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Staying Together After Cheating | Couples Can Survive Infidelity
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- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
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In this video, I'm going to provide you with reasons why it's sometimes important for couples to consider staying together even after cheating has occurred.
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The Happily Committed project was created to help couples stay together and create the relationship that they want. The grass is not always greener. What I've learned over the years in helping couples get back together after a breakup or separation because of infidelity is oftentimes their love is renewed, strengthened and the love is much deeper than it was before.
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How To Cope And Heal After Infidelity
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Hi I need your help, my wife cheated on me I am not sure if my wife is remorseful, but yet she says she wants to make our marriage work. In my mind I want to give it a second chance my heart still loves her. I caught her with the guy coming out from his house.
I am so confused right now, I trusted my wife so much.
This was great, thanks, I been tryin to find out about "repair marriage after infidelity" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (search on google ) ? Ive heard some decent things about it and my buddy got amazing success with it.
Just wonderful, I have been researching "how to make it work after he cheated" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a search on google ) ? Ive heard some amazing things about it and my friend got great results with it.
Many thanks, I have been researching "marriage recovery after an affair" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (just google it ) ? Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my work buddy got cool results with it.
This is just superb, I've been looking for "how to mend a relationship after infidelity" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my co-worker got excellent success with it.
never thought I'd see myself searching this up yet again
Anyone that has cheated had multiple times when the thought that they shouldn’t be doing it popped into their head and they still did it. It’s not a single decision. It’s a constant string of not making the right decision.
There's always observers shouting "you are worth more". And it's like "what if I love them? What if I don't want to start afresh?"
Maybe stick around and find out
Absolutely right. Only stay if you can fully consider the right reasons to. Including but not limited to them being accountable. I’m currently in a relationship where I have been cheated on in the beginning and he has since and still is 110% patient, understanding and accountable for what happened. He’s made changes for not just me but us. Going to therapy and healing from what made the person cheat is important too! Always remember cheating is most likely the reaction of someone that isn’t healed. It’s not your fault
May I ask what kind of therapy he seeked? I am in a similar position... I betrayed the woman I love and I am in need of help... After watching some videos I do feel I am on the right path, I just need a bit more help and guidance. What kind of therapist should I be seeking? Any books that you could recommend perhaps? Thank you greatly in advance.
I recommend the 7 principles for making marriage work & seek a therapist that best connects with you. For me I needed a therapist that specialized in trauma and so did my partner. We are also doing couples therapy on top of doing individual therapy.
thank you for posting this comment i really needed to see it, working through the same thing
I’m the one who cheated and I’ll live with it the rest of my life. I told her everything two days ago. Should I send her this video or would that be selfish of me.
@@bobfrankfurt9449 any good tips?
Once broken can never be the same again
A broken mirror put back together still has plenty of cracks.
Anyone who consciously cheats on you, takes the necessary steps to hide it, book a hotel room, check in, and put on a condom knows every step of the way _exactly_ what they're doing.
You can decide for yourself if that's someone you want to invest any more time and emotion 'healing ' with, or if it would better to spend the same resources healing yourself and finding the person who deserves your love and your loyalty.
Cheating isn’t a mistake, it’s a choice. A bad choice.
mistake (n.) an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong
For 15 minutes pressure, ruining whatever was built as a deep, strong relationship. For 15 minutes pleasure, you destroy someone's life forever.... I am not the same person anymore and I won't be.....
Simple as that, if you don't want to be with them better break up, then cheat....
The pain of the breaking up is way less than the pain and the mark left from the cheating
Can’t have choices without one being a mistake.
It was no mistake and not an accident. It wasn’t an evil decision. It was a decision to do an evil thing. No consideration for the spouse. Intentionally inflicted wound. An international decision that could cause fatalities. Purely evil intent. These intentional decisions don’t come from someone in love with you. Do not try to”rebuild” because it never was and there is nothing to build on. The Bible even suggests divorce in the case of adultery. Hell no.
@@jasmainjasmain2906 Cheating is a bad choice 100% of the time. It’s the one choice where you know it’s a bad choice every single time. Cheaters cheat because they don’t think it’s a mistake or a bad choice.
Thks for this video. My heart it's really in pain after being cheated am trying my best to give back him my trust but it's really hard for me. Becoz I can't forget it
The level i understand you on is unreal. The saddest thing is times he blames me... or times he feels he doesn’t need to make anything better or make me feel safe. My heart is in pieces its been a year since he cheated and in that year he done more cheating with others flirting, calling women, and his forcing me to get married by next month or he will leave. But i still dnt trust him and he doesnt understand
Nadia Begum dont marry that man.
He blames for his cheating.. It's been 14 years he hid everything.. Then he told me without any remorse or guilt.. He is still the same.. I am stuck because of kids and he is the only man in my life. I so lost.. He hates me.
You shouldn’t forget it by any means but if you choose to forgive do it after you get your self respect in line a lot of folks don’t give themselves the time to heal
Racheal Nansubuga the hardest part is to not think about it
My heart felt easier after watching this. I have no idea if I’ll go back to her but this made me feel like the world hasn’t stopped. It made me feel in control again
Wait until it hits you again in few coming years memories don't fade
I've witnessed my partner be authentic, and honest before. I know she can earn my trust back. I have no doubt, however I want to see how much I mean to her and what she is willing to do to heal and unite with me. I want to be united with her, she had to go through her issues. I understand deeply. Deep down she is a wonderful person, and just got caught up in a bad crowd of people. We all go through it. I am ready to start a new chapter with her on the right foot together
Curious, how have things gone?
He was the bestest boyfriend ever…He wasn't toxic he did everything to make me happy and loved me very much. That's what makes it 10 times worst..he was ả perfect green flag for me but what i did was so worst..i made mistakes several times in 3 years of our relationship…hể forgive me every time…but I always took advantage of his kindness😔..Even if we break up, I will not be able to accept that the boy is not in my life now…This regret and guilt is killing me..
