Be grateful if your girlfriend gives you one of these at the start of a relationship. You get to dump her much earlier and save yourself a lot of drama.
@A very original name In the first age in the first battle when the shadow first lengthend one stood he chose the path of perpetual torment in his ravenous hatred he found no peace with boiling blood he scoured the umbral planes seeking Vengeance against the dark Girlfriend feminists who had wronged him and those who had tasted the bite of his Xbox one controller named him the DOOM slayer
@@ultimatewarriors1291 the Moment you do everything a Girl tells you to no Matter what it is, you become boring to her. A breakup Aint far away once that happens.
The only thing that should be on a relationship contract: No cheating (Edit: I changed dating contract to relationship contract because I think people are misunderstanding what I meant. I’m not talking about an open-relationship, I’m talking about a relationship where things are starting to get serious. Sorry for the confusion)
I would take the contract, bring it outside, pile all the gifts and stuff I gave to the Gf on top of the contract, douse it with 10 liters of oil and alcohol and set it off with a match
Hey bros..i want to challenge you all here. Please refer to the Crazy/Hot scale. I think that if a woman who was really really hot presented this to you..you WOULD sign it.
See the problem is SOME man fear that if they leave this person they might never find someone else. Man who have never been asked out are scared of this. And so they just stuck with what they have.
@@ComplexWork dude it's not about being beta to becoming alpha u must be a beta once also i understand sometimes some people don't know that fear is actually the reason most humans stay alive fear of living the world doing nothing fear of never having a family I understand simps are irredemmable but it doesn't come down to being beta or alpha stab555 is right
My friend once asked why do I name some people in my contacts with unusual names, examples (Makaroni, Ilyushin, Bulk, DigBick, etc) I told him to read his own name in my contact, it reads his real full name. I didn't tell him, but only those who're closest "in this context is dearest, or like brothers / sisters" get those kind of names, rest are just acquaintance.
For anyone who feels down during the video: If you look at the chat in the gameplay you can see the enemy teams congratulating each other for the goals. Restores some of my faith in humanity
La Sombra the boyfriends should have probably read the contract before they signed them, and if they didn’t, then they should rip the contract to bits and get the heck out of there!!!!
Girlfriend: “I made this contract for our relationship.” Me: “Excellent, I’ll get this over to my legal team, we’ll review all the details and get back to you with a counter offer as soon as possible.” Girlfriend: *surprised pikachu face*
Counter offer. The contract is verbal only and can be made void at any moment. You are to sign over all assets to my client before he agrees to this contract. If at any time he decides to end this "relationship" you are to cease all contact with my client and all assets are to remain in his name. If you disagree there will be no counter offer for my boii wont be a simp.
"Steve, as your employer, I must ask: why do you come into my office blindfolded? Is this a joke? An insult?" "I'm sorry Kayla, it's just that I literally cannot look at another woman. Here's my legal binding..."
Only one I'm guilty of is the 10 minute text thing. I'm in a long distance relationship and texting is our most common method so I do find it important
I honestly can't believe young people(I use that term loosely) would do this or ever agree. When I dated as a teen, if either person tried this garbage, they *would be alone for sure.* There are girls/women who find this stuff repulsive, so there is hope. PS Are many girls really this desperate and cringy these days? I'm curious, thanks
@@amygwenn5189 there definitely are plenty out there, who can maybe hide themselves well, maybe it’s not a huge majority but a handful who kind of act like this.
I showed my gf this and she goes "I'm getting you that before we get married" and I said "cool I'll sign it if u sign mine" she replied "what? What u gonna make me sign" me: "oh a prenup"
First contract legal loopholes: - Cheat with married/partnered girls only - Visit friends and never leave - Invite friends over once/twice in a week and let them stay for several days - Look at girls who are in groups - Take a treadmill with you everywhere. When a single girl approaches, place it on the ground (directed away from her) and walk on it while flirting - Don't invite Mo to hang out on one occasion, then afterwards always invite Mo - Demand head - Select a single thing and don't get mad about it to her ever again. Get mad about all other things - Binge drink when with your GF - Whenever a phone check occurs, produce multiple phones for inspection. Include old style house phones, gramophones, microphones, saxophones, xylophones, hydrophones, megaphones, full size phone booths and earphones - In public, start a conversation with your GF about jumping and literally say "howhighprincess" every time she uses the word - After moving in, enforce the no girls allowed rule with zero tolerance. Physically throw out all female friends and family members your GF invites over, without saying a single word - Don't get caught - Say "I love you once a day" on one occasion - Text the "me back" in response to all messages
Imagine a guy letting his girl walk over him like this. If she’s trying to tell you how to live your life show her the door. Self respect is more important then pu$$y, change my mind😂
“You are not allowed to have a single girls phone number” So wouldn’t that include you too? :v) For that ten minute limit text thing bruh i hope someone purposely waits 11 minutes to text her back
That girl is a hypocrite especially telling him not to look at other girls. It's unrealistic he's gonna come across females in they're baby, kid, tween, adult and elderly years. There's no way around than to choose suicide.
This person does not want a boyfriend. They want a *pet* Honey, if you can't hold his attention better than a videogame, that's a sign that the relationship isn't working out. If 8/10 he's choosing to play videogames over a roll in the hay (not hanging out with you because most of the time we'd rather do a lot of other things besides that), the relationship is already over.
The dude isn't even allowed to ask for head, I doubt there was anything happening in the bedroom. I bet they wouldn't even share a bed, there'd be twin mattresses on either side of the room.
