I don't care what orientation they are. The way they look at each other is amazing. Hope everything worked out for them and they are still happy together.
Why are the comments so negative? Not wanting sex isn't some horrible thing or a disorder....its just like not liking chocolate, not a crime, just is how it is
I like it having no sex, I really impressed with them its too good to listen... I hate sex, I just wanted a relation without sex looks so perfect, so pure so real..... Keep it up
n balaboon I'm asexual and I don't have colorful hair. They just happened to pick someone like that for the video. So what. Plenty of asexuals out there and you'd never even know.
Maggie Is pretty gr8 Its never ceases to amaze me just how dumb many people are. Not being interested in or not wanting sex is a disorder? Wow, are there really people this stupid sharing the same world as me?
@the thing Its different. For me, its not the same having a best friend as having a partner. Bestfriend is a person you like and get along with but live separate lifes. A partner IS someone you want to share your life with. Besides "Why would I want to buy her flowers and treat her good if shes not going to fuck me"... If a boy (or a girl) isnt willing to be just my best friend I dont think he could be my romantic partner. no offense
My boyfriend of two years is asexual and I wouldn't change him. We have talked about whether or not we ever will do it once we're married, however, I don't see a need for it right away. I hate how society judges people like him and this girl. So what if they don't look forward to sex or want it! They are still people who love
Spellcaster86 What a strange response to this really positive, loving comment. Humans are contradictory beings, and I'm sure you contratict yourself with quite a few things as well. It sounds like you really struggle with some aspects of sex (as do I) and you are are aiming it at this particular person, which is really unfair and uncalled for. Comment your feelings in a place that's appropriate, but not as a reply to another comment that has little to do with your insecurities.
You mean he is demisexual then ? waiting until marriage or waiting for the right person or time is demisexuality... personally I am completely asexual and I would never have sex with anyone, I have to get a test tube baby to have children as I would not do it any other way
@@jas7949 There's some Asexuals that have sex with their sexual partners not because they enjoy but because they want them to feel happy. They don't get nothing from it but it's just a physical chore. That's probably what she's referring to. Demisexuals actual enjoy the sex with the right person.
My partner is asexual. I am not. It was difficult in the beginning, and there are times when I still struggle with my own programming. However, I feel like I've grown as a person in this relationship. So much of our society is based in sex, and I never realized how much stress and anxiety that put on me. There is much more to loving someone romantically than whether or not sex is involved. Our relationship is refreshing, deep, and meaningful, and it honestly brings me joy to know that out of billions of people, regardless of sexual attraction, my love chose me to share the journey of life with. That is a beautiful thing. :)
I am in a relationship that I feel could definetely be long-lasting and my partner told me the same thing not so long ago. I am quite relieved to hear it was, and every now and then still is, a struggle, because I also felt some sort of fear when I was listening to them, but it really gives me hope, reading your comment and seeing what I hope will also be my situation. I'm kind of doing a bit of research for the relationship's progress and seeing this has made me happy. Thank you ^^
do you mind giving some advice? i’m dating someone who isn’t a really sexual person, i wouldn’t call them asexual because it’s from SA and trauma but i’m a sexual person and sometimes it’s hard for me because i do crave that sort of intimacy. i love them a lot and i’m not planning on ever breaking it off, i just need to find a way to deal with my feelings because i truly do love them, i just need some advice on how to find a way that it work for me and them, not just them and not just me:’)
Of course she's not being selfish about not having sex. Relationships are give and take, and this is one thing that he will either have to take it or leave. I'm one hundred percent sure that every single person has at least one thing that they cannot have in a relationship.
MaKayla Kincaid Don’t you think he will get what he needs from someone else though? Sex is no small thing to not have in a relationship. Sex is not something you lump in with “things we wish we had in a relationship”! Those things are usually trivial or sex makes up for it.
Dafodyll Lane Why does she have to prove her relationship to *you*, though, or any of us??? This is for our information, not our judgement. She doesn't need you to "fix her", 'kay???
Dafodyll Lane That's true for allot of people but not for people like this young woman. Her boyfriend is free to leave whenever he wants. Just as she said it was up to him. She is allowing him to have free will in deciding if the relationship is best for him or not she does care for his feelings. For people who are asexual sex is NOT an option. It may seem unreasonable to you because YOU are not asexual. Also allot of people have sexless marriages and relationships and do just fine. Quit projecting your view and sexuality on to her life. She understands the importance of sex in relationships and that is why she is open with her partner about her asexuality and let's him know that it is HIS choice to continue the relationship or leave. Thinking some on should be obligated to sleep with their partner to make them happy, is not valuing a conscentual sexual relations. If he knows what he is getting into when entering a relationship with her and is free to leave at any time there is no harm being done here expecting her to sleep with him because sex is so important for most people IS harmful and discusting. Also the OP wasn't talking about trivial things. Her point was about respecting your partner for who they are and if that means no blow jobs or threesomes or sex at all then you can either accept that or leave.
What’s wrong with lacking sexual attraction lmao. There’s much more to life than just sex, like, there’s a whole world of shit that isn’t just bad that you can go and enjoy. Sex isn’t all there is, especially not in a relationship.
Drewie the Unicorn We as a race, as well as all other animals are made to reproduce, we were build to want to, and to have sex. So when someone doesn't have the same idea or need to reproduce, it bizarre and hard to believe due to the animal kingdom's need for sex. I'm not saying this is weird, and that sex is the answer to good relationships(because i definitely don't believe that), I just think that's a reason why there's so much hate and questioning.
I know what you mean. I find it disgusting that there are people who think they can take advantage of an asexual once they earn their trust. There are even people out there that pretend to be Ace just for that reason, to be trusted by a real asexual.
Definitely. They want it in their bragging belt that they were good enough to turn an asexual "normal". It's an awful experience because once they realize they can't change you, they can get cruel.
I'm an asexual, like a lot of some people here My boyfriend is a sexual, and our relationship is (in my view) becoming a bit awkward but alright However, I'm kinda worried...because I think he (in a gentle and kind way) trying to, well, change me into a sexual too which, just makes me feel umcoftable and awkward He's a great, lovely guy! It's just...I don't know if he understands about me being an asexual
@@marianna9961 It's kind of like missing a sense. One that plays a large role in a lot of people's lives. Being unable to share that experience can be isolating.
If two asexuals date the relationship is just the same as any other just no sex. I'm asexual and I love being in a relationship, though I choose not to date right now.
If you can't even try to understand what a sexual need is, you're worse than these people who don't believe there are others sexual orientation than their own
Damn I honestly thought people would be more open to asexuality. I personally identify as an asexual, and it is NOT a mental disorder. I simply don't feel the need to ever have sex with anyone. Asexuality does not correspond to being molested as a child. One of my best friends was sadly molested, but she's pansexual. Everyone should hold their tongues and let people do whatever they wish.
xRea Games You said it! Are people seriously getting worked up over what a tiny percentage of the world is doing (or in this case, possibly not doing)? Doesn't affect them.
Thy Channel molestation shouldn’t be taken so lightheartedly. If you must know, no I was not. But my best friend was and (if you took the damn time to read my comment) is pansexual. A sexuality is a preference and I should be able to live on that preference.
i wish that I could meet someone who can understand the asexuality. Why sex should be the main point of any kinds of relationship.. i just love the person
Yeah me too but one thing I am most scared about is on first meeting I would be very upfront because of obvious reasons well I’m more open about my ace sexuality completely not wanting sex too like this couple, but I’m scared that they will freak out or say I’m broken etc or get really angry with me or try to harass me it sucks especially for those people who are so ignorant saying I can change that. This is why asexuality needs to be talked about. This video gives me a lot of hope it’s just hard sigh I hate being a downer but it’s real the possibilities to dating but I’ve accepted I don’t need a relationship but wouldn’t mind having one just start by being open minded ugh I’m just ranting no one needs to read this heh but I do wish asexuality was more talked about 🖤
I've been dating with an asexual for just over a year now and altough it was not always easy. There is definetly a way to make it work. I love my girlfriend and I wish to keep her by my side. One thing you must think when engaging yourself into such a relationship is that you might not understand the lack of sexual apetite and you need to be confident enought to keep a clear communication about how both of you feel about your relationship. What I found out until now is the relationship we built is way stronger than the ones I had previously because we besicly lack one of the cornerstone of regular couples. wich mean we work twice harder on the otherones like cuddling and long conversation. Nothing is perfect but at the end love is about loving the significant other for what they are and not what they could be.