I cheated on my boyfriend who was amazing as a partner.It's hard to let someone go that you perceived as your future.🙂..I apologized countless times and told him how I feel about him but. It wasn't enough and no matter how many times I say sorry..because it was not a small mistake though..I made a million mistakes and I threw away a loyal boy who always there for me no matter what situation was..That boy loved my parents more than me..he always tells me to fulfil my parents dream..he motivates me always ..but I know i am the worst girl ..He always gave his 100% in this relationship…
At the moment I simply wish I'd just not cheated or taken my boy for granted.💔…
I guess this might be a successful reconciliation story. My parents have been married since 1996 but for the longest, I thought I had the ideal, perfect family. We're 3 daughters, me and my two twin sisters. Then last year I stumbled upon dad's old and dusty, abandoned private journal in the basement and I wished I had never read it. They cheated on each other.
First mom gets caught in the act with dad's then best friend in his house, on his couch. The journal stated she was on top of his friend. Dad punches the hell out of his friend and calls her bad words. Obviously she gets dumped first but then they worked it out, mom buys him a new couch, helps in the moving out process, etc. Then by 2000 (they're married by then and I'm just 2 years old), dad cheats back in revenge but he confesses. They worked that out too; he was forgiven immediately..she went lenient on him...I'm going to assume it must be out of guilt and because she was forgiven, she couldn't be a hypocrite. No one knows (not even his nor her parents, not a single soul) about what happened except their counselors they went to at the time...then off course me who read the journal. My twin sisters are ignorant of this detail. I haven't told anyone I read his journal.
If I had never read the journal, I wouldve never suspected of anything happening between them. It still shocked me reading those details.
Even though it wasn't physical, it still hurts me to my core. I was engaged and moved out. That was a year ago this month. He has apologized and working very hard to rebuild the trust. I'm still struggling to fully let go and move on. Some days I don't think about it and other days I just want to scream. I'm already a high anxiety person and trying to let go is very difficult. Now I feel like I'm going to war with myself. I just want to be able to forgive and move on with him. Trying to see if it's even worth it now?
**He said he wanted to make the relationship work. I had finally let go of what happened...but unfortunately, he met someone and decided to move on. He never told me until I found out he moved her into his home a month after meeting her. I have no regrets about trying to make the relationship work even with the aftermath.
@@tatattaylor so sorry. How are you feeling? It's great that you don't feel any regret for trying. At least you know you did all you could and never have to look back and wonder. How did you manage to let go? I'm struggling to forget....
@DDD I remind myself that, I've already given so much of myself to someone and it didn't work. I accepted someone who lied constantly, cheated, and simply didn't consider my feelings. I will not give him any more of me. I changed my number and said enough. Plus, this world is filled with so many amazing people I can meet. I want to thrive now - not struggle to move on.
Exactly going through the same thing
I’m in the same boat 😕
What’s worst is that you didn’t trust them already and saw the warning signs and you were proving right. Gonna be a tough few months for me that’s for sure
In my opinion, it depends on the overall quality of the relationship. And if the other person has shown signs that he can not change, AND ESPECIALLY if the experience traumatized you, DO NOT try just because others will tell you you didn't try for it or to show "modern". ON THE OTHER HAND if you still wanna try, if you feel like it can work and if the other person wants to make it up to you DO NOT BREAK UP because society tells you that you have to.
Society shouldn’t tell you that you should dump a cheater. The cheater let you know that by cheating you. It’s laughing material to the cheater if you decide to forgive them and remain. You’re basically telling the cheater to do a better job hiding the cheating; they most certainly will.
ONLY If both parties are willing to take accountability. When one person tries to rebuild the relationship, & the other one doesn't, then it's useless to stay together. Especially when children are involved, it's difficult to.
I can’t believe I had to search this smh. Married for 5 years & he betrayed me 🥺 he’s apologetic but he knows the trust won’t be there overnight. I’m still on the fence if I even want to stay with him anymore…
Don’t put yourself in predicaments where things like this can happen. I remember years back I cheated on this special woman who I did love at the time but made bad choices with getting drunk at a party & one thing lead to another. After the fact I felt so dirty inside & was immediately ashamed of myself. One of the hardest things if you have a conscious is that you can’t hide it from you’re lover & it hurts so badly that it gets to the point that you have to confess it. The hardest part is telling that person & crushing their heart. They are never the same after that & even though we have been together for 20 years it still hurts bc I love this person 😢 if I could take it all back I would it wasn’t worth it…
U are spot on
same here
My bf cheated on me with his ex gf , and It’s been like four months. He says he regrets it but it’s so hard to move on…
@@michelleroman2552 I know it is
@@Ur2ez4me81 reading your comment, and seeing him in your shoes, Idk what to do… how did your wife get over it?
People tend to say that whoever does it once will do it again. But its completely unfair and it is absolutely a lie.
But people have a tendency to generalize. And this is horrible for couples who have gone through many challenges and want to be together. So don't give up hope. If there is dedication, recognition and true love, everything is possible. Do not listen to negative people with phrases made. Each couple is different. Be happy
Thanks bro this gave me hope
This gave a hope 🙂
Whoever does it twice can do it again?
As you can see from the comments "this gives me hope". Yet the glass is broken. Yes, couples can survive but at great cost for the one cheated on.
Uhmm sure they can change, but I aint gonna be the lab rat to test if they actually change
I never heard him say he was sorry or take accountability. I guess that's my answer. Thank you for helping my heart to heal a little
Thank you for this. It's been a few months and sometimes I feel weak for not being able to fully let go of the pain that I went through.
My partner has been very patient with me and takes full responsibility for what happened.
