The reason folks keep others from knowing the reality of their birth parents is because a lot of shame about the specific situation is involved. And the ones hiding everything are looking out for themselves. My family has a lot of unfortunateness in it, but (for the most part anyway) we face it head on. Even if it's of the "Unfortunate events occurred but we got you out of it - a happy thing!" scenario.
I manage a kit with an unknown grandfather, but they are not really interested in pursuing any relationships on that side. A close match came up and I built a tree, leading me to believe the Match's father or one of her maternal uncles is the Unknown grandfather. I don't know how knowledgeable this match is about cM and matches, but it will probably be a shock to them when they figure it out that her or one of her cousins has a half-sibling. At this point I'm just sitting back and waiting to see if anyone reaches out or if any other matches pop up.
I have a three fold family mystery I bet you can't solve. My mother was adopted. Easy enough.... But her bio mom, I think she stole an identity and wasn't who she said she was. The bio father... Was also separated from his parents and raised by his maternal grandfather.... Who claimed to be the eldest illegitimate son of the King of Denmark. The woman who he claimed was his mother was listed as a known lover of that King. The good news... My mother took a dna test before she died.
It's crazy to be angry with someone who discovers the truth about a situation that is clearly not their responsibility.
I know that just made me so upset. Shame on them.
The reason folks keep others from knowing the reality of their birth parents is because a lot of shame about the specific situation is involved. And the ones hiding everything are looking out for themselves.
My family has a lot of unfortunateness in it, but (for the most part anyway) we face it head on. Even if it's of the "Unfortunate events occurred but we got you out of it - a happy thing!" scenario.
The truth is always less painful than a lie.
You know, you're really good people.
I manage a kit with an unknown grandfather, but they are not really interested in pursuing any relationships on that side. A close match came up and I built a tree, leading me to believe the Match's father or one of her maternal uncles is the Unknown grandfather. I don't know how knowledgeable this match is about cM and matches, but it will probably be a shock to them when they figure it out that her or one of her cousins has a half-sibling. At this point I'm just sitting back and waiting to see if anyone reaches out or if any other matches pop up.
Do people not see how disruptive this kind of thing is.
Reality bites. Honesty is a good thing.
I’m confused, his family is not really his family? He was adopted? His mom is his mom but different dad? So lost 😞
Mom had an affair, possibly.
Mom got her freak on. Buster arrived nine months later, and her husband never noticed Skippy looked really different from the other kids.
So is she a real auntie to him?
I have a three fold family mystery I bet you can't solve.
My mother was adopted. Easy enough....
But her bio mom, I think she stole an identity and wasn't who she said she was.
The bio father... Was also separated from his parents and raised by his maternal grandfather.... Who claimed to be the eldest illegitimate son of the King of Denmark. The woman who he claimed was his mother was listed as a known lover of that King.
The good news... My mother took a dna test before she died.
If I found out 40 years later my wife cheated and made a kid and falsely claimed it was me… if divorce her.
This guy might not be the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree 😉
Don’t care. He is owed honesty by the people who say they love him, but share the info with others.