Your video series is giving me a lot of helpful perspective and hope. I'm in a fairly new (under 2 years) relationship with someone who has OCD. I didn't really understand it at first, and unfortunately I fell into the trap of starting to perform a few of his compulsions for him when he asked me to, because he instantly became less anxious whenever I did, which brought immediate, though temporary relief to us both. I now regret my ignorance in thinking I was helping him at the time. Gradually he added more and more things for me to do to help him, which began to frustrate and anger me. It was too late before I began to realize I was merely indulging his OCD and that IT was taking advantage of my willingness to try to make him feel better. The genie is now out of the bottle as he seems to have become dependent on me to perform a variety of compulsions for him, with new ones popping up regularly. I explain to him that I should not be doing these things. He's not ready to believe that and tries to convince me that it is helping him address his OCD. I now know that it's just the opposite. This condition is awful, for him and for us. I love him and I want to help him. We have a lot of work ahead of us. Thank you so much, Katie for sharing your informative, compassionate guidance, experience, and advice.
Thanks! As someone living with a person suffering from OCD (who's in the middle of wanting help and not wanting help), I really appreciate all the content you have here on RUclips. It has provided me more information.
ART helps. Anyone nurturing helps pull them out of their head. Finding a rhythm is soothing. Watching You Tube or videos of doing something they’d like to do and see how to overcome the steps help so much. Getting stuck is a step not taken. Connecting with someone gets momentum to stay outside their or our head. I almost think OCD is a very outer spectrum form of autism. Knowing we are lovable, and valuable, and useful to others is vital. We are not children of a lesser God. We are sensitive ones needing momentum to get out of our head and safe place, in order to engage in the world in a comfortable way as often as we can. Thoughts and feelings may change and we’ll be ready to push on for as long as we can, and it will be okay. Dopamine reinforcement.
Dear Katie, please make a video about post partum OCD/depression/anxiety. I'm terrified of getting pregnant and especially time after giving birth. Because I suffer with OCD (pure O). If I didn't have OCD, I'd probably have a child long time ago. But OCD is stopping me. Thank you for your videos! They helped me a lot! 💗
Oh I'm so sorry to hear that! You definitely do not want to let OCD stop you from doing things in life. If you want to have a child, have a child. Don't let OCD tell you what to do. I will indeed make a video about this but there is also a great website maternalocd.org which has loads of resources.
My daughter is newly diagnosed with OCD. She is not yet at the stage where she understands that self-empowerment is her strongest weapon in the fight against OCD. She "trusts" doctors - any doctors!! I keep dropping ERP into the conversations in the hope that she picks up on it. She's breaking my heart.
Thank you for sharing this. This video helped realized that I am giving in to my sons ocd. It’s really hard not to but now that I know it makes it worst I will take this advise.
My sister has severe OCD and I’ve had severe OCD but have recovered. Thank you so much for all this advice. I’ve been to hard on her to just stop because I forgot how hard it can be
It’s not easy to fight -be patient (It takes time) Take to about goals Understand role of reassurance Two Tips - Allowed to reassure that your there for them Outsourcing worry: Reassurance doesn’t work -Have to deal with short term pain (cruel to be kind How to not reassure? Practice not responding with certainty I don’t know 🤷🏾♀️ Have a conversation, I’m not going to do it anymore Doing things for them Work together to fight the OCD Help them to enjoy things outside of OCD
What if they don’t want help? 😩 looking forward to that video 😂 the insisting things be a certain way that doesn’t really make any logical sense which triggers OCD rage is really what I’m having a hard time with…. 😩 I feel so sad for anyone dealing with severe OCD 😢
Katie has a video on how to help someone with OCD who doesn't want to be helped. Also you night want to read Jon Abramowitz's book The family guide to getting over OCD. Take care of yourself! Unfortunately OCD doesn't respond to logic and you need to learn other ways how to deal with the reactions and questions OCD is bringing up.
I’m constantly telling my husband how bad I am and he has always been the best at reassuring me that I’m not bad and we are all human. He’s the greatest. And yet still I cannot overcome
Exactly, So what if you stopped getting reassurance from your husband and started learning to live with the discomfort instead? Sounds like the reassurance is not changing the problem long term....
Katie is doing amazing work her good deeds are really appreciable with her efforts I would like to add on some extra points. Read power of your subconscious mind and understand deep within you are not thoughts u are soul who watches them.