I've buried it for almost a yr. My anger has been seeping out here and there. This weekend I am a volcano of emotions.More sad than mad now. My partner too has taken responsibility but still says he doesn't understand how it happened. We have 30 yrs of marriage. I wish he never told me
@@hairdresser1300 Why not divorce and move on remembering the great times you all shared. Even good things come to an end, cheater let you know the end has arrived by cheating on you. They’re too pathetic to break up so that’s their route. That said, why don’t you end the marriage. Isn’t it better to have a fiber of self respect and be single than to remain with a known cheater?
I love her so much, I can’t bring myself to let go
Just came here to see the comments of people who have gone through the same thing as me, being cheated on by my wife, 6 years together, 2 years and 4 months married, a 4 year old girl. Just found out yesterday that while she was staying at her mom’s because of a fight we had, she hooked up with someone. At first I wanted to get back at her, but now I don’t know what to do, is it even worth staying and get over it?
I feel that trust can never be earned again.
So true
What about self respect? We are strong now but I am so hurt, I feel robbed, deceived, humiliated, taken for granted, disrespected by both him and myself it’s really hard to stay I want to but because I can’t help but feel these emotions sometimes and I feel bad because he feels shit about what he’s done and I feel bad for bringing it back up, I have nightmares about it....i think to myself why don’t I just find someone who won’t treat me like that
I be feel exactly the same as you do.
I think the same way. But its like 50% of men cheat. Thats facts lol what are the chances of not going through this B.S again. Especially with kids involved.
im going through the exact same thing... wondering how things worked out for you??
if you feel that emotionally unstable about him cheating on you the best would be to leave him even if it hurts that man doesnt love you if he was able to betray you and embarrass the shit out of you like that, he may regret it but he still doesn’t deserve your love or your trust
Time apart if possible can help, but also keep in mind plenty of people cheat. You can’t guarantee that you’d get with someone else and the will stay faithful. Cheating seems to be fairly common these days
Learning HOW TO forgive is the catch! It’s almost been a yr & i can’t forget the bad . Thanks for the video
How did it go?
It's tearing me up
I'm praying that we can get back together. I know we both suffering. Hopefully, one day I can go back here and comment that we were both together again.
Best of luck to you both.
How did it turn out?
Please let us know how it went
Any update bro?
I’m here because my husband cheated on me by having pictures of my young aunt on his phone, he knows what he was doing with those photos. My aunt had very explicit photos on her fb and he screenshot all of them and had a folder of her on his phone. When I found the folder I broke down, I couldn’t believe who he was using to relieve himself, I looked up to that aunt but then again she’s beautiful and she loves to flaunt everything on social media.. I was only mad at him obviously… I was embarrassed I didn’t tell a soul because I love my husband but I didn’t trust him, it’s still hard our sexual life has suffered, he’s a good person but I feel so disgusted, disappointed…. It’s been 3 years and we’re still struggling, this aunt is a close family member we see her every couple of days due to family gatherings. My heart sinks when I look at her and I can’t help but compare myself. My husband has apologized millions of times I know he’s sincere but I can’t let this go. I feel ugly, jealous, betrayed, heartbroken 💔 but I’m trying because I love him. I NEVER thought this would happen to me or to US.
While so many channels advice ppl to break up or look down on couples who have forgiven im glad for this channel.
So many say once a cheater always a cheater which is not true. There is no heart God cant renew.
No strength to even watch this video to the end. Just can't stop crying
.
We're so sorry! We are here for you ❤️
I was married for 52 years to a cheater. He cheated on me after 6 years when I had 3 small children. I let him stay because I loved him and I thought my children needed him in their life.
He was a terrific father and they adored him. Our relationship was never the same. I never allowed him to enter my heart again. I came from a dysfunctional family, abusive and I had walked away from them. I had no support. I took the blow and did the best I could. Took care of him when he finally died of Cancer. I do not regret staying as it helped my children. It was a very hard decision . I loved him but kept him at a distance until he died. He made a d3cision that was selfish with no regard for me or my children. You do it , you own it.
If she throws you away to make room in her heart for another man, and the affair fails and you reconcile, you do so as unequals in fidelity, personal integrity, and sexual experience. You are ‘restored’ to her heart as less the man you were before the affair. You have a new identity along side your once unfaithful (now remorseful?) wife: recycled trash. No matter how hard you try to improve yourself in your own and in her eyes, your status remains second best to that ‘better man’ she chose over you- until she got caught.
My wife cheated on me when she was not invited to a funeral. I found out by her sitting me down and forcing me to get antibiotics for being exposed to throat gonorrhea. She said most people break up after hearing this. I assured her I would forgive her because my favorite saying since covid 19 has been, "Forgive your abusers!"
That night I couldn't sleep and started asking for more information. Her initial response was she didn't know but she told me more and more which I didn't like. Even though I said I forgave her, her best friend who hates me heard me tell my wife "Tell Sancho I said hi" responded in spanish telling my wife to translate "I will introduce you to him". My wife's friend speaks english but forces translation because it is part of her detatched hatred. The crazy thing was I got angry for 2 hours and wanted to break up because I cannot compete with her friend. Whatever... I have to forgive everyone because from their perspective I am emotionally abusive and they are fighting for what they believe. I have to demonstrate forgiveness to all. In the end the only person that can control my anger is me.
I stayed for the kids after catching my wife cheating & that was 17 years ago. Today I wish I left her because we never rebuilt the trust & without trust she has been nothing but a burden that I have to monitor 24/7. Her lover dumped her and I'm nothing but her 2nd choice, that is a tough pill to swallow.
I recently found out that I was cheated on after our one year anniversary. It was all over the phone. It broke me. He promised me loyalty, protection, love. He promised I was the only person he wanted. I’m so hurt. But, I love him. I can’t just make my feelings from the last year disappear. I want it to work.
Very hard when someone's words don't align with their actions. I'm so sorry
you are dumb dump him !!!
if he broke all of his promises its not gonna work anymore, that man doesnt love you and he doesnt deserve your trust or your love i hope you left him
How did it go?
