The Least Secret Society in America

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  • Опубликовано: 31 окт 2024

Комментарии • 1,6 тыс.

  • @BarstoolSportsTV
    @BarstoolSportsTV  3 года назад +145

    Caleb Pressley investigates what's really going on at the University of Alabama and how a secret society called "The Machine" is rigging who wins the prestigious prize of Homecoming Queen.
    WATCH NEXT: The Strongest Frat in America - ruclips.net/video/DpXzB6P3-HM/видео.html
    SUBSCRIBE: barstool.link/2O23KUH

  • @jeremygil47
    @jeremygil47 4 года назад +5679

    "I'm an Instagram model and I'm really pretty"
    "but you have other qualities, right?"
    "no"
    lol the realness

    • @NavyStoner
      @NavyStoner 4 года назад +25

      was looking for that comment xD

    • @running.yetiii
      @running.yetiii 4 года назад +168

      kinda thought she was joking .. then saw the blank staring eyes ... nuff said

    • @scottiemanners
      @scottiemanners 3 года назад +13

      Lol with fake lips and face, she lost any shot at being pretty, so her entire platform is a lie

    • @stevieoneder8091
      @stevieoneder8091 3 года назад +1

      @@porterethan5550 could you only think of 3 names when making names up for your shitty phishing link?

    • @rohinghosh2685
      @rohinghosh2685 3 года назад +2

      @@stevieoneder8091 good one

  • @heatalldayy
    @heatalldayy 4 года назад +4101

    Has anyone checked up on the guy that said “what are they gonna do?” ???

    • @pranaysaahit21
      @pranaysaahit21 4 года назад +174

      I went to high school with that dude. Pretty sure he’s alive

    • @heatalldayy
      @heatalldayy 4 года назад +361

      Pranay P keep an eye on him, man, the machine might Epstein him.

    • @mcdouche2
      @mcdouche2 4 года назад +287

      He committed suicide. He shot himself in the back of the head two times.

    • @hiropeck7673
      @hiropeck7673 4 года назад +3

      mcdouche2 deadass??

    • @heatalldayy
      @heatalldayy 4 года назад +12

      mcdouche2 was his name Gary Webb???

  • @TheMikeMase
    @TheMikeMase 6 лет назад +7145

    it's so goddamn funny how nervous everyone gets when they start talking about "the machine"

    • @nazzurro
      @nazzurro 5 лет назад +15

      @papes zzz Is she some dethbot that hovers in the sky?

    • @andremaines
      @andremaines 5 лет назад +180

      Bert Kreischer is a scary dude

    • @m1ckyg21
      @m1ckyg21 5 лет назад +64

      @papes zzz lmao, how did you turn an ALABAMA conspiracy into hillary clinton

    • @JordanBoyer69
      @JordanBoyer69 5 лет назад +19

      @@m1ckyg21 Both Clintons went to Yale. Home of the Skull & Bones.

    • @JordanBoyer69
      @JordanBoyer69 5 лет назад +24

      @Jason Street Wait, how did you even get the assumption I was saying trump is any cleaner than the Clintons?
      Anyways there's articles on Bill Clinton, and Trump BOTH being associated with Epstein. They're all cut from the same cloth in my book, but choose whatever you want to believe.

  • @jackburgess9318
    @jackburgess9318 4 года назад +7439

    How in the world does this guy get a meeting with the Secretary of State

    • @joodge9453
      @joodge9453 4 года назад +277

      Jack Burgess but they couldn’t get a meeting with Nick Saban

    • @charlotteeolsen8397
      @charlotteeolsen8397 4 года назад +2

      😂

    • @SolarxPvP
      @SolarxPvP 4 года назад +190

      @@joodge9453 Nick Saban is both busier and more powerful in the state of Alabama.

    • @MrEazyE357
      @MrEazyE357 4 года назад +72

      @@joodge9453 Nick Saban could buy and sell the secretary of state 20x over... probably more. The secretary of the state of Alabama would probably shine Nick Saban's loafers.

    • @danpmatz
      @danpmatz 4 года назад +8

      Does anyone know for sure if that was him probably just a joke

  • @mantistoboggan2599
    @mantistoboggan2599 5 лет назад +4609

    I didn’t know Bert Kreischer had this much pull at the University of Alabama

    • @albeyalbert5937
      @albeyalbert5937 5 лет назад +54

      @Wolfiejr 94 THANK YOU!!🤣🤣😂🤣😂 I was hoping someone would comment this! #IamTHEMACHINE!