Some of these comments just make the world's view on sex look utterly repulsive to me, like people are using it as a completely loveless act of lust and if you can't offer it to them your not worth it or something. How gross is that!
I'm someone who enjoys sex and is a sexual person with my fiance but that doesn't mean this is wrong everyone should accept others. let people live their lives. my thing has always been, if you aren't hurting yourself or another then fuck it. do what makes you happy.
Spellcaster86 I guess it can be special with the right person. I wouldn't know though, I have Aspergers with emotional problems combined with general insecurity so sex seems weird to me and these issues practically make it impossible anyway.
Spellcaster86 but it's a more intense release of dopamine if there is an emotional connection or "feelings" involved. That's what I mean. Obviously sex is not for everyone. But if it weren't for dopamine, nothing would get done.
I really needed this... Being a male ace is fucking hard when society and media all around me are pressuring me into thinking I have to only think about sex this and sex that. Not only that, but every girl I've tried to have romantic relationships with always seem to end up leaving me in such similar manner one after another I'm an asexual hopeless romantic and honestly, I'm okay with it. It's not like I'm in a rush to reproduce before I die or anything lol Edit: I grew up guys, I'm straight. I love sex. I love eating ass and pussy. I was just having confidence issues lol I was never ace.
I’m asexual and married, I was open with my husband and he had no problems with it. Some asexuals(like myself later in our relationship) do have sex to please their partners even though it’s not something that they themselves care for.
I'd love to talk more about this with you. I'm in a similar situation and I am very alone. When I first got together with my boyfriend I knew I wasn't going to want sex as much as a normal person (or at all), so I suggested an open relationship. We tried it and for the first time in my life, I felt jealous. I don't know how I feel about having an open relationship again because the power dynamic seems weird and he keeps talking about having another girlfriend live with us. I don't think I'd like another person living with us. It's a tough thing to talk about, hell even thinking about it is hard. If I may ask, what was an open relationship like for you?
@@SavageBear_YT It may have been two years but I feel I need to mention that having a polygamous relationship isn't for everyone and it's definetely should not be a form of compromise. He should either be content with only your relationship or you should break up. Unless your views about polygamy have changed or you're willing to have sex with him ocassionaly though it should really be a bonus instead of a requirement on your part.
_ZyLx _ Illnesses: disease or period of sickness that affecting the body and the mind. Asexuals bodies are intact, they think straight and have morals, they're not affecting anyone else with their choices, so Asexuality is not an illness.
Jesus!..And I thought that I was bizarre for not being sexually attracted to anyone..this video just 😢...Im so happy but Im still scared of dating and marriage
I just had to reply as I, only just watching this now 5 years on and I hope you are happy with who you are and where you are in life . . We don’t have to have everything figured out. Life is not linear and we can just live in the moment.
It’s nice to know that there are people out there who aren’t asexual but are willing to be in a relationship with an asexual person. That’s my biggest fear tbh, not finding someone like that. Bc I’ve never met another ace person and I have no reference for allo/ace relationships.
Every time I come out I get people assuming things about me. Like, I only turned 16 this year and automatically that means I'm too young to decide I'm Ace, which isn't how it works. I've known I'm Ace for two years now and people are just dumb and don't understand it. There's a reason Ace's ask for representation.
My step mum was totally fine with my 15 year old friend being pansexual but I as a 17 year old at the time i mentioned being asexual "just didn't have any experience" like are you kidding? I know what I like and don't like it doesn't matter about age. It's very frustrating
I came out to my mom as ace and the first thing she said to me was something along the lines of "are you really sure don't you think you're a little to young to be sure?" In the moment I really listened to what she had to say. I continued to question my sexuality not being too hasty to label myself as asexual. It's been like 3 years since then. But in the 3 years between 13 and 16 not to mention the rest of my life, I've never once, EVER wanted to have sex or had sexual feelings. Thinking about my coming out now I just really wish she would've been supportive saying something like "Thank you for telling me I love you all the same."
That's really cool that she could find someone who is not being selfish and pushing her to do things she doesn't want to do. It's okay to be in a sexless relationship. Sex does not make a relationship. Nor does it make it stronger. Trust, loyalty, love, caring, honestly, staying faithful, hard work, and sacrifices are what make a relationship. At least in my eyes and the eyes of a lot of others too.
@ojideagu You make men look like sex addicts. If the person is worth it, some of us will accept a relationship like this. @RaeOf Sunshine You are totally right. Sex is good, I won't deny but we must see the bigger picture and the things that are more important.
It's actually proven that men with no interest in sex is actually a possible medical condition. It can indicate low testosterone levels, diabetes, alcoholism, stress, depression or prostate cancer. A man who has no interest in sex under 70 has something wrong with him or his relationship in many cases. And it's been proven regular orgasm massages the prostate and is important in reducing prostate cancer.
Rae a man with no interest in anything sexual is a possible indicator of a health issue or no attraction to their wife unless they are 70 years or older.
@@BlueGuise9 Unfortunately, that seems to be a relatively common connection people make. My mother used to think that something must have happened to me as a child, but I just either didn't tell her about it or repressed the memory of it, and I was asked several times by my family if something like that has happened to me but I just didn't tell anyone.
I'm demisexual, which is in the middle of sexual and asexual, and I'm dating an asexual and there's no sexual attraction. most people confuse asexuality with never wanting to be in a relationship, but honestly we have a healthy romantic relationship and I love it.
I’m asexual and I’m always scared to tell people about it... On my university course there are people who are openly gay and generally everyone is very kind and accepting. But for asexuality I just feel like it’s more awkward to tell people about it, and it sucks. It gets a lot of prejudice like it’s not normal at all... If someone asks me what my sexuality is, I have no idea what to say because I honestly don’t know. I’m asexual but I love the idea of a romantic relationship, just without ever having sex. But male or female? I still don’t know. I don’t think I care, as long as they are a good person I guess... If I’m asexual the gender probably wouldn’t matter since the only real difference between men and women is our bodies, which I don’t care about because I don’t care about sex. So would that make me asexual and panromantic? Or bisexual? I’m so confused... mostly about what I’m supposed to tell people when asked about my sexuality, without having to explain it because it’s more obscure than just saying “straight” or “gay”... That’s much easier to say than having to explain “I think I’m asexual and panromantic/bisexual”, then I’ll have to have a whole conversation explaining what that actually means. And I’m so scared of getting judged for not wanting sex because it’s apparently “not normal” like there’s something wrong with me...
This is the kind of relationship I hope to have in the future where I won't feel the pressure to do anything sexual and just enjoy romantic things as holding hands, hugging, kissing and cuddling! 🥰
I'm ace and in my last relationship it was sexless, we were both too young anyway and my current relationship has remained and will remain sexless even if we are now of age. I think it's much easier for us as my girlfriend is also ace but we're still into romantic things, kissing and cuddling and love one another. Being ace is no mental disorder, I simply don't think having sex is a required part of a relationship and the thought of doing things of the sort is undesirable. Not only that but I can't see myself having sex with anyone, no matter how infatuated by them I am.
They posted a PUBLIC video. she could have gone her whole life in anonymity and no one would have given a fuck. She wanted the attention now she has it...good and the bad
I didn’t need anyone to tell me I was “being selfish” for denying sex from my BF. I told that to myself. Its hard sometimes because I don’t know what he’s thinking. He’s too sweet to always say when something bothers him and I worry that I’m making him unhappy. Every once in a while those thoughts bubble up and I talk to him about it and he always calms me down and reminds me that he’s with me because he wants to be, even without sex. It always makes me feel better seeing other aces having healthy relationships with non-aces :)
I am a asexual and i had 10yrs of sexless relationship (with diff guys) , but now in this 'lustful' world, i don't have much good hope for myself in the future. But such a positive video !! Jenny is a lucky girl !
I met this guy and it's been going great. I just came out to him and while he's been super understanding trying to talk about it tgt more, I honestly feel like me being asexual has ruined the chances of us working out
Did you see how sweet they are to each other? There's so much you can build on in a relationship besides sex and that goes for all orientations! Becuase at the end of the day, what do you have in a relationship if there isn't sex? Companionship. Friendship. Love. Plantonic interactions. Romance. Conversation. Emotions.
letdown that its assumed asexuality means "sexless" or that "they dont want sex"... lacking attraction isnt the same as being "uninterested". one ace partner doesnt make a relationship automatically "sexless". just want all aces to be included here, even if i fit the criteria of whats shared in the video
I think people are too easily confuse sex with intimacy , you can have romantic feelings with for people and not want to have sex with them. you can be intimate with your partner and not have sex and asexuality Its not celibacy
yeah, i find it easier to be upfront about it and casually mention that i'm waiting for marriage on first dates. If they can't deal with that, they move one. If they want to wait with me, they can. I don't care if they are virgins though. Their sexual history doesn't matter to me.