Hey, How to gently break their habit if we have been giving them reassurance for a while? and it’s really hard to take a No from the person who suffers it feels like they are denying help even though they need it the most.
This is so difficult. My wife has perinatal OCD and constantly wants reassurance she hasn't given our son cancer from the non brand steraliser or teather etc etc.
If I refused to follow the cleanliness regime, I seriously think she would do something catastrophic, either to herself or me, Fifteen years ago I had to take her to Hospital in a catatonic state, so the only way round it was to give her control, ---- 100%. Control.
Who cares about them though I am the one with OCD. I am the one who needs help. So who cares what they think isn’t it more about what I think about myself and the changes that I need to make for myself in order to be a better person.
I have lots of videos about how to help yourself - I hope you can access them and put them into practice. However, it can also be helpful if those around you know how to support you.
I’m trying to understand my boyfriend who has OCD a little more. He is pretty open about it, but i suspect he is not completely aware all his compulsions(sprry if wrong words are used, english is not my first language). Some of his struggles with ocd is thoughts. He can get fixated on a single thought for days, maybe a week or more. For example he can ask me if i was sad or mad a particular day, that maybe was a week ago. I dont remember. Most likely it was nothing. My question is can “monitoring” feelings be a type of ocd? I have noticed he always studies my face, if I am tired he will always question me if I am upset. Even when I tell him I am tired after work. He will keep on pressing. Or he will pay attention to how I breath for example. He will think I am sad, and I don’t know where he gets it from. But he tells me I looked sad. This things have been building up over time. He can think I am irritated because I walked a little faster than I “normally” do. I didn’t use emojies when I answered him, so I am mad at him for something, when in reality I was busy doing something. I love him so much but it can honestly get so exhausting, and to be honest it makes me really self aware and insecure. I can tell he doesn’t mean to make me feel that way. I know I should talk to him, but I’m also scared of planting new thoughts if that makes sense
Regarding you feeling self-aware or insecure: always remember it's not about you. OCD targets things your partner loves the most and tries to find something that might be wrong in eg. the relatioship you two have or in you. Your situation sounds like mine. To an outsider my wife would appear to be looking for the smallest things in my actions, words, behaviour to support her thoughts about our relationship. Career-wise I can see how she overanalyzes her work environment and starts avoidance due to whatever reason she convinces herself to be the root-cause of whatever she is feeling. My advice for you: make sure to take care of yourself, keep your hobbies and me-time and friends. Have (or learn about) boundaries. You're in the right place go be listening to Katie's content. If possible, you could also read Jon Abramowitz's book The family guide to getting over OCD. And listen to OCD stories episodes about ROCD.
Hello, my boyfriend has OCD as well… I don’t really know how to help him. At the moment, if he overthinks something then I will overexplain, and when he needs it I give him reassurance. What else can I do? 😭
An incredible video. Rarely see this particular kind of content. It’s almost content for a comedy sketch. I wish I could have some sessions with you (for my relationship OCD)
Hi I am sixteen and am terrified of becoming an evil person and loosing control of myself. I find it terrifying that people do evil things and I don’t understand why. I suffer from intrusive thoughts and I keep thinking is this what bad people have and why they do bad things. I constantly need reassurance that I will not become or am not evil and things are getting really bad. I think it is ocd because I have compulsions that go along with this and it is causing me a lot of distress. I feel like I just need certainty that i will not become bad or that I am not bad and it is making my life hell. I can’t think of anything else, I can’t do anything, and can’t sleep. I am starting to lose hope I am so scared. What should I do?
The more you pay attention to your fear and the more you seek reassurance or try and control or compensate for the fear (e.g by avoiding or by doing extra ‘good’ stuff etc) the worse it will get. I would recommend either seeing a therapist who specialises in treating ocd or if that’s tricky then grab a copy of ‘Managing ocd with CBT for Dummies” (you should be able to get it from a library) and use the book in conjunction with these videos and you’ll be able to help yourself overcome the problem.
@@gitanjalireddy4372 no, I took meds and ended up realizing (through therapy) the intrusive thoughts were just a medical issue. The less I paid attention to the thoughts, the weaker they became.
