My husband actually told off one of my great aunts who made this comment to me with a bit of a dig..”Wow! Your so lucky that your husband helps you so much”. He quickly jumped in and a said “I don’t help her! I’m the dad! I’m doing my job and taking care of my kid. Saying I’m helping implies I’m doing my wife a favor and I’m not! I’m being a dad and a husband, that’s my responsibility.” I will never forget the look on her face and realizing how true that was. I fell in love a million times over with my husband that day.
That's awesome!!!!! If only other husbands and fathers said things like this and meant them people like your aunt wouldn't have had to make a comment like that. Maybe she is speaking from experience after all. If all women had husbands that thought like this women all over the world would fall in love with their husbands a million times over as well. Sadly this isn't the norm.
Lol it is so true! My husband is the same way. I get that ALOT. friends and family... Your so lucky your husband helps you so much and provides for you guys. That is what real men do!!
I have a lot of health issues that keep me from doing a lot and my husband works, cooks and i used to be always afraid he would leave me but he said I didn't marry you cause i needed a maid that was so nice to hear and every time I can I do things to show him appreciation, it's just difficult when women who had really bad husband's kind of expect your husband to leave you, like they can't be happy for you. I'm glad your hubby is doing what a loving equal partner should.
@@tatianafraserA We're raised by a society that puts more emphasis of importance based upon what we do rather than who we are. I'm disabled too and my wives often have to remind me that their love isn't based upon what I can do. They love me because I'm a good man. It's still difficult.
Recently my ex told me he was upset with me, because I never told him thank you when he took care of our daughter while I was working. It's easy for me to remember why he is an ex.
It’s funny cause I tend to thank my husband when he is “being a parent” to our son when he isn’t working... he looks at me crazy and wonders why I’m thanking him if it’s something that should be normal... but he works a lot I do too but I’m just genuinely thankful for his help. Because when he works late or more than usual and I have to do it all alone... it is a lot to do on my own.
@@shyetloka17 Right on Im glad you do. My ex husband is lazy and was a lazy father when we were together as well. Now Im with a man who appreciates me and does things without me asking. I thank him even for the little things.
Ah true, i am a stay at home wife, and my husband WFH ever since before i gave birth. He doest help me when it comes to taking care of our newborn, i had her via CS, husband doesnt bother helping me in changing her nappies, even to bath the bb, i do everything, well i guess because he provides financially his an exception to the responsibilities.
Ive had my grandma and mom just be so amazed at how much my husband "helps". I think it's still just such a new concept to so many people that they cant truly fathom that a dad can parent as well as a mom! Also it drives me crazy how many movies, shows, and more depict dads as you mentioned "incompetent." My husband and I each have our strengths and weaknesses and together we parent as a whole. Thank you for sharing this message, more people need to hear it!
My husband should watch this. Apparently it's "my job" to do everything that involves our child. I don't see my child as a chore, my husband however.....😤
My hubby is having difficulty with this too. It was the way he was raised. His mother still does everything for everyone in the family, but he tries, I'll give him that, it's just not natural instinct like it is for some
@@kelliehubbard2019 both of you have equal responsibility in the house and to parent your kids if any and in setting boundaries and rules and discipline and education etc
I have the same problem with mine and we argue all the time over this. He thinks because he goes to work and earns money then he doesn't have to do anything kid related. I'm a stay at home mom so anything home and child related is all me. Even on his days off from work he "deserves" to rest but apparently I'm a super hero and don't need any breaks/rest.
For real! My husband loaded up all 3 kids to go pick our oldest son up from school. 2/3 were still in their pajamas and all these moms were saying “wow he’s super dad”. Meanwhile if I showed up in the same state with kids in their pajamas at 315 in the afternoon people would be judgmental! I am grateful my husband wants to be involved, but we wouldn’t have 4 kids if he wasn’t!
Yes! I am the mom of a large family. A few years ago, when I had a week off from work, I took my then 6 month old son & my then 13 yo daughter to visit my then 19 yo daughter who was studying overseas. My then 4 year old son had a horrible time as neither older brothers nor dad were able to distinguish which clothes were his to help get him to and from preschool. His preschool teacher told me he came to school in his (then) 8 yo brother’s pants that he struggled to keep on the whole day. When I returned home from my 7 day trip, my poor 4 yo was having accidents almost daily (which he continued to do for a few months).
Yes and no. When the husband is gone 10+ hours "working", 15min in the door he says it's too much. I did not marry to be a single mom. I have respect for myself.
Learning as I go This is the first time I see one of her videos and completely disagree with her..... I got divorced this month because I am no longer physically capable of the mental emotional physical and financial abuse I have suffered the past 13 years. My ex always pretends to be helping and making me look bad in front of others, like I’m to lazy and incapable of being a good mother. But once the door is shut he drops everything on me and tells me to quit acting like a selfish child and star taking responsibility for being a mother. He has racked up thousands in debt but refuses to do his finances so I took care of it for years, but he isn’t going to do something about getting a better earning job, no in fact he going to stop working because he says he is under too much pressure He hasn’t taken care of me or the kids even one day, he isn’t going to do so after the divorce. What you said hit me light a freight train, I didn’t marry to be a single mom, I should’ve had enough respect for myself but didn’t, and now I will be a single mom with four kids doing everything I did before, but without all his ridicule and tearing me down, most of all, I am no longer responsible for his financial mess. Thank you for what you said, it’s time I start respecting myself...
@@Peek-A-Booh-Artistry I was never physically abused but financial, emotional, and mentally. I currently have no financial acces since December 2019 (new bank). His excuse was the checks don't always go through on Friday (self employed). Because I paid bills. There were other financial lies. Emotional/mental because he hangs out with a friend (a guy) allot. They go out to eat, ect. Last time he planned anything for us to do as a couple was November 2019. At a different time my husband was home maybe a half hour and said "this is too much". He walked out the door. His reasoning being was he helps to clean and it's a mess again. It's unfair because I am a sahm and deal with the endless messes. Twice he has accused me of cheating. Once because I said no to sex. Ect. It was when a friend called me crazy I cried for two days. What I mentioned was just over a year. Looking back I relized allot. I filed for divorce.
Learning as I go I understand and know what you mean. I am now dealing with him delaying to sign a contract that grants me all of his remaining property because he owes me money, and all of that property doesn’t even cover what he owes. Worse of all he signed his car into his working contract last week, which is now preventing me from claiming his car. Hopefully he signs tomorrow then I can go to a layer to draw ups proper legal contract before other debt claimed knock on the door. It seems to be an endless process, but I will get what is mine in the end, also the car
Girl mumas, I am single and see other girls in these situations and it pisses me off, If I had children I would want a prenuptial, he gets the kids and I get to drive by with a sports car once in a while and buy them ice cream so they think cool mum not tired angry mum. What's your best advice for a single girl should I enjoy being single I never have children?
