The Last Light is the Most Boring Movie Ever Made
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- Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
- The Possum reviews a movie in which five minutes worth of story is stretched out over eighty minutes.
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Hello there
@@charlesralph7105 Hello
@@charlesralph7105 GENERAL KENOBI
I like garbage
Everybody gangsta till Possum starts talking bad about Shrek.
Walking in a building: The Movie
At the credit sequence: heavily inspired by the british film by Charlie Lyne *Paint Drying*
-based on a real story
Death Stranding: The movie
Don't be racist, I am a building!
@@mrmeowsermoney And I got news for youuuu!
You know your movie is bad when a Fred movie is better written.
Proof that human stupidity is more boundless than the universe
I never thought I'd see the day when I heard a Fred movie was better than ANYTHING.
Oh my gammit, that’s bad!
Please stop calling it "movie"
Stfu
Rob: *loses his arm, gets stabbed in the kidney, broke his leg, and gets brain damage*
Also Rob: “It’s probably just Kids”
Rob: *sees a cute girl hanging from the ceiling, then he sees corpses of other two cute girls, a guy in security uniform running from an animatronic bear, a bunch of guys yelling something in unknown language and shooting at strange lion-like creature with two heads that then leaps at them and tears them to shreds, a huge man with strange pyramid mask walking around with huge meat cleaver and then out of nowhere human-like creature with tentacles in place of its mouth appears and punches him in the face*
Also Rob: "It's just a bunch of kids. Time to board the windows."
Also Rob: walks around some more
I guess those kids really were out to get his lucky ARMS all along. So, you see... it was just a prank, lad. As the saying goes, no ARM no foul.
But seriously folks, bodily mutilation and non-consensual amputations aren't cool. These kids are just lucky that the Irish aren't as well-ARMED as over in the States.
💪
Think I seen this guy in Skyrim.
@@cmillerpa33 Rob the kinda guy to see his homie get shot in the neck with a daedric arrow and say it's just them fucking kids
Is it just me? Or does Possum sound... More pissed than usual?
might be sick
@Kaung Chit Naing Your talking about a trash panda.
It’s justified
@@Vikaiso He always sound sick doe
@Kaung Chit Naing Possium is my fave element and vitamin
_"So you're expecting realism in a movie about ghosts?"_ Oh, my God, how I _despise_ that argument. Thank you for calling it out.
Like I hate people saying “So you’re expecting realism in a movie about magic users,” to try and damage control such plot contrivances in fantasy movies.
Or another one I’ve heard. Defending bad sci-fi movies with “So you’re expecting realism in a movie about aliens?”
@@ablosch2452 "You're expecting internal consistency from a movie that operates on its own set of internalized rules? How crazy."
@@BigPuddin Possum even brought this up again in his review of Wonder Woman 1984, where he said that even a fantasy movie must have consistency and rules, or else it ruins cohesion, makes the characters comically farcical, and shatters suspense because they will be saved by out-of-nowhere nonsense.
I love this guy.
Stories are loved by humans because they are more logical than reality which is often confusing as fuck unless you do a deep dive into the people and history of something. Movie Bad guy had bad guy mustache all people with bad guy mustache are bad. They do things because they are bad. Simple logic. people like it. Reality. Person who is bad guy works harder than you'd ever think was possible to appear to be good guy. His actions are based on many variables we can't see. He's probably not actually bad, he just doesn't value other people or honesty. As others have pointed out. A good story has its own logic that is satisfying to the human mind when this is done well people see the movie as more real than reality.
"How does a ghost get drunk?"
By drinking spirits, duh.
Boo! Get off the stage, jackass!
3 years, still no reply, so I did what I did best.
What do you call stoner ghosts?
High spirits.
- Ok, we have a rich history of ghosts, faeries, creatures and entities thanks to the celts, what will we do for our horror movie?
- creepy kids in white and walking!
*HOW COULD YOU WASTE YOUR CULTURE SO MUCH?!*
heck No exactly! Irish culture has some genuinely good monsters for a horror movie and these fuckers just went for spooky kids.
Also that house was literally wasted on this movie. it looks so cool! But these fuckers used it so poorly.
Low budget filmmaker clearly
Apparently it's based on a true story...
Ali Gator they are all “based” in “true” stories
@@TheUnoriginalDrCorgi I want to know what house it is to find more pictures, it's beautiful.
