right after watching this video, I called my teacher to confirm that i was going to present a spelling challenge in front of my all school. I'm no longer afraid of going out of my comfort zone. Thank queen Tam
When Tam said: "Why is it so bad that you're being watched?" 14:41. I swear right at that moment all of my self-consciousness and f*** giving energy just DISSOLVED.
I used to be worried about matching people’s vibe at parties too! It was horrible because I was so worried that my energy would bring the mood down. So now rather than trying to match the vibe, I just try to compliment it. If everyone at a party is super hyped and excited but I’m feeling a little more chill, that’s fine! They can be their version of upbeat and I will be MY version of upbeat.
I'm Introvert #1Always feel yourself (confidence baby , focus on yourself & ur emotions) #2Don't be insecure (people opinions doesn't matter) #3fake it till you make it ( imagine what future yourself would do as confident person and do it) #4 change something(people,style) diff environment #5change your energy (master detachment)(every one cal feel your energy)(act like royalty)(confidence silence) #6 u feel being watched or self conscious (exposure therapy)look back smile (no fear/ self love) Love the fact the people are watching you #7 missing opportunity ❌ Be familiar with yourself worth Immersing yourself in discomfort How can you just interact with the other person #8 don't define yourself from others #9 ifthis is gonna be positive thing if not it will be a lesson #10 how to vibe with extrovert person U will not get along with many person People should accept you as u #11 how can I have meaningful conversation ask questions #12 how to deal with change I am gonna meet new part of myself it's winwin #13 plan make strategy for new something #14 take class on self esteem social skill , confidence Book - how to win friends and influence people ❤❤❤❤
I thought I was introverted for ages (thanks trauma) until I realized my energy came from being social with others. This is helpful for continuing to heal from the ways I had limited myself in the past.
I also misidentified as an introvert for the longest time, but later realized it was due to being exposed to a lot of dysfunctional people at a young age and resulting social anxiety. After working on my social anxiety through therapy, I realize I'm an extrovert! There are strengths to being both introverted and extroverted, but it's important to be authentic.
Tam! Once again you’ve come through with the advice!! I’m a huge introvert as well and I find it difficult to socialize and stay present when surrounded by lots of people. This makes me feel proud to be one rather then be someone im not. Thank you 💗💗
as an extrovert that used to be really shy and quiet, this video helped a lot!! during high school what made me the most insecure was the fact that people THOUGHT i was introverted and ‘boring’ - even though i have always been loud, ougoing, up for random impulsive adventures etc. around my friends and around random strangers. on my self love/healing journey i’ve made it a priority to talk to as many people as possible - ask a random classmate for help, compliment a stranger, talk to the cashier in the store … all these little things help a lot! the most important thing to be confident is to realize how amazing and fun you are, if you know your worth nobody else’s perception can take that from you!
hi tam, I’m naturally really introverted but i also love talking with people. today in my emt class I set myself a goal to smile and say hi to someone new, and honestly that was really nerve wracking in itself. However once I got past that initial hurdle I made three new friends today and then starting talking with everyone, and I’m feeling so happy now. I want to keep this up, thank you for everything tam ❤️
One of my favorite thing to do nowadays is trying to meet and talk to new people, i love that, like in public i like approaching people for questions. I realized that these people are actually always willing to help you, they're not scary
Just a little thought: For me, to be perceived as a "nerd" is to be seen as intelligent, a unique thinker, and able to pick up on other's cues in ways that may seem overwhelming to the average person. I guess it's all about the matter of perspective. But I do agree if you're not happy with your confidence, take the necessary steps to grow that! You can do it 😄
@@mai14jeon84 I understand gurl! don't worry too much, as she said you just gotta do exposure therapy. I believe in you! I know it'll take a lot of time but I know you can do that. Just trust yourself
Dear Tam, thank you so much for uploading such amazing contents for us. We really appriciate your hardwork from bottom of our heart. Your videos saved me so much in 2023 and hope your videos will do the same for me in 2024. Wishing you all the best and hope you reach 1 million soon. You deserve it. Honestly, MORE than a million. Once again thank you. You are my life saver
As an introvert this video rly comforted me and made me feel seen my main struggle is connecting w ppl as I genuinely look for deeper connections conversations and things that ppl seem to be lacking as a result I get assumptions made abt me and feel misunderstood bc no matter what I js don’t fit in I’ve no problems with talking to strangers on the street I genuinely have more confidence going up to strangers bc they’ve no bad perception of me whereas the ppl ik like home school I’m constantly judged and stuff b long term wise I want deep conversations and a forever type thing thank you for your hardwork as always love you tam !!
Tam you're INFJ too, so that's why I relate so much to you, I am one too. And yeah, we people with this personality can appear extroverted because we are friendly but we are introverted anyways.
girl thank you for talking about the meaning of being an introverted/extroverted person. when i first tried to shift myself into a extrovert one i was kind of a mess because i thought that being extrovert was being so loud and always being on the spotlight, and i did it until i couldn't anymore, i felt so tired and i felt so fake. And i am agree with being confident even if i am quiet while everyone else is loud. the last few weeks i was just being me minding my business in college and combing both "energies" instead of acting like a clown (because i lit was there to entertain my friends to the point of ridiculizing myself so they could be around me, because i thought that was what an extroverted would do) and i felt more confident and more like me, and now i have a better presence around my friends. idk if my english is good, saludos
This hits home for me, because I used to always see myself this way and therefore it became my new reality. I realized I had to change when my own friends started to limit my potential by saying "You're not the type of person to go out" or "You wouldn't talk to strangers". Essentially, they were deciding who I was based on some situations when I was being reserved. I'm not defined by their perceptions of me.
