I was experiencing wasn't really me. Each person experiences depression differently, but I think you made it much easier to relate to the similarities of different people's experiences, as well as making it a little easier to understand for those who don't know what it's like. Thank you for this poem.
When my dad found out I had been cutting myself. He said it wasn't me, it was a demon inside me. I didn't know what to say. It hurt so bad. But that's been two years now I think. God is good.
***** Because it's their choice to do it. It doesn't matter if you're religious or not. YOu have the choice to do whatever you want with your body. God isn't gonna take over your body and make you not make bad choices. YOu have to make bad choices to learn from them. That's the way life is.
Or, there is no god and your theory still follows, YOU have to take responsibility for your actions. No god, no spirituality or devil to blame it on, just you and the world....
***** Maybe that is your view of Christianity but that isn't the point of the religion. You don't "do you" if you have to follow rules you don't set and have no good reason to be beholden to.
+Miranda Renee if i myself had lowlife emo kid who would cut his/her wrists i would wish that imbecile to die fast, so your father is normal person and knows how important is survival of fittest, nothing cruel about it.
This is the best description of depression that I have ever seen. It's so plainly written that I hope that people who have never experienced depression might be able to get a glimpse, however small, into that world and what it is like on a daily basis.
I love this! I've always seen my depression as a toxic relationship that I am permanently stuck in. And just to hear it put in words the perfect way was just so relieving. Thank you so much for that awesome poem
This is the most beautiful and amazingly accurate poem i have ever heard. I'm taking this into school to discuss cuz we're doing a drama piece on depression. It's so incredibly honest and clever, i've had to watch it over and over.
This is exactly how I feel about my severe depression, which is like he said, the longest relationship I've ever had. I hate going to therapy, so I quit. One thing about Patrick, he always leaves me with chills. They start at the top of my body and go all the way down my legs, at the end, of each of his poems.
I feel like I literally could have wrote this (I couldn't have Patrick has a voice unlike any I've seen and his poems are unique and evocative, he's wonderful) because this describes my struggle pretty much to a T! Sometimes I feel like people don't understand what it's like to live with depression even after I saw a therapist and "got better" people forget that it's an ongoing relationship, a "on again off again" relationship. Thank you Patrick. (It's weird saying that to someone my own age) but thank you. You are an inspiration to me as a poet, writer and a person.
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"She asks about my appetite, well no I haven't been eating but he likes me skinny, makes it easier for him to be big spoon, it's like I disappear in him, his body swallows mine." I have never heard someone articulate this aspect of depression so well... or depression as a whole for that matter. Brilliant.
I watched his poem "21" so many times i can recite the words. There is nothing i want more on this earth is to see this poor man happy. God he deserves to feel anything but sadness, hes been through SO MUCH. May god bless him. Im praying for you Patrick🙏
Oh my god, I love 21. His poems are all wonderful; he deserves such a great life.
I listened to "siri" a while ago, equally as heart breaking. If i ever met Patrick i would probably cry for him and give him the longest hug ever.
He is just amazing!! 21 is perfect, I know all the lines. He deserves a beautiful, great life. :)
Brittany Isaac I know, I really want to show him that he's loved.
"She doesn't realize, this is the most serious relationship I've ever had" I cried...
I read this comment exactly at the moment this sentence was said 🤯
Patrick Roche is a gift to the poetry world
I completely agree, and I love your profile picture!
Nyla M we got the same name cool
This just became one of my favorite poems on here, holy wow.
Every Thursday, I go to couples therapy with my depression. He whispers in my ear to stay in bed for another day, presses his palm to my chest, afraid I'm going to escape the covers. After I scrape myself out of the shower, I still smell like him. Like midnight panic attacks, Like first name basis with the CVS pharmacists, like I'm not hungry I already had a rice krispies treat today.
Our sessions with our therapists are fifty minutes. We spend that time re stating the same issues to her. We've been on again of again, since high school but this time its been a solid year that's gotta mean it's getting serious. She asks about my appetite, well no I haven't been eating but he likes me skinny. Makes it easier for him to be big spoon, its like I disappear in him, like his body swallows mine.
She asks if I've done anything with my friends lately. Not in a while we usually stay in. My friends are the third wheel, if we're out together. That's what happens when you've been with someone so long. She asks if anything has changed since I started with the Zoloft, he digs his nails in the chair grits his teeth. She asks me again, he gets jealous but Zoloft treats me well, takes me to breakfast in the morning, feeds me french toast. He got mad though, something like cheating on him. Threatened to take out the scissors so I threatened to see Zoloft even more, all of them, all at once. I almost did.
She asks if that was the night my friend to me to the health center. Well yeah, but it was just one time and the nurse said no visitors, took Zoloft away from me. So we got to spend some quality time as a couple again. Our therapist thinks I'm only with him because my father called my mother a whore, or because I still sometimes wish I were straight or because I've never had a serious love life. She doesn't understand this is the most serious relationship I've ever had. She says times up come back next week, he mutters fine under my breathe, slams the door on our way out.