    • @junuthun34
      @junuthun34 5 лет назад +3

      perfect hahaha

    • @s.l.9281
      @s.l.9281 5 лет назад +50

      What’s funny is his wife is actually UA alumni lol

    • @DS-sh2lo
      @DS-sh2lo 5 лет назад

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀💀

    • @Penthousepimp10
      @Penthousepimp10 5 лет назад +18

      The Machine has like 4 podcast and runs ALABAMA busy ass dude

  • @JChris-ho4jj
    @JChris-ho4jj 5 лет назад +1748

    Caleb: Why should you be Homecoming Queen??
    Caroline: I just monetized my Instagram.

  • @gibeshrugs6825
    @gibeshrugs6825 6 лет назад +4490

    4 dislikes already, the machine is hard at work

  • @kylemutti2992
    @kylemutti2992 5 лет назад +5428

    Can’t tell if it’s a joke or not and I’m 5 minutes in

  • @loganbradley1367
    @loganbradley1367 5 лет назад +3125

    Lol the machine goes way deeper than homecoming queen too.. they actually run politics and most of the businesses in Alabama once they graduate

    • @BlasterTheMaster
      @BlasterTheMaster 5 лет назад +214

      That’s nuts

    • @I_am_Dad_Son
      @I_am_Dad_Son 5 лет назад +160

      Is it not kind of obvious that's why they'd do all this in the first place?

    • @irshchuculain
      @irshchuculain 5 лет назад +241

      They are all lizard people and have a base on the dark side of the moon.

    • @I_am_Dad_Son
      @I_am_Dad_Son 5 лет назад +221

      @Colin Deal This is an ignorant statement to the fullest. You realize that corruption at a high level leads to the general population being poorer, dumber, and riddled with crime? There's plenty of shithole countries with billionaire businessmen. Statistics that represent Alabama's general population doesn't reflect how well the elite are doing there in any way, shape, or form.

    • @corneliusflake2103
      @corneliusflake2103 5 лет назад +2

      stfu idiot

  • @wesleysmotherman8567
    @wesleysmotherman8567 5 лет назад +3008

    why does the secretary of state know that the homecoming queen vote was on tuesday?

    • @jack633
      @jack633 5 лет назад +175

      good point lol

    • @alek9411
      @alek9411 5 лет назад +655

      A lot of State Politicians in Alabama were in The Machine while they attended UA

    • @GrapeApex
      @GrapeApex 5 лет назад +194

      The current senator of Alabama richard shelby was in it. It also goes back to the days of George Wallace and others too

    • @shawndikner
      @shawndikner 5 лет назад +52

      Pretty sure he had a heads up on what they would be discussing and was told it was about the election. So, he had done research on the election before hand. But, he looked surprised that the rigging was brought up.

    • @wesleysmotherman8567
      @wesleysmotherman8567 5 лет назад +3

      Shawn Ikner valid point

  • @jakehouse7745
    @jakehouse7745 6 лет назад +2598

    This is incredible, caleb is the best person at barstool

    • @duckfuke2997
      @duckfuke2997 6 лет назад +33

      jake house Caleb and Donny are saving the stool

    • @jakehouse7745
      @jakehouse7745 6 лет назад +4

      @@duckfuke2997 100%

    • @TheCrypticDog
      @TheCrypticDog 6 лет назад +3

      Can't agree more. Legendary

    • @p00ner1sm
      @p00ner1sm 6 лет назад

      Duck Fuke - What’s specifically wrong with barstool?

    • @jmac6202
      @jmac6202 5 лет назад +11

      Donnie is def number one Caleb coming in a close second

  • @realduox
    @realduox 4 года назад +2255

    When I went to a bama, A girl dropped transferred to Duke and won President there because the machine wouldn't let her win at Alabama lol

    • @mikeguidry2577
      @mikeguidry2577 4 года назад +60

      I don't believe this. First off a girl that goes to Bama, the 152nd ranked US college, wouldn't have the credentials to get into 10th ranked Duke. Second, the machine is a joke that wants to seem cool/elite. At my undergrad in a southern US state school, that's how it is too to a degree. Everyone votes for the greek candidate that's greek. Not sure why they like to give it a name at Bama. Maybe to make the below average school seem more cool/prestigous, but in all honesty it holds no more power than homecoming queen elections.

    • @obi173
      @obi173 4 года назад +231

      @@mikeguidry2577 lmfao do you even know how college admissions works ? there are other factors that go into choosing a school aside from prestige/rankings. maybe when she was choosing initally she wanted to be closer to home,have a full ride or whatever. just bc she goes to bama doesnt mean shes too stupid for duke

    • @liammccarthy6592
      @liammccarthy6592 4 года назад +9

      @Tom what is the big deal with homecoming queen? I went to a Canadian university and I don't even know if we had one... Can't see anyone actually giving a fuck about something like that.

