Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than RUclips by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:40 What is Muscle Dysmorphia? 04:53 Attaching Self-Worth to How Your Body Looks 12:29 What is Causing These Disorders? 21:55 How Body Dysmorphia Can Seem Like a Good Thing 28:26 Social Media’s Impact on How We View Ourselves 35:48 Cultural Trends Impacting Our View of Male & Female Bodies 42:24 Is There Such a Thing as Business & Lifestyle Dysmorphia? 47:43 Scott’s Grindr Study of Dysmorphia in Gay Men 57:27 What Men Worry About Most with their Bodies 1:05:00 Where to Find Scott
In the US, 74% of the population is overweight or obese. Combined with seeing only the best male physiques (females get a pass...body positivity only applies to women). Men have never been so far from the ideal male body, 60 years ago, what percentage of the population was overweight.
Just watch some old footage of street scenes from the 50's or 60's. Not a single fat person. You need to actually consider what is different then it hits you.
I can’t be an A plus student so I’ll flunk the class instead? How does that make any sense? Sure, they may be guys upset with seeing images of jacked guys. But it is not society’s fault that you let yourself get overweight.
@@michaelblazin4093 actually, society embraced consumerism which lead to the mass production of unbelievable amounts of highly addictive highly caloric food. You can almost get fat buy slipping up and getting used to the readily available food. And a lot of people do not necessarily have the smarts or suspicion to be careful around food.
Mr. Williamson: A very vulnerable, empathic treatment of a legit problem that doesn't get enough attention--absent yours. And as a woman, I found it eye-opening; we're not the only ones who suffer from these insecurities. Gonna share this episode with the men in my life. Thank you!
I'd wager most men in your life are well aware and can tell you more about this issue than you may think. It's just that we're in that culture that tells me to suck-it-up and not complain, so to many, men's issues just don't exist (not saying this is you).
@@kimdecker8901 Women don't want men to open up to them about their problems, that's why men don't do it. We've had to learn that the hard way, from experience. Women want the man to be the 'rock'. If the man is constantly bringing up his insecurities and self esteem issues, the woman will eventually leave him. By the way, all the men I know do talk about these issues, just not with women. The fact that you said 'I found it eye opening, we're not the only ones who suffer from these insecurities', proves my point. You didn't even realise men would have these type of issues because you've never even given it a thought.
Thank you for this episode. This hits so hard in my mind and clarifies a lot of things I’ve felt for most of my life since the age of 12. Now at 37, I still feel these feelings. I’ve always felt smaller than everyone else and looked like shit, yet I have dude’s bigger than me in the gym saying they wish they looked like me. 5’9” at 165-170lb and 12% BF consistently for years. I would see a picture of myself out on the beach and notice that I did look good. But when I looked in the mirror I saw that 12 year old getting picked on in grade school. Then December of last year I started having issues with heart rate and blood pressure which quickly spiraled. Months go by and no answer from doctors. Wasn’t able to workout for 6 months. Then got diagnosed with dysautonomia. Now I’m 149lbs and would give anything to have that 15-20lbs back and just enjoy it. I have a long recovery, but it has taken something like this chronic condition to humble me and become more comfortable in my own skin. However, people that knew me for being very fit, when I see them now after not seeing them for months, they point out how much weight I’ve lost. Total mind fuck.
I was a competitive bodybuilder for a decade from 16-26. I had this issue to a degree after meeting my wife who supported my competing but made sure I knew she was with me because she thought I was a good man not that I looked good with my clothes off. Also getting seriously injured and realizing my life didn’t end when I shrank helped me out things into perspective. Now I still enjoy training but only because I enjoy moving weights and have a much healthier relationship with food
As an adolescent and right up to my 30s, this was me (I'm now 43). I was an extremely skinny kid; other kids would do the wrist thing and put their fingers round it; they called me 'matchstick' or 'sticky' (a riff on my name). It didn't really help that when I hit 14 I shot up and was 6' 1" by the time I was 15 - yes I was tall, but I was skinny with it. I was always conscious of how 'inferior' I looked by being skinny, even under 10 years old (other boys reminded me of it daily) , but it wasn't until I was 18/19 that I decided to try and do something about it by going to the gym. This wasn't because others pressurised me to do it; by then I was part of an 'alternative' friend group who didn't care what you looked like, but I still felt I was inferior. I still got teased by others outside my friend group. The trouble is, my physiology (like many other slimmer people's) isn't genetically 'programmed' to gain muscle (something I found out much later in life). I did six months at the gym and yes I put on some muscle, but not much and I gave up about 6 months later. I tried again in my early 20s by lifting at home, but the same results occurred - I just couldn't gain much muscle. Another attempt when I was in my early 30s was more successful (by this point my metabolic rate had slowed a bit), but I was never 'ripped', just slightly more athletic looking. Now I'm in my early 40s, things are actually quite different.I'm still slim and I think I always will be, but I'm fit and healthy. Suddenly being tall and slim (I don't refer to myself as skinny any more) is actually a good thing. Many men my age are overweight and unfit and look much older than they are. I'm told I look 30 something! I feel much more confident looking as I do now. It's just a shame that people were so critical when I was younger and that I hated myself so much for the way I looked. I still carry those 'scars' with me today and I will never be as confident as my peers, but it has got better as I've got older. I've grown into my body so to speak.
Yep, I'm 44 and had similar experiences that you described, although was hampered from exercise between ages 11 and 21 due to a chronic illness. I've now been working out regularly for just over 5 years, but still feel way too skinny. I'm giving myself until I turn 45 to see how I feel, then who knows where I'll turn. After watching this podcast I might turn to therapy.
It's nice to see so many other guys who also went and go through this. For girls it's a compliment to be skinny but as a guy it can be pretty awful as people will shamelessly humiliate you in public. I had to lift weights in front of my parents as their insecurities carried over to us and it didn't do anything even with HGH. Still a twig but in shape, couldnt get myself to take my shirt off around the pool on vacation around my cousins who are all body builders
@@hamilcarbarca8659 nice. I don't like violence, but I think bullies only understand one language. My son was bullied at school in his teens because of the same issue and they ended up breaking his arm. We pulled him out of that school after that. Can't help thinking if he'd broken one of their noses they might have stopped. I've told my daughter who's still at school that if she gets bullied to kick the bully as hard as possible between the legs. I don't care if she gets in trouble for it as bullies don't stop until they get a dose of their own. I know she won't do it as she gentle like my son and me, but hey.
I knew damn well I had it. “Your arms look like corn dog sticks” (Pointing at a stick figure) “it’s a realistic portrait of you” Got dumped for a bigger better looking guy. I can’t even take two days off from the gym or I feel absolutely terrible and I feel skinny even though I haven’t lost anything.
Dude I have it too- but we have all been dumped. Remember u dodges a bullet. You are better off without her. please don’t waste your time beating yourself up. Go enjoy your life and find someone who values you for you.
@@brendanarthur5177 oh nah, dating isn’t on the table for me lol. I don’t even like myself, nor can I speak to women who actually (clearly) find me attractive. In definitely dying single lmao.
The only thing that bothers me now is that women are being fed that they deserve to have an Adonis of a man despite being a tub of lard. There is a massive expectation imbalance. YASS Queen!!! You deserve it!
Women have been dealing with men expecting what men to look a certain way for much longer. I’m not dismissing your feelings. I’m just pointing out the similarities that exist and how both sexes have suffered from what’s expected.
@SuperSarahbop you make a good point and I agree historically that is the case. I think that my point is that it doesn’t serve most women well to expect the 1% chad to stay with her after he beds her. I think dating apps have ruined most men’s self esteem and distorted most women’s sense of options.
I've researched this a few years ago from when I started getting into the gym and building up from being skinny. This video articulates this soo well. Thanks for the upload.
There is a serious double standard right now in Hollywood in terms of acceptable body representation. In the most recent Thor movie they literally photoshopped Chris Heimsworth's back to look more muscular. Imagine if they editted Natalie Portman's boobs to look bigger. Ridiculous. This is just part of the trend that made Conan the Barbarian the stock wild man look, but Red Sonja's design is completely unacceptable (by modern standards).
@@tempsoda Nowadays you often hear "real women don't look like that" when it comes to movies or games. I'm sure it's still an ongoing problem but at least it's recognize. The same courtesy isn't extended to men.
@@tempsoda I've heard of photoshopping and airbrushing for magazines. And of course makeup and such before getting on the screen. But this Thor incident is of note because it's the first time I've heard of them specifically enhancing a body part in an actual big budget movie. Especially in the modern era when it's supposed to be all about body positivity. An idea that's often pushed by companies like Disney. Again, can you imagine if they digitally enhanced Natalie Portman's chest or butt? There would be crazy amounts of backlash.
1. Love who you are right now. 2. All of your competition SHOULD BE with yourself. Strive to be the version of yourself in the future who you would be proud of if you time traveled and met yourself. 3. No matter how bad you THINK you are now, unless your situation is GROSSLY out of control, you will eventually look back at pictures or whatever and realize you WISHED you could be that again. Time has hands. Give it long enough and eventually you'll wish you could trade back all the time you spent worrying about your insecurities to just BE that version of yourself again.
It's interesting to see a lot of comment talking about how this is just a talk about fat acceptance men's division. It's not. Yes in the US/Canada/UK/Australia more men than ever are obese but this conversation is more a focus on the men who are already dialed in on their health who feel like they will never be enough when they are already enough. This is a conversation about already healthy men not feeling adequate. I'm a bulimic woman. I gained a ton of weight from binge eating without purging and became obese. I knew I was fat and it made me uncomfortable but I didn't really have body dysmorphia because my self image was in line with reality. I've lostmost of the weight, I workout a lot and I fit in a size 4 now. I still see myself as I was at a size 16 and that is body dysmorphia. I eat at an extreme deficit to try and be smaller even though everyone keeps telling me that I'm in my best ever shape. That is what they are talking about here. It's horrible that more people have to experience this, especially healthy people who are already fine. It's horrible that men now feel the need to do dangerous and toxic things to fit an ideal that just doesn't typically naturally exist. Really good episode and more people need to speak on men with body dysmorphia and eating disorders.