Honestly, this video made me open my eyes on asexuals dating non-asexuals. Its not sex that counts as intimacy, its the connection you feel with your partner. I focused way too much on that and it me forgot what I truly want in a relationship. Especially since I dated 2 people who were heavily into sex or sexual contact.
I don't want anything to do with sexual relationships,I would just kiss my partner,I don't want to do it because,well for one,I think it is gross,second if your doing it just to do it or,just to be in a relationship where it's just sex,idk why,but my friends bully me for it..
I don't even remember my reasoning for commenting this. I was in like sixth grade grade going through a phase, it wasn't actually being asexual, it was just me being a dumbass not going through puberty yet lmao. No, I'm not ace, it was just some utterly embarrassing comment I had made
Sexual here... I see ace hate as well as allo hate so I'll say this; There's nothing wrong with wanting sex in a relationship that meaningful just as valid as not wanting sex to go in a relationship. I've dated an ace/aro twice and for me both times was a shitty experience. One came out super later after a long soul searching during our time together and the other relationship went three weeks before she was not attracted physically or romantically. It left me with anger because I felt hurt and unattractive to be rejected a lot but in the end have a better understanding. Would I ever date an ace/aro person again? Absolutely not but it gave me an learning experience of the spectrum. Ace/aro are valid and deserve to have a happy relationship just as much as allos do. It's true that ace/aros may or may never understand why sex and attraction have meaning to allos as well as allos on understanding ace/aros perspective. But if the two want to be together then they need to be upfront and honest about themselves and each other.
I define myself as asexual, but in reality asexuality is nothing but old-fashioned sexual mentality. My grandma (born 1927) didn't like sex, she said once "Why did God put fucking sex on earth? I just like hugs and kisses not somebody who bothers me touching wherever", my parents too (Father born.1954 Mother born.1957) know that there are people who don't like sex but at their time they were not called asexuals because everybody were taught that have sex was a "marriage duty", well at least in my own country, italy. Asexuality in italy was very common during the 60's-70's.
How do asexual people find other asexual people who want to be in a relationship? I have come to wonder if I will ever meet anyone who I find attractive (in more ways than appearance) AND is asexual. It feels kinda hopeless :(
What I will say is if you express affection differently, one is very affectionate while the other isn't as much, that can cause conflicts. Not having as much sex is negotiable but in a day to day basis feeling like you can't show affection or have certain conversations can cause issues.
I didn't know I was asexual till I had sex a few times and was thoroughly disappointed. I identify as grey asexual which for me means that I have enough sexual urges to require masturbation, but the desire for real sex is minimal, and I only feel sexual attraction towards cirtain people. With a personal definition of my sexuality that complex, it's really no wonder why it took a little trial and error.
Yes, I totally understand you. Same for me. In my surroundings there is no one like me. I'm wondering if there is anybody who would accept me in a relationship. Good luck for you, dude! :)
@@poppycatz I see! Is this a newer term? I read about quite a few of the like, branches of asexuality a few years ago when my friend pointed out that I might be asexual, but I've never heard of this term before. I didn't mean any offense by calling myself asexual, but thank you for correcting me.
Asexuality is common. It's just natural. Accept that people are different. Accept that genitals do not dictate behavior. Aaaand accept that it's okay for others to be happy in different ways than you. Just because you enjoy sex doesnt mean it's not okay for someone else not to. You could be the juiciest, tastiest, ripest peach on the tree and someone in the world will still be allergic. Stop making everything personal. Nothing is about you. If you make other peoples existence an attack on you then that's your problem. You have a lot of self reflection to do and self adjustment to complete before you should open your mouth again. Asexual people are just as valid, important, and deserving of loving relationships as anyone else.
Most of my relationships have either been in elementary school or online so yeah....I've had _plenty_ of relationships without sex. And I probably never will considering the fact that i rralized recently that the thought of having sex kinda grosses me out even tho literally none of my friends are anywhere near virgins. Asexual over here
1% of the world is asexual, not the country. Also I hoped that this would say what it is like for the partner more. This is "what it is like to be asexual". I had hoped to know the perspective of my own boyfriend. This barely even mentioned the topic.
I think asexuality is more common than people think. Ever been in a relationship where it feels like you have to prod your partner to have sex, almost all the time and they have lots of avoidance behaviors? There are definitely signs if you look for them. Verbal signs as well as physical. I think its great that there are couples out there that can stay in a relationship with an asexual partner. I would bet that most couples who are experiencing sexual issues in their relationship are probably in a relationship with some type of an asexual person.
im asexual and its nothing odd really. people who treat it like its a weird thing dont really seem the simpler side of it, aka the fact that u just dont want to hook up with anyone. i have no problem with it. im not really into relationships or anything, cause i dont see myself having one, and i like platonic relationships or friendships more than regular love/couple relationships.
I'm asexual. And the only asexual I know of, except a coworker who is also aromantic. I sometimes worry that there's something wrong with me for lacking a sex drive. I used to think it was a result of childhood depression and pretty much missing out on that part of development. I'm the type of person who WOULD want to get my hormones checked but I'm also very lazy and don't like going outside (aka. Introverted). When I got together with my boyfriend I thought I was straight, totally negating all of my experiences with the women I had kissed previously. When I realized I'd kissed both men and women I theorized that I am bisexual, as asexual wasn't really a popular term or idea at the time. Now it's pretty clear that I'm asexual and I'm still in the relationship with my boyfriend of going on 6 years. Sometimes I notice when his "need" is growing (being the fairly average straight male that he is) and I make an effort to show affection in his language. Still though, I feel as though it's not enough and my worry plagues me day and night. Asexuality is troubling, I wish it were a thing I could fix, or I wish I knew about it earlier.
There’s nothing wrong with being ace, and you should never feel the need to fix yourself!!! You are a beautiful person, and being ace is completely normal. Hope your doing well!!!
I'm biromantic asexual and very happily so. Not broken, not sick, and happily in a relationship with my allosexual girlfriend. Sexual intercourse is NOT needed at all.
Watching her find a partner and being so comfortable and happy in being asexual is something I am now going to strive to become. Comfortable in who I am because there is nothing wrong with me and I can bd loved like this. Positive affirmations
I kinda see myself as asexual. But I like dating people, if they are the RIGHT. I have sex for the person I'm with, but its not a desire of mine like, at all. Its kind of like seeing a movie you really don't want to see to please your partner. Or doing something else for them you don't wanna do, just to be nice and as a "gift" or whatever? lol. But to do it a lot would get REALLY draining. And I like doing other things to kinda replace or for them "add to" sexual behaviors (like fetish, roleplay) so they get more out of a sexual experience, and I get out of it a little bit.... And I just kinda think fetish stuff is interesting in a mental aspect. I think people are attractive in other ways, just not sexually. I can see someone as attractive, but my thoughts don't get to that sexual place. I've had long lasting relationships and stuff. I'm sure they wished that things were more physical, but its not THAT much of an issue. Of coarse this won't work for everyone because some people are just TOO uncomfortable with sex (its not the funniest thing if you just can't get into it, no matter how much you love them or w/e) but... its not impossible.
Asexuality is a lack in sexual attraction. It’s nothing about whether you do the act or not, but if you have the attraction to it. Some people might participate in fetishes/kinks their partners have but that they personally feel no arousal or attraction to it themselves. Similar situation with sex; you can do it for the benefit of your partner while still not have any actual interest in it.
I have a moral dilemma. I'm in a strong relationship with someone who I know is asexual and I knew this before I ever fell for her. I never had any kind of sexual attraction to her up until recently and it worries me. I want to do everything in my power to make her happy and see her smile and as far as boundaries go I've kept well within hers. I don't want to have sex for a couple of years but I still find myself in this position and I need advice on how I should go about this sooner rather than later. I respect the daylights out of her and the last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable but I don't know if bottling this up is a good idea or not. Any takes?
How was she being selfish she told him what to expect and what not to expect from the relationship that’s all you can ever do😂 gosh maybe he’s being selfish to her people are ignorant.
As an asexual I think the way people see it is absurd, Asexual to me is: Not dating or seeing anybody and Not having urges, yearning or No interest in sex. Basically, rejoicing solitude and the restraint of sexual pleasure. Call me a Jedi.