    • @liammccarthy6592
      @liammccarthy6592 4 года назад +4

      @Tom That's unbelievable. The US post-secondary scene is a complete 180 from the Canadian one.
      From reading the other comments I gathered that it affects more than homecoming queen I was just wondering why that specifically is a big deal to American colleges. Same with fraternities, but I'm also under the impression that certain frats carry immense power as well.

    • @liammccarthy6592
      @liammccarthy6592 4 года назад

      @Tom That is very interesting. Thanks for filling me in. I guess in the end power is the end goal of it all, regardless of what you control.

  • @mowler8042
    @mowler8042 5 лет назад +556

    The machine definitely had control of the banquet low attendance

  • @oldcouchcushion1545
    @oldcouchcushion1545 2 года назад +242

    Caroline is actually fucking hilarious. I refuse to believe she's not playing up the vapidness. Her "I don't eat" was perfect

    • @John-vx9uj
      @John-vx9uj Год назад +1

      She’s not playing it up. I went to bama with her.

    • @V8chump
      @V8chump Год назад

      It says a lot abiotic her that you think she’s putting this on…😅

  • @Jdubya4040
    @Jdubya4040 2 года назад +317

    Crazy how a guy like Caleb busted this wide open years ago and now HBO is like “I think we’ve got something here”

    • @mrwoody1413
      @mrwoody1413 Год назад +1

      What is HBO doing?

    • @toprope_
      @toprope_ Год назад +6

      @@mrwoody1413 he’s joking that caleb is ripping off the channel 5 andrew dude since they just got an HBO special and caleb is doing barstool vids

    • @sophia22223
      @sophia22223 Год назад +2

      @@mrwoody1413 theres rumors that HBO Max is sending like people with wires to get info on the machine and greek life

  • @551223
    @551223 4 года назад +1006

    This is actually really creepy and intriguing at the same time. I would love someone to go undercover and discover more truths about it

    • @wuido
      @wuido 4 года назад +41

      551223 the machine won’t allow it

    • @jiveassturkey8849
      @jiveassturkey8849 2 года назад +30

      They tried, poor guy has been missing since 2013.

    • @Kage777
      @Kage777 2 года назад

      @@jiveassturkey8849 actually?

    • @ravneetsingh22
      @ravneetsingh22 2 года назад

      @@Kage777 yes it does exist

    • @jiveassturkey8849
      @jiveassturkey8849 2 года назад +8

      P Come on now, you couldn’t tell this whole thing is fake? There is no Machine, all of the people in this were in on the video.

  • @brycemclaughlin2935
    @brycemclaughlin2935 5 лет назад +607

    Literally anything with Caleb and sad music in the background is hilarious

  • @tailgatetails
    @tailgatetails 5 лет назад +412

    That secretary of state was digging himself a hole pretty rapidly

  • @chrislowicki7233
    @chrislowicki7233 5 лет назад +839

    My girlfriend was in Pi Phi at Bama last year and she said that The Machine is 100% real and legitimate.

  • @AMUHighlights
    @AMUHighlights 5 лет назад +324

    “Thank you for being out here”
    “You guys here about the machine”
    “The band?”

  • @Nickerooster
    @Nickerooster 6 лет назад +603

    Was hoping he was gonna give himself homecoming queen. He deserves it

  • @brendandevlin6022
    @brendandevlin6022 5 лет назад +335

    “I infiltrated a real life fraternity” 😭

  • @pizzamasterf5
    @pizzamasterf5 6 лет назад +996

    This guy could be the next Nathan for you for barstool

    • @RyanD808
      @RyanD808 6 лет назад +5

      robertjames12 the Next Nathan for you since that show is over

    • @jmac6202
      @jmac6202 5 лет назад +34

      Such a great show it sucks its over

    • @nessh7589
      @nessh7589 5 лет назад +19

      The episode where his suit gets bigger and bigger...freaking gold

    • @fatantobelly9156
      @fatantobelly9156 5 лет назад +1

      Ness H that show was the best. Wish it was still on

    • @scumtardprime1838
      @scumtardprime1838 5 лет назад

      Could be? More like has been... Oh, & not in the bad way!

