I hate that you would feel awkward sharing that you do time outs! Time outs make so much sense to me. In the real world if you are being mean, or hurting someone it is extremely likely that someone will want space from us! When I'm in a bad mood and more likely to be hurtful towards my loved ones I remove myself from them so I can calm down and recollect myself. It's just really logical 🤷🏼♀️
You can do that as an adult. But kids this age are not capable of emotional regulation by themselves. They need to be helped. So it should be time Ins not time outs.
@@reenumariabasil4947 Forgot to include that I do think it depends on the age! I have a 18 month old and still don't do time outs just yet because I know he won't understand it. But I do think that time outs make sense for children at a certain age! I guess I'll know when it's time :) If we're afraid of our kids feeling abandoned then it's probably not the right time. If my 5 year old hits his sibling then I am perfectly okay with him feeling abandoned for a few minutes, hurting another person is serious! 🤣 If that's harsh then I guess I'm harsh!
I think more than ANYTHING else I LOVE the fact that you are willing to admit that you aren't "super maternal" and just work through it. I've ALWAYS wanted kids, but I'm not sure I'm super maternal. It makes me feel a little better knowing that I'm not incredibly odd or self-centered by feeling this way. I love my kids more than anything (aside from my husband) in this world, but I'm not a doting mother. I think it's awesome that you feel that and just admit it! Thank you!!!
Totally random, but your hair is beautiful! I’m interested to know what kind of hair shampoo/conditioner or products in general you use? It looks super healthy.
I’m barely getting baby fever and my son just turned three last month. 😅 I always said I didn’t want my kids close in age for my own mental sanity because motherhood can be tough.
Hi! I just found your channel and love it! I’ve been watching alot of your videos and catching up. Love your content, and your realness/ vulnerability. Thank you!
Thank you for making your open and honest videos about the struggles you’ve been facing lately, about being so angry etc. They’ve been so helpful to me since I’m going through the same things.
I’m currently pregnant with baby #2 and I fully relate to the not having baby fever this time! I’m just not a fan of pregnancy. Can’t wait until she’s here and knew I wanted them to be somewhere between 2-3 years apart but that’s about it.
I feel the same way about adding a third. I don't want to want it because it would make things so much harder, and my pregnancies are very difficult. But babies!
Your example for Josh is so sweet! I know it seems like common sense to some people, but I really struggle with doing those kinds of things...I always have ,it's not partner specific. I just never grew up being taught or shown how to properly express emotions/feelings. So hearing about every day actions that can be seen as showing love to someone are helpful! My partner has asked me multiple times to pick out an outfit for him, and I always brush it off as kind of annoying. Why can't he pick his own clothes out, he's a grown man? I would NEVER ask him to pick out clothes for me because I like things my specific way, but to HIM that's me showing him how much I care about him/cutesy. Why did that just click right now?
I would call that a time in or co regulation break. Like you said, you're not abandoning them to their big feelings. The leaving them alone with their feelings is what the people that find that term controversial have a problem with.
Im currently 14 weeks pregnant witb baby #2, i got pregnant when my daughter was only 10 months. Im freaking out about not feeling a certain way so thank you for being open.
Regarding the time outs: the logic behind not doing timeouts is that you don't effectively teach the child that you're only there for them when they're good and happy, but when they act up and having a hard time too. Your love is not conditional. But what you're doing, sitting with him... Sounds perfectly reasonable. It's more like time away, or time to breathe rather than time out. You're still there to co regulate. You just withdrew yourselves from the situation. I think you're doing great 👍
I had alone time outs as with many many other people my age and we didn’t turn out to think our parents have conditions on their love. Children these days need to understand that yes there are consequence’s and when they do something bad, they won’t just have mom or dad come sit beside them and solve it. Talk to teachers in this time and they will all say it’s been horrible teaching these kids now. It’s terrifying. Everyone is so scared to give their kids rules and consequences.
I am a mother of two and the thing is, both of my kids are so different. My older one literally send me away when I stayed with him and the other one let me help him through his anger. I think both of my kids know that I love them unconditionally but time outs have been so helpful for both- me and my child.
I hate that you would feel awkward sharing that you do time outs! Time outs make so much sense to me. In the real world if you are being mean, or hurting someone it is extremely likely that someone will want space from us! When I'm in a bad mood and more likely to be hurtful towards my loved ones I remove myself from them so I can calm down and recollect myself. It's just really logical 🤷🏼♀️
You can do that as an adult. But kids this age are not capable of emotional regulation by themselves. They need to be helped. So it should be time Ins not time outs.