Thank you so much for this ! I have a "braai" (Afrikaans for barbeque) later today with some of my mates and other people. Been feeling a bit out of it lately and get nervous in social settings, but I just needed a little encouragement and reminder that the energy I put out, is the energy I receive :) Love from South Africa
As an introvert, I do agree with all of what she says, and this video was really really helpful. I've been trying to be more outgoing these days and to match my friends' energy, but now I know that's what's been preventing me from feeling more like myself. From now on, let's see what happens, but I truly appreciate people like Tam who have the courage to talk to the camera and let us know all of these wonderful tips. 💞
Tam, thank you so much! I just recently realized that I'm an introvert and your video really helped me learn more about this aspect of myself. I used to think that introverts were people who were shy and since this didn't describe me, I didn't think that I was introverted and would always be confused as to why I was so drained after spending time with friends. You explained this in a way that made so much sense to me! Your videos have really opened up a whole new world for me and now I finally have the courage to manifest my dream life! Thank you for this
Gurllll!!!!! U nailed it. I loveee you very very veryyyy muchhhh. You're my unpaid therapist. I watch your vdos every single day. I am leaving my lazy era, scared of becoming myself era. Thankyouuuu for alwyss being there for us!!! Ily
for the past two summers, i’ve been going on service trips to new countries with students i’ve never met, and i always get really anxious and don’t really make friends. this year, im going to make a ton of friends and have an amazing time 💆♀️
have been listening to your podcast every morning while getting ready for school and it really motivates me to be my best self! Thank you so much for the advice and tough love tam ❤️
Amazing video as always and thanks for debunking stereotypes! On social media it looks like 80% of people are introverts but I think some of them don’t know that they’re actually extroverts. One of my friends is really shy but she’s definitely extrovert.
Thank you for actually explaining what being an introvert is, and what it ISN’T. I feel like so often online people normalize unhealthy behavior because it’s just “being an introvert”, like no honey you haven’t been outside in 2 weeks and you get a panic attack every time your phone rings. That’s not cute quirky introversion, that’s mental illness
Thank you for the useful tips! The biggest thing I get from this video is that we should be feeling ourselves 100% of the time. Confidence, never fearing judgment, never fearing rejection, and having meaningful conversations and interactions with people all stem from feeling ourselves and being comfortable with ourselves 100% of the time.
You're so right about the introverts Tam. I myself have been stated as a cold hearted person many times by others just because I don't share a lot with them. I'll try my best to be more confident as an introvert. Your videos have always helped me. Thank you so much ❤
so true ive been told i come of as emotionless but the thing is i have emotions i just dont show them or channel them in other ways writing and reading etc.
The point you made about people getting promoted because they socialise with higher ups is so true so on point. Ive seen it at the place where i work or even people getting favours and getting away with things only because theyre friendly with management
This is the only girl that I actually learned self love or confidence from fr. I watched the wizard Liz and some of other RUclipsrs talking abt the same topic and she’s the best.
My fav idea which I learned was when you said ' Dealing with change makes you expose to a new part/version of yourself'. I can relate as an introvert. That's all that I needed to hear.
From 9:40 to 10:12 just changed my whole perspective on judgment !!! I always fear being judged especially after hearing what my classmates say about some like girl and judge every single aspect of her. But you're actually right, this girl who they're judging is living her best life and always gives the best speeches in class ( they call her cringy bc she's way better than their awkward projects ). So I'm gonna do the same thank u big sistaaa 😙😙😙❤
Tam, u honestly have noo idea how many people you are legit helping at this point, thanks to you, my personality and the way my brain is wired now is like soo much better than before and u boost up my confidence SOO much girly, luv ya loadss
hi tam! really wanna appreciate you for this video ❤️ I am an introvert and had no friends in my high school in my home country. I moved abroad for uni and today was my first day! I saved this video to watch it one day before and the way it helped me make conversations with a bunch of people today is such a nice feeling! I am so happy I did this and i am getting out of my comfort zone! Love all of your confidence videos❤️
You really do have a great voice. Your tonality, moderation and pace is impressive. It's engaging. Because I'm suprised I watched the entire video, since my attention span is concerning. Anyhow, good work.
I was scared to present in front of my class, but I got myself together and after 3 days of working on getting myself together I managed to present. SO PROUD!!!!