That whole “dad’s are only helpers” has totally ruined my husbands self esteem about taking care of the kids! He has just subconsciously bought into that whole thought process!! It pisses me off! Because I tell him all the time.... YOU ARE THEIR DAD!! You have equal authority to decide when they go to bed... you don’t have to wait for my say so!! Or I would like to leave the kids with you for the weekend so I can go on a womens retreat.... husband; “I don’t know if I can do that...” 🙄
The double standard drives me batshit crazy!! My first husband was absolutely that guy who said he was babysitting whenever he did his freaking job and spent time w his kids and kept score about everything. “I did half the dishes, the rest are all you.” I did my half you do this was his mantra. My forever husband has a saying I love; “a relationship not both people doing 50%. It’s two people both giving 100% and doing their best for each other.” My big thing is as long as you do your best I’m happy. If he’s trying to get things done and doesn’t finish, I don’t care. He tried his best. If I start cleaning the playroom (side rant, the ‘playroom’ used to be my living room. Some family members who are in the “children shouldn’t be seen or heard unless I’m in the mood for them,” and “I shouldn’t be able to tell you have small kids by looking at your house,” mindsets love to “tease” {shame!!} me about “your living room looks like the kids’ rooms!” I have three kids, the youngest is special needs, and I’m more concerned about spending time WITH them than making my house spotless! I feel like if I can’t tell you have kids from the front yard, or at minimum your living room, that’s weird. I pick my battles, and toys stacked around the edges of the living room is a good compromise for the kids and I! They’re not running wild with zero rules and failing to learn responsibility, and I dont have to spend a majority of my time arguing w them about cleaning. We do enough together the house isn’t dangerous or disgusting, stacks of toys are fine but anything that brings bugs in the house or rots needs to be taken care of right away, and it leaves us more time for fun things! Ok, side rant ended) and don’t finish because something else becomes a higher priority, he’s fine with that because I’m doing my best. TL:DR version, a healthy relationship isn’t two people each giving 50%. It’s both people giving 100%.
This seriously drives me nuts. Like, yeah he's not as used to the crazy because he is not home as much as I am. But when he's home he steps up and does his share. If I want to go somewhere, I let him know I'm leaving, and I go. I come home to perfectly healthy and happy kids, just like they would have been if I had been with them.
Love this!! My spouse and I talk about this ALL the time. He was a single full time father for 5 years before we met. And did AMAZING! Better than most women I know. ♥️
Yep damn straight my husband are both equally parenting out children. It takes two to make one & it also takes two, or more sometimes, to raise one or more little people 😊
I cant imagine not being able to lean on my hubby. My hubby is pretty great at that. He may not be a romantic or buy anniversary or bday gifts, but he takes turns helping with my kids, diapers, night when our toddler refuses to sleep, and is a life saver in that way. He is 34 and that age group is more attuned to that lifestyle of parenting in the us too. Or at least where I live. So greatful!♡
I knew from the very beginning what do you mean saying that your husband does not help with the children! You speak out of my heart. Big love from Germany and thank you so much for your videos. I am the biggest fan.
"There is no one set way to have an equal relationship, but there is a bottom line. No matter what role each plays in the relationship and no matter how the relationship is organized, both partners have to respect each other as equals in terms of being human beings." You are so right. I don't have a child and I'm not in a relationship either but I agree with you. Equality is so important in a relationship to maintain it. If your partner is self centered and not willing to help you then that means that he would not be ready to settle down with you. And you have to remind them that why you guys married and when he said that always would be will you no matter what, that's their vows but after that they forget that. Everyone expects women to commit but men is free from every responsibilities. It's not fair. But hopefully not every man is like that. There are so many great and awesome dad's out there in the world. I'm happy that my dad was in that categories. He was such a great dad and great husband. He passed away and I miss him so much.
1000x this! I travel for work all the time and people always ask me who watches my kids. I started saying "shoot! I forgot to put a bowl of water out for them!" *Eye roll
I love you Kristina! Despite our divorce, I made sure that our children always were able to see their dad. Because even though he was a bad husband, he was more than a decent father. Thank you for bringing that up. It’s so very important that people understand that there are two parents and, believe it or not, men can be good if not better parents than women sometimes.
We saw you tonight in Columbus, OH. When we met you, I mentioned I had been "Mr. Mom" as I stayed home with the kids vs. my wife. She is older than I am and at the time, she was making more than I was and I was going to school as well. Instead of me spending so much time away from our family, we felt it was better if we each had a point away from the family (work for my wife and school for me) and then could also be with the family. I often found myself isolated as everything seemed to be geared towards moms with young kids but fathers weren't considered. I could attend a lunch/play date at McDonald's with a group of friends and it would become where I would be completely ignored. At times, I would feel like I was completely incompetent at raising the kids. Thank God for my wife who always supported me and encouraged me as a father. We now have 2 kids graduating next year (1 from college and the other from high school) who are accomplished, caring, giving human beings getting ready to strike out on their own and I was a part of that! Thank you for spreading the message that fathers are not second class parents!!!
Here's the problem tho, a lot of the times wives rush to point out how the hubby is doing wrong either holding the child wrong way, putting the diaper on wrong etc after a while the men just go screw this, apparently you know better and then the women complain the men don't help. I learned long time ago to keep my mouth shut and let him do his thing, i may not like it but it ain't hurting anyone and everyone always says wow your husband helps out so much. Yeah he does parent the kids, mainly because I learned to let go and let him do it freely without constantly telling him he isn't doing something the right way.
Still no excuse. I have the opposite problem, my husband constantly criticizes me for how I take care of our children and I keep going because I love my children. I would never abandon them because if criticism. Mums get criticized all the time but we never abandon our kids
I just watched the sweetest movie...Jack and Sarah...it showed what you are saying perfectly! In such a sweet way...his wife had died during the delivery of their first child😭 my favorite part was when he put his newborn baby girl in a mailer with a sock hat to go to the store to buy her some clothes...she still looked beautiful to him. I recommend this movie just have a box of tissues handy!
OMG yes! I love this!!!! My husband doesn't "help" with the cooking, cleaning, parenting, laundry either. He's a great husband and partner! Thank you for also talking about moms being more than that title. I get so much crap for working outside the home and *gasp* getting an education! (Somewhere some old school lady just passed out😂)
I needed this today because I’m 5 weeks postpartum and I’m having a rough time with everything that comes with caring for a 6 week old baby (if you’re a first time mom like I am, you know where I’m coming from).