Our therapist said that there have been improvements over the past few weeks. That he and I will probably always be together but that I'll be more independent soon. Lately, I've started thinking more about that. Mornings, when I wake up hungry, my body remembers how to leave the mattress on its own. Feels his arms shrink from my waist for a few hours so I can; finish a poem, watch parks and rec, eat a sandwich, make the bed without crawling back in even when he says that without him I would be a gutted house scraped clean creaking and caving in.
Sometimes I still think he's right. But last week I stepped on the scale and gained three pounds. It's only three pounds but its all me. It's all me.
thank you
THANK YOU❤️
oh my god, thank you so much. i thought i was going to have to transcribe it myself.
Many thanks.
Did anyone hear the siren in the background? Intentional or not, it was extremely appropriate and eerie. Brilliant poem. brilliant poet.
I thought it was just me hearing it. Or it was at my house. Hard to not imagine it's not just the panic in our own space.
No one has ever made me able to understand my own disorder as much as this. Thank you, Patrick.
"21" and "Siri: A Coping Mechanism" really got me. Now this. He is one of my favorites.
I always want to cry and hug him after listening to his work.
You're so talented and seem like such an amazing man, Patrick.
Best metaphor of all time
Every time Patrick Roche comes out with another poem, I know I am in for a treat. His talent is incredible.
"He mutters fine under my breath.." I'm crying
madison schlueb I'm confused
This is the best way I've heard depression expressed, he personified it and described it so eloquently. I struggle with depression and it's a day to day thing, sometimes you feel like getting out the bed and other days you don't.
trawling youtube like some psychotic creep and watching these poetry videos and then i stumble upon this little gem. absolutely, fucking fantastic! so intelligent.
Jesus... this is literally one of the best poems I’ve ever heard (and I listen to a LOT of poems)!
Patrick is honestly a genius. The thing about his poems is that when he recites them it feels as if you're feeling exactly what he is. Love him so much.
My doctor recently asked me what is "her" name. Although I knew what he meant, it was a topic avoided either because I didn't want to really believe it or I had grown accustomed to her. She is the rage, the blackout drunk, the cutter, the mad hatter deep in my rabbit hole. I thought for a minute and I said her name is "Red", after the Fraggel Rock character. Red was the wild one, with her hair a mess, the spontaneous rebel always getting herself in a jam, of sorts. She has always lived with me. She is me.
Patrick's honest brilliance is the silver lining in my touch of grey.
Patrick as a writer I feel that the only way to deal with your personal experiences is to find a form of creativity that makes you smile. When I saw these RUclips poetry posts I was able to feel your raw emotions displayed. The way you connected with your audience was shear magic! Keep performing, do what you need to do to continue to create beauty!💗
Beautifully expressed. I hope he gets well soon. My prayers for you Patrick.
"He mutters 'fine' under my breath".... Chills.
i met him at ill list 11 and he's one of most sweetest people to walk this earth
This dude is one of my all time favorite poets
There needs to be more than the 5 video's of him!!! He's so amazing and I can't stop myself from crying when I hear his poetry.
Patrick is very quickly becoming my favorite poet, all of his poems give me chills...
I've never been so sad to know that someone knows how I feel. Beautiful poem. xxx
Been on a Patrick Roche Poetry marathon. All of his poems are so emotional and amazing.
Wow he talks of having depression like being in an abusive relationship this poem is incredible.
Every time. This honesty pokes one through the heart and leaves nothing but silence and shivers.
This kid has a lions heart.
this kid is a beautiful creature and god im so in love with his poems.
That boy gives me feels I never thought I'd get. Dang, there's a special place in my heart for you.
Every time I hear any of his poems an electric jolt just flies though my body.
wise beyond his years
Bless your kind heart
I love this guy so much. I watch all his poem videos and this one hit me the hardest. I can absolutely and completely relate to this. The midnight panic attacks, and having depression. This is just spot-on.
This is the most beautifully written, spot on personification I have ever heard. It actually made me tear up a little, it is the best description of living with depression anyone could come up with.
This is mad creative. The pauses, the break in his voice, the storytelling, the thought process behind the piece; all of it!
i am just finding this poem, this video, today. this is stunning. i love his poetry so much
Patrick Roche u r so talented and i'm so proud of you for doing this. ily
Wow... the metaphor of Depression being your partner and therapy being "couples therapy" is so powerful. As someone with depression, I am blown away. I'm going to be thinking about this poem for the rest of my life.
This explains everything! Everything I went through with my depression. I thank this man for putting it into words for the rest of us.
Patrick's poems have been been extremely amazing and very inspiring. His poem just really make me think, and somehow it just.. it just really makes me speechless. I hope one day I can write poetry as well as he does, but still, he'll still be just a bit better.
Patrick, you describe something that I always found indescribable so well. Thank you for this. When I was overcoming my battle with depression, it was such an epiphany to realize that what I was experiencing wasn't really me. Each person experiences depression differently, but I think you made it much easier to relate to the similarities of different people's experiences, as well as making it a little easier to understand for those who don't know what it's like. Thank you for this poem.
