Your videos are very soothing and relatable! 22:12 reminds me of how my parents often told me to stop rocking or moving around when I was young. I understand why they did it, they also have their own sensory needs and were just irritated by the ruckus. These days we coexist in harmony, better late than never!
Giving myself permission to not make eye contact was really had, but it is such a relief now that I've gotten more comfortable with it. I was always told "look at me when I'm talking to you." Also the bluntness I used to tell new people that I'm very blunt and people either love it or hate it, but be aware. That way I just pulled off the bandaid.
I am mind blown! Eye Contact! I was forced to look my elders in the eye! All you share is making me cry! Video after video, you are describing Me! I thought it was all me…. All that is wrong with me. I never knew there were actual diagnoses for all of my “oddness”. They have all called me “odd” all of my Life…. 67 years. Thank you so very much…..
I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about the thing where Autistic people have gotten so indoctrinated into NT style of communication, and I agree, it’s one of the hardest things to navigate. I relate to a lot of what you said in this video. The stuff about managing other people’s emotions as well as your own and from a young age is very pertinent. Thanks Amanda ❤
hey just to let you know, I hadnt even noticed the pj's...:D....not that it matters anyways but thought maybe that would ease your mind...shrug, didnt even notice.
It's not that I care, I only brought it up to talk about how I'm learning how to manage my energy these days. Masked Amanda would NEVER show up in PJs because it wasn't socially acceptable. 😂
Wow! You are speaking my story! Thank you so much for articulating this. I never realized I can give myself permission to be my autistic self! Thank you so much for your insights!
This is one of the biggest challenges in letting go of masking. You may not be accepted as much by a lot of people, but if you meet someone unmasked or being themselves, it’s like winning the lottery. It’s something that can also be linked to privilege. I don’t know if I could have afforded to unmask when I was younger (if I had the knowledge I do now) because I was desperate to get a good job and become financially independent.
Thank you for this. You put into words some thoughts I have mulling through. Am dealing with the idea of mask profiles. A bit short of a year since I realized who I am. Unmasking was necessary but it sure does cost in places where the mask was needed. Work is one of those.
You may find learning how to rumble your ears to be handy as well - the first stage of a yawn when your throat and ears open, but learning to just flex the ears
I am 56 year-old Woman I just found out a week ago that I have autism level 2 severe Which makes my My childhood and the rest of my life Make a lot more sense Why everything was so hard for me And for all the crap I put up with As an As an undiagnosed Child I do wish I would have known about this a lot sooner I really do recommend getting tested If you think that you might have autism It definitely make Understanding Why things happen why they do
I was diagnosed with level 2 autism. We are actually medium. I got diagnosed at age 47. They didn't diagnose people when we were young unless you couldn't talk.
From title alone I read, and think I need a translator from neurotypical to autistic communications since there are vast differences. I wish there was certification for someone to speak for me to the typicals so I can get good entertainment and food without the confusion of NT chattering that I miss seeing/knowing. Assigning to me a PoA is asking for too much domination over me, but I haven't better at this time because I need certification that currently doesn't exist to help me just simply exist as myself without suffering. But I got an autistic friend who is going though college and could help get the certification I need.
My thoughts at 4:35 Since 2009, I have been unable to fit into "the box" because I had been brute forcing myself to hold still since I was abused age two for being abnormal, born in 1977... We really need acceptance, because I'm so traumatized, I am being threatend with being locked up for just being "weird" to the normals out there. I cant keep my voice down to save my life and them normals are so terrified, they got cops and adult health services after me and forced inspections to make sure I am "behaving" and they have "concerns" that are truly terrifying to me to be forced into that box when I can KEEP MYSELF ALIVE if I didnt have to do all that neurotypical coddling and catering to.... and I just mentally cant be that THING they want me to be. I MUST be autistic, regardless of them NTs seeming to HATE me for existing. Their "Concerns" were NOT clarified. I worry their "concerns" have something to do with them being NT and them not liking my autism... but I dont know. They would not specificy, so some authority required an inspection to my OWN HOME... and I'm terrified they would want to lock me up if they dont like my lifestyle. The inspection is in two days or less. I dont know where on the NT spectrum they are. I might be ok, I might be locked up, I dont know. What the NT think... can nurture ... or destroy my life.
Maybe you and I could get along but I feel weird saying this outloud on a public feed, I wish to be respectful to you as an individual... I feel the dogs in the background would bother me too much. Sudden noise freaks me out (EG barks). However, the clicking in the magnets is pretty awesome and I like those magnet clicks. My mom did not let me make noises when I was a kid. I could have been a voice actress for a living but mom never let me practice. This video is a bit... AGH DOG BARKS. I feel a warning for dog barks would be needed if I didnt wanna feel too selfish for my needs.