  • @jaimedelgado7529
    @jaimedelgado7529 5 лет назад +705

    "I dont eat"
    - istagram model with 100k followers who is really pretty

    • @ApeSheet387
      @ApeSheet387 5 лет назад +51

      Those arms say otherwise

    • @taylorl6808
      @taylorl6808 5 лет назад +55

      75% chance she ends up on CollegeGirlsDoPorn

    • @ketchupking9972
      @ketchupking9972 5 лет назад +12

      @@taylorl6808 100% chance shes not a virgin, so the trash is the same either way - no hymen = no diamond.

    • @bobbishmax62
      @bobbishmax62 4 года назад +21

      @@ketchupking9972 what? and why have people liked this comment?

  • @cwb1130
    @cwb1130 5 лет назад +799

    This is so dumb its amazing. Also interesting to leave out that John Merrill was one of the handful of independents to beat the machine for SGA President way back in 1986

  • @jasonmuresan8998
    @jasonmuresan8998 5 лет назад +208

    It’s no secret, they literally know exactly what group it is lol

    • @Astrohhh
      @Astrohhh 2 года назад +1

      ... that's why the title of the video says "least" secret society lol

  • @jaybells7772
    @jaybells7772 5 лет назад +2661

    "So I'm an Instagram model and have like 100k followers and really pretty and stuff so I think I'd be good at it"..... Jesus christ

    • @madstv1274
      @madstv1274 5 лет назад +85

      “Ill sign”

    • @seang8961
      @seang8961 5 лет назад +131

      "but you have other stuff?"
      "no"

    • @sawyerfrench2946
      @sawyerfrench2946 5 лет назад +84

      “I don’t eat”

    • @logandihel
      @logandihel 5 лет назад +36

      I would vote against her. Shouldn't the queen be somebody girls aspire to be? Not just someone with a insta following

    • @threeidiots54
      @threeidiots54 5 лет назад +144

      It’s a joke. Satire. She’s doing it on purpose

  • @Spachia
    @Spachia 5 лет назад +568

    Alabama isn’t the only university that has this sort of extrafraternal society.

    • @DS-sh2lo
      @DS-sh2lo 5 лет назад +2

      This

    • @DS-sh2lo
      @DS-sh2lo 5 лет назад +3

      @DeWayne Phillips I just agreed with the comment bro

    • @MultiSmartass1
      @MultiSmartass1 4 года назад +60

      That's true but secret societies at other colleges and universities are usually interested in keeping to themselves and just networking . The machine at UA is basically different in that it's tentacles spread through the frat system and are largely about the University political system. It's a campus dominant system though behind the scenes.

    • @MultiSmartass1
      @MultiSmartass1 4 года назад +8

      @DeWayne Phillips That's what I hear. Basically, it's training ground for future Alabama politicians and business leaders.

    • @MultiSmartass1
      @MultiSmartass1 4 года назад

      @DeWayne Phillips True but I did mention business as well.

  • @jonathanmartin726
    @jonathanmartin726 6 лет назад +230

    I ain’t fallin for no banana in the tailpipe.

    • @jessiemartin8199
      @jessiemartin8199 6 лет назад +10

      Lmao most poeple pop the hood, he checks the pipes first.

  • @Bellaexe5091
    @Bellaexe5091 4 года назад +414

    As much of a joke as this is, it’s definitely weird that they’re rigging it each time.

  • @lmt6187
    @lmt6187 6 лет назад +328

    Lmfao "No, I don't eat"

  • @ethanburnell1985
    @ethanburnell1985 4 года назад +49

    I was laughing my ass off, then he said, "I scheduled a meeting with the secretary of state" and I pissed my pants laughing. Then he got an IG model involved and goddamn best video ever.

  • @orangecoast5325
    @orangecoast5325 6 лет назад +205

    Haven't cried this hard in years. Someone help those girls

    • @mattmorrison1408
      @mattmorrison1408 6 лет назад +66

      yea ill help em hop on these nuts

    • @jeremym5331
      @jeremym5331 4 года назад +3

      matt morrison up top bro good one

  • @fredsanford3629
    @fredsanford3629 4 года назад +83

    The Politician was part of the Machine listen to his choice of words!

    • @twangerzonly
      @twangerzonly 2 года назад

      He actually wasn't, and in fact he is one of the few to win the election against The Machine backed candidate.

  • @Robbbyyyyy
    @Robbbyyyyy 6 лет назад +334

    Hopefully one day you'll replace Chris Hansen.. "I'm Caleb Pressley with Dateline NBC, why don't you have a seat."