I am now in college and have been with a girl for 7 months. I told her in the 4th month that I had sex with 2 people the 2nd and third month. I was on drugs (not that it excuses anything). And when I told her she threw up and it was the hardest thing ever. But we wanted it to work and I got clean and dropped some friends and am genuinely a man now instead of a boy. Gave her my life 360 and face I.d in my phone for security. And we’re stronger than we’ve ever been but only because we took it slow and had the conversations that needed to be had. Just make sure the persons remains fully accountable and shows true remorse and change and you should be fine. We’re stronger than ever and I can’t thank her enough for giving me that chance :)
The dude is just not fakeing . The finishes of the goals. Beautiful. Magisterial. Love you *Minslegend!.* .🙏🏼
I got cheated on yesterday😢
But luckily I forgave her because she promised me that me and her will get back together and we never break our promises
She will cheat again. It runs further than sex. She doesn’t respect you.
Thank you for giving me hope that it's worth saving for.
Glad the video was helpful to you!
Coach Adrian
It's not. She will do it again.
@@cipryan96 you are really bitter. Leave people alone and focus on your life.
I hope things are working out for you. 🙏
@Kenya Hughes .. see wath i was saying..
What if your other half doesn't admit to cheating but the evidence is just too strong?
Exactly.. Like they believe their own lies and will never admit to it. The proof was said to be someone else's not theirs so i go w/my intuition even after he took my self worth and destroyed me almost completly
No, it can't. Don't prologue the suffering. Cheating is not a mistake but a choice. NOTHING can justify cheating, stop blaming the other person for not giving the cheater attention or some other bullshit reason. If he's not happy, communicate with the partner and try to solve the problem. If that does not work leave the relationship. The cheater is a selfish person and do not think of consequences, they just want to feel good. Leave and move on, no second chance for cheaters.
It’s it always true. In my case I constantly asked for things to change, I constantly asked for the reassurance, the live everything. I always asked for things to be fixed & they never were so I felt like I wasn’t being cared for, so I did it. Once I told my partner we had a long talk about it, we both saw our wrong my face your for change & help & if not being even cared for. Not saying it was their fault cause I took full responsibility but were 100x better than what we were in the beginning
@Christopher espinosa that right, and you must learn from those mistakes. But that with your future partener, the one that you cheated on deserves better. 🙃
@@cipryan96 well, buddy. I was the one who was cheated on...
@@cipryan96 you made me have second thoughts on coming back to her... 🥺😥
@@Chrisadore11 don't do it, she's do it again 100%
I have never stayed with a cheater & I’m trying to fight for my marriage it’s definitely harder than I expected …
Welp, get a divorce, don’t stop now.
*Folk, cheating is never a mistake. Cheating is a series of planned conscious decisions, the cheater justifies it, they determine that it’s worth risking their current relationship to do so, then after further consideration- they move forward with the act of infidelity. It’s fascinating how they pretend to be remorseful instead of confidently owning their decision.* When you forgive a cheater and remain with them, they interpret that as a slap on the wrist. A man or a woman with no self control is a liability. *I can’t think of anything more degrading, humiliating and pathetic than getting emotional over, fighting or making plans to remain in a relationship with a known cheater.*
I like this video. My significant other cheated on me and everyone is saying to leave but in my heart I still love my other half. I said weather we stayed together or I left I would forgive. It only happened because I work so much and never around. I been working so hard to save for a future that I didn't see the signs
I know how hard this can be Ragnar. Let's set up a coaching call so we can talk about your relationship and determine what you should do next.
www.happilycommitted.com
The reason it happened is NOT because you were working so much, its because your S.O. is selfish. Don’t ever blame yourself.
you may love her but that woman does NOT love you if she was able to do that to you and it was not your fault because you work a lot, that is not an excuse to cheat on someone
Whats the update?
I wonder why when a woman has cheated it's almost impossible for a man to forgive the woman but when a man has cheated women forgive almost all the time ?
Only a manipulated woman will forgive her cheating partner because she justify and tolerate his cheating
Very true
That is because sex is what mainly WOMEN put on the table for a relationship.. (men do not put sex on the table, because women, if they really want, can have sex, just about anytime).. When a Women cheats on a man, because someone whispered some sweet nothings in her ear, that man she cheated on him with, gets what she put on the relationship table for free!!!!
@@melvinmolly4151It's because men think that their cheating should be acceptable and that's it ..
Yep I am here, on this channel. He cheated, but we both want to stay together, so now it’s just about trying to move forward. It’s tough, definitely don’t feel good
What have you done to move forward? I’m trying to figure out what to do as well
I cheated on my partner by sending txt messages and it’s been a year now. And we been together for 5 years as well so it is possible to rebuild and forgive and move forward. Every relationship and every person is different. I’m not saying you have to stay with the person that cheated, just saying it’s up to you to stay or leave. I never cheated again after that because i didn’t want to see him hurt like that day he found out about those text messages. It ain’t worth it.
Well, it was just emotional cheating on your part right? Just texts? That's not the same as physical and emotional cheating, that's when the line is truly crossed. It's better to move on from a cheater, would you stay with a rapist? That's what cheaters basically are, they rape their victim's psyche
I wish all the cheaters die why you guys even belong to this beautiful world you Don't you belong to the streets feel sorry to that guy my brother you could have run away cause once a cheater always a cheater.
He should've left you
I’ve been with this guy for 5 years.. met eachother when We were 19. He’s a year older than me. I’m 24 now and he’s 25.. I messed up this time 😞🥺.. He caught me cyber cheating .. looked through my phone and seen I was sexting another guy and flirting with him .. didn’t send him nudes or anything but the guy saw me twerking on my close friends story.. and he broke up with me instantly. Yet, he’s cheated on me in the past, I looked through his phone and seen him messaging multiple women, flirting with them sending emojis to em and complimenting them while we were together, even saying raunchy shit to em and I confronted him about it , even though I took him back… several times. We’ve gone through hell and back yet I did something like this one time and he’s completely over me… yet we’ve still been talking, meeting up having sex etc.. I feel stupid because it’s not really want I want but idk how to feel rn .. 😞
How did you guys manage to work it out?