I hate when people assume that asexuals and non asexual people can’t date. I dated an asexual and the only reason we broke up is becouse she physically abused me.
A lot of people are making comments here that seem to imply that a sex drive is a choice, it is not. A sex drive is part of your natural biological make up. So I dont get the bullying and shaming of people who are sexual beings.
I am asexual and panromantic, I am currently with a trans girl and by mutual agreement we have decided to love each other romantically ^^ We are happy living like this :D
Me to gener dosent matter me or the person looks Dosent matter me what their have betwen legs Only matter for me person and soul I just don't want to have sex with them😅
I have a lot of trouble comprehending how one can feel romantic attraction without any sexual attraction. I believe her, but it’s very hard to wrap my mind around.
Kay Cronin I am not asexual, but I can understand it now, after I was on antidepressants treatment for a while and it completely shut down my sex drive. I wanted to hug an to be kissed, to touch and to be touched aa much as ever. I just didn't want anything that was more... Intimate. To do with genetalia and sex
Kay Cronin I actually think it's weird that it's hard for ppl to wrap their heads around. I grew up in an environment where sex and romance are worlds apart..lol. It's fun to actually put thought into though. There's sex without love, love without sex, sex with lots of love and many shades in between. What gets me confused though is platonic sex, mainly "close friends " platonic sex. ???¿¿how does one *not* catch feels?? Like, i get not wanting a serious romantic relationship. But like...that has to be falling into the realm of a not very serious romantic relationship? Right??? But the main components of close relationships are: Platonic emotions, romantic emotions, and sexual emotions (not counting family or anything bc that would be super gross, platonic emotions can be family though however) platonic emotions can be as strong as romantic emotions, but still exist as a different concept entirely. Sexual emotions are just..sexual emotions
She's lying. Don't do mental gymnastics to figure it out. Sometimes a Looney is just a looney. It's just now they have a global platform to spread insecurities and rally impressionable youths who instead of addressing the real problems in their life will make up shit like asexual
Think of it like this, you love your mom, dad, siblings, but I'm pretty sure you don't wanna bang them right? (I mean, if you do, it's cool no judging, but most people wouldn't) So it's kind of like that. Think of it that way.
I’m glad I’m not alone in this orientation. Although I feel little to no sexual attraction toward others, I can’t help but feel pressured by my friend to get laid with some random stranger. At least the couple found a way to make this work, I’m glad for them.
Think of one person you would not feel sexual attraction to. Ya, everyone is like that for a lot of us asexual fellas(a few asexual people still feel little sexual attraction)
I am an demisexual genderfluid person , my husband ( :0 yes asexuals get married !!) is bisexual , mind my husband and I do have a sex life doesn’t mean that makes me any less asexual than journey that doesn’t .... asexualilty simply means you don’t experience sexual attraction. Nothing wrong with that.
00:31 Well I'm asexual, and I had sex like hundreds of times until I realized it's a thing... and I still don't like it.. so yep, I'm 200% sure that I dont.
Don't be mean to ace people. Like me, they don't have traumatic experiences or whatever. Out of the so many people on earth can you stand to have a few not interested in sex
For me it's more in between...sort of. I don't see people as sexually attractive unless I develop a connection with them first. I do find people attractive but not in a sexual sense, nor would I want intimacy with them unless I develop a connection with them. Demisexuality is a bitch when you have friends that you develop feelings for though. 😕
I feel your pain. I'm a panromantic demisexual, and it sucks ass because I have ended up with a crush on all of my friends at least once. This is why I don't talk to people anymore. :/
That's so strange! You dont want to have sex with people unless you develop a connection? How odd 🙄🙄🙄 totally makes sense that it needs it's own word and it's not like, a normal part of the human experience....
I'm demisexual and I've been in plenty of sexless relationships. I'm more of a cuddler anyway- don't get me wrong though I have had at least 2 relationships who were mad about me not giving them anything but they were middle school relationships and at 12 you shouldn't be focused on that in my opinion
Honestly, I wish I was like her. I'm too much the opposite. I feel like one could be happier being asexual. You don't seem to worry about sex and the status of sex, and I find that amazing.
Did anyone notice how she got bubblier and happier the moment he came? THAT was so cute gosh!
I know I noticed she seemed a bit nervous or embarrassed talking about it and describing it
not even just trying to be funny. this was the first comment i saw before i finished the video and i was very confused.
I don't care what orientation they are. The way they look at each other is amazing. Hope everything worked out for them and they are still happy together.
Why are the comments so negative? Not wanting sex isn't some horrible thing or a disorder....its just like not liking chocolate, not a crime, just is how it is
I like it having no sex, I really impressed with them its too good to listen... I hate sex, I just wanted a relation without sex looks so perfect, so pure so real..... Keep it up
n balaboon I'm asexual and I don't have colorful hair. They just happened to pick someone like that for the video. So what. Plenty of asexuals out there and you'd never even know.
It IS a disorder 😂 omfg
Maggie Is pretty gr8 Its never ceases to amaze me just how dumb many people are. Not being interested in or not wanting sex is a disorder? Wow, are there really people this stupid sharing the same world as me?
11 11 we are literally made to breed dumbass
Im currently dating a asexual and its like having a really romantic best friend that is always there for you
Me too, and she tolerates sex because she knows I want it.
An*
Im Ace and _"Really romantic best friend"_ is like all I want in a relationship so Im happy for you
Just without the best part
@the thing Its different. For me, its not the same having a best friend as having a partner. Bestfriend is a person you like and get along with but live separate lifes. A partner IS someone you want to share your life with.
Besides "Why would I want to buy her flowers and treat her good if shes not going to fuck me"... If a boy (or a girl) isnt willing to be just my best friend I dont think he could be my romantic partner. no offense
Damn, I'm asexual and that's the kind of relationship I could only dream of having.
Mooood
@@JJ-ec9lp I'm asexual and Panromantic aswell as Gender Fluid I understand the feel.
@Epic Cow Asexual is Us now get out you Acephobic
Same tho
@@singbin Its a point yet we chose to be ace the way we figure it out isnt always through sex.
My boyfriend of two years is asexual and I wouldn't change him. We have talked about whether or not we ever will do it once we're married, however, I don't see a need for it right away. I hate how society judges people like him and this girl. So what if they don't look forward to sex or want it! They are still people who love
Spellcaster86 What a strange response to this really positive, loving comment. Humans are contradictory beings, and I'm sure you contratict yourself with quite a few things as well. It sounds like you really struggle with some aspects of sex (as do I) and you are are aiming it at this particular person, which is really unfair and uncalled for. Comment your feelings in a place that's appropriate, but not as a reply to another comment that has little to do with your insecurities.
You mean he is demisexual then ? waiting until marriage or waiting for the right person or time is demisexuality... personally I am completely asexual and I would never have sex with anyone, I have to get a test tube baby to have children as I would not do it any other way
@@jas7949 There's some Asexuals that have sex with their sexual partners not because they enjoy but because they want them to feel happy. They don't get nothing from it but it's just a physical chore. That's probably what she's referring to. Demisexuals actual enjoy the sex with the right person.
Would you mind if he got sex somewhere else? I'm just curious !
@@luciferpitchblack3217 Why would he get sex somewhere else? He's asexual. Doesn't enjoy sex.
My partner is asexual. I am not. It was difficult in the beginning, and there are times when I still struggle with my own programming. However, I feel like I've grown as a person in this relationship. So much of our society is based in sex, and I never realized how much stress and anxiety that put on me. There is much more to loving someone romantically than whether or not sex is involved. Our relationship is refreshing, deep, and meaningful, and it honestly brings me joy to know that out of billions of people, regardless of sexual attraction, my love chose me to share the journey of life with. That is a beautiful thing. :)
People like you give me so much hope
I am in a relationship that I feel could definetely be long-lasting and my partner told me the same thing not so long ago. I am quite relieved to hear it was, and every now and then still is, a struggle, because I also felt some sort of fear when I was listening to them, but it really gives me hope, reading your comment and seeing what I hope will also be my situation.
I'm kind of doing a bit of research for the relationship's progress and seeing this has made me happy. Thank you ^^
Jane Metcalfe I am asexual but do sex with my partner because he isn’t asexual its hard at times though. Luckily relationship is more then just sex.
do you mind giving some advice? i’m dating someone who isn’t a really sexual person, i wouldn’t call them asexual because it’s from SA and trauma but i’m a sexual person and sometimes it’s hard for me because i do crave that sort of intimacy. i love them a lot and i’m not planning on ever breaking it off, i just need to find a way to deal with my feelings because i truly do love them, i just need some advice on how to find a way that it work for me and them, not just them and not just me:’)
You just made a point about asexuality being a superior form of lifestyle. This elitism doesn't help people feel empathy towards asexuals.
