From Jocko Underground 81. Join Jocko Underground: www.jockounderground.com/subs... Join the conversation on Twitter/Instagram: @jockowillink @echocharles
This goes back to my short time as a car salesman I remember my finance manager telling me a piece of advice which was “if you are talking more than your customer you are on the wrong side of the deal”
Nah doesn't matter if you talk alot or whatever. If you're sharing something meaningful with the person, sometimes you need to talk alot to unpack what you're saying. Meaningful exchanges can happen if you're the one doing the sharing or not.
@@smokingcrab2290 in a very small percentage sure. mostly it’s of overlapping interesting interest, but that rest of the percentage people want to tell you about them much more than they want to hear about you. Just a fact. It’s a reason you learn active listening techniques as a way to gain more charisma than active talking techniques.
Listening to this 10 minute clip was time well spent. “The more you listen, the more you see.” I’m leaving here with that. -Much respect to you both. Thank you.
People LOVE talking about themselves, things they enjoy, and things they believe in. Giving them an opportunity to do so, while genuinely listening and reaching for understanding is how to earn their trust and confidence in you.
This is what my dad taught me as a young age as I noticed he didn’t make much eye contact. I asked him, why don’t you really look at people in the eyes? “Because you don’t need eyes to listen son”. This had stayed with me my entire life which has allowed me to always be listening to my surroundings and pondering what others really tell me when speaking to me.
@@TheCynicalJay That's a good point. 😄I can see where it can go either way. I think it's disrespectful when someone isn't making eye contact when there is a level of connection that I feel needs to be established or maintained. On the other hand, I'm easily distracted by visual things, sometimes just the persons lips moving. So if I'm trying to just get a data dump I'll let them know that I'm staring at the floor or a stationary object (or even closing my eyes) so that I don't miss a single detail. But you definitely want to let them know and get that disclaimer out there or you will almost universally be considered rude.
The best dates I've had with girls, the best times I've had with friends, the best conversations I've had are the ones where I shut my mouth and let them talk. You wanna boost your social skills by 1000%? Just ask questions and listen.
I do agree with you but in reality, you need 2 people for conversation. Some people are just weird and quiet. I travel to work with one coworker so both of us save money on gas but most of our drive to work is quiet. I was the one always asking questions and after awhile got tired and said fuck it! If you don't want to talk, fine. I couldn't care less. We had nothing in common (except workplace) anyway...it take emotional intelligence of both people to engage in conversation, ask question, just like it takes two people to dance. Conversation is no different
@@matej9255 You're right brother, it takes two people for conversation, but most people just talk and talk and talk, never giving any chance for the other person to even say anything. It's all about balance
I have found almost no one stops and says, "Hey...and what about YOU? How are YOU doing? How do you do THAT? Tell me what's going on in YOUR life..." And the worst ones are those under age 40. Total social retards. Absolutely no interest or ability communicating. Except maybe texting to their tattooed friends/fellow freaks.
This is the popular advice, the problem is I am the quiet one. In group situations it is less noticeable but in 1 on 1 situations it becomes really awkward when im just listening and asking questions. I get the feeling that I'm some kind of spy or interrogator or that I'm phishing information
A good rule I learned was to talk only half as much as you just listen. That’s a good conversation if not you should find someone else to talk to. My best friend and I could pick up a conversation after months without missing a beat.
Personally, as a person, who's often described to be a good listener and teaches other persons the skill of listening... I have a hard time with people who just listen and are empathic... and that's it. If I want that, I go to a therapist or person centered counselor, not to a party. Yes, I want to be seen, for sure, but I also want to see. So for me, the best conversations are about 50/50.
I'm the exact same way, if someone is asking me questions and I give my thoughts on the matter, and then I ask that person the question and they're super short, that irritates me. I want to know their views! At the same time, if I ask someone a question and they go on and on, I usually enjoy listening to what they have to say. Each person is different in that regard and depends on the circumstance.
Remember that listening isn't just nodding your head and saying, "Yeah...ok...uh huh..." every once in a while. A real listener will pick out something they heard the person say that they found interesting and ask them a specific question about it or add something into the conversation about that thing. Good conversation has give and take, and both parties should leave with some piece of new knowledge they didn't have before they started talking.