thank you so much i’ve always been so self conscious about how i’m perceived but i’m starting to realise it doesn’t even matter about what people think of me
Tam we need more videos!! ❤❤I can't go a week without missing your videos . I rushed here as soon as I got the notification. The inspiration we get from you is unexplainable. I feel im gonna manifest my dream life this year and the biggest inspiration came from you .Love u always x
This week I'm giving a dance performance for most of my school. I'm so terrified and simultaneously excited at the same time! This video really helped me to be determined to reform. Thanks so much Tam
Girl, I thank you so so much. I thought I was intro/extro and realised I am INTROVERT and that’s OKAY! I was trying to please the extros and forced myself in the after work pub seshs and it depleted my energy. Different now. Honestly honey, huge appreciation for you. This is perfection
I'd say im a shy extrovert, i love people and new experiences but i have a hard time conversing with others since i tend to sink into myself due to insecurities
My learning: dont put others on pedestal....the only opinion that is absolutely true is my own cause noone in this entire world knows me better than I myself. Also I don't need to mirror others ...ex arround introvert people i absolutely dont need to think/judge/criticize myself that oh why the heck am i not like that see they are soo good so talktibewhy am i not like this NOPE . I am an introvert and theres nothing wrong with it ....this in no way makes me less worthy of the extroverted people. Its justs the way people are and introvert or extrovert both are absolutely fine no need to forcefully change myself just to fit in and gain validation from others. Thank you TAM ❤
eyy sis thank you soo much for this am entirely grateful I have a tiny winy tip that has helped me I always had a hard time when it came to how I can walk around as an emotional person I tend to have broad shoulders and sometimes when am tired they just bend on their own and that ruined my posture when walking coz I would be hunched down so to get over this i forced myself to wear a sunhat and make sure it covered my eyes so that I would have to be upright if I had to see where I was going and this has helped me soo well with my posture that I no longer walk around like a zombie but I fully stand up and damn the confidence it gives is beyond comprehension it gives people am watching you so don't try to do anything stupid kind of vibes and it's working great for me but once again thank you soo much for the wisdom damn you just hit the nail on the head and am super grateful ❤❤❤heart you lots keep doing the great work
Thank you so much Tam. I've been watching you since the beginning of your channel and even my peers can say I have changed !!! I struggle with social anxiety and my job requires me to just walk up to people, usually I ask to switch roles, but now I've been asking to put myself there and immerse myself with discomfort like you said, and I'm getting stronger! I love the advice you give
notess! 6:01 extrovert bias: the world was built for extroverts 🌏 7:28 tips 💡 - 7:32 put effort in ur appearance -> feeling more confident in yourself - 8:34 let go of ur fear to be perceived. > happy people dont judge! - 10:25 "fake it till u make it" as the first step - 11:18 just do it if u want a change. - 12:05 create an alter ego - 12:11 focus on the energy u hold > detach, detach, detach! > watch how u think and say to urself. 15:57 be comfortable in taking up space! 🙋♀️ - embrace and LOVE that people are looking at u 17:20 immerse urself in discomfort 🙃 > "the only person that i need approval from is myself." 18:56 portfolio of proof 📂 > its always a positive experience bc it will teach u a lesson 19:55 stop mirroring other people🪞 > lean into your authenticity, your quirk, your weirdness 20:55 to keep a conversation going, focus on how u'll make them feel 💗 > dont interview them, actually converse and talk abt urself bit by bit throughout the conversation! 22:39 "i am going to meet a new part of myself!?" 😻 > a big change is a w > discomfort -> discipline 23:02 its OKAY to plan out what ur gonna say/do ☝️ 25:44 homework 📝 - tailored exposure therapy - self education - dress to impress urself! - solo dates in a public space! - develop the relationship with urself -> master detachment
this video is so useful i’m constantly writing notes down, it’s the start of 2nd semester tdy n all u hv said in this video r things that hv crossed my mind tdy
Tam, I’ve never had a sister growing up. My mom had two brothers, so she never really taught me anything. I also grew up with two older brothers so I had no clue on femininity until I saw your channel. You’re literally a lifesaver, thank you so much! 🙏💗
ADMIT IT TAM! You read our minds right???😳 How'd you know HOW Desperately I needed that!! Thank you so muchhh siss💕✨ Just never stop your RUclips.... Every Friday I wait for her to post a VIDEO👀. They are so Valuableee🙏💫❤️ I would love if you make a video on adjusting your SLEEP ROUTINE... Pleaseeee😩 No one can do it better than you QUEEN 💖👑
Ty so much. This video is AMAZING. You made me realize things about myself I didn’t even fully understand like how I sit quietly wondering if everyone’s judging me yet I can be quiet comfortably instead. Love this channel sm!❤
Im gonna be a freshman this school year and I am trying and hoping to be more confident and more social, your videos are helping me so much. I literally only watch your videos because your the only RUclipsr I need, thank you for the advice, your like a third older sister 💞😭
@@chunkicat None really, I just know I’m staying outttt of drama. I don’t want to waste my teenage years on drama and fights, I’d rather get good grades and get good friends 🙏
Tam you never cease to amaze me!! You upload on the regular, your intros to videos are just getting better and better, and you’re so wise!! Thank you for all that you do 🥹
i'd disagree with the first part to an extend. as a child i was extremely shy and introverted. now as a teenager i am quite the opposite, i love spending time with people and it doesn't burn me out. so i think in some cases you can switch up
1. Always be feeling yourself and be confident 2. Dont be scared of judgement 3. Fake it till you make it 4. Identity shift, alter ego 5. Mastering detachment 6. Act like royalty Challenge: smile when you see a stranger look at you Exposure therapy Self learning Dress acc to yourself Solo date Self love
Here's what brought me to this video today. All the books I've read have main charecters who've got an eventful life. Most of them are confident in who they are and have a plot related to what's externally going on in their lives. They have random strangers coming into their lives and becoming something more. They have stuff going on, right? If you think about it, you only have one life with these particular combination of people on earth. By limiting yourself/staying in your comfort zone, you are missing out on so many opportunities!! I admit, I may not be a main charecter but the least i could be is someone who adds value to the story.
This was a really great video and people should definitely use these tips to advance themselves in life and in their career. I do think that not everyone needs to be this loud, bubbly and cheerful personality. Being chill and soft spoken is not a bad trait at all. Some of us actually find that very endearing. So I think take the advice that is helpful but don't change your personality completely to the point where you become a robot and a copy of what you think a charismatic person should be ❤
Before I always used to think that whether people would like me or not, and from this thought I started to become a people pleaser...people also started to use me but I stayed quiet because all I wanted was to please them. I was also very shy at the moment. However after watching your videos I have been focusing on myself and didn't care at all what other people started to think of me. I have been very confident too!! My self love journey has been going so good!!! Thanks a lot Tam, love you
Tam im 14 years old from India who used to struggle alot but not anymore cuz i have found u..u are an literal angel . Thankyou for transforming my lyf. Loads of lovee and support!! ❤❤
loved this vid, quite a few awesome tips, some that i alrd knew in the back of my head but it's nice to hear em said outloud right?! ^^ oh the dressing amazing when goin out is such a huge one! I started doin it recently and while i do think im overdressed (ppl literally stare at me on the bus or the mall or something lol) it does wonders, it's really a huge energy and mood shifter and i wish i started doing that earlier! I do wonder tho if ppl are always thinkin damn where's this fancy ass goin, probably to a party or something but its a random tuesday? And I'm like naah I just like lookin good when i step outside, even if im not gonna be meetin a single person 😅
It feels so good and comforting to find someone like me😂❤❤.....u are like my elder sister who guide me toward becoming best version of myself 💖 I feel so grateful to meet you💓
you've no idea how eagerly i had been waiting for this video since you informed on your broadcast channel that you gonna post a video about going from being introvert to extrovert lots of love 💕
Personally how ive learnt to overcome my fear of being perceived was by constantly telling myself in my head to quit criticism...if i stopped criticising people and thinking pleasant thoughts about them then I'm obliged to believe they're also thinking same for me and if they aren't then they are just terrible people whereas I'm the non judgmental one with a really light heart😂 and it really helps my energy yeah😊
She's the elder sister I've dreamt of . She's amazing . I can't even tell how much my life changed after listening to her videos ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🧿...grow even even more sis 🧿
Babe thanku so much for doing this. i have so much love and respect for you babe. You've shown me so many new perspectives and literally impacted me in the most positive way ever. More power to youuuu.