A couple of years ago i was shredded sub 8% bodyfat and still felt fat, looking back it't actually insane. I had 0 energy and was still trying to cut down, getting up at 2am to go to the gym before work and fasting constantly. Not healthy, thankfully i can see the shape im in and appreciate it. Thanks for the video!
I'm mini David Gogogins and I would like to answer your question What do you do when your life comes to halt? I simply don't workout in the morning but I still read Daily Stoic I still meditate and journal every day. I'm laying on my back -day 9 -nasty fracture. It's the Stoic philosophy that carries me through the good times and bad times. It turned out I'm not BS. Although my injury is bad I know I'll be back and I find the way to enjoy life. I even call it blessing in disguise. My mind is mine. I even went through morphine withdrawals 3 days ago as I'd rather suffer pain then loose clarity of my mind. In a way all of my training and lifestyle was preparing me for this moment, and I delivered. So I'll be back stronger then every, maybe even reborn. Amor fati PS surgery on Wednesday PPS your podcasts means the world to me, thank you 46:10
I don't even have to watch this. Its because we are all constantly told we aren't good enough or are too much. We are never just accepted as people, only for what we provide. So we try our best to improve ourselves so that we can provide for everyone except ourselves.
If you are unhappy with how you look it really isn't hard to get into the gym for a few hours a week. I'm glad that I'm constantly exposed to men much greater than myself, It gives me something to aspire to. Saying that however, I don't compare myself to them I compare myself to the person I used to be.
Use that competitive spirit for good. Pour into yourself...overflow it. Try not to obsess over it. Often times, we are our own worst enemies. You will be alright.😊
I am a 54 YO former rugby player 6' 2" tall, a lean 195lbs. I am FINALLY living in the Body I always knew I should have, could have. It may sound silly, but I use the statues of men from ancient Greece and Rome for inspiration as they depict true Natural, healthy, strong physiques. I avoid the Magazines, the Societal pressures, the BS on Instagram etc.... I also balance body and mind.... it took me 48 years of life to understand this. I am stronger, fitter and of clear mind.
Wow.....A REAL podcast containing REAL sometimes BRUTALLY honest information that needs to be heard ....... Thank You.... The truth eventually rises to the top.
Chris, I like your discussions however look at your banner pic on this channel. That is exactly the issue that you are discussing. Why did you choose to display that pic? It's a look at me and see how great I look pic! Also, reflect on the products that sponsor your channel. Many are focused on getting that jacked body. Do you think you are contributing to the problem? I have to call you out and say that these things take our focus away from your message of taking control of one's own life and being the best person we can be. Something to think about.
Personal experience : Used to be slim from 0 to 8 years old Then more and more fat from 8 to 16 YO, up to 80 Kg for 1.74 m ( 176 Lbs / 5"85 ) First job at 17 yo => really phisical, lost 8 Kg in a single month, then start body building right after and on the next 4 months lost 8 Kg again ... gone from 80 to 64 Kg , so overall i lost 35 Lbs on less than 6 months ... i spend the next 5 years to lose only 3 more Kg !! and transform the rest of my fat into muscles. ( yes , muscle is way more heavy than fat ) I was slim , 61 Kg for 1.74 m ( 135 Lbs / 5"85 ) , nearly a women weight, i was working out 5 or 6 times a week and running 2 x 10 Km , was strong and fit in my early 20"s ... Know what ? i was still looking at this little piece of fat on my 2 lower abs... Just to reach perfection And so what ? What's the problem with looking for that 6 pack after have been shamed for years by others and you find that inner motivation to achieve it !! Everyone saying me " you're too slim , you're lean " , even the doctor who said to me i was dismorphophobic ...Truth is i've never been such in a good condition than at this time ... i just naturally have a light skeleton , so 61 Kg affraid people around me as if it was not normal ...and let me tell you , usually we should not listen to our families, cause they've been used to see us like chubbies with a round face and they got a shock on the rapid change ... and more , they're often far from our commitment with sport. Some people around me , told me i was probably anorexic , even my parents which i was living with at this time !! and told me to eat less cause i cost them too much 🤣🤣 how the f**k is that possible ? people are not logic ... Saying i was anorexic at the time i was eating something like 4000 Kcal / day , cooking 300 gr of pasta and 500 Gr of beef every evening !! Litterlay eating like 2 people and they told me i was anorexic 🙄 if you have a target , stick to it , don't worry , your body will tell you if you're going too far.
This spoke to me. As a kid, I was always naturally skinny and young for my grade. This really became an issue around age 13-15. Suddenly I was surrounded by older boys in my grade who physically dwarfed me, and they knew it. They would frequently physically intimidate and mock me because they could. The attention from girls being disproportionately directed to these more physically developed boys was also painfully, and constantly visible as well. This experience “taught” me from an early age that I would never be loved, valued or respected as a man unless I was big and physically powerful. By my mid teens I finally grew to a fairly average 5’10”, and in my 20s I started working out hard and eating as much as I could. I gained 35lbs of muscle and 50lbs total. I would say I look pretty average now and I know I’m physically more capable than most guys I know. People also frequently tell me I’m attractive and say I look just like Hollywood various actors (I get Chris Evans and Paul Walker a lot). People treat me a lot better in general. No one has physically threatened me or commented negatively on my appearance in a very long time. But in my mind, I can never seem to get away from that fear that I’m still that skinny little kid that everyone picks on or ignores.
I was always unhappy with how i looked so i got into lifting at 15. Got into bodybuilding at 20, gear at 25. Now im 30 and look better than I ever dreamed possible. And I still have no self esteem. Sure I feel better than i would if i was fat and out of shape but being fit never helped me with women or tangibly improved any aspect of my life. So now i just keep lifting because its all i know really.
14:20 hits the nail on the head. Skinny wrists paranoia. The goalposts are always moving. Ive been in the gym now for 9 years. Took years to reach goals i had originally wanted to achieve. When i got there i felt great, but the feeling didnt last. Its at that point you need to sit back and ask yourself why am i really doing this? My realtionship with the gym has never been better since admitting i had the problem, and now finally feel as if ive overcome it. I will never be Chris bumstead. Hell ill never be Chris Evans. But there is something to be said striving for self improvement in the gym as it has helped me outside of the gym as well.
30% of women on bumble set their height filter to accept men below 5'11. This is a height FILTER, not just a preference. What is this guy on? He completely underestimates women's pickyness regarding looks
This is spot-on for me and many friends; I think the topic will continue to grow more relevant in the coming years as male-targeted media feels increasingly fixated on the so-called "alpha" attributes like wealth, physical prowess, and lone wolf mentality. In proper balance, being driven and successful, physically fit and active, or independent are all virtuous goals! But nobody seems to be pushing the balance aspect nearly as hard as the others. One of my favorites yet - thanks Chris for sharing and looking forward to seeing you hit 1M and beyond. Well-deserved!
What do you think of my belief that being able to pursue balance is a privilege? I was born into an extremely shitty situation but luckily still in the USA, I’ll spare you the details and boredom, and the idea of finding a balance is so ridiculous I just laugh it off.
Tangentially related... As background, I've always been thin and during adolescence I had been criticized for it. I've never been obsessed with "fixing" my weight but freely admit there are areas that I'd like to see improved. I just know I don't have the discipline to do it. Fast-forward a number of years and I needed a reference image of a figure for drawing. So I took a picture of myself then traced it to get the outline. (That's all I needed was the outline.) Granted the tracing was stylized a bit, but overall I was shocked by how not frail I looked. In fact, my own outline reminded me of a comic-book hero physique (like Spiderman, not the Hulk). My point being, the dissonance between objective and subjective observation of one's self, particularly in the mirror, is hard to perceive and adjust for. By abstracting my body as a drawing, completely eliminating the details of my face, I was able to actually see what I looked like without the years of the "you're too skinny" filter.
I’ve been seeing a lot of news about bodybuilders dying from heart issues and suicide recently and it’s got me highly questioning what I’m doing.. the idea of the Adonis complex came up in a reel today and that brought me here.. I’m only 5 minutes in and I feel like I relate to this more than anything I’ve ever come accross.. I’ve been obsessed with my body since I can remember.. I grew up fat.. luckily I’ve never tried steroids.. although I’ve considered it these news lately have convinced me to just stick to what I’m doing as a habit rather than trying to achieve “perfection”
Now lets go into how culture treats muscularly lean men many times over better than their fat counterparts, and how females focus on 9s and 10s that are lean and muscular and the rest of men are invisible. I think that plays a HUGE role in why this has become a problem.
🙄 This is not true at all. Average and even unattractive and overweight men are dating and marrying every day. Why, because they are dating and marrying their female counterparts. The problem is that most of you guys who say these things want and go after the 22 year old Instagram models who have tons of options. Then you get bitter when they don’t want you. Date women in your own “league “ and you won’t have any problems getting dates.
@@Honeyfaced1 sorry but... there are actual statistics that deal with this that show you are quite wrong. Its true that there are overweight guys getting married. But its also true that statistically something like 50% of people are single and marriages have hit a cliff and have fallen off that cliff and that women statistically in cold hard numbers find 4 out of 5 men unattractive. Women in our own league. lmao. A man that is a 5 - his league are women that are 1s and 2s. There is a whole plethora of hard statistical data on this topic that you actively choose to ignore and live in some fantasy fairy tale world in. Granted a lot of 1s and 2s feel they are 7s and 8s so there is that as well.