00:58 🗣 Effective communication involves active listening, not just talking. 02:20 🧠 Listening allows for better understanding and absorption of information. 03:47 👂 Listening applies to various scenarios, including dealing with children and resolving conflicts with peers or superiors. 07:57 🤐 Talking excessively in a conversation may give a false impression of a successful interaction, while the other person may feel unheard and frustrated. 08:39 🤝 Showing empathy involves understanding and validating someone's feelings, especially in difficult situations. It requires genuine listening and providing support without imposing one's own perspective.
Mr. Willink could you make a poster with you in Iraq Ramadi? Please. I look up to you sir and I think it would make my room that much more cooler looking. BAUTISTAZURITA out.
It can help, talking towards others when on one's own. Argue things out, better than nothing. Hearing one's own voice, can be a self-therapy - help with things. When overwhelmed by a mob, it can help a person survive through impossible odds. Watch out about people listening, who should be minding their own business. (Work things out with your family too this way, hopefully 🤞)
THEY do not matter....YOUR goals DO. They are not considering you in their worldview, so why should you? Put them in their place. A stepstone. A flagstone. A useful idiot. They are not tribe, therfore...they do not matter.
A Fool takes no pleasure in understanding. But only in expressing his opinion fools have no interest in understanding. They only want to air their own opinions. Fools can have nothing for thoughtful discourse. All they do is run off. The mouth
I literally feel like I’m being water boarded anytime I encounter somebody who won’t stop talking.😭🥺😤 in my experience, it seems like around 80 to 90% of all people I encounter literally cannot shut up. It’s pathological and should be illegal. And most people are pathological interrupters too. My biggest pet peeve. 💀🤬🤬
I am a landscape designer. What do you do with a client that you have listened, and listened to, and you still can't wrap your head around what they actually want from you?
Had a geologist that I worked with at an environmental firm that would talk for at least 45 minutes every time you went in his office to ask a question. I would leave more confused. I found the best way to deal with him was to sketch up what I thought he wanted and wait for him to leave his office. I would drop off the drawing and go back to my desk. Before long he would come by with the drawing all marked up and a very specific conversation would ensue as to what he really wanted. I was never afraid to be wrong, I just wanted to find a path to the end in the most direct way possible. Just get something rough down on paper and they will tell you all about what's wrong with it, but you're moving forward.
@@DavidEdwards-kq7oithat reminds me of something Chris Voss talks about. Statements like "it sounds like you're saying..." Using endings that may or may not be correct. They want to correct the record so they'll give more information than if you ask for the information directly.
When people have taken wrong actions and they recognize that they screwed up or were given bad Intelligence by bad actors... It is not unreasonable and unrealistic that they would recognize mistakes and correct the situation with same vigor, efforts and resources... which typically are not even fully required to facilitate reversing the damage were possible and facilitating a better future environment and outcomes. Bailing out the not sunken ship saves more than just that one ship and crew... It creates a future with more ships... ... rather than more expenses and less ships and greater doubts regarding the way the ships have been handled. Loose lips sinks ships... but false intelligence loses fleets. So truths sometimes have to come out.
Cassie, this is my most favorite item you have ever unboxed. It’s beautiful and it actually is very handy to have a bag with your lip stuff and something for fresh breath on your special day. I had a bag 19 years ago for my wedding and my bridesmaids kept it for me when I wasn’t holding it. If a photo is snapped of you holding it the bag will look beautiful!!!! Also, $3,000 is very reasonable IMO. The craftsmanship is impeccable.
i failed at negotiation. FAILED. I'm a farmer, we plain speak, then we decide waht we need to do with the other guy. After divorce in family court, i LEARNED.. I read Jim Camp's "Start With NO" adn it taught me so much Then i learned about Chris Voss...and i learned. Now i talk a lot, brings their anxiety down. HOWEVER, what i am TALKING about has no value Bit of a snow job, but are they human anyway? Unsure. Act Accoringly.
Jocko and Echo, I know what you put on RUclips is not the whole podcast, but you didn't discussed the difference between monologue and dialogue. You probably know what each word mean and how frustrating when you've got these monologue human being in front of you not able to shut the fuck up. Duck tape is so useful sometimes ;)! You have a nice day!
