💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖 And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here: amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/
This song brings the memory back of when I tried to end it by hanging myself dicing my arm up to ribbons and taking a bunch of pills only to be found by my nephew
@Amanda Webster we've all been there but we are not alone, we have friends to help us through tough times and are always there to prevent us from committing the greatest sin. "Suicide", I should know I use to be suicidal because my stepmom tormented me day in & out for 10 years but one day my best friend since 3rd grade helped me and I'm a whole new person today. it's always good to keep the faith not only in yourself but also in the people that love you.
If memory serves me right, it was his girlfriend at the time that took her life due to a really bad addiction. From my understanding, David said doing this song years later was extremely cathartic and helped him overcome alot of his grief over loosing her. Hence 1 of many reasons i love their music, so much story behind most of their songs. As a side note: there's another song by disturbed you should TRY to listen to. Hold on to the memories. I'll warn you now, it'll tear up big time. I'm 40, ex law enforcement, and I will frigging ugly cry in record time hearing that song. It's so good but dang if it ain't tear jerker and heart string snatcher.
You are right there is a whole story behind it that he explains its heartbreaking I highly recommend looking up do some research about the song and the meaning behind it its powerful.
Her parents also blamed him since in her suicide note she mentions that he refused to get back with her unless she kicked her addiction. The voice he heard he said was the devil trying to entice him to kill himself so he could be with her again in hell. On that note the song is basically sung from the perspective of the devil. Side note, he was like 14 (if I remember correctly) and she was in her mid 20s.
It breaks my heart to see tears in your eyes . The world needs more beautiful souls like you. You have helped me in a lot of ways. Thank you for being there for me and for so many others.
One thing about metal bands is they are not afraid to talk about subjects that are difficult to talk about. They realize the need to bring it up and it's exactly what they do.
I spent about 4 months bedridden, ended up in the er, and the whole time I was staring at a rifle mounted on my wall. Your videos actually helped. So thanks. I still look at my gun, but not the same way.
I'm sorry that you were ever in that position, but I'm so glad that you're still here and I'm humbled to be even a small part of that 💖 Please reach out if you ever need to talk.
Look at that gun as a trophy. A battle you won. It was the weapon of an unseen enemy and you took it away from them. Anytime you feel low, look at it and remember you won. It's kinda similar to what I do. N.S.D. never stay down
I'm a survivor of multiple attempts, I'm now 8 years since my last one. Everyday more is an achievement, because you fight an internal battle, with demons only you know the extent of. If anyone needs help reach out to someone or a helpline. I know it's hard, god do I know, but there are so many things to experience, so many little joys that you've yet to see. Remember, you are not a burden. You are enough. No one, not even yourself, gets to tell you otherwise.
I have loved Disturbed's work since their early days, but this video is one I cant watch. Seen it once and it brought back too much pain. I was 21 and my girlfriend's younger sister passed away after a painful battle with bowel cancer. Paula, my girlfriend, and I were with her through it. Paula lived for her sister. She was like a sister to me too. A few days after the funeral I was heading over to Paula's place after work. I'd been spending all my spare time there. I walked in to find her hanging from the roof beam. She was gone and there was nothing I could do. I was already in a suicidal state, still dealing with a long childhood of abuse. It took me a good 5 years to drag myself out of the numbing from their deaths and start to address it. Now, a week shy of 42, I'm in a very different space. Suicidal compulsion is no longer a factor for me. I have dealt with and stripped away many defenses and barriers in my head and have been addressing the raw, core problems in my mind. I have love in my life again. I will never stop loving Paula and Kimmy. But I still cant watch that video
Thanks for sharing your story. Im glad you are r here to tell the tale. I can't imagine what it must ve like living through that. Kudos to yiu. Stay strong.
This is one of the videos that helped to deter me from that finality. During the time that I started to listen to Disturbed, I was in a very dark place and I was hurting myself but then this video made me consider the perspective of those around me (my family)...what was needed to be considered. To see the pain of someone discovering a person they love like that.
You showed how quick you grabbed the message of this song. Your reaction is very heart felt and shows your dedication to preventing and helping them who struggle with those demons. David is huge on that same help. This song portrays what we suffer through when the devil confronts us. I have struggled with them demons many times. Music and counseling has always kept me strong. I added going to concerts to that list. David Draimen says it best at every concert Disturbed does. It's one big group therapy session. Thank you Amanda.
I've seen many people react to this song, but nobody has picked up on so much accurate information on the songs lyrics so quickly. You're past struggles aid that ability I'm sure. Thank you for being vulnerable to help others through their difficult times. I know it's not in vain.
I would love to see you react to Five Finger Death Punch: "Coming Down". The song has gotten me through a lot of rough times. Also I'm sorry for your loss. I know saying that doesn't really change anything, personally I hate hearing it. IMO "I'm sorry for your loss" or "My condolences" are just what you are supposed to say. FOR ME I what I need is just someone to be there, someone who gets it. The feeling of not being alone is more powerful than any words someone can say. This past Monday (2/7/2022) was the three year anniversary of my cousin not waking up from his coma. Between a few of my friends being there to hang out so I wasn't isolating and putting on a few songs I was able to make it through. R.I.P. Anthony M. 3/13/1991-02/07/2019
I’m glad your light didn’t go out. We need angels like you to spread a positive and encouraging message, that we are never alone. We are interconnected. 🖤🙏🏻
It was about one of David's ex girlfriend who committed suicide. I'm not sure how she done it but judging by the video, she hung herself. "Devon, no longer living. She's just another soul never to be mine again". It's about the guilt of loosing someone and having the feeling that you could have saved them. The story to this song is really deep man.
Seeing you react that way actually brought tears to my eyes... I'm not a religious person myself but I do have to say this... The devils that plauge our minds hold no power to our unwavering will and iron clad strength. They will give. We won't. You're not alone in this fight. Ready your arms and face the foe head on with no mercy.
I first heard this song when playing Madden ‘09 but I never really listened to the lyrics. Just kind of rocked out with it before playing a video game… Now, after reading more about David Draiman, his life story, and realizing how talented the man is, this song just hits completely differently than it did when I was in my mid 20’s. Speak up if you need help, don’t be silent and don’t go quietly into the night. There is at least one person you know who will be your light in a time of darkness. God bless you all.
You can see your primal fight or flight mechanism quickly. Glad you posted this. Probably hardest song and video you have done. Help spread awareness. You are a blessing for those of us who have been there
Hi Amanda, you posted this video some time ago now, so I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I wanted to thank you for being real and raw with your emotions in this and other videos. I feel like too often people worry about showing negative emotions because they’re worried about the effect it’ll have on other people, but I always appreciate it when people allow themselves to be vulnerable.
I just stumbled onto your channel, and I've got to say, as a suicide survivor, with history of PTSD and MDD (major depressive disorder) myself this song helped me through some hard times, mainly by allowing me to channel my anger into motivation to get out and say "I won't let this bring me down, I AM stronger". Stay strong everyone reading this, don't be mad at yourself for your past, be mad at the demons and CRUSH THEM DOWN.
your reactions and words to this song were so powerful, i fight the demon of depression every day, it breaks me down and drains every ounce of energy i have to fight and keep myself from going down that path every single day, and therapy nor medicines help at all. im left to fight this hell of an illness alone, but your reaction to this song reminded me that im not alone in this fight, i have friends and allies that can help pull me out of it. thank you for the reminders amanda, and im glad i found you and your channel.
Talk about watching you have a PTSD moment gave Me a PTSD moment. I have tried to watch that video before but was unable to do so. Seeing your courage and strength helped me to finish your video and hear your insight. Thank you for being a voice. You are such a brave person
I know 2 people that committed suicide, both brothers. It is so very sad. They were in their late 20's and they come from a great family and a close family. One of them got very depressed because the mother of his child was dating someone. An alcohol fueled evening and a handgun was all it took from there. All lost life is sad, but it is super sad when someone thinks there is nothing to live for when they are surrounded by people that love them. To our lost loved ones......... RIP
I had a friend who was transgender and we played online on a game together nearly every day. We became very good friends. We played the same game constantly for years. I was informed about 5 years ago that they took their own life. It still bothers me to this day and I think one of the things this highlights is that if you think you harming yourself will make it easier for those you leave behind you are wrong. They never really get over it. They learn to live with it or they don't. You are loved, even if you think you aren't, you are. There is someone in your life who loves you. Remember that and get help. You getting help will mean so much to you and them. They just want to see you happy. I miss you and wish you lived long enough to see me make my dreams come true. It's not the same without you here.
A friend of mine, when we were around 24-25 years old. He had a lil baby with his girlfriend. One evening his girlfriend went for an evening walk, and he stayed home to put the baby in the grib for a sleep and feed the baby etc. Later when his girlfriend came back home, he found my friend hanging in the bedroom next to the grib where the baby was calmly sleeping. He hung himself between their bed and the baby's bed... 25 year old guy, he had a good job, no drug or alcohol abuse, newborn baby and a great girlfriend by his side...
I see many overreactions when watching gameplays and other reactors, but damn, this has to be one of the most genuine because of your experiences through life Hands up to your will power
wow, that was powerful and you're so strong to watch that and comment on it after going through what you did. While I can't say I understand what you all are going through I can say I know for a fact you're an inspiration and you are helping people. That is an amazing thing.