I wasn't arguing against that point. This is however a video on MALE bodies and the issue as it impacts MALES and my comments were on why MALES are becoming more and more this. Not females. Not everything has to be about females. If I had said women don't have the same issue, you'd have a point. But I never said that.
I have to say the shift from thinspo to fitspo saved my life kinda, I was underweight and finally gained confidence to eat a lot and lift weights. First I was still obsessed with staying lean, but now I'm bulking. I fit into biggerexia though, always focused on how to gain more muscle and optimize my day and move most of the time etc, lost many friends too... But it's still much better than the state I was in before
I mean, who cares? I'd rather be obsessed with being the best I can be versus out of shape, depressed and not doing my best. I am more confident, I enjoy the challenge, it gives me higher levels of testosterone, people take me more seriously, etc. I have the knowledge to know that some of these photos of other guys would basically be unachievable. We can all go overboard, but I'd rather go overboard with a little unhealthiness in something that tends to be healthy that can still have benefits versus alternatives (social media, alcohol, etc). It's called radical ownership.
@@DoubleOhSilver Eh, there's a very high likelihood you are doing it sub-optimally. Eating "like a pig" is very much not required for the vast majority of people. Try eating 30-40 grams of protein spaced 4-6 hours apart, 3 times per day. Then make sure you're training intensely, that means you should be flat out shaking with exhaustion at the end of your 3rd or 4th set on each muscle group, moderate to extreme burning/tearing sensation (in the muscle, not joints or sensitive areas). 95% of people don't train for shit, they're just wasting time going through the motions without feeling them.
On the other hand, diet and slinging weights around at the gym is a cure low self esteem etc for a damned sight more people than those who acquire ‘body dysmorphia’. This ‘warning’ seems a bit like the crabs in the bucket thing.
Great interview, Chris ! It's good to know men struggle too with their bodies. I've been through so many transformations myself and changed my training plans and different peaks. Likewise Chris i look back and think the same ! 😊
i haven't watched the whole video but i want to say that I went through a time when I was in a kind of mental breakdown and didn't really eat anything for like 3 months and ended up losing maybe 100-120 lbs, and halfway through it, people were giving me compliments about my weight loss who were not aware of the mental problems I was having. Only until I started looking like a halloween skeleton did people start to realize something was wrong and started to question my behavior. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between a healthy behavior and a dangerous psychosis.
My muscle dysmorphophobia startrd when i was 20 and for the first time i started working out. Then i noticed my body was not symmetrical - my right side is a tad bit bigger than my left side ( pecs, biceps and shoulder!) For years, i couldn't accept that in me and stopped working out all together. I just dont focus on it anymore cause i realized it was stealing my happiness and only crrating a weird obsession in me.
Absolutely wild take. Scott is one of the world’s leading clinical psychiatry researchers on this topic. Is his stellar academic career less legitimate because he’s got a jawline?
Well I didn't expect to be personally attacked like this ... hahah. I stopped and wrote down the quote from @43:50, that is the nail on the head right there. This and the analogy of climbing the wrong mountain of values, from MW 621 with David Laid (Still surprises me how articulate he is) really resonates. The fine line between simply existing and actually living. Food for Thought!
I struggle with this. Always been a thin, lanky dude and it's always bothered me. Nowadays I'm in really good shape from my job. I have low body fat, lift a lot, do a ton of calisthenics, and run a ton but no matter how much muscle i put on, i always feel like a string bean.
Yet another one that hits home. Never been jacked persay, so if I had anything it's, probably more body than muscle dysmorphia. But, have always been on a consistent workout schedule since college/uni (20 years ago). The only things that stop me are illness and injury. Was fat growing up in a time where people let you know about it lol. Even though I've been lean or at least somewhat built for decades. I still cringe for a split second before taking off my shirt at the beach ⛱️. I even felt it a little when he said "beach" lol. Edit: Had to try and edit bc RUclips started showing a different username for some reason
So why do we debunk POC representation if unattainable white male bodies are a concern? This guy clearly made a case for diversity for everyone including white males of normal proportion
Unfortunately, P size anxiety will be an increasing issue in the future because lots of pre-puberty boys are seeing pron more and more and as such would have built up certain expectations by the time those hormones kick in
Because we use Hollywood actors as a frame of reference. Then we have Instagram influencers that use steroids but tell the public they are completely free from steroid use. So our idea of what the male body is supposed to look like is incorrect. We are all trying to chase a body that in unobtainable naturally.
Corporations often make us feel that we are never good enough. Some companies have a slogan: "Never be satisfied".They keep moving the goalposts to make us work harder and achieve more, to make us feel that we are never good enough and that we can always do better. Unfortunately, this leads to burnout and high turnover.
15:15, I’m not sure that’s quite right. I’d say that for most men we can rely on our fitness and control what we put in our bodies; the rest of life happens to us and around us. So, whilst it’s an element of control, I’d say it’s more akin to having a calm centre to hurricane of your life. It’s not about a false fallacy where you think it’ll solve your insecurities, instead it’s acting as a reliable staging ground for you to build your life around.
@@rjim1Yes, and no. I'm pretty much always the biggest guy in the room, but I also have very high bone density. Most people would put me at 210-200. My best was 8% at 205. I felt like a walking statue. Carved from stone with utmost care and precision. Very addicting.
@@ilikecommenting6849 that's impressive and takes some real work and dedication so fair play to you mate! I've got pretty bad arthritis that isn't getting any better so my days of trying to get bigger are over but I just do what I can to keep lean and maintain functional strength as those two things allow me to keep active and not give up and waste away in a corner somewhere.
I haven't yet listened to it, but let's not blame men for this. Women literally consider Chris Bumstead offseason as a "dad bod". The expectations on us from the opposite sex have just gone hyperbolic. Men's expectations on female bodies aren't exceptionally high, but gay men in the fashion industry and other women are the ones giving women unfair and unrealistic standards, not straight men.
When I think about it. I always had a form of muscle dismorphia. I remember going on 6km runs around a lake near my place in order to lose some weight. I was in the 5th grade so around 10 years old. Unfurtunately I'm now in my 30s and nothing has changed on that front for me. Throughout my life I was never really satisfied with the shape of my body. And I gain weight so easily. For example, I took a pause of 2 weeks from my workout routine and I gained 5kg. In just 2 weaks, my whole body changed and it is driving me crazy
Sounds like you might have an eating disorder. You shouldn't have to do cardio to not gain that much weight. Lower your calorie intake. Check out what amount of calories you need with calorie calculator.
The Brofessor said it best many years ago: "The day you started lifting is the day you became forever small, cause you will never be as as big as you want to be"
I'm unhappy with my body because I have more fat on me than I want, I'm out of shape, and I want to be healthier. I don't need to look like Adonis, I just want to be a little healthier and more fit.
Get Denmo on the Podcast, broooo, he’s had a video(the bad things about the hookup culture)mentioning about you that too much statistics are being discussed and not much actual advice had been given on the pod. So please collaborate with him on a pod, it’ll be worth it!!!! Denmoooooo!!!
I used to (and still do to a degree) huge body image issues. I was chronically skinny as a kid and teen and even in my early 20s, and I got teased and criticized for it. I started to gain weight and put on muscle in my 20s due to life style changes, but it was never enough. I didn't realize how good of shape I was in until I started eating more to cope, and gained too much weight. I feel better about my body now that I've worked through my mental issues more, but its still there. Currently working on getting my eating in check now lol
Lol I see so many gym bros lifting to get chicks only to get complimented mostly by other men. Then some skinny kid with a vape is pulling 9s left and right.
My bet? Men know innately that we are suppose to be protectors and warriors. How exactly are you suppose to do that while being frail or weak? Are we really going to pretend, that people back in the day weren't jacked or physically fit? If you weren't you DIED.
They didn’t have the food availability to be above lean and fit. Very few were “jacked” in the sense that we use that word now. Spartans for instance would have their shield arm larger than their sword arm.
My dysmorphia switch flipped about 10 years ago when I started getting unprompted attention from attractive women. I was a fat uhgo back in high school and collage. Got in shape, started getting attention. I basically have zero discipline still to this day but that attention /flirtation is motivation enough that I go on cycles of hyper chad-style diet and exercise followed by depression induced binge eating/purging. I’m pretty sure I’m bulimic but I don’t even know what bulimia means because it’s awareness has fallen off the map. I’m pretty black-pilled on this topic. In shape=female attention out of shape=friend zoned, and nothing else matters. I’m probably below average in intelligence, extroversion, and conscientiousness. So, all I have going for me is my looks.
Nice man. I'm still waiting for the attraction. I've got a very nice physique and insertions, still get no attention but I have faith the grind will pay off. I used to be super skinny (probably 110 pounds at 5'7) and now weigh 150 at around the same body fat.
There is a fine balance. Many softies or lazy people use these arguments to justify not exercising and saying that it’s a vain thing to do. Just from my personal experience. Exercise is a great thing to do for longevity and mental health. The way you look is a by product. I do see his arguments and have witnessed them myself, but for someone who already has a laundry list of excuses, they might listen to this and it could amplify their cognitive dissonance.
I really don't know if I have muscle dismorphia... As you said: you don't necessarily feel bad about it. But a complete week off training wouldn't be great I can tell
Good interview, but I think the focus was too much on muscles and height, what about facial features? I have had issues accepting the way my ears look since I was a teenager for example.
I think scott made a interesting point at the end. Biceps and fat, you can change. You cant change you penis-size and you cant really blame yourself for having a small penis. The fact that you can actually do something about something you dont like, but havent done it, probabbly adds to the dissatisfaction.