No she wants someone to be at her beck and call, where she is the only thing in his life. That is so much worst. My boyfriend is asexual I know I lose to the video games, but I would rather being playing video games with him then forcing him to be unhappy and forced to do something he doesn’t want to do.
@@dominguezcharles3069 i think you read it wrong. “Above The Boys.” As in, referrin to your homies, DA BOYS. Multiple things on the contract relate to friends, so i believe that’s what his comment was about.
The reason that analogy doesn't work is: a marriage actually has legal consequences (like, for example: lower taxes, or one party being allowed to do something for the other party, especially medical stuff). Just a relationship doesn't. Even if we ignore all the "alimony/she took half my stuff"-issues... My GF, legally, isn't allowed to receive my mail. My roomie, on the other hand, is. Because his name is on a contract we have (in this case, me renting out a room to him). His name is on the door as well. Hers isn't.
@regalblue41 I agree with you based off the way they act. Just hard for me to call adult women in their 20s, 30s, and up girls when it comes to stories like this. Because I doubt that their behavior changes too much with guys giving in to what they're doing.
@@moonlitspider2827 trust me , these kind of people men or women do not deserve love. these are the ones that sadly end up cheating and gas lighting people. Know from Experience and it's really messed me up for a bit :(. glad I'm a bit better Now. a year sober off alcohol so that's amazing :)
Personally I think girls and sadly grown women learnt they could get away with this sort of stuff. Only way to teach someone something is bad, is to punish them for it. Bad actions result in bad consequences
Wait a minute, I just found out about this guy named Gengar in Rocket League, he’s got these max zoomed out settings and yet somehow he’s top 100 in the world in 1s.
@@hugebuffman3619 Tbh if it gets to the point where you should Liver punch your SO they very well might have you in a state where you physically or mentally cannot do that,or they Liver punched you.....either way if thats required,goodluck and you might need to Lawyer-up(I forget if im spelling Lawyer correctly,apologies if im spelling it wrong)
This is why I don't date girls anymore. my last relationship ended when she asked me to skip mandatory college classes just to text her, I'm not doing that again.
Nice one man. You definitely did the right thing. It's ok to be single, I personally never had any relationship so far in my life and I am 25. There is nothing more important than freedom and enjoying your own company or beeing with nice friends 👍
@@albitsobo7445 this. I'm 23 now and only had one legit relationship. She's a great person but circumstances just didn't make it viable. Until I find someone who recognizes I'm me and I'm not just gonna change, I'm just gonna live life solo. No co-op for me unless my teammate is gonna make it better and I can make it better for them of my own volition
Rule: If we move in, there are to NEVER ever be girls at our house. Doctor after the wife gives birth: It's a girl! Husband: Welp, we have to put up for adoption. (Looks away from daughter) Wife: Why?! Husband: The rules state that there will NEVER ever be girls at our house and I'm not allowed to look at single girls.
All any prosecutor would have to see is the death threat and she’d be brought up on charges for a death threat, especially if her behavior shows it to be a credible threat. I may just be a law student but the threat in that contract definitely comes across as a “true threat”.
Johan Sam she’s drafting a contract without a law license,she want her bf to obey by, which she can’t enforce because that’s considered practice of law, you can enforce on your self for self representation,but no if there 2 party
"If we move in, there are to NEVER ever be girls at our house" *the two manage to stay together and have a daughter* The guy: mmm yeah...sorry but the daughters gonna need to sleep outside. You know the rules
If I were to ever run into a girl like this I would just laugh and give her back her contract. Also, curious what's the penalties for breaking the rules?
Mikey The King Of Games it’s like an iPhone. It goes from simp, simp x, simp large, simp x max, simp x max large, simp xl large, simp xl large gold edition
While I don't think they should follow those rules, I can certainly understand that many of them are young and may have been manipulated. Doesn't mean their simps. Don't blame the dudes please, we should really be criticizing the ones setting these kinds of rules.
Girl: *writes a contract taking away all rights of her bf* Society: Oh that's so cute, she loves him so much! Man: *writes a contract taking away all rights of his gf* Society: THIS IS SEXIST AND DISGUSTING, LIFE IN PRISON!!
🤣 and why would society think a constructive way to deal with older white people having "privilege" is openly giving unfair advantages to just about anyone who is a part of a historical group that was oppressed? I'm talking about things like affirmative action, which effectively has allowed universities to accept some minority students with lower standards. I don't know what study this was, but there was one that was done about where SAT scores for certain groups had to be in order to get accepted in elite universities, using Whites who only have academics as the control group. What they found was that Asians had a 50 point disadvantage, Blacks had a 230 point advantage, and a few other groups had other results (athletes having a 200 point advantage). I don't remember the results for other groups, though.
Girl: buys boyfriend game and tries to control when he plays it Men:buy their own copy so nobody can dictate when they play Girls:[surprised pickachu face]
To those toxic gfs: We'll steal your hearts, not romantically, but rather metaversal. We'll strike on Valentine's Day, so be ready. From, You Know Who We Are P. S.: If this are your conditions, then this is a relationship I don't want any part of
"You're not allowed to have any single girl's number"
Well I have your number
"But I'm not single"
Now you are
That’s just perfect
Played to perfection.
Now that's a lot of damage!
I would do that
hahaha
If you need to sign a contract with your girlfriend, it should be a restraining order
Or a birth certificate
@@TheFortniteStorm of course how could i forget about my 2 week old girlfriend
👑
Well, marriage is a legal contract.
Arvban shiiiii
Be grateful if your girlfriend gives you one of these at the start of a relationship. You get to dump her much earlier and save yourself a lot of drama.
Lol
Had us in the first half😂
Nice tip 👍
Facts
With a contract or without nothing really change's lol.