Hi! You're probably not gonna see this (especially because how it is) but I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am for this video, especially for its timing haha! I've always been pretty shy and kinda insecure when it comes to talking to others. But this semester I moved to Berlin and I have been really set on being more outgoing, meeting new people and putting myself out there. Today was the first day of my semester and someone in my class suggested that we gathered at a bar on the evening. Although I had all these great resolutions to improve my social confidence, I actually froze. I started panicking because even if I did want to go to this event to meet new people, the fear of being judged, not liked by others etc overwhelmed me and I tried to make up all these excuses as to why I shouldn't go. And then I watched this video just before going to the event and it gave the push and advice I needed to motivate myself to actually go. And so I went there. And it was sooooo cool. I followed your tips and I met and talk to all these amazing people and I can't wait to see again. So thank you for helping me find the courage to outside my comfort zone even if I was scared ❤ I'll remember this for the rest of my life.
I just fumbled across your channel via your video on toxic parent, and i just wanted to say thank you so much for creating this content. These 2 videos have literally hit some many nails on the head for me and made me learn so so much. Immediately subscribed and joined the discord. ❤
Ok i really must say this that how I've been trying to achieve self love and in order to do that I've been working on myself for myself but all of a sudden idk I just felt confused (which yes I often get at times) but I genuinely think this video has given me hope so I ain't stopping from becoming the person I am desired to be :) thanxx Tam
After watching every video you post I get energised and boosted and I get so into my energy that it feels yes I am going to conquer the world and at times I pause the video because I feel this energy in me that makes get things done hence when I am over it I come back and reward myself continuing the video further 💫
HOMEWORK 1:Exposure therapy say yes to few open things opportunity 2:Self education on self confidence 3:Dress to feel good and confident 4:A solo date important it is 5:A better relationship with your own self important pls share a like or reply so that I remember to do my homework on time❤❤❤
Love this! It's so true throughout my career i noticed you have to be extroverted to be promoted or you'll be classed as anti social or not part of the team
ELDER SISTERS ASSEMBLE. OUR BIG SISTER HAS POSTED!!!!
Frr
WE'RE RIGHT HERE!!!!!!🎤👏🏽💙
Here gurlll❤
Hereee
Aye aye captain....👩✈️
right after watching this video, I called my teacher to confirm that i was going to present a spelling challenge in front of my all school. I'm no longer afraid of going out of my comfort zone. Thank queen Tam
SOOOO PROUD!!!!!
How did it go
Omg this is amazing!! mind sharing how it went for you?
HOW DID IT GO?? ◡̈
@@nevaeh_h it went perfectly! it was exactly was i needed, at first i sounded weird but i didn't let my anxiety win. i actually ate tbh
The way she burns the judgmental people is IMPRESSIVE
When Tam said: "Why is it so bad that you're being watched?" 14:41. I swear right at that moment all of my self-consciousness and f*** giving energy just DISSOLVED.
FCK YESS 🙌🏽
1111
1
11
11
1¹
11111m😊😊
Yessss
remember, if u don't want ppl to judge u, don't judge urself. its only judgy if YOU make it judgy
😭😭❤
I used to be worried about matching people’s vibe at parties too! It was horrible because I was so worried that my energy would bring the mood down. So now rather than trying to match the vibe, I just try to compliment it. If everyone at a party is super hyped and excited but I’m feeling a little more chill, that’s fine! They can be their version of upbeat and I will be MY version of upbeat.
I'm Introvert
#1Always feel yourself (confidence baby , focus on yourself & ur emotions)
#2Don't be insecure (people opinions doesn't matter)
#3fake it till you make it ( imagine what future yourself would do as confident person and do it)
#4 change something(people,style) diff environment
#5change your energy (master detachment)(every one cal feel your energy)(act like royalty)(confidence silence)
#6 u feel being watched or self conscious (exposure therapy)look back smile (no fear/ self love)
Love the fact the people are watching you
#7 missing opportunity ❌
Be familiar with yourself worth
Immersing yourself in discomfort
How can you just interact with the other person
#8 don't define yourself from others
#9 ifthis is gonna be positive thing if not it will be a lesson
#10 how to vibe with extrovert person
U will not get along with many person
People should accept you as u
#11 how can I have meaningful conversation ask questions
#12 how to deal with change
I am gonna meet new part of myself it's winwin
#13 plan make strategy for new something
#14 take class on self esteem social skill , confidence
Book - how to win friends and influence people
❤❤❤❤
Thank you ❤
"overcome your fear of being perceived". oh my gosh. there is such quality in every sentence you say istg
I thought I was introverted for ages (thanks trauma) until I realized my energy came from being social with others. This is helpful for continuing to heal from the ways I had limited myself in the past.