I’d love to be her friend
Kovu is a unicorn kovu!!!!
Hello kovu! I'm sure all asexual people want to be your friend too!
I saw your comment on another video too, yourw asexual gay, right
Yes, it's called homoromantic asexual where you are romantically attracted to the same gender, but do not have sexual attraction.
Kovu Kingsrod Same Kovu, same
Of course she's not being selfish about not having sex. Relationships are give and take, and this is one thing that he will either have to take it or leave. I'm one hundred percent sure that every single person has at least one thing that they cannot have in a relationship.
MaKayla Kincaid Don’t you think he will get what he needs from someone else though? Sex is no small thing to not have in a relationship. Sex is not something you lump in with “things we wish we had in a relationship”! Those things are usually trivial or sex makes up for it.
Dafodyll Lane Why does she have to prove her relationship to *you*, though, or any of us??? This is for our information, not our judgement. She doesn't need you to "fix her", 'kay???
Dafodyll Lane That's true for allot of people but not for people like this young woman. Her boyfriend is free to leave whenever he wants. Just as she said it was up to him. She is allowing him to have free will in deciding if the relationship is best for him or not she does care for his feelings. For people who are asexual sex is NOT an option. It may seem unreasonable to you because YOU are not asexual. Also allot of people have sexless marriages and relationships and do just fine. Quit projecting your view and sexuality on to her life.
She understands the importance of sex in relationships and that is why she is open with her partner about her asexuality and let's him know that it is HIS choice to continue the relationship or leave.
Thinking some on should be obligated to sleep with their partner to make them happy, is not valuing a conscentual sexual relations. If he knows what he is getting into when entering a relationship with her and is free to leave at any time there is no harm being done here expecting her to sleep with him because sex is so important for most people IS harmful and discusting.
Also the OP wasn't talking about trivial things. Her point was about respecting your partner for who they are and if that means no blow jobs or threesomes or sex at all then you can either accept that or leave.
Emilie Burns 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 YES.
MaKayla Kincaid it's a she nigga
What’s wrong with lacking sexual attraction lmao. There’s much more to life than just sex, like, there’s a whole world of shit that isn’t just bad that you can go and enjoy. Sex isn’t all there is, especially not in a relationship.
Drewie the Unicorn THANK YOU, I’m happy there’s at least one smart person in this comment section
Drewie the Unicorn We as a race, as well as all other animals are made to reproduce, we were build to want to, and to have sex. So when someone doesn't have the same idea or need to reproduce, it bizarre and hard to believe due to the animal kingdom's need for sex. I'm not saying this is weird, and that sex is the answer to good relationships(because i definitely don't believe that), I just think that's a reason why there's so much hate and questioning.
Squidney The Squid Ahhh I get that. I just wish people could look at things with an open mind.
I'm EmøBandTrash hahaha I’m glad you think so 💕
It's bc we live in such a sex crazed world
Her hair is iconic honestly
Ikr
ryan ross hello fellow Ryan
its aposematism.
Self delusion
CITTYM hair is never good for a representative
Most people see her “odd” hair or her “emo or gay” style what I see is a nice outgoing person
Kai • samee
also this girl is going to OXFORD that is really impressive :O
Kai • "outgoing" you don't even know her dumb ass
_ZyLx _ I said I see her as outgoing. I didn’t say she is outgoing.... so get a life and stop trying to put others down with you’re stupidness
Kai • I love her style it's cute
I keep feeling like a lot of sexual people date asexual people hoping they will one day change...
probably.
Speaking from experience as an asexual person, this is definitely true.
I know what you mean. I find it disgusting that there are people who think they can take advantage of an asexual once they earn their trust. There are even people out there that pretend to be Ace just for that reason, to be trusted by a real asexual.
Definitely. They want it in their bragging belt that they were good enough to turn an asexual "normal". It's an awful experience because once they realize they can't change you, they can get cruel.
I'm an asexual, like a lot of some people here My boyfriend is a sexual, and our relationship is (in my view) becoming a bit awkward but alright However, I'm kinda worried...because I think he (in a gentle and kind way) trying to, well, change me into a sexual too which, just makes me feel umcoftable and awkward He's a great, lovely guy! It's just...I don't know if he understands about me being an asexual
it just boggles my mind somebody would get upset about asexuality. there is NOTHING to be upset about, THERE IS NO SEX
You know there's more to it than that.
@@BlueGuise9 what else is there? like what is there to be mad at
@@marianna9961 It's kind of like missing a sense. One that plays a large role in a lot of people's lives. Being unable to share that experience can be isolating.
@Account One What?
@@BlueGuise9 so what? Who are you to talk about aseuality if you are not asexual? I am and I feel better being like this then lying to myself
If two asexuals date the relationship is just the same as any other just no sex. I'm asexual and I love being in a relationship, though I choose not to date right now.
How about now?
If you dont know how to make your significant other happy without sticking your junk in them then i feel really sad for you.
True
Thats normal though... These comments... I gotta leave before i say something stupid
THANK YOU finally
If you can't even try to understand what a sexual need is, you're worse than these people who don't believe there are others sexual orientation than their own
Buy them food
Damn I honestly thought people would be more open to asexuality.
I personally identify as an asexual, and it is NOT a mental disorder. I simply don't feel the need to ever have sex with anyone. Asexuality does not correspond to being molested as a child. One of my best friends was sadly molested, but she's pansexual. Everyone should hold their tongues and let people do whatever they wish.
xRea Games You said it! Are people seriously getting worked up over what a tiny percentage of the world is doing (or in this case, possibly not doing)? Doesn't affect them.
xRea Games Its just honestly annoying that personal beliefs and preferences become a sexuality.
Thy Channel molestation shouldn’t be taken so lightheartedly. If you must know, no I was not. But my best friend was and (if you took the damn time to read my comment) is pansexual. A sexuality is a preference and I should be able to live on that preference.
xRea Games have you tried checking out if not some type of disorder
Thy Channel use correct grammar, please ;)
i wish that I could meet someone who can understand the asexuality. Why sex should be the main point of any kinds of relationship.. i just love the person
you only know how to think about yourself.
@@morbiddiathesis4428 stfu and get your head out of your pants for once, there's more to life than what's in there
this gives me hope for having a partner in the future, thank you for making and posting this
exactly. I worried about exactly what she said, that by not wanting sex I was being selfish. I can only hope I find someone who understands.
Yeah me too but one thing I am most scared about is on first meeting I would be very upfront because of obvious reasons well I’m more open about my ace sexuality completely not wanting sex too like this couple, but I’m scared that they will freak out or say I’m broken etc or get really angry with me or try to harass me it sucks especially for those people who are so ignorant saying I can change that. This is why asexuality needs to be talked about. This video gives me a lot of hope it’s just hard sigh I hate being a downer but it’s real the possibilities to dating but I’ve accepted I don’t need a relationship but wouldn’t mind having one just start by being open minded ugh I’m just ranting no one needs to read this heh but I do wish asexuality was more talked about 🖤
I've been dating with an asexual for just over a year now and altough it was not always easy. There is definetly a way to make it work. I love my girlfriend and I wish to keep her by my side. One thing you must think when engaging yourself into such a relationship is that you might not understand the lack of sexual apetite and you need to be confident enought to keep a clear communication about how both of you feel about your relationship.
What I found out until now is the relationship we built is way stronger than the ones I had previously because we besicly lack one of the cornerstone of regular couples. wich mean we work twice harder on the otherones like cuddling and long conversation. Nothing is perfect but at the end love is about loving the significant other for what they are and not what they could be.
Some of these comments just make the world's view on sex look utterly repulsive to me, like people are using it as a completely loveless act of lust and if you can't offer it to them your not worth it or something. How gross is that!
so true
I'm someone who enjoys sex and is a sexual person with my fiance but that doesn't mean this is wrong everyone should accept others. let people live their lives. my thing has always been, if you aren't hurting yourself or another then fuck it. do what makes you happy.
I thought this comment was gonna be so nasty but it turned out to be rlly sweet an now i'm crying ^^
Spellcaster86 I guess it can be special with the right person. I wouldn't know though, I have Aspergers with emotional problems combined with general insecurity so sex seems weird to me and these issues practically make it impossible anyway.