If your gf gives you a contract, say this to her:
"If you want me to love you unconditionally, then why do you give me conditions?"
This comment here-
Preach man, the perfect comment
@Imperio Español chris rock
Amen.
Imperio Español amazing quote
"You are not allowed to have any single girls number"
Let me delete your number real quick then
DESTRUCTION 100
@@newyearlunardeluxe Flawless victory, Fatality
My mom, grandma, aunt, and sister: Aight Imma head out...
f
@@tylerwaynes2107 *outro winning music plays*
Boyfriend: just wants a sane girlfriend
Girlfriend: “A nice dream. But dreams are meant to be... *broken.* “
I read sane as sans
Like BUILDINGS! Or peeooplee!
Me: ``So are rules, wich implies I am not holding the rules`` xD
I think you got that saying wrong partner
sad
The only contract I’m signing is a divorce
Haha
OoOoF
😂🤣👍
OOOOooOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOOHHHHhhHhHHHHH
Hehe 69 likes
"You are not to ask for head"
It's cool, your sister does it without asking.
That sounds like she be assualitng you
R/cursed comments
Roasted to tempatures higher than suns core
This is cursed. I cannot unsee it...
Considering my sister is underage, have fun with that. There's estimated 500,000 male paedophiles in the UK so I'd at least quadruple that for USA.
Girls when their boyfriend complains about them starting an Onlyfans: “You can’t control me!”
Also girls: *Contracc*
Logic is lost on women bro
@@dvnmnd5020 Not all women. Just only a percentage
underrated comment right here bois.
@Michal Niestepski its a vocal minority most women are normal
666 IQ
"You're not allowed to ask for head"
*all men have left the chat*
Thelondonbadger 😂 it be happening naturally, if you mad dominant and be the man she will go down no matter what
KNEES NOW!
Shouldn't even need to ask.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Soooo no head. *slams phone and breaks skateboard*
A wise man once said “relationships are temporary but gaming is forever”
Girlfriend is temporary but DOOM is ETERNAL
So wise
@@kakyoin2362 also *very* wise
@A very original name
In the first age in the first battle when the shadow first lengthend one stood he chose the path of perpetual torment in his ravenous hatred he found no peace with boiling blood he scoured the umbral planes seeking Vengeance against the dark Girlfriend feminists who had wronged him and those who had tasted the bite of his Xbox one controller named him the DOOM slayer
That’s a really wise man.
Girls: WhY iS hE nOt ReSpOnDiNg To My TeXtS
Also Girls: *wait hours to respond*
Sounds like every dating site/app out there :/ smmhh it's so one sided my guy..
Big facts I know how it feels
So true, I met a girl who takes ages to respond to a text and expects me to respond quickly.
That Leon Pfp. It's a Keeper. (And truuuee)
Yeah, thats my sister and female cousins whenever I wanna check up on them. Even familial relationships be like that
Fun fact: If he agrees she´ll break up with him within weeks.
💯
Why
@@ultimatewarriors1291 the Moment you do everything a Girl tells you to no Matter what it is, you become boring to her. A breakup Aint far away once that happens.
@@Psychoangel-d23 true words
@@ultimatewarriors1291 and doing so makes you low value to her
She’s not telling him who he can and cannot be friends with...
She’s telling him he can’t have any friends at all.
Sounds like a strict parent
Abusive. It's ironic, if a man does that it's considered manipulation and isolation. But it seems totally okay when women act abusively.
Got me in the first half ngl
He wants him to be like her.
And she can mess with 4 guys because that's fair
"If you have to have a contract in a relationship..."
Me: *Stares nervously at marriage certificate*
That’s not the same thing tho
@@iamaidansmith7542 you're right. But you know what this comment is?
A joke.
Yes
Srry
@@iamaidansmith7542 i mean... its kinda the same
Those 15 dislikes are simps who sign contracts like this
Edit: Thanks for the likes, didnt expect that many lol.
35 now with those simps
Isn't Marriage a contract for a relationship though?
Now 40
@@brandon_Larsen Except the government in involved
brandon Larsen
I mean marriage isn’t even near as controlling as this
The only thing that should be on a relationship contract:
No cheating
(Edit: I changed dating contract to relationship contract because I think people are misunderstanding what I meant. I’m not talking about an open-relationship, I’m talking about a relationship where things are starting to get serious. Sorry for the confusion)
true, true
but also no abuse and stuff like that
Thicc Cheese what about no beating
@@mrgoodman5260 i mean beting women or beating meet on pornhub and cultured animes, because if no beating on 2nd we will have problem here
@@mrgoodman5260 no beating the wife is okay
Not even that in open relationships. Just gonna throw it in here!
girl after she made this contract: “wHy DoEs No GuYs WaNnA dAtE mE”
Makes me wonder
guys will date her and a bunch of them. dont understimate simps
The answer is simple, no one with an IQ above room temperature would date a thot
I think a lot of E-Girls say otherwise. And notice what I said there, “a lot”. Not all.
"I DoN't HaVe HiGh StAnDaRdS"
The only contract I sign is the Geneva convention of 1906 and even then I break every rule of it
This is the perfect joke
Nice
Understandable
yes
Oof, you have my respect. *salutes*
If I ever got a girlfriend that acted like this you'd bet they'd be kicked to the curb faster than they could say "contract"
@VeuIla I would take them outside and burn them
I would just drag them outside and tie them to a lamppost. I would leave them there overnight to see if they change their mind.
That’s if 😂
I would take the contract, bring it outside, pile all the gifts and stuff I gave to the Gf on top of the contract, douse it with 10 liters of oil and alcohol and set it off with a match
I would sell her on the dark web.