This goes back to my short time as a car salesman I remember my finance manager telling me a piece of advice which was “if you are talking more than your customer you are on the wrong side of the deal”
As a kid helping my mom at her store, she used to tell the exact same thing. Sometimes, and I mean most times, all we gotta do is just stfu.
A lot of salesmen could take that advice.
I’m gonna remember this as a buyer. I’m gonna barely talk and see what I can get them to spill lol
Nah doesn't matter if you talk alot or whatever. If you're sharing something meaningful with the person, sometimes you need to talk alot to unpack what you're saying. Meaningful exchanges can happen if you're the one doing the sharing or not.
@@smokingcrab2290 in a very small percentage sure. mostly it’s of overlapping interesting interest, but that rest of the percentage people want to tell you about them much more than they want to hear about you. Just a fact. It’s a reason you learn active listening techniques as a way to gain more charisma than active talking techniques.
the quieter you become, the more you are able to hear
Listening to this 10 minute clip was time well spent. “The more you listen, the more you see.” I’m leaving here with that. -Much respect to you both. Thank you.
I like how Jocko talks 98% of the time in this video. Haha
Real
Plot twist he’s trying to teach you to be an active listener
It's the JOCKO Podcast, lol. Most of the 2nd half is Echo, though
People LOVE talking about themselves, things they enjoy, and things they believe in. Giving them an opportunity to do so, while genuinely listening and reaching for understanding is how to earn their trust and confidence in you.
This is what my dad taught me as a young age as I noticed he didn’t make much eye contact. I asked him, why don’t you really look at people in the eyes? “Because you don’t need eyes to listen son”. This had stayed with me my entire life which has allowed me to always be listening to my surroundings and pondering what others really tell me when speaking to me.
lol okay what happens when the person speaking thinks you're disrespectful 😂
Sounds like ol' pops was busy and humoring you
@@TheCynicalJay That's a good point. 😄I can see where it can go either way. I think it's disrespectful when someone isn't making eye contact when there is a level of connection that I feel needs to be established or maintained. On the other hand, I'm easily distracted by visual things, sometimes just the persons lips moving. So if I'm trying to just get a data dump I'll let them know that I'm staring at the floor or a stationary object (or even closing my eyes) so that I don't miss a single detail. But you definitely want to let them know and get that disclaimer out there or you will almost universally be considered rude.
The best dates I've had with girls, the best times I've had with friends, the best conversations I've had are the ones where I shut my mouth and let them talk.
You wanna boost your social skills by 1000%?
Just ask questions and listen.
I do agree with you but in reality, you need 2 people for conversation. Some people are just weird and quiet. I travel to work with one coworker so both of us save money on gas but most of our drive to work is quiet. I was the one always asking questions and after awhile got tired and said fuck it! If you don't want to talk, fine. I couldn't care less. We had nothing in common (except workplace) anyway...it take emotional intelligence of both people to engage in conversation, ask question, just like it takes two people to dance. Conversation is no different
@@matej9255 You're right brother, it takes two people for conversation, but most people just talk and talk and talk, never giving any chance for the other person to even say anything.
It's all about balance
This advice works only for extroverts.
I have found almost no one stops and says, "Hey...and what about YOU? How are YOU doing? How do you do THAT? Tell me what's going on in YOUR life..."
And the worst ones are those under age 40.
Total social retards.
Absolutely no interest or ability communicating. Except maybe texting to their tattooed friends/fellow freaks.
What kind of questions do you ask? How do you get good engagement while listening?
I always think of it this way: why would i disrespect myself by not giving close attention to whomever is influencing my life by their presence in it.
I love this!! It spoke to my spirit!! Let's get it done!!!
This is the popular advice, the problem is I am the quiet one. In group situations it is less noticeable but in 1 on 1 situations it becomes really awkward when im just listening and asking questions. I get the feeling that I'm some kind of spy or interrogator or that I'm phishing information
Bruh do shadow work, inner healing you have to dive inside, how is your relationship with yourself. Keywords: “SHADOW WORK” “INNER HEALING”
Honestly, I don't think other people really notice that. The more they talk, the more they tend to actually enjoy the conversation
Jocko, you, Sean Ryan, & Tim Kennedy have changed my life by listening to your wisdom. Thank all of you. And you too, Echo.
