@@meganguedel then say it. It takes absolutely no effort to say I'm sorry this is important give me a second, don't leave the person talking mid sentence, it's rude and unjustified
if she talked to her directly, all those problems would be solved instantly. and no, Quinta is very nice thank you very much! She just doesn't take hints that easily.
I hate it when I’m saying a story in front of my friends and then all of sudden another friend starts to say something and they just put their attention on them
Some people are just not that direct, you know. That’s not instantly passive agressive. Sometimes introverts have no other way but being passive agressive. We should really avoid it though but sometimes there’s no other way lol
@Knarf Nil A good and responsible friend would've broken into her home, slaughtered her entire family and use their blood to write the message: "Ya can give me the money anytime this month, I don't mind".
shout out to toxic parents instilling their toxic behaviours into us that we now have to dismantle in years of therapy like passive aggressiveness lmao
Being passive aggressive is a form of being a people pleaser (which comes out of insecurity). You don't ever say what you want or think because you don't want to upset anybody but at the same time you don't want to sacrifice your own wants and needs too much which makes you passive aggressive which is a hundred times more aggravating than telling people how you feel/what you want, even if it could potentially upset the people around you.
True. The worst part is that passive aggressive people often take pride in their ability to be passive aggressive, which is really just another way of saying that you have pride in being a doormat that is afraid of confrontation.
You get a lot of flack but I appreciate you. You don't even let the haters phase you. You're literally doing nothing to them. Keep commenting, girl and do you.
What's even worse is when there's two of you: Friend 1: What do you want to eat? Friend 2: Whatever you do. Friend 1: I'll do whatever you do. Friend 2: No, I insist, what do you want to eat? Friend 1: I don't care, what about you? ... Happens too often.
***** That's why you ask, "What do you *not* wanna eat?" and then go to any place which doesn't have what he/she listed. Because most of the time, people know what they don't want before what they do
I'm passive agressive AND sarcastic so people have just come to accept it as "yeah, that's how Ale does humor" and I'm like "No, I'm being fuckin serious, I'm just not straightfoward"
Yeah so am I!! Finally someone like me!! Only difference is people accept you but they think you're being funny, when you're serious. No one accepts me at all. I either get sympathy I never asked for which turns my brain to think I do and I SHOULD feel sad when I'm not, or I just get yelled at. And not even by my parents!
CJ Arteaga You find people who will get it. My parents never really got how I work and used to tell me not to do it (as if I could stop it), but after I went away for 7 months on a exchange I came back to "We cannot believe it but we actually missed your sense of humor" and I went "it's not really all humor but whatevs, I'll take it" xD
+PolliitoAle I am the exact same. (Have a hard life too but I hate to remind ppl for their duties or commenting their bs...because they're full of it sometimes and I cannot stand it.) :D
I'm passive aggressive but I'm normally really nice passive and then when people walk on me I'm still passive but that's when the aggressive b**** comes out
UGh I hate it when someone borrows some money or something from you and never EVER gives it back or doesn't even remember about it, and you don't to annoy them again and again bout it cuz you don't want to destroy your friendship with them. This is why I have trust issues.
Make them commit to paying you back before you lend money or save your money. Get them to decide when they can pay you back, and if you can let that money go for that long, make the deal and then follow them up on that date (or the next day if you're generous). Rinse, repeat. If they have not paid you back before, or they are wishy-washy about their pay date, let them know that you need the money and can't lend it this time. If it's a small debt, like laundry money, consider it a gift instead of a debt and just let it go. And remember that friends generally reciprocate, so if your friend didn't pay you back directly, maybe they have given/shared food with you or spotted you for dinner or something. Try to remember your friendship rather than getting caught up in little money grudges.
yeah, thanks for the advice, need it .. I know that sometimes I get too caught about the money they owe me, and it's really petty of me. I hate it when someone just takes advantage of me almost never saying no. But I'm going to follow your advice because some of friends would do the same for me, thanks again!
You're welcome! I know it can be hard to be assertive because it looks scary and risky, but if you hate being walked on, you'll at least have your integrity in the end. And if they're really good friends, they'll ask you a couple times if something is okay, like Quinta in the video. That'll hopefully give you a couple chances to build up the courage. And remember that they might not even realize they're taking advantage of you. They prolly think you're just really generous and supportive for when they need it.
yeah and then you are the one who nags about "little things" right? Sometimes passive aggresive does work, most of the times it's just very draining. So I wanna say sorry to my friends because I suspect I'm one too. Got that from my dad obviously : /
Sevensliders maybe i'm not... I just have trouble expressing what I really want and when it doesn't go my way i don't want to make people mad so i just go with it but i eventually have to say what i really wanted when they ask me what's wrong :/
Bottling up all those frustrations inside and one day they will explode. Let the other party know that you disagree on something they agree upon. Sure, they may be mad now but it'll be healthier in the long run than bottling it up inside and lashing out when it gets to a breaking point, then the mess will be much harder to clean up.
My friend is so passive aggressive, to the point where it actually hurts, and he has no idea how mean he can be, because he is not aware of the fact that he is being harsh. Confronting him just turns into a weird defensive battle.