Me: *expresses interest in a girl*
Girl: "To date me, you must sign this contract."
My interest in them: *gone*
Reduced to atoms
@@cmcphotography1 Indeed
Girl: Wait, that's illegal
Hey bros..i want to challenge you all here. Please refer to the Crazy/Hot scale. I think that if a woman who was really really hot presented this to you..you WOULD sign it.
Ight imma head out
Women: "Respond in 10 minutes or else!"
Also Women: *Doesn't respond for hours*
If at all.
nobody like this comment it has the perfect amount of likes
I either reply within 5 seconds or after 5 hours, there is no in between.
The FBI Surveillance Team meow
dang it people you didn't listen
If my girl ever did this I would rip the contract in front of her and say “yeah... we’re done.”
That is the correct answer
I'd take it to a shooting range and see how many words I could target
@@ninja23yt and make the girl hold the contract youre shooting
@@norb3695 and say that you missed it but you landed on a headshot
thats what ill literally do and say everyone that she did that so that no others would get harmed by her.
I’m going to become her boyfriend just to break every single rule
I would literally do the same just to pojnt out how much "control" she has over me. Nil. :')
Remember, she keel you
You are a legend
I'd do the same but whenever I broke those rules and she got angry I would say "oh sorry I hurt your controlling ego again but not sorry"
@@owenobrien1351 then wat break up?
If someone ever does this, just leave. Don’t simp
See the problem is SOME man fear that if they leave this person they might never find someone else. Man who have never been asked out are scared of this. And so they just stuck with what they have.
stan 555 cause they’re beta males. You have to have an abundance mindset.
@@ComplexWork dude it's not about being beta to becoming alpha u must be a beta once also i understand sometimes some people don't know that fear is actually the reason most humans stay alive fear of living the world doing nothing fear of never having a family I understand simps are irredemmable but it doesn't come down to being beta or alpha stab555 is right
@@ComplexWork Dude beta and alpha males don't scientifically exist.
@@stan5555 And they can blackmail you with false accusations and a lot of times the Jury is biased
If a man did this he'd be critized for being too controlling/toxic
Ok Meninist
Yeah same goes for women
@@smugtree4874 Ok Karen
Weeb. womens are just.. no
No sane human being would do this.
Her: pulls out the relationship contract
Him: pulls out the divorce contract
Her: *(Surprised Pikachu Face)*
If anyone pulled out bs contract i would flip em off and leave
@@ToadallyNormal preach
Feels like the Yigioh meme
Who wants to bet “Tyler, Noah, Devon, or Josh” are guys she has been with
Probably the guys she cheated on her boyfriend with..
skojo3e either that or they are her exes 50/50 chance
@@jacktheflash8478 six of one, half a dozen of the other
Without a doubt
who wants to bet she is still with them
GF: There will never be girls at our house
BF: Ok *”kicks gf out of house”*
GF: Hey! Why u ding this!? I thought you love me!
BF: Rules are rules *Chaotic giggles intensify*
As a wise man once said “You cannot enchant a diamond hoe with loyalty”.
@@brickabang - Socrates
*Get Nae-Naed*
Goodluck if they ever have a daughter lol
Optimus: It's not like he's going to cheat on his girlfriend with his mom.
Alabama man: Are you challenging me?
Hentai protagonist: You underestimate my power!
Hahahaha
Americans.
Not America, *Alabama*
Comments like this are why I hate living in Alabama.
To quote Calvin and Hobbes, "If all of your friends are contract friends, you have no friends."
My friend once asked why do I name some people in my contacts with unusual names, examples (Makaroni, Ilyushin, Bulk, DigBick, etc) I told him to read his own name in my contact, it reads his real full name.
I didn't tell him, but only those who're closest "in this context is dearest, or like brothers / sisters" get those kind of names, rest are just acquaintance.
@@Bakotcha nicely said
CALVIN AND HOBBES FAN YOOOO
ah yes Calvin and hobbes
CALVIN AND HOBBES ENJOYER DISCOVERED
I love how she's trying to be cute writing a contract that makes a relationship go downhill and making her really insecure and paranoid
i know
Its really sad to look at tbh....
She makes the man legit a dog lol
Doing this should genuinely be illegal.
Like that contract is in no way law binding so I dont know why they think there smart.
I hope he is just being sarcastic
For anyone who feels down during the video: If you look at the chat in the gameplay you can see the enemy teams congratulating each other for the goals. Restores some of my faith in humanity
U sound depressed
Nah i noticed it too, i've never had a game that wasn't toxic at all
So we’re just gonna ignore these horrendous camera settings?
Get off the internet my guy
Nice
Girlfriend's after you sign that contract:
*YOUR LIFE,HAND IT OVER TO ME!*
boyfriend be like: oh no
“C’mon don’t be shy”👁👄👁
La Sombra the boyfriends should have probably read the contract before they signed them, and if they didn’t, then they should rip the contract to bits and get the heck out of there!!!!
Guy: Wha-
Elite Envisonary guy whispers to other girl and guy across the street: help...me
"Men are no longer interested in dating women. How could this possibly have happened?"
BecAuse there all nuts
Girlfriend: “I made this contract for our relationship.”
Me: “Excellent, I’ll get this over to my legal team, we’ll review all the details and get back to you with a counter offer as soon as possible.”
Girlfriend: *surprised pikachu face*
The team gotta approve of the list before it can be put into action, yes
My legal team is a M19
The legal team is “Da Boissss”
@@anoldtimer me & the boys designing a better contract while cracking open a couple of cold ones
Counter offer.