@@assamfoodforestnursery4010 I hope you've adjusted a bit better. I'll soon have 6 children, the youngest will be 15 months old, and I will still be doing EVERYTHING domestic. From caring for the new baby to still waking up with the toddler (my husband doesn't do night duty...or anything other than play with the children when he wants to), homeschooling, cleaning, cooking. It can get to be very tough, so my advice is to not lose yourself in everything. Take whatever time you can get to yourself and don't feel guilty about it, and make sure your tell your husband you need him to step up. If he chooses not to, like mine has chosen, then don't expect him to change if you have more children. That was a terrible mistake I made.
I love her she is funny and awesome she is so straight to the point and I love how my hubby helps with all the responsibilities of having our daughter he even watches her while I'm gone he is the best
Thank you for putting words to my thoughts. My mother in law and her mom are so amazed at their sons ability to parent and live his family. It makes me sad they were never that blessed. I am so glad my husband is loving to me and his baby
My parents divorced when I was 4 and my dad got full custody of all 3 of us kids (in '87 when it was super rare). I've always felt more comfortable with him than my mom in numerous ways. He was doing what he was supposed to be doing as a parent. And he did amazing at it! Also, when I hear people ask if a dad is babysitting his own kids it drives me crazy. He's NOT babysitting. He's their father, he's parenting them. As a nanny and babysitter I babysit, a parent can't babysit their own child/children!
Yeah my husband is the same he doesnt appreciate anyone referring to him parenting as babysitting. He doesnt like overhearing people ask me if he will watch them either. Hes like heather can do and go where ever she wants I have to force her out of the house and no she doesnt have to ask, she just says shes got plans and we go with the flow. That's a marriage and that's a family.
Im a single mom. My kid’s dad took off when I was still pregnant. Never to be heard from again. I think it’s nice when both parents are involved in the children’s lives. Even single dads can have a hard time.
My husband married a disabled single mom and wanted to raise someone else's child. He has stepped up more than most men would ever do. He has raised me and I'm 4yrs older than him. Lol. I've had 26 back surgeries and he's been here since the 7th. And he's, like I said raised me UP and LIFTED me in every way possible. I consider my husband an angel my Nonnies in heaven sent me during my hardest times. I am blessed even on my worst days. He works his own Air Conditioning business and comes home and takes care of dinner, his own laundry and when my son was younger he took him to school and up from school. He paid for private school and home schooling. Yes, there are great REAL MEN out there that love women and will do anything for the right one for them. You will find the right one for you. I thought I'd never find love again, I'd never marry again. Until HE WANTED to MEET me. Knowing all my problems. He still wanted me. Keep your head held high, the right one is out there for you!
Love you and your videos and all of the positive attitude you out out there. Your videos have helped a lot. As a pregnant woman expecting mine and my husband's first child this message is one I completely agree with and thank you.
My husband is my helper in this case. Just like if I went to his work I'd be his helper. So he makes parenting decisions for our son based on my parenting parameters, all of which we both agree upon. It works for us. He respects that I know our son best and this is my full time gig. As for around the house, again, my helper. He works a labor + brain intensive job 55 hours a week. Let's just say I cut him a lot of slack. 😉
Youre forgetting one important thing. MEN DO IT TO THEMSELVES. Make a video for men who need to realize that they are just as capable and they are able to throw diapers out so the mom doesn't have too, they can change a toilet paper roll, they can wipe up a spill.
My brother in law has spent time working away from his family, it was very hard on them all. He told my sister without you I would have nothing, a dog and an empty apartment. He cooks, so his sons love cooking. Hes learned how important it is to be there not just send money home.
Amen! My husband of almost 25 years has never said babysit! I hate when I hear men say I have to watch my kid pisses me straight off!! My husband is 💯 involved there is no 50/50!
This is the first video I've watched from you and I really like you! I totally agree with you! It doesn't matter if you are male or female, just be a good parent. Sexism is the worst!
I married a good one who understands that. Now I am a SAHM and so my "job" is to manage the house. but even after working all day, hubby will pick up groceries (or let me do it if I need to get out of the house), give the kids a bath, get then ready for bed, and help with dinner cleanup. After he comes home we are both 100% parenting together and I love that.
I honestly think that calling fathers parents (as they are and should be) is one way to make both sexes responsible for the child they create or adopt. Men are equally capable of being a good parent and a housekeeper 100%, plus he eats too, he creates trash and he wears clothing too just as she does! He is part of why the child exists or a decision to adopt a child too! I think if you cannot even trust him with a child or a vulnerable person (like a senior or other loved ones needing care) even for few hours, then you really should NOT be in a relationship with this person, let alone marry and raise children together. Besides, if any man or woman who thinks that making them responsible for having a child is forcibly locking them into a relationship and they don't want the responsibility...well, think twice and thrice before procreating! People think that way should NOT be having children as they are still children themselves anyways.
I do have to remind myself a lot that when my kids are with my husband, whatever they do is fine, that he is a competent adult that is very capable and can handle what comes up just as well, and sometimes better, than I can. Part of that is a personal problem, I don't like when people don't do it the way I do it.
There are still men today that don't think they're Unqualified to parent, they just do not and will not parent period cause they still put their tv shows and sleeping on the top of their priorities. Example: my husband, yes I'm calling him out, and yes he considers himself babysitting when I'm not home.
Yes its 2020 people! After thousands of years of inequality, the laws for equality of women are quite recent really and attitudes are still old fashioned. God bless
My husband is an Awesome hands on dad Especially now in Lockdown time as im n Key worker But his like that all the time anyway And from day one We always said His not doing me a favour to spend time with his so His doing himself a favour to spend time with his wonderful son They have such a close bond now and I love it ❤️
I can't tell you how often I was asked, "is [Husband] babysitting tonight?" I would always innocently answer with slightly widened eyes, "no, he's with our kids"
This is all true and great but people forget that many still say these things because there are so many of us women who have to do it alone even when the fathers in the picture. I know there are lots of great single dads, my dad was one of them. There are still more women doing it alone. I dont blame them for asking if the dad helps out 🤷 I dont take offense since Ive personally gone through it.
Father of two here. I cut my kid's umbilical cords, burped them, rocked and sang them to sleep, changed a thousand poopy diapers, wiped booger faces, and I have been the sole fingernail and toenail cutter since their birth... to name just a few things. My wife and I try to share all responsibilities and I wouldn't change a thing.
My husband hates being considered a babysitter. However, in all honesty, I very rarely do anything or go out on my own. He travels, sometimes for work, sometimes for pleasure, and we don't have anyone to stay with our kids. So...I have always been the one to stay home. Plus, many of his friends & relatives, both male & female, tend to ask "can't your wife stay with the kids so you can travel/hang out with us?" As though 100% of the responsibility of parenting should fall on the mom. Many many ppl are stuck in this 1950s idea of parenting & simple household duties. He works in an office & is a man, therefore nothing more is expected of him. I work from home, yet iam still expected to be a full-time parent, taxi service, laundress, cook, maid, tutor, project manager, stock/inventory clerk, psychologist, pet parent, reminder service, and emotional vending machine in addition to doing my office job. It's so ingrained in so many, I don't know if we will ever get completely past it. I'm really starting to give up hope, and that's just depressing.