Talking really is the solution. i went through some rough times recently, and while I didn't try to actively kill myself, i just stopped caring about myself, just did some things a normal human would be very scared of, because of an inherent risk of dying. Thankfully some people in my school (yes, I'm only 18 and a very average student otherwise) noticed I was acting different than ever before (yes, I already went through a crisis before) and asked me what was up. I decided it couldn't get any worse and just opened up, told everything. Instead of being scared or alienated, they talked me through it, now I am on a good way out of this dark hole. Not quite out of it yet, but I can tell tell you, if you think life has nothing left for you anyway, there is no reason to erect walls around you, just talk to everyone who has an ear for you. If you could end it any day anyway, there is no need to hold back, just talk. Edit: hope this doesn't sound too harsh, I'm still dealing with it myself, and my way of doing so is pretty cynical humour at times, but I'm trying to tell how I found the direction to the exit
I lost two people I loved near the same time. One to suicide, the other to murder. I felt responsible for both.. blamed myself for both because both times I wasn't there to help them when they needed it most. I tortured myself.. physically, emotionally. I still have scars on my hand from the time I shattered my reflection in the mirror. I would hurt myself until I physically couldn't anymore... I attempted suicide 5 separate times. Each time, I was lucky enough to either fail my attempt or lucky enough that someone intervened at just the right time. My mother saved my life, and to this day, she didn't even realize she did... I never had the heart to tell her afterward That was 5 years ago. 3 years ago, while I wasn't suicidal anymore and was actively trying to keep SH to a minimum, I still found myself afraid or unwilling to live. Merely to exist. 2 years ago, I finally found people who care about me. A second family, people who listened, who understood, who helped me recover. 1 year ago. I started taking back control of my life and my emotions, with plenty of help from my friends and my therapist. I wasn't 100% how I felt I should be, but it was better than staying locked inside that hell. 6 months ago, I celebrated. I celebrated because for the first time in my life, I felt happy. Not a manic high, not a fleeting feeling of joy, but consistently happy. I kept track of it months before, and it noticed it stayed with me even being off medication for a few years. Today, that feeling hasn't gone away. I'm a year and a half sober. And I live now with one goal in mind. Make as many good memories as I can, while I can. I'm still acutely aware of my own mortality and know just how easily life can be taken away. I'm only here because I got lucky several times. But I know all it takes is getting unlucky once, and it's all over.
Do Disturbed's "Hold On To Memories" to pay tribute to all those that have lost people they loved. Whether from suicide, addiction, or otherwise. It's a beautiful song.
Thank you for reacting to this song!! Back in 2004, when I was 12, I was bullied very very badly by this one boy. It got to the point where I asked my mom "What would happen if I just go die?" I went to counseling in the school for several months, and they tried to council him too, but his thoughts remained unchanged. Even though he was such a trashcan to me, I hope he eventually became a better person. I signed a contract with my counselor that I promise to never take my life. I still have the contract folded up in my jewelry box to this day.
I'm not one who has dealt with suicidal depression but for what I can do is to support and guide people who are into to live a good life. Im prepared to fight for happiness for them if need be. I appreciate your encouragung words and I say thank you.
I've seen this video before, and the beginning rattled me. After seeing that Amanda would react to this video, I couldn't help but find out how she would react to the beginning, and I don't think I've felt a stronger urge to comfort a stranger outside of an actual tragedy. I'm reminded of the quote "Suicide doesn't remove your pain; it just moves it to the people who love you the most."
I'm owner of a vast collection of mental problems myself. Actually I stood on the window sill when I was eight years old. Standing there no one was holding me back, no intervention of a God, my mother told me he' ll be there to protect me. And I recognized there IS no god, so there can't be a paradise, no better or worse life after death, that I only have this ONE life. I entered my room and started fighting. My life is a chain of mishaps and being happy means for me that the next desaster doesn't occur too soon. There are no expectations this will change, and sometimes I hope to die by accident soon, but I haven't and won't try to commit suicide again. I'm 53.
Thank you for sharing your story. Life is suffering. That is what Buddhists believe. But it's the overcoming of it, the living with it and the finding beauty/meaning in it that make life worth it.
Currently in the weeds with my fiance, shes having a rough time. All the communities i can reach, this one included are really helpful. Just wanted to say thankyou, to you and this supremely positive community x
I as a current suicide survivor this song is the reason I’m still alive hearing this song helped me get threw all the ptsd and depression I deal with in my daily life I’m great til for discovering disturbed and their music❤❤
I haven’t even gotten through your entire reaction and I just want to hold you and brace you while watching this. You are safe…. I respect you and your ability to watch this. And how quickly you recognized the meaning. Many people think David/Disturbed is telling people to unalive themselves, when it is really the devil. I felt your emotion! Omg! The end of this video took me surprise when I first saw it because it’s how my niece died. Also knowing this is biographical for David makes it such a personally emotional video.
One of my highschool friends blew his brains out with a shotgun. Only a few miles away from me. My father's friend had to discover him. Only a few months later his own son killed himself in the same fashion. I live with the felling of him and my friend every day. It never gets easy, but the memory keeps me going. Through anything. Rest in peace Nick. You were my friend.
I hope that they found peace and that you continue to find strength. If you ever need to share memories of them so we can help keep them alive too, feel free
To anyone watching watching this and struggling with life. I have a quote for you. A quote that is very true. From Rocky. It may not be an exact quote but here it is. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. There aint no one or nothing that's gonna hit harder than life, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there if you let it. But it's not about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Anyway I hope that helped in someway. Keep your head up and stay strong. God bless to all of you ❤
I remember that scene.. a variation of it I always heard was " it don't matter if your hit once or 100 times. Just make sure you get up 2 times or 101".
Forgive me for finding this so late. Amanda, the sheer depth of strength you have shown in this reaction video is beyond description. I have never experienced such a power of conviction than in your determination to demonstrate that there is no I, there is no you, there is only us in battling depression & addiction because only by banding together can people overcome the demons. Thank you for being the inspiration so many people need to accept that it's ok to not be ok & there is no shame or weakness in asking for help.
Struggling tonight. Was cool to come across this with you. I been watching a few videos tonight and.... kind of a good thing that I stumbled on... not just the song... but your reaction to it. You are doing good things.
Hey Amanda. Such a wonderful reaction video. What you said about a diseased mind not damning a soul was so beautiful and moving, I've never heard anyone put it quite like that before. I admire your strength for being able to do what you do, and I know you are helping people by doing it. An absolutely amazing song I hope you can react to is Emma by a band called Hot Chocolate. The song is from 1974. If you can find the video with the band performing, you can see the raw emotion in the singers face and hear it in his voice, like he is reliving the moment. It is a truly heartbreaking and beautiful song.
I'm a survivor myself. Specifically an attempted hanging. Thankfully my makeshift device failed and I woke up on the floor. This experience convinced me to confront my issues and I've learned to live with it. I understand now that I will always have these thoughts and feelings but they aren't actually my thoughts or feelings but simply the symptoms of an illness. That point of view has helped me tremendously and maybe someone else out there can make it work for them too
Disturbed fan but 1st time with this song. I had lost a lot of loved ones the cancer and put my life on hold too help raise my granddaughters when they're dad passed. My daughters new fiance moved them 4000 miles away and I got really close to a young lady I'd known since she was 17 we became best friends and were each others support system. A couple months ago she hung herself without warning and I've been struggling ever since. Thinking i want to see her and my other loved ones that's went ahead. It's a struggle every night! But yes suicide isn't unpardonable bladhpheming the Holy Spirit is. 1 day at a time!
I just discovered your channel, and I'm loving it. Your analysis of some of the songs are very interesting. And the truth is that it is difficult for me to keep my composure when I see that some of the songs hit you especially hard. I have been living with depression for more than 10 years, when my mother passed away, and more than once I wanted to end it all. I hit rock bottom 3 years ago when I found out that one of my best friends, almost a brother to me, was an abuser. It completely destroyed me, but I found the strength, I don't know where, and started therapy. Today, after 2 years of treatment with medication I am much better. Sometimes some cloud appears, but I try to keep my head busy so I don't think about it. I would like to recommend two songs to you: "Viernes 3 A.M." (Friday 3. A.M.), by a band from my country (Argentina) called Seru Giran, which was one of the most important bands of Argentine rock. It talks about suicide, but in an extremely poetic way. The other song is "Quedándote o Yéndote" (the translation would be something like "to stay or to go"). It is by Luis Alberto Spinetta, considered the Father of Argentine Rock. And it has beautiful lyrics about... well, not giving up and going on. The only problem is that they are in Spanish, so if you don't know the language, you might have to find a translated lyric, and I don't know if there is one. I hope you can give them a listen. Best wishes.
Back again lol, I always find myself coming back to your videos because of how your reactions are so genuine. I'm an HSP and you are so expressive with your emotions that I find myself feeling the exact same way you do, gut punches, shaking, and all. Just wanted to comment again and let you know that I really appreciate the genuineness and vulnerability you bring to a platform thats all too often fake. In all honesty I do worry about how you handle unexpected things like what you saw at the beginning, it seemed like it really hit you hard (and being an HSP I absorb the shock of your reaction to it every time). Do scenes like that at the beginning stay with you for days or how do you handle it?
I took time after the video to ground myself and process the content. I've been working through certain triggers like this as well, largely through controlled exposure therapy, and have made a lot of progress!
This song is somewhat autobiographical when he was around 15 or 16 he was dating a girl they were madly in love but she had an addiction problem I am not sure if they were still together or if they had just broken up. She ended up killing herself I am not sure if like in the video he found her body or not. But after her death he was devastated by it and much of the songs lyrics are what he thought and experienced. These dark thoughts and a voice that kept trying to encourage him to act on them. He says writing this song was deeply cathartic for him. That even after so many years it was still weighing on him and this song finally let him get it out. So yeah is is very personal to him.
Hard time listening to this. Lost wife to breast cancer. Assisted legal suicide. Terminal breast cancer. She suffered a LOT. 9 yrs ago. I’ve heard this voice many times. Join her. Join her join her. If it wasn’t for our son I’d probably had ended my life years ago. Almost did last year after losing my job of 20 years and terrified of not working again. but her last words saved me. Told me to live for our boy and not to cry over her for rest of my life and find love again. But I found work right as I was in my darkest place giving long looks to my 9mm. I’m in a better place now with a job I totally love. Life’s a struggle but it’s one that’s bearable now.
