You know all those vine videos, the "funny" videos, the "prank" videos on yu tub? You know, the ones with 20+ million views? They never made me laugh. Once. Tex though.... I am literally guffawing, laugh out loud is actually a real thing I discovered. Thank You, Tex.
Tex, of course it got weird, you were drinking that engine degreaser again. But then again, weird is fun. Though really weird would be Gramps pulling a Slim Pickens on a Killer Whale anti-ship missile.
And, after another visit with Grandpa Tex in the Ol' Mechwarrior's Home, we leave him with a bucket of applesauce, a hat full of bees, and an Urbanmech named "Spoopy"....
actually depending on the weapons on the urbies, thats a decent power balance since Tex's prefered Awesomes only had 3 PPCs and I... believe the ACs outrange the PPCs in stock configuration? And definitely pack more punch... (But in an overall sense of the difference between Union and Confederate forces, you're absolutely correct, there was also unclear communication on the Confed side...)
My favorite part of that stream was when Grampa Tex rambled about Fighting House Kurita on Iwo Jima. I probally laughed too hard. 10/10 thank you for another quality upload
What is a C-Beam? C-beams are spacer short for cesium beams, a type of particle beam weapon used in space combat. Highly reactive isotopes of C55 are accelerated to near light speed and blasted at targets at relatively short range, shorting out E-shields (the "glitter" effect) and reacting explosively with elements in starship hulls. If you see the C-beams glittering, that means you're observing the combat at point-blank range - you're either firing the beams or you're the target. "I saw the C-beams glittering" is the space combat soldier's equivalent to the old phrase "saw the elephant".
I cant tell if Grampa Tex has a beef with House Kurita or Liao? or both? But, amazingly I was able to keep up with most of the things Grampa rambled about... I would like to see Tex do an actual Uziel review, mainly cause listening to Tex do it save me from deep diving Sarna's archives about things that end up completely unrelated but catch my attention...
Is it sad that I spend more time looking through the Pilots list for Tex than I do looking at the map or game style selection? My luck I'll get killed by the Bee Launcher the only time I meet Tex in game.
Not at all, I tend to watch for RUclipsr players now myself, more so that I'm either on the same team or nowhere NEAR them incase they are recording footage for a video, because as much as I'd like to be on there, I would be completely mortified if the footage taken contained an embarrassing moment for me...
@@liljenborg2517 I mean if I had the IRL time there's probably enough grampa tex content over the course of the streams to hack a voice pack together but I wouldn't want to do something like that without Tex's permission.
I bought the fiesta pail for the 4th of July factory wide party. It was supposed to be 1 day off and then return to work the next day. It turned into four days off. Thanks Fiesta Pail
I'd like to hear a special episode of Grandpa tex talks battletech. Shit it could be grandpa tex the animated series to be honest. I'd watch it as religiously as south park Also my great grandad got mustered gas in ww1 with the canadians. Nice tears in rain reference
At the end of his life, Einstein donated his brain to science for the benefit of all mankind. Tex, I think you should do the same. I say this as a scientist, because I have no heckin idea how your brain farts up this random tapestry of art and madness.
As a Canadian, fuckin damn right Grandpa Tex, fuckin pepper sprayed each other for kicks as kids, mustard gas ain’t anything when it’s -30 out, call that a warm breeze son!
Grampa been watching too much MeTV again. Theory confirmed. Grampa Tex = Old Bill Shatner = Actual Kirk from The Naked Time sent way too far back in time and still tripping on space shrooms.
Great, someone helped Grandpa Tex out of his room again; now we all have to suffer his nonsensical banter. Also, I recently found that there's only a single copy of each book in a series among the public libraries in my state. Since I don't plan on reading them more than once, I figured I'd donate my (reasonably well maintained mass market edition) copies. How long do you think they'd last?
Welp, at least I got that "Tex talk BattleTech" Uziel review that I was asking for...
Search your feelings; you know it to be true.
"It looks like it was made by committee and the committee was duuuuuuuuuuuumb!"
"I can talk shit and murder people" 10/10, best grandpa Tex ever.