1) YES! My husband is wonderful. 😍 2) I just read your book. It was wonderful! I loved reading about your life and your wonderful advice and encouragement. 😊
WoW your great, and if my x wife had this way of understanding the relationship of the farthers way to parenting young children, we would still be married. I was not her perfect farther for our 4 kids after working 13 hours days for 30 years but i loved my children and was heartbroken when i had to leave.
I am a new mom , I feel so burnt out and exhausted.I am a stay at home mom since after child birth. My husband work 2 jobs remotely and provide everything .Which I am very grateful for . He has refused to help me hold the baby for even 5 minutes. To a point I have to bait the baby to sleep before I can use the bathroom or shower. I have no help I am holding the baby 24/7. I want to go back to work and have him drop one job so we can split turns with the baby . But he refuses.I feel burnt out and exhausted.😢 I am beginning to resent my husband I just don’t like the way I feel about him now .I hope I don’t go into postpartum depression or walk out of this marriage.
Dave -- i can relate --if my x wife had this way of understanding the relationship of the farthers way to parenting young children, we would still be married. I was not her perfect farther for our 4 kids after working 13 hours days for 30 years but i loved my children and was heartbroken when i had to leave.
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But,a lot of women scares the dad away by saying that everything he does is wrong, my friend let her husband do everything his own way,she never commented on anything he did even though she would have done it quite differently. I think women should trust men more on this and not assume that the men has to be taught how to care for the baby. It's better the new mom and dad experience and find out together,and that they encourage each other.
Maybe the men should study the subject little bit before starting to do experiments eg. on the baby caring field. (Not saying that all the women understand the subject automatically either). I can not really get this "let them do it in their own way, because they feel bad otherwise". Why is it that often people either think that men could not excel in taking care of children and family tasks and/or that they would automatically know how to do things well? It by the way only increases the work load if the woman has to redo stuff because they were done incorrectly in the first place (or the child gets sick: seriously i was told once that the wife looked the other way when her husband was changing diapers to baby, because her husband always missed some poo while wiping baby clean, and she worried for infections, but did not want to discourage her husband from participating. I was totally disgusted by her advice to not discourage the man when he at least tries to do his share, and correcting makes the man FEEL BAD). In the work place, the other workers hopefully are not cleaning up after the man has performed poorly, and say nothing so that the worker man would not feel bad, because he was doing it in his "own way" (#sarcastically# "it is only natural that the other employees of the company secretly cover all the mistakes someone does so the person does not feel bad after making such a big effort" (but still unconsciously messing things up). I really commend that notion that the man does not "help the wife", but does his fair share of parenting and caring of the family unit. If you "help", you are only a visitor, not a parent of a family to whom participating is only doing ones own part of the duties, and helper is definetly not someone living under the same roof.
Kristina you are amaizing. I've just finished your book. I've wanted to help other parents, mums like you do for a while, by watching you I've gotten the courage to vlog on you tube as well. Thank you for being you. Keep going.
I know you asked us to stop shaming dads....buuuuuuut how can we when the majority still need help with life??? I'm not sure how normal it is yet unfortunately for good male parenting to be expected and assumed... this is sad but true. I am happy to be wrong, am I wrong? also ladies, please consciously choose good partners and stop having kids with idiots and then more idiots can think that they can have their cake and eat it too... while the baby is crying and the house is falling apart... and theyre eating cake.
My ex husband would say that he is “ playing daddy”. It drives me nuts to hear that men “ babysit their kids” or helps. They helped create the children so they should be raising them.
I went to pick up my other kids from school 3 blocks away. Left our youngest at home with him. I locked the door when I left. When I came home my door was unlocked and my two year old was GONE. GONE…. I would have to say something so simple as to watch his kids while I was gone for 30 minutes picking up our other children from school should have been a simple and doable task. Sometimes dads are a real issue when wanting to leave the children to be watched by them.
My husband is completely uncapable to take care of our baby. He really is, and im going nuts! Plus, he doesnt give a s*it. He works, pay some bills and "pretend" he cares.... Thats when i feel like a potencial killer. Is heartbreaking and exasperating! 😔
My husband actually told off one of my great aunts who made this comment to me with a bit of a dig..”Wow! Your so lucky that your husband helps you so much”. He quickly jumped in and a said “I don’t help her! I’m the dad! I’m doing my job and taking care of my kid. Saying I’m helping implies I’m doing my wife a favor and I’m not! I’m being a dad and a husband, that’s my responsibility.” I will never forget the look on her face and realizing how true that was. I fell in love a million times over with my husband that day.
LFerRam1 you lucky woman
That's awesome!!!!! If only other husbands and fathers said things like this and meant them people like your aunt wouldn't have had to make a comment like that. Maybe she is speaking from experience after all. If all women had husbands that thought like this women all over the world would fall in love with their husbands a million times over as well. Sadly this isn't the norm.
Lol it is so true! My husband is the same way. I get that ALOT. friends and family... Your so lucky your husband helps you so much and provides for you guys. That is what real men do!!
I have a lot of health issues that keep me from doing a lot and my husband works, cooks and i used to be always afraid he would leave me but he said I didn't marry you cause i needed a maid that was so nice to hear and every time I can I do things to show him appreciation, it's just difficult when women who had really bad husband's kind of expect your husband to leave you, like they can't be happy for you. I'm glad your hubby is doing what a loving equal partner should.
@@tatianafraserA We're raised by a society that puts more emphasis of importance based upon what we do rather than who we are. I'm disabled too and my wives often have to remind me that their love isn't based upon what I can do. They love me because I'm a good man. It's still difficult.
Recently my ex told me he was upset with me, because I never told him thank you when he took care of our daughter while I was working. It's easy for me to remember why he is an ex.
My jaw literally dropped reading this
It’s funny cause I tend to thank my husband when he is “being a parent” to our son when he isn’t working... he looks at me crazy and wonders why I’m thanking him if it’s something that should be normal... but he works a lot I do too but I’m just genuinely thankful for his help. Because when he works late or more than usual and I have to do it all alone... it is a lot to do on my own.
@@shyetloka17 Right on Im glad you do. My ex husband is lazy and was a lazy father when we were together as well. Now Im with a man who appreciates me and does things without me asking. I thank him even for the little things.
My mother once asked my brother if he was babysitting his boys while his wife was out. He told her he doesn’t babysit his own kids. He gets it!