Those are some great mentions. Jocko has introduced me to many others as well. Mike Glover, Andy Stumpf for example
Tim is a coward who lies non stop and is not up to date with much
Sometimes i feel like i get sean ryan and then he goes on a streak of bringing on absolute nutjob liars and doesnt call them out on their BS…
“The more you listen, the more you see.” 🤯
New listener. Thank You for the podcast.
Give her a hug.
Appreciate all the wisdom you give to young guys.
For sure
Best advice right there
thank you for correcting me ..
A good rule I learned was to talk only half as much as you just listen. That’s a good conversation if not you should find someone else to talk to. My best friend and I could pick up a conversation after months without missing a beat.
Personally, as a person, who's often described to be a good listener and teaches other persons the skill of listening... I have a hard time with people who just listen and are empathic... and that's it. If I want that, I go to a therapist or person centered counselor, not to a party. Yes, I want to be seen, for sure, but I also want to see. So for me, the best conversations are about 50/50.
I'm the exact same way, if someone is asking me questions and I give my thoughts on the matter, and then I ask that person the question and they're super short, that irritates me. I want to know their views! At the same time, if I ask someone a question and they go on and on, I usually enjoy listening to what they have to say. Each person is different in that regard and depends on the circumstance.
I laughed so much when Jocko said "that study was conducted by the University of bro science" 🤣🤣
Remember that listening isn't just nodding your head and saying, "Yeah...ok...uh huh..." every once in a while. A real listener will pick out something they heard the person say that they found interesting and ask them a specific question about it or add something into the conversation about that thing. Good conversation has give and take, and both parties should leave with some piece of new knowledge they didn't have before they started talking.
Jocko’s voice just makes ya want to listen 💚
good advice.
Two people engaging each other. Each uses this technique.
Shortest conversation ever.
awesome facts
Also, hearing isn't the same as listening. Listening is active. Hearing is passive.
Agreed.
I'm sick of this conversation. Jocko never let's me get a word in😂
Echo Charles with the insane cameras
As a introvert who doesn't have much to say ( but still has a RUclips Channel 😅 ) i see this as a absolute win
Cool - I’m doing the most important part of this podcast. 💪
W conversation!
It’s funny because this how conversations between jocko and echo be.
I swear I hear these podcasts and think "I'm sorry, Jocko, I need to do better"
Listening to you kid I feel is just as important even a 5 year old
tactical talking!
00:58 🗣 Effective communication involves active listening, not just talking.
02:20 🧠 Listening allows for better understanding and absorption of information.
03:47 👂 Listening applies to various scenarios, including dealing with children and resolving conflicts with peers or superiors.
07:57 🤐 Talking excessively in a conversation may give a false impression of a successful interaction, while the other person may feel unheard and frustrated.
08:39 🤝 Showing empathy involves understanding and validating someone's feelings, especially in difficult situations. It requires genuine listening and providing support without imposing one's own perspective.
This needs to be pinned
98% of the people i listen to just talk 98% of the time. I see a world full of zombies, that can talk.
"Might"
🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐
Tell him… swatting a gnat was a metaphor. Not a euphemism.
Spilling the beer on his friend was a euphemism.
Broscience University. 😂
I was just calling clients Bru.
Mr. Willink could you make a poster with you in Iraq Ramadi? Please. I look up to you sir and I think it would make my room that much more cooler looking. BAUTISTAZURITA out.
It can help, talking towards others when on one's own. Argue things out, better than nothing. Hearing one's own voice, can be a self-therapy - help with things. When overwhelmed by a mob, it can help a person survive through impossible odds.
Watch out about people listening, who should be minding their own business.
(Work things out with your family too this way, hopefully 🤞)
THEY do not matter....YOUR goals DO.
They are not considering you in their worldview, so why should you?
Put them in their place. A stepstone. A flagstone. A useful idiot.
They are not tribe, therfore...they do not matter.
@@carlh-thehermitwithwi-fi679 They are me, or my children later. That matters to me.
@@telephonepolaroids then that matters to you. Act accordingly, and be creative!
@@carlh-thehermitwithwi-fi679 Yep
Which episode is this from?
Tell her she needs to calm down 🤣................thanks
Dale Carnegie 101.
I once knew a car salesman...shi..gottcha
How many pushups can Jocko do? All of them.
