WATCH THIS before you break up with your partner

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  • Опубликовано: 28 окт 2024

Комментарии • 300

  • @anticonfidencegirl
    @anticonfidencegirl 8 месяцев назад +217

    Now she is a dating coach. Certainly better than any couple therapist or dating coach out there!

  • @anhlethien
    @anhlethien 8 месяцев назад +228

    The way she delivered her meaning is out of this world. You can’t find this kind of approach for relationships from anyone else on youtube 💯

  • @fengming4801
    @fengming4801 8 месяцев назад +26

    I wish I found this video before having struggles in a toxic relationship and a painful breakup afterwards. Such a great advice.

  • @Teamshmo
    @Teamshmo 8 месяцев назад +70

    Definitely. Letting things go that slightly bother you trains the person that you are ok with and eventually leads to you hating them. It was your fault from the start. They may not have said or done something at the start, but the fact you didn't let them know it isn't ok is on you

    • @cynthiascott3422
      @cynthiascott3422 3 месяца назад +14

      I don't think it's quite that simple, though, because if you bring up every minor thing that bothers you, it's only logical that you're going to eventually appear to your partner as someone who nags. That's never attractive in a partnership. I try to focus on only the most essential requests for change. I've been on the receiving end of a controlling, nagging partner who expected way more of me than of themselves. Fortunately, I exited after a while, but only after having been patient too long. I agree I didn’t speak up enough about my own needs. I sensed a lack of openness to change in that partner.

    • @ZanderSCP-001
      @ZanderSCP-001 28 дней назад +1

      I don't think that's what she said 🤔 I was under the impression that if you have to nag your partner or they nag at you to the point you're unhappy: leave the relationship. It's not the 50s I think people would be happier if they realized it's OK to be single, you shouldn't need to change anybody else to be happy, just take them as they are or leave them alone

  • @NatashaMeares
    @NatashaMeares 11 дней назад +227

    Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.

    • @EvaStang-r3y
      @EvaStang-r3y 11 дней назад +1

      Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.

    • @NatashaMeares
      @NatashaMeares 11 дней назад

      Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?

    • @EvaStang-r3y
      @EvaStang-r3y 11 дней назад

      His name is Fatherabulu, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.

  • @alienturtle1946
    @alienturtle1946 8 месяцев назад +31

    Does your relationship improve your life in the areas most important to you?
    1. Health
    2. Happiness
    3. Relationships
    4. Career
    5. Wealth
    6. Social standing/status

  • @MoniquesMessage
    @MoniquesMessage 7 месяцев назад +83

    I love her perspective on relationships it’s definitely original and insightful. However I think this approach is very logical, theoretically it works, it sounds gone on paper. The reality is when you’re emotionally invested you act on emotion and not logic.

    • @nanadrawslot
      @nanadrawslot 7 месяцев назад +2

      Certainly

    • @Astmens
      @Astmens 6 месяцев назад +5

      Learn to listen to your heart, know what you want, practice emotional intelligence, regulate emotions, catch yourself when you identify with a disempowering belief/emotion. And this approach will work for you ❤
      And also outcome for this video is to only decide to stay or leave. Outcome is not to remove all fighting and arguments, etc. 😊

    • @globyzeroivy
      @globyzeroivy 4 месяца назад +5

      In todays world women need to take a more practical approach, sadly. So I think the approach is great and can save you a lot of heartbreak

    • @ChiefTJBallout
      @ChiefTJBallout 4 месяца назад +2

      sounds like a you problem

    • @MoniquesMessage
      @MoniquesMessage 4 месяца назад +2

      @@ChiefTJBallout It’s not a problem it’s a perspective.

  • @Terrilyn_Austen
    @Terrilyn_Austen 8 месяцев назад +65

    Spot on Leila! You train people how to treat you!

    • @Terrilyn_Austen
      @Terrilyn_Austen 8 месяцев назад

      @user-zl1yq7qo1d that is true but if you accept bad behavior or they are treating you badly you are training/reinforcing that you will accept the treatment

    • @YoungJohnHolmes
      @YoungJohnHolmes 4 месяца назад +2

      @user-zl1yq7qo1d Yes, you do. You can't expect your partner to read your mind. You need to communicate how you want to be treated.