I also misidentified as an introvert for the longest time, but later realized it was due to being exposed to a lot of dysfunctional people at a young age and resulting social anxiety. After working on my social anxiety through therapy, I realize I'm an extrovert! There are strengths to being both introverted and extroverted, but it's important to be authentic.
@@360shadowmoonwow this makes me now deeply think if I’m a hidden extrovert😅
Omg same!! And it feels so good when you finally allow yourself to open up to others
Samee!
this!
This girl is healing my inner insecure littlr girl and i love her for that😭
Tam! Once again you’ve come through with the advice!! I’m a huge introvert as well and I find it difficult to socialize and stay present when surrounded by lots of people. This makes me feel proud to be one rather then be someone im not. Thank you 💗💗
You are so welcome!
as an extrovert that used to be really shy and quiet, this video helped a lot!! during high school what made me the most insecure was the fact that people THOUGHT i was introverted and ‘boring’ - even though i have always been loud, ougoing, up for random impulsive adventures etc. around my friends and around random strangers.
on my self love/healing journey i’ve made it a priority to talk to as many people as possible - ask a random classmate for help, compliment a stranger, talk to the cashier in the store … all these little things help a lot! the most important thing to be confident is to realize how amazing and fun you are, if you know your worth nobody else’s perception can take that from you!
When you are an introvert, are shy, and have social anxiety 😂 the worst of all worlds
This is all me 😂😅😭
Same
real
hi tam,
I’m naturally really introverted but i also love talking with people. today in my emt class I set myself a goal to smile and say hi to someone new, and honestly that was really nerve wracking in itself. However once I got past that initial hurdle I made three new friends today and then starting talking with everyone, and I’m feeling so happy now. I want to keep this up, thank you for everything tam ❤️
Her new energy for the new year is radiating idk how to explain but there's something more than the last year. Love it tam
One of my favorite thing to do nowadays is trying to meet and talk to new people, i love that, like in public i like approaching people for questions. I realized that these people are actually always willing to help you, they're not scary
Just a little thought: For me, to be perceived as a "nerd" is to be seen as intelligent, a unique thinker, and able to pick up on other's cues in ways that may seem overwhelming to the average person. I guess it's all about the matter of perspective. But I do agree if you're not happy with your confidence, take the necessary steps to grow that! You can do it 😄
My social anxiety is worsening in the past few days and listening to this actually made me cry :(
Same. Even my family members call me unsocial. It hurts... Idk what to do
@@mai14jeon84 I understand gurl! don't worry too much, as she said you just gotta do exposure therapy. I believe in you! I know it'll take a lot of time but I know you can do that. Just trust yourself
Dear Tam, thank you so much for uploading such amazing contents for us. We really appriciate your hardwork from bottom of our heart. Your videos saved me so much in 2023 and hope your videos will do the same for me in 2024. Wishing you all the best and hope you reach 1 million soon. You deserve it. Honestly, MORE than a million. Once again thank you. You are my life saver
As an introvert this video rly comforted me and made me feel seen my main struggle is connecting w ppl as I genuinely look for deeper connections conversations and things that ppl seem to be lacking as a result I get assumptions made abt me and feel misunderstood bc no matter what I js don’t fit in I’ve no problems with talking to strangers on the street I genuinely have more confidence going up to strangers bc they’ve no bad perception of me whereas the ppl ik like home school I’m constantly judged and stuff b long term wise I want deep conversations and a forever type thing thank you for your hardwork as always love you tam !!
Tam you're INFJ too, so that's why I relate so much to you, I am one too. And yeah, we people with this personality can appear extroverted because we are friendly but we are introverted anyways.
girl thank you for talking about the meaning of being an introverted/extroverted person. when i first tried to shift myself into a extrovert one i was kind of a mess because i thought that being extrovert was being so loud and always being on the spotlight, and i did it until i couldn't anymore, i felt so tired and i felt so fake. And i am agree with being confident even if i am quiet while everyone else is loud. the last few weeks i was just being me minding my business in college and combing both "energies" instead of acting like a clown (because i lit was there to entertain my friends to the point of ridiculizing myself so they could be around me, because i thought that was what an extroverted would do) and i felt more confident and more like me, and now i have a better presence around my friends.
idk if my english is good, saludos
This hits home for me, because I used to always see myself this way and therefore it became my new reality. I realized I had to change when my own friends started to limit my potential by saying "You're not the type of person to go out" or "You wouldn't talk to strangers". Essentially, they were deciding who I was based on some situations when I was being reserved. I'm not defined by their perceptions of me.
R you an extrovert now?
Rightt, so that's, why meeting new people = new perceptions to make; which means i am not limited by others' perceptions of who I am! :)
@@ericj199 Did you become an extrovert?
Thank you so much for this ! I have a "braai" (Afrikaans for barbeque) later today with some of my mates and other people. Been feeling a bit out of it lately and get nervous in social settings, but I just needed a little encouragement and reminder that the energy I put out, is the energy I receive :)
Love from South Africa
As an introvert, I do agree with all of what she says, and this video was really really helpful. I've been trying to be more outgoing these days and to match my friends' energy, but now I know that's what's been preventing me from feeling more like myself. From now on, let's see what happens, but I truly appreciate people like Tam who have the courage to talk to the camera and let us know all of these wonderful tips. 💞
Tam, thank you so much! I just recently realized that I'm an introvert and your video really helped me learn more about this aspect of myself. I used to think that introverts were people who were shy and since this didn't describe me, I didn't think that I was introverted and would always be confused as to why I was so drained after spending time with friends. You explained this in a way that made so much sense to me! Your videos have really opened up a whole new world for me and now I finally have the courage to manifest my dream life! Thank you for this
*Tamanna, you literally changed my life and my self perception....*
*love from India* 💚
Gurllll!!!!! U nailed it. I loveee you very very veryyyy muchhhh. You're my unpaid therapist. I watch your vdos every single day. I am leaving my lazy era, scared of becoming myself era. Thankyouuuu for alwyss being there for us!!! Ily
Thank you so much!!