@@brandonwiesen2658 that's great news for you, I am truly happy for you :D. what about new forms of intrusive thoughts that keep popping up once you've learnt to ignore thoughts of a nature? For eg, if you have thoughts about harming people and you successfully overcome it only to get the fear of going crazy and then once you tackle that you're again beat down by something completely different? I'm sorry, I am just super low on will power to fight my intrusions at this point which I suspect are from hormonal imbalance than being a mental disorder for me to mentally battle it.
I just found your channel and I just want to say thank you. I hope your tips and advice helps me. Do you have any other tips for a beginner for managing my ocd? My ocd is mainly active making sure i turned off something or checking lights over and over. Thank you Dr. Katie
Hi Katie I've been watching your channel since 2018! .... but I don't think I've quite made some break throughs in my Exposures because I don't think I've added the magic ingredient yet? where I make myself feel worse? lol ..... of course I've thunk bad thoughts and NOT performed a compulsion .... anyway my OCD seems devious, I will give an example, "if I don't wash my hands or close the door 8 times, I might get cancer in 4 years" ..... or forget about the rituals, "I might get cancer in 4 years" unless I pray, wash my hands, unthink the thought ..... can you point me a video Katie where it can segue way into my fears? Now I might get cancer in 4 years, I might get cancer in 4 years .... there isn't a feasible way to NOT do a compulsion, make myself feel worse AND wait 4 years and beyond to assure myself I won't get cancer? Or get killed in a car off a bridge? lol I have this weird OCD that appears to bully me into saying "this bad thing will happen in such and such number of years" since we can't fast forward time, any of your videos or techniques you might point me to to help me live with the Uncertainty that a such and such bad thing may happen when? ...... or could you segue into how similar this is to fundamental OCD anyway?
OK so this is a common problem where because the feared outcome is far in the future it feels like you can't act against it because you imagine you will live in fear for the next four years until you discover whether or not your fear comes true. However, what we see doing ERP is that you learn that even though you don't have the answer you will habituate to the fear and you will actually stop worrying about the possibility of getting cancer in 4 years in a relatively short time....
@@23katied Thank u so much Katie! yeah i forgot the goal is NOT to stop the thoughts or to get my answers, but to habituate to the fear so i won't perpetuate my vicious flower or anything .... question though sometimes in my exposures i sometimes find i myself am overwhelmed so i perform my compulsions either avoidance behaviors or undoing actions i did ...... if that is a case will it be helpful if i make my ERP more long winded but bearable? meaning the exposures could take place a whole day or week round so i cannot avoid or undo things? for example i might say i am afraid i will get killed in a car crash in 4 years time .... and i watch Grace Kelly films and videos cuz that is a terrifying association of someone getting killed in a car crash or watch many films with people called Grace ..... or cars ...... how can i ensure i won't regress to neutralizing or avoidance behaviors? the exposures are pretty small to medium in my hierarchy, will i benefit if i made them even longer? thanks again Katie and more power!
@@singerfilmmaker Sometimes it is hard to stop yourself neutralising - if you find you are doing this you basically need to re-expose yourself or make yourself feel worse again - e.g if you say - "oh no that won't happen" and you feel better, you notice this and say "well you don't know for sure, it could well happen" - this will probably increase your fear short term but make the ERP more effective. IF you keep doing this eventually your brain will give up doing the compulsion because it learns that it is pointless.
I don’t understand how could be helpful not give reassurance to someone who’s asking owo like ‘in the long therm they will learn not to ask US for reassurance’… but they may find other way to find it (maybe more dangerous or unhealthy?), so which is the benefit? I don’t want to sound angry, just questioning because it doesn’t feel right or helpful (but again, I’m translating from other language so maybe I didn’t understand)
Do your part in not giving them reassurance. It's true they can find it elsewhere: from other family members, friends, healthcare workers or online. That is not in your control. But if you give the reassurance it starts taking the toll on you when you're answering same things over and over, or going into long discussions about non-issues.
Sure why not? Often people use the idea of letting thoughts pass like cars on a busy road or like leaves floating down a stream. You can use whatever helps you get the idea BUT be clear you are not PUTTING your thoughts on the clouds so they can float away you are just letting them pass as you would a cloud.
My 12 yr old son has recently expressed some OCD tendencies and how they are upsetting him. One thing he always does before leaving the house is he asks me if he has everything he needs. Then he calls out certain items that he knows he needs to have. I will then confirm for him that he does in fact have everything he needs. Is that aiding his OCD? Should I respond with, “I’m not really sure. You should check.”