Shakespeare Olive same here, but den when i get mad at her she is all like 'oh ya like always get mad at me!' Even tho she is the one getting mad always .-. And then she just ignores me! Ugh
Not to tell you what to do but maybe distance yourself from them? Some may think that that’s not very loving but sometimes loving someone is making clear boundaries so they see what they’re doing wrong and so you can live a healthy life.
steamed buns619 I didn’t say they couldn’t tell them what they’re doing wrong, but I also didn’t specifically say to do so. So yes, you should sit down and talk with them but sometimes it is better for one’s health to distance themselves from said toxic person (especially if you’ve talked with them and they do not have any intention of changing). You shouldn’t do so lightly of course.
I once had a coworker who would almost always enter any conversation with "are you guys talking about me?" it got so annoying I finally told her yea we are but only because you keep asking us 🙄
Yea me and my enemy once found two lost dogs and got two ten dollar bills she said her mom forced her to put her ten dollars in the bank and she spent MINE on A WHOLE FRICKEN HOUR OF GO CART...i still want to punch her in the face
But there is funny sarcasm and there is this.. not even sure or this is sarcasm. because sarcasm is not meaning the things you say. but in this situation allison defenitely wants something from Quinta. she means the things she says. so calling it sarcasm isnt very relevant.
I know I was developing passive aggressive behavior due to me being treated like a lesser person and me getting shunned and rejected by certain types of people who I've thought was nice, instead of me letting them know how I feel about their behavior I would act like I'm upset with somebody else or ask people if it was just me or are people less nice and friendly towards one another anymore in hopes of gaining their sympathy, now I'm gonna try not to worry about what others think of me and to be more direct when I feel something isn't right, I really don't want to be a passive aggressive person although I know it's easier than being a verbally aggressive person or a physically aggressive person.
There's direct, and then there's bringing up old news because you never got over it. Allison did the latter. She was never direct about her feelings, not even in the ending confrontation because she takes it all back with "but it's not a big deal" (when obviously it is or she wouldn't have been acting subtly mad the whole day/week.) Being direct is being honest and assertive in the moment. And Quinta wasn't hurt; she was annoyed that Allison was grudgey and dishonest. Don't deflect blame for your actions on someone else's "uncalled for" reaction. They may be responsible for the initial pain (e.g. feeling used) but you are responsible for how you compose yourself (e.g. being honest).
As I write this, I realize that one friend of mine has been passive aggressive, because she hasn't answered my calls or text messages since April. Silence and unresponsiveness are passive aggressive behaviors!
Not really, that's just someone who thinks you're a low priority. When their higher priorities are filled, or don't want them, then suddenly they'll contact you again. Best to move on and dump those types of people!
I learned how to be passive aggressive through my mom, she always left me intimidating notes instead of talking to me directly, now its the only way I feel I can talk to people about issues I have. Which sucks, especially if its someone you're interested in or dating because who wants to be around someone who can only express themselves through writing? It's a good way to vent for yourself or online, but when you're with someone in person and you'd rather text them than speak to them I can see how people get annoyed rather easily with it.
Sometimes I feel like Buzzfeed has been reading into my life. Actually I don't, I just acknowledge that a lot of people like to be b!tches, but remain polite about it.
Before I make the loan, I either decide I don't care if they pay me back and make it a gift (e.g. if it's a few quarters for laundry) or I ask them about when they could pay me back (giving them a general payback date, when I'll ask again soon after if it's not paid by then). If they've borrowed from me before and never paid me back, (I forgive that past debt if it's small) I just tell them I need my money and I can't spot them this time (and if there is a big past debt, I stand my ground and tell them that last time, they didn't pay that money). I never yell or whine, just state facts and ask questions. That, or I sell their cat and keep the interest.
If you're the type who gets awkward and don't know how to ask for money back, the best way to go about it is to borrow money from the person who owes you. Just say, "Hey do you have $20 on you right now? I forgot my wallet." That always works for me.
I totally get it. You wanna say something is bothering you, but you're so scared that people are gonna get mad at you that you try to say in the nicest way possible. I do that all the time and it sucks.
The moment I saw the title I was like okay let's see if I have any passive agressive friends but then while watching, I realize I am that horrible of a friend who clings onto people all day and gets furious about money or not getting all the attention from them...
I don't think being passive aggressive is that bad. Ppl have been like that one time or another, I'm sure. Just because you need to be assertive doesn't mean you are daring enough for stirring up aggression. Not everyone can handle conflicts, and we are socially taught that violence is unnecessary in situations. So what can we do to release anxiety and frustration? There are tons of ppl out there who have the shittiest jobs ever and I thank them for being passive aggressive not going on strike or quitting their job. Don't treat passive aggression as a crime, it's just defense mechanism and to keep peace, you have to do that sometimes.
***** Threatening someone is being aggressive. Being assertive is saying what's necessary. Just tell them. "Jim, I want that twenty I loaned you. This Friday is soon enough, since it's pay day." That's being assertive. It's not rude. It just states what you want and when. No big deal. "Cindy, I want my gray cardigan that I let you borrow. I can go by your place this evening after work. I'll see you then." Simple. :)
I actually never loan money. If someone asks to borrow money from me, I just make it a gift. I learned early never to loan money expecting to see it again. I'm assertive in other ways. I'm pretty blunt. If you want to know the truth, ask me. I'm not afraid to tell you. :) Life's too short. I'll deal with the consequences. I stick up for the underdogs. I like fairness. And I'm quick to point out crap when I see it. So, yeah. If someone owes YOU money, I wouldn't be afraid to ask for it back. :)
please don't be too proud of being passive aggressive. I'm trying to stop because it's what I least about myself. If you have something to say, be straightforward or don't say it at all. You can drop hints if it's harmless like your interest in someone or a joke, but don't roll your eyes, or obviously imply something rude and not say it. Because that's basically saying "I'm not going to own my rudeness, but use it in a way that you get the point but I'm still a good person"
I was raised to be passive aggressive by my mother, it's difficult to break out of, you don't even realizing you're doing it till after, and it's easier to do to family, close friends, and longtime boyfriends- which makes 0 sense(funny thing is passive aggressive people are never passive aggressive to strangers and new people they just met-which again makes 0 sense)
I'M SORRY I'M PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE I WISH I COULD BE DIRECT I'M JUST REALLY INDECISIVE AND I DON'T WANT TO BE MAD AT YOU PLEASE UNDERSTAND **sobs quietly**
OMG THAT SO ME!!!! I kind of feel ashamed and kind of not "You'll be late? Kind figured out thirty minutes ago. But what's new? Anyway, don't worry. I've waited almost an hour, what's another two?" Me, to my friend who is always late.