Spellcaster86 but it's a more intense release of dopamine if there is an emotional connection or "feelings" involved. That's what I mean. Obviously sex is not for everyone. But if it weren't for dopamine, nothing would get done.
I really needed this... Being a male ace is fucking hard when society and media all around me are pressuring me into thinking I have to only think about sex this and sex that. Not only that, but every girl I've tried to have romantic relationships with always seem to end up leaving me in such similar manner one after another
I'm an asexual hopeless romantic and honestly, I'm okay with it. It's not like I'm in a rush to reproduce before I die or anything lol
Edit: I grew up guys, I'm straight. I love sex. I love eating ass and pussy. I was just having confidence issues lol
I was never ace.
I came up with a character who is a biromantic asexual person
@@RandomSkyeRoses I have an ace character too.
@@ArtfulCosumDust what is your story about?
omg same, im female ace and a hopeless romantic, its so difficult lmao
Kyaaa, iam asexual very romantic girl too!
I’m asexual and married, I was open with my husband and he had no problems with it. Some asexuals(like myself later in our relationship) do have sex to please their partners even though it’s not something that they themselves care for.
I'd love to talk more about this with you. I'm in a similar situation and I am very alone. When I first got together with my boyfriend I knew I wasn't going to want sex as much as a normal person (or at all), so I suggested an open relationship. We tried it and for the first time in my life, I felt jealous. I don't know how I feel about having an open relationship again because the power dynamic seems weird and he keeps talking about having another girlfriend live with us. I don't think I'd like another person living with us. It's a tough thing to talk about, hell even thinking about it is hard. If I may ask, what was an open relationship like for you?
@@SavageBear_YT It may have been two years but I feel I need to mention that having a polygamous relationship isn't for everyone and it's definetely should not be a form of compromise. He should either be content with only your relationship or you should break up. Unless your views about polygamy have changed or you're willing to have sex with him ocassionaly though it should really be a bonus instead of a requirement on your part.
I dated someone who was asexual. And it was 100% okay. We talked through what that would mean for us, and it was a great time in my life :)
_ZyLx _ please rephrase that, I have no clue what you just said. Thanks!
_ZyLx _
Illnesses: disease or period of sickness that affecting the body and the mind.
Asexuals bodies are intact, they think straight and have morals, they're not affecting anyone else with their choices, so Asexuality is not an illness.
zy lix libido is just sex drive. So your telling me sex drive means metal illness?
Jesus!..And I thought that I was bizarre for not being sexually attracted to anyone..this video just 😢...Im so happy but Im still scared of dating and marriage
Dont worry, you're not alone and ur not weird at all.
@@zach3394 thank you..it feels so nice knowing that strangers could give me so much support...❤
I just had to reply as I, only just watching this now 5 years on and I hope you are happy with who you are and where you are in life . . We don’t have to have everything figured out. Life is not linear and we can just live in the moment.
It’s nice to know that there are people out there who aren’t asexual but are willing to be in a relationship with an asexual person. That’s my biggest fear tbh, not finding someone like that. Bc I’ve never met another ace person and I have no reference for allo/ace relationships.
Every time I come out I get people assuming things about me. Like, I only turned 16 this year and automatically that means I'm too young to decide I'm Ace, which isn't how it works. I've known I'm Ace for two years now and people are just dumb and don't understand it. There's a reason Ace's ask for representation.
ikr its like when people say teens cant be depressed like they have emotions dumbasses
My step mum was totally fine with my 15 year old friend being pansexual but I as a 17 year old at the time i mentioned being asexual "just didn't have any experience" like are you kidding? I know what I like and don't like it doesn't matter about age. It's very frustrating
I came out to my mom as ace and the first thing she said to me was something along the lines of "are you really sure don't you think you're a little to young to be sure?" In the moment I really listened to what she had to say. I continued to question my sexuality not being too hasty to label myself as asexual. It's been like 3 years since then. But in the 3 years between 13 and 16 not to mention the rest of my life, I've never once, EVER wanted to have sex or had sexual feelings. Thinking about my coming out now I just really wish she would've been supportive saying something like "Thank you for telling me I love you all the same."
I'm 15 I have the same problem /_ /
That's really cool that she could find someone who is not being selfish and pushing her to do things she doesn't want to do. It's okay to be in a sexless relationship. Sex does not make a relationship. Nor does it make it stronger. Trust, loyalty, love, caring, honestly, staying faithful, hard work, and sacrifices are what make a relationship. At least in my eyes and the eyes of a lot of others too.
RaeOf Sunshine "It's ok to be in a sexless relationship" Only a woman would say that
@ojideagu You make men look like sex addicts. If the person is worth it, some of us will accept a relationship like this. @RaeOf Sunshine You are totally right. Sex is good, I won't deny but we must see the bigger picture and the things that are more important.
ojideagu That's not true. You haven't asked every single man in the world.
It's actually proven that men with no interest in sex is actually a possible medical condition. It can indicate low testosterone levels, diabetes, alcoholism, stress, depression or prostate cancer. A man who has no interest in sex under 70 has something wrong with him or his relationship in many cases. And it's been proven regular orgasm massages the prostate and is important in reducing prostate cancer.
Rae a man with no interest in anything sexual is a possible indicator of a health issue or no attraction to their wife unless they are 70 years or older.
I’m ace. So is my husband. But we have 2 kids!
I hope they were adopted
@@lepetitchat123 why?
What is ace?
@@BlueGuise9 Ace is the most common shortening for asexual.
@@Morneion Oh ok, thanks!
1:16 I was molested as a child and a teen and became asexual. But even then it's still NOT an OK question to ask ANYONE!!!!
I'm surprised people asked her that. This is the first I've heard of such a connection.
@@BlueGuise9 Unfortunately, that seems to be a relatively common connection people make. My mother used to think that something must have happened to me as a child, but I just either didn't tell her about it or repressed the memory of it, and I was asked several times by my family if something like that has happened to me but I just didn't tell anyone.
@@Dracokitten2 I suppose I'm lucky in that no one in my family asks why or cares that I'm asexual.
I'm demisexual, which is in the middle of sexual and asexual, and I'm dating an asexual and there's no sexual attraction. most people confuse asexuality with never wanting to be in a relationship, but honestly we have a healthy romantic relationship and I love it.
I’m asexual and I’m always scared to tell people about it... On my university course there are people who are openly gay and generally everyone is very kind and accepting. But for asexuality I just feel like it’s more awkward to tell people about it, and it sucks. It gets a lot of prejudice like it’s not normal at all... If someone asks me what my sexuality is, I have no idea what to say because I honestly don’t know. I’m asexual but I love the idea of a romantic relationship, just without ever having sex. But male or female? I still don’t know. I don’t think I care, as long as they are a good person I guess... If I’m asexual the gender probably wouldn’t matter since the only real difference between men and women is our bodies, which I don’t care about because I don’t care about sex. So would that make me asexual and panromantic? Or bisexual? I’m so confused... mostly about what I’m supposed to tell people when asked about my sexuality, without having to explain it because it’s more obscure than just saying “straight” or “gay”... That’s much easier to say than having to explain “I think I’m asexual and panromantic/bisexual”, then I’ll have to have a whole conversation explaining what that actually means. And I’m so scared of getting judged for not wanting sex because it’s apparently “not normal” like there’s something wrong with me...
No one cares about your junk lol
This is the kind of relationship I hope to have in the future where I won't feel the pressure to do anything sexual and just enjoy romantic things as holding hands, hugging, kissing and cuddling! 🥰
I'm ace and in my last relationship it was sexless, we were both too young anyway and my current relationship has remained and will remain sexless even if we are now of age. I think it's much easier for us as my girlfriend is also ace but we're still into romantic things, kissing and cuddling and love one another. Being ace is no mental disorder, I simply don't think having sex is a required part of a relationship and the thought of doing things of the sort is undesirable. Not only that but I can't see myself having sex with anyone, no matter how infatuated by them I am.
People r what they r. Just leave them alone.
Lenocas Nascimento Asexual can't happen to humans dumbass
If you have no interest in sex, that's called low libido, which is a medical condition.
They posted a PUBLIC video. she could have gone her whole life in anonymity and no one would have given a fuck. She wanted the attention now she has it...good and the bad
I mean if there’s 99% of people who are the same, then there’s some sort of anomaly, or abnormality. It is a disorder by definition.