Once again, thank you from the bottom of this father's heart.
Yes, men are perfectly capable but some choose not to parent.
Both mom and dad's should parent their kids
I feel like throwing mine away
@@wifeyb.9779 your man or your kids?
Ah true, i am a stay at home wife, and my husband WFH ever since before i gave birth.
He doest help me when it comes to taking care of our newborn, i had her via CS, husband doesnt bother helping me in changing her nappies, even to bath the bb, i do everything, well i guess because he provides financially his an exception to the responsibilities.
Ive had my grandma and mom just be so amazed at how much my husband "helps". I think it's still just such a new concept to so many people that they cant truly fathom that a dad can parent as well as a mom! Also it drives me crazy how many movies, shows, and more depict dads as you mentioned "incompetent." My husband and I each have our strengths and weaknesses and together we parent as a whole. Thank you for sharing this message, more people need to hear it!
My husband should watch this. Apparently it's "my job" to do everything that involves our child. I don't see my child as a chore, my husband however.....😤
My hubby is having difficulty with this too. It was the way he was raised. His mother still does everything for everyone in the family, but he tries, I'll give him that, it's just not natural instinct like it is for some
@@kelliehubbard2019 both of you have equal responsibility in the house and to parent your kids if any and in setting boundaries and rules and discipline and education etc
I have the same problem with mine and we argue all the time over this. He thinks because he goes to work and earns money then he doesn't have to do anything kid related. I'm a stay at home mom so anything home and child related is all me. Even on his days off from work he "deserves" to rest but apparently I'm a super hero and don't need any breaks/rest.
That's not all dad's....
Yes! Taking care of a baby shouldn’t only be the mothers job
For real! My husband loaded up all 3 kids to go pick our oldest son up from school. 2/3 were still in their pajamas and all these moms were saying “wow he’s super dad”. Meanwhile if I showed up in the same state with kids in their pajamas at 315 in the afternoon people would be judgmental! I am grateful my husband wants to be involved, but we wouldn’t have 4 kids if he wasn’t!
Men don't let other people opinion influence them. Women care too much about appearance.
@@XxWillyRocksxX ha the sexist comment I was looking for and I through I was in 2020.
Yes! I am the mom of a large family. A few years ago, when I had a week off from work, I took my then 6 month old son & my then 13 yo daughter to visit my then 19 yo daughter who was studying overseas. My then 4 year old son had a horrible time as neither older brothers nor dad were able to distinguish which clothes were his to help get him to and from preschool. His preschool teacher told me he came to school in his (then) 8 yo brother’s pants that he struggled to keep on the whole day. When I returned home from my 7 day trip, my poor 4 yo was having accidents almost daily (which he continued to do for a few months).
“How frickin’ nice that your wife helps with the kids.” 😂
Girl, YES!
The world needs to 👏hear👏these👏words!
Yes and no.
When the husband is gone 10+ hours "working", 15min in the door he says it's too much.
I did not marry to be a single mom. I have respect for myself.
Learning as I go
This is the first time I see one of her videos and completely disagree with her.....
I got divorced this month because I am no longer physically capable of the mental emotional physical and financial abuse I have suffered the past 13 years.
My ex always pretends to be helping and making me look bad in front of others, like I’m to lazy and incapable of being a good mother. But once the door is shut he drops everything on me and tells me to quit acting like a selfish child and star taking responsibility for being a mother.
He has racked up thousands in debt but refuses to do his finances so I took care of it for years, but he isn’t going to do something about getting a better earning job, no in fact he going to stop working because he says he is under too much pressure
He hasn’t taken care of me or the kids even one day, he isn’t going to do so after the divorce.
What you said hit me light a freight train, I didn’t marry to be a single mom, I should’ve had enough respect for myself but didn’t, and now I will be a single mom with four kids doing everything I did before, but without all his ridicule and tearing me down, most of all, I am no longer responsible for his financial mess.
Thank you for what you said, it’s time I start respecting myself...
@@Peek-A-Booh-Artistry I was never physically abused but financial, emotional, and mentally.
I currently have no financial acces since December 2019 (new bank). His excuse was the checks don't always go through on Friday (self employed). Because I paid bills. There were other financial lies.
Emotional/mental because he hangs out with a friend (a guy) allot. They go out to eat, ect. Last time he planned anything for us to do as a couple was November 2019.
At a different time my husband was home maybe a half hour and said "this is too much". He walked out the door. His reasoning being was he helps to clean and it's a mess again. It's unfair because I am a sahm and deal with the endless messes.
Twice he has accused me of cheating. Once because I said no to sex. Ect.
It was when a friend called me crazy I cried for two days. What I mentioned was just over a year. Looking back I relized allot. I filed for divorce.
Learning as I go
I understand and know what you mean.
I am now dealing with him delaying to sign a contract that grants me all of his remaining property because he owes me money, and all of that property doesn’t even cover what he owes. Worse of all he signed his car into his working contract last week, which is now preventing me from claiming his car.
Hopefully he signs tomorrow then I can go to a layer to draw ups proper legal contract before other debt claimed knock on the door.
It seems to be an endless process, but I will get what is mine in the end, also the car
rocky mountain lass
I am very glad I broke out of this prison 👍🏻
Better life waiting for me without all his nonsense and debt
Girl mumas, I am single and see other girls in these situations and it pisses me off, If I had children I would want a prenuptial, he gets the kids and I get to drive by with a sports car once in a while and buy them ice cream so they think cool mum not tired angry mum. What's your best advice for a single girl should I enjoy being single I never have children?
If I had a dollar for every time someone said “you’re lucky”, or “must be nice, “ I’d be rich . It’s actually degrading for me .
It tells you what they're accustomed too
That whole “dad’s are only helpers” has totally ruined my husbands self esteem about taking care of the kids! He has just subconsciously bought into that whole thought process!! It pisses me off! Because I tell him all the time.... YOU ARE THEIR DAD!! You have equal authority to decide when they go to bed... you don’t have to wait for my say so!! Or I would like to leave the kids with you for the weekend so I can go on a womens retreat.... husband; “I don’t know if I can do that...” 🙄
Oh I know! And don't you LOVE when they call it 'babysitting" ?!
Thank you for highlighting men and their importance ♥️ though most women will say their husbands are their biggest kid too 🤣
Yea, didn't you know, we got ourselves pregnant!!!! Lol. Loved this!
You would think this would be sense. But we are not all lucky enough to have a supportive spouse
You are the BEST!!! My husband is an "equal parent" too.......and I am thankful every day for him.