+BaNaNasRiEl It's probably because she's insecure and unwilling to seem offensive or standoffish, while at the same time trying to stick up for herself.
People tend to think passive aggressive people are angry..I am passive aggressive out of habit lol but honestly almost never angry for more then two seconds even on big issues..I just carried my passive aggressive habit from childhood trauma to my adult years..I do have a tendency to please people more then I should tho and do not like conflict spikes my anxiety up to a full blown almost panic attack so I tend to be passive aggressive because of that more then out of hidden anger.
So passive agressive person means someone who pretends to be okay with something thay actually is not okay to her/him and be secretly mad at it and make a big deal out of it someday. right?
Here is the spectrum: *Passive*: Pretends to be okay with everything, basically doesn't have opinion. Normally associated with being shy, quiet, and reserved. i.e. "I don't care.", shrugging, and mild tone *Assertive*: Says what you want, in a kind compassionate way. Basically, the way most people are a lot of the time. i.e. "I want... because...", hand gestures to accentuate point, and confident tone. *Aggressive*: Says what you want vaguely and forcefully. Normally associated with being angry, argumentative, and annoyed. i.e. "Give me... now", in extreme cases hands balled into fist, and angry tone. *Passive Aggressive*: Don't say what you want, but make it very clear, sometimes sarcastic, but not in a nice or funny way. It is *very* frustrating. i.e. "Yeah, yeah, sure. I mean, you know I hate it but, sure.", eye rolling and lack of eye contact, and rude-sounding tone. Passive, assertive, and aggressive are all fine, really whatever works for you, although most people believe assertive to be the most efficient. However, passive aggressive is very frustrating, and it's something that is learned.
because we're trying to make everyone else happy but at the same time we're trying to speak up for and we're having a hard time doing it at least that's for me
+Lara Hosking it's rude because you're thinking negative things in your head and I hate how people aren't just chill and then straight up about any issues they have. Easily agitated people are rude, especially when they make no effort to resolve their issue with someone. It's childish
mm1996 its not childish at all, we just dont want to hurt anyones feelings, and I personaly dont think negative things, I just find a way to make that thing possitive so i can live with it, if its something that i find really bad, i will say it, although it would take a lot of effort. And belive me its just so difficult to say whats on your mind, my friend always tells me to do that but its just not in me, its really hard, but its not childish at all.
It's because we don't want to be rude and sometimes we are to shy to be straightforward so we do it in a way that gives you hints but is nicer and compromises.
Susan Paulwell hahaha same I am literally Quinta (blunt, late, always broke ;) - but at least what you see is what you get and everyone is allowed to be mad at me if I do something they do not agree with and discuss it with me openly without me being a crybaby about it)
oh my. is that me? because yeah I always ask my friends, are you mad at me. and they said no and I can see through their behaviour that they mad at me.
Tbh being on the phone while someone is talking to you is pretty rude
unless it’s important
megan guedel
But at least tell the person who sitting in front of you that you’re busy
Shamma Al-Blooshi if it’s important it’s important
@@meganguedel then say it. It takes absolutely no effort to say I'm sorry this is important give me a second, don't leave the person talking mid sentence, it's rude and unjustified
Just Me ur not understanding the point
Wtf, her friend ignores her, is constantly late, owes her 20$, doesnt care about her, and not dealing with it well is heing passive-aggressive? Damn
if she talked to her directly, all those problems would be solved instantly.
and no, Quinta is very nice thank you very much! She just doesn't take hints that easily.
Bruh it's just a skit chill 💀
She asked her directly about 20$ and the girl just ignores left her make situation, like Alison is wrong!
nihhal ikr
True tho
I miss this era of buzzfeed
Why?
Same
Same
Same
Same
I hate it when I’m saying a story in front of my friends and then all of sudden another friend starts to say something and they just put their attention on them
Same. I mean it's kinda rude though. Does it mean we're passive aggressive too?
Then say it’s rude
samee
Some people are just not that direct, you know. That’s not instantly passive agressive. Sometimes introverts have no other way but being passive agressive. We should really avoid it though but sometimes there’s no other way lol
That happens to me sometimes. But I always assumed that it was because I did something wrong
but...Alison is not wrong for asking her money back
@Knarf Nil
A good and responsible friend would've broken into her home, slaughtered her entire family and use their blood to write the message: "Ya can give me the money anytime this month, I don't mind".
Nor is she wrong for reckoning being on your damn phone while someone's talking to you is rude as hell.