I could never never trust or forgive a man that would cheat on me thank god I had a good man we had a great life he’s gone now it was just his time. But I’ll always love him he was the best
Many thanks, I have been researching "can a relationship be repaired after cheating" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Ever heard of - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now ) ? Ive heard some interesting things about it and my co-worker got cool results with it.
you got self respect but a lot of these comments do not
My partner cheated due to the relationship not failing in both of our parts and my partner has always struggled with mental health and during this time fell into drugs and alcohol. They tried using another person to replace me and make the new relationship what ours was at the beginning. Ik first hand cheating isn’t black and white. Theirs a lot of factors that go into someone making that choice. After it was said and done they realized that I was the one. I was the one that deserved that spot in their life and that they had lost it and chose the wrong path to take. We are now working on things and going through the things that lead to those wrong choices. Our decisions aren’t for everyone to follow. But depending on the circumstances you can survive this and come out stronger. And have an even better relationship than before. It comes down to how much love is really their and the circumstances that lead up to the wrong decisions. If someone cheated bc of an ego or to fulfill a sexual desire than no leave move on.
What if the person didn't physically cheat but via social media convos, pictures and videos/video calls going on for about 3mnths. They've never met the person but planned to. The person didn't tell u about it but you found out from a coworker who's connected to the person they virtually cheated with?
so your the plan b
@@cherissegranger8275 I’m in the same boat :p
I hurt my wife badly! I thought I was going to lose her but she stayed with me. Knowing that she is fighting hard to heal it breaks me even more. I wish I could go back and 'be faithful'. I destroyed something wonderful and I don't know if I will ever forgive myself...
i hope she gets out of there and finds someone who would never betray and humiliate her like that
@@papalit89fan33 😐
Seriously this gives me hope. That's what I didn't understood. That my commitment and love is so strong that I hope that we have a new start. I know that I need time to get over this pain but. I don't know why. I don't want to throw 9 years away and my best friend (girlfriend) & my lover in crime like worn out socks. I know that we had tough times but I always had the opinion that we're growing on these hurdles not break. Thank you for this video. It gives me hope. And no matter what... I'm going to fight for her because we are human and anybody else does Tripp sometimes.
@Dillards Shopper Exactly right. Cheating is never a mistake it is a decision.
Its hard to hide a broken heart. I just found out that my husband was been cheated on me. But he just said sorry to me once with no feelings.. We have a one year old son my heart and my brain is fighting right now.. i wanna divorce but not at the same time cuz i dont want my baby to have a broken family... please help me 😢
I'm in the same situation I don't know what to do she said it was more than once 😟 we've been together for alsmot 12 years now and have been through the best and worst times in our lifes. .. our son is 5 years old and I love him to death i dont want to ever hurt him and make him feel like i felt growing up with my parents split up and what hurts the most is that it happend 3 years ago and discussed it and got passed it and i forgave her and just a few hours ago she came clean with more details that she lied about out of nowhere... i don't know what to do or how to feel.. what I do know is it fucken hurts cause our son is so amazing and beautiful and I dont know how it ever came to her making a decision like that 😕
i would first like to say that everyone heals and deals with things differently. my mum was cheated on by my dad and she ignored him for 2 years. took them a year to even start speaking to one another. and now it has been 8 years since my mum found out, they aren't separated because they stayed together for me but what i can tell is they really have lost that bond between them. they dont hold hands or share kisses or even sleep on the same bed anymore, but they do talk and go shopping and go out for meals. if u think u can deal with it mentally and come to peace with urself just to keep ur family as one then by all means, but sometimes it's better to move on as well and find your own happiness again, i do hope u find ur answers soon
Only you can decide. Only forgive him if you can truly forgive him. You don’t want to be in a bitter relationship the child will feel that energy
@@artcruz5603
The pain is real especially when she has cheated more than once, firstly go and get yourself checked over at a sexual health clinic, even to this day people don't practice safe s.x then don't try to work out things on your own, get some help 🙏
You'll show your child your happiness when you're happy. Don't ever be miserable or unhappy staying in a relationship for your child.
Still 4 years later I think about it. I still get treated bad once in awhile. I get told mean things that I won’t forget. It’s hard that she did that to me. She told me we were never going to be together forever. I’m so lost. :(
It sounds like you need to move onto a better partner... If they are continuously hurting you that could be a sign your partner is a narcissist. Seek counselling perhaps? Read some books that can help you understand and figure out what to do. I wish you all the best.
I have been married 11 years, together 12. My husband admitted to cheating on me when I was pregnant with my first daughter. But he said it didn’t count because we weren’t married. Well fast forward to 11 years later 3 kids together, and 1 recent miscarriage I just learned that he cheated on me two months ago. He admitted to it, and when I talked to the other woman she said it only happened once but after learning he was married she cut it off and she said he tried to do it again, but she told him no. What upsets me is that not only did he cheat and admit to doing that, he tried to go back for more with her and didn’t bother to mention that. He also said that he was incredibly drunk and high. I am so devastated and I am trying to figure out what to do.
Yeah no, not all cheaters can make a comeback. Mine didn't and trying to make it work just gave her time to leave with more than she would have if i asked for a divorce immediately. Not only was i made a fool of, i made a fool of myself. If you dont have kids, just leave.
Currently going thru this and we have a 4 year old son. So hard to stay to make us better but so hard to walk away ..
Current in the exact same situation how did it go.