When my dad found out I had been cutting myself. He said it wasn't me, it was a demon inside me. I didn't know what to say. It hurt so bad. But that's been two years now I think. God is good.
***** Because it's their choice to do it. It doesn't matter if you're religious or not. YOu have the choice to do whatever you want with your body. God isn't gonna take over your body and make you not make bad choices. YOu have to make bad choices to learn from them. That's the way life is.
Or, there is no god and your theory still follows, YOU have to take responsibility for your actions. No god, no spirituality or devil to blame it on, just you and the world....
Wll yeah, but that's like the whole thing with Christianity. You do you, and play by the rules, and then God decides.
***** Maybe that is your view of Christianity but that isn't the point of the religion. You don't "do you" if you have to follow rules you don't set and have no good reason to be beholden to.
+Miranda Renee if i myself had lowlife emo kid who would cut his/her wrists i would wish that imbecile to die fast, so your father is normal person and knows how important is survival of fittest, nothing cruel about it.
I literally love all if your poems!
Patrick Roche, I am officially a huge fan. You're incredibly talented. Please stay strong. Your poems help me feel strong.
by far one of the best poems I have ever heard. simply amazing
This is the best description of depression that I have ever seen. It's so plainly written that I hope that people who have never experienced depression might be able to get a glimpse, however small, into that world and what it is like on a daily basis.
poems like this help me keep going sometimes, thank you
sobbed at the end. this is beautiful, thankyou.
yes. so much yes. i love this, words cannot explain how beautiful this poem is.
Seriously powerful. Tears are streaming down my face.
The sirens in the background add to this somehow. Such a great poem
HOLY CRAP I FOUND MYSELF WITH MY JAW ON THE FLOOR SO MANY TIMES?? THIS IS ONE OF HIS BEST ONES
definitely one of my favorite poets.
I love this! I've always seen my depression as a toxic relationship that I am permanently stuck in. And just to hear it put in words the perfect way was just so relieving. Thank you so much for that awesome poem
This is my favorite poet on this youtube channel. Amazing.
Wow. this is the most honest, most accurate, amazingly written poem I have ever heard!!
I always love his poems
it is unreal how much i relate to this poem. beatiful and powerful
God. As a person with depression, I want to give this guy a hug. This poem is touching and I love the metaphor.
So now I am crying actual tears...
god i love him so much
this was so incredibly heartbreaking and extremely well written wow wow i really hope the author of this poem learned to be happy again i really do
This is the most beautiful and amazingly accurate poem i have ever heard. I'm taking this into school to discuss cuz we're doing a drama piece on depression. It's so incredibly honest and clever, i've had to watch it over and over.
Let's all pray for this soul. Damn, his poems fill me up.
I used this for my very first open mic and it was absolutely amazing
i'm actually crying this is so relatable
I have no words to describe the beauty of this perfectly written piece of art! :)
This is beautiful. He's amazing.
This hit me like a truck, wow...so relevant to my life and constant battle with my depression and anxiety disorder. Beautiful, wonderful poem.
This is so beautiful, wow the chills
I love the message in this poem so much..
All of his poems are so moving , you litterally could feel evrey damn word .
You always make me cry
i'm crying, like legit this speaks to me on so many levels
love this...beautiful way of describing depression
This is exactly how I feel about my severe depression, which is like he said, the longest relationship I've ever had. I hate going to therapy, so I quit. One thing about Patrick, he always leaves me with chills. They start at the top of my body and go all the way down my legs, at the end, of each of his poems.
I would just like to hug this lovely man.
I absolutely love everything about this!!
"You can't breathe, so you write."
-Ernest Hemingway.
"This is the most serious relationship I've ever had." So heartbreaking how easily I relate to that statement.
I feel like I literally could have wrote this (I couldn't have Patrick has a voice unlike any I've seen and his poems are unique and evocative, he's wonderful) because this describes my struggle pretty much to a T! Sometimes I feel like people don't understand what it's like to live with depression even after I saw a therapist and "got better" people forget that it's an ongoing relationship, a "on again off again" relationship. Thank you Patrick. (It's weird saying that to someone my own age) but thank you. You are an inspiration to me as a poet, writer and a person.
wow...his was so powerful and brilliant
Patrick makes you feel like you can connect with something you thought you could never truly understand
This was so powerful and really really well shows how living with a depression can actually be living *with* a depression.
Depression depicted as an abusive lover...
This is one of my favorite poems
He really knows how to start and finish a poem.
I love his delivery.
So deep. So good.
Intense, and incredible.
This is seriously so amazing, I love the whole poem.
he spoke right into my soul
Aaand I'm in tears.
Simply amazing I love his work
Thank you, I can't say you helped me. But it did make me smile just to know I'm not alone. Thank you.
A reminder that every gain is a gain. You're doing well. I'm proud of you!
This was amazing! I'd never be able do describe anything as well or even half as well as he did here. Amazing
patrick is my favorite poet *ever*