I'm so happy that you're still here with us. You get to find ways to love life again, honor your wife and love your boy, but you're also showing people that there IS another side to the pain. That we can find joy and healing even when our Shadow tries to convince us otherwise.
Disturbed, especially David, have a perfect method of showing the emotions associated with this subject. The sadness, the extreme anger, and even the lack of emotions from shutting down. It's all related.
Amanda, after watching a heap of your vids, i finally stumbled upon this one.. and all I can say is, I'm glad you reacted this one, and got through it. Sharing with others is what it's all about. So.. Thank you.
I call on patrons and subscribers to request 1 of 9 spectacular songs for Amanda to react to. All are perfect for her channel. Pink - Perfect (the clean version), Death Angel - Lost, Death Angel - Veil of Deception, Guano Apes - Open your eyes, Five for Fighting - World, Collective Soul - The World I Know, Alter Bridge - Blackbird, Tremonti - Marching in Time, Shinedown - Monsters. All offer a lot to discuss. Thanks
You’re a very brave young woman to do all you do for mental health awareness, and tackling this song was obviously very difficult for you, so thank you. I am one of the fortunate few who have never had suicide or severe mental illness come into my own little world bubble, and this song/video are still like a kick in the gut for me. Honestly, Disturbed’s music has such a capacity to make a person feel something even if they don’t have a direct connection themselves that it almost injects you with how such things truly feel. This is in no way intended to elevate my own experiences or diminish those of others, but I honestly feel like they’ve made me more empathetic towards these situations, and helped me to be a better person because of it.
Amanda...this video is so in your face...and so was your reaction. I have watched this more than a few times and every time I am speechless and affected for a bit. You have found your calling. A ground angel you are. The problem with Darkness...it runs deep, has no bottom, and is a dangerous vacuum to exist in. I had no idea there were so many different shades of black. It becomes it's own entity. Thank you for shining a powerful light down into that chasm. There are many paths that will deliver us unsuspecting to that edge...grief is no joke. I do not know you but I certainly can see and feel your Light. You truly are a lighthouse in the storm. Thank you.
I happened to find you, this video, and others while in the midst of a depressive episode. I had seen this over a decade ago and i had forgotten the video. I am receiving help, and am in treatment. You are now going to be on my youtube daily. Thank you for all you do.
This one hits super close to me, it's their hardest song to listen to by far. When someone close to you takes their own life there's an incredibly strong temptation to join them, it takes a great deal of strength to avoid doing so; that's a big part of why I respect David so much, he's an intelligent and strong man who rose above his trauma so he could live a great life and make a difference in the world!
Hey guys i have never seen this video before and only in passing heard it was a rough song, not really looking into it, i checked this one out. I struggled horribly for a loooonnngggg time with thoughts of the infinite end, i am here to tell all of you it does get better. Ive crossed the road to the other side. Im safe. Im happy. Im glad i stuck it out. You will be too. Its just a speed bump, just stick around, its not so bad. I fought hard for my safety, its not easy and its not over night.
Having been the one to recommend this one, it ripped my heart out to see Amanda’s reaction. I just hope it reaches those that need it. I will forever be grateful if Amanda’s bravery and strength to share this with us.
Did you not forewarn her about the content? Like the hanging or David, vocalist, covered in blood. I knew what her reaction would be and I haven’t be one of her youtube subs very long.
@@GreathSentina I asked and she did not want to know anything about the song. I would have given her a heads up. She wants her reactions to be honest and live. Nothing with her is scripted or planned. It is brave and also why she is so genuine.
Sorry I'm late to this video. But i wanted to say that your noticeably visceral reaction to the "intro" of the video speaks volumes. Thank you for sharing this with us. You should react to "The Light" by Disturbed. Amazing song. No spoilers but i feel as though you'd like it. And again. Thank you
The visceral reaction at the beginning was haunting. Id say Disturbed have been great mental health advocates these recent years... Songs about suicide, abuse, drugs/alcoholism Are quite powerful
Wow your reaction to this one is so genuine as you have experience both sides of the meaning behind this song and its heartbreaking to see but also good for self healing 🥰🥰🥰
That feeling right there..2:40 you think you are past it, you think you are stronger, you think it's of the past, then wham something triggers (to use a devaluated word) just to show how frail the defense and how close you still are. Just shows how important it is to keep on maintaining that mental health many take for granted. The work is never over, you are never done, you can never give up on YOU... P.s By you I don't mean you particularly... eh. you get it.
First I want to say I love your channel and your openness about mental health. Not trying to trauma dump or anything I just want to share my experience with this song. Please disregard if it's too much to share. I've been a Disturbed fan for a long time. I used to listen to them all through high school and when this song came out, I understood the content but not the depth of it. It released in 2008 and I enjoyed it for a few years, but then my real understanding of it changed in 2011 with my first real bout with depression. Wednesday, February 23rd 2011, I lost one of my closest friends to suicide. The last year of his life we weren't super close, we didn't talk much, but I had known him from before kindergarten through my senior year when he passed. We grew up together. Played basketball, baseball, football together. I knew his family well and he knew mine. First time I played a PS2 was on his we stayed up all night playing Ratchet and Clank. The point is after he passed it didn't really hit me until at his funeral, seeing him in a casket and facing his mother trying to hold it together, as she told me how much he loved me. That summer I had my first bout with depression and had no idea what was going on. I was alone, parents are divorced, mom was at work during the day, so I was alone with myself and my thoughts. When I heard this song again, the real meaning of it had completely changed. For the first time I recognized the voice of the phantom David was portraying, egging you on, letting you know there's another way to escape the suffering. I did not recognize I was having anxiety or panic attacks for at least 4 years after that. Fast forward to today, it's still a struggle. And while I accept my friend's death and have moved forward, I've never really healed. I don't know if I can. At some point, the pain I felt from his passing turned into a self-loathing. The kid I once was that was driven to be exceptional at everything he put his hands on gained 150 lbs and can't focus on anything for more than 5 minutes to really learn a new hobby. But it's not all bad. I've learned those voices of doubt and self harm aren't really me. They may sound like me, but now I can recognize when my shadow is brandishing it's ugly face. My anxiety has all but disappeared with learning about Dr. K's healthygamergg channel and studying his methods of past vs present thinking. I'm still alone, but I've accomplished so much despite being held down by the physical and metaphorical weight. I still look forward to the day when I don't feel like I need to suffer just to get through the day, but the fact that I'm still looking forward is something. Sorry this is a long post. Once I got to writing I just wanted to tell someone, even if nobody actually reads it. If you've gotten this far, thanks for listening.
You can never share too much here. Thank you for opening up. It can be so hard to lose a friend, but particularly when we feel they chose to leave. As someone who nearly lost that battle herself, I can assure you that he didn't CHOSE to leave. He just didn't have the strength to stay. I understand self-loathing and self-blame as well as the best of them, but I also know that the best way we can honor their memory is by living the life they didn't have the opportunity to live. I used to cry every single morning because I dreaded the day. I promise that there's another side to that if you keep trying and keep healing. You're doing great 💖
I've had my own bouts and have lost a few close, dear, & talented friends of mine all from high school. Today, I play guitar in an undisclosed band and do other hobbies. I still feel the pain at times'. Especially after I lost my parents. My guitar & music are my main "outlet", keeps me grounded. I send huge hugs to you Amanda!❤
Certainly a shocking video and song that probability hits home for some. It certainly is one that has plenty for Amanda to discuss. Thanks for the request David. Other songs I that will give plenty for Amanda to discuss are listed in a separate comment. Many are positive and uplifting to help you for those suffering from depression.
this song is great and it hits hard. i have a lot of respect for David and disturbed. all of there songs have a meaning and they dont shy away from difficult subjects. and they care enough to want to help people who have thoughts of suicide and other mental helth problems.
I just lost my mom to infections caused by her cancer surgery in May this year. I can't stay at peace as I keep remembering her hospital stay and what she went through. I tried everything I could to save her but she couldn't survive and I question myself why she isn't with me anymore. I feel restless every day and remember the worst phone call of my life from my brother at 8pm (that's the time of her death)
I made this video with grief tips as I lost my parents too. I hope it has some useful suggestions for you. We're here to help you honor your mom and process the loss. ruclips.net/video/hSUmrO7AXOM/видео.html
i knew of this song long ago while young, having lost a lover this song took a new meaning. the voices never stop theyre just a little less. i think about it constantly every quiet moment is the softest whisper to give up
Life is frequently no fun, the past couple years have been really hard personally (not covid, personal stuff). But my past actions have caused too much pain for too many others. I can't be the source of more pain to those I still care for, even if they no longer want to have anything to do with me. I must choose to carry on, because hurting them more is not an option.
I was diagnosed with "clinical depression" as a teen. I grew up raised by my grandparents, with my mom constantly in and out of my life due to her drug life (she left me with them b/c she didn't want to raise me in her lifestyle choice). I didn't understand what they meant by "clinical depression". I knew about depression, my mom suffered from it. I often got asked "do you have thoughts of harming or killing yourself". I always answered no. And to this day, now that I understand depression better and understand I battle it daily, I never have those thoughts. My faith, my belief in a Higher Power, has always been my rock, my strength. The idea of ending it purposely, is sad. I cried the first time I heard this song. One of the girls in our boot camp division attempted suicide. She was a bright star, had much going for her, was being looked at as a SEAL candidate. She slipped on the ice and broke her arm (Great Lakes, middle of the winter '03). We got back from lunch one afternoon and had to go to our sister division space - the one that had taken the girl her lunch met our Divo in the doorway explaining the need to call for medical emergency. She'd downed almost the whole bottle of pain killers she'd been prescribed. My other experience with suicide, between 8th and 9th grade (the summer). Someone I and another friend had befriended tried to blow up their home with them and their parents in it. He was abused, but could never prove it (this was the early 90's). There were suicide attempts on the ship (I was in the Navy). But no-one I knew personally. Military and veterans have some of the highest suicide rates, if I understand it correctly. If anyone ever needs an ear, please, look me up. I'm on Twitter, Twitch, TikTok, and IG, all with this same username or one like it. I'll listen. Sometimes, that's what people suffering from depression need the most in their life: someone to just listen to them w/o prejudice, w/o interruption. Please, don't ever think that no one will listen - there is SOMEONE out there that will. And if you are lucky, that someone will actually KNOW what you are feeling, and be able to help you better than anyone else. Those closest to you often don't understand. Especially if they are part of the cause of your feelings. Outreaches are meant just for you, if this is you. Please, reach out, look for us. We're here for you.