    • @averagejoetube2707
      @averagejoetube2707 5 лет назад +4

      LeBron James good luck. The machine extends well beyond college. The machine will not expose itself

    • @billhart3728
      @billhart3728 4 года назад +1

      But wearing a giant suit and a clip on tie

  • @poolhall9632
    @poolhall9632 Год назад +31

    This is true at every university.
    I wrote an op Ed in the Red and Black while I was at the University of Georgia specifically pointing out the fact that a majority of students don’t care about SGA & the elections- only the Greeks. Most student popularity awards are just extensions of their privilege.
    I actually know a former Alabama homecoming queen - MaryMac -
    I should ask her about it.

  • @helsinki
    @helsinki 5 лет назад +1784

    A secret society in Alabama. Are the members all cousins?

  • @BeUpAbohvit
    @BeUpAbohvit Год назад +57

    I "infiltrated" a sorority by immediately bombarding them with repetitive questions about a specific topic. No one was the wiser 😂

  • @herschelsandcastle624
    @herschelsandcastle624 6 лет назад +90

    Even this pledge knew about the machine

  • @nickdorsey8912
    @nickdorsey8912 5 лет назад +105

    This is hilarious I can’t believe that this organization exists at the University of Alabama. I just think this whole production was so well done. Kudos to everyone who worked on this especially the main guy and the girl their dynamic was hilarious. Can’t stop laughing.

    • @SargNickFury
      @SargNickFury 2 года назад +2

      It extends beyond Alabama....

    • @dougtheviking6503
      @dougtheviking6503 Год назад

      Goes all the way to Washington D.C.

    • @virific76
      @virific76 11 месяцев назад

      @@SargNickFuryno, the machine only exists at alabama, some other schools have similar smaller organizations but the group is only at alabama

    • @SargNickFury
      @SargNickFury 11 месяцев назад

      @@virific76 What I mean is their influence. They Machine has messed around with other schools, in many ways, particularly everyone they play year to year in the SEC. TNE may only be at Alabama, but they influence/bribe and generally exploit every one tehy can in the sec.

  • @anagatto66
    @anagatto66 4 года назад +71

    “i invited everyone i knew” 5 people

  • @redsox258
    @redsox258 5 лет назад +91

    I'm an instagram model, and, idk, i just, like, think im really pretty and stuff. I should win homecomign queen!!

  • @thomasfisher1829
    @thomasfisher1829 5 лет назад +132

    lol man, I'm not sure you could get Caroline elected homecoming queen even if the machine backed her XD

  • @jcreed09
    @jcreed09 4 года назад +167

    What is it with Southerners and their Secret Societies?!

    • @MrKent814
      @MrKent814 4 года назад +55

      Jon Creed where else are they supposed to be racist?

    • @lglettuce2284
      @lglettuce2284 4 года назад +8

      Kent Williams kkk

    • @jcreed09
      @jcreed09 4 года назад +33

      Ok, so now we have "The Machine" in Alabama added to the list. Ku Klux Klan, Knights of the White Camelia, the Night Riders, Vigilance Committees, League of the South, White Knights, White League, The Golden Circle, The 10, Secret Empire, Southern Cross, Brotherhood of whatever, ad nauseam. I wouldn't be surprised if the Legion of Doom or HYDRA were actually formed in the South.

    • @Imabeatyouman
      @Imabeatyouman 4 года назад +3

      Jon Creed secret societies exist everywhere. Wherever there is information power or money societies form to protect it

    • @adamsapple7193
      @adamsapple7193 4 года назад +6

      Uhhhh Yale, Princeton, Harvard on and on and on...

  • @winstonsmith3244
    @winstonsmith3244 4 года назад +48

    “I slid into your DMs, in a good way!”

  • @konkeydonged
    @konkeydonged 4 года назад +309

    Somehow that was my first time seeing someone with a southern accent and a Dragon Ball Z shirt.

    • @mathieumansire372
      @mathieumansire372 4 года назад +12

      he is a weebneck

    • @tylerwilson7385
      @tylerwilson7385 4 года назад +2

      Come to Florida bro lol

    • @hargle242
      @hargle242 4 года назад +1

      @@tylerwilson7385 deadass people love dragon ball in florida bruh

  • @morganshull9441
    @morganshull9441 5 лет назад +638

    Is this a joke? I really can’t tell. Either way this is gold

    • @canadiandrumer
      @canadiandrumer 5 лет назад +81

      nah that's what makes it even more funny

    • @thefilmeffect6089
      @thefilmeffect6089 5 лет назад +87

      I thought the same thing, so I did a search and they have a Wikipedia page and other articles on them. This video is basically taking something real and turning it into something funny. From the quick search I did, The Machine is/was a real all white secret society that influenced politics in the university and the state. The group was started in 1888 and they were also referred to as the crimson white.