WHAT IF I LISTEN BUT DONT NOW WHAT TO DO IN RESPONCE?
I am going to keep talking. Don’t care😂😂😂😂😂😂
A Fool takes no pleasure in understanding. But only in expressing his opinion fools have no interest in understanding. They only want to air their own opinions. Fools can have nothing for thoughtful discourse. All they do is run off. The mouth
What's that really mean, tho?
I literally feel like I’m being water boarded anytime I encounter somebody who won’t stop talking.😭🥺😤
in my experience, it seems like around 80 to 90% of all people I encounter literally cannot shut up. It’s pathological and should be illegal.
And most people are pathological interrupters too.
My biggest pet peeve. 💀🤬🤬
How old are you?
I am a landscape designer. What do you do with a client that you have listened, and listened to, and you still can't wrap your head around what they actually want from you?
Had a geologist that I worked with at an environmental firm that would talk for at least 45 minutes every time you went in his office to ask a question. I would leave more confused. I found the best way to deal with him was to sketch up what I thought he wanted and wait for him to leave his office. I would drop off the drawing and go back to my desk.
Before long he would come by with the drawing all marked up and a very specific conversation would ensue as to what he really wanted. I was never afraid to be wrong, I just wanted to find a path to the end in the most direct way possible. Just get something rough down on paper and they will tell you all about what's wrong with it, but you're moving forward.
@@DavidEdwards-kq7oithat reminds me of something Chris Voss talks about. Statements like "it sounds like you're saying..." Using endings that may or may not be correct. They want to correct the record so they'll give more information than if you ask for the information directly.
She needs to do jiu jitsu
Check
Jocko is an Avenger..
Two ears, one mouth.
Customer won’t talk to you? Good.
2 ears, 1 mouth, its for a reason
But what if both people learned this and both just want to listen? What do you do then?
Enjoy the silence, lol.
@@EricHalverson83
Lol. Sounds kinda awkward unless you are at home with your significant other
@@Rufio1975 Shhh! Lol
When people have taken wrong actions and they recognize that they screwed up or were given bad Intelligence by bad actors...
It is not unreasonable and unrealistic that they would recognize mistakes and correct the situation with same vigor, efforts and resources... which typically are not even fully required to facilitate reversing the damage were possible and facilitating a better future environment and outcomes.
Bailing out the not sunken ship saves more than just that one ship and crew...
It creates a future with more ships...
... rather than more expenses and less ships and greater doubts regarding the way the ships have been handled.
Loose lips sinks ships... but false intelligence loses fleets. So truths sometimes have to come out.
Boy, does Echo sport a pair of guns...
Someone, please adjust this guy's microphone.
Cassie, this is my most favorite item you have ever unboxed. It’s beautiful and it actually is very handy to have a bag with your lip stuff and something for fresh breath on your special day. I had a bag 19 years ago for my wedding and my bridesmaids kept it for me when I wasn’t holding it. If a photo is snapped of you holding it the bag will look beautiful!!!!
Also, $3,000 is very reasonable IMO. The craftsmanship is impeccable.
jocko brenda starr
big bangs photos very far
todd lemons squad car
This would've been useful about 9 months ago :(
Very aware of all the BS
+
i failed at negotiation. FAILED. I'm a farmer, we plain speak, then we decide waht we need to do with the other guy.
After divorce in family court, i LEARNED.. I read Jim Camp's "Start With NO"
adn it taught me so much
Then i learned about Chris Voss...and i learned.
Now i talk a lot, brings their anxiety down.
HOWEVER, what i am TALKING about has no value
Bit of a snow job, but are they human anyway? Unsure. Act Accoringly.
Please use a pop filter.
Wife is in a bad mood? Hear but don’t listen. It’s the SOS
Jocko and Echo, I know what you put on RUclips is not the whole podcast, but you didn't discussed the difference between monologue and dialogue. You probably know what each word mean and how frustrating when you've got these monologue human being in front of you not able to shut the fuck up. Duck tape is so useful sometimes ;)! You have a nice day!
This just seems like placation. I gotta listen to your objectively bad ideas just so you feel heard? Ok dude.
Do you have a video talking about Gaza ? Or link M?
WACKO
Echo Charles can have better conversations by not saying "or whatever" every 3rd sentence. Annoying af to listen to bro. Everything else is on point