"Then he lights a cigarette even though he just had one three minutes ago."
Clearly the Possum has never met a smoker
*C A N C E R* *C A N C E R*
A severely Addicted Backy Fiend.
*CANCER CANCER*
I can confirm.
YEAH I GUESS NOT GOOD FUCKING GOD.......😅🤣 Yeah that whole "i just had one," thing goes out the window when you start approaching a pack a day.......
What if the wife was still alive, but she died when Rob walked over the debris.
Carlton C. nah, the directors wouldn’t do that. That would be funny! And we can’t have fun in this movie!
Probably was with how the hand twitched lol
@@xx4444xxDOTexe yes
@@xx4444xxDOTexe nice
wifey mcwife died after being crushed by a falling greenscreen asset
I cannot stand the "A fictional element exists, so there are 0 aspects that should make sense." Argument.
And I hear it so many times...
Yes, I was so happy he brought that up, too!
Listen, it's a movie about space wizards intended for children.
@@ruddishark listen real life ww2 soilders couldnt respawn so its fine if we add one handed cripplied celt paint wearing cyborg women to a ww2 game
@@wilmagregg3131 lmao
You know it reminds me of that annoying troupe that been overdone, of the person telling the truth but only shows up around when they're no other witnesses and nobody believes them until it's too late. You know like that Looney Tunes WB frog that would only sing, Hello my Baby, around another person was so nobody else would believe him. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michigan_J._Frog
Michigan J. Frog - Wikipedia
Edit: I forgot a lot of times it's the boy who cried wolf. They make it a character that's too young, or the person is a criminal or something. I wish that they will subvert more for good tropes.
Possum's side plot with his additional characters is more interesting and entertaining than the movie he's reviewing.
Yeah, it really is.
One thing, is still actually watch this than the 💩 Movie (get it? It can be "the Emoji Movie," or "the Shit Movie."
There should be a season 1 of Possum Reviews that accumulate into a finale with all the side characters joining forces hahaha
Right? I love the side plots
@@GoFartherPodcast YOU KNOBHEAD
Totes.
America:Has music in movies that is awful but listenable
Ireland: Has music in movies that is worst ear rape to the point where it is like the ring where whoever listens to this music will go into cardiac arrest
Oh God, are people still using the Nobody: meme?
Edit: I like how the op edited their comment in shame
@@SonofTiamat Yes, unfortunately they are.
@Dmitry TKR Exactly. I don't get what the whole "nobody" thing is supposed to add.
@Jacobfatpotato it’s Phil swift for flex tape
@@stevenrowan9244 The No one:/Nobody: meme was originally a way to poke fun at inexplicable non-sequiturs, particularly with regard to JK Rowling retconning her stories unnecessarily
No one:
JK Rowling: Harry was a black transexual the whole time
Unfortunately, this is the internet, and people with poor social skills didn't recognize the joke, they just register a meme and copy/paste it like NPCs
In short, the No one: meme is now an inexplicable non-sequitur. Thanks for ruining it, normies with aspergers
You know it's kind of a shame that the movie is so bad, the location could work very well for a good horror movie with a talented director! Srsly that house looks like it's ripped straight out of silent hill. Anyway really enjoyable video!
Correction: it's Shaym, Dr.Shaym
There are actually good horror movies located in Ireland. My personal picks are the hallow, the hole in the ground and (if you like horror comedies) grabbers. I work in retail and sold them some of the props they used.
If you've never seen Session 9, you should also check that one out. They filmed it in Danvers State Mental Hospital before it was demolished a few years later, and the atmosphere the location brings to that film is hauntingly creepy.
"He eventually finds a door labeled Clinical room, and goes inside.. then nothing happens" Lol
It's like a punchline by that point
Ive been in that building, when I was in college we filmed a "movie" in there too! It was about the same quality as this movie though...Seems like its less a movie and more a case of "we know this place that looks like a creepy haunted house so we dont need to put any production value into making it look nasty, which means our cheap movie will look like it has production value".Which is always a noble way to make a film.
D Moo could you tell me exactly where that building is located? It honestly looks cool af and I would want to visit it someday
@@TheUnoriginalDrCorgi Cairndhu house, its outside of Larne. The movie betrays the size of the place, it has multiple smaller buildings on the estate that are bricked up too.
D Moo ah I see, thanks a lot man I appreciate it!
"I guess it was kids the whole time" had me cracking up hard
The background music makes