  • @AngelFux
    @AngelFux 8 месяцев назад +29

    Some of the absolute best advice I've heard on relationships hands down. Thank you Leila

  • @YuchanLeo
    @YuchanLeo 8 месяцев назад +5

    Her & her husband are helping me thinking life logically 🙏🏼

  • @srishtiswarnima-ks6qk
    @srishtiswarnima-ks6qk 6 месяцев назад +5

    Can you make another video differentiating between expectations and preferences? I think I need more clarity on that.

  • @MandyJRoss
    @MandyJRoss 8 месяцев назад +54

    Focus on you and the focus becomes you.❤

  • @lesliemuniz7676
    @lesliemuniz7676 8 месяцев назад +16

    Thank you so much. This is GROUND BREAKING. Will bring so much PEACE.

  • @TheKingWasi
    @TheKingWasi 8 месяцев назад +53

    This was one of the best videos I’ve ever seen about relationships!!! And I study and apply a lot of them! Kudos to you Leila for breaking this down with such a high concentrated amount of “no BS straight to the point” actionable items to make such a decision 👏👏👏

  • @johnmcguinness6804
    @johnmcguinness6804 5 месяцев назад +7

    My God, she makes so much sense! Totally different than the other videos out there. To the f**king point!!!

  • @2.0WOMANRevolutionbyCla-nb6js
    @2.0WOMANRevolutionbyCla-nb6js 6 месяцев назад +4

    Yessssss! It's all about empowerment and self-respect ! Thank you for sharing this perspective !

  • @jazzmineloreal
    @jazzmineloreal 7 месяцев назад +4

    This is the best relationship video out there - hands down!

  • @Stickerbob11
    @Stickerbob11 8 месяцев назад +14

    I’m single but this was sooo good

  • @charmainec2870
    @charmainec2870 7 месяцев назад +8

    This was so refreshing and exactly* what I needed to hear at exactly the right time. Thank you for sharing this.

  • @ArmandoArellano-j5e
    @ArmandoArellano-j5e 8 месяцев назад +7

    Having problems with my relationship. Really trying hard to do things the right way.
    Great timing!

  • @StephenHung2274
    @StephenHung2274 2 месяца назад +2

    Absolutely love the fact that both Leila and Alex spoke about people thinking more about jobs than relationships. You are a great combo.

  • @IanRamon
    @IanRamon 8 месяцев назад +23

    i wish i saw this before i got married and stop wasting my time. well this is planet Earth - trials and error :) You and Alex have a gift to make concepts SIMPLE, CLEAR and actionable steps.

  • @holly.Johnston
    @holly.Johnston 6 месяцев назад +2

    This video just helped me so much!! Thank you for making sense out of everything that’s been going through my head.

  • @BrittanyVassar
    @BrittanyVassar 19 дней назад +1

    This is really what I needed today. I’ve had a two year “situationship” that’s been off and on. I find when I’m spending more time with him, I fall into drinking habits with him that I deeply want to curb. I want to be healthier and it’s really important to me. I don’t think he’s a bad person, but his drinking habits are very triggering to me. I think looking at it this way is very helpful.

  • @maragirl1658
    @maragirl1658 8 месяцев назад +1

    The self respect measure is so spot on and is a great indicator for personal and professional decisions.

  • @charliih1893
    @charliih1893 7 месяцев назад +3

    This is huge, thank you so much for your insights and delivering them in such a straight forward way

  • @Lucidaydreamer
    @Lucidaydreamer 8 месяцев назад +3

    "Then you're just going to Chipotle..."
    That felt REAL. Alex, NO! 😅😅😅

  • @dylanmorgan5589
    @dylanmorgan5589 4 месяца назад +4

    Leila is turning into the more relevant one for me. I don't have 7 failing ice cream shops, so Alex can't help me, but I do have a relationship and issues.