@Sunday Girl maybe she thinks that she would be heartbroken
stan stray kids
@Sunday Girl or quinta could just give the money back without having to be reminded all the time
If my friend owed me $20 I would go from passive-aggressive to plain aggressive
I lent $20 to a "friend" and she never gave them back. She disappeared.
@@asbjelasulejmani8585 same but 120
M.H. KÜNTUĞ oh wow. I’m sorry
Any reasonable person would have took $20 from her wallet
If my friend owes me money I forget and they eventually return them back
"This is why I should never say anything" My life
OMGOMGG G G I love your Pfp LET'S GO AND FREEZE OUR BRAIN
Same
mayo cat
Is it like heathers or something
That’s why I’m always quiet
@@BobTheBuilder-dk5ry ROSEEEEEE
Maybe she should have just payed her back
Makayla B. Yeah
Makayla B. It’s paid*
Exactly 👏
Paid*
Why does everybıdy say payed
shout out to toxic parents instilling their toxic behaviours into us that we now have to dismantle in years of therapy like passive aggressiveness lmao
Being passive aggressive is a form of being a people pleaser (which comes out of insecurity). You don't ever say what you want or think because you don't want to upset anybody but at the same time you don't want to sacrifice your own wants and needs too much which makes you passive aggressive which is a hundred times more aggravating than telling people how you feel/what you want, even if it could potentially upset the people around you.
True. The worst part is that passive aggressive people often take pride in their ability to be passive aggressive, which is really just another way of saying that you have pride in being a doormat that is afraid of confrontation.
😑 story of my life
Nah I like to try and balance and say what I want but not to be too blunt
@mia morales i think it's just passive, not passive aggressive. I guess. Idk
thats me 🙁
and i hate this
Ok but... She owes her money, pay it back
People who don't pay back money is so irritating.
@@Fartsquad_so are people who don’t use proper grammar :)
0:04
I've always felt that she looks A LOT like Dakota Johnson.
Prutha Hardas she doesn’t rlly
Who that
YES
I am definitely the passive aggressive friend. I am all the time
+CockBlocker420 shut up
lol
+Brent Baker leave.
+CockBlocker420 are you talking to yourself again?
me too
Oh. I must be passive aggressive. That explains it. Anytime someone stops replying to my text messages I hate myself so much.
ahh.. there you are!
YOU"RE BACK
Can you like... not be everywhere? Go outside...
You get a lot of flack but I appreciate you. You don't even let the haters phase you. You're literally doing nothing to them. Keep commenting, girl and do you.
***** Nah. It's cool. I usually just try to play it off.
I didn't know I was the passive aggressive friend till I watched this video😂
I've never gotten payed back
Sammme
Same😂
Salomé King. I knew I was, already. I totally am, I never say what I mean. Which is why I have almost no friends.
Me too
Ah, lovely, you've finally made a video about me. It's not like I was waiting for months or anything. Not at all. The video is wonderfully hilarious.
Named after my favorite villain on Danny Phantom are we?
I read that in Vlad's voice.
Marshmallow Moo Same
Marshmallow Moo
same here.. i miss that cartoon.
Same as well, it was a really great cartoon. I used to ship Sam and Danny, then Valerie and Danny.
What's even worse is when there's two of you:
Friend 1: What do you want to eat?
Friend 2: Whatever you do.
Friend 1: I'll do whatever you do.
Friend 2: No, I insist, what do you want to eat?
Friend 1: I don't care, what about you?
...
Happens too often.
That is me and my boyfriend in a nutshell -_- lol
Bri Washington omg same..its so frustrating sometimes lol
Lizze Lizzard
Fahad Azhar Downloads what?? 0_o
***** That's why you ask, "What do you *not* wanna eat?" and then go to any place which doesn't have what he/she listed. Because most of the time, people know what they don't want before what they do
Legend has it that she still hasn't gotten her 20$ back
I've never realized I'm the passive aggressive friend
+moon child haha same here.
Me too
I'm passive agressive AND sarcastic so people have just come to accept it as "yeah, that's how Ale does humor" and I'm like "No, I'm being fuckin serious, I'm just not straightfoward"
Yeah so am I!! Finally someone like me!! Only difference is people accept you but they think you're being funny, when you're serious. No one accepts me at all. I either get sympathy I never asked for which turns my brain to think I do and I SHOULD feel sad when I'm not, or I just get yelled at. And not even by my parents!
CJ Arteaga You find people who will get it. My parents never really got how I work and used to tell me not to do it (as if I could stop it), but after I went away for 7 months on a exchange I came back to "We cannot believe it but we actually missed your sense of humor" and I went "it's not really all humor but whatevs, I'll take it" xD
I AM THE SAME YAY
+PolliitoAle I am the exact same. (Have a hard life too but I hate to remind ppl for their duties or commenting their bs...because they're full of it sometimes and I cannot stand it.) :D
I'm passive aggressive but I'm normally really nice passive and then when people walk on me I'm still passive but that's when the aggressive b**** comes out
When someone tells me "what do you want for lunch?" or "what do u want for dinner?", I'm like "what r the options??"
Me too
UGh I hate it when someone borrows some money or something from you and never EVER gives it back or doesn't even remember about it, and you don't to annoy them again and again bout it cuz you don't want to destroy your friendship with them.
This is why I have trust issues.
Make them commit to paying you back before you lend money or save your money. Get them to decide when they can pay you back, and if you can let that money go for that long, make the deal and then follow them up on that date (or the next day if you're generous). Rinse, repeat.