At the end of the day if you love your partner you wouldn't cheat in the first place 🤷♂️
I cheated my boyfriend two days ago.... couldn't stop thinking about it so i just told him the truth....still feel guilty about it and im slowly walking the " im a terrible person" path...didnt know that cheating is actually a reaction to trauma...yet this doesnt fully explains the why i did it...we still decided to give it a try...i dont know what to do...and i kinda seek answers for my problem...idk why i shared this to yall
Have a nice day anyways x
How isit going now
It’s okay love, you shared it because it was heavy on your heart and we are here to help, support, and understand the situation. Please keep us updated on how it workouts for you two, and I’m praying for growth, forgiveness, and your relationship.
i know the feeling man
I’m in the same boat as you.
My wife cheated on me just recently, the very second I found out I forgave her. A couple days later I could tell she was feeling bad for eat she done because I have been a damn mess even though I forgive her it's not a easy thing to get over. I can tell it's going to take time to heal over this. I have been having horrible nightmares of being in a room with her sitting on the edge of the bed and me sitting in a chair unable to move or look away while someone who I can't make out comes in and has their way with her. I literally can't even get it up when we try to be intimate with each other. It has gotten a bit better over these couple months and we're both making it work. I haven't been the best husband lately with having a drinking problem. 55 days sober now. But yes you can move on after this or if you truly love one another at least try if you think it's worth the time. I love her way too much just to let go of 7 years in the drop of a hat.
Going through this as we speak...I have no proof but I feel my wife has cheated on me when she went on vacay in VA..I don't no what to do
@@rambojones8711 Trust your gut. Mine has never led me wrong and just like you I had suspected it before I was able to confirm it.
going through the same thing at the moment. just found out about my wifes 6 month affair with another man. im broken. please tell me, 5 months after your comment, is it any better?
@@kwikest if you both want it to work, it WILL get better. Both of you got disconnected... connect and build your relationship stronger than ever.
@@kwikest hit the gym bro grow some balls she belongs to the streets
I'm here because I can't get over how she did me. I can't stop obsessing over the person she cheated on me with. I'm angry at her and I want to beat him to a pulp. I want to get over it and forgive her because I love her so much. She isn't perfect and neither am I but she's a wonderful mother and I always saw myself growing old with her. But I'm smart enough to know if I can't get over this and I can't stop thinking about taking revenge on the guy she cheated with then I will only be doing my family a disservice by continuing the relationship. I know she deeply regrets her actions but that doesn't take my hurt away.
going through the same. how are you doing now? did it get any better? im scared i wont be able to forgive and move past this.
I was cheated on and my heart is just broken he hurt the trust between us and he didn't tell me for two years ,,, I want it to work but I'm in so much pain emotionally
Being betrayed by a loved one can be very hurtful. Please watch this video, I believe it will be helpful for you.
ruclips.net/video/dcXBu3NqAOQ/видео.html
Coach Natalie
It's not going to work. He kept that for 2 years?? I hope to the high heavens you got rid of that A
I've got 3 words about staying together after being cheated on: "DON'T DO IT!!"
I'm not saying that there aren't issues that can make someone feel "justified," but the strong person with integrity and morals will leave. They don't CHEAT!! Anyone who cheats lacks these qualities and they WILL cheat again!
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!"
Dude you sound sad
@@nick1x yeah I know but people can rebuild a relationship after a person has cheated
@@nick1x and people don’t keep cheating if they want the relationship to work
@@nick1x everyone is different bro my ex cheated on me and I forgave her and we moved on the only reason it didn’t work was because she moved to another state 3 years later. And bro how you watching a video on repairing relationships after cheating if you don’t agree with anything they’re saying 😂😂😂
@@nick1x hey I guess not good thing I got a kid and am married now
After cheating is over , not because i say so but because is true.
Waste no time , leave , forever .
You will be ok again , but after a wile not right away.
Leave.
This is really a difficult situation. While a person who messed up things wants to turn the table back and get back to that person so badly and what if the other person disagrees and rejects the apology. Human make mistakes but accepting them whole heartedly and giving 200% to save the relationship is something one should focus upon. But what If someone doesn't accept it :(
Thank you for reaching out. I understand you're unsure what an indiviual needs to do if the other person rejects an apology. Please visit www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/ so that we can help you more on a personal level.
Coach Natalie
People make mistakes but cheating is like murder. It takes lots of planning and guts and decision making. Unless of course for self defense.
@@suvdamarbayar200 and yet cheaters return to marriage as nothing happened
@suvdamarbayar200 not really, both murder and cheating could happen randomly, unplanned and even by mistake.
Of course it depends on what that person did
I want to trust him again but I don’t think I can 💔
I could never ever be physical again with my wife if she cheated. Its the biggest turn off in the world.
Forgive, cut loss and move on.
I wholeheartedly disagree. Once your partner cheats the relationship is over. You never really had them to begin with, and they didn't respect you enough to end the relationship first. No matter how well you think you can repair that relationship there will ALWAYS be that seed of doubt in your mind. Total trust is forever off the table, and to think otherwise is to be in denial. Do yourself a favor, work through the denial and the other stages. When you are mostly healed, go find somebody who truly loves you.
I completely agree. The cheater needs to learn self-accountability and self-awareness. Dragging innocent people into their inability to navigate relationships in a healthy manner is disgusting behaviour.
The cheatee/victim needs to develop self-esteem and not be so desperate for love that they will themselves to be disrespected.
I disagree. People can change and everyone deserves a 2nd chance if something happend only once. If they learned their lesson and know to never do it again why leave the person who could be the best partner for you?
@@nostalgix6 nor everyone deserve a second chance, and you should only consider giving someone a second chance if they prove worthy of it.
I don’t agree with you, if the person asks for forgiveness and regret it, you could give someone a second chance if you really love the person
If they ask for forgiveness... Hello, aren't you aware that a person who can lie in your face after having s*x with another man/woman can come and tell you more lies just to have you as backup? If there is no respect there is no love. Only a few cases of infidelity can be forgiven and this is when the relationship is a mess (you are like separated but don't say it) and some other rare instances. Only the it is justified in some sense.