Lenocas Nascimento this is why there how they are cause people are suck ups
I didn’t need anyone to tell me I was “being selfish” for denying sex from my BF. I told that to myself. Its hard sometimes because I don’t know what he’s thinking. He’s too sweet to always say when something bothers him and I worry that I’m making him unhappy. Every once in a while those thoughts bubble up and I talk to him about it and he always calms me down and reminds me that he’s with me because he wants to be, even without sex. It always makes me feel better seeing other aces having healthy relationships with non-aces :)
I am a asexual and i had 10yrs of sexless relationship (with diff guys) , but now in this 'lustful' world, i don't have much good hope for myself in the future.
But such a positive video !! Jenny is a lucky girl !
I met this guy and it's been going great. I just came out to him and while he's been super understanding trying to talk about it tgt more, I honestly feel like me being asexual has ruined the chances of us working out
just means that they’re not right for you
Did you see how sweet they are to each other? There's so much you can build on in a relationship besides sex and that goes for all orientations! Becuase at the end of the day, what do you have in a relationship if there isn't sex? Companionship. Friendship. Love. Plantonic interactions. Romance. Conversation. Emotions.
Hopefully more likes
letdown that its assumed asexuality means "sexless" or that "they dont want sex"... lacking attraction isnt the same as being "uninterested". one ace partner doesnt make a relationship automatically "sexless". just want all aces to be included here, even if i fit the criteria of whats shared in the video
I think people are too easily confuse sex with intimacy , you can have romantic feelings with for people and not want to have sex with them. you can be intimate with your partner and not have sex and asexuality Its not celibacy
lol i'm not asexual but all my relationships have been sexless because i'm waiting for marriage. I will admit that i have a low sex drive though.
yeah, i find it easier to be upfront about it and casually mention that i'm waiting for marriage on first dates. If they can't deal with that, they move one. If they want to wait with me, they can. I don't care if they are virgins though. Their sexual history doesn't matter to me.
Avbitten I find your last comment really awesome to be honest, good for you for being so open minded and non judgemental!
Avbitten not a fucking Christian
guess what? i'm also an athiest. lol, waiting for marriage doesn't have to be connected to religion.
Do virgins naturally have a low sex drive? because I do too I think
If rainbow dash was human
Honestly, this video made me open my eyes on asexuals dating non-asexuals. Its not sex that counts as intimacy, its the connection you feel with your partner. I focused way too much on that and it me forgot what I truly want in a relationship. Especially since I dated 2 people who were heavily into sex or sexual contact.
I don't want anything to do with sexual relationships,I would just kiss my partner,I don't want to do it because,well for one,I think it is gross,second if your doing it just to do it or,just to be in a relationship where it's just sex,idk why,but my friends bully me for it..
You don't find kissing any less gross?
I don't even remember my reasoning for commenting this. I was in like sixth grade grade going through a phase, it wasn't actually being asexual, it was just me being a dumbass not going through puberty yet lmao. No, I'm not ace, it was just some utterly embarrassing comment I had made
@@alanunia7437 u still with ur partner?
I think we've all been asked the question, "Did something happen in your past that made you this way?"
Sexual here... I see ace hate as well as allo hate so I'll say this; There's nothing wrong with wanting sex in a relationship that meaningful just as valid as not wanting sex to go in a relationship. I've dated an ace/aro twice and for me both times was a shitty experience. One came out super later after a long soul searching during our time together and the other relationship went three weeks before she was not attracted physically or romantically. It left me with anger because I felt hurt and unattractive to be rejected a lot but in the end have a better understanding. Would I ever date an ace/aro person again? Absolutely not but it gave me an learning experience of the spectrum. Ace/aro are valid and deserve to have a happy relationship just as much as allos do. It's true that ace/aros may or may never understand why sex and attraction have meaning to allos as well as allos on understanding ace/aros perspective. But if the two want to be together then they need to be upfront and honest about themselves and each other.
I define myself as asexual, but in reality asexuality is nothing but old-fashioned sexual mentality. My grandma (born 1927) didn't like sex, she said once "Why did God put fucking sex on earth? I just like hugs and kisses not somebody who bothers me touching wherever", my parents too (Father born.1954 Mother born.1957) know that there are people who don't like sex but at their time they were not called asexuals because everybody were taught that have sex was a "marriage duty", well at least in my own country, italy. Asexuality in italy was very common during the 60's-70's.
How do asexual people find other asexual people who want to be in a relationship? I have come to wonder if I will ever meet anyone who I find attractive (in more ways than appearance) AND is asexual. It feels kinda hopeless :(
Not wanting sex and No sexual attraction are two different things....
Wow, great video! I'm a female asexual in an amazing relationship with a very understanding boyfriend!
What I will say is if you express affection differently, one is very affectionate while the other isn't as much, that can cause conflicts. Not having as much sex is negotiable but in a day to day basis feeling like you can't show affection or have certain conversations can cause issues.
I didn't know I was asexual till I had sex a few times and was thoroughly disappointed. I identify as grey asexual which for me means that I have enough sexual urges to require masturbation, but the desire for real sex is minimal, and I only feel sexual attraction towards cirtain people. With a personal definition of my sexuality that complex, it's really no wonder why it took a little trial and error.
I love her personality and her punk/free spirit style. I legit would love to be her friend, she just seems like such a fun person to be around.
I'm a mostly asexual guy. How would you recommend I meet asexual girls? Because attraction is normally what brings couples together...
JackStrait Have you checked out AVEN? Great online community for support, discussion, meet ups etc.
Yes, I totally understand you. Same for me. In my surroundings there is no one like me. I'm wondering if there is anybody who would accept me in a relationship. Good luck for you, dude! :)
online dating
Get toys to play with whenever you feel the need. You dont need anyone just to satisfay your needs.
He seems so understanding, as long as they are happy who cares!
her boyfriend is cute
I’m happy for her. I hope she’s still with him. They deserve each other. 😊❤
I want a Tim in my live...
Wow! I’m really surprised by how much she enjoys physical contact. Kissing, touching, resting her arms on her partner etc. This was NOT my experience…
I am a sex repulsed asexual and I one day hope to have a fulfilling relationship with someone
Same sis
@@vendetta7566 comrade 😢
Same here, but right now, I think it's best to focus on my education
@@poppycatz I see! Is this a newer term? I read about quite a few of the like, branches of asexuality a few years ago when my friend pointed out that I might be asexual, but I've never heard of this term before. I didn't mean any offense by calling myself asexual, but thank you for correcting me.
Asexuality is common. It's just natural. Accept that people are different. Accept that genitals do not dictate behavior. Aaaand accept that it's okay for others to be happy in different ways than you. Just because you enjoy sex doesnt mean it's not okay for someone else not to. You could be the juiciest, tastiest, ripest peach on the tree and someone in the world will still be allergic. Stop making everything personal. Nothing is about you. If you make other peoples existence an attack on you then that's your problem. You have a lot of self reflection to do and self adjustment to complete before you should open your mouth again. Asexual people are just as valid, important, and deserving of loving relationships as anyone else.
Most of my relationships have either been in elementary school or online so yeah....I've had _plenty_ of relationships without sex. And I probably never will considering the fact that i rralized recently that the thought of having sex kinda grosses me out even tho literally none of my friends are anywhere near virgins. Asexual over here
Virginity rocks💀
1% of the world is asexual, not the country.
Also I hoped that this would say what it is like for the partner more. This is "what it is like to be asexual". I had hoped to know the perspective of my own boyfriend. This barely even mentioned the topic.
I think asexuality is more common than people think. Ever been in a relationship where it feels like you have to prod your partner to have sex, almost all the time and they have lots of avoidance behaviors? There are definitely signs if you look for them. Verbal signs as well as physical. I think its great that there are couples out there that can stay in a relationship with an asexual partner. I would bet that most couples who are experiencing sexual issues in their relationship are probably in a relationship with some type of an asexual person.
im asexual and its nothing odd really. people who treat it like its a weird thing dont really seem the simpler side of it, aka the fact that u just dont want to hook up with anyone. i have no problem with it. im not really into relationships or anything, cause i dont see myself having one, and i like platonic relationships or friendships more than regular love/couple relationships.
They seem happy together, which is the most important thing. Love her hair.
I am sexual person and I think I would enjoy a relationship with an asexual.
Thank you so much for doing a piece on Asexuality!!