@@reenumariabasil4947 Forgot to include that I do think it depends on the age! I have a 18 month old and still don't do time outs just yet because I know he won't understand it. But I do think that time outs make sense for children at a certain age! I guess I'll know when it's time :) If we're afraid of our kids feeling abandoned then it's probably not the right time. If my 5 year old hits his sibling then I am perfectly okay with him feeling abandoned for a few minutes, hurting another person is serious! 🤣 If that's harsh then I guess I'm harsh!
I think more than ANYTHING else I LOVE the fact that you are willing to admit that you aren't "super maternal" and just work through it. I've ALWAYS wanted kids, but I'm not sure I'm super maternal. It makes me feel a little better knowing that I'm not incredibly odd or self-centered by feeling this way. I love my kids more than anything (aside from my husband) in this world, but I'm not a doting mother. I think it's awesome that you feel that and just admit it! Thank you!!!
Totally random, but your hair is beautiful! I’m interested to know what kind of hair shampoo/conditioner or products in general you use? It looks super healthy.
I couldn’t stop admiring her hair it’s mesmerizing!
Same!
Wait… time outs are controversial now? 🤦🏻♀️
Right? How are people supposed to discipline their kids at all? No wonder gen alpha is reportedly so horrible lol
I’m barely getting baby fever and my son just turned three last month. 😅 I always said I didn’t want my kids close in age for my own mental sanity because motherhood can be tough.
I love how real and relatable you are!
Hi! I just found your channel and love it! I’ve been watching alot of your videos and catching up. Love your content, and your realness/ vulnerability. Thank you!
Thank you for making your open and honest videos about the struggles you’ve been facing lately, about being so angry etc. They’ve been so helpful to me since I’m going through the same things.
Im so glad to hear I’m not alone!
It's more like "time in" when you sit with the child and that is actually a good thing for the child 🥰
Love this
I’m currently pregnant with baby #2 and I fully relate to the not having baby fever this time! I’m just not a fan of pregnancy. Can’t wait until she’s here and knew I wanted them to be somewhere between 2-3 years apart but that’s about it.
I feel the same way about adding a third. I don't want to want it because it would make things so much harder, and my pregnancies are very difficult. But babies!
Your example for Josh is so sweet! I know it seems like common sense to some people, but I really struggle with doing those kinds of things...I always have ,it's not partner specific. I just never grew up being taught or shown how to properly express emotions/feelings. So hearing about every day actions that can be seen as showing love to someone are helpful! My partner has asked me multiple times to pick out an outfit for him, and I always brush it off as kind of annoying. Why can't he pick his own clothes out, he's a grown man? I would NEVER ask him to pick out clothes for me because I like things my specific way, but to HIM that's me showing him how much I care about him/cutesy. Why did that just click right now?
Your hair is looking maxing!
Amazing *😂
I would call that a time in or co regulation break. Like you said, you're not abandoning them to their big feelings. The leaving them alone with their feelings is what the people that find that term controversial have a problem with.
Im currently 14 weeks pregnant witb baby #2, i got pregnant when my daughter was only 10 months. Im freaking out about not feeling a certain way so thank you for being open.
YES to couples therapy!!!
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Have you ever used Better Help?
Regarding the time outs: the logic behind not doing timeouts is that you don't effectively teach the child that you're only there for them when they're good and happy, but when they act up and having a hard time too. Your love is not conditional. But what you're doing, sitting with him... Sounds perfectly reasonable. It's more like time away, or time to breathe rather than time out. You're still there to co regulate. You just withdrew yourselves from the situation. I think you're doing great 👍
I had alone time outs as with many many other people my age and we didn’t turn out to think our parents have conditions on their love. Children these days need to understand that yes there are consequence’s and when they do something bad, they won’t just have mom or dad come sit beside them and solve it. Talk to teachers in this time and they will all say it’s been horrible teaching these kids now. It’s terrifying. Everyone is so scared to give their kids rules and consequences.
I am a mother of two and the thing is, both of my kids are so different. My older one literally send me away when I stayed with him and the other one let me help him through his anger. I think both of my kids know that I love them unconditionally but time outs have been so helpful for both- me and my child.
I can’t believe you’re still supporting better help…
I know so many people who love using them!
So if you’re doing in person therapy then you aren’t even using better help, your sponsor?
Yup! Just because I wanted face to face therapy. If my preference was online, then BettetHelp would be my first choice!