We have been together 21years and I just find out the first 3 years she was cheating with multiple guys. Now everything is different. I use to like our story, especially the first years. Now it's all tainted. 21 years and 2 kids later, shes not the same person. Shes remorseful but it doesnt change the past. The trust is gone, I gave her the freedom she wanted and this is what I get. I even confronted her what was the third guy and she said I was crazy. I was ready to break up then but she lied and I stayed. Even worse she did it 1 more time after that conversation. She said I should believe her thats it and after that was all us, I dont believe but dont want to start a new chapter
Thank you for reaching out, Jay. I understand what you're going through. Please visit www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/ so that we can help you more on a personal level.
Coach Natalie
Me either even if Im not in your situation.
You Don't have any self respect mate just tissue for her to use.
Surviving is a bit of a stretch. Staying together for the kids but resenting the cheater is more realistic.
God I found out 3 days ago she was talking to other guys when I was struggling, I’m so broken and lost
I feel you. It was the same for me... During one of the hardest times of my life
I cheated but I know who I am, my reasons. 1 mistake doesn’t define me, 1 cheating doesn’t define me as untrustworthy and so forth.
do females consider lying and stealing worse than cheating? what is the ultimate betrayal in your opinion.
Nah, cheating is a pretty big action of your character. And yes, cheating does define you as untrustworthy. I’m currently going through this as my partner admitted to cheating on me, and the rage you feel from it is insane.
Cheating is literally breaking someone’s heart in the worst way possible. I’m not saying you can’t atone or redeem yourself, but cheating puts a permanent scar on your trust worthiness in my eyes. It’s easy not to cheat, and it’s not a mistake, it’s a choice. There’s a lot that goes into sleeping with someone, many stop signs before the deed finally begins and ends.
So yeah next time don’t cheat and if it’s that bad just leave because if you’re the victim like me, it makes us feel useless, unworthy, unloved, and breaks whatever trust we have left for anything even more.
So while it was “just sex, a mistake I made” unfortunately it’s much much more than that for the victim. I really wish people would just stop doing this shit.
Anyways just how I see it, later
Yes, it does make you an untrustworthy person. If you could do that to your other half, what kind of other shady shit would you do to others?
You clearly didn't love your partner to cheat or you would have never done it..
@@gavincosgrove this is the one suffered enough
counsel before cancel the cheater.. they deserve to have a chance to atleast prove to themselves that they are willing to take accountability on their actions.
It's so ironic that after all the times you've reserved yourself to someone who took time and effort to earn your trust after a long time, broke it again. I'm sorry for my imperfections, but I never had to put our relationship to risk-cheating. I thought I told you so-let's fight for everything but not for a broken trust. But here we are, I've been betrayed, again...
it is so hard to forgive.. :( i can't get over it.. even if i cry everyday.. :(
😭 the pain is too much 😢.
i wish i could.. i can forgive him because i know he feels very guilty, but i truly need loyalty, not just about cheating but about respect and having my back.. i already fought too much, felt unloved and now i feel like i have no other choice than to let go..
If I have cheated on someone.
Now he is scared of trusting anyone.
But I want to make things right again.
What should I do
Thank you for reaching out, Himanshi. I understand what you're going through. Please watch this video when you get a chance. ruclips.net/video/tgAX_dzBReM/видео.html
Coach Natalie
1 time mistake but 2 or 3 not a mistake
What about if he cheated on your during the very beginning of your relationship, but you didn’t find out that he cheated on you until YEARS later, when he always said he’s “never cheated on you” or “would never cheat on you,” and you found out after shortly after y’all got married?
My husband told me ten years later. He cheated on me when we were dating and going through a rough patch. It hurt so bad. Still kinda does. It’s as if he just did it recently.
@@kmp8985 how did you move past it ? I found out a few weeks ago but it’s been almost a whole year since it actually happened…im not sure how to move forward from it and it was so long ago
@@kmp8985 wow! I would’ve never trust him again. That’s actually very scary that he can lie to himself all those years and then hold such a thing in. Wow!! Wow 😯
I found out this week and this went on last year am still trying to find it in my to forgive him
OMG this happened to me, it was so hard. Three years later and I’m still struggling, he has apologized so many times but it’s hard, it’s a roller coaster for sure some days o love him other days I’m heartbroken
I just found out my wife of almost 13 years had been cheating on me for the last 3 years. The reason she was finally able to break it off and tell mewas the other person was a narcissist and was gaslighting/blackmailing her into staying. I want to make it work and I hope it's going to get easier
dude 3 years come on have some respect for yourself. just go!!!
That is so sad :( sorry 💔
Does she want to make it work? She's been doing this for 3 years. Doesn't matter if the guy was a narc or not. She still had thought and action to carry this out, not tell you until HE made her life horrible. and now she told you. Where's her guilt?
Trying to forgive but it's very hard I feel that he can never change
I refuse to stay with a cheater
How do you deal with family that does not want you to reconcile with your ex?
Your an adult
Do you
Don't let anyone run your life
You decide 💪
My partner's family is like this. He cheated on me twice, I did it once. His sisters and mother will overlook what he did but believe that he should leave me. Mind you, he cheated physically both times, I was texting with another person. He has done a great job defending me to them and putting his foot down and explaining to them.that I've changed and taking accountability for his actions. Theyre slowly growing accepting of things and this came out 4 years ago; they were really unhappy when they found out we have another child on the way (because of what I did) but he pretty much told them to stuff it. We both have done the same with friends as well.
Thank you for this I found out my wife of 9 years cheated on me 7 days ago and she has been carrying on with it for over a year and I really needed this video to help me start to figure out my feelings and emotions as well as figuring out weather it's worth it to stay together or not
I’m sorry to hear this. Your story is similar to mine.
