I've noticed that I'm becoming increasingly more introverted and socially awkward the older I get. It's very difficult being in many environments that are anti me. I'm trying to figure out ways to handle the rejection that I experience from those that just don't get me. It gets hard sometimes. Thank you for this video. Headed towards a new path of comfortable discomfort.
How to be comfortable with the uncomfortable? 1. Universal Rejection truth: Face the truths. 5 People(who will help you) , 3 Places(where you are accepted), Patience
Love this! Only advice I have to anyone watching is you do not have to have someone to lean on. Sometimes that can turn into a safety net. Learn to love and trust yourself
Instead of my first year being uncomfortable for a long while, it turned into an overwhelming feeling that became part of the uncomfortable so my mindset turned into “none of this people know me as well as I do or the people that knew me in high school, let’s go say hi and give a genuine smile” and here I am in my fourth year, a Vice President for a cultural organization on campus that welcomed me in my first year and have a solid idea of what my dream career would be. I learned to accept the uncomfortableness and do it first and if it didn’t workout (making friends, connections, communicating with professors) then it’s okay. At least I tried :)
This reminds me of a metaphor I saw used. If we are all sticks and our goal is to stand upright. We have three paths. One, you can try your best to do it alone but it would only take a gust of wind to blow you over. Two, you can search for another stick to lean against which may just as easily fall once you lean on it. Or three, you can surround yourself with other sticks leaning against many and when one falls it's fine because you have other supports behind it.
I've learnt after 59 years that there's is not a single good reason to leave my comfort zone...so I don't. I have a phobia of needles and flying so I just stopped flying or having injections. I also hate socialising so I don't...I now turn down all invites to go out, parties, weddings...and my life is so much better for it.
Interesting. I you reinforced the reason why I am totally and completely alone,and yes I am in currently and have been for 2 yrs therapy. My therapist is really good at what he does.
HarlanCohen Thank you for these words. I'm passing through some rough situations in my life, and remember that we need to have people, places and be patient to face these difficulties and get better. I hope this will end, soon or not.
Focus on patience right now. Lean on people who have been through it. Put yourself in places where you can find help and support. It's hard to find clarity when you're in the middle of it. Don't try. Just walk along with the discomfort and it will drift behind you over time. Then you will find clarity.
No, not everyone has people who will always be there for them and no, not everyone has a place they can be comfortable and safe in. This talk is far too simple.
I hear you....I suggest you listen again...he addresses that. Be patient with yourself and listen again and ask yourself questions...you will find your way ....don’t give up
Seek and you shall find. Probably don't put yourself out there and it sounds like you just feel sorry for yourself for not having that but the whole idea is for you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable put yourself out there. Stop waiting for things to come to you, go look for them!
Well, mary jane is a good one. Best friend ever!!! lol. Actually, it's not bad--but I noticed it haltered my social skills and angst. I quit a month ago to grow in social aspects.
+Davis Nottingham Places are locations (virtual included) where you can find connection, community, answers and support. Think about places where you can live, learn, lead, love, sweat, play, and pray. There are places with open access (all inclusive, spiritual and community based), places you have to be invited to get access (exclusive clubs, organizations, activities), and places where you pay (can be open access or exclusive). There are always places where we can find connection, community, and answers, but we need to put ourselves in these places. Another way to find places is to identify people who reflect your core values, interests and passions. Identify the places they have found their connection and community and let this lead you. Hope this helps.
Not everyone has people who will always be there for them and no, not everyone has a place they can be comfortable and safe in. This talk is far too simple
"We suffer more in imagination than in reality" ~Seneca
I've noticed that I'm becoming increasingly more introverted and socially awkward the older I get. It's very difficult being in many environments that are anti me. I'm trying to figure out ways to handle the rejection that I experience from those that just don't get me. It gets hard sometimes. Thank you for this video. Headed towards a new path of comfortable discomfort.
Same, i’m turning 13, but i’m socially awkward and my mum notices as well.
I know how you feel
Thank you for sharing. You are much loved.
Omg same
It’s crazy how many people feel like this. You’re not alone!
Face the uncomfortable. Yes that is key.
He's an amazing speaker. Clear and concise.
oOoO what do when you have to go back and look for the right things for the future and iPhone and iPhone and your iPad app
How to be comfortable with the uncomfortable?
1. Universal Rejection truth: Face the truths. 5 People(who will help you) , 3 Places(where you are accepted), Patience
Love this! Only advice I have to anyone watching is you do not have to have someone to lean on. Sometimes that can turn into a safety net. Learn to love and trust yourself
Gosh this was my college experience, I didn’t know that you were supposed to be okay with being uncomfortable.
nahh definitely not if its your romate getting "entertained" right in top of you.
If you're doing mental math of everything that goes wrong, your life will always be negative
facts
good words
I don't agree
Facing the uncomfortable is a way to learn and grow.
Instead of my first year being uncomfortable for a long while, it turned into an overwhelming feeling that became part of the uncomfortable so my mindset turned into “none of this people know me as well as I do or the people that knew me in high school, let’s go say hi and give a genuine smile” and here I am in my fourth year, a Vice President for a cultural organization on campus that welcomed me in my first year and have a solid idea of what my dream career would be. I learned to accept the uncomfortableness and do it first and if it didn’t workout (making friends, connections, communicating with professors) then it’s okay. At least I tried :)
I finished watching this video uncomfortably.