If they have not paid you back before, or they are wishy-washy about their pay date, let them know that you need the money and can't lend it this time.
If it's a small debt, like laundry money, consider it a gift instead of a debt and just let it go. And remember that friends generally reciprocate, so if your friend didn't pay you back directly, maybe they have given/shared food with you or spotted you for dinner or something. Try to remember your friendship rather than getting caught up in little money grudges.
yeah, thanks for the advice, need it .. I know that sometimes I get too caught about the money they owe me, and it's really petty of me. I hate it when someone just takes advantage of me almost never saying no. But I'm going to follow your advice because some of friends would do the same for me, thanks again!
You're welcome! I know it can be hard to be assertive because it looks scary and risky, but if you hate being walked on, you'll at least have your integrity in the end. And if they're really good friends, they'll ask you a couple times if something is okay, like Quinta in the video. That'll hopefully give you a couple chances to build up the courage. And remember that they might not even realize they're taking advantage of you. They prolly think you're just really generous and supportive for when they need it.
yeah! You just need to know that the person means well, and to trust them! :L makes life easier.
yeah and then you are the one who nags about "little things" right? Sometimes passive aggresive does work, most of the times it's just very draining. So I wanna say sorry to my friends because I suspect I'm one too. Got that from my dad obviously : /
I don't even know how to be passive aggressive, like seriously, that stuff takes skill.
Just be coward enough while thinking you are just polite about it to not communciate properly while still having high expectations.
It stinks but it is so me!! Hate hurting feelings :(
Mable Clark ikr
Chelsey Michelle don't think you're that nice and sweet. You don't care about others feelings; you just care about how they feel about YOU.
Lmao i dont know how not to be passive aggressive. That takes skill too 😂😂😂
1:43 the way she said Quinta lol 😂
I miss this type of of content.
I'm not a troll What Hey pham
I'm not a troll What phamily
allison is me
except she's prettier
She doesn't like Chinese food, that makes someone 90% less attractive
+Anon NC I dont think that's how it works
Don't think of yourself like that
i am too
Same
"Are you mad at me?"
*"Are you mad at me??"*
Relatable af😂
I legit gasped when Quinta stabbed her food with her chopsticks, no one understands my ways.
I know thats a bad! 😲😲😅😅
+Annie “Koala” Anonymous They were holding chopsticks so bad
do you find it bad as you're Japanese, see from what I have learned it is rude to stab your food with chopsticks in the Japanese culture :P
the ugly duckling Yes, so cringy
Annie Anonymous aahhhhh oki thx :)
omg I'm the passive-agressive friend almost all the time... is that bad? i hate annoying people or being rejected :(
Sevensliders maybe i'm not... I just have trouble expressing what I really want and when it doesn't go my way i don't want to make people mad so i just go with it but i eventually have to say what i really wanted when they ask me what's wrong :/
Bottling up all those frustrations inside and one day they will explode. Let the other party know that you disagree on something they agree upon. Sure, they may be mad now but it'll be healthier in the long run than bottling it up inside and lashing out when it gets to a breaking point, then the mess will be much harder to clean up.
+Lily Evanora Same girl same
+Lily Evanora Omg I am that person too!!! Same, same. I don't want to be mean when I want things so I just sort of go with it and feel sad later on...
not bad
if you have friend it's not bad course they like you
I’m just the one that’s too blunt and direct at times and the overly kind one most of the time.
it's because you're upset, but you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. you don't want them to think you're mean
Just be ironic then people will get it
this is me, oh my god I thought I was the only one
But she’s asking for her own money...
Thanks for 10 likes yayyy
The point of the video is that she can't be straightforward
Ikr
1:26
DID I JUST SEE THE WORDS "GET RID OF SPIDERMAN"?
NO I DON'T THINK WE WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Emma Wolfe no you heard it
she may have been reading subtitles
OH YEAH I HEAR IT!! 1:22 - 1:26
I KNOW I CANT BELIEVE I LOOOOOVE TOM 💘💘💘
Omg she predicted the future
My friend is so passive aggressive, to the point where it actually hurts, and he has no idea how mean he can be, because he is not aware of the fact that he is being harsh. Confronting him just turns into a weird defensive battle.
Shakespeare Olive just give him his $20 back
Shakespeare Olive same here, but den when i get mad at her she is all like 'oh ya like always get mad at me!' Even tho she is the one getting mad always .-. And then she just ignores me! Ugh
Not to tell you what to do but maybe distance yourself from them? Some may think that that’s not very loving but sometimes loving someone is making clear boundaries so they see what they’re doing wrong and so you can live a healthy life.
steamed buns619 I didn’t say they couldn’t tell them what they’re doing wrong, but I also didn’t specifically say to do so. So yes, you should sit down and talk with them but sometimes it is better for one’s health to distance themselves from said toxic person (especially if you’ve talked with them and they do not have any intention of changing). You shouldn’t do so lightly of course.
@Hannah Papernick-Yudin same. I actually had to reflect on my self respect once we stopped being friends.
I once had a coworker who would almost always enter any conversation with "are you guys talking about me?" it got so annoying I finally told her yea we are but only because you keep asking us 🙄
There is always that person but my answer was " you aren't really THAT important to talk about .....so no . "
but come on!!! PAY HER BACK!!
They should have made it something smaller than her getting her money back because I'd be fucking pissed if a friend didn't care to pay me back
Are you really a gypsy
Yea me and my enemy once found two lost dogs and got two ten dollar bills she said her mom forced her to put her ten dollars in the bank and she spent MINE on A WHOLE FRICKEN HOUR OF GO CART...i still want to punch her in the face
The question is am i really a babe? The answer is no.