Hi Amanda, I discovered you channel because of this reaction and just wanted to say thank you for what you're doing. Especially because one could tell this video was not an easy one for you, but you did it anyway and your comments on it were so on point. Shattering the mental health stigma is so important and it warms my heart to see how people connect on your channel and how you're here for them, too. I subscribed and I'm looking forward to checking out more of your videos :) Regarding music reactions, I think you might enjoy checking out the not (yet) well-known band Forever Still. Their music sounds great and they have quite a few songs that deal with mental health issues, for example "Scars", "Miss Madness" or "Survive".
This song has a special place in my heart. It came out around the same time that I was struggling with my own demon's and had thoughts of ending it all. I wasn't able to reach out and get help till I heard this song and found the strength I didn't know had. Your reaction at the beginning was the same as my own first time watching this video. Keep up the good work.
I want to say that what you're doing is pretty brave and i consider you a real world hero for sharing your story and doing the best you can to help as many people as you can possibly through this platform, so thank you for what you do and please keep on sharing your stories and doing what you do, you are awesome and i really admire you ❤❤❤
I’m sorry Amanda that I can not finish watching your reaction. It happened to me a few years back exactly what happened to the guy early in the music video. I lost someone I loved that way. The images in me head are still haunting me so seeing content like this is a bit to much. I do however love what you are doing and the initial message by disturbed. Keep on doing what you are doing. It’s important. ❤️
Hello Amanda. I really want to thank you for doing what you do. As a Veteran, we have every 22 seconds a Veteran takes their life. I have lost one to many friends to suicide. I am a fan of Disturbed and when this song came out it was rough to listen to. It took me a while to watch and listen to this song. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and if you need to talk about anything, I am hear. I may not understand cause I have never felt what you have felt, but I am a good listener.
I think this is a fantastic song, I know the back story to the song and can understand why they made the video so graphic, it sticks in your mind forever, the first time I saw it I reacted the same way as you, it was a massive kick in the guts and the head. Disturbed have done a massive amount to bring mental health and awareness to the fore, I am a suicide survivor, with several occasions where I was brought back from the otherside. I got the right help eventually but it was a fight for well over 20 years for me and is coming up to 20 years since I last got that low. It will never take me now but is always in my mind somewhere. I always say to anybody you can contact me via messenger and I am there it may take a few hours depending on the time of day. I have had breakdowns more recently but was not going to that place again, it took a lot of help though for which I am grateful. I will never hide again from my past but that is where it is now. Silence is never the answer
i have watched you reacted to other videos especially on this topic it ripped my heart out when you reacted to the beginning of this video i have never seen it effect you so deeply and i just wanted to hug you and tell its going to be ok I'm glad you are ok you are such an inspiration i admire you to have the bravery to continue watching this when it effected you so badly i have had a family friend take their life in this way i myself have been in a dark place and had thoughts of ending it but thanks to beautiful people like you and a good support system i am OK please keep making this subject at the for front people need to know it does get better to many beautiful people are gone now you always say you are always here to talk and help thanks for that and i and your fans are here for you as well
Ur such a strong individual every time u saw her hanging u were shaking but ur so strong and I'm proud of you it's ppl like you that make us weaker stronger in the end
I know how hard it can be my mom committed suicide when I was a junior in high school, and I held myself responsible for years, it's been a long road I'm 47 now, but I just try to keep my head up and keep going. Thanks for sharing, and being here for everyone Amanda.
As the Singer lost a loved one, I too lost my Dear Wife of over 35 years and I hear the call of evil to join her, depression consumes me and your comforting thoughts really help, Thank You...
All your efforts and your obvious passion for good mental health is terrific and much appreciated. I just hope you don't forget abt self care. Particularly since you've been getting a steady muck bang buffet of sad lyrics, tragic images and all the other things that can trigger our dark passenger. I realize there's probably a ton of personal satisfaction and catharsis bonding with your viewers as you go deep into all this great music, the message of the lyrics and how survivors can benefit from your own testimony and using these songs as an outlet for how we feel and a means to share our stories and most importantly feel comfortable with allowing some vulnerability in our interactions. If we can let our guards down even a little bit, then the therapy that comes from a group of broken people enjoying great music together can be unmeasurable. I can't imagine the emotional rollercoaster making this kind of content must be like. You know you're truly helping people so that's great! That's the reason for doing this. Your people help you too, even better. Just don't sacrifice your your still healing soul in the service of others.
My dark passenger takes these as a way to process, then I turn around and play with goats, go listen to monks speak, meditate and dance like a dufus. I strive for balance!
I think one of the most damaging and false beliefs out there is that victims of suicide go to hell. This is ludicrous. What “all loving” and “all knowing” God would damn a person for going through the psychological horrors they have and then took their own life? It’s stupid. This idea was only meant to scare people, but all it does is haunt the loved ones of people that took their lives. There are some religious beliefs that are as hurtful as they are false, and this is one of the worst. Amanda, powerful video. I’ve listened to this song countless times but that’s the first time I’ve seen the video. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
Agreed. We don’t question when someone dies from heart illness or a blood illness. So why with mental illness. Suicide needs to be avoided and people with mental illness need treatment, but those that lose their battles should never be condemned to hell. I refuse to believe that they are.
I have suffered depression as long as I can remember and have lost a couple people to suicide, witnessed one taking there's only about a foot away, which made things worse. But I'm learning everyday and learning what my triggers are, trying to avoid when I can or try and overcome by doing things that'll get me past those points (with help from medication as well). Disturbed's video is hard and watching you react to it was hard as well but glad you made it through it.
I’m pretty sure somewhere on RUclips there’s a video where David gives the full story that inspired this song: who died, how, the events that led up to it, etc. For those who want to know…
iv long since had to change my stance on helping ppl when they are depressed and need someone to help. i used to help anyone i could never wanting to be that person that turns them down when they needed me. but when i was helping someone and they cut themselves as an attempt and emailed me a picture that was really the moment i realized my own depression was leaking into my support. the reason im saying this is because you are helping and taking that pain for others and i cant express how amazing that is to me. stronger than i ever was.
Mental health has plagued my family since I was 14. My cousin the love of my life took her life. My father was a mental health professional. He torchered me and my mom till the day he died. He took and ended so many lives . Mr and my mom suffered for years. I feel for everyone suffering From Mental health issues . Don't let them win. We are human and we feel the pain. Please don't give up, you are important. Even if you don't reach out to me. You matter ❤
Morbid factoid: The original video had David pull the trigger blowing his brains out, that video was scrapped for obvious reasons. then they came out with this video of him in an Asylum at the end. My dad almost took his life because I listed him as a reason of my own attempt. Then when I heard The Unforgiven III, I stopped blaming people for my screw-up. It wasn't worth risking anyone's life.
After this I’d suggest “The light” It’s a more comforting song to come down from the heightened emotion in this song. Not that this song is bad I love it
💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖
And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here:
amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/
how can i send you a personal message? im going through something rough and want someone to talk to
This song brings the memory back of when I tried to end it by hanging myself dicing my arm up to ribbons and taking a bunch of pills only to be found by my nephew
This song was on my mental health Playlist before any reactions came out. It helped me a lot!
@Amanda Webster we've all been there but we are not alone, we have friends to help us through tough times and are always there to prevent us from committing the greatest sin. "Suicide", I should know I use to be suicidal because my stepmom tormented me day in & out for 10 years but one day my best friend since 3rd grade helped me and I'm a whole new person today. it's always good to keep the faith not only in yourself but also in the people that love you.
@@kingvegeta7868 amanda@amandawebsterhealth.com
I've never seen a reactor get this song so completely so quickly. I am amazed by your insight and your strength.
I was thinking the same thing, she picked up on the lyrics and the meaning behind the song pretty quickly.
I was surprised she got it so quickly most people do not get that he is singing as the devil taunting the man who just found her
If memory serves me right, it was his girlfriend at the time that took her life due to a really bad addiction. From my understanding, David said doing this song years later was extremely cathartic and helped him overcome alot of his grief over loosing her.
Hence 1 of many reasons i love their music, so much story behind most of their songs.
As a side note: there's another song by disturbed you should TRY to listen to. Hold on to the memories. I'll warn you now, it'll tear up big time.
I'm 40, ex law enforcement, and I will frigging ugly cry in record time hearing that song. It's so good but dang if it ain't tear jerker and heart string snatcher.
You are right there is a whole story behind it that he explains its heartbreaking I highly recommend looking up do some research about the song and the meaning behind it its powerful.
He also said that he could hear a voice telling him to join her
@@philipharris125 yup. He mentioned that he could swear he heard the devil whispering in his mind to take his own life. Trying to manipulate him.
Her parents also blamed him since in her suicide note she mentions that he refused to get back with her unless she kicked her addiction.
The voice he heard he said was the devil trying to entice him to kill himself so he could be with her again in hell. On that note the song is basically sung from the perspective of the devil.