    • @matthewhenington8139
      @matthewhenington8139 5 лет назад +10

      It apparently is not a joke

    • @annakaraski9171
      @annakaraski9171 5 лет назад +1

      Nope

    • @rickyrougs
      @rickyrougs 4 года назад +20

      @æthalstan eagle eye I feel like a lot of universities are run by greek life in some fashion but the way some of the students talk about it at alabama is scary

  • @RileyFreeman8
    @RileyFreeman8 5 лет назад +36

    This would have been a perfect video for the giant suit

  • @abg125
    @abg125 6 лет назад +181

    I thought this was about Bert Kriescher

  • @kieranpotts3527
    @kieranpotts3527 5 лет назад +23

    Finally a news source I can trust and believe to bring me important information

  • @MatthewAndrewDrake
    @MatthewAndrewDrake 2 года назад +12

    “I’m a business major”
    “SEE. She deserves a shot!” 😂

  • @bdcopp
    @bdcopp 5 лет назад +384

    Watching this from the UK I can't tell if this is satire.

    • @Rosebud0801
      @Rosebud0801 5 лет назад +168

      It isn’t, it’s a real thing on our campus that everyone is aware of, my house was pushed to vote for a candidate in another sorority

    • @christopherwilcox9654
      @christopherwilcox9654 5 лет назад +13

      it's cute and funny here but it happens in state governments in many parts of America.

    • @rjgomm1852
      @rjgomm1852 5 лет назад +5

      J War ever heard of a little thing I like to call The Illuminati?

    • @micspaffymillard719
      @micspaffymillard719 5 лет назад +29

      @@Rosebud0801 I think what he's saying is that coming from the UK this seems like satire because of how serious the greek life stuff is that it almost seems comedic.

    • @Rosebud0801
      @Rosebud0801 5 лет назад +7

      Mic Spaffy Millard true, our school takes it waaayy too seriously, my house starts preparing for recruitment 9 months in advance lmao

  • @RangersGirlJackie99
    @RangersGirlJackie99 4 года назад +31

    Dude's asking the Alabama Secretary of State questions about "The Machine" as if John Merrill wasn't the president of the University of Alabama's SGA in 1986-87 😂😂😂 you're talking to it, son!

    • @DL-fl5ul
      @DL-fl5ul 26 дней назад

      This doesn't make sense. If you look at the Senate and House of Reps, almost all of them were in greek life and were student council president at their colleges. Not sure why Alabama tries to make it seem they are special. LSU, Ole Miss, UGA, OU, UT all do this.

  • @TheCrookedWheel
    @TheCrookedWheel 5 лет назад +289

    That insta model is just a lot of a boring person.

  • @Nathanfx2006
    @Nathanfx2006 4 года назад +21

    At the end when he gave the independent homecoming Queen to someone other than his candidate I lost it 😂

  • @aaronh7412
    @aaronh7412 5 лет назад +241

    Think "The Machine" has anything to do with football recruiting??

    • @maxtaylor12
      @maxtaylor12 5 лет назад +111

      stop asking questions before they get you

    • @pacenrdizzy
      @pacenrdizzy 5 лет назад +2

      No

    • @thato596
      @thato596 5 лет назад +4

      Yeah I think so

    • @justarandominternetdude2579
      @justarandominternetdude2579 4 года назад +9

      Prob, gotta show the recruits a good time on campus.

    • @rickyrangel5038
      @rickyrangel5038 4 года назад +5

      Aaron H does anyone know if this man is still alive ?? I think the machine might have got to him

  • @babyz7750
    @babyz7750 5 лет назад +71

    “I poured myself a glass of the Hi-C that I had requested” 14:40 yeah I can’t take this guy seriously Lol

    • @MrEazyE357
      @MrEazyE357 4 года назад +5

      You know you're not supposed to take him seriously, right? Are you slow?

  • @FumblsTheSniper
    @FumblsTheSniper Год назад +106

    The Dragonball guy walked out into the world for the first time in years and was immediately asked about the very thing that drove him to seclusion. He knew then it was divine providence which had given him the strength to make it so far against so great of odds.

    • @ioiwut4874
      @ioiwut4874 Год назад +3

      dude fresh outta the hyperbolic-timechamber, ready to go

  • @littletucktruckin1171
    @littletucktruckin1171 6 лет назад +141

    As a Alabama fan this is pure gold! Caleb is the best lol

  • @dominiccuevas9699
    @dominiccuevas9699 6 лет назад +84

    “The machine...... ... .. what is it..”