0:01 Girl I have the exact book I issued it from my school's library feels so good ❤️
for the past two summers, i’ve been going on service trips to new countries with students i’ve never met, and i always get really anxious and don’t really make friends. this year, im going to make a ton of friends and have an amazing time 💆♀️
have been listening to your podcast every morning while getting ready for school and it really motivates me to be my best self! Thank you so much for the advice and tough love tam ❤️
Love that!
Aaaaaa I didn't expect seeing you here this is so random but I love your vlogs!!
@@ericj199 that’s so sweet, thank you for saying that ❤️
Amazing video as always and thanks for debunking stereotypes! On social media it looks like 80% of people are introverts but I think some of them don’t know that they’re actually extroverts. One of my friends is really shy but she’s definitely extrovert.
Thank you for actually explaining what being an introvert is, and what it ISN’T. I feel like so often online people normalize unhealthy behavior because it’s just “being an introvert”, like no honey you haven’t been outside in 2 weeks and you get a panic attack every time your phone rings. That’s not cute quirky introversion, that’s mental illness
Thank you for the useful tips! The biggest thing I get from this video is that we should be feeling ourselves 100% of the time. Confidence, never fearing judgment, never fearing rejection, and having meaningful conversations and interactions with people all stem from feeling ourselves and being comfortable with ourselves 100% of the time.
You're so right about the introverts Tam. I myself have been stated as a cold hearted person many times by others just because I don't share a lot with them. I'll try my best to be more confident as an introvert. Your videos have always helped me. Thank you so much ❤
so true ive been told i come of as emotionless but the thing is i have emotions i just dont show them or channel them in other ways writing and reading etc.
I was an introvert but suddenly after the lockdown era i was a social butterfly and i don't regret it. All things Tam said are so true
How. Pls tell
Maybe because being introvert or extrovert HAS NOTHING TO DO with social skills.
The point you made about people getting promoted because they socialise with higher ups is so true so on point. Ive seen it at the place where i work or even people getting favours and getting away with things only because theyre friendly with management
This is the only girl that I actually learned self love or confidence from fr. I watched the wizard Liz and some of other RUclipsrs talking abt the same topic and she’s the best.
My fav idea which I learned was when you said ' Dealing with change makes you expose to a new part/version of yourself'. I can relate as an introvert. That's all that I needed to hear.
From 9:40 to 10:12 just changed my whole perspective on judgment !!! I always fear being judged especially after hearing what my classmates say about some like girl and judge every single aspect of her. But you're actually right, this girl who they're judging is living her best life and always gives the best speeches in class ( they call her cringy bc she's way better than their awkward projects ). So I'm gonna do the same thank u big sistaaa 😙😙😙❤
watching this while being on a solo date is just SO comforting.
Tam Kaur took the 16 personality test she's an INFJ and I am too :)!!
Tam, u honestly have noo idea how many people you are legit helping at this point, thanks to you, my personality and the way my brain is wired now is like soo much better than before and u boost up my confidence SOO much girly, luv ya loadss
hi tam!
really wanna appreciate you for this video ❤️ I am an introvert and had no friends in my high school in my home country. I moved abroad for uni and today was my first day! I saved this video to watch it one day before and the way it helped me make conversations with a bunch of people today is such a nice feeling! I am so happy I did this and i am getting out of my comfort zone! Love all of your confidence videos❤️
You really do have a great voice. Your tonality, moderation and pace is impressive. It's engaging.
Because I'm suprised I watched the entire video, since my attention span is concerning.
Anyhow, good work.
I was scared to present in front of my class, but I got myself together and after 3 days of working on getting myself together I managed to present. SO PROUD!!!!
Congratulations! You deserve to feel proud.
That's amazing, congrats!!!
That's amazing, congrats!!!
YEAH im proud of u
thank you so much i’ve always been so self conscious about how i’m perceived but i’m starting to realise it doesn’t even matter about what people think of me
Tam we need more videos!! ❤❤I can't go a week without missing your videos . I rushed here as soon as I got the notification. The inspiration we get from you is unexplainable. I feel im gonna manifest my dream life this year and the biggest inspiration came from you .Love u always x
im so glad i came across your channel , im currently at the lowest ive been because my anxiety has been acting up and you have really opened my eyes .
I really liked what you said about talking to strangers....try to make them comfortable! Im gonna try that!!
This week I'm giving a dance performance for most of my school. I'm so terrified and simultaneously excited at the same time! This video really helped me to be determined to reform. Thanks so much Tam
Girl, I thank you so so much. I thought I was intro/extro and realised I am INTROVERT and that’s OKAY! I was trying to please the extros and forced myself in the after work pub seshs and it depleted my energy. Different now. Honestly honey, huge appreciation for you. This is perfection
I'd say im a shy extrovert, i love people and new experiences but i have a hard time conversing with others since i tend to sink into myself due to insecurities
My learning: dont put others on pedestal....the only opinion that is absolutely true is my own cause noone in this entire world knows me better than I myself. Also I don't need to mirror others ...ex arround introvert people i absolutely dont need to think/judge/criticize myself that oh why the heck am i not like that see they are soo good so talktibewhy am i not like this NOPE . I am an introvert and theres nothing wrong with it ....this in no way makes me less worthy of the extroverted people. Its justs the way people are and introvert or extrovert both are absolutely fine no need to forcefully change myself just to fit in and gain validation from others.