Side note, he was like 14 (if I remember correctly) and she was in her mid 20s.
I remember a concert I was at they sang this and David started crying after. I can only imagine how cathartic it was for him.
It breaks my heart to see tears in your eyes . The world needs more beautiful souls like you. You have helped me in a lot of ways. Thank you for being there for me and for so many others.
One thing about metal bands is they are not afraid to talk about subjects that are difficult to talk about. They realize the need to bring it up and it's exactly what they do.
and that's their mission on this planet, i guess.
I spent about 4 months bedridden, ended up in the er, and the whole time I was staring at a rifle mounted on my wall. Your videos actually helped. So thanks. I still look at my gun, but not the same way.
I am thankful you are still here to contribute to the world and our community. I’m sorry for your difficulties, but admire your bravery.
I'm sorry that you were ever in that position, but I'm so glad that you're still here and I'm humbled to be even a small part of that 💖 Please reach out if you ever need to talk.
I have been there too except I took mine off the wall and loaded it, then my daughter called.
Look at that gun as a trophy. A battle you won. It was the weapon of an unseen enemy and you took it away from them.
Anytime you feel low, look at it and remember you won. It's kinda similar to what I do.
N.S.D. never stay down
@@craigholt9571 So glad she was there for you and that you are here with us!
I'm a survivor of multiple attempts, I'm now 8 years since my last one. Everyday more is an achievement, because you fight an internal battle, with demons only you know the extent of. If anyone needs help reach out to someone or a helpline. I know it's hard, god do I know, but there are so many things to experience, so many little joys that you've yet to see.
Remember, you are not a burden. You are enough. No one, not even yourself, gets to tell you otherwise.
I have loved Disturbed's work since their early days, but this video is one I cant watch. Seen it once and it brought back too much pain.
I was 21 and my girlfriend's younger sister passed away after a painful battle with bowel cancer. Paula, my girlfriend, and I were with her through it. Paula lived for her sister. She was like a sister to me too. A few days after the funeral I was heading over to Paula's place after work. I'd been spending all my spare time there. I walked in to find her hanging from the roof beam. She was gone and there was nothing I could do.
I was already in a suicidal state, still dealing with a long childhood of abuse. It took me a good 5 years to drag myself out of the numbing from their deaths and start to address it.
Now, a week shy of 42, I'm in a very different space. Suicidal compulsion is no longer a factor for me. I have dealt with and stripped away many defenses and barriers in my head and have been addressing the raw, core problems in my mind. I have love in my life again. I will never stop loving Paula and Kimmy.
But I still cant watch that video
I am so happy for you for overcoming and finding a place of love and healing and I completely understand about the video.
Thanks for sharing your story. Im glad you are r here to tell the tale. I can't imagine what it must ve like living through that. Kudos to yiu. Stay strong.
This is one of the videos that helped to deter me from that finality. During the time that I started to listen to Disturbed, I was in a very dark place and I was hurting myself but then this video made me consider the perspective of those around me (my family)...what was needed to be considered. To see the pain of someone discovering a person they love like that.
You showed how quick you grabbed the message of this song. Your reaction is very heart felt and shows your dedication to preventing and helping them who struggle with those demons. David is huge on that same help. This song portrays what we suffer through when the devil confronts us. I have struggled with them demons many times. Music and counseling has always kept me strong. I added going to concerts to that list. David Draimen says it best at every concert Disturbed does. It's one big group therapy session.
Thank you Amanda.
I've seen many people react to this song, but nobody has picked up on so much accurate information on the songs lyrics so quickly. You're past struggles aid that ability I'm sure. Thank you for being vulnerable to help others through their difficult times. I know it's not in vain.
Look so overreaction
I would love to see you react to Five Finger Death Punch: "Coming Down". The song has gotten me through a lot of rough times. Also I'm sorry for your loss. I know saying that doesn't really change anything, personally I hate hearing it. IMO "I'm sorry for your loss" or "My condolences" are just what you are supposed to say. FOR ME I what I need is just someone to be there, someone who gets it. The feeling of not being alone is more powerful than any words someone can say. This past Monday (2/7/2022) was the three year anniversary of my cousin not waking up from his coma. Between a few of my friends being there to hang out so I wasn't isolating and putting on a few songs I was able to make it through.
R.I.P. Anthony M. 3/13/1991-02/07/2019
I’m glad your light didn’t go out. We need angels like you to spread a positive and encouraging message, that we are never alone. We are interconnected. 🖤🙏🏻
Candle's are very fragile things when lit, but it only takes one candle to light up the darkness,......Your darkness x
It was about one of David's ex girlfriend who committed suicide. I'm not sure how she done it but judging by the video, she hung herself. "Devon, no longer living. She's just another soul never to be mine again". It's about the guilt of loosing someone and having the feeling that you could have saved them. The story to this song is really deep man.
She overdosed in real life and her name is not Devon they just chose that for the song
@@isaiahwiita4474 thanks. It's a really lyrical heavy song man.
@@slap_A_flamingoyeah and I guess they chose the name Devon because it rhyms with heaven.
she slit her wrists, i assume they chose to show her hanging herself so as to not trigger something with david.
@@RagingInsomniac are you sure because I haven't heard it like that from what I've seen it was overdose
Seeing you react that way actually brought tears to my eyes... I'm not a religious person myself but I do have to say this... The devils that plauge our minds hold no power to our unwavering will and iron clad strength. They will give. We won't. You're not alone in this fight. Ready your arms and face the foe head on with no mercy.
I first heard this song when playing Madden ‘09 but I never really listened to the lyrics. Just kind of rocked out with it before playing a video game…
Now, after reading more about David Draiman, his life story, and realizing how talented the man is, this song just hits completely differently than it did when I was in my mid 20’s.
Speak up if you need help, don’t be silent and don’t go quietly into the night. There is at least one person you know who will be your light in a time of darkness.
God bless you all.
You can see your primal fight or flight mechanism quickly. Glad you posted this. Probably hardest song and video you have done. Help spread awareness. You are a blessing for those of us who have been there
Hi Amanda, you posted this video some time ago now, so I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I wanted to thank you for being real and raw with your emotions in this and other videos. I feel like too often people worry about showing negative emotions because they’re worried about the effect it’ll have on other people, but I always appreciate it when people allow themselves to be vulnerable.
I just stumbled onto your channel, and I've got to say, as a suicide survivor, with history of PTSD and MDD (major depressive disorder) myself this song helped me through some hard times, mainly by allowing me to channel my anger into motivation to get out and say "I won't let this bring me down, I AM stronger". Stay strong everyone reading this, don't be mad at yourself for your past, be mad at the demons and CRUSH THEM DOWN.
your reactions and words to this song were so powerful, i fight the demon of depression every day, it breaks me down and drains every ounce of energy i have to fight and keep myself from going down that path every single day, and therapy nor medicines help at all. im left to fight this hell of an illness alone, but your reaction to this song reminded me that im not alone in this fight, i have friends and allies that can help pull me out of it. thank you for the reminders amanda, and im glad i found you and your channel.
Talk about watching you have a PTSD moment gave Me a PTSD moment. I have tried to watch that video before but was unable to do so. Seeing your courage and strength helped me to finish your video and hear your insight. Thank you for being a voice. You are such a brave person
I know 2 people that committed suicide, both brothers. It is so very sad. They were in their late 20's and they come from a great family and a close family. One of them got very depressed because the mother of his child was dating someone. An alcohol fueled evening and a handgun was all it took from there. All lost life is sad, but it is super sad when someone thinks there is nothing to live for when they are surrounded by people that love them. To our lost loved ones......... RIP
I had a friend who was transgender and we played online on a game together nearly every day. We became very good friends. We played the same game constantly for years. I was informed about 5 years ago that they took their own life. It still bothers me to this day and I think one of the things this highlights is that if you think you harming yourself will make it easier for those you leave behind you are wrong. They never really get over it. They learn to live with it or they don't. You are loved, even if you think you aren't, you are. There is someone in your life who loves you. Remember that and get help. You getting help will mean so much to you and them. They just want to see you happy.
I miss you and wish you lived long enough to see me make my dreams come true. It's not the same without you here.
A friend of mine, when we were around 24-25 years old. He had a lil baby with his girlfriend. One evening his girlfriend went for an evening walk, and he stayed home to put the baby in the grib for a sleep and feed the baby etc. Later when his girlfriend came back home, he found my friend hanging in the bedroom next to the grib where the baby was calmly sleeping. He hung himself between their bed and the baby's bed... 25 year old guy, he had a good job, no drug or alcohol abuse, newborn baby and a great girlfriend by his side...
So tragic 💔
I see many overreactions when watching gameplays and other reactors, but damn, this has to be one of the most genuine because of your experiences through life
Hands up to your will power
wow, that was powerful and you're so strong to watch that and comment on it after going through what you did. While I can't say I understand what you all are going through I can say I know for a fact you're an inspiration and you are helping people. That is an amazing thing.
Talking really is the solution. i went through some rough times recently, and while I didn't try to actively kill myself, i just stopped caring about myself, just did some things a normal human would be very scared of, because of an inherent risk of dying. Thankfully some people in my school (yes, I'm only 18 and a very average student otherwise) noticed I was acting different than ever before (yes, I already went through a crisis before) and asked me what was up. I decided it couldn't get any worse and just opened up, told everything. Instead of being scared or alienated, they talked me through it, now I am on a good way out of this dark hole. Not quite out of it yet, but I can tell tell you, if you think life has nothing left for you anyway, there is no reason to erect walls around you, just talk to everyone who has an ear for you. If you could end it any day anyway, there is no need to hold back, just talk.
Edit: hope this doesn't sound too harsh, I'm still dealing with it myself, and my way of doing so is pretty cynical humour at times, but I'm trying to tell how I found the direction to the exit
I lost two people I loved near the same time. One to suicide, the other to murder. I felt responsible for both.. blamed myself for both because both times I wasn't there to help them when they needed it most.