+Gypsy Babe what the heck XD gypsy is a name for one of the persian cats of mythicbells and her name is gypsy rose...shes very cute too
bbhmm
I like that Quinta's energy and personality always shines through.
I hate people who do not understand basic sarcasm.
same
I'm that kind of person that makes jokes alot (i can be serious). But i really hate when people take it too literally.
This is so relatable
But there is funny sarcasm and there is this.. not even sure or this is sarcasm. because sarcasm is not meaning the things you say. but in this situation allison defenitely wants something from Quinta. she means the things she says. so calling it sarcasm isnt very relevant.
Super RandomReese Did you comment on your own comment? lol
I feel like this is Quinta's best episode like she's honestly so funny in this one
I know right
I know I was developing passive aggressive behavior due to me being treated like a lesser person and me getting shunned and rejected by certain types of people who I've thought was nice, instead of me letting them know how I feel about their behavior I would act like I'm upset with somebody else or ask people if it was just me or are people less nice and friendly towards one another anymore in hopes of gaining their sympathy, now I'm gonna try not to worry about what others think of me and to be more direct when I feel something isn't right, I really don't want to be a passive aggressive person although I know it's easier than being a verbally aggressive person or a physically aggressive person.
I'm sorry bro. I feel your pain 🫂
yeah, that's me, I don't like it but can't change it either
If you notice it you can change it.
Same here, I also dont like it but its like im with it forever...
***** I must be a fucking miracle worker then. 😏
That’s extremely untrue
That's the thing about being passive aggressive. The minute you start being direct everyone is surprised and acts like their feelings are hurt.
There's direct, and then there's bringing up old news because you never got over it. Allison did the latter. She was never direct about her feelings, not even in the ending confrontation because she takes it all back with "but it's not a big deal" (when obviously it is or she wouldn't have been acting subtly mad the whole day/week.) Being direct is being honest and assertive in the moment. And Quinta wasn't hurt; she was annoyed that Allison was grudgey and dishonest. Don't deflect blame for your actions on someone else's "uncalled for" reaction. They may be responsible for the initial pain (e.g. feeling used) but you are responsible for how you compose yourself (e.g. being honest).
As I write this, I realize that one friend of mine has been passive aggressive, because she hasn't answered my calls or text messages since April. Silence and unresponsiveness are passive aggressive behaviors!
Not really, that's just someone who thinks you're a low priority. When their higher priorities are filled, or don't want them, then suddenly they'll contact you again. Best to move on and dump those types of people!
I miss Allison
Watch just between us it's her and gabys channel xx
EmmySinging I do :) but I miss her buzzfeed videos
+Annie W. Me too
+Annie W. Me too
Bruno mull123 h
I'm not passive but a aggressive.
TAKE NOTE ITS NOT IMPRESSIVE
+Izzy Conley it's a song lyric...(I wasn't sure if you knew😊)
+Amy Palmer lol I did got ya 😂😊
+Avocado Studio EMPTY YOUR SADNESS
FOB OMG HEY FAM
Basically:
Harper Finkle - Allison
Alex Russo - Quinta 😂
Exactly 🤷♀️🤷♀️
This is so me! I struggle with telling people what's truly on my mind and I'm always wondering if someone's mad at me
I learned how to be passive aggressive through my mom, she always left me intimidating notes instead of talking to me directly, now its the only way I feel I can talk to people about issues I have. Which sucks, especially if its someone you're interested in or dating because who wants to be around someone who can only express themselves through writing? It's a good way to vent for yourself or online, but when you're with someone in person and you'd rather text them than speak to them I can see how people get annoyed rather easily with it.
Omg I so know what you mean, it's the same with me and I don't know how not to be my mother
Sometimes I feel like Buzzfeed has been reading into my life.
Actually I don't, I just acknowledge that a lot of people like to be b!tches, but remain polite about it.
One time, a girl owed my $100, so I painted a one hindred dollar bill on her mirror in fake blood.
Me and my friends have come to a point in time, where I paid a lot, they paid a lot and we lost track of how much we owe each other.
Yeah, that's me.The sarcastic passive agressive friend. Amazing.
this is so me but i keep it bottled up and then take it out on a pillow or cry for 30 minutes straight...oh well
Marshall's Fiero go to the doctor. im not joking it sounds like deppression or anxiety. i would know
imagine your friend owing you $300.. lucky ur not me
@@shookbang4098 but ur too shy to ask for them/ u think if u ask u will upset them or come off as rude
@@joemana9707 true. I agree
That's not passive aggressive exactly, that's just passive (since you're not taking it out on anyone).
Crazy that Quinta is now both an Emmy and Golden Globe winner. Wow so proud of how far she’s come! ❤
How else do you ask for money when its owed?
Before I make the loan, I either decide I don't care if they pay me back and make it a gift (e.g. if it's a few quarters for laundry) or I ask them about when they could pay me back (giving them a general payback date, when I'll ask again soon after if it's not paid by then). If they've borrowed from me before and never paid me back, (I forgive that past debt if it's small) I just tell them I need my money and I can't spot them this time (and if there is a big past debt, I stand my ground and tell them that last time, they didn't pay that money). I never yell or whine, just state facts and ask questions.
That, or I sell their cat and keep the interest.
give me my money.