I am so sorry Matt. I have a similar story :(
I just wish we could communicate to each other and didn’t have to lead to such betrayal, sometimes and most times it is out of frustration and unheard calls for connection and love but god damn how some have to learn the hardest way but it can become better it takes a lot of love and understand from
Both, the cheater has to feel remorse and realize and admit it was out of frustration you will be told why if you seek to know
And don’t crucify them, you may burst and say some shit but try remember we all crumble sometimes and even at worst selves we aren’t bad our choices were….forgive us our trespasses as the our father says, as we forgive those who trespass against us
Move on .Think that you will fall in love with a new person.Instead of being in a relationship with a unreliable person who may leave you soon,find a new love.It hurts now ,but you will understand it is an exiting journey for you 👏👏👏👏
i cheated on my fiancé and regret it bc he’s not happy anymore.. he’s starting to not care about me and our relationship… i’m so stupid and i don’t want to end our relationship but he keeps talking and acting like he wants it to end…
My girl cheated two years ago, initially thinking it was just talking. Today I find out there were videocall, kissing, and hugging, the girlfriend has shown respect privately and in front of her realtives and friends and support in every step since. The question is whether to break up or give her another chance.
I'm still hurting after finding out my husband cheated on me 7 months ago. I was 4 months pregnant with our 4th child. At first I wanted nothing to do with him but he was fighting for me to stay and work it out, I gave in and we tried.. a few weeks later I find out he's talking to the lady he cheated on me with again and I find out he went to her house so I tell him I'm leaving. He cried and said he wouldn't do it again and I gave in to trying again. Everything seemed to get better but then the week I was going to give birth to our baby I find out he's talking to the lady again and I get a message from her sending me screenshots of there conversations and the dirty talk! I felt like that was my breaking point! I was done! But he cried again and said he was finally done with her and wanted to focus on me and the kids. I gave in again and here we are 2 months later trying to work things out. I have noticed a difference in him, he randomly took us to Disneyland and said he will do anything for us and I haven't seen any contact with that lady. But I'm still sitter here wondering if I should leave but now he's really trying so do I stay?
Its not about him.
Its all about you. Do you wanna stay with him?
They say that you deserve what you tolerate but its up to you if you wanna stay. When it comes to love we are stupid bec we love the person truth hurts 💔
Sounds like you're a great partner. It takes a lot to forgive someone that many times. I would say if you want to stay then stay. It sounds like he may have finally realized what he's going to lose this time. Make sure he's aware there are no more chances after this.
Hey ..I think it's ur choice..if he sincere on u..and only focus on u ..then really u can change him with medicine of love
Same happened to me.but iam only give one chance..but he never break the promise.our relationship grow more and more..he changed a lot.. he work hard to get trust back.. trust me everything will be alright..
My husband cheated on me and I believe that it is impossible to fix this marriage
I understand the pain you're going through after being betrayed. Please watch this video, it will be helpful for you.
ruclips.net/video/F6nUUwam2Cs/видео.html
Coach Natalie
It is impossible. Have some self respect and cut those people loose. If there are kids, talk only about the kids.
Been there, it will not work. Leave
Do you want to always question? Ask about whereabouts? Suffer with the constant doubts, lack of trust? I rather go thru the pain and tears than to live a life like that. Plus, once a cheater, always a cheater. Theirs something wrong with them. And you CANT fix them. AGAIN, YOU CANT FIX A CHEATER.
+2348073317460⏯⏯❣❣
This video would help me a year ago and save me a lot of stress -i wouldn't give him another chance only for him to cheat on me again He is narcissist-he doesn't see anything wrong with what he did
Does your ex partner ever message you since the split?
All i wanted is to get Married and to be with someone who will love me forever. But why it is too diffecult to achieve and guys always to hurt me.
Cheating is not cool why not just be alone and love yourself what's the harm and that
Thank you for watching the video. Cheating causes pain to our loved ones.
Coach Natalie
I hate when people say once a cheater, aways a cheater and that's not true! My husband and i are stronger now even after the infidelity. But it takes 2 people who want to make it work for it to actually work. Both of you need to fight for the marriage or relationship if you both want it to work ❤
i cheated on my wife multiple times with this one person and my wife found out and now she is so upset with me she is even thinking abt a divorce but we sat down and we spoke and i know she still loves me but the hurt is too much for her so i would like to have some guidance on what we should do to build back our marriage
Same. He cheated on me after 24 yrs together. We sat and talked about it. But as a woman I tell u, love goes. When I see him now I see a two-faced man now. Love goes. Be careful.
I already give him several chances but whenever I asked him something to make clear he behaves so crazy and always avoid all the matters and talk about another things...even I can understand sometime that he lies but still he denied all the time how could I able to fix it..I just want him as he was before...but I can't express my emotions to him..
I’m not sure if that will work SaH
I am in your situation right now
After finding out myself it's hard to honestly stay and after my girlfriend whose also my babymother not only cheated once but twice with two different ex boyfriends. She claims she didn't have sex and both times I caught her texting. It's getting harder and harder to honestly trust her anymore and I wonder myself if this relationship is honestly worth it.
Thumb down at the second he said cheating is a mistake " absolute bs " never take back a cheater have some respect for yourself bcs the cheater will lose any respect left for you if you take him/her back, life is too short ...
Is it possible to heal together and become happy again after both partners cheat on each other? I was cheated on by my boyfriend and did my best to forgive him for a year. It was the most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced and I was depressed for a long time. In the end, I couldn’t forgive him and felt the only way to move forward with him was for me to sleep with someone else. Only then would I feel like I’ve done something horrible that I have no right to hold onto resentment. I now regret all of my actions and caused so much pain back to the person I love. I wish we could heal together but I don’t know if it’s beyond repair. I’d love to get some advice.
Hi there,
We're sorry to hear about this! I would highly suggest you book a coaching session with someone on our team so we can get to know your situation a little more. happilycommitted.com/coaching/
-HC Team
The most hardest thing in life