I tortured myself.. physically, emotionally. I still have scars on my hand from the time I shattered my reflection in the mirror. I would hurt myself until I physically couldn't anymore... I attempted suicide 5 separate times. Each time, I was lucky enough to either fail my attempt or lucky enough that someone intervened at just the right time.
My mother saved my life, and to this day, she didn't even realize she did... I never had the heart to tell her afterward
That was 5 years ago.
3 years ago, while I wasn't suicidal anymore and was actively trying to keep SH to a minimum, I still found myself afraid or unwilling to live. Merely to exist.
2 years ago, I finally found people who care about me. A second family, people who listened, who understood, who helped me recover.
1 year ago. I started taking back control of my life and my emotions, with plenty of help from my friends and my therapist. I wasn't 100% how I felt I should be, but it was better than staying locked inside that hell.
6 months ago, I celebrated. I celebrated because for the first time in my life, I felt happy. Not a manic high, not a fleeting feeling of joy, but consistently happy. I kept track of it months before, and it noticed it stayed with me even being off medication for a few years.
Today, that feeling hasn't gone away. I'm a year and a half sober. And I live now with one goal in mind. Make as many good memories as I can, while I can. I'm still acutely aware of my own mortality and know just how easily life can be taken away.
I'm only here because I got lucky several times. But I know all it takes is getting unlucky once, and it's all over.
I am so very proud of you and happy for you!
Do Disturbed's "Hold On To Memories" to pay tribute to all those that have lost people they loved. Whether from suicide, addiction, or otherwise. It's a beautiful song.
Great great song, only thing that got me over my grandfather's death. Would listen to the song and think about all the great memories.
Thank you for reacting to this song!!
Back in 2004, when I was 12, I was bullied very very badly by this one boy. It got to the point where I asked my mom "What would happen if I just go die?" I went to counseling in the school for several months, and they tried to council him too, but his thoughts remained unchanged.
Even though he was such a trashcan to me, I hope he eventually became a better person.
I signed a contract with my counselor that I promise to never take my life. I still have the contract folded up in my jewelry box to this day.
It shows that you have made immense strides in healing that you can wish him well like that. Keep that contract. Keep fighting. I'm proud of you!
I'm not one who has dealt with suicidal depression but for what I can do is to support and guide people who are into to live a good life. Im prepared to fight for happiness for them if need be. I appreciate your encouragung words and I say thank you.
I've seen this video before, and the beginning rattled me. After seeing that Amanda would react to this video, I couldn't help but find out how she would react to the beginning, and I don't think I've felt a stronger urge to comfort a stranger outside of an actual tragedy. I'm reminded of the quote "Suicide doesn't remove your pain; it just moves it to the people who love you the most."
I'm owner of a vast collection of mental problems myself. Actually I stood on the window sill when I was eight years old. Standing there no one was holding me back, no intervention of a God, my mother told me he' ll be there to protect me. And I recognized there IS no god, so there can't be a paradise, no better or worse life after death, that I only have this ONE life.
I entered my room and started fighting.
My life is a chain of mishaps and being happy means for me that the next desaster doesn't occur too soon. There are no expectations this will change, and sometimes I hope to die by accident soon, but I haven't and won't try to commit suicide again.
I'm 53.
Thank you for sharing your story. Life is suffering. That is what Buddhists believe. But it's the overcoming of it, the living with it and the finding beauty/meaning in it that make life worth it.
Currently in the weeds with my fiance, shes having a rough time. All the communities i can reach, this one included are really helpful. Just wanted to say thankyou, to you and this supremely positive community x
I as a current suicide survivor this song is the reason I’m still alive hearing this song helped me get threw all the ptsd and depression I deal with in my daily life I’m great til for discovering disturbed and their music❤❤
Dave spills
His
Heart out here
I haven’t even gotten through your entire reaction and I just want to hold you and brace you while watching this. You are safe…. I respect you and your ability to watch this.
And how quickly you recognized the meaning. Many people think David/Disturbed is telling people to unalive themselves, when it is really the devil.
I felt your emotion! Omg! The end of this video took me surprise when I first saw it because it’s how my niece died. Also knowing this is biographical for David makes it such a personally emotional video.
One of my highschool friends blew his brains out with a shotgun. Only a few miles away from me. My father's friend had to discover him. Only a few months later his own son killed himself in the same fashion. I live with the felling of him and my friend every day. It never gets easy, but the memory keeps me going. Through anything. Rest in peace Nick. You were my friend.
I hope that they found peace and that you continue to find strength. If you ever need to share memories of them so we can help keep them alive too, feel free
To anyone watching watching this and struggling with life. I have a quote for you. A quote that is very true. From Rocky. It may not be an exact quote but here it is. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. There aint no one or nothing that's gonna hit harder than life, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there if you let it. But it's not about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Anyway I hope that helped in someway. Keep your head up and stay strong. God bless to all of you ❤
I remember that scene.. a variation of it I always heard was " it don't matter if your hit once or 100 times. Just make sure you get up 2 times or 101".
Glad to c u enjoyed the video ur a strong individual n u keep goin everyday that's wat matters
Forgive me for finding this so late. Amanda, the sheer depth of strength you have shown in this reaction video is beyond description. I have never experienced such a power of conviction than in your determination to demonstrate that there is no I, there is no you, there is only us in battling depression & addiction because only by banding together can people overcome the demons. Thank you for being the inspiration so many people need to accept that it's ok to not be ok & there is no shame or weakness in asking for help.
Struggling tonight. Was cool to come across this with you. I been watching a few videos tonight and.... kind of a good thing that I stumbled on... not just the song... but your reaction to it. You are doing good things.
Welcome to the community. You're never alone now because we've got your back!
Hey Amanda. Such a wonderful reaction video. What you said about a diseased mind not damning a soul was so beautiful and moving, I've never heard anyone put it quite like that before. I admire your strength for being able to do what you do, and I know you are helping people by doing it. An absolutely amazing song I hope you can react to is Emma by a band called Hot Chocolate. The song is from 1974. If you can find the video with the band performing, you can see the raw emotion in the singers face and hear it in his voice, like he is reliving the moment. It is a truly heartbreaking and beautiful song.
I recommend a song to you that was also written by Disturbed it's called a reason to fight. It's about fighting addiction and depression
ruclips.net/video/1FB3SvMz6dQ/видео.html
I'm a survivor myself. Specifically an attempted hanging. Thankfully my makeshift device failed and I woke up on the floor. This experience convinced me to confront my issues and I've learned to live with it. I understand now that I will always have these thoughts and feelings but they aren't actually my thoughts or feelings but simply the symptoms of an illness. That point of view has helped me tremendously and maybe someone else out there can make it work for them too
I am SO happy you're still here with us and finding the healing you deserve!
@@MentalAmanda likewise and thank you
Disturbed fan but 1st time with this song. I had lost a lot of loved ones the cancer and put my life on hold too help raise my granddaughters when they're dad passed. My daughters new fiance moved them 4000 miles away and I got really close to a young lady I'd known since she was 17 we became best friends and were each others support system. A couple months ago she hung herself without warning and I've been struggling ever since. Thinking i want to see her and my other loved ones that's went ahead. It's a struggle every night! But yes suicide isn't unpardonable bladhpheming the Holy Spirit is. 1 day at a time!
Thank u for wanting to help others out. It's amazing how far u have come and how u have made yourself a whole lot better. Again thank u so much. 💓
I just discovered your channel, and I'm loving it.
Your analysis of some of the songs are very interesting. And the truth is that it is difficult for me to keep my composure when I see that some of the songs hit you especially hard. I have been living with depression for more than 10 years, when my mother passed away, and more than once I wanted to end it all. I hit rock bottom 3 years ago when I found out that one of my best friends, almost a brother to me, was an abuser. It completely destroyed me, but I found the strength, I don't know where, and started therapy. Today, after 2 years of treatment with medication I am much better. Sometimes some cloud appears, but I try to keep my head busy so I don't think about it.
I would like to recommend two songs to you:
"Viernes 3 A.M." (Friday 3. A.M.), by a band from my country (Argentina) called Seru Giran, which was one of the most important bands of Argentine rock. It talks about suicide, but in an extremely poetic way.
The other song is "Quedándote o Yéndote" (the translation would be something like "to stay or to go"). It is by Luis Alberto Spinetta, considered the Father of Argentine Rock. And it has beautiful lyrics about... well, not giving up and going on.
The only problem is that they are in Spanish, so if you don't know the language, you might have to find a translated lyric, and I don't know if there is one. I hope you can give them a listen.
Best wishes.
Back again lol, I always find myself coming back to your videos because of how your reactions are so genuine. I'm an HSP and you are so expressive with your emotions that I find myself feeling the exact same way you do, gut punches, shaking, and all. Just wanted to comment again and let you know that I really appreciate the genuineness and vulnerability you bring to a platform thats all too often fake.
In all honesty I do worry about how you handle unexpected things like what you saw at the beginning, it seemed like it really hit you hard (and being an HSP I absorb the shock of your reaction to it every time). Do scenes like that at the beginning stay with you for days or how do you handle it?
I took time after the video to ground myself and process the content. I've been working through certain triggers like this as well, largely through controlled exposure therapy, and have made a lot of progress!
I have been there too... I believe what David is portraying here... is truly needed for healing
This song is somewhat autobiographical when he was around 15 or 16 he was dating a girl they were madly in love but she had an addiction problem I am not sure if they were still together or if they had just broken up. She ended up killing herself I am not sure if like in the video he found her body or not. But after her death he was devastated by it and much of the songs lyrics are what he thought and experienced. These dark thoughts and a voice that kept trying to encourage him to act on them. He says writing this song was deeply cathartic for him. That even after so many years it was still weighing on him and this song finally let him get it out. So yeah is is very personal to him.