I do that myself. I laugh & call it out saying something like "wtf dude that's just weird, anyways I got work & as I was saying..." I go back to my work. That way we give it less prestige and consequently less power. Hang in there with some will power you shall pass this phase :)
I don't see why not - as long as you don't feel you HAVE to do the eye rolling but instead use it to remind yourself of the attitude you intend to take.
Shefet bro Shu ocd m2ayar don't think about it even if you feel distressed I trust myself mn Abel fakart ano ma sarle shi but I didn't trust myself and I gave in don't do it again I trust myself that nothing will happen. It's just a sound. Do not think in your house m2akad
This is complete bd and you are a person who does not or never suffered. This is nothing that is helpful to me. This has nothing but frustratesme. Really you don't have a clue
I'm sorry you feel that way. Unfortunately the more friends and family collude with the OCD the more entrenched it becomes. Hence the need for people without OCD to understand the role they play in maintaining OCD. Cruel to be kind definitely doesn't feel good in the short term but in the long term it is much more helpful.
Your video series is giving me a lot of helpful perspective and hope. I'm in a fairly new (under 2 years) relationship with someone who has OCD. I didn't really understand it at first, and unfortunately I fell into the trap of starting to perform a few of his compulsions for him when he asked me to, because he instantly became less anxious whenever I did, which brought immediate, though temporary relief to us both. I now regret my ignorance in thinking I was helping him at the time. Gradually he added more and more things for me to do to help him, which began to frustrate and anger me. It was too late before I began to realize I was merely indulging his OCD and that IT was taking advantage of my willingness to try to make him feel better. The genie is now out of the bottle as he seems to have become dependent on me to perform a variety of compulsions for him, with new ones popping up regularly. I explain to him that I should not be doing these things. He's not ready to believe that and tries to convince me that it is helping him address his OCD. I now know that it's just the opposite. This condition is awful, for him and for us. I love him and I want to help him. We have a lot of work ahead of us. Thank you so much, Katie for sharing your informative, compassionate guidance, experience, and advice.
This video has opened my eyes on how I’m enabling my husbands compulsions.
Thanks! As someone living with a person suffering from OCD (who's in the middle of wanting help and not wanting help), I really appreciate all the content you have here on RUclips. It has provided me more information.
I'm glad it's helpful and that someone is very lucky to have you - understanding the problem will go a long way in helping them.
ART helps. Anyone nurturing helps pull them out of their head. Finding a rhythm is soothing. Watching You Tube or videos of doing something they’d like to do and see how to overcome the steps help so much. Getting stuck is a step not taken. Connecting with someone gets momentum to stay outside their or our head. I almost think OCD is a very outer spectrum form of autism. Knowing we are lovable, and valuable, and useful to others is vital. We are not children of a lesser God. We are sensitive ones needing momentum to get out of our head and safe place, in order to engage in the world in a comfortable way as often as we can. Thoughts and feelings may change and we’ll be ready to push on for as long as we can, and it will be okay. Dopamine reinforcement.
Thank you for saying this.
Dear Katie, please make a video about post partum OCD/depression/anxiety. I'm terrified of getting pregnant and especially time after giving birth. Because I suffer with OCD (pure O). If I didn't have OCD, I'd probably have a child long time ago. But OCD is stopping me. Thank you for your videos! They helped me a lot! 💗
Oh I'm so sorry to hear that! You definitely do not want to let OCD stop you from doing things in life. If you want to have a child, have a child. Don't let OCD tell you what to do. I will indeed make a video about this but there is also a great website maternalocd.org which has loads of resources.
My daughter is newly diagnosed with OCD. She is not yet at the stage where she understands that self-empowerment is her strongest weapon in the fight against OCD. She "trusts" doctors - any doctors!! I keep dropping ERP into the conversations in the hope that she picks up on it. She's breaking my heart.
Thank you for sharing this. This video helped realized that I am giving in to my sons ocd. It’s really hard not to but now that I know it makes it worst I will take this advise.
Thank you...iv lost my partner and quality time with my son❤
Sorry to hear this. Hope you can use some of these videos to help.
My sister has severe OCD and I’ve had severe OCD but have recovered. Thank you so much for all this advice. I’ve been to hard on her to just stop because I forgot how hard it can be
Hi, how did you overcome ocd?