20:34 Huh, yeah me too. I have so much to say but I dont wanna upset people who dont like me talking so much. I dont expect anyone to read what I have to say, I feel like I just gotta get it out in case something I feel could help someone, maybe even help me... over time etting the NT to accept autism is not going to happen in the snap of fingers because too many are so stubbron set in their ways, and cant seem to fathom I would much prefer a different lifestyle than them. You and I both worry too much about other people. I have listend all the way and I pause to have a break for some gaming. I like so much of your thoughts and perspectives and I strongly relate... Tho I have a major problem with dogs barking. I dont hate dogs. It's the bark my body jumps and that hurts me. I'm trying to move to a place where there wont be dogs, because I dont feel my body can keep taking these jumps without taking off years of my life from the strain. I dont know how people become oblivious to the sudden ear harassment from barking, as if they dont hear the barks, and I cant NOT hear whatever reaches my ears. My ability to pretend to be Nt is not strong enoguh anymore. I have grown weak and I have become so incapable of pretending that I find myelf in mega shutdowns where I am unconscious for several days at a time. Days, not a joke. I lose DAYS of memories and consciousness. Because I am tring to tolerate the chaotic world around me. I pass out. I get hospitalized. Fed with IV. I come back to contol days later, and I get told I was "hostile". When I was unconscious, I was hostile! I need to not be put into such overhwlem but the NT world just is not stopping it's pressure of noises I passed out TWICE this year, VERY scary for me. And the witnesses dont seem to recognize, I'm not home. They put me into places that make the shutdown last LONGER. Now I am being threatened with being RE-homed because I was unconscious twice this year. 9 lost days across two different severe shutdowns. and I cant get the pressure of the NT to get out of my life, they are so invasive! I dont feel there is anything you can do. I'm stuck in an NT world I never asked for. And I have so much pressure inside me screaming to get out. Pressure put into me by the NT world demanding I "behave". As they fail to recognize, how I need to be. I'm Tired. I trauma dumped. I dont require responses. Maybe someone somewhere someday could read this and realize, 'Damn, these autistics were right all along, we shoulda listend to them, instead of locking them up.'
As your learning and sort of reorienting your autistic brain you have used the various behaviors that you use to mask as being extreme for you and so you are trying not to do it anymore or at least to be more your authentic autistic self...shrug...(If I understood correctly) but isnt there somewhere in between...like clicking is super distracting in a classroom but can help a kid relax ...isnt there something in between, like maybe a quiet fidget of some kind in order to allow all the others in the class who are NT and super distracted by the clicking to be also respected?... Im not saying one is more worthy than the other...Im honestly trying to figure out how to offer an environment that can work for both ends and all the in betweens of this crazy spectrum of Neuro behaviors. boy, I hope that made sense.
Yeah, I think so too. I’m trying to start to use stimming for myself, I think I really need to. I’ve never really done it before. I don’t want to tell my daughter that her singing and verbal stims are super annoying, “can you please stop because I need peace and quiet?”. I try to make space for her to stim, and I put on my earbuds instead. But even that is sensitive, how do I do this without making my nearest and dearest think and feel that I’m trying to shut them out? It’s really hard to finally start stimming because of this, but I do realize that we need to stim, both me and my youngest. I think we need to have a conversation about this at home ❤
Pronouns are part of English language. Everyone uses pronouns. Your comment has a pronoun in it. "You" is a pronoun. So I use pronouns, and you use pronouns. Am I really having this conversation? 🤔
It’s something people can introduce themselves with so that others know how they want to be referred as. Even as a cisgender woman, I was plain little kid and it hurt my feelings to be misgendered as a boy. Some other people are aware that their gender identity may not be immediately evident because they present in a way that many people don’t associate with their gender. When someone introduces their pronouns, it’s like saying “I value this connection or community, so I want to share something that I think you need to know so I can feel safe here and participate here.”
Your videos are very soothing and relatable! 22:12 reminds me of how my parents often told me to stop rocking or moving around when I was young. I understand why they did it, they also have their own sensory needs and were just irritated by the ruckus. These days we coexist in harmony, better late than never!
Giving myself permission to not make eye contact was really had, but it is such a relief now that I've gotten more comfortable with it. I was always told "look at me when I'm talking to you."
Also the bluntness I used to tell new people that I'm very blunt and people either love it or hate it, but be aware. That way I just pulled off the bandaid.
I am mind blown! Eye Contact! I was forced to look my elders in the eye! All you share is making me cry! Video after video, you are describing Me! I thought it was all me…. All that is wrong with me. I never knew there were actual diagnoses for all of my “oddness”. They have all called me “odd” all of my Life…. 67 years. Thank you so very much…..
❤️ So many of us have gone a life time being misunderstood. But now we have found each other.