Demand for it back. If they refuse, fight them
If you don't like the person, hey you just got rid of em for $20. Since they will always avoid you to not give it back. Bronx Tale :)
If you're the type who gets awkward and don't know how to ask for money back, the best way to go about it is to borrow money from the person who owes you. Just say, "Hey do you have $20 on you right now? I forgot my wallet." That always works for me.
Quinta looks so stylish here
I totally get it. You wanna say something is bothering you, but you're so scared that people are gonna get mad at you that you try to say in the nicest way possible. I do that all the time and it sucks.
I miss Allison in Buzzfeed videos :(
I would never be able to handle a friend like that
I expected her to scream "WHERE IS MY MONEY?" in the end.
If you are reading this comment know that you are a beautiful person, have a great day/night!
No
Nope
Also have a great day/night
hell no
Anthelica McKittensworth Thank you! 😋☺
GOT DANG IT, THIS IS ME. "are you mad at me?" Story of my life.
SAME. I can't stop being worried asdfghjkl
The moment I saw the title I was like okay let's see if I have any passive agressive friends but then while watching, I realize I am that horrible of a friend who clings onto people all day and gets furious about money or not getting all the attention from them...
I don't think being passive aggressive is that bad. Ppl have been like that one time or another, I'm sure. Just because you need to be assertive doesn't mean you are daring enough for stirring up aggression. Not everyone can handle conflicts, and we are socially taught that violence is unnecessary in situations. So what can we do to release anxiety and frustration? There are tons of ppl out there who have the shittiest jobs ever and I thank them for being passive aggressive not going on strike or quitting their job. Don't treat passive aggression as a crime, it's just defense mechanism and to keep peace, you have to do that sometimes.
The opposite of passive aggressive isn't aggressive. It's assertive. It's okay to speak up and often necessary.
***** Threatening someone is being aggressive. Being assertive is saying what's necessary. Just tell them. "Jim, I want that twenty I loaned you. This Friday is soon enough, since it's pay day." That's being assertive. It's not rude. It just states what you want and when. No big deal. "Cindy, I want my gray cardigan that I let you borrow. I can go by your place this evening after work. I'll see you then." Simple. :)
I actually never loan money. If someone asks to borrow money from me, I just make it a gift. I learned early never to loan money expecting to see it again. I'm assertive in other ways. I'm pretty blunt. If you want to know the truth, ask me. I'm not afraid to tell you. :) Life's too short. I'll deal with the consequences. I stick up for the underdogs. I like fairness. And I'm quick to point out crap when I see it. So, yeah. If someone owes YOU money, I wouldn't be afraid to ask for it back. :)
XenatR I like the way you say "you women." What kind of company do you have where you don't allow women who are passive-aggressive?
*****
If you loan someone 20 dollars and never see it again it was probably worth it.
this is third video I've seen and so far I'm the mom friend, I'm the chill friend and the passive aggressive friend😂
This was posted on my Birthday! Like two years ago, that feeling of excitement when you see it's posted on your bday is always so weird
Frenchfriesx So true! 😁
please don't be too proud of being passive aggressive. I'm trying to stop because it's what I least about myself. If you have something to say, be straightforward or don't say it at all. You can drop hints if it's harmless like your interest in someone or a joke, but don't roll your eyes, or obviously imply something rude and not say it. Because that's basically saying "I'm not going to own my rudeness, but use it in a way that you get the point but I'm still a good person"
Oh... I guess I am that friend... never realized it until now. Dammit.
Alison was cute doing the "Are you mad at me?" part...
I was raised to be passive aggressive by my mother, it's difficult to break out of, you don't even realizing you're doing it till after, and it's easier to do to family, close friends, and longtime boyfriends- which makes 0 sense(funny thing is passive aggressive people are never passive aggressive to strangers and new people they just met-which again makes 0 sense)
Oh my god I am the queen of the "Are you made at me?" brigade.
“Are you mad at me”
“NO!!”
“Alison, are you mad at me”
“No, I mean you owe me $20 but....
“Ok”(walks away)
“It’s not a big deal”
I'M SORRY I'M PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE I WISH I COULD BE DIRECT I'M JUST REALLY INDECISIVE AND I DON'T WANT TO BE MAD AT YOU PLEASE UNDERSTAND **sobs quietly**
So that's why.
Josie G.K. me too. i feel like i have a disorder.
Just work on it with time. You'll get there.
SAME. I JUST DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO BE SAD. AND MOST OF THE TIME I RELY ON THEM TO MAKE THE DECISION.
Ugh same ;_;
Well, I'm Canadian, so pretty much everyone is passive aggressive here. ;)
+GirlyDino that's actually cute, when it's not that extreme
So you mean Canadians act like they are nice and give you jelly donuts sarcastically?
True tho! 🙌🙌
oh okay, i just thought i secretly hated my friends.
OMG THAT SO ME!!!! I kind of feel ashamed and kind of not
"You'll be late? Kind figured out thirty minutes ago. But what's new? Anyway, don't worry. I've waited almost an hour, what's another two?"
Me, to my friend who is always late.
Albus bruh just tell them you don’t like having to wait for them bc acting like that will just make them not want to go at all
A lot of people tell me I'm passive aggressive. I have to be. I am the Lord.
I heard Christianity was a mushroom cult if that is true I might have to use ansatsuken on you
Shin akuma Yes, we all mushrooms in the eyes of Gawd. Pliz no ansatsuken. I fear the fist.
mocking someones religion shows how ignorant you're.