I'm asexual. And the only asexual I know of, except a coworker who is also aromantic. I sometimes worry that there's something wrong with me for lacking a sex drive. I used to think it was a result of childhood depression and pretty much missing out on that part of development. I'm the type of person who WOULD want to get my hormones checked but I'm also very lazy and don't like going outside (aka. Introverted). When I got together with my boyfriend I thought I was straight, totally negating all of my experiences with the women I had kissed previously. When I realized I'd kissed both men and women I theorized that I am bisexual, as asexual wasn't really a popular term or idea at the time. Now it's pretty clear that I'm asexual and I'm still in the relationship with my boyfriend of going on 6 years. Sometimes I notice when his "need" is growing (being the fairly average straight male that he is) and I make an effort to show affection in his language. Still though, I feel as though it's not enough and my worry plagues me day and night. Asexuality is troubling, I wish it were a thing I could fix, or I wish I knew about it earlier.
There’s nothing wrong with being ace, and you should never feel the need to fix yourself!!! You are a beautiful person, and being ace is completely normal. Hope your doing well!!!
This is a video that should be shown in schools. Yes, sex is normal, but so is not desiring it.
Stay safe,
Win Xx 🖤⚫🤍🟪
I'm biromantic asexual and very happily so. Not broken, not sick, and happily in a relationship with my allosexual girlfriend. Sexual intercourse is NOT needed at all.
Watching her find a partner and being so comfortable and happy in being asexual is something I am now going to strive to become. Comfortable in who I am because there is nothing wrong with me and I can bd loved like this. Positive affirmations
Sex is the very last thing on my mind when meeting someone I like. Sex is in my bucket list and it can stay there.
I kinda see myself as asexual. But I like dating people, if they are the RIGHT. I have sex for the person I'm with, but its not a desire of mine like, at all. Its kind of like seeing a movie you really don't want to see to please your partner. Or doing something else for them you don't wanna do, just to be nice and as a "gift" or whatever? lol. But to do it a lot would get REALLY draining. And I like doing other things to kinda replace or for them "add to" sexual behaviors (like fetish, roleplay) so they get more out of a sexual experience, and I get out of it a little bit.... And I just kinda think fetish stuff is interesting in a mental aspect. I think people are attractive in other ways, just not sexually. I can see someone as attractive, but my thoughts don't get to that sexual place.
I've had long lasting relationships and stuff. I'm sure they wished that things were more physical, but its not THAT much of an issue. Of coarse this won't work for everyone because some people are just TOO uncomfortable with sex (its not the funniest thing if you just can't get into it, no matter how much you love them or w/e) but... its not impossible.
Asexuality is a lack in sexual attraction. It’s nothing about whether you do the act or not, but if you have the attraction to it. Some people might participate in fetishes/kinks their partners have but that they personally feel no arousal or attraction to it themselves. Similar situation with sex; you can do it for the benefit of your partner while still not have any actual interest in it.
I have a moral dilemma. I'm in a strong relationship with someone who I know is asexual and I knew this before I ever fell for her. I never had any kind of sexual attraction to her up until recently and it worries me. I want to do everything in my power to make her happy and see her smile and as far as boundaries go I've kept well within hers. I don't want to have sex for a couple of years but I still find myself in this position and I need advice on how I should go about this sooner rather than later. I respect the daylights out of her and the last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable but I don't know if bottling this up is a good idea or not. Any takes?
My advice is to talk to her. Communication is key.
Yeah you should definitely talk with her
I'm homoromantic asexual and finding for a partner who will agree on sexless relationship is difficult to fiiiiiiiiind.
Agreed
How was she being selfish she told him what to expect and what not to expect from the relationship that’s all you can ever do😂 gosh maybe he’s being selfish to her people are ignorant.
As an asexual I think the way people see it is absurd, Asexual to me is: Not dating or seeing anybody and Not having urges, yearning or No interest in sex. Basically, rejoicing solitude and the restraint of sexual pleasure. Call me a Jedi.
I hate when people assume that asexuals and non asexual people can’t date. I dated an asexual and the only reason we broke up is becouse she physically abused me.
3:17 "That's a timer" 😂😂
As an ace-spec, I want a relationship like that too 😌
A lot of people are making comments here that seem to imply that a sex drive is a choice, it is not. A sex drive is part of your natural biological make up. So I dont get the bullying and shaming of people who are sexual beings.
I'm aromantic which opens the way for platonic love.
I am asexual and panromantic, I am currently with a trans girl and by mutual agreement we have decided to love each other romantically ^^ We are happy living like this :D
Me to gener dosent matter me or the person looks
Dosent matter me what their have betwen legs
Only matter for me person and soul
I just don't want to have sex with them😅
I have a lot of trouble comprehending how one can feel romantic attraction without any sexual attraction. I believe her, but it’s very hard to wrap my mind around.
Kay Cronin I am not asexual, but I can understand it now, after I was on antidepressants treatment for a while and it completely shut down my sex drive. I wanted to hug an to be kissed, to touch and to be touched aa much as ever. I just didn't want anything that was more... Intimate. To do with genetalia and sex
it's emotional versus physical
Kay Cronin I actually think it's weird that it's hard for ppl to wrap their heads around. I grew up in an environment where sex and romance are worlds apart..lol.
It's fun to actually put thought into though. There's sex without love, love without sex, sex with lots of love and many shades in between. What gets me confused though is platonic sex, mainly "close friends " platonic sex. ???¿¿how does one *not* catch feels?? Like, i get not wanting a serious romantic relationship. But like...that has to be falling into the realm of a not very serious romantic relationship? Right???
But the main components of close relationships are:
Platonic emotions, romantic emotions, and sexual emotions (not counting family or anything bc that would be super gross, platonic emotions can be family though however) platonic emotions can be as strong as romantic emotions, but still exist as a different concept entirely. Sexual emotions are just..sexual emotions
She's lying. Don't do mental gymnastics to figure it out. Sometimes a Looney is just a looney. It's just now they have a global platform to spread insecurities and rally impressionable youths who instead of addressing the real problems in their life will make up shit like asexual
Think of it like this, you love your mom, dad, siblings, but I'm pretty sure you don't wanna bang them right? (I mean, if you do, it's cool no judging, but most people wouldn't) So it's kind of like that. Think of it that way.
nothing wrong with that
I’m glad I’m not alone in this orientation. Although I feel little to no sexual attraction toward others, I can’t help but feel pressured by my friend to get laid with some random stranger. At least the couple found a way to make this work, I’m glad for them.
Think of one person you would not feel sexual attraction to.
Ya, everyone is like that for a lot of us asexual fellas(a few asexual people still feel little sexual attraction)
Isn’t that grey ace though?
@@antoniocorsetti3222 ya I was talking about the Ace spec
@@bubblegum_07 oh oki
I am an demisexual genderfluid person , my husband ( :0 yes asexuals get married !!) is bisexual , mind my husband and I do have a sex life doesn’t mean that makes me any less asexual than journey that doesn’t .... asexualilty simply means you don’t experience sexual attraction. Nothing wrong with that.
im pansexual/asexual..."love everyone dont fuck everyone" XD thats what my friends say
Yeah i undersatnd
me to😂
Probaly people says pans do this evryvone
But no im not
00:31 Well I'm asexual, and I had sex like hundreds of times until I realized it's a thing... and I still don't like it.. so yep, I'm 200% sure that I dont.
Don't be mean to ace people. Like me, they don't have traumatic experiences or whatever.
Out of the so many people on earth can you stand to have a few not interested in sex
Exactly. Overpopulation is a real thing. It's one of the main reasons the earth is fucked these days.
For me it's more in between...sort of. I don't see people as sexually attractive unless I develop a connection with them first. I do find people attractive but not in a sexual sense, nor would I want intimacy with them unless I develop a connection with them.
Demisexuality is a bitch when you have friends that you develop feelings for though. 😕
I feel your pain. I'm a panromantic demisexual, and it sucks ass because I have ended up with a crush on all of my friends at least once.
This is why I don't talk to people anymore. :/
That's so strange! You dont want to have sex with people unless you develop a connection? How odd 🙄🙄🙄 totally makes sense that it needs it's own word and it's not like, a normal part of the human experience....
I'm demisexual and I've been in plenty of sexless relationships. I'm more of a cuddler anyway- don't get me wrong though I have had at least 2 relationships who were mad about me not giving them anything but they were middle school relationships and at 12 you shouldn't be focused on that in my opinion
Honestly, I wish I was like her. I'm too much the opposite. I feel like one could be happier being asexual. You don't seem to worry about sex and the status of sex, and I find that amazing.
I love her hair so much!!!
I‘ve never been in a sexless relationship, but I had a crush on someone who‘s asexual