Is their any issues you don't like on his parenting ways or do you accept them
The double standard drives me batshit crazy!! My first husband was absolutely that guy who said he was babysitting whenever he did his freaking job and spent time w his kids and kept score about everything. “I did half the dishes, the rest are all you.” I did my half you do this was his mantra. My forever husband has a saying I love; “a relationship not both people doing 50%. It’s two people both giving 100% and doing their best for each other.” My big thing is as long as you do your best I’m happy. If he’s trying to get things done and doesn’t finish, I don’t care. He tried his best. If I start cleaning the playroom (side rant, the ‘playroom’ used to be my living room. Some family members who are in the “children shouldn’t be seen or heard unless I’m in the mood for them,” and “I shouldn’t be able to tell you have small kids by looking at your house,” mindsets love to “tease” {shame!!} me about “your living room looks like the kids’ rooms!” I have three kids, the youngest is special needs, and I’m more concerned about spending time WITH them than making my house spotless! I feel like if I can’t tell you have kids from the front yard, or at minimum your living room, that’s weird. I pick my battles, and toys stacked around the edges of the living room is a good compromise for the kids and I! They’re not running wild with zero rules and failing to learn responsibility, and I dont have to spend a majority of my time arguing w them about cleaning. We do enough together the house isn’t dangerous or disgusting, stacks of toys are fine but anything that brings bugs in the house or rots needs to be taken care of right away, and it leaves us more time for fun things! Ok, side rant ended) and don’t finish because something else becomes a higher priority, he’s fine with that because I’m doing my best.
TL:DR version, a healthy relationship isn’t two people each giving 50%. It’s both people giving 100%.
This seriously drives me nuts. Like, yeah he's not as used to the crazy because he is not home as much as I am. But when he's home he steps up and does his share. If I want to go somewhere, I let him know I'm leaving, and I go. I come home to perfectly healthy and happy kids, just like they would have been if I had been with them.
Love this!! My spouse and I talk about this ALL the time. He was a single full time father for 5 years before we met. And did AMAZING! Better than most women I know. ♥️
Yep damn straight my husband are both equally parenting out children. It takes two to make one & it also takes two, or more sometimes, to raise one or more little people 😊
I cant imagine not being able to lean on my hubby. My hubby is pretty great at that. He may not be a romantic or buy anniversary or bday gifts, but he takes turns helping with my kids, diapers, night when our toddler refuses to sleep, and is a life saver in that way. He is 34 and that age group is more attuned to that lifestyle of parenting in the us too. Or at least where I live. So greatful!♡
So true, dang I’m super nice, but I’m not sure how you change the guy after kids come. If it goes on too long resentment sets in or divorce.
I knew from the very beginning what do you mean saying that your husband does not help with the children! You speak out of my heart. Big love from Germany and thank you so much for your videos. I am the biggest fan.
That's a breath of fresh air in current ignorant absurdities one can hear around. Thank you sweetheart 💓
"check your phone for the current year" 🤣😂👍
Men need to realise how much unpaid work women do!
Lol this is an example.of toxic femininity
"There is no one set way to have an equal relationship, but there is a bottom line. No matter what role each plays in the relationship and no matter how the relationship is organized, both partners have to respect each other as equals in terms of being human beings."
You are so right. I don't have a child and I'm not in a relationship either but I agree with you. Equality is so important in a relationship to maintain it. If your partner is self centered and not willing to help you then that means that he would not be ready to settle down with you. And you have to remind them that why you guys married and when he said that always would be will you no matter what, that's their vows but after that they forget that. Everyone expects women to commit but men is free from every responsibilities. It's not fair. But hopefully not every man is like that. There are so many great and awesome dad's out there in the world. I'm happy that my dad was in that categories. He was such a great dad and great husband. He passed away and I miss him so much.
Wait until you actually have a child then maybe you will know more.
1000x this! I travel for work all the time and people always ask me who watches my kids. I started saying "shoot! I forgot to put a bowl of water out for them!" *Eye roll
I love you Kristina! Despite our divorce, I made sure that our children always were able to see their dad. Because even though he was a bad husband, he was more than a decent father. Thank you for bringing that up. It’s so very important that people understand that there are two parents and, believe it or not, men can be good if not better parents than women sometimes.
I agree
We saw you tonight in Columbus, OH. When we met you, I mentioned I had been "Mr. Mom" as I stayed home with the kids vs. my wife. She is older than I am and at the time, she was making more than I was and I was going to school as well. Instead of me spending so much time away from our family, we felt it was better if we each had a point away from the family (work for my wife and school for me) and then could also be with the family. I often found myself isolated as everything seemed to be geared towards moms with young kids but fathers weren't considered. I could attend a lunch/play date at McDonald's with a group of friends and it would become where I would be completely ignored. At times, I would feel like I was completely incompetent at raising the kids. Thank God for my wife who always supported me and encouraged me as a father. We now have 2 kids graduating next year (1 from college and the other from high school) who are accomplished, caring, giving human beings getting ready to strike out on their own and I was a part of that! Thank you for spreading the message that fathers are not second class parents!!!
I need a friend like you to pour my heart out... On parenting
Here's the problem tho, a lot of the times wives rush to point out how the hubby is doing wrong either holding the child wrong way, putting the diaper on wrong etc after a while the men just go screw this, apparently you know better and then the women complain the men don't help. I learned long time ago to keep my mouth shut and let him do his thing, i may not like it but it ain't hurting anyone and everyone always says wow your husband helps out so much. Yeah he does parent the kids, mainly because I learned to let go and let him do it freely without constantly telling him he isn't doing something the right way.
Still no excuse. I have the opposite problem, my husband constantly criticizes me for how I take care of our children and I keep going because I love my children. I would never abandon them because if criticism. Mums get criticized all the time but we never abandon our kids
I just watched the sweetest movie...Jack and Sarah...it showed what you are saying perfectly! In such a sweet way...his wife had died during the delivery of their first child😭 my favorite part was when he put his newborn baby girl in a mailer with a sock hat to go to the store to buy her some clothes...she still looked beautiful to him.
I recommend this movie just have a box of tissues handy!
Men are adults and responsible for their kids no matter how unkind wives are.
@@hinahinananoha7783 I agree
Important point!
OMG yes! I love this!!!! My husband doesn't "help" with the cooking, cleaning, parenting, laundry either. He's a great husband and partner! Thank you for also talking about moms being more than that title. I get so much crap for working outside the home and *gasp* getting an education! (Somewhere some old school lady just passed out😂)
I needed this today because I’m 5 weeks postpartum and I’m having a rough time with everything that comes with caring for a 6 week old baby (if you’re a first time mom like I am, you know where I’m coming from).