  • @travelfoodielove
    @travelfoodielove 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thank u so much for this Leila! I’m literally in a toxic cycle

  • @perinaeva
    @perinaeva 7 месяцев назад +2

    Where have you been 6 months ago!!? I really needed to hear it! Thank you❤

  • @EllenJones-d8g
    @EllenJones-d8g 7 месяцев назад +1

    I would love to hear you expand a bit more on the idea of expectations vs preferences and how to categorize the things that fall into those categories

  • @LiYuan2131
    @LiYuan2131 29 дней назад

    You're really a life saver. Thank you for sharing this video and I felt so clear about my expectations in my future relationship

  • @liranredl8036
    @liranredl8036 3 месяца назад +2

    Thank you for this video, my girlfriend broke up with me and we had a rough time for almost half a year, and after i watched this I'm glad she ended the relationship, helped me understand how much i compromised and how much she didn't do any good for my life, after i gave my 100% to make it work while she slowly put less effort into the relationship 😔

  • @TheKingWasi
    @TheKingWasi 8 месяцев назад +6

    I love the self respect part and you can interchange that to self love as well. Does this person make you love yourself more or less? It’s not anyone’s job to make us love ourselves more in some unhealthy obligatory way, but I do believe the right person will help you be more of who you want to be, which is a version of yourself you love and respect more.

  • @CyberJoe78
    @CyberJoe78 8 месяцев назад +2

    19 years together and wife and I have only one of the F's. This video is so true!

  • @sommasculpture
    @sommasculpture 8 месяцев назад +18

    My wife and I have had the 3 F's for 5 years but without the 2nd F. FML

  • @mayakova
    @mayakova Месяц назад +1

    Ouch, so damn good! Thank you❤️

  • @chriswilfrid
    @chriswilfrid 8 месяцев назад +5

    Chris: Thank you for spreading this Awareness 🙏🏻

  • @chiarar5609
    @chiarar5609 8 месяцев назад +3

    Leila you are so inspiring !! So grateful to have found your channel 🥰

  • @maryamdw
    @maryamdw 8 месяцев назад +6

    wthhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im shook how perfect timing this video is!!!!! thanks babe!! I'm literally in a 'toxic' relationship right now and the main reason we are staying in this relationship is that we have a child. i know that is not a good reason to stay but we are a young couple and all we do is fight. We're literally stuck!! Honestly, God sent you my way so thanks babe for this video!!! Love ya

  • @thebowmac
    @thebowmac 7 месяцев назад +4

    So glad I recently found your account. Such quality, empowering advice! Thank you!

  • @arvinabdi2885
    @arvinabdi2885 8 месяцев назад +6

    Needed this lesson today! amazing input!

  • @Be_Kind7683
    @Be_Kind7683 6 месяцев назад +1

    My forner hisband and I almost 18 years ago used to argue every day.....We are alot happier now as divirced supportive parents and have kept the peace for over a decade. Currently( partner of 6 years) we are redeveloping our framework ....

  • @cookie87105
    @cookie87105 3 месяца назад +2

    I totally agree with everything you’ve said. I also think part of this is to do with comparability. When relationships are THIS much work, there are too many levels of incompatibility (expectations, communication styles, argument styles etc) these things aren’t always obvious in the first year of the relationship because a short term relationship has lower demands than a long term. It’s about how you grow together in a partnership, instead of constantly pulling away from each other and reigning each other back in with sex and romance. Your partner needs to be your best friend, first and foremost. It never feels like your best friend is giving you bare minimum, because they more naturally fulfil your needs due to compatibility ❤EDIT I posted this before you said about being a match 😂😂

  • @RohnisGames
    @RohnisGames 8 месяцев назад +5

    This is really an eye opener, makes me think about relationships in a different way than I used to do! Thanks Leila.❤