The contract is verbal only and can be made void at any moment. You are to sign over all assets to my client before he agrees to this contract. If at any time he decides to end this "relationship" you are to cease all contact with my client and all assets are to remain in his name.
If you disagree there will be no counter offer for my boii wont be a simp.
Women: "Respond in 10 minutes or else!"
Also Woman: *Leaves you on read until you start convo again*
It's worse if she leaves you on delivered but is online the whole time
Lazer same for me they will literally post stuff after i send so they are on but wont read????
If I respond to my girl within 10 minutes she gets suspicious
@@carljohnson-fc6el If she does that stop texting her because many girls will do that to feel special that they can get you when they want
@@lazer2541 whooo
These girls are gonna be karens when they get old
There are three levels of Karen. The Becky, the Karen and the Susan. These are forms of The Becky. The Susan is the mentor of the Karen.
They already are
Karen's in training
Final phase KAREN OVER 9000
Mega Karens Becky and Helen
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Single"
"Single who?"
"You."
"Yay!"
No
Whoo hoo
ha.
When all guys were single for a long time : “heh heh yeah yeah... yea” 😔😒
"Steve, as your employer, I must ask: why do you come into my office blindfolded? Is this a joke? An insult?"
"I'm sorry Kayla, it's just that I literally cannot look at another woman. Here's my legal binding..."
This is exactly why men are losing interest in relationships, it's just insane.
Only one I'm guilty of is the 10 minute text thing. I'm in a long distance relationship and texting is our most common method so I do find it important
@@chocobossxii9457 Roblox ODER lol
Yea i want to keep my friends thank you very much
@@pastetatse4957 I don't have friends or a gf but im still happy AF!🤣🤣🤣
[AnomalyGaming] good
"You are not to have a single girl's phone number"
Deletes the girlfriend's number
I honestly can't believe young people(I use that term loosely) would do this or ever agree. When I dated as a teen, if either person tried this garbage, they *would be alone for sure.* There are girls/women who find this stuff repulsive, so there is hope. PS Are many girls really this desperate and cringy these days? I'm curious, thanks
@@amygwenn5189 nah I don't think there are,or at least I haven't meet them yet.
@@adrianhernandez5868 Thanks for replying :)
@Paige McNally *legendary*
@@amygwenn5189 there definitely are plenty out there, who can maybe hide themselves well, maybe it’s not a huge majority but a handful who kind of act like this.
Me: *signs first contract, pulls out phone*
Her: "what're you doing"
Me: "deleting your number bc you're a single woman now"
Win
lol
A paradox😳
This is underrated
lol
I showed my gf this and she goes "I'm getting you that before we get married" and I said "cool I'll sign it if u sign mine" she replied "what? What u gonna make me sign" me: "oh a prenup"
Run
Run
It’s a scam do not sign it
Run
Run
First contract legal loopholes:
- Cheat with married/partnered girls only
- Visit friends and never leave
- Invite friends over once/twice in a week and let them stay for several days
- Look at girls who are in groups
- Take a treadmill with you everywhere. When a single girl approaches, place it on the ground (directed away from her) and walk on it while flirting
- Don't invite Mo to hang out on one occasion, then afterwards always invite Mo
- Demand head
- Select a single thing and don't get mad about it to her ever again. Get mad about all other things
- Binge drink when with your GF
- Whenever a phone check occurs, produce multiple phones for inspection. Include old style house phones, gramophones, microphones, saxophones, xylophones, hydrophones, megaphones, full size phone booths and earphones
- In public, start a conversation with your GF about jumping and literally say "howhighprincess" every time she uses the word
- After moving in, enforce the no girls allowed rule with zero tolerance. Physically throw out all female friends and family members your GF invites over, without saying a single word
- Don't get caught
- Say "I love you once a day" on one occasion
- Text the "me back" in response to all messages
Here you dropped 👑
King energy right now
Not all... not all heros wear capes
Not a single clause in the contract was broken, malicious compliance at its finest
Some men have big brains, you sir, have a ginormous brain.
Me: Is any of this negotiable to any degree?
Her: No
Me: And for that reason, i'm out.
*shark tank noises*
You are attempting to negotiate with someone who has a mindset like that? Yeah you have more faith in humans than I do lol 😆
Nah there should be no negotiation. If she brings a contract, I will cut all contact.
@@dangerdan2592
if she shows contracc
i cut all contacc
relationships are always negotiable, just walk out
Imagine a guy letting his girl walk over him like this. If she’s trying to tell you how to live your life show her the door. Self respect is more important then pu$$y, change my mind😂
No one I gonna try to change your mind, as what you are saying is fact.
Bros before hoes
I blame Michael Scott
What have you been through to sing that? I'm really sorry for that Guy
This is a mind that doesn't need to be changed. Be spittin straight facts.
A wise old man once said, "Give a girl a bag of gold, she will complain that it's too heavy."
Simps would absolutely agree with this kind of relation ship.
Yep
@Ji Jal no I think they're just that desperate for someone
Not even simps will go this low
Relationsimps.
“You are not allowed to have a single girls phone number”
So wouldn’t that include you too? :v)
For that ten minute limit text thing bruh i hope someone purposely waits 11 minutes to text her back
I love how they don’t think these through, like your single mom counts as well?
Does the granny count too?
Poor female family members
That girl is a hypocrite especially telling him not to look at other girls. It's unrealistic he's gonna come across females in they're baby, kid, tween, adult and elderly years. There's no way around than to choose suicide.