Thank you TAM ❤
tamanna ❤ thankyou for everything you're doing for us 🙏🏽 much love from INDIA 🇮🇳🌼
I love how you talked about confidence. I'm not an introvert but as an extrovert with anxiety, mainly social anxiety, that connected with me.
tam your content is so great you have concern for your followers and gave me good advice as a teen and your not fake like wizard liz
What has she done ? I thought she was a good person
Thank you for making it clear! Introverts are not antisocial they just need more time alone
She is very straightforward that's the reason i like her ❤
I will always be an introvert, I need my time away from people, however I don't have to be shy for the rest of my life and am not going to
I love the way u spread constantly good energy, it's giving girls help the girls and this video truly helped mee
eyy sis thank you soo much for this am entirely grateful I have a tiny winy tip that has helped me I always had a hard time when it came to how I can walk around as an emotional person I tend to have broad shoulders and sometimes when am tired they just bend on their own and that ruined my posture when walking coz I would be hunched down so to get over this i forced myself to wear a sunhat and make sure it covered my eyes so that I would have to be upright if I had to see where I was going and this has helped me soo well with my posture that I no longer walk around like a zombie but I fully stand up and damn the confidence it gives is beyond comprehension it gives people am watching you so don't try to do anything stupid kind of vibes and it's working great for me but once again thank you soo much for the wisdom damn you just hit the nail on the head and am super grateful ❤❤❤heart you lots keep doing the great work
Thank you so much Tam. I've been watching you since the beginning of your channel and even my peers can say I have changed !!! I struggle with social anxiety and my job requires me to just walk up to people, usually I ask to switch roles, but now I've been asking to put myself there and immerse myself with discomfort like you said, and I'm getting stronger! I love the advice you give
notess!
6:01 extrovert bias: the world was built for extroverts 🌏
7:28 tips 💡
- 7:32 put effort in ur appearance -> feeling more confident in yourself
- 8:34 let go of ur fear to be perceived.
> happy people dont judge!
- 10:25 "fake it till u make it" as the first step
- 11:18 just do it if u want a change.
- 12:05 create an alter ego
- 12:11 focus on the energy u hold
> detach, detach, detach!
> watch how u think and say to urself.
15:57 be comfortable in taking up space! 🙋♀️
- embrace and LOVE that people are looking at u
17:20 immerse urself in discomfort 🙃
> "the only person that i need approval from is myself."
18:56 portfolio of proof 📂
> its always a positive experience bc it will teach u a lesson
19:55 stop mirroring other people🪞
> lean into your authenticity, your quirk, your weirdness
20:55 to keep a conversation going, focus on how u'll make them feel 💗
> dont interview them, actually converse and talk abt urself bit by bit throughout the conversation!
22:39 "i am going to meet a new part of myself!?" 😻
> a big change is a w
> discomfort -> discipline
23:02 its OKAY to plan out what ur gonna say/do ☝️
25:44 homework 📝
- tailored exposure therapy
- self education
- dress to impress urself!
- solo dates in a public space!
- develop the relationship with urself -> master detachment
❤thank uu
love this so much❤
Thanks a lot
thank you❤
this video is so useful i’m constantly writing notes down, it’s the start of 2nd semester tdy n all u hv said in this video r things that hv crossed my mind tdy
OH MY GOD THIS IS THE VIDEO I NEED RN AND I'M CURRENTLY READING HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PPL TOOO!!
Tam, I’ve never had a sister growing up. My mom had two brothers, so she never really taught me anything. I also grew up with two older brothers so I had no clue on femininity until I saw your channel. You’re literally a lifesaver, thank you so much! 🙏💗
ADMIT IT TAM! You read our minds right???😳 How'd you know HOW Desperately I needed that!! Thank you so muchhh siss💕✨
Just never stop your RUclips.... Every Friday I wait for her to post a VIDEO👀. They are so Valuableee🙏💫❤️
I would love if you make a video on adjusting your SLEEP ROUTINE... Pleaseeee😩 No one can do it better than you QUEEN 💖👑
Ty so much. This video is AMAZING. You made me realize things about myself I didn’t even fully understand like how I sit quietly wondering if everyone’s judging me yet I can be quiet comfortably instead. Love this channel sm!❤
Im gonna be a freshman this school year and I am trying and hoping to be more confident and more social, your videos are helping me so much. I literally only watch your videos because your the only RUclipsr I need, thank you for the advice, your like a third older sister
💞😭
literally same im gonna be a freshman too....
what tips did u learn??
@@chunkicat None really, I just know I’m staying outttt of drama. I don’t want to waste my teenage years on drama and fights, I’d rather get good grades and get good friends 🙏
@@fatimaz4hraaa slay girl!! have a great time in freshman year :) im also going to grade 9 in september 1st 😭
@@chunkicat You too! I really hope it goes well for both of us 😭
@@fatimaz4hraaa lets do this bro were gonna kill it 🔥🔥 r u in qatar btw?
Tam you never cease to amaze me!! You upload on the regular, your intros to videos are just getting better and better, and you’re so wise!! Thank you for all that you do 🥹
i'd disagree with the first part to an extend. as a child i was extremely shy and introverted. now as a teenager i am quite the opposite, i love spending time with people and it doesn't burn me out. so i think in some cases you can switch up
1. Always be feeling yourself and be confident
2. Dont be scared of judgement
3. Fake it till you make it
4. Identity shift, alter ego
5. Mastering detachment
6. Act like royalty
Challenge: smile when you see a stranger look at you
Exposure therapy
Self learning
Dress acc to yourself
Solo date
Self love
I’m so happy you posted this! I definitely need this given that I started my first internship this week !! 😭❤️❤️
OMGGG GOOD LUCK BABES!! 🫶
@@ashleysanchez1112 thank you!!!!!🫶🫶
Here's what brought me to this video today.