Laura Alvarez I don't think you know what ignorant means.
Mocking? No no, I do not mock. I spread only the good news.
Hail Jebus and GAWD
1:21 *anxiety intensifies*
I'M THE PASSIVE AGRESSIVE FRIEND! DX Jada Anglin Victoria Perschbacher Oli Sykes Black Rabbit Bridget Schafer
We all have days that we act as the passive aggressive friend
Yup. That is you. xD Don't worry about it.
I feel like that's me sometimes. "R u mad at me?"
If you were that friend you probably wouldn't be posing this.
literally my best friend.
she is so annoying sometimes
but is still love her :p
+BaNaNasRiEl It's probably because she's insecure and unwilling to seem offensive or standoffish, while at the same time trying to stick up for herself.
Cali Latet yes,very true!😊
this era of buzzfeed was the best, I wish it would comeback
I AM 100 PERCENT THIS PERSON
I'm always asking "are we still friends?"
Don't be passive aggressive. It's more work for you. It isn't effective communication.
People tend to think passive aggressive people are angry..I am passive aggressive out of habit lol but honestly almost never angry for more then two seconds even on big issues..I just carried my passive aggressive habit from childhood trauma to my adult years..I do have a tendency to please people more then I should tho and do not like conflict spikes my anxiety up to a full blown almost panic attack so I tend to be passive aggressive because of that more then out of hidden anger.
I'm the passive aggressive friend omg
I knew this was me before I watched the video but the “are u mad at me part” rlly hit home 😅
So passive agressive person means someone who pretends to be okay with something thay actually is not okay to her/him and be secretly mad at it and make a big deal out of it someday. right?
Kind of. It's sort of an instinct because most of passive aggressive are scared of rejection and saying 'no' to someone :/
Here is the spectrum:
*Passive*: Pretends to be okay with everything, basically doesn't have opinion. Normally associated with being shy, quiet, and reserved. i.e. "I don't care.", shrugging, and mild tone
*Assertive*: Says what you want, in a kind compassionate way. Basically, the way most people are a lot of the time. i.e. "I want... because...", hand gestures to accentuate point, and confident tone.
*Aggressive*: Says what you want vaguely and forcefully. Normally associated with being angry, argumentative, and annoyed. i.e. "Give me... now", in extreme cases hands balled into fist, and angry tone.
*Passive Aggressive*: Don't say what you want, but make it very clear, sometimes sarcastic, but not in a nice or funny way. It is *very* frustrating. i.e. "Yeah, yeah, sure. I mean, you know I hate it but, sure.", eye rolling and lack of eye contact, and rude-sounding tone.
Passive, assertive, and aggressive are all fine, really whatever works for you, although most people believe assertive to be the most efficient. However, passive aggressive is very frustrating, and it's something that is learned.
+Jasmine Mississo guess that's me 😣
Jåånås å Happens to the best of us ;)
Jasmine Mississo hihi thank you your sweet = )
quinta and I use the same lipstick, "shameless" by revlon :-)
am i supposed to laugh now...
+abdulaziz alghamdi why would you think it was meant to be a joke? It's just a comment. Or do you not know what comments are?
I noticed her revlon lipstick too! :-D
+Dil Howlter seokjin!
Honestly, when someone owes you money it’s never easy to ask for it back because you don’t wanna be rude
Honestly I find passive aggressive people ruder than aggressive people. Stop being shifty and fake
because we're trying to make everyone else happy but at the same time we're trying to speak up for and we're having a hard time doing it at least that's for me
+mm1996 It's not rude, we just really want to make everyone happy, and we feel bad if we say something wrong and offend someone
+Lara Hosking it's rude because you're thinking negative things in your head and I hate how people aren't just chill and then straight up about any issues they have. Easily agitated people are rude, especially when they make no effort to resolve their issue with someone. It's childish
mm1996 its not childish at all, we just dont want to hurt anyones feelings, and I personaly dont think negative things, I just find a way to make that thing possitive so i can live with it, if its something that i find really bad, i will say it, although it would take a lot of effort. And belive me its just so difficult to say whats on your mind, my friend always tells me to do that but its just not in me, its really hard, but its not childish at all.
It's because we don't want to be rude and sometimes we are to shy to be straightforward so we do it in a way that gives you hints but is nicer and compromises.
i think the moral of the video is never lend people money.
Everyone in this video are so sweet, talented, and beautiful!! I love them all!!!!😍♥️
Well all of the comments are 'omg I'm the passive aggressive friend' and I'm just over here like😐
Susan Paulwell hahaha same I am literally Quinta (blunt, late, always broke ;) - but at least what you see is what you get and everyone is allowed to be mad at me if I do something they do not agree with and discuss it with me openly without me being a crybaby about it)
This is so me, but I love chinese food.
+Tefi Villegas OMG ME TOO! TWINSS!!
+Katrina Greene TRIPLETS!!!!
+Tefi Villegas Same. Except for some of them. Like asking if they are mad at me. But everything else is the exact same o.o
Same lol
Poor Alison She's a good Friend.
Wait, so WHICH one was supposed to be the passive-agressive friend?
You all know that being passive aggressive is not a good thing right...? It used to be a disorder, I believe.
oh my. is that me? because yeah I always ask my friends, are you mad at me. and they said no and I can see through their behaviour that they mad at me.
Quinta: We'll get rid of spiderman
Allison: Are u mad at me?
Me: 😂😂😂 OMFG SPIDERMAN?