It’s not easy to fight -be patient (It takes time)
Take to about goals
Understand role of reassurance
Two Tips
- Allowed to reassure that your there for them
Outsourcing worry: Reassurance doesn’t work
-Have to deal with short term pain (cruel to be kind
How to not reassure? Practice not responding with certainty
I don’t know 🤷🏾♀️
Have a conversation, I’m not going to do it anymore
Doing things for them
Work together to fight the OCD
Help them to enjoy things outside of OCD
This is so hard to hear having to deal currently with ocd , I hope we all get better
What if they don’t want help? 😩 looking forward to that video 😂 the insisting things be a certain way that doesn’t really make any logical sense which triggers OCD rage is really what I’m having a hard time with…. 😩 I feel so sad for anyone dealing with severe OCD 😢
Katie has a video on how to help someone with OCD who doesn't want to be helped. Also you night want to read Jon Abramowitz's book The family guide to getting over OCD. Take care of yourself! Unfortunately OCD doesn't respond to logic and you need to learn other ways how to deal with the reactions and questions OCD is bringing up.
I’m constantly telling my husband how bad I am and he has always been the best at reassuring me that I’m not bad and we are all human. He’s the greatest. And yet still I cannot overcome
Exactly, So what if you stopped getting reassurance from your husband and started learning to live with the discomfort instead? Sounds like the reassurance is not changing the problem long term....
Katie is doing amazing work her good deeds are really appreciable with her efforts I would like to add on some extra points.
Read power of your subconscious mind and understand deep within you are not thoughts u are soul who watches them.
Katie, please make the video on how to help someone with OCD who DOESN’T WANT HELP. It’s really needed. Thanks.
Yes just coming! Sorry for the delay.
@@23katied thank you! Can’t wait
Hey,
How to gently break their habit if we have been giving them reassurance for a while?
and it’s really hard to take a No from the person who suffers it feels like they are denying help even though they need it the most.
This is so difficult. My wife has perinatal OCD and constantly wants reassurance she hasn't given our son cancer from the non brand steraliser or teather etc etc.
Dear Katie, please make a video about body Dysmorphic disorder/Coping strategies.
If I refused to follow the cleanliness regime, I seriously think she would do something catastrophic, either to herself or me, Fifteen years ago I had to take her to Hospital in a catatonic state, so the only way round it was to give her control, ---- 100%. Control.
I enjoy your videos these videos help me,I'm really suffing bad at the moment
If someone has a question about ocd, please let me know. I'll try to help you.
Who cares about them though I am the one with OCD. I am the one who needs help. So who cares what they think isn’t it more about what I think about myself and the changes that I need to make for myself in order to be a better person.
Stuff Peter, Paul amd Mary! They have quite a bit to say but it means nothing to nobody
I have lots of videos about how to help yourself - I hope you can access them and put them into practice. However, it can also be helpful if those around you know how to support you.
I’m trying to understand my boyfriend who has OCD a little more. He is pretty open about it, but i suspect he is not completely aware all his compulsions(sprry if wrong words are used, english is not my first language). Some of his struggles with ocd is thoughts. He can get fixated on a single thought for days, maybe a week or more. For example he can ask me if i was sad or mad a particular day, that maybe was a week ago. I dont remember. Most likely it was nothing. My question is can “monitoring” feelings be a type of ocd? I have noticed he always studies my face, if I am tired he will always question me if I am upset. Even when I tell him I am tired after work. He will keep on pressing. Or he will pay attention to how I breath for example. He will think I am sad, and I don’t know where he gets it from. But he tells me I looked sad. This things have been building up over time. He can think I am irritated because I walked a little faster than I “normally” do. I didn’t use emojies when I answered him, so I am mad at him for something, when in reality I was busy doing something. I love him so much but it can honestly get so exhausting, and to be honest it makes me really self aware and insecure. I can tell he doesn’t mean to make me feel that way. I know I should talk to him, but I’m also scared of planting new thoughts if that makes sense
Regarding you feeling self-aware or insecure: always remember it's not about you. OCD targets things your partner loves the most and tries to find something that might be wrong in eg. the relatioship you two have or in you. Your situation sounds like mine. To an outsider my wife would appear to be looking for the smallest things in my actions, words, behaviour to support her thoughts about our relationship. Career-wise I can see how she overanalyzes her work environment and starts avoidance due to whatever reason she convinces herself to be the root-cause of whatever she is feeling. My advice for you: make sure to take care of yourself, keep your hobbies and me-time and friends. Have (or learn about) boundaries. You're in the right place go be listening to Katie's content. If possible, you could also read Jon Abramowitz's book The family guide to getting over OCD. And listen to OCD stories episodes about ROCD.