You are such a beautiful young and pretty woman, hope you are feeling better. look after yourself, God Bless from Ireland
I can understand... Don't expect anything from husband... That's my suggestion.. Stay strong
@@assamfoodforestnursery4010 I hope you've adjusted a bit better. I'll soon have 6 children, the youngest will be 15 months old, and I will still be doing EVERYTHING domestic. From caring for the new baby to still waking up with the toddler (my husband doesn't do night duty...or anything other than play with the children when he wants to), homeschooling, cleaning, cooking. It can get to be very tough, so my advice is to not lose yourself in everything. Take whatever time you can get to yourself and don't feel guilty about it, and make sure your tell your husband you need him to step up.
If he chooses not to, like mine has chosen, then don't expect him to change if you have more children. That was a terrible mistake I made.
I love her she is funny and awesome she is so straight to the point and I love how my hubby helps with all the responsibilities of having our daughter he even watches her while I'm gone he is the best
Thank you for putting words to my thoughts. My mother in law and her mom are so amazed at their sons ability to parent and live his family. It makes me sad they were never that blessed. I am so glad my husband is loving to me and his baby
My parents divorced when I was 4 and my dad got full custody of all 3 of us kids (in '87 when it was super rare). I've always felt more comfortable with him than my mom in numerous ways. He was doing what he was supposed to be doing as a parent. And he did amazing at it! Also, when I hear people ask if a dad is babysitting his own kids it drives me crazy. He's NOT babysitting. He's their father, he's parenting them. As a nanny and babysitter I babysit, a parent can't babysit their own child/children!
Yeah my husband is the same he doesnt appreciate anyone referring to him parenting as babysitting. He doesnt like overhearing people ask me if he will watch them either. Hes like heather can do and go where ever she wants I have to force her out of the house and no she doesnt have to ask, she just says shes got plans and we go with the flow. That's a marriage and that's a family.
Im a single mom. My kid’s dad took off when I was still pregnant. Never to be heard from again. I think it’s nice when both parents are involved in the children’s lives. Even single dads can have a hard time.
That is terrible. I feel genuinely sorry for you. I hope and pray your life gets better.
My husband married a disabled single mom and wanted to raise someone else's child. He has stepped up more than most men would ever do. He has raised me and I'm 4yrs older than him. Lol. I've had 26 back surgeries and he's been here since the 7th. And he's, like I said raised me UP and LIFTED me in every way possible. I consider my husband an angel my Nonnies in heaven sent me during my hardest times. I am blessed even on my worst days. He works his own Air Conditioning business and comes home and takes care of dinner, his own laundry and when my son was younger he took him to school and up from school. He paid for private school and home schooling. Yes, there are great REAL MEN out there that love women and will do anything for the right one for them. You will find the right one for you.
I thought I'd never find love again, I'd never marry again. Until HE WANTED to MEET me. Knowing all my problems. He still wanted me.
Keep your head held high, the right one is out there for you!
Love you and your videos and all of the positive attitude you out out there. Your videos have helped a lot. As a pregnant woman expecting mine and my husband's first child this message is one I completely agree with and thank you.
My husband is my helper in this case. Just like if I went to his work I'd be his helper. So he makes parenting decisions for our son based on my parenting parameters, all of which we both agree upon. It works for us. He respects that I know our son best and this is my full time gig. As for around the house, again, my helper. He works a labor + brain intensive job 55 hours a week. Let's just say I cut him a lot of slack. 😉
Thank you! Dads are just as important! Not helpers or babysitters! ❤️ Awesome video!!! ❤️
Yes that's true
Youre forgetting one important thing. MEN DO IT TO THEMSELVES. Make a video for men who need to realize that they are just as capable and they are able to throw diapers out so the mom doesn't have too, they can change a toilet paper roll, they can wipe up a spill.
My brother in law has spent time working away from his family, it was very hard on them all. He told my sister without you I would have nothing, a dog and an empty apartment. He cooks, so his sons love cooking. Hes learned how important it is to be there not just send money home.
I really enjoy your videos on Mums and Dads being equally capable of raising kids. Thank you so much for making great content.
Amen! My husband of almost 25 years has never said babysit! I hate when I hear men say I have to watch my kid pisses me straight off!! My husband is 💯 involved there is no 50/50!
This is the first video I've watched from you and I really like you! I totally agree with you! It doesn't matter if you are male or female, just be a good parent. Sexism is the worst!
I married a good one who understands that. Now I am a SAHM and so my "job" is to manage the house. but even after working all day, hubby will pick up groceries (or let me do it if I need to get out of the house), give the kids a bath, get then ready for bed, and help with dinner cleanup. After he comes home we are both 100% parenting together and I love that.
I honestly think that calling fathers parents (as they are and should be) is one way to make both sexes responsible for the child they create or adopt. Men are equally capable of being a good parent and a housekeeper 100%, plus he eats too, he creates trash and he wears clothing too just as she does! He is part of why the child exists or a decision to adopt a child too! I think if you cannot even trust him with a child or a vulnerable person (like a senior or other loved ones needing care) even for few hours, then you really should NOT be in a relationship with this person, let alone marry and raise children together.
Besides, if any man or woman who thinks that making them responsible for having a child is forcibly locking them into a relationship and they don't want the responsibility...well, think twice and thrice before procreating! People think that way should NOT be having children as they are still children themselves anyways.
Totally true! Every single word!
I do have to remind myself a lot that when my kids are with my husband, whatever they do is fine, that he is a competent adult that is very capable and can handle what comes up just as well, and sometimes better, than I can. Part of that is a personal problem, I don't like when people don't do it the way I do it.
every husband should see this
This video needs way more likes/views. It needs to be viral! Sooo true!
There are still men today that don't think they're Unqualified to parent, they just do not and will not parent period cause they still put their tv shows and sleeping on the top of their priorities. Example: my husband, yes I'm calling him out, and yes he considers himself babysitting when I'm not home.
Amen sister. I know many men like that. It's a real shame.
THANK YOU for that. Really! THANK YOU
Yes its 2020 people! After thousands of years of inequality, the laws for equality of women are quite recent really and attitudes are still old fashioned. God bless
Very well said. Now if only men would see this and agree with it....
Elly Berry Better chose one that does...
My husband is an Awesome hands on dad Especially now in Lockdown time as im n Key worker But his like that all the time anyway And from day one We always said His not doing me a favour to spend time with his so His doing himself a favour to spend time with his wonderful son They have such a close bond now and I love it ❤️
I can't tell you how often I was asked, "is [Husband] babysitting tonight?" I would always innocently answer with slightly widened eyes, "no, he's with our kids"
“No, but he is parenting tonite”.
This is all true and great but people forget that many still say these things because there are so many of us women who have to do it alone even when the fathers in the picture. I know there are lots of great single dads, my dad was one of them. There are still more women doing it alone. I dont blame them for asking if the dad helps out 🤷 I dont take offense since Ive personally gone through it.
You are so correct......