That's like shitting your pants ahead of time that's called forward thinking
Robert E. Lee and an Urbanmech in the same picture. My head is still trying to process that.
taken from here, great shit www.sarna.net/news/artist-photoshops-mechs-into-classic-paintings-and-the-results-are-hilarious/
An Urbanmech. Couldn't even defeat a 19th century army. Sounds about right.
@@liljenborg2517 Grant to his credit did bring an Awsome to Gettysburg
@@AsbestosMuffins and Sherman brought a firestarter to Georgia :D
Ah, the rambling adventures of Grampa Tex in his warp-capable, bee-infested Urbanmech. Somebody call HBO or Netflix, I smell a new series!
They'll greenlight ANYTHING!
Grandpa tex's stories never get old, just him.
Nice pfp
same to you friend.
Stories cannot get old because they are already old. No I do not mean that as an insult.
Absolutely lost it at "Canadians thought it was spicy wind!"
I made it to, "your country is full of hero's sir, ya burned down our white house once, act like it, lets goooooo!" before I started crying...
That made me smile.
grandpa tex punching theodore kurita should be canon.
His five year mission: To explore strange new Wards and go boldly into Staff Only areas...
Dear Tex and his editors, thank you so much for this! Made my day after a rather shitty week.
Keep spreading the positivity! 👍
thanks!
What every mech warrior fears a senior citizen in a battlemech!
You know all those vine videos, the "funny" videos, the "prank" videos on yu tub?
You know, the ones with 20+ million views?
They never made me laugh. Once.
Tex though.... I am literally guffawing, laugh out loud is actually a real thing I discovered.
Thank You, Tex.
Tex, of course it got weird, you were drinking that engine degreaser again. But then again, weird is fun. Though really weird would be Gramps pulling a Slim Pickens on a Killer Whale anti-ship missile.
So that is where the bees from steiner scout squad went, good to see they have a new home.
Love Grampa Tex. Only thing I would like more of is the reaction of the players hearing Grampa Tex.
"it's target rich environment" pure gold, dude
Just got done watching some of the Tex Talks Battletech playlist then I find this gem. I guess I know what to binge next.
Best part was the "Less talk, more shooting" bit, 10/10 LMFAO!
"HOW MANY ATLASES HAVE YOU KILLED? ZERO!" xD
And, after another visit with Grandpa Tex in the Ol' Mechwarrior's Home, we leave him with a bucket of applesauce, a hat full of bees, and an Urbanmech named "Spoopy"....
I eagerly await the day when he says "I killed fiddy men!"
the problem was the confederacy brought 20 urbanmechs to gettysburg and grant brought 15 Awsomes
actually depending on the weapons on the urbies, thats a decent power balance since Tex's prefered Awesomes only had 3 PPCs and I... believe the ACs outrange the PPCs in stock configuration? And definitely pack more punch... (But in an overall sense of the difference between Union and Confederate forces, you're absolutely correct, there was also unclear communication on the Confed side...)
And then Sherman brought 40 firestarters to Georgia
BTW, this was the best Episode of Star Gramps ever, thanks!
My favorite part of that stream was when Grampa Tex rambled about Fighting House Kurita on Iwo Jima. I probally laughed too hard. 10/10 thank you for another quality upload
There's probably a planet named Iwo Jima somewhere in Kurita space so maybe he isn't lying?
A year later and the grampa tex stuff is still some of the best shit I've seen to date
I'm tryin to be a good
Thank you Tex
Cargo +points + ording cardboard = Ian's final form, the borgi
Haha, much more than a quick gameplay compilation. The effort is on the screen here, tex, and we appreciate it.
Glorious work of mine editor, the magnificent courtesy flush
@@theblackpantslegion Too right, it's so easy to think about the uploader instead of the whole team who made the video happen. Cheers.
laughing
"had a sword in each hand and a sword in each foot and a sword in his mouth" made my stomach hurt
good times
True stories!
What did I just watch? I don't know, but it was damn entertaining.
This is pretty dang funny, gotta love Tex.
What is a C-Beam?