Hello, my boyfriend has OCD as well… I don’t really know how to help him. At the moment, if he overthinks something then I will overexplain, and when he needs it I give him reassurance. What else can I do? 😭
An incredible video. Rarely see this particular kind of content. It’s almost content for a comedy sketch. I wish I could have some sessions with you (for my relationship OCD)
Hi I am sixteen and am terrified of becoming an evil person and loosing control of myself. I find it terrifying that people do evil things and I don’t understand why. I suffer from intrusive thoughts and I keep thinking is this what bad people have and why they do bad things. I constantly need reassurance that I will not become or am not evil and things are getting really bad. I think it is ocd because I have compulsions that go along with this and it is causing me a lot of distress. I feel like I just need certainty that i will not become bad or that I am not bad and it is making my life hell. I can’t think of anything else, I can’t do anything, and can’t sleep. I am starting to lose hope I am so scared. What should I do?
Hey, it sounds like OCD (especially the intrusive thoughts). I have OCD and going to a therapist helped me😀
@@brandonwiesen2658 did you do ERP?
The more you pay attention to your fear and the more you seek reassurance or try and control or compensate for the fear (e.g by avoiding or by doing extra ‘good’ stuff etc) the worse it will get. I would recommend either seeing a therapist who specialises in treating ocd or if that’s tricky then grab a copy of ‘Managing ocd with CBT for Dummies” (you should be able to get it from a library) and use the book in conjunction with these videos and you’ll be able to help yourself overcome the problem.
@@gitanjalireddy4372 no, I took meds and ended up realizing (through therapy) the intrusive thoughts were just a medical issue. The less I paid attention to the thoughts, the weaker they became.
@@brandonwiesen2658 that's great news for you, I am truly happy for you :D. what about new forms of intrusive thoughts that keep popping up once you've learnt to ignore thoughts of a nature? For eg, if you have thoughts about harming people and you successfully overcome it only to get the fear of going crazy and then once you tackle that you're again beat down by something completely different? I'm sorry, I am just super low on will power to fight my intrusions at this point which I suspect are from hormonal imbalance than being a mental disorder for me to mentally battle it.
Can you do a video on schizophrenia/psychosis-themed OCD?
I just found your channel and I just want to say thank you. I hope your tips and advice helps me. Do you have any other tips for a beginner for managing my ocd? My ocd is mainly active making sure i turned off something or checking lights over and over.
Thank you Dr. Katie
I've recently made some videos about checking and I'm just about to upload one about checking electrical appliances too so watch this space.
I have a compulsion with checking blood pressure, how can I get past this?
Appreciate this video BUT a script prepared before hand will definitely make your presentation more professional.
Love ur videos thank you so much
Thank you ....
Yr video is help full 👍👍
Thanks Arif.
Hi Katie I've been watching your channel since 2018! .... but I don't think I've quite made some break throughs in my Exposures because I don't think I've added the magic ingredient yet? where I make myself feel worse? lol ..... of course I've thunk bad thoughts and NOT performed a compulsion .... anyway my OCD seems devious, I will give an example,
"if I don't wash my hands or close the door 8 times, I might get cancer in 4 years" ..... or forget about the rituals, "I might get cancer in 4 years" unless I pray, wash my hands, unthink the thought ..... can you point me a video Katie where it can segue way into my fears? Now I might get cancer in 4 years, I might get cancer in 4 years .... there isn't a feasible way to NOT do a compulsion, make myself feel worse AND wait 4 years and beyond to assure myself I won't get cancer?
Or get killed in a car off a bridge? lol
I have this weird OCD that appears to bully me into saying "this bad thing will happen in such and such number of years" since we can't fast forward time, any of your videos or techniques you might point me to to help me live with the Uncertainty that a such and such bad thing may happen when? ...... or could you segue into how similar this is to fundamental OCD anyway?
OK so this is a common problem where because the feared outcome is far in the future it feels like you can't act against it because you imagine you will live in fear for the next four years until you discover whether or not your fear comes true. However, what we see doing ERP is that you learn that even though you don't have the answer you will habituate to the fear and you will actually stop worrying about the possibility of getting cancer in 4 years in a relatively short time....