Father of two here. I cut my kid's umbilical cords, burped them, rocked and sang them to sleep, changed a thousand poopy diapers, wiped booger faces, and I have been the sole fingernail and toenail cutter since their birth... to name just a few things. My wife and I try to share all responsibilities and I wouldn't change a thing.
She's blessed to have you, many women don't have a husband who does anything around the house or with the children.
My husband hates being considered a babysitter. However, in all honesty, I very rarely do anything or go out on my own. He travels, sometimes for work, sometimes for pleasure, and we don't have anyone to stay with our kids. So...I have always been the one to stay home. Plus, many of his friends & relatives, both male & female, tend to ask "can't your wife stay with the kids so you can travel/hang out with us?" As though 100% of the responsibility of parenting should fall on the mom. Many many ppl are stuck in this 1950s idea of parenting & simple household duties. He works in an office & is a man, therefore nothing more is expected of him. I work from home, yet iam still expected to be a full-time parent, taxi service, laundress, cook, maid, tutor, project manager, stock/inventory clerk, psychologist, pet parent, reminder service, and emotional vending machine in addition to doing my office job. It's so ingrained in so many, I don't know if we will ever get completely past it. I'm really starting to give up hope, and that's just depressing.
1) YES! My husband is wonderful. 😍 2) I just read your book. It was wonderful! I loved reading about your life and your wonderful advice and encouragement. 😊
I subscribed to this channel a while ago, for exactly these types of videos. Well done!
WoW your great, and if my x wife had this way of understanding the relationship of the farthers way to parenting young children, we would still be married. I was not her perfect farther for our 4 kids after working 13 hours days for 30 years but i loved my children and was heartbroken when i had to leave.
I think you missed the sarcasm.
Thank you for making this video!!!
When I have the kids without my wife, it would be unfair to say there has never been matches and a bucket of go-go juice.
I am a new mom , I feel so burnt out and exhausted.I am a stay at home mom since after child birth. My husband work 2 jobs remotely and provide everything .Which I am very grateful for . He has refused to help me hold the baby for even 5 minutes. To a point I have to bait the baby to sleep before I can use the bathroom or shower. I have no help I am holding the baby 24/7. I want to go back to work and have him drop one job so we can split turns with the baby . But he refuses.I feel burnt out and exhausted.😢 I am beginning to resent my husband I just don’t like the way I feel about him now .I hope I don’t go into postpartum depression or walk out of this marriage.
Yes! Thankyou! Love this!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
Dave -- i can relate --if my x wife had this way of understanding the relationship of the farthers way to parenting young children, we would still be married. I was not her perfect farther for our 4 kids after working 13 hours days for 30 years but i loved my children and was heartbroken when i had to leave.
I've been trying to explain this to people for years!
Thanks Agaun Kristina 👍
Love from Colorado 😊😎🤗
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But,a lot of women scares the dad away by saying that everything he does is wrong, my friend let her husband do everything his own way,she never commented on anything he did even though she would have done it quite differently. I think women should trust men more on this and not assume that the men has to be taught how to care for the baby. It's better the new mom and dad experience and find out together,and that they encourage each other.
Maybe the men should study the subject little bit before starting to do experiments eg. on the baby caring field. (Not saying that all the women understand the subject automatically either). I can not really get this "let them do it in their own way, because they feel bad otherwise". Why is it that often people either think that men could not excel in taking care of children and family tasks and/or that they would automatically know how to do things well? It by the way only increases the work load if the woman has to redo stuff because they were done incorrectly in the first place (or the child gets sick: seriously i was told once that the wife looked the other way when her husband was changing diapers to baby, because her husband always missed some poo while wiping baby clean, and she worried for infections, but did not want to discourage her husband from participating. I was totally disgusted by her advice to not discourage the man when he at least tries to do his share, and correcting makes the man FEEL BAD). In the work place, the other workers hopefully are not cleaning up after the man has performed poorly, and say nothing so that the worker man would not feel bad, because he was doing it in his "own way" (#sarcastically# "it is only natural that the other employees of the company secretly cover all the mistakes someone does so the person does not feel bad after making such a big effort" (but still unconsciously messing things up). I really commend that notion that the man does not "help the wife", but does his fair share of parenting and caring of the family unit. If you "help", you are only a visitor, not a parent of a family to whom participating is only doing ones own part of the duties, and helper is definetly not someone living under the same roof.
Thank you for making me laugh
LOVE THIS!!!
Amen and amen! I’ve said this for decades!
thank you for this!!! YES!!
Kristina you are amaizing. I've just finished your book. I've wanted to help other parents, mums like you do for a while, by watching you I've gotten the courage to vlog on you tube as well. Thank you for being you. Keep going.
That is the truth. Very wise
THAT IS SOOOOOOOOO NECESSARY!!! Clap Clap Clap! For more videos like this.
Yes!!! Thank you.
Great video and dayum gurl your skin is glowing!! How u make it like that?
I’m very glad this was exactly what I was expecting when I clicked on this video.
I am laughing like crazy 😂😂🤣
Aaaaaaaaamen!! And a fricking hallelujah Christina!!!♥️♥️♥️
That's hell of a video with a bang on explanation. 😁
I know you asked us to stop shaming dads....buuuuuuut how can we when the majority still need help with life??? I'm not sure how normal it is yet unfortunately for good male parenting to be expected and assumed... this is sad but true. I am happy to be wrong, am I wrong? also ladies, please consciously choose good partners and stop having kids with idiots and then more idiots can think that they can have their cake and eat it too... while the baby is crying and the house is falling apart... and theyre eating cake.
I love love this 😍
My ex husband would say that he is “ playing daddy”. It drives me nuts to hear that men “ babysit their kids” or helps. They helped create the children so they should be raising them.
I love this.
I've been saying this ever since my first was born. My husband doesn't help, he does his part of parenting 😊😊.
As he should be parenting the kids
You’re seriously awesome!!!
I went to pick up my other kids from school 3 blocks away. Left our youngest at home with him. I locked the door when I left. When I came home my door was unlocked and my two year old was GONE. GONE…. I would have to say something so simple as to watch his kids while I was gone for 30 minutes picking up our other children from school should have been a simple and doable task. Sometimes dads are a real issue when wanting to leave the children to be watched by them.
My husband is completely uncapable to take care of our baby. He really is, and im going nuts! Plus, he doesnt give a s*it. He works, pay some bills and "pretend" he cares.... Thats when i feel like a potencial killer. Is heartbreaking and exasperating! 😔
Samw
Yass!! Thank you!! Can't stand when people ask if my hubby is "babysitting" our kids 🤦🏻
Loooooove this!!!!💖 Never have I subscribed to someone after seeing ONE video before!
Amen sister you tell them!!
He's a great guy.