I hope somebody wait 10 minutes and 1 second on purpose
“I’m not in battle, I’m shooting the bodies of 13 year old children.” - Optimus 2020
I died at that part
Get_Spanked what are you 13 🤣
300th like
Optimus out of context
Imagine being so insecure you put your boyfriend in a literal prison.
Can’t relate
It's a mental prison
The only contract ill take from my girlfriend is a restraining order
Heyooo
Now this...
Hello there
Ha nice
Me: watches this video
Also me: *laughs in I hate my ex*
Guy: violates a term of the contract
Girl: So you have chosen... death
No they chosen....black
"Why do I hear boss music?"
she will more than likely metoo you anyway.
Whips out the reverse card and pulls out a scythe
This person does not want a boyfriend. They want a *pet*
Honey, if you can't hold his attention better than a videogame, that's a sign that the relationship isn't working out. If 8/10 he's choosing to play videogames over a roll in the hay (not hanging out with you because most of the time we'd rather do a lot of other things besides that), the relationship is already over.
The dude isn't even allowed to ask for head, I doubt there was anything happening in the bedroom. I bet they wouldn't even share a bed, there'd be twin mattresses on either side of the room.
@@TheRixtah1 Is head even an option in 2020? I thought everyone gave head.
Hazardous Bill she probably had some side dudes considering the list of guys not to bring up towards the bottom
No she wants someone to be at her beck and call, where she is the only thing in his life. That is so much worst. My boyfriend is asexual I know I lose to the video games, but I would rather being playing video games with him then forcing him to be unhappy and forced to do something he doesn’t want to do.
@@SavageEcaterina at least you understand him and play with him. You are a good example of a girlfriend who isn't crazy
Woman numero uno is forgetting the golden rule of relationships: No-one comes above the boys
Not really, it should be "no one comes above each other"
@@dominguezcharles3069 if a girl stops you being with the people you treat as family as the boys are then she isn't for you and is too controlling
@@dominguezcharles3069 i think you read it wrong. “Above The Boys.” As in, referrin to your homies, DA BOYS. Multiple things on the contract relate to friends, so i believe that’s what his comment was about.
@@glitchydoll I made the same mistake
they're not self-conscious, they're aware of their stupidity
They already r karens
As a wise man once said, "Who's more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?"
nah idk about that
Karens now at days
@Scp 939 not mah boys 😔
"I am shooting the bodies of 13 year olds in a video game, please dont disrespect me." - Sun Tzu, "The Art of War"
"Yeet or be treated"
- Sun Tzu, "The Art Of War"
I read that wrong
This isnt a Technoblade video why am I seeing fake Sun Tzu quotes
@@crugleberryandfriends4740
Wdym fake?
As a girl, I don't claim these people.
Yep.
As a human I don't claim this things as humans
Stellar Graham Simp tendencies.
@Stellar Graham resist your simp urges xD
Stellar Graham stay strong stop simping
Fellas, if your girl says to choose between her and your gaming career, always remember that a ps5 will never break your heart.
And doesnt spend ur entire paycheck in 5 days
@@Vardiant yeah bro
@@Vardiant EA: *doubt*
Any type of lag: 👀
More like PC
Optimus: No healthy relationship should need a contract
*Marriage trembling in the corner*
Except marriage requires both individuals to actually agree
The reason that analogy doesn't work is: a marriage actually has legal consequences (like, for example: lower taxes, or one party being allowed to do something for the other party, especially medical stuff). Just a relationship doesn't.
Even if we ignore all the "alimony/she took half my stuff"-issues... My GF, legally, isn't allowed to receive my mail. My roomie, on the other hand, is. Because his name is on a contract we have (in this case, me renting out a room to him). His name is on the door as well. Hers isn't.
Marriage is different you can still do whatever you want marrage is just moving to the highest level
Jesus Christ why did these men not run? smh. Too many women have lost their grip on reality.
@regalblue41 I agree with you based off the way they act. Just hard for me to call adult women in their 20s, 30s, and up girls when it comes to stories like this. Because I doubt that their behavior changes too much with guys giving in to what they're doing.
@@moonlitspider2827 trust me , these kind of people men or women do not deserve love. these are the ones that sadly end up cheating and gas lighting people. Know from Experience and it's really messed me up for a bit :(. glad I'm a bit better Now. a year sober off alcohol so that's amazing :)
Personally I think girls and sadly grown women learnt they could get away with this sort of stuff. Only way to teach someone something is bad, is to punish them for it. Bad actions result in bad consequences
they most likely did run.
Because the thirst is real and guys like punani
Its hard to imagine how she would prevent him from visiting his family because there are "girls" like his mom, aunt, or even sister or cousin
watcha be doin ova there step brother
Bruh then she think u be committing alamba
W h a t a r e y o u d o I n g s t e p b r o
@@thestarr7085 alamba?
Its not hard to imagine its easy to break up
“You can’t look at a single girl.”
What do you mean? I’m looking at one right now.
“But I’m not single.”
You are now.
I shouldn't be the one to say it but stolen comment 😖
Optimus: _Reading this girl's Contract_
Me watching the Rocket League Game: "OMG What are those camera settings"
OMG ikr like aren’t they the most zoomed out settings you can have? How could he have any ball control whatsoever?
At least he’s using Octane.
Wait a minute, I just found out about this guy named Gengar in Rocket League, he’s got these max zoomed out settings and yet somehow he’s top 100 in the world in 1s.
@@wiktor1582 well having a massive field of view can really help in assessing the situation and choosing the right move to do next
@@miscreantwithinternetacces7370 yeah but it's really hard to dribble and probably aerial, not to mention that he is kind of a ball chaser.