C-beams are spacer short for cesium beams, a type of particle beam weapon used in space combat. Highly reactive isotopes of C55 are accelerated to near light speed and blasted at targets at relatively short range, shorting out E-shields (the "glitter" effect) and reacting explosively with elements in starship hulls. If you see the C-beams glittering, that means you're observing the combat at point-blank range - you're either firing the beams or you're the target. "I saw the C-beams glittering" is the space combat soldier's equivalent to the old phrase "saw the elephant".
beautiful answer.
When playing BTA3062, make sure to keep your grandpa Tex safely stored inside an Urbanmech at all times to help avoid any bee related problems.
I cant tell if Grampa Tex has a beef with House Kurita or Liao? or both? But, amazingly I was able to keep up with most of the things Grampa rambled about... I would like to see Tex do an actual Uziel review, mainly cause listening to Tex do it save me from deep diving Sarna's archives about things that end up completely unrelated but catch my attention...
This was perfect. Thanks for the amazing content, y'all gave me something to laugh about this morning!
Is it sad that I spend more time looking through the Pilots list for Tex than I do looking at the map or game style selection? My luck I'll get killed by the Bee Launcher the only time I meet Tex in game.
Not at all, I tend to watch for RUclipsr players now myself, more so that I'm either on the same team or nowhere NEAR them incase they are recording footage for a video, because as much as I'd like to be on there, I would be completely mortified if the footage taken contained an embarrassing moment for me...
Always enjoy these, thanks for the laughs 👍
Target rich environment line was the best this definitely needs a part 4
I know its 3 years ago but I swear you actually have dementia with the way you freestyle random shit.
Never stop being you Tex.
And here we learn that Granpa Tex starred in Dr. Strangelove. Edit: Posted this too quickly. Lost my shit at Roy’s speech. My sides.
An urbanmech with Warp drive?! Technoheresy!
At least it's not an Urbanmech turned into a giant Dalek chassis.
@@philtkaswahl2124 Really? if you let an urbie anywhere near you, it'll exterminate you, especially with Tex at the helm!
Not really, it just bumps the max speed to 60kph
@@elijahgrimm8052 so your saying an STD 120-130 inna urbie is considered warp drive?
For an Urbie? Yes
Darn it, that was entertaining and iffin strange.
Beautiful. Pure art
Wow all I got to say is, that was way better than Star Trek discovery. holyshit there's a bee in here, help I'm scared!!
Have you ever considered recording some grampa tex lines and making them into a HBS: Battletech voice pack?
they will say "NO"
I kinda meant modding it in but I understand if you don't want to do it.
@@theblackpantslegion It would still be awesome
@@liljenborg2517 I mean if I had the IRL time there's probably enough grampa tex content over the course of the streams to hack a voice pack together but I wouldn't want to do something like that without Tex's permission.
@@theblackpantslegion “five years later.”
Oh Texx, you should not have touched my favorite movie. Nobody plays with Bladerunner... not even me.
Every time I watch this it just makes me happy.
My only regret is Grandpa Text hasn't used "Going Toe to Toe with KO-rito" yet. YET.
This could be a weekly series hilarious
Bees are pretty scary though....
You had me at spicy wind xD
This series needs to come back.
oh Jesus you made me Laugh, i was having a bad day.... Canadians shrugging off mustered gas thinking it was spicy wind.....
welcome, spicy wind man
hey Tex heard you talking about my country you want a real Canadian hero look up Leo Majors
Whatever you are smoking you have found the "enough" mark... That was fucking excellent
The Beesssssssssz. Always the darn Beeeeeeesssssssz
Most entertainment on the youtube I have seen all week, and my week starts on a Sunday
at the time of your posting it'd have been saturday though?
@@Feiora yes! Best entertainment all week!
I bought the fiesta pail for the 4th of July factory wide party. It was supposed to be 1 day off and then return to work the next day. It turned into four days off. Thanks Fiesta Pail
jesus why
@@theblackpantslegion
For the glory of chaos of course.
No, unironically did this.
Lol "not surrounded, it's a target rich environment" lol funniest thing ever.
I'd like to hear a special episode of Grandpa tex talks battletech. Shit it could be grandpa tex the animated series to be honest. I'd watch it as religiously as south park
Also my great grandad got mustered gas in ww1 with the canadians. Nice tears in rain reference
I love the fact tex references the 1812.