  • @jroddog1
    @jroddog1 7 месяцев назад +1

    Queen Hormozi 👍🏼👍🏼 Thanks

  • @johnrainsman6650
    @johnrainsman6650 5 месяцев назад +2

    I just broke up with my girlfriend, and I'm not sorry. She just won't respect me. Whenever we had an argument and I told her how she upset me, she would deny she said what I _felt_ was implied. Like, every time I expressed my interpretation of her words or intentions, she would say "I didn't say" or "I never said". It was so irritating. Last two weeks ago, I was playfully bantering with a buddy. It was us three and his girlfriend. My ex lectured me in front of them. I told her later that she embarrassed me, the way she made a fool out of me. And she said "I never said you were a fool. I think you're just overthinking it, John." So I said, "Overthinking it? So now you're making this _my_ problem? An addition to my other problems you had to point out?" And she of course said, "I never said 'problem.' That word never came up." After a different lecture from a different time, she told me she wasn't trying to give it to me, she was trying to help me be successful. So I said "Oh, so without your help, I'm a big failure?" And she said "I didn't say that." And yesterday, she did it again. I told her I was tired of her making me the big loser, during our arguments or when we were with people, and she said, "I never said you were a loser." In fact, I even said to her, "So what are you saying? That what I think you mean can't possibly be true, unless you directly say it?" And she said "I didn't say that." So I broke up with her. You know, I'm not an easy person to verbally interact with, I can admit that, but at least I don't evade responsibility for my mistakes. I would never dismiss someone's feelings or interpretations, especially with the technicality that I didn't say what they felt I said. Communication isn't just about what you say; it's also about what you interpret or indicate. Implications count. A person has every right to interpret a person's words a certain way. They might be wrong or mistaken, sure, but the least you can do is a. directly clarify or correct, and b., respect how they felt. But she wouldn't. She would make the issues mine only, and deny "saying" whatever. I'm the one who's overthinking it. I'm the one who has to work on his filter. I'm the one who's being too sensitive. I'm the one who has to let it go. I don't deny my flaws, but she references them more than she needs to, while subtracting her own. Why do people act cagey and say "I didn't/never say/said" anyway? It doesn't answer a question or address someone's feelings. Sometimes we say things we don't mean, and sometimes we mean things we don't say.

  • @klumpur23
    @klumpur23 8 месяцев назад +4

    I love this video. Leila you are awesome. It would be great if you can share more videos around relation topic, especially on how to make relationship empowering and work when we also want to focus on our career.

  • @TRXST.ISSUES
    @TRXST.ISSUES 8 месяцев назад +4

    2 minutes in and yeah this framework totally applies. hard hitting content

  • @armyparrot9353
    @armyparrot9353 22 дня назад

    Very true. The minimum required thing. Without behaviour their word is nothing. At the end of the day it is about being a match: mentally, lifestyle, stage in life, sexually and attraction and financially ( for extreme cases). Another I think to add if there are personality disorders, ADHD, physical impairments) this could impact a lot. My current relationship which is probably ending as we speak was prone with frustration on my side because started catching up in her education and travel to her country while neglecting the quality of the time we had. When I started dating her she was a nurse which is hard enough. After 2 months she told me she was going to study full time while working almost full time. She reduced the hours a little bit but told me she could only pay a small part of the rent which was already less than her place when I met her. I felt hardballed and she told me if I couldn't accept that she would work full time and move out.
    I have felt neglected for 2 years. This week I told her enough when after spending less time sexually she know tells me she does not even like my kinks. Despite saying she loves it. She uses it to hurt me. And I feel I can't trust her anymore.

  • @mikeholstonjr
    @mikeholstonjr 8 месяцев назад +3

    Must be bad, I answered with a negative to every question.

  • @1nicolethebest
    @1nicolethebest 8 месяцев назад +12

    Devine timing

  • @NikkiEdmunds
    @NikkiEdmunds 3 месяца назад +1

    I left my ex boyfriend behind because I honestly felt that we weren’t good for each other. We didn’t take the time to get to know each other. We started the relationship with making music together, a thing we both wanted but along the way, we got romantically involved, a huge mistake. We both had so many things we didn’t seem to resolve. Anyway, eventually I called it quits. Your video is quite enlightening. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work dear.