Thank you for adding that in there! That’s me, too! 😊
I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about the thing where Autistic people have gotten so indoctrinated into NT style of communication, and I agree, it’s one of the hardest things to navigate. I relate to a lot of what you said in this video. The stuff about managing other people’s emotions as well as your own and from a young age is very pertinent. Thanks Amanda ❤
I want to go in more depth on this topic too, glad you liked it.
Thanks Amanda your video are really helping me to unmask, understand my RSD and helping me to accommodate my needs
I'm so glad to hear this! Really! Makes my day. Thank you for commenting. ❤️❤️❤️
hey just to let you know, I hadnt even noticed the pj's...:D....not that it matters anyways but thought maybe that would ease your mind...shrug, didnt even notice.
It's not that I care, I only brought it up to talk about how I'm learning how to manage my energy these days. Masked Amanda would NEVER show up in PJs because it wasn't socially acceptable. 😂
Love how open you are about your journey. ❤ keep being your authentic self.
Wow! You are speaking my story! Thank you so much for articulating this. I never realized I can give myself permission to be my autistic self! Thank you so much for your insights!
Love this! ❤️
I like your backyard.
Thank you! 😊
Thank you Amanda. A great, very relatable video
I'm glad you liked it. 😊❤️
i have the EXACT same problem with the uneven friendships and connections based on what day it is and it is horrid
Thank you! Will listen to this again right away just to get all the important details.
This is one of the biggest challenges in letting go of masking. You may not be accepted as much by a lot of people, but if you meet someone unmasked or being themselves, it’s like winning the lottery. It’s something that can also be linked to privilege. I don’t know if I could have afforded to unmask when I was younger (if I had the knowledge I do now) because I was desperate to get a good job and become financially independent.
Thank you for sharing ✌🏽💖🤟🏽✨️🧚♂️
whatever it is you are doing to stim is somehow resonating with me the rhythmic sound is soothing it's like you're stimming for ~~me~~ the both of us
That's kinda cool!
Hey thank you for the explanation of how the Amazon affiliate link works. I've always wondered but never knew where to ask. ❤
Sure thing!
Amazing video as always. It is hard to word these things but you do a great job! Thank you:))
Thank you for your confidence 😊
Thanks for your incite.
I always happy to help.
Thank you for this. You put into words some thoughts I have mulling through. Am dealing with the idea of mask profiles. A bit short of a year since I realized who I am. Unmasking was necessary but it sure does cost in places where the mask was needed. Work is one of those.
I hear you
❤
I need quiet but if I am somewhere noisy I hum. The humming counteracts the noise somehow. I hum quietly though do no one else hears.
You may find learning how to rumble your ears to be handy as well - the first stage of a yawn when your throat and ears open, but learning to just flex the ears
@@BliffleSplick I can do that but not for a long time.
I think in Hit Points rather then Spoons.
That makes sense!
I am 56 year-old Woman I just found out a week ago that I have autism level 2 severe Which makes my My childhood and the rest of my life Make a lot more sense Why everything was so hard for me And for all the crap I put up with As an As an undiagnosed Child I do wish I would have known about this a lot sooner I really do recommend getting tested If you think that you might have autism It definitely make Understanding Why things happen why they do
I was diagnosed with level 2 autism. We are actually medium. I got diagnosed at age 47. They didn't diagnose people when we were young unless you couldn't talk.
We have medium support needs.
@@Catlily5 it says on my diagnosis level 2 requiring substantial support needs
From title alone I read, and think I need a translator from neurotypical to autistic communications since there are vast differences. I wish there was certification for someone to speak for me to the typicals so I can get good entertainment and food without the confusion of NT chattering that I miss seeing/knowing. Assigning to me a PoA is asking for too much domination over me, but I haven't better at this time because I need certification that currently doesn't exist to help me just simply exist as myself without suffering.
But I got an autistic friend who is going though college and could help get the certification I need.
I need to fidget.
AGH! Dog barking triggers my anxiety.
Forcing me to be not autistic is painful.
My thoughts at 4:35
Since 2009, I have been unable to fit into "the box" because I had been brute forcing myself to hold still since I was abused age two for being abnormal, born in 1977... We really need acceptance, because I'm so traumatized, I am being threatend with being locked up for just being "weird" to the normals out there.
I cant keep my voice down to save my life and them normals are so terrified, they got cops and adult health services after me and forced inspections to make sure I am "behaving" and they have "concerns" that are truly terrifying to me to be forced into that box when I can KEEP MYSELF ALIVE if I didnt have to do all that neurotypical coddling and catering to.... and I just mentally cant be that THING they want me to be.
I MUST be autistic, regardless of them NTs seeming to HATE me for existing.
Their "Concerns" were NOT clarified.
I worry their "concerns" have something to do with them being NT and them not liking my autism... but I dont know. They would not specificy, so some authority required an inspection to my OWN HOME... and I'm terrified they would want to lock me up if they dont like my lifestyle.