  • @hudsonr.743
    @hudsonr.743 5 лет назад +25

    "And 24 hours with caroline"
    This line absolutely made the video

  • @cooolbeeeans
    @cooolbeeeans 6 лет назад +13

    Best thing i've watched since first season of American Vandal. This is GOLD for Barstool

  • @noahlowery1967
    @noahlowery1967 5 лет назад +37

    Alabama is like real life. The machine is real. And it all stems from “Fraternities” and Secret Society

  • @thlee3
    @thlee3 5 лет назад +53

    "i slid in your DM's .... in a good way"

  • @Lightningkuriboh
    @Lightningkuriboh 4 года назад +22

    Imagine having so much secrecy and complexity for things that absolutely do not matter

    • @brooksdanielgary
      @brooksdanielgary 4 года назад +6

      It probably doesn't stop at homecoming tho. If Saban is that scared to talk about it, it probably goes to the boosters and state leadership.

  • @RyanD808
    @RyanD808 6 лет назад +47

    Best video Barstool has ever made

  • @greggallen7381
    @greggallen7381 5 лет назад +158

    Caroline prob can’t even scramble eggs

    • @netavoreikalas4757
      @netavoreikalas4757 5 лет назад +30

      Probably not but her 100k followers are scrambling their own eggs to her

  • @markkmemorabilia
    @markkmemorabilia 6 лет назад +70

    Caleb has been missing since

  • @investorbettor505
    @investorbettor505 Год назад +48

    My university had the same thing. Taught me a lot about the world. Probably more than I learned in class

    • @jonhohensee3258
      @jonhohensee3258 Год назад +1

      sure you did

    • @investorbettor505
      @investorbettor505 Год назад +2

      @@jonhohensee3258 SEC Greek life is a microcosm of us politics imo lol

    • @jonhohensee3258
      @jonhohensee3258 Год назад +1

      @@investorbettor505 HA HA HA HAaaa... ha ha... ha ha.... SO SUPER funny... and stuff

    • @jonhohensee3258
      @jonhohensee3258 Год назад

      @@LordBelakor closed of ???

  • @ndyjbswglftxtix8589
    @ndyjbswglftxtix8589 4 года назад +49

    Why is this like signing the Declaration of Independence and risking getting caught for treason against the Machine? 😳

  • @supermoneyball420
    @supermoneyball420 4 года назад +13

    The Machine 100% had a sniper on Saban for that whole homecoming speech

  • @LippytheLipRipper
    @LippytheLipRipper 6 лет назад +36

    Caroline runs away from that car like she has 5 followers

  • @michaelaneser2066
    @michaelaneser2066 5 лет назад +9

    caleb deserves a raise after this one, beautiful stuff here

  • @Mackathne
    @Mackathne 5 лет назад +37

    Almost like Skull and Bones at Yale.

    • @sebastianmolina344
      @sebastianmolina344 5 лет назад +4

      shhhh

    • @mikeguidry2577
      @mikeguidry2577 4 года назад +5

      Nothing like skull and Bones at Yale. Yale grads run the US. Bama grads run the greater Tuscaloosa metropolitan.

  • @ShortHandedNow
    @ShortHandedNow 5 лет назад +12

    Giving the Onion a run for its money! Had me in stitches.

  • @kkjjncxg6912
    @kkjjncxg6912 6 лет назад +40

    This was absolutely gold. Well done Caleb

  • @koreyjeffries9504
    @koreyjeffries9504 5 лет назад +25

    Caleb literally has a list of all names who have defied "The Machine". I hope the list doesn't get into the wrong hands.

  • @ZacH-wv7jd
    @ZacH-wv7jd 6 лет назад +45

    Caleb, this is incredible.

  • @aidenmoussette
    @aidenmoussette 4 года назад +9

    Bro that one dude at the frat who’s eyes were darting everywhere was obviously in the Machine lmao

  • @toogee1850
    @toogee1850 4 года назад +9

    "So I let my hair down to let them know that I'm a cool dude who didn't mind if they cussed" ...Lol, this guy and Donnie are the greatest part of Bartstool hands fucking down.

  • @Ranwright
    @Ranwright 4 года назад +13

    My sister goes to alabama, the machine is real when it comes to picking a homecoming queen. Her friend ran for homecoming queen and word spread fast that sororities pre pick the homecoming queens based on whos in the sorority that they choose to make all the girls vote for. Its real.

    • @mikeguidry2577
      @mikeguidry2577 4 года назад +2

      Such important stuff, like who's gonna be homecoming queen

  • @batmanandrobin250
    @batmanandrobin250 5 лет назад +173

    Fr wtf was Saban talking about

    • @5lanediver
      @5lanediver 5 лет назад +30

      if not the machine perhaps the tv companies for having them play early games

    • @yellowhammer4747
      @yellowhammer4747 5 лет назад +4

      THE MACHINE!