  • @nivashanram1483
    @nivashanram1483 8 месяцев назад +2

    too many wisdom
    kinda writing down everything she says
    thank you i appreciate it

  • @nicholasroberts4043
    @nicholasroberts4043 8 месяцев назад +2

    I love you Lela! So stoked for You and Alex! I look up to your Relationship with Alex a lot. I thank you both for helping me grow

  • @Clean-N-ShineInDfw
    @Clean-N-ShineInDfw 8 месяцев назад +9

    I appreciate your channel ❤ you've helped me

  • @byluzlayna
    @byluzlayna 8 месяцев назад +12

    Amazingly said Leila, I’d love to see more relationship videos. It’s nothing like I’ve ever heard before. So thankyou

  • @Marshmallow2525-brit
    @Marshmallow2525-brit Месяц назад +1

    Great video and great advice this is really helpful and informative thanks

  • @wge621
    @wge621 3 месяца назад

    Love it! I think this will really help people make sense of their relationships. I think there are a few more important areas however that are person specific. For example, responsibility. So many women are taking care of cooking, cleaning, childcare AND working full time. Spirituality is also pretty important many

  • @IsmaelGomezVieito
    @IsmaelGomezVieito 8 месяцев назад +1

    You're literally saving lives

  • @stephaniel2208
    @stephaniel2208 3 месяца назад

    Wow this was seriously good and so many points I realize was exactly like me. I like how she said it's not just about the person but what do they add to your life. Like I've been on the fence for a while but then realizing what he's done to help improve me and make me a better person and add value to my life makes me question why I'm questioning

  • @LucidLivingYT
    @LucidLivingYT 8 месяцев назад +236

    What person next to me? :(

  • @LauraCochran-sw4fv
    @LauraCochran-sw4fv 7 месяцев назад

    This is brilliant. Thank you Leila I appreciate this video so much and I appreciate you and the wisdom you’ve given here. Cheers and respect to both you and Alex 🩷

  • @TRXST.ISSUES
    @TRXST.ISSUES 8 месяцев назад +12

    Dropping in for another watch, this is one of the most valuable vids I've watched from you to date, and you've released bangers.

  • @lenehjortgrndahl65
    @lenehjortgrndahl65 7 месяцев назад

    A really interesting and helpful perspective. It really got me thinking. I haven't head others talk about something like that.

  • @heart2listen1
    @heart2listen1 7 месяцев назад

    you nailed this so hard.

  • @MooseMannequin
    @MooseMannequin 7 месяцев назад +1

    It's good that there are some women that don't put bullshit into other women heads. I don't know if it's true, but I feel like most women now think their respect should be earned, but I can't care about it less. I respect everyone and the only way from there is down. I maybe have to much of self-respect. So if someone disrespects me, they fall steps down and they will never be able to get up there again. Even if I stay pleasant, my priorities are in other and other's places now. A great point about expectations also, I have insane standarts for myself and others, it's not healthy.

  • @Golden_Queen_888
    @Golden_Queen_888 8 месяцев назад +1

    Honestly, u don’t want to “train” any one anything! If it’s forced it’s fake, it has to be a natural mutual inner feeling of wanting to spend time together & doing stuff together..
    That’s the only indicator that u are actually a true match from the core of ur being..
    I mean people really can be trained, but u really want it to stem from the heart, not conditioning !

  • @stephanievandebunt1035
    @stephanievandebunt1035 8 месяцев назад +1

    Great video, really sat down and thought about the different factors, and it's just solidifying how happy I am in my relationship

  • @carlosoliver1887
    @carlosoliver1887 8 месяцев назад

    I love the volume of your videos, it doesn't kill me with headphones on

  • @ddfelder2
    @ddfelder2 8 месяцев назад +2

    This was unexpected but still golden nonetheless! Definitely gave me a lot to think about… Leila does it again. 🔥💯

  • @andy_ppp
    @andy_ppp 8 месяцев назад +1

    Have you considered running for president, your ability to communicate ideas in a healthy, confident and helpful way is sensational...

  • @cxa011500
    @cxa011500 7 месяцев назад

    I was with a girl who I liked. She made me happy, but she held me back financially.

  • @jennyg6122
    @jennyg6122 8 месяцев назад

    Wow the Value of this video....Thank you so much Leila!✨

  • @Sahaj21
    @Sahaj21 8 месяцев назад +3

    Amazing Video ,Leila

  • @vincevasquez5841
    @vincevasquez5841 8 месяцев назад +2

    Amazing video Leila as always. Thank you for sharing.