I can only imagine these girls faces when these guys say: "no"
god i wish i could see it in person
*Surprised Pikachu face*
@@crazzyconnor97 Then they would probably try and trash the poor guys life as much as possible or physically assault him
@@siva4wotblitzhero531 you seem to forget one thing anyone can do: liver punch. one of those and you won't be assaulted ever again by the same person
@@hugebuffman3619 Tbh if it gets to the point where you should Liver punch your SO they very well might have you in a state where you physically or mentally cannot do that,or they Liver punched you.....either way if thats required,goodluck and you might need to Lawyer-up(I forget if im spelling Lawyer correctly,apologies if im spelling it wrong)
This is why I don't date girls anymore. my last relationship ended when she asked me to skip mandatory college classes just to text her, I'm not doing that again.
You did the right thing man. Education before relationships
so...bros b4 hoes for you, literally eh? Nice!
Nice one man. You definitely did the right thing. It's ok to be single, I personally never had any relationship so far in my life and I am 25. There is nothing more important than freedom and enjoying your own company or beeing with nice friends 👍
A wise man once said no woman no cry
@@albitsobo7445 this. I'm 23 now and only had one legit relationship. She's a great person but circumstances just didn't make it viable. Until I find someone who recognizes I'm me and I'm not just gonna change, I'm just gonna live life solo. No co-op for me unless my teammate is gonna make it better and I can make it better for them of my own volition
Nowadays you have to record your girl giving in consent so she can’t hit you with a false allegation
Ikr imma have a 4k camera and record my future girl giving consent before we do the, let's just say making the bed more squeakier than it should be
Rule: If we move in, there are to NEVER ever be girls at our house.
Doctor after the wife gives birth: It's a girl!
Husband: Welp, we have to put up for adoption. (Looks away from daughter)
Wife: Why?!
Husband: The rules state that there will NEVER ever be girls at our house and I'm not allowed to look at single girls.
An actual good Dad joke. I'm proud of u man
Yeah thats the turnaround
Lol nice one XD
Nice
I mean, he's telling the truth. The rules did say that there will never be girls at their house, and he's following the rules.
Only Eugene's would sign a contract for a relationship
Ahh i see what you did there
Lol
No this is something a Eugene would make.
@@marrqi7wini54 eugenia
Birdman birdman birdman birdman
Even she's trying to enforcing this "contract" on the court of law, they will lock her up for practicing law without a license
NotFBIAgent i’m sure that has happened
Matt Gantt it has many times
All any prosecutor would have to see is the death threat and she’d be brought up on charges for a death threat, especially if her behavior shows it to be a credible threat. I may just be a law student but the threat in that contract definitely comes across as a “true threat”.
I don't see how signing a contract between two parties requires one to be a lawyer. Do fill me in
Johan Sam she’s drafting a contract without a law license,she want her bf to obey by, which she can’t enforce because that’s considered practice of law, you can enforce on your self for self representation,but no if there 2 party
I kinda died inside when I saw in the second contract that its actually signed by the guy. He just made selling his soul to the devil seem weak
I’d rather be knocked out by a 2D tsundere than have to sign a contract being forced to by a 3D psycho.
@Lance Clemings I assume you mean 3D yanderes?
kono baka baka baka!
Yea I think that would be better
“No asking for head”
Only contract I’m signing is a divorce
@Citta Brown I have no idea what either of those terms mean.
@Citta Brown the answer is probably yes, im a girl and i’d ditch her before she could say the word attention
When you steal a comment bc you cant come up with one. Curb your stolen comment
If you have to make a contract for your boyfriend to sign, why are you with a relationship with someone you don't trust?
LEGO Boba Fett has spoken!
Because everyone is easy and desperate nowadays
Big brain
All they want is money and the ability to brag about having a boyfriend.
Because these people have trust issues and they don’t trust anyone
"If we move in, there are to NEVER ever be girls at our house"
*the two manage to stay together and have a daughter*
The guy: mmm yeah...sorry but the daughters gonna need to sleep outside. You know the rules
Girls: Makes these contracts
Boys: Doesn't break any of the rules
Girls: Break all of the rules
Girls: It doesn't apply us
Same with school except the teacher makes the rules
Derpy Hippo99 I love you profile picture I remember eating those smile chips when I was a kid, brings back good memories
Should've added the * to the "it doesn't apply to us" so it looks like " *It doesn't apply to us* "
@@bloxindoez3718 what if the teacher is both?
Yes it does.
Woman: Wants man to sign crazy contract for relationship
Man: *rejects*
Woman: *visible confusion*
I hate the fact that people think men can’t be abused by women.
Lol I guess mental abuse only applies to women
That's what happens when you have the Duluth model when dealing with issues like this.
Reverse feminism
Bruh no one should be abused
@@aceofspades9818 we need that
Girl: so since were dating imma need you to sign a contract basically giving me full control over you.
Any sane person: *_yeah no_* it’s over
Nobody's gonna talk about how wholesome both teams were in the gameplay?
Extra wholesome
Thats what I'm saying, so soothing
Dude I know!!!!
I think it's in casual, people are usually a lot nicer there
Even if there's hacker on the same team and ruins all the fun?
Another sign that we are regressing as a society.
Im a single nerd so im happy.
@Eli Pen blame men lol we voted for tht
She suffers from BPD, this isn't a normal thing nor ever will be.
@@grumpyguy112 broke off a toxic girlfriend never have been happier.
More reasons to be pro robots.
"You are NOT to ask for head"
I thought this was a girlfriend contract
I....
_oh. oh no_
Like, zoinks scoob I think he's got an extra chromosome...
I laughed at that ngl
Hold up now
I don't like where this is going
Cough* Cough* ... My head getting big.