Hard time listening to this. Lost wife to breast cancer. Assisted legal suicide. Terminal breast cancer. She suffered a LOT. 9 yrs ago. I’ve heard this voice many times. Join her. Join her join her. If it wasn’t for our son I’d probably had ended my life years ago. Almost did last year after losing my job of 20 years and terrified of not working again. but her last words saved me. Told me to live for our boy and not to cry over her for rest of my life and find love again. But I found work right as I was in my darkest place giving long looks to my 9mm. I’m in a better place now with a job I totally love. Life’s a struggle but it’s one that’s bearable now.
I'm so happy that you're still here with us. You get to find ways to love life again, honor your wife and love your boy, but you're also showing people that there IS another side to the pain. That we can find joy and healing even when our Shadow tries to convince us otherwise.
I needed to hear your message. Thank you ❤️
Disturbed, especially David, have a perfect method of showing the emotions associated with this subject. The sadness, the extreme anger, and even the lack of emotions from shutting down. It's all related.
Amanda, after watching a heap of your vids, i finally stumbled upon this one.. and all I can say is, I'm glad you reacted this one, and got through it. Sharing with others is what it's all about. So.. Thank you.
I call on patrons and subscribers to request 1 of 9 spectacular songs for Amanda to react to. All are perfect for her channel. Pink - Perfect (the clean version), Death Angel - Lost, Death Angel - Veil of Deception, Guano Apes - Open your eyes, Five for Fighting - World, Collective Soul - The World I Know, Alter Bridge - Blackbird, Tremonti - Marching in Time, Shinedown - Monsters. All offer a lot to discuss. Thanks
You’re a very brave young woman to do all you do for mental health awareness, and tackling this song was obviously very difficult for you, so thank you. I am one of the fortunate few who have never had suicide or severe mental illness come into my own little world bubble, and this song/video are still like a kick in the gut for me. Honestly, Disturbed’s music has such a capacity to make a person feel something even if they don’t have a direct connection themselves that it almost injects you with how such things truly feel. This is in no way intended to elevate my own experiences or diminish those of others, but I honestly feel like they’ve made me more empathetic towards these situations, and helped me to be a better person because of it.
Amanda...this video is so in your face...and so was your reaction. I have watched this more than a few times and every time I am speechless and affected for a bit. You have found your calling. A ground angel you are. The problem with Darkness...it runs deep, has no bottom, and is a dangerous vacuum to exist in. I had no idea there were so many different shades of black. It becomes it's own entity. Thank you for shining a powerful light down into that chasm. There are many paths that will deliver us unsuspecting to that edge...grief is no joke. I do not know you but I certainly can see and feel your Light. You truly are a lighthouse in the storm. Thank you.
I happened to find you, this video, and others while in the midst of a depressive episode. I had seen this over a decade ago and i had forgotten the video. I am receiving help, and am in treatment. You are now going to be on my youtube daily. Thank you for all you do.
This one hits super close to me, it's their hardest song to listen to by far. When someone close to you takes their own life there's an incredibly strong temptation to join them, it takes a great deal of strength to avoid doing so; that's a big part of why I respect David so much, he's an intelligent and strong man who rose above his trauma so he could live a great life and make a difference in the world!
Hey guys i have never seen this video before and only in passing heard it was a rough song, not really looking into it, i checked this one out. I struggled horribly for a loooonnngggg time with thoughts of the infinite end, i am here to tell all of you it does get better. Ive crossed the road to the other side. Im safe. Im happy. Im glad i stuck it out. You will be too. Its just a speed bump, just stick around, its not so bad. I fought hard for my safety, its not easy and its not over night.
Having been the one to recommend this one, it ripped my heart out to see Amanda’s reaction. I just hope it reaches those that need it. I will forever be grateful if Amanda’s bravery and strength to share this with us.
Did you not forewarn her about the content? Like the hanging or David, vocalist, covered in blood. I knew what her reaction would be and I haven’t be one of her youtube subs very long.
@@GreathSentina I asked and she did not want to know anything about the song. I would have given her a heads up. She wants her reactions to be honest and live. Nothing with her is scripted or planned. It is brave and also why she is so genuine.
@@davidgaps6589 oh okay. A graphic content would’ve sufficed. And left it to her to imagination to thing of what it means.
@@GreathSentina I told her it was a heavy piece. I changed my mind on and off about her doing it, for obvious reasons.
@@GreathSentina I do fully accept that I started it.
You are a shining light in a dark dark world. Thank you for being a voice in the dark
Sorry I'm late to this video. But i wanted to say that your noticeably visceral reaction to the "intro" of the video speaks volumes. Thank you for sharing this with us.
You should react to "The Light" by Disturbed. Amazing song. No spoilers but i feel as though you'd like it.
And again.
Thank you
The visceral reaction at the beginning was haunting. Id say Disturbed have been great mental health advocates these recent years... Songs about suicide, abuse, drugs/alcoholism Are quite powerful
Wow your reaction to this one is so genuine as you have experience both sides of the meaning behind this song and its heartbreaking to see but also good for self healing 🥰🥰🥰
That feeling right there..2:40 you think you are past it, you think you are stronger, you think it's of the past, then wham something triggers (to use a devaluated word) just to show how frail the defense and how close you still are. Just shows how important it is to keep on maintaining that mental health many take for granted. The work is never over, you are never done, you can never give up on YOU... P.s By you I don't mean you particularly... eh. you get it.
First I want to say I love your channel and your openness about mental health.
Not trying to trauma dump or anything I just want to share my experience with this song. Please disregard if it's too much to share.
I've been a Disturbed fan for a long time. I used to listen to them all through high school and when this song came out, I understood the content but not the depth of it. It released in 2008 and I enjoyed it for a few years, but then my real understanding of it changed in 2011 with my first real bout with depression. Wednesday, February 23rd 2011, I lost one of my closest friends to suicide. The last year of his life we weren't super close, we didn't talk much, but I had known him from before kindergarten through my senior year when he passed. We grew up together. Played basketball, baseball, football together. I knew his family well and he knew mine. First time I played a PS2 was on his we stayed up all night playing Ratchet and Clank.
The point is after he passed it didn't really hit me until at his funeral, seeing him in a casket and facing his mother trying to hold it together, as she told me how much he loved me. That summer I had my first bout with depression and had no idea what was going on. I was alone, parents are divorced, mom was at work during the day, so I was alone with myself and my thoughts. When I heard this song again, the real meaning of it had completely changed. For the first time I recognized the voice of the phantom David was portraying, egging you on, letting you know there's another way to escape the suffering. I did not recognize I was having anxiety or panic attacks for at least 4 years after that.
Fast forward to today, it's still a struggle. And while I accept my friend's death and have moved forward, I've never really healed. I don't know if I can. At some point, the pain I felt from his passing turned into a self-loathing. The kid I once was that was driven to be exceptional at everything he put his hands on gained 150 lbs and can't focus on anything for more than 5 minutes to really learn a new hobby. But it's not all bad. I've learned those voices of doubt and self harm aren't really me. They may sound like me, but now I can recognize when my shadow is brandishing it's ugly face. My anxiety has all but disappeared with learning about Dr. K's healthygamergg channel and studying his methods of past vs present thinking. I'm still alone, but I've accomplished so much despite being held down by the physical and metaphorical weight. I still look forward to the day when I don't feel like I need to suffer just to get through the day, but the fact that I'm still looking forward is something.
Sorry this is a long post. Once I got to writing I just wanted to tell someone, even if nobody actually reads it. If you've gotten this far, thanks for listening.
You can never share too much here. Thank you for opening up. It can be so hard to lose a friend, but particularly when we feel they chose to leave. As someone who nearly lost that battle herself, I can assure you that he didn't CHOSE to leave. He just didn't have the strength to stay. I understand self-loathing and self-blame as well as the best of them, but I also know that the best way we can honor their memory is by living the life they didn't have the opportunity to live. I used to cry every single morning because I dreaded the day. I promise that there's another side to that if you keep trying and keep healing. You're doing great 💖
Thank you for saying "I'm Okay," when you did. That instant response scared me straight into protector mose and I needed to hear that.
I've had my own bouts and have lost a few close, dear, & talented friends of mine all from high school. Today, I play guitar in an undisclosed band and do other hobbies. I still feel the pain at times'. Especially after I lost my parents. My guitar & music are my main "outlet", keeps me grounded. I send huge hugs to you Amanda!❤
Certainly a shocking video and song that probability hits home for some. It certainly is one that has plenty for Amanda to discuss. Thanks for the request David. Other songs I that will give plenty for Amanda to discuss are listed in a separate comment. Many are positive and uplifting to help you for those suffering from depression.
this song is great and it hits hard. i have a lot of respect for David and disturbed. all of there songs have a meaning and they dont shy away from difficult subjects. and they care enough to want to help people who have thoughts of suicide and other mental helth problems.
I just lost my mom to infections caused by her cancer surgery in May this year. I can't stay at peace as I keep remembering her hospital stay and what she went through. I tried everything I could to save her but she couldn't survive and I question myself why she isn't with me anymore.
I feel restless every day and remember the worst phone call of my life from my brother at 8pm (that's the time of her death)
I made this video with grief tips as I lost my parents too. I hope it has some useful suggestions for you. We're here to help you honor your mom and process the loss.
ruclips.net/video/hSUmrO7AXOM/видео.html
i knew of this song long ago while young, having lost a lover this song took a new meaning. the voices never stop theyre just a little less. i think about it constantly every quiet moment is the softest whisper to give up
Life is frequently no fun, the past couple years have been really hard personally (not covid, personal stuff). But my past actions have caused too much pain for too many others. I can't be the source of more pain to those I still care for, even if they no longer want to have anything to do with me. I must choose to carry on, because hurting them more is not an option.