  • @brightpage1020
    @brightpage1020 2 месяца назад

    This is so practical. And actionable.
    Before you have children. Do this before kids come along, because after that - the kids’ survival & future is the only important thing. And people stay with folks they have no business being with to strengthen their children’s future rather than risk it. They know it’s bad but they don’t even care because they care more about strengthening their kids towards stabilizing forces rather than enjoying their own life or relationship, goals that feel selfish and vain for parents in the thick of this world.

  • @larsenlaura
    @larsenlaura 8 месяцев назад +2

    This video is everything. Love you girl. Thank you for your videos. You're an inspiration

  • @MsRajmi
    @MsRajmi 8 месяцев назад +1

    I love you Leila ❤ thanks for breaking this concept down for us.

  • @1-love-1-Nation
    @1-love-1-Nation 2 месяца назад

    You are spot on …. Ha ha. I know all this but just needed to hear it ❤❤thank you

  • @user-ti7kc9ux8i
    @user-ti7kc9ux8i 8 месяцев назад +2

    This is amazing. Thank you

  • @oliverbalbuenahernandez43
    @oliverbalbuenahernandez43 7 месяцев назад

    This is very timely! Just the video I needed

  • @secretxasha1844
    @secretxasha1844 8 месяцев назад

    I love your words and the way you think - pure logic ♥️

  • @danli7693
    @danli7693 3 месяца назад

    That’s so true, love you to empower us ❤❤❤

  • @officialcatalinamagee
    @officialcatalinamagee 7 дней назад

    Fuck, this is AMAZING, Leila! Very well done!

  • @Atlien88
    @Atlien88 26 дней назад

    The more effort in career than relationship stems from the fact that we spend majority of our school years training to get a job. We don’t get that kind of coaching for relationships. Some of us didn’t even have model relationships at home to emulate. It’s sad but true. I wish more emphasis and training was provided to people on how to date and find a partner who is a great fit for them.

  • @MadmaxH22A
    @MadmaxH22A 8 месяцев назад +1

    Like your expanding into other things. ❤ the balance of strength and sensitivity 🤗

  • @stardust8989
    @stardust8989 8 месяцев назад +1

    More content like this LEILA 😤

  • @Khaegch-favh
    @Khaegch-favh 8 месяцев назад

    Yep listening to people complain about their relationship when I didn’t date till I felt like I could bring someone value in every category just to end up the single person who has to hear about people’s relationships problems 🤦🏻‍♀️

  • @roseswillbloom7865
    @roseswillbloom7865 2 месяца назад

    Your hair looks soo gorgeous 😍❤️❤️

  • @spowi8187
    @spowi8187 8 месяцев назад +3

    How do you factor in your kids? Much harder to decide because it's a decision that includes more than just yourself

  • @Be_Kind7683
    @Be_Kind7683 6 месяцев назад

    Yes..... Career minded.... I want to make myself availble to work for a company thats not going to throw me away or endanger me. Im tired of being the back up temp.

  • @shirleybender
    @shirleybender 6 месяцев назад +1

    I wish I had watched this 2 YEARS ago. I am guilty of not putting the time or due diligence before jumping into a new relationship.

  • @MarkOttobre
    @MarkOttobre 8 месяцев назад

    This is fantastic Leila - well done

  • @Nora-w9g
    @Nora-w9g 15 дней назад

    very good video! thank you🙏🏼

  • @kiileetsoku2397
    @kiileetsoku2397 6 месяцев назад

    Thank you. Everything here is so valid

  • @estebanlibrandi
    @estebanlibrandi 3 месяца назад

    Simply brilliant!!! Thanks a lot!

  • @mb-sk4tq
    @mb-sk4tq 8 месяцев назад

    This was such a helpful video. However, the title could be broadened to attract a wider audience. Thank you!

  • @Sumire02
    @Sumire02 Месяц назад +1

    Actually if my partner wouldn't help me reach my goals I would rather be single that's why I only look for people who share the same goal

  • @XuanNguyen-nf3bi
    @XuanNguyen-nf3bi 7 месяцев назад

    This is insane, i was absolutely lost and miserable as I got stuck in a relationship with my friends (we’ve been really close friend since secondary school). I stucked because I didn’t know what to do, should I stay or leave, then i accidentally opened youtube and this video came out the first.