The inspection is in two days or less.
I dont know where on the NT spectrum they are.
I might be ok, I might be locked up, I dont know.
What the NT think... can nurture ... or destroy my life.
NT probably would not like to live like I do.
I dont like to live like an NT.
My best friends are autistic.
Maybe you and I could get along but I feel weird saying this outloud on a public feed, I wish to be respectful to you as an individual... I feel the dogs in the background would bother me too much. Sudden noise freaks me out (EG barks). However, the clicking in the magnets is pretty awesome and I like those magnet clicks. My mom did not let me make noises when I was a kid. I could have been a voice actress for a living but mom never let me practice.
This video is a bit... AGH DOG BARKS. I feel a warning for dog barks would be needed if I didnt wanna feel too selfish for my needs.
20:34 Huh, yeah me too. I have so much to say but I dont wanna upset people who dont like me talking so much. I dont expect anyone to read what I have to say, I feel like I just gotta get it out in case something I feel could help someone, maybe even help me... over time etting the NT to accept autism is not going to happen in the snap of fingers because too many are so stubbron set in their ways, and cant seem to fathom I would much prefer a different lifestyle than them.
You and I both worry too much about other people.
I have listend all the way and I pause to have a break for some gaming.
I like so much of your thoughts and perspectives and I strongly relate...
Tho I have a major problem with dogs barking.
I dont hate dogs.
It's the bark my body jumps and that hurts me.
I'm trying to move to a place where there wont be dogs, because I dont feel my body can keep taking these jumps without taking off years of my life from the strain.
I dont know how people become oblivious to the sudden ear harassment from barking, as if they dont hear the barks, and I cant NOT hear whatever reaches my ears.
My ability to pretend to be Nt is not strong enoguh anymore. I have grown weak and I have become so incapable of pretending that I find myelf in mega shutdowns where I am unconscious for several days at a time.
Days, not a joke. I lose DAYS of memories and consciousness.
Because I am tring to tolerate the chaotic world around me.
I pass out. I get hospitalized. Fed with IV.
I come back to contol days later, and I get told I was "hostile".
When I was unconscious, I was hostile! I need to not be put into such overhwlem but the NT world just is not stopping it's pressure of noises I passed out TWICE this year, VERY scary for me.
And the witnesses dont seem to recognize, I'm not home. They put me into places that make the shutdown last LONGER. Now I am being threatened with being RE-homed because I was unconscious twice this year.
9 lost days across two different severe shutdowns.
and I cant get the pressure of the NT to get out of my life, they are so invasive!
I dont feel there is anything you can do.
I'm stuck in an NT world I never asked for.
And I have so much pressure inside me screaming to get out.
Pressure put into me by the NT world demanding I "behave".
As they fail to recognize, how I need to be.
I'm Tired.
I trauma dumped.
I dont require responses.
Maybe someone somewhere someday could read this and realize, 'Damn, these autistics were right all along, we shoulda listend to them, instead of locking them up.'
As your learning and sort of reorienting your autistic brain you have used the various behaviors that you use to mask as being extreme for you and so you are trying not to do it anymore or at least to be more your authentic autistic self...shrug...(If I understood correctly) but isnt there somewhere in between...like clicking is super distracting in a classroom but can help a kid relax ...isnt there something in between, like maybe a quiet fidget of some kind in order to allow all the others in the class who are NT and super distracted by the clicking to be also respected?... Im not saying one is more worthy than the other...Im honestly trying to figure out how to offer an environment that can work for both ends and all the in betweens of this crazy spectrum of Neuro behaviors.
boy, I hope that made sense.
There is a balance. Like maybe in class silent stims only.
Yeah, I think so too. I’m trying to start to use stimming for myself, I think I really need to. I’ve never really done it before. I don’t want to tell my daughter that her singing and verbal stims are super annoying, “can you please stop because I need peace and quiet?”. I try to make space for her to stim, and I put on my earbuds instead. But even that is sensitive, how do I do this without making my nearest and dearest think and feel that I’m trying to shut them out? It’s really hard to finally start stimming because of this, but I do realize that we need to stim, both me and my youngest. I think we need to have a conversation about this at home ❤
Why do you use pronouns?
Pronouns are part of English language. Everyone uses pronouns. Your comment has a pronoun in it. "You" is a pronoun. So I use pronouns, and you use pronouns. Am I really having this conversation? 🤔
It’s something people can introduce themselves with so that others know how they want to be referred as. Even as a cisgender woman, I was plain little kid and it hurt my feelings to be misgendered as a boy. Some other people are aware that their gender identity may not be immediately evident because they present in a way that many people don’t associate with their gender.
When someone introduces their pronouns, it’s like saying “I value this connection or community, so I want to share something that I think you need to know so I can feel safe here and participate here.”