@@23katied Thank u so much Katie! yeah i forgot the goal is NOT to stop the thoughts or to get my answers, but to habituate to the fear so i won't perpetuate my vicious flower or anything .... question though sometimes in my exposures i sometimes find i myself am overwhelmed so i perform my compulsions either avoidance behaviors or undoing actions i did ...... if that is a case will it be helpful if i make my ERP more long winded but bearable? meaning the exposures could take place a whole day or week round so i cannot avoid or undo things?
for example i might say i am afraid i will get killed in a car crash in 4 years time .... and i watch Grace Kelly films and videos cuz that is a terrifying association of someone getting killed in a car crash or watch many films with people called Grace ..... or cars ...... how can i ensure i won't regress to neutralizing or avoidance behaviors? the exposures are pretty small to medium in my hierarchy, will i benefit if i made them even longer? thanks again Katie and more power!
@@singerfilmmaker Sometimes it is hard to stop yourself neutralising - if you find you are doing this you basically need to re-expose yourself or make yourself feel worse again - e.g if you say - "oh no that won't happen" and you feel better, you notice this and say "well you don't know for sure, it could well happen" - this will probably increase your fear short term but make the ERP more effective. IF you keep doing this eventually your brain will give up doing the compulsion because it learns that it is pointless.
Are you doing CBT via face to face virtual sessions ?
I don’t understand how could be helpful not give reassurance to someone who’s asking owo like ‘in the long therm they will learn not to ask US for reassurance’… but they may find other way to find it (maybe more dangerous or unhealthy?), so which is the benefit? I don’t want to sound angry, just questioning because it doesn’t feel right or helpful (but again, I’m translating from other language so maybe I didn’t understand)
Do your part in not giving them reassurance. It's true they can find it elsewhere: from other family members, friends, healthcare workers or online. That is not in your control. But if you give the reassurance it starts taking the toll on you when you're answering same things over and over, or going into long discussions about non-issues.
Thanks mam. How to compare the thoughts with clouds? Can I imagine intentionally think like thoughts are passing like cloud?
Sure why not? Often people use the idea of letting thoughts pass like cars on a busy road or like leaves floating down a stream. You can use whatever helps you get the idea BUT be clear you are not PUTTING your thoughts on the clouds so they can float away you are just letting them pass as you would a cloud.
@@23katied Really thank you so much mam what you mean by I am a cloud sorry mam I don't understand
Katie could I reach out to you please.
My 12 yr old son has recently expressed some OCD tendencies and how they are upsetting him. One thing he always does before leaving the house is he asks me if he has everything he needs. Then he calls out certain items that he knows he needs to have. I will then confirm for him that he does in fact have everything he needs. Is that aiding his OCD? Should I respond with, “I’m not really sure. You should check.”
I think u are. U soothe him and affirm he is ok and ready to move on from that thought
Actually im watching this video to help myself 😢😅
I want to let intrusive thoughts pass away, but will it work if I first make a quick gesture of rolling my eyes to express boredom?
I do that myself. I laugh & call it out saying something like "wtf dude that's just weird, anyways I got work & as I was saying..." I go back to my work. That way we give it less prestige and consequently less power. Hang in there with some will power you shall pass this phase :)
You don't have to do anything about these 'clouds'. Just let them flow by like a river. It's that easy!
I don't see why not - as long as you don't feel you HAVE to do the eye rolling but instead use it to remind yourself of the attitude you intend to take.
Shefet bro Shu ocd m2ayar don't think about it even if you feel distressed I trust myself mn Abel fakart ano ma sarle shi but I didn't trust myself and I gave in don't do it again I trust myself that nothing will happen. It's just a sound. Do not think in your house m2akad
You did your hair and that background on purpose.
rambling... not helpful
This is complete bd and you are a person who does not or never suffered. This is nothing that is helpful to me. This has nothing but frustratesme. Really you don't have a clue
I'm sorry you feel that way. Unfortunately the more friends and family collude with the OCD the more entrenched it becomes. Hence the need for people without OCD to understand the role they play in maintaining OCD. Cruel to be kind definitely doesn't feel good in the short term but in the long term it is much more helpful.
British accents on a chick ain't cute.