These videos are precious, gj!
How dare you sir! How dare you besmirch the good name of chocolate milk!
I always look forward to Grampa Tex....Should I get a Hobby ?
yes
@@theblackpantslegion Then in his honour I shall take up drinking & incontinence.
LOL wish i had played with you! I wouldnt be able to stop laughing xD
C-beam is a a particle beam accelerator
God Dammit Tex I can't stop laughing. Peace and love to all and to Tex 8 new PPC so he can really kill the somna bitch lol
At the end of his life, Einstein donated his brain to science for the benefit of all mankind. Tex, I think you should do the same. I say this as a scientist, because I have no heckin idea how your brain farts up this random tapestry of art and madness.
Good Thing I peed my pants before watching this...I had forward thinking.
"This one is gonna get weird"
Tex thats your whole channel
A better telling of the Star Trek movie.
Wonderful. I haven't laughed this hard in awhile.
My brain juice hurts. Can't stop laughing. omg
Grampa Tex doesn't like the Uziel? Duncan Fisher is going to kick his arse for such sass.
As a Canadian, fuckin damn right Grandpa Tex, fuckin pepper sprayed each other for kicks as kids, mustard gas ain’t anything when it’s -30 out, call that a warm breeze son!
Hey BlackPants, might it be possible to talk about subsystems in addition to mechs as well? For example the C3i computers? Or TAG systems?
eventually
@2:20
Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
WAAAA-HOOOOOO
WOOOWAAA-AAHOOOO
great quote
Best Grandpa
If I had a soul I would swear this hurt it horribly.
So.. are there both inner sphere and clan versions of the bee launcher?
Yes, lighter and smaller Bees in the clan version allowing for more Bees and lighter weight as usual! ^.^ ;P
Grampa been watching too much MeTV again. Theory confirmed. Grampa Tex = Old Bill Shatner = Actual Kirk from The Naked Time sent way too far back in time and still tripping on space shrooms.
I managed to get into a game with Tex, had a great time... next map I missed out on with himm... Boom. Missed Grampa Tex.
I dont EVER want to have to fight against Tex, in either form... >.
@@Feiora I was on his team! We held W into the enemy team to deliver elbows of justice. He wasn't in an Urbie or Atlas... so it went poorly
@@larryy5166 what was he in? and did he give an inspirational speech before the match?
He had a Centurion, not his most iconic mech lol(Awesome, Urbie or Atlas) he was mostly engaging with chat and rambling as he does
I also distracted him talking about eating Alligator asshole and pronouncing Coors and Gauss wrong
You go Uncle Tex
Great, someone helped Grandpa Tex out of his room again; now we all have to suffer his nonsensical banter.
Also, I recently found that there's only a single copy of each book in a series among the public libraries in my state. Since I don't plan on reading them more than once, I figured I'd donate my (reasonably well maintained mass market edition) copies. How long do you think they'd last?
Not long, since public libraries tend to hold a Take-a-Book-Home event followed by a purging of those that werent rescued...
Amazing!
I love Star Texin', but not the next generation. Original series any day, freebirths.
James Tex Kirk vs Tex-Luc Picard. FIGHT!
🇨🇦
Damnit RUclips! I clicked on the video and at the bottom an ad popped up for a dementia hospital!!!!!
GRAMPA TEX IS DRIVING CLAN TECH WHAT.THE.FUCK Professor Tex you need to reign in your grandad bro
Is this the best Grampa Tex episode?
Considering theres only been 3 vids so far?
LOL think grandpa needs some sleep he is a bit more "special" then usual.
Can we petition Crowind for a medal of some sort?
This is some grade A content here
This was good.
And some moldy hardtac too
He's off his meds against isn't he.
Tex doing this voice is disturbing to me.
Is Tex just recounting Star Trak?
this is everything I wanted...
See these would be great if it’s not him edited but just grandpa Tex never shutting up! Bc that’s my dad
I was watching Blade Runner earlier haha
Dear Grampa Tex why is House Liao so awesome against you?
3:10
Ironically, Rutger Hauer just died.
so fucking tragic