Look around a supermarket in an average day. Perfectionism is not the problem. In a world of obesity, most people good do with a bit of misery about their bodies
I am 5'5" and 58 years old. Got messed with some about my height. I have always tried to be the best man I can be and just deal with it. The best thing about it has been beating the bag out of bigger dudes who thought small stature mean fear and weakness. To younger shorter dudes: Play the cards you have to the best of your ability and have no fear. Most men are cowards and will screw with guys they think are afraid. 99% of the time they back down when you stand up. As far as the 1% , be ready to deal whatever you got to. Eye gouge , bite , but win.
I'm a 5'7" woman and guys wouldn't date me back in the day bc they were concerned about their height relative to mine. I didn't even care about height, but now I feel like I need someone taller just to avoid the awkwardness of short kings
Men are unhappy when their bodies don’t provide the energy to deal with immediate life obstacles, commanding the local physical environment at will. Power is reward.
Main body dysmorphia is with teeth, but second is skinny for me, I'm just not about to drop 3200$ per tooth that breaks or root canal this or that recommended. Denture tech is cheap and fixes the problem and lifetime savings can be compared to an extra vehicle or two over your lifetime.
This was a really balanced, level headed podcast and I really enjoyed it too many pods are painting women as shallow vapid a-holes who want 6 pack, 6ft tall and 6 figures, but it's great listening to somebody who has done the research tell us otherwise.
This is so under talked about (in men's case). I guess in my case Id be on the opposite end though in terms body and self image issues when it comes to guys, but parallel when it comes to girls (generally speaking, I know both can be on either regardless of gender, this is a human problem first and foremost not a gender one as most are). People always assume this is something only women struggle but in my case thats definitely not true. I never wanted to be big or strong and always preferred to be skinnier. Which I defnitely am, people would probably say yes to do if you asked about me, but to me it was never enough and its something I still struggle with. Most poeple would probably be sursprised and think I meant to wanted to be bigger if I mentioned I had body image issues, but for me it was never about being not big enough, but preferring to be skinnier in spite of the fact that I definitely already am pretty skinny and light for my height. Nervosa isnt something Id wish on anyone.
The whole comment about having a goal then just feeling happy about it is extremely naive. Anyone will tell you ultimate success in any arena often feels hollow in the moment. I think a better framing is who looks back fondly on the journey that got them there, and who is still bitter and angry when arriving at their destination
So many excuses made. People act like wanting to constantly improve is a problem. Sure if it is negativity impacting your psychology that isn't helpful. But these days too many people that don't want to put in the work say stuff along these lines to cope.
What do i do if i have all these syptoms, the mental torment and constant thought about it, but im to unmotivated to even begin to work out because showing my body at the gym is to embarresing?
Oh! Another label for not accepting the challenge of being a man. Wake up instead of being a victim. Nobody goes through life without obstacles and pain. That's how you learn. Also, stop the eternal narcissistic focus on yourself. That's what makes you weak. Have a goal.
@@TuscanBrick this goes for BOTH genders. Women have been turned into victims too. Now they're bullying everyone else for their misery. Psychotherapy is a gigantic scam to weaken and isolate all. Wake the fuck up! Who would you be if they weren't telling you all the time that there is something missing in you?
As a teenager I was so ashamed of my body that I was terrified of anyone seeing me without a shirt on, and it was a huge motivator at the time to lift weights, but overall I see my gym journey as a positive, I still am not entirely happy with how I look but not even remotely to that extreme.
Ha! 😆 Yeah, I used to roam around high school wearing a wool jumper in the middle of Sydney summertime, probably to hide my slight, pale frame (to discourage predation). I think some people thought I was a junkie (trying to cover up "tracks") or possibly "gay", but because I liked metal (played guitar), hung around some of the more robust fellows, and had a lack of mannerisms stereotyped at the time as "gay" (1990's), people could not be sure. As I approached my late teens, my peers at the time became suspect (I never had a girlfriend, was not assertive in seeking female sexuality, and I disclosed some of my same sex preadolescence activities with an older, much larger male...). Around this time I lost contact with these "friends." Interestingly, during my teenage years I did appreciate the female form sexually, but lacked the assertiveness to initiate anything (which I believe kept me out of trouble, therefore was a sensible choice, in hindsight, because I lacked the finesse to pull that off, so to speak 😄) As I aged it was easier/safer to just "hook up" with other dudes. When in a club or bathhouse, I did not have to worry about some fellow running off to security/staff, because I accidently knocked my hand across their thigh, or something 🙄. I got into the whole body size obsession through my 20's and 30's, because I learned that there is something wrong about being thin (there isn't) as a male, and possibly to appease/impress my late father, who (understandably, as a man who enjoyed his Clint Eastwood movies) was thoroughly upset (ashamed?) when his pale, gangly, runty only son, was yet again, whinging and whining, in the family living room, at his discontent of being physically and mentally defeated by some other mans kid. I'm in my mid 40's now, in a female dominated home, I am challenged by the fact my only nephew, unlike me, was not a small child, and has good potential to build muscle (he is 19) , as he is part Tongan, German, Irish...(Euronesian). He just completely lacks any drive to shape himself up, he would rather sit around eating and gaming. I have gave him some encouraging words, showed him some exercises, but he seems uninterested. I was always reluctant to be "firm", play a fatherly role with him (his father overdosed on H', way back when the kid was a toddler) because I never wanted kids (not interested in female intimacy) and did not want to encourage anyone "setting" me up to "lead" (more like LARP) for some women, for the sake of duty, race/ethnicity, and to appease my health compromised, aging mother, NO! I also wonder that if I was more firm with my nephew (which I'm sure he would not appreciate since I'm not even his father), he would accuse me as being "racist", simply because I set standards. This is my "headf*ck" right here, since I'm full European. I avoid talking much or thinking about his late father, because I admittingly did not appreciate him becoming an irresponsible father with my younger sister (who I failed to protect, when we were young). My nephew is also learning challenged. At 19, he could not tell you his address if asked, so he is no intellectually gifted (I'm not either), as such, weight training/exercise, would be more benefical/redeeming for him, rather than me, as I'm naturally predisposed to being of slight build (I'm now ~ 1.82cm @~ 60kg) and better redeemed through intellectual exercise/abilities. Quite a ramble here, I know 😃😄 Excuse my grammatical errors. 👍
70% of Americans are overweight or obese. I'd say we need more role models of physical fitness, not less. But yes there are a few people who overdo it.
I can go back to being younger but I will say most vivid was being 9 years old and a fatboy. I wore a big jacket all year because of how much I hated my body. It gets hot in June wearing a jacket people! 😂ok last edit, i regained in my late 20s after getting married, then lost again a few years back. Loose skin is much worse now, so for youngsters It is ABSOLUTELY better to loose the weight earlier on!
Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than RUclips by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw. Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:40 What is Muscle Dysmorphia?
04:53 Attaching Self-Worth to How Your Body Looks
12:29 What is Causing These Disorders?
21:55 How Body Dysmorphia Can Seem Like a Good Thing
28:26 Social Media’s Impact on How We View Ourselves
35:48 Cultural Trends Impacting Our View of Male & Female Bodies
42:24 Is There Such a Thing as Business & Lifestyle Dysmorphia?
47:43 Scott’s Grindr Study of Dysmorphia in Gay Men
57:27 What Men Worry About Most with their Bodies
1:05:00 Where to Find Scott
just do Kinobody
In the US, 74% of the population is overweight or obese. Combined with seeing only the best male physiques (females get a pass...body positivity only applies to women). Men have never been so far from the ideal male body, 60 years ago, what percentage of the population was overweight.
Underweight was a problem. During the draft for ww2 there were a lot of men who were underweight. men gained weight at bootcamp.
Just watch some old footage of street scenes from the 50's or 60's. Not a single fat person.
You need to actually consider what is different then it hits you.
I can’t be an A plus student so I’ll flunk the class instead? How does that make any sense? Sure, they may be guys upset with seeing images of jacked guys. But it is not society’s fault that you let yourself get overweight.
@@michaelblazin4093 actually, society embraced consumerism which lead to the mass production of unbelievable amounts of highly addictive highly caloric food. You can almost get fat buy slipping up and getting used to the readily available food. And a lot of people do not necessarily have the smarts or suspicion to be careful around food.
My grandmother's generation (ww2 generation) all went crazy for John Wayne. Dude is barrel chested and leathery. But the ladies loved that guy
Mr. Williamson: A very vulnerable, empathic treatment of a legit problem that doesn't get enough attention--absent yours. And as a woman, I found it eye-opening; we're not the only ones who suffer from these insecurities. Gonna share this episode with the men in my life. Thank you!
I'd wager most men in your life are well aware and can tell you more about this issue than you may think. It's just that we're in that culture that tells me to suck-it-up and not complain, so to many, men's issues just don't exist (not saying this is you).
@@0rnery0verwatch Thanks for the perspective, Ornery. I hope that the more folks talk about this stuff, the better-off we’ll all be in the end.🤞
@@kimdecker8901 Women don't want men to open up to them about their problems, that's why men don't do it. We've had to learn that the hard way, from experience. Women want the man to be the 'rock'. If the man is constantly bringing up his insecurities and self esteem issues, the woman will eventually leave him.
By the way, all the men I know do talk about these issues, just not with women.
The fact that you said 'I found it eye opening, we're not the only ones who suffer from these insecurities', proves my point. You didn't even realise men would have these type of issues because you've never even given it a thought.
@@PB22559Or because they don't talk about it with women.
Please do you might save a life.