Metal music is def my escape. Not many people understand that and judge too quickly
I was diagnosed with "clinical depression" as a teen. I grew up raised by my grandparents, with my mom constantly in and out of my life due to her drug life (she left me with them b/c she didn't want to raise me in her lifestyle choice). I didn't understand what they meant by "clinical depression". I knew about depression, my mom suffered from it. I often got asked "do you have thoughts of harming or killing yourself". I always answered no. And to this day, now that I understand depression better and understand I battle it daily, I never have those thoughts. My faith, my belief in a Higher Power, has always been my rock, my strength. The idea of ending it purposely, is sad. I cried the first time I heard this song. One of the girls in our boot camp division attempted suicide. She was a bright star, had much going for her, was being looked at as a SEAL candidate. She slipped on the ice and broke her arm (Great Lakes, middle of the winter '03). We got back from lunch one afternoon and had to go to our sister division space - the one that had taken the girl her lunch met our Divo in the doorway explaining the need to call for medical emergency. She'd downed almost the whole bottle of pain killers she'd been prescribed. My other experience with suicide, between 8th and 9th grade (the summer). Someone I and another friend had befriended tried to blow up their home with them and their parents in it. He was abused, but could never prove it (this was the early 90's). There were suicide attempts on the ship (I was in the Navy). But no-one I knew personally. Military and veterans have some of the highest suicide rates, if I understand it correctly.
If anyone ever needs an ear, please, look me up. I'm on Twitter, Twitch, TikTok, and IG, all with this same username or one like it. I'll listen. Sometimes, that's what people suffering from depression need the most in their life: someone to just listen to them w/o prejudice, w/o interruption. Please, don't ever think that no one will listen - there is SOMEONE out there that will. And if you are lucky, that someone will actually KNOW what you are feeling, and be able to help you better than anyone else. Those closest to you often don't understand. Especially if they are part of the cause of your feelings. Outreaches are meant just for you, if this is you. Please, reach out, look for us. We're here for you.
Love seeing the reactions of different people
Hi Amanda, I discovered you channel because of this reaction and just wanted to say thank you for what you're doing. Especially because one could tell this video was not an easy one for you, but you did it anyway and your comments on it were so on point. Shattering the mental health stigma is so important and it warms my heart to see how people connect on your channel and how you're here for them, too. I subscribed and I'm looking forward to checking out more of your videos :)
Regarding music reactions, I think you might enjoy checking out the not (yet) well-known band Forever Still. Their music sounds great and they have quite a few songs that deal with mental health issues, for example "Scars", "Miss Madness" or "Survive".
This song has a special place in my heart. It came out around the same time that I was struggling with my own demon's and had thoughts of ending it all. I wasn't able to reach out and get help till I heard this song and found the strength I didn't know had. Your reaction at the beginning was the same as my own first time watching this video. Keep up the good work.
I want to say that what you're doing is pretty brave and i consider you a real world hero for sharing your story and doing the best you can to help as many people as you can possibly through this platform, so thank you for what you do and please keep on sharing your stories and doing what you do, you are awesome and i really admire you ❤❤❤
I’m sorry Amanda that I can not finish watching your reaction. It happened to me a few years back exactly what happened to the guy early in the music video. I lost someone I loved that way. The images in me head are still haunting me so seeing content like this is a bit to much. I do however love what you are doing and the initial message by disturbed. Keep on doing what you are doing. It’s important. ❤️
That intro sent chills down my spine. I listen to this song all the time. I guess I never watched the video. That shit was bananas! I wasn't ready.
Hello Amanda. I really want to thank you for doing what you do. As a Veteran, we have every 22 seconds a Veteran takes their life. I have lost one to many friends to suicide. I am a fan of Disturbed and when this song came out it was rough to listen to. It took me a while to watch and listen to this song. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and if you need to talk about anything, I am hear. I may not understand cause I have never felt what you have felt, but I am a good listener.
Thank you for your sacrifice and for offering your support. I hope to be part of lowering that number as it's heartbreaking 💔
@@MentalAmanda thank you for you support.
I think this is a fantastic song, I know the back story to the song and can understand why they made the video so graphic, it sticks in your mind forever, the first time I saw it I reacted the same way as you, it was a massive kick in the guts and the head.
Disturbed have done a massive amount to bring mental health and awareness to the fore, I am a suicide survivor, with several occasions where I was brought back from the otherside. I got the right help eventually but it was a fight for well over 20 years for me and is coming up to 20 years since I last got that low. It will never take me now but is always in my mind somewhere. I always say to anybody you can contact me via messenger and I am there it may take a few hours depending on the time of day. I have had breakdowns more recently but was not going to that place again, it took a lot of help though for which I am grateful. I will never hide again from my past but that is where it is now. Silence is never the answer
i have watched you reacted to other videos especially on this topic it ripped my heart out when you reacted to the beginning of this video i have never seen it effect you so deeply and i just wanted to hug you and tell its going to be ok I'm glad you are ok you are such an inspiration i admire you to have the bravery to continue watching this when it effected you so badly i have had a family friend take their life in this way i myself have been in a dark place and had thoughts of ending it but thanks to beautiful people like you and a good support system i am OK please keep making this subject at the for front people need to know it does get better to many beautiful people are gone now you always say you are always here to talk and help thanks for that and i and your fans are here for you as well
Ur such a strong individual every time u saw her hanging u were shaking but ur so strong and I'm proud of you it's ppl like you that make us weaker stronger in the end
What an awesome advocate, a voice for the voiceless. Amanda is like rain to a desert x
I know how hard it can be my mom committed suicide when I was a junior in high school, and I held myself responsible for years, it's been a long road I'm 47 now, but I just try to keep my head up and keep going. Thanks for sharing, and being here for everyone Amanda.
So glad you've found the strength to keep fighting and the insight that it wasn't your fault 💖
As the Singer lost a loved one, I too lost my Dear Wife of over 35 years and I hear the call of evil to join her, depression consumes me and your comforting thoughts really help, Thank You...
All your efforts and your obvious passion for good mental health is terrific and much appreciated. I just hope you don't forget abt self care. Particularly since you've been getting a steady muck bang buffet of sad lyrics, tragic images and all the other things that can trigger our dark passenger. I realize there's probably a ton of personal satisfaction and catharsis bonding with your viewers as you go deep into all this great music, the message of the lyrics and how survivors can benefit from your own testimony and using these songs as an outlet for how we feel and a means to share our stories and most importantly feel comfortable with allowing some vulnerability in our interactions. If we can let our guards down even a little bit, then the therapy that comes from a group of broken people enjoying great music together can be unmeasurable. I can't imagine the emotional rollercoaster making this kind of content must be like. You know you're truly helping people so that's great! That's the reason for doing this. Your people help you too, even better.
Just don't sacrifice your your still healing soul in the service of others.
My dark passenger takes these as a way to process, then I turn around and play with goats, go listen to monks speak, meditate and dance like a dufus. I strive for balance!
I think one of the most damaging and false beliefs out there is that victims of suicide go to hell. This is ludicrous. What “all loving” and “all knowing” God would damn a person for going through the psychological horrors they have and then took their own life? It’s stupid. This idea was only meant to scare people, but all it does is haunt the loved ones of people that took their lives. There are some religious beliefs that are as hurtful as they are false, and this is one of the worst.
Amanda, powerful video. I’ve listened to this song countless times but that’s the first time I’ve seen the video. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
Agreed. We don’t question when someone dies from heart illness or a blood illness. So why with mental illness. Suicide needs to be avoided and people with mental illness need treatment, but those that lose their battles should never be condemned to hell. I refuse to believe that they are.
I have suffered depression as long as I can remember and have lost a couple people to suicide, witnessed one taking there's only about a foot away, which made things worse. But I'm learning everyday and learning what my triggers are, trying to avoid when I can or try and overcome by doing things that'll get me past those points (with help from medication as well). Disturbed's video is hard and watching you react to it was hard as well but glad you made it through it.
I’m pretty sure somewhere on RUclips there’s a video where David gives the full story that inspired this song: who died, how, the events that led up to it, etc. For those who want to know…
iv long since had to change my stance on helping ppl when they are depressed and need someone to help. i used to help anyone i could never wanting to be that person that turns them down when they needed me. but when i was helping someone and they cut themselves as an attempt and emailed me a picture that was really the moment i realized my own depression was leaking into my support. the reason im saying this is because you are helping and taking that pain for others and i cant express how amazing that is to me. stronger than i ever was.
I am EXTREMELY self aware of compassion fatigue. I take breaks as needed and make sure to take care of myself on a daily basis.
I'm not sure of the meaning of the angel wings on her shirt in the video, but that can't of been a coincidence.
Mental health has plagued my family since I was 14. My cousin the love of my life took her life. My father was a mental health professional. He torchered me and my mom till the day he died. He took and ended so many lives . Mr and my mom suffered for years. I feel for everyone suffering From Mental health issues . Don't let them win. We are human and we feel the pain. Please don't give up, you are important. Even if you don't reach out to me. You matter ❤
I'm sorry that that endured so much pain. I hope you know now how worthy of love you are. You're important too!
@@MentalAmanda thank you I will survive. Thanks for letting me vent. I don't open to Many people Bless you❤🇨🇦
Morbid factoid: The original video had David pull the trigger blowing his brains out, that video was scrapped for obvious reasons. then they came out with this video of him in an Asylum at the end. My dad almost took his life because I listed him as a reason of my own attempt. Then when I heard The Unforgiven III, I stopped blaming people for my screw-up. It wasn't worth risking anyone's life.
After this I’d suggest “The light” It’s a more comforting song to come down from the heightened emotion in this song. Not that this song is bad I love it