If I were to ever run into a girl like this I would just laugh and give her back her contract. Also, curious what's the penalties for breaking the rules?
Read the one with purple red underline, but a lot of it
Or 7th from the bottom
I would probably just do the exact same contract but reversed, and ask is she would sign that (the yeet myself tf outa there)
These girlfriends will become Karen's
Denis N Bruh for real 💀
And they will be single and used up at the age of 30 and complaining were al the good men are. And they will have cats. Poor animals
Their already Karens
Notso LittleTimmy They are Susans they will evolve to a Karen in about 10 years
Why is the spelling and grammar atrocious under this one comment?
Anyone who actually agrees to that contract is the literal Simp God.
So whats the upgrade to it? Simp God Super Simp?
Askr Super Simp God
@@mikeythekingofgames8644 ultra instinct simp
@Bounze lol😂😂
Mikey The King Of Games it’s like an iPhone. It goes from simp, simp x, simp large, simp x max, simp x max large, simp xl large, simp xl large gold edition
Now imagine if the genders were switched
Everyone would absolutely rip this guy to shreds
Have you read the comments? I don't see people praising that girl
Guy or girl or whatever else they want to be, anyone making a contract is in technicality Satan and im whipping out the cross and a stake
Our lord and Christ Jesus. My lord is Waheguru. Hopefully, this doesn’t effect our ‘friendship’!
@@theamazingzanzibo3029 Thank you Dio
facts facts
my girlfriend: would you leave me for your frie-
Me: FOR THE BOYS
I kid you not. I know someone, who’s girlfriend made him choose between her and his friends, ended up on the street for a couple weeks.
Bros before hoes
FOR DA HOMIES
gf: would you leave me for your frie-
me: nuh uh. I believe the term you are looking for is THE BOIS. and yes, yes I would
i had to dislike the comment because the likes are at 69, i apologize
I’m disowning anyone in my family who signs or creates a contract like this
Honestly, the parents of that girl need to have a word with her... for her sake...
Same here dude
And these simps are actually following these orders smh
ffs
The ones who sign that are the ultimate beta males...
While I don't think they should follow those rules, I can certainly understand that many of them are young and may have been manipulated. Doesn't mean their simps. Don't blame the dudes please, we should really be criticizing the ones setting these kinds of rules.
@@MajinBuu91 even betas wouldnt do that their retards
I bet they'd even sold their souls just to be in a relationship
Girl: *writes a contract taking away all rights of her bf*
Society: Oh that's so cute, she loves him so much!
Man: *writes a contract taking away all rights of his gf*
Society: THIS IS SEXIST AND DISGUSTING, LIFE IN PRISON!!
hahahaaa omg lol
Society is the biggest simp ever.
🤣 and why would society think a constructive way to deal with older white people having "privilege" is openly giving unfair advantages to just about anyone who is a part of a historical group that was oppressed? I'm talking about things like affirmative action, which effectively has allowed universities to accept some minority students with lower standards. I don't know what study this was, but there was one that was done about where SAT scores for certain groups had to be in order to get accepted in elite universities, using Whites who only have academics as the control group. What they found was that Asians had a 50 point disadvantage, Blacks had a 230 point advantage, and a few other groups had other results (athletes having a 200 point advantage). I don't remember the results for other groups, though.
Zah'mar Hillman I liked this solely because it was at 68 likes.
it went from men having literally EVERY SINGLE RIGHT and then tipped over to women being almost above the law
The texting one really gets me. Like imagine your phone is dead or you're, you know, busy with something important.
Contract for potential boyfriend:
1. Must like me :(
Only if everyone saw it as that simple
Ok that’s good
Thats cute and sad at the same time
And this is why you’re single
Impossible
Her parents probably divorced because they couldn’t find a way to treat her mental illness
idk
they couldve used a gun
@@iambumbo7534 amen
@@iambumbo7534 they should've*
@@happygofishing they had to*
Girl: buys boyfriend game and tries to control when he plays it
Men:buy their own copy so nobody can dictate when they play
Girls:[surprised pickachu face]
Steam: You have no power here!
Let me catch my son signing a contract to get a girlfriend
lol
Boyfriend *signs relationship contract*
Me: Warning! We have a code Eugene! I repeat we have a code Eugene!
I would rap
@@Z_Ale_17 rogue that Alexdany Z
“In battle” Jesus Christ my brain fell out when I heard that.
Dale Sajdak It’s like saying Forza is ’driving your car’
Wym pause the game im risking my life "in battle"
I'm shooting the dead bodies of 13 year old children on the internet. That killed me
The contract doesn't sound that bad. You just have to go to Toyota instead of Honda.
Yeah, there he can get a toy Yoda
@James Ring chevelles are sick but Toyota verossas are 100x better
@James Ring Volkswagen
Lockheed-Martin, Rossinavi, Ducati, all cool then!
It's most likely he rides and she wants to control what money he spends on accessories or a new bike.
To those toxic gfs:
We'll steal your hearts, not romantically, but rather metaversal.
We'll strike on Valentine's Day, so be ready.
From,
You Know Who We Are
P. S.: If this are your conditions, then this is a relationship I don't want any part of
So what if we don't celebrate Valentine's Day but celebrate the day Bismarck was launched into the sea
If I was given a contract from a girlfriend, I’d rip it up and break it up right there.
Nah nah nah burn it
I would burn it
How many girls do you have?
I'd take a picture and then rip it up in front of her face
I would be like
Me: wait hold the contract
Gf: ok
Me: *takes out phone and takes a picture*
Me: snap thats going in my cringe comp
Gf: one more rule