    • @SomeJustice19k
      @SomeJustice19k 5 лет назад +9

      The Machine.... did you not watch the video?

    • @lijahpinto780
      @lijahpinto780 4 года назад +10

      Machine rigs SGA and SGA decides who gets reserved seating for the best sections in the stadium so students without connections to Greek organizations or a select few honors societies have to fight for what’s left and this results in less overall student attendance. This also creates a segregated environment for students that takes away from the experience of actually gathering as a student body to watch the football team play. This isn’t the only reason for low attendance as they showed when they interviewed random students but it definitely adds to the problem. The machine has also been guilty of maintaining a number of racist policies within the Greek system and student government and has committed hate crimes and used intimidation tactics on multiple occasions in the past

    • @MrEazyE357
      @MrEazyE357 4 года назад

      @@lijahpinto780 In Alabama? No way 😆

  • @icyrhodes2738
    @icyrhodes2738 5 лет назад +35

    If this isnt a joke its kinda scary, some of these people will run for actual political office in the future

    • @johnjacob3160
      @johnjacob3160 5 лет назад +16

      I mean its exactly like the political system is today... just college scale

    • @charliestubbs6151
      @charliestubbs6151 2 года назад

      @@johnjacob3160 the political system has been like this since the beginning. founding fathers were secret society members

  • @lucuix9901
    @lucuix9901 6 лет назад +28

    Caleb is a national treasure.

  • @vampeilo
    @vampeilo 5 лет назад +9

    She straight said “ I don’t eat” lol

  • @Sammy-ro6ny
    @Sammy-ro6ny 3 года назад +6

    10:32 “Wait, can I sign your petition?” “Thank you for being out here”
    “You’re welcome! So, you guys ever heard about the machine?”
    “Uhhh you mean like the band?”
    Bruh had no idea what he was signing 😂😂😂

  • @Y0uN00b3r123
    @Y0uN00b3r123 5 лет назад +7

    _"what are they gonna do?"_
    *YOU HAVE DIED.*

  • @RCJH2022
    @RCJH2022 5 лет назад +11

    You mean a student group that is organized together has more influence than individual students on their own? I'm SHOCKED.

    • @RCJH2022
      @RCJH2022 5 лет назад

      1Pangaea Republic 😂😂😂 I haven’t heard someone say that since I was 17. That’s just what the jealous loser kids say to to other kids who are having more fun to try and make themselves feel better.

  • @b-ran7024
    @b-ran7024 2 года назад +31

    This is hilarious, but is actually also damn good journalism. Great piece

  • @tylerklein7284
    @tylerklein7284 5 лет назад +5

    When he's talking directly to the banquet servers is fuckin hilarious.

  • @tinman5496
    @tinman5496 4 года назад +1

    The “fuck you “ on the bread 🤣😂🤣😂

    • @MrJLiles14
      @MrJLiles14 4 года назад

      Lmaooo the bananas and the backwards shirt too 😂

  • @noahkantor5054
    @noahkantor5054 4 года назад +28

    So the machine has a wiki article so it’s def real guys lol

  • @uptempo5318
    @uptempo5318 4 года назад +26

    I swear this guy can make the stupidest things actually interesting 😆 good on ya Caleb! 😂

  • @SticksAandstonesBozo
    @SticksAandstonesBozo 5 лет назад +14

    Damn .... Michael Moore looking wild in 2019.

  • @themonopolyguy8126
    @themonopolyguy8126 5 лет назад +12

    That Secretary of Corruption sounded just like every other politician

  • @ToastedPear
    @ToastedPear 6 лет назад +29

    We need a documentary about a conspiracy theory hosted by Caleb, Rone, and Vibs

  • @tristenhartney9674
    @tristenhartney9674 4 года назад +1

    Katie was probably watching this super pissed off hahahaha

  • @marypenebaker898
    @marypenebaker898 Год назад +16

    I was watching the ladies do their Greek dances and the marching bands enter University football fields recently. What I noticed and even spoke to my husband about coincidentally was that even though a football coach for a school like Alabama is the highest paid civil servant in the state and that sometimes makes more than the dean, I would be too terrified to get out of my car in the neighborhood that they were filming that these bands and people were walking through before they entered that Alabama stadium. You might win a bunch of football games but I've yet to hear of a a president or a genius of any science ever graduate from that University

  • @conservat1vepatr1ot
    @conservat1vepatr1ot 3 года назад

    That “FUCK YOU” on the your toast was absolutely hilarious.