Thank you for this episode. This hits so hard in my mind and clarifies a lot of things I’ve felt for most of my life since the age of 12. Now at 37, I still feel these feelings. I’ve always felt smaller than everyone else and looked like shit, yet I have dude’s bigger than me in the gym saying they wish they looked like me. 5’9” at 165-170lb and 12% BF consistently for years. I would see a picture of myself out on the beach and notice that I did look good. But when I looked in the mirror I saw that 12 year old getting picked on in grade school. Then December of last year I started having issues with heart rate and blood pressure which quickly spiraled. Months go by and no answer from doctors. Wasn’t able to workout for 6 months. Then got diagnosed with dysautonomia. Now I’m 149lbs and would give anything to have that 15-20lbs back and just enjoy it. I have a long recovery, but it has taken something like this chronic condition to humble me and become more comfortable in my own skin. However, people that knew me for being very fit, when I see them now after not seeing them for months, they point out how much weight I’ve lost. Total mind fuck.
just do Kinobody
You got COVID vacc?
I was a competitive bodybuilder for a decade from 16-26. I had this issue to a degree after meeting my wife who supported my competing but made sure I knew she was with me because she thought I was a good man not that I looked good with my clothes off. Also getting seriously injured and realizing my life didn’t end when I shrank helped me out things into perspective. Now I still enjoy training but only because I enjoy moving weights and have a much healthier relationship with food
well done mate. Glad you're healthy and happy 👍
just do Kinobody
As an adolescent and right up to my 30s, this was me (I'm now 43). I was an extremely skinny kid; other kids would do the wrist thing and put their fingers round it; they called me 'matchstick' or 'sticky' (a riff on my name). It didn't really help that when I hit 14 I shot up and was 6' 1" by the time I was 15 - yes I was tall, but I was skinny with it. I was always conscious of how 'inferior' I looked by being skinny, even under 10 years old (other boys reminded me of it daily) , but it wasn't until I was 18/19 that I decided to try and do something about it by going to the gym. This wasn't because others pressurised me to do it; by then I was part of an 'alternative' friend group who didn't care what you looked like, but I still felt I was inferior. I still got teased by others outside my friend group. The trouble is, my physiology (like many other slimmer people's) isn't genetically 'programmed' to gain muscle (something I found out much later in life). I did six months at the gym and yes I put on some muscle, but not much and I gave up about 6 months later.
I tried again in my early 20s by lifting at home, but the same results occurred - I just couldn't gain much muscle. Another attempt when I was in my early 30s was more successful (by this point my metabolic rate had slowed a bit), but I was never 'ripped', just slightly more athletic looking.
Now I'm in my early 40s, things are actually quite different.I'm still slim and I think I always will be, but I'm fit and healthy. Suddenly being tall and slim (I don't refer to myself as skinny any more) is actually a good thing. Many men my age are overweight and unfit and look much older than they are. I'm told I look 30 something! I feel much more confident looking as I do now. It's just a shame that people were so critical when I was younger and that I hated myself so much for the way I looked. I still carry those 'scars' with me today and I will never be as confident as my peers, but it has got better as I've got older. I've grown into my body so to speak.
Yep, I'm 44 and had similar experiences that you described, although was hampered from exercise between ages 11 and 21 due to a chronic illness.
I've now been working out regularly for just over 5 years, but still feel way too skinny. I'm giving myself until I turn 45 to see how I feel, then who knows where I'll turn. After watching this podcast I might turn to therapy.
It's nice to see so many other guys who also went and go through this. For girls it's a compliment to be skinny but as a guy it can be pretty awful as people will shamelessly humiliate you in public. I had to lift weights in front of my parents as their insecurities carried over to us and it didn't do anything even with HGH. Still a twig but in shape, couldnt get myself to take my shirt off around the pool on vacation around my cousins who are all body builders
I was small and skinny and was terrorized in jr high. In freshman year , I smashed a brick into some dudes head. It stopped for good after that.
@@hamilcarbarca8659 nice. I don't like violence, but I think bullies only understand one language. My son was bullied at school in his teens because of the same issue and they ended up breaking his arm. We pulled him out of that school after that. Can't help thinking if he'd broken one of their noses they might have stopped. I've told my daughter who's still at school that if she gets bullied to kick the bully as hard as possible between the legs. I don't care if she gets in trouble for it as bullies don't stop until they get a dose of their own. I know she won't do it as she gentle like my son and me, but hey.
vjust do Kinobody
I knew damn well I had it.
“Your arms look like corn dog sticks”
(Pointing at a stick figure) “it’s a realistic portrait of you”
Got dumped for a bigger better looking guy. I can’t even take two days off from the gym or I feel absolutely terrible and I feel skinny even though I haven’t lost anything.
You dodged a bullet with that one.
Jeez 🙈🙈 that was nasty and count yr blessings
For me it was "your arms are like tennis balls, mine are like rugby balls". And "you need to get some meat on you" was a classic
Dude I have it too- but we have all been dumped. Remember u dodges a bullet. You are better off without her. please don’t waste your time beating yourself up. Go enjoy your life and find someone who values you for you.
@@brendanarthur5177 oh nah, dating isn’t on the table for me lol. I don’t even like myself, nor can I speak to women who actually (clearly) find me attractive. In definitely dying single lmao.
The only thing that bothers me now is that women are being fed that they deserve to have an Adonis of a man despite being a tub of lard. There is a massive expectation imbalance. YASS Queen!!! You deserve it!
😂 so true
Women have been dealing with men expecting what men to look a certain way for much longer. I’m not dismissing your feelings. I’m just pointing out the similarities that exist and how both sexes have suffered from what’s expected.
Most women can't understand what's truly sexy about a man. Only other men do. Cry about it but it's so true
@SuperSarahbop you make a good point and I agree historically that is the case. I think that my point is that it doesn’t serve most women well to expect the 1% chad to stay with her after he beds her. I think dating apps have ruined most men’s self esteem and distorted most women’s sense of options.
Ever reject a woman? Best feeling ever to be the one rejecting.
I've researched this a few years ago from when I started getting into the gym and building up from being skinny. This video articulates this soo well. Thanks for the upload.
There is a serious double standard right now in Hollywood in terms of acceptable body representation. In the most recent Thor movie they literally photoshopped Chris Heimsworth's back to look more muscular. Imagine if they editted Natalie Portman's boobs to look bigger. Ridiculous. This is just part of the trend that made Conan the Barbarian the stock wild man look, but Red Sonja's design is completely unacceptable (by modern standards).
What are you talking about. They made thor fat. Artificially
@@cricket12ish That's avengers. Not the latest Thor movie. In that Avengers movie you still had Captain America.
@@tempsoda Nowadays you often hear "real women don't look like that" when it comes to movies or games. I'm sure it's still an ongoing problem but at least it's recognize. The same courtesy isn't extended to men.
@@brianmeen2158And putting on height is impossible but that's expected too.
@@tempsoda I've heard of photoshopping and airbrushing for magazines. And of course makeup and such before getting on the screen. But this Thor incident is of note because it's the first time I've heard of them specifically enhancing a body part in an actual big budget movie. Especially in the modern era when it's supposed to be all about body positivity. An idea that's often pushed by companies like Disney. Again, can you imagine if they digitally enhanced Natalie Portman's chest or butt? There would be crazy amounts of backlash.
1. Love who you are right now.
2. All of your competition SHOULD BE with yourself. Strive to be the version of yourself in the future who you would be proud of if you time traveled and met yourself.
3. No matter how bad you THINK you are now, unless your situation is GROSSLY out of control, you will eventually look back at pictures or whatever and realize you WISHED you could be that again.
Time has hands. Give it long enough and eventually you'll wish you could trade back all the time you spent worrying about your insecurities to just BE that version of yourself again.
It's interesting to see a lot of comment talking about how this is just a talk about fat acceptance men's division. It's not. Yes in the US/Canada/UK/Australia more men than ever are obese but this conversation is more a focus on the men who are already dialed in on their health who feel like they will never be enough when they are already enough. This is a conversation about already healthy men not feeling adequate.
I'm a bulimic woman. I gained a ton of weight from binge eating without purging and became obese. I knew I was fat and it made me uncomfortable but I didn't really have body dysmorphia because my self image was in line with reality. I've lostmost of the weight, I workout a lot and I fit in a size 4 now. I still see myself as I was at a size 16 and that is body dysmorphia. I eat at an extreme deficit to try and be smaller even though everyone keeps telling me that I'm in my best ever shape. That is what they are talking about here.
It's horrible that more people have to experience this, especially healthy people who are already fine. It's horrible that men now feel the need to do dangerous and toxic things to fit an ideal that just doesn't typically naturally exist. Really good episode and more people need to speak on men with body dysmorphia and eating disorders.
just do Kinobody
A couple of years ago i was shredded sub 8% bodyfat and still felt fat, looking back it't actually insane. I had 0 energy and was still trying to cut down, getting up at 2am to go to the gym before work and fasting constantly. Not healthy, thankfully i can see the shape im in and appreciate it. Thanks for the video!
vjust do Kinobody
I'm mini David Gogogins and I would like to answer your question What do you do when your life comes to halt?
I simply don't workout in the morning but I still read Daily Stoic I still meditate and journal every day.
I'm laying on my back -day 9 -nasty fracture. It's the Stoic philosophy that carries me through the good times and bad times. It turned out I'm not BS. Although my injury is bad I know I'll be back and I find the way to enjoy life. I even call it blessing in disguise. My mind is mine. I even went through morphine withdrawals 3 days ago as I'd rather suffer pain then loose clarity of my mind.
In a way all of my training and lifestyle was preparing me for this moment, and I delivered. So I'll be back stronger then every, maybe even reborn.
Amor fati
PS surgery on Wednesday
PPS your podcasts means the world to me, thank you 46:10
I don't even have to watch this. Its because we are all constantly told we aren't good enough or are too much. We are never just accepted as people, only for what we provide. So we try our best to improve ourselves so that we can provide for everyone except ourselves.
just do Kinobody
If you are unhappy with how you look it really isn't hard to get into the gym for a few hours a week. I'm glad that I'm constantly exposed to men much greater than myself, It gives me something to aspire to. Saying that however, I don't compare myself to them I compare myself to the person I used to be.
Use that competitive spirit for good. Pour into yourself...overflow it. Try not to obsess over it. Often times, we are our own worst enemies. You will be alright.😊
just do Kinobody
I am a 54 YO former rugby player 6' 2" tall, a lean 195lbs. I am FINALLY living in the Body I always knew I should have, could have. It may sound silly, but I use the statues of men from ancient Greece and Rome for inspiration as they depict true Natural, healthy, strong physiques. I avoid the Magazines, the Societal pressures, the BS on Instagram etc.... I also balance body and mind.... it took me 48 years of life to understand this. I am stronger, fitter and of clear mind.
Wow.....A REAL podcast containing REAL sometimes BRUTALLY honest information that needs to be heard ....... Thank You.... The truth eventually rises to the top.
I didn’t realise how much of a issue muscle dysmorphia is for me until I watched this :(
It’ll get easier as you get older. Trust me. WAGMI
@@ChrisWillx cheers Chris, as I get stronger and build more muscle as I get older it should help too😂
@@ChrisWillx So representation does matter? Diversity is good?
@@ChrisWillx Not in my 40-year-old opinion. I care more now than ever.
@@ChrisWillxyou can also work directly on body image rather than waiting and hoping.
Chris, I like your discussions however look at your banner pic on this channel. That is exactly the issue that you are discussing. Why did you choose to display that pic? It's a look at me and see how great I look pic! Also, reflect on the products that sponsor your channel. Many are focused on getting that jacked body. Do you think you are contributing to the problem? I have to call you out and say that these things take our focus away from your message of taking control of one's own life and being the best person we can be. Something to think about.
Personal experience :
Used to be slim from 0 to 8 years old
Then more and more fat from 8 to 16 YO, up to 80 Kg for 1.74 m ( 176 Lbs / 5"85 )
First job at 17 yo => really phisical, lost 8 Kg in a single month, then start body building right after and on the next 4 months lost 8 Kg again ... gone from 80 to 64 Kg , so overall i lost 35 Lbs on less than 6 months ... i spend the next 5 years to lose only 3 more Kg !! and transform the rest of my fat into muscles. ( yes , muscle is way more heavy than fat )
I was slim , 61 Kg for 1.74 m ( 135 Lbs / 5"85 ) , nearly a women weight, i was working out 5 or 6 times a week and running 2 x 10 Km , was strong and fit in my early 20"s ...
Know what ?
i was still looking at this little piece of fat on my 2 lower abs... Just to reach perfection
And so what ? What's the problem with looking for that 6 pack after have been shamed for years by others and you find that inner motivation to achieve it !!
Everyone saying me " you're too slim , you're lean " , even the doctor who said to me i was dismorphophobic ...Truth is i've never been such in a good condition than at this time ... i just naturally have a light skeleton , so 61 Kg affraid people around me as if it was not normal ...and let me tell you , usually we should not listen to our families, cause they've been used to see us like chubbies with a round face and they got a shock on the rapid change ... and more , they're often far from our commitment with sport.
Some people around me , told me i was probably anorexic , even my parents which i was living with at this time !! and told me to eat less cause i cost them too much 🤣🤣
how the f**k is that possible ? people are not logic ... Saying i was anorexic at the time i was eating something like 4000 Kcal / day , cooking 300 gr of pasta and 500 Gr of beef every evening !! Litterlay eating like 2 people and they told me i was anorexic 🙄
if you have a target , stick to it , don't worry , your body will tell you if you're going too far.
This spoke to me. As a kid, I was always naturally skinny and young for my grade. This really became an issue around age 13-15. Suddenly I was surrounded by older boys in my grade who physically dwarfed me, and they knew it. They would frequently physically intimidate and mock me because they could. The attention from girls being disproportionately directed to these more physically developed boys was also painfully, and constantly visible as well.
This experience “taught” me from an early age that I would never be loved, valued or respected as a man unless I was big and physically powerful. By my mid teens I finally grew to a fairly average 5’10”, and in my 20s I started working out hard and eating as much as I could. I gained 35lbs of muscle and 50lbs total.
I would say I look pretty average now and I know I’m physically more capable than most guys I know. People also frequently tell me I’m attractive and say I look just like Hollywood various actors (I get Chris Evans and Paul Walker a lot). People treat me a lot better in general. No one has physically threatened me or commented negatively on my appearance in a very long time.
But in my mind, I can never seem to get away from that fear that I’m still that skinny little kid that everyone picks on or ignores.
I was always unhappy with how i looked so i got into lifting at 15. Got into bodybuilding at 20, gear at 25. Now im 30 and look better than I ever dreamed possible.
And I still have no self esteem. Sure I feel better than i would if i was fat and out of shape but being fit never helped me with women or tangibly improved any aspect of my life. So now i just keep lifting because its all i know really.
14:20 hits the nail on the head. Skinny wrists paranoia. The goalposts are always moving. Ive been in the gym now for 9 years. Took years to reach goals i had originally wanted to achieve. When i got there i felt great, but the feeling didnt last. Its at that point you need to sit back and ask yourself why am i really doing this? My realtionship with the gym has never been better since admitting i had the problem, and now finally feel as if ive overcome it. I will never be Chris bumstead. Hell ill never be Chris Evans. But there is something to be said striving for self improvement in the gym as it has helped me outside of the gym as well.
vjust do Kinobody
30% of women on bumble set their height filter to accept men below 5'11. This is a height FILTER, not just a preference. What is this guy on? He completely underestimates women's pickyness regarding looks
This is spot-on for me and many friends; I think the topic will continue to grow more relevant in the coming years as male-targeted media feels increasingly fixated on the so-called "alpha" attributes like wealth, physical prowess, and lone wolf mentality. In proper balance, being driven and successful, physically fit and active, or independent are all virtuous goals! But nobody seems to be pushing the balance aspect nearly as hard as the others.
One of my favorites yet - thanks Chris for sharing and looking forward to seeing you hit 1M and beyond. Well-deserved!
What do you think of my belief that being able to pursue balance is a privilege?
I was born into an extremely shitty situation but luckily still in the USA, I’ll spare you the details and boredom, and the idea of finding a balance is so ridiculous I just laugh it off.
just do Kinobody
Tangentially related... As background, I've always been thin and during adolescence I had been criticized for it. I've never been obsessed with "fixing" my weight but freely admit there are areas that I'd like to see improved. I just know I don't have the discipline to do it. Fast-forward a number of years and I needed a reference image of a figure for drawing. So I took a picture of myself then traced it to get the outline. (That's all I needed was the outline.) Granted the tracing was stylized a bit, but overall I was shocked by how not frail I looked. In fact, my own outline reminded me of a comic-book hero physique (like Spiderman, not the Hulk). My point being, the dissonance between objective and subjective observation of one's self, particularly in the mirror, is hard to perceive and adjust for. By abstracting my body as a drawing, completely eliminating the details of my face, I was able to actually see what I looked like without the years of the "you're too skinny" filter.
just do Kinobody
I’ve been seeing a lot of news about bodybuilders dying from heart issues and suicide recently and it’s got me highly questioning what I’m doing.. the idea of the Adonis complex came up in a reel today and that brought me here.. I’m only 5 minutes in and I feel like I relate to this more than anything I’ve ever come accross.. I’ve been obsessed with my body since I can remember.. I grew up fat.. luckily I’ve never tried steroids.. although I’ve considered it these news lately have convinced me to just stick to what I’m doing as a habit rather than trying to achieve “perfection”
Now lets go into how culture treats muscularly lean men many times over better than their fat counterparts, and how females focus on 9s and 10s that are lean and muscular and the rest of men are invisible. I think that plays a HUGE role in why this has become a problem.
🙄 This is not true at all. Average and even unattractive and overweight men are dating and marrying every day. Why, because they are dating and marrying their female counterparts. The problem is that most of you guys who say these things want and go after the 22 year old Instagram models who have tons of options. Then you get bitter when they don’t want you. Date women in your own “league “ and you won’t have any problems getting dates.
@@Honeyfaced1 sorry but... there are actual statistics that deal with this that show you are quite wrong. Its true that there are overweight guys getting married. But its also true that statistically something like 50% of people are single and marriages have hit a cliff and have fallen off that cliff and that women statistically in cold hard numbers find 4 out of 5 men unattractive.
Women in our own league. lmao. A man that is a 5 - his league are women that are 1s and 2s.
There is a whole plethora of hard statistical data on this topic that you actively choose to ignore and live in some fantasy fairy tale world in.
Granted a lot of 1s and 2s feel they are 7s and 8s so there is that as well.
This isn't a gendered issue, women also get treated a lot better when they're attractive and thin.
@@Honeyfaced1well put 👍
I wasn't arguing against that point. This is however a video on MALE bodies and the issue as it impacts MALES and my comments were on why MALES are becoming more and more this. Not females.
Not everything has to be about females. If I had said women don't have the same issue, you'd have a point. But I never said that.
I have to say the shift from thinspo to fitspo saved my life kinda, I was underweight and finally gained confidence to eat a lot and lift weights. First I was still obsessed with staying lean, but now I'm bulking. I fit into biggerexia though, always focused on how to gain more muscle and optimize my day and move most of the time etc, lost many friends too... But it's still much better than the state I was in before
Another awesome episode dude, you get more wise and eloquent by each upload man!
I mean, who cares? I'd rather be obsessed with being the best I can be versus out of shape, depressed and not doing my best. I am more confident, I enjoy the challenge, it gives me higher levels of testosterone, people take me more seriously, etc. I have the knowledge to know that some of these photos of other guys would basically be unachievable.
We can all go overboard, but I'd rather go overboard with a little unhealthiness in something that tends to be healthy that can still have benefits versus alternatives (social media, alcohol, etc). It's called radical ownership.
just do Kinobody
If women were more realistic on men's bodies, men would stop caring so much about looking like Chris Hemsworth.
Yet the things everyone has the most control about is being able to reduce body fat and build muscles
Not easy though, I have to eat like a pig to gain muscle 😔
@@DoubleOhSilver I find lowering body fat makes your muscles look way better, no matter how big they are…. Just work with what ya got
@@DoubleOhSilver Eh, there's a very high likelihood you are doing it sub-optimally. Eating "like a pig" is very much not required for the vast majority of people.
Try eating 30-40 grams of protein spaced 4-6 hours apart, 3 times per day. Then make sure you're training intensely, that means you should be flat out shaking with exhaustion at the end of your 3rd or 4th set on each muscle group, moderate to extreme burning/tearing sensation (in the muscle, not joints or sensitive areas).
95% of people don't train for shit, they're just wasting time going through the motions without feeling them.
On the other hand, diet and slinging weights around at the gym is a cure low self esteem etc for a damned sight more people than those who acquire ‘body dysmorphia’. This ‘warning’ seems a bit like the crabs in the bucket thing.
Great interview, Chris ! It's good to know men struggle too with their bodies. I've been through so many transformations myself and changed my training plans and different peaks. Likewise Chris i look back and think the same ! 😊
i haven't watched the whole video but i want to say that I went through a time when I was in a kind of mental breakdown and didn't really eat anything for like 3 months and ended up losing maybe 100-120 lbs, and halfway through it, people were giving me compliments about my weight loss who were not aware of the mental problems I was having. Only until I started looking like a halloween skeleton did people start to realize something was wrong and started to question my behavior. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between a healthy behavior and a dangerous psychosis.
My muscle dysmorphophobia startrd when i was 20 and for the first time i started working out. Then i noticed my body was not symmetrical - my right side is a tad bit bigger than my left side ( pecs, biceps and shoulder!) For years, i couldn't accept that in me and stopped working out all together. I just dont focus on it anymore cause i realized it was stealing my happiness and only crrating a weird obsession in me.
14:30
The wrist thing, god that hit hard. Yeah some of that stuff stays with you.
It's strange to watch two exceptionally attractive men discussing this ...
I'm sorry but exceptionally? Where are you from exactly? 😅
@@wrath231So what...... Does it matter who is giving you the advice etc. They're trying to help and bring light to issues.
Check Chris' background photo xD
@@marcingaladykchrises
Absolutely wild take. Scott is one of the world’s leading clinical psychiatry researchers on this topic. Is his stellar academic career less legitimate because he’s got a jawline?
Another great interview with information I've not heard anywhere else Chris. Top job and hope all is well.
Well I didn't expect to be personally attacked like this ... hahah. I stopped and wrote down the quote from @43:50, that is the nail on the head right there.
This and the analogy of climbing the wrong mountain of values, from MW 621 with David Laid (Still surprises me how articulate he is) really resonates. The fine line between simply existing and actually living.
Food for Thought!
I struggle with this. Always been a thin, lanky dude and it's always bothered me. Nowadays I'm in really good shape from my job. I have low body fat, lift a lot, do a ton of calisthenics, and run a ton but no matter how much muscle i put on, i always feel like a string bean.
Yet another one that hits home. Never been jacked persay, so if I had anything it's, probably more body than muscle dysmorphia. But, have always been on a consistent workout schedule since college/uni (20 years ago). The only things that stop me are illness and injury.
Was fat growing up in a time where people let you know about it lol. Even though I've been lean or at least somewhat built for decades. I still cringe for a split second before taking off my shirt at the beach ⛱️. I even felt it a little when he said "beach" lol.
Edit: Had to try and edit bc RUclips started showing a different username for some reason
So why do we debunk POC representation if unattainable white male bodies are a concern? This guy clearly made a case for diversity for everyone including white males of normal proportion
just do Kinobody
Damn. This episode struck true to me.
Unfortunately, P size anxiety will be an increasing issue in the future because lots of pre-puberty boys are seeing pron more and more and as such would have built up certain expectations by the time those hormones kick in
Because we use Hollywood actors as a frame of reference. Then we have Instagram influencers that use steroids but tell the public they are completely free from steroid use. So our idea of what the male body is supposed to look like is incorrect. We are all trying to chase a body that in unobtainable naturally.
Corporations often make us feel that we are never good enough. Some companies have a slogan: "Never be satisfied".They keep moving the goalposts to make us work harder and achieve more, to make us feel that we are never good enough and that we can always do better. Unfortunately, this leads to burnout and high turnover.
It’s wild to think a few years ago, I was a personal trainer at a high end gym with a beach body
You got this man.
19% isn't that fat, you are within 2-3 months of fairly lean.
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what made you stop personal training? just curious
@@missano3856 just do Kinobody
Definitely, Instagram is bad for ones self-esteem. Its hard for young people nowadays.
Great conversation. The discussions at 30:00 and 45:00 particularly hit home.
15:15, I’m not sure that’s quite right. I’d say that for most men we can rely on our fitness and control what we put in our bodies; the rest of life happens to us and around us. So, whilst it’s an element of control, I’d say it’s more akin to having a calm centre to hurricane of your life. It’s not about a false fallacy where you think it’ll solve your insecurities, instead it’s acting as a reliable staging ground for you to build your life around.
Watching this during my daily 3 hour cycling session because I'm 15% bf (230 pounds 5'10) and consider myself chubby.
Wow you must be carrying some serious muscle dude because I am 6' tall, 15% bf and I'm 190lb. Either way 15% bf is definitely not chubby man, no way.
@@rjim1Yes, and no. I'm pretty much always the biggest guy in the room, but I also have very high bone density. Most people would put me at 210-200.
My best was 8% at 205. I felt like a walking statue. Carved from stone with utmost care and precision. Very addicting.
@@ilikecommenting6849 that's impressive and takes some real work and dedication so fair play to you mate! I've got pretty bad arthritis that isn't getting any better so my days of trying to get bigger are over but I just do what I can to keep lean and maintain functional strength as those two things allow me to keep active and not give up and waste away in a corner somewhere.
Great podcast!
I haven't yet listened to it, but let's not blame men for this. Women literally consider Chris Bumstead offseason as a "dad bod". The expectations on us from the opposite sex have just gone hyperbolic. Men's expectations on female bodies aren't exceptionally high, but gay men in the fashion industry and other women are the ones giving women unfair and unrealistic standards, not straight men.
Cbum dad bod 😂 great analogy
When I think about it. I always had a form of muscle dismorphia. I remember going on 6km runs around a lake near my place in order to lose some weight. I was in the 5th grade so around 10 years old. Unfurtunately I'm now in my 30s and nothing has changed on that front for me. Throughout my life I was never really satisfied with the shape of my body. And I gain weight so easily. For example, I took a pause of 2 weeks from my workout routine and I gained 5kg. In just 2 weaks, my whole body changed and it is driving me crazy
You were overeating! Master your eating protocol
Sounds like you might have an eating disorder. You shouldn't have to do cardio to not gain that much weight. Lower your calorie intake. Check out what amount of calories you need with calorie calculator.
@@draggsy2 Thanks for the reply. I booked an appointment with an nutritionist. I hope I can solve my problem once and for all
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@@RR-et6zp thanks for the tip. I will check it out
Finally this gets talked about properly, thank you!
The Brofessor said it best many years ago: "The day you started lifting is the day you became forever small, cause you will never be as as big as you want to be"
thus why lifting for aesthetics is dumb
It's the same thing with art. I think Leonardo da Vinci said "art is never finished, just abandoned"
I'm unhappy with my body because I have more fat on me than I want, I'm out of shape, and I want to be healthier.
I don't need to look like Adonis, I just want to be a little healthier and more fit.
just do Kinobody
So actual muscle dysmorphia is like tripping on psilocybin?
We might as well start diagnosing hyper successful entrepreneurs too.
Get Denmo on the Podcast, broooo, he’s had a video(the bad things about the hookup culture)mentioning about you that too much statistics are being discussed and not much actual advice had been given on the pod.
So please collaborate with him on a pod, it’ll be worth it!!!!
Denmoooooo!!!
I used to (and still do to a degree) huge body image issues. I was chronically skinny as a kid and teen and even in my early 20s, and I got teased and criticized for it. I started to gain weight and put on muscle in my 20s due to life style changes, but it was never enough. I didn't realize how good of shape I was in until I started eating more to cope, and gained too much weight. I feel better about my body now that I've worked through my mental issues more, but its still there. Currently working on getting my eating in check now lol
great topic sir williamson
Lol I see so many gym bros lifting to get chicks only to get complimented mostly by other men. Then some skinny kid with a vape is pulling 9s left and right.
Funny but true
My bet?
Men know innately that we are suppose to be protectors and warriors. How exactly are you suppose to do that while being frail or weak?
Are we really going to pretend, that people back in the day weren't jacked or physically fit? If you weren't you DIED.
They didn’t have the food availability to be above lean and fit. Very few were “jacked” in the sense that we use that word now. Spartans for instance would have their shield arm larger than their sword arm.
''Dysmorphia''..... the latest psychological in word.
My dysmorphia switch flipped about 10 years ago when I started getting unprompted attention from attractive women.
I was a fat uhgo back in high school and collage. Got in shape, started getting attention. I basically have zero discipline still to this day but that attention
/flirtation is motivation enough that I go on cycles of hyper chad-style diet and exercise followed by depression induced binge eating/purging.
I’m pretty sure I’m bulimic but I don’t even know what bulimia means because it’s awareness has fallen off the map.
I’m pretty black-pilled on this topic. In shape=female attention out of shape=friend zoned, and nothing else matters. I’m probably below average in intelligence, extroversion, and conscientiousness. So, all I have going for me is my looks.
At least you’re extremely self aware bro
Also this seems like an above average intelligence comment
Nice man. I'm still waiting for the attraction. I've got a very nice physique and insertions, still get no attention but I have faith the grind will pay off. I used to be super skinny (probably 110 pounds at 5'7) and now weigh 150 at around the same body fat.
Lmaoo the “how are the gays” question got me cackling.. we’re doing ok lmao
There is a fine balance. Many softies or lazy people use these arguments to justify not exercising and saying that it’s a vain thing to do. Just from my personal experience. Exercise is a great thing to do for longevity and mental health. The way you look is a by product. I do see his arguments and have witnessed them myself, but for someone who already has a laundry list of excuses, they might listen to this and it could amplify their cognitive dissonance.
I really don't know if I have muscle dismorphia... As you said: you don't necessarily feel bad about it. But a complete week off training wouldn't be great I can tell
a week off training every month or two is actually beneficial for the body. wouldnt worry about that at all
I dont think you needed the other hour and four minutes of this video, you got it right in the first forty seconds.
Good interview, but I think the focus was too much on muscles and height, what about facial features? I have had issues accepting the way my ears look since I was a teenager for example.
I think scott made a interesting point at the end. Biceps and fat, you can change. You cant change you penis-size and you cant really blame yourself for having a small penis. The fact that you can actually do something about something you dont like, but havent done it, probabbly adds to the dissatisfaction.
Look around a supermarket in an average day. Perfectionism is not the problem. In a world of obesity, most people good do with a bit of misery about their bodies
I am 5'5" and 58 years old. Got messed with some about my height. I have always tried to be the best man I can be and just deal with it. The best thing about it has been beating the bag out of bigger dudes who thought small stature mean fear and weakness. To younger shorter dudes: Play the cards you have to the best of your ability and have no fear. Most men are cowards and will screw with guys they think are afraid. 99% of the time they back down when you stand up. As far as the 1% , be ready to deal whatever you got to. Eye gouge , bite , but win.
This guy just wrote my autobiography for me 🙏
just do Kinobody
I'm a 5'7" woman and guys wouldn't date me back in the day bc they were concerned about their height relative to mine. I didn't even care about height, but now I feel like I need someone taller just to avoid the awkwardness of short kings
Men are unhappy when their bodies don’t provide the energy to deal with immediate life obstacles, commanding the local physical environment at will. Power is reward.
Main body dysmorphia is with teeth, but second is skinny for me, I'm just not about to drop 3200$ per tooth that breaks or root canal this or that recommended. Denture tech is cheap and fixes the problem and lifetime savings can be compared to an extra vehicle or two over your lifetime.
This was a really balanced, level headed podcast and I really enjoyed it too many pods are painting women as shallow vapid a-holes who want 6 pack, 6ft tall and 6 figures, but it's great listening to somebody who has done the research tell us otherwise.
This is so under talked about (in men's case). I guess in my case Id be on the opposite end though in terms body and self image issues when it comes to guys, but parallel when it comes to girls (generally speaking, I know both can be on either regardless of gender, this is a human problem first and foremost not a gender one as most are). People always assume this is something only women struggle but in my case thats definitely not true. I never wanted to be big or strong and always preferred to be skinnier. Which I defnitely am, people would probably say yes to do if you asked about me, but to me it was never enough and its something I still struggle with. Most poeple would probably be sursprised and think I meant to wanted to be bigger if I mentioned I had body image issues, but for me it was never about being not big enough, but preferring to be skinnier in spite of the fact that I definitely already am pretty skinny and light for my height.
Nervosa isnt something Id wish on anyone.
Supplements:
Magnesium carbonate & theonate, L-theanine focus/calm, and fiber.
Recovery:
Inclined Sleep Therapy *free
Exercise:
Rebounder & Isometrics
Food:
Lean chicken replaces unhealthy calories
*Thorough teeth/gum cleaning
-Healthy Old Man
*Olympic rings
Yummy chemicals and irradiated chicken yum, you will probably die before me and ill stick to the arbys thank you.
just do Kinobody
Great podcast. Really had to evaluate some things!
I still can't forgive Chris for wearing Crocs. 😂
The Misc BB forums were legendary
The trolling was unmatched. Imagine if it was active during this woke stuff.
The whole comment about having a goal then just feeling happy about it is extremely naive. Anyone will tell you ultimate success in any arena often feels hollow in the moment. I think a better framing is who looks back fondly on the journey that got them there, and who is still bitter and angry when arriving at their destination
I just woke one day and everyone was on the sauce
just do Kinobody
So many excuses made. People act like wanting to constantly improve is a problem. Sure if it is negativity impacting your psychology that isn't helpful. But these days too many people that don't want to put in the work say stuff along these lines to cope.
I'm not unhappy with my body. I'm 57 and I don't look at it. 🤣😂😃
Wise
"How am I supposed to look like that?" - STOP eating carbs. Done. Next.
Bro characterised my internal state perfectly
What do i do if i have all these syptoms, the mental torment and constant thought about it, but im to unmotivated to even begin to work out because showing my body at the gym is to embarresing?
Realise it's a trick to sell you an idea, and that there are other ways that you can excel
@@williamchamberlain2263 so far i'v just been working out at home, but would ve easier with propper equipment
Yeah from around 1:30 he's describing me very precisely.
Oh! Another label for not accepting the challenge of being a man. Wake up instead of being a victim. Nobody goes through life without obstacles and pain. That's how you learn. Also, stop the eternal narcissistic focus on yourself. That's what makes you weak. Have a goal.
Indeed. You are a MAN, start building shit.
wat
Guys have been like this for ages that why they want to become women "would be so easy just to suck the right dick, I don't want to get a job!" 🤡
@@TuscanBrick this goes for BOTH genders. Women have been turned into victims too. Now they're bullying everyone else for their misery.
Psychotherapy is a gigantic scam to weaken and isolate all. Wake the fuck up! Who would you be if they weren't telling you all the time that there is something missing in you?
@@TuscanBrick lol women have been dealing with a similar kind of thing for a long time but instead of being muscular it’s about being petite
As a teenager I was so ashamed of my body that I was terrified of anyone seeing me without a shirt on, and it was a huge motivator at the time to lift weights, but overall I see my gym journey as a positive, I still am not entirely happy with how I look but not even remotely to that extreme.
Ha! 😆 Yeah, I used to roam around high school wearing a wool jumper in the middle of Sydney summertime, probably to hide my slight, pale frame (to discourage predation). I think some people thought I was a junkie (trying to cover up "tracks") or possibly "gay", but because I liked metal (played guitar), hung around some of the more robust fellows, and had a lack of mannerisms stereotyped at the time as "gay" (1990's), people could not be sure. As I approached my late teens, my peers at the time became suspect (I never had a girlfriend, was not assertive in seeking female sexuality, and I disclosed some of my same sex preadolescence activities with an older, much larger male...). Around this time I lost contact with these "friends." Interestingly, during my teenage years I did appreciate the female form sexually, but lacked the assertiveness to initiate anything (which I believe kept me out of trouble, therefore was a sensible choice, in hindsight, because I lacked the finesse to pull that off, so to speak 😄) As I aged it was easier/safer to just "hook up" with other dudes. When in a club or bathhouse, I did not have to worry about some fellow running off to security/staff, because I accidently knocked my hand across their thigh, or something 🙄. I got into the whole body size obsession through my 20's and 30's, because I learned that there is something wrong about being thin (there isn't) as a male, and possibly to appease/impress my late father, who (understandably, as a man who enjoyed his Clint Eastwood movies) was thoroughly upset (ashamed?) when his pale, gangly, runty only son, was yet again, whinging and whining, in the family living room, at his discontent of being physically and mentally defeated by some other mans kid. I'm in my mid 40's now, in a female dominated home, I am challenged by the fact my only nephew, unlike me, was not a small child, and has good potential to build muscle (he is 19) , as he is part Tongan, German, Irish...(Euronesian). He just completely lacks any drive to shape himself up, he would rather sit around eating and gaming. I have gave him some encouraging words, showed him some exercises, but he seems uninterested. I was always reluctant to be "firm", play a fatherly role with him (his father overdosed on H', way back when the kid was a toddler) because I never wanted kids (not interested in female intimacy) and did not want to encourage anyone "setting" me up to "lead" (more like LARP) for some women, for the sake of duty, race/ethnicity, and to appease my health compromised, aging mother, NO!
I also wonder that if I was more firm with my nephew (which I'm sure he would not appreciate since I'm not even his father), he would accuse me as being "racist", simply because I set standards. This is my "headf*ck" right here, since I'm full European. I avoid talking much or thinking about his late father, because I admittingly did not appreciate him becoming an irresponsible father with my younger sister (who I failed to protect, when we were young).
My nephew is also learning challenged. At 19, he could not tell you his address if asked, so he is no intellectually gifted (I'm not either), as such, weight training/exercise, would be more benefical/redeeming for him, rather than me, as I'm naturally predisposed to being of slight build (I'm now ~ 1.82cm @~ 60kg) and better redeemed through intellectual exercise/abilities.
Quite a ramble here, I know 😃😄
Excuse my grammatical errors.
👍
70% of Americans are overweight or obese. I'd say we need more role models of physical fitness, not less. But yes there are a few people who overdo it.
Bodybuilding Misc was my home 15 years ago
I can go back to being younger but I will say most vivid was being 9 years old and a fatboy. I wore a big jacket all year because of how much I hated my body. It gets hot in June wearing a jacket people! 😂ok last edit, i regained in my late 20s after getting married, then lost again a few years back. Loose skin is much worse now, so for youngsters It is ABSOLUTELY better to loose the weight earlier on!
THE WORLD HAD TURNED
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"Goggins be grindin'" - Scott Griffiths, 2023