All the books I've read have main charecters who've got an eventful life. Most of them are confident in who they are and have a plot related to what's externally going on in their lives. They have random strangers coming into their lives and becoming something more. They have stuff going on, right?
If you think about it, you only have one life with these particular combination of people on earth. By limiting yourself/staying in your comfort zone, you are missing out on so many opportunities!!
I admit, I may not be a main charecter but the least i could be is someone who adds value to the story.
SIS I am crying fr. This video is valuable af and only works when you actually apply it! You rock it
I'm an introvert and I'm that kind who is not shy. I just don't have the extra energy to converse if I don't have anything important to say 😅
This was a really great video and people should definitely use these tips to advance themselves in life and in their career. I do think that not everyone needs to be this loud, bubbly and cheerful personality. Being chill and soft spoken is not a bad trait at all. Some of us actually find that very endearing. So I think take the advice that is helpful but don't change your personality completely to the point where you become a robot and a copy of what you think a charismatic person should be ❤
I appreciate the necessary repetitions on certain habits needed to elevate yourself throughout the videos. This is SOLID!
Im an intj and this helped me so much :))
Before I always used to think that whether people would like me or not, and from this thought I started to become a people pleaser...people also started to use me but I stayed quiet because all I wanted was to please them. I was also very shy at the moment. However after watching your videos I have been focusing on myself and didn't care at all what other people started to think of me. I have been very confident too!! My self love journey has been going so good!!! Thanks a lot Tam, love you
Tam im 14 years old from India who used to struggle alot but not anymore cuz i have found u..u are an literal angel . Thankyou for transforming my lyf. Loads of lovee and support!! ❤❤
starting my day off w your voice >>
so happy you uploaded this morning 😍
loved this vid, quite a few awesome tips, some that i alrd knew in the back of my head but it's nice to hear em said outloud right?! ^^
oh the dressing amazing when goin out is such a huge one! I started doin it recently and while i do think im overdressed (ppl literally stare at me on the bus or the mall or something lol) it does wonders, it's really a huge energy and mood shifter and i wish i started doing that earlier!
I do wonder tho if ppl are always thinkin damn where's this fancy ass goin, probably to a party or something but its a random tuesday? And I'm like naah I just like lookin good when i step outside, even if im not gonna be meetin a single person 😅
It feels so good and comforting to find someone like me😂❤❤.....u are like my elder sister who guide me toward becoming best version of myself 💖
I feel so grateful to meet you💓
A brilliant storyteller!
I've been solo dating for YEARS.
Life is so hard at the moment but I am not giving up!
you've no idea how eagerly i had been waiting for this video since you informed on your broadcast channel that you gonna post a video about going from being introvert to extrovert
lots of love 💕
as an extrovert who irritates everyone unknowingly, it's cute to know that people wanna be like me. hun, why don't we ever love what we already have?
note to meself 💌develop your relationship with yourself
Personally how ive learnt to overcome my fear of being perceived was by constantly telling myself in my head to quit criticism...if i stopped criticising people and thinking pleasant thoughts about them then I'm obliged to believe they're also thinking same for me and if they aren't then they are just terrible people whereas I'm the non judgmental one with a really light heart😂 and it really helps my energy yeah😊
She's the elder sister I've dreamt of . She's amazing . I can't even tell how much my life changed after listening to her videos ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🧿...grow even even more sis 🧿
Babe thanku so much for doing this. i have so much love and respect for you babe. You've shown me so many new perspectives and literally impacted me in the most positive way ever. More power to youuuu.
Hi! You're probably not gonna see this (especially because how it is) but I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am for this video, especially for its timing haha! I've always been pretty shy and kinda insecure when it comes to talking to others. But this semester I moved to Berlin and I have been really set on being more outgoing, meeting new people and putting myself out there. Today was the first day of my semester and someone in my class suggested that we gathered at a bar on the evening. Although I had all these great resolutions to improve my social confidence, I actually froze. I started panicking because even if I did want to go to this event to meet new people, the fear of being judged, not liked by others etc overwhelmed me and I tried to make up all these excuses as to why I shouldn't go. And then I watched this video just before going to the event and it gave the push and advice I needed to motivate myself to actually go. And so I went there. And it was sooooo cool. I followed your tips and I met and talk to all these amazing people and I can't wait to see again. So thank you for helping me find the courage to outside my comfort zone even if I was scared ❤ I'll remember this for the rest of my life.
I just fumbled across your channel via your video on toxic parent, and i just wanted to say thank you so much for creating this content. These 2 videos have literally hit some many nails on the head for me and made me learn so so much. Immediately subscribed and joined the discord. ❤
Ok i really must say this that how I've been trying to achieve self love and in order to do that I've been working on myself for myself but all of a sudden idk I just felt confused (which yes I often get at times) but I genuinely think this video has given me hope so I ain't stopping from becoming the person I am desired to be :) thanxx Tam
Soft living blooms in the garden of community, where the delicate petals of relationships unfold at their own unhurried pace ❤❤❤ thank you
Tam's helping me so much! Finally someone who isn't afraid to speak, despite her personality 🧡
After watching every video you post I get energised and boosted and I get so into my energy that it feels yes I am going to conquer the world and at times I pause the video because I feel this energy in me that makes get things done hence when I am over it I come back and reward myself continuing the video further 💫
HOMEWORK
1:Exposure therapy say yes to few open things opportunity
2:Self education on self confidence
3:Dress to feel good and confident
4:A solo date important it is
5:A better relationship with your own self important
pls share a like or reply so that I remember to do my homework on time❤❤❤
Love this! It's so true throughout my career i noticed you have to be extroverted to be promoted or you'll be classed as anti social or not part of the team
you are so smart for being so young, i cant even imagine how wise you’re gonna be when you’re like 30+ 😭