That was a wonderful share! So relatable....thank you and I’m passing it along. cheers!
One of the best talks I watched after break up which actually was giving guidance and solutions. Thank you 🙏🏽
Well said, People, patience & places I am stuck in wrong deadliest circle
I really needed to listen to this so badly!!!
Ashley Coronado ask to borrow his ears then
This reminds me of a metaphor I saw used.
If we are all sticks and our goal is to stand upright. We have three paths.
One, you can try your best to do it alone but it would only take a gust of wind to blow you over.
Two, you can search for another stick to lean against which may just as easily fall once you lean on it.
Or three, you can surround yourself with other sticks leaning against many and when one falls it's fine because you have other supports behind it.
A lot of people in this world need to learn how to love everyone. Love is the key to everything. God Bless us all 🥰😇
The first 30 seconds of this resonated with me so hard. I was that college student.
I've learnt after 59 years that there's is not a single good reason to leave my comfort zone...so I don't. I have a phobia of needles and flying so I just stopped flying or having injections. I also hate socialising so I don't...I now turn down all invites to go out, parties, weddings...and my life is so much better for it.
Sounds depressing
Interesting. I you reinforced the reason why I am totally and completely alone,and yes I am in currently and have been for 2 yrs therapy. My therapist is really good at what he does.
That guy is so amazing. So likeable
THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY, INSIGHTFUL, AND INSPIRATIONAL VIEWPOINT, AND MIGHT BE WELL WORTH REVISITING, SOMETIMES! THANK YOU, HARLAN!!!!
Who are your FIVE people? Where are your THREE places? How patient are you?
HarlanCohen Thank you for these words. I'm passing through some rough situations in my life, and remember that we need to have people, places and be patient to face these difficulties and get better. I hope this will end, soon or not.
HarlanCohen i'm lebanese and i'm comfortable, lonely, and broken..i have some acne that low my self-esteem..
umcomfortable*
Thank you👍
Thank you so much. I needed to hear this.
I had to listen to it twice to get it. It is a great topic.
I am still trying to find my place. Wish me luck.
You’ll Worry Less About What People Think of You When You Realize How Seldom They Do
Love this speech
Thank you Harlan
It’s hard for me to get comfortable. I’m in the middle of it right now..
Focus on patience right now. Lean on people who have been through it. Put yourself in places where you can find help and support. It's hard to find clarity when you're in the middle of it. Don't try. Just walk along with the discomfort and it will drift behind you over time. Then you will find clarity.
HarlanCohen thanks I needed that!
Reminds me of the Fresh Prince episode where Carlton got rejected from the fraternity.
brave talk!
No, not everyone has people who will always be there for them and no, not everyone has a place they can be comfortable and safe in. This talk is far too simple.
If you don't have them, go out there and find them. You can move and do something about it. You're not a tree!
@@antonczerny hard to find those people who care
Circus system: these are stories you tell yoursel. Change the story and see what happens
I hear you....I suggest you listen again...he addresses that. Be patient with yourself and listen again and ask yourself questions...you will find your way ....don’t give up
Seek and you shall find. Probably don't put yourself out there and it sounds like you just feel sorry for yourself for not having that but the whole idea is for you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable put yourself out there. Stop waiting for things to come to you, go look for them!
people, places, petient
Who are my people ?
Where am I places?
am I patient enough to get there?
WOW!!! THANK YOU
Thank you! Gina in lights
Thank you .
I have trouble getting the concept.
Which part is hard to understand? Would be happy to clear it up. Thanks
@@HelpMeHarlan nomination to do so is that
Great talk
WoW powerful 👍
I thought the two types are people are: Those who try to pigeon hole people and those that do not.
It was Great
Well, mary jane is a good one. Best friend ever!!! lol. Actually, it's not bad--but I noticed it haltered my social skills and angst. I quit a month ago to grow in social aspects.
95% unconfortable all the week expect weekend. What do you think?
What happens when u have to go back to the past to bring u to the present?
why do you tell people you recognize them when in fact you do not?
Hahaha That's what you get from this video. 😃
It makes people feel good. He wants others to feel important. He meant so much to them so he doesn't want to make them feel bad.
it's called being nice
so, he run for them from the uncomfortable
What do you mean by places?
+Davis Nottingham Places are locations (virtual included) where you can find connection, community, answers and support. Think about places where you can live, learn, lead, love, sweat, play, and pray. There are places with open access (all inclusive, spiritual and community based), places you have to be invited to get access (exclusive clubs, organizations, activities), and places where you pay (can be open access or exclusive). There are always places where we can find connection, community, and answers, but we need to put ourselves in these places. Another way to find places is to identify people who reflect your core values, interests and passions. Identify the places they have found their connection and community and let this lead you. Hope this helps.
Davis Nottingham Very good extensive explanation of places by Harlan.
+HarlanCohen you are awesome.
+HarlanCohen thank you.
0:00 X..videos
Not everyone has people who will always be there for them and no, not everyone has a place they can be comfortable and safe in. This talk is far too simple
Are you serious... you copied exactly the same comment. At least make it subtle smh
Very nice ears
shhh... he can hear you
My long lost brother, he's a good listener. :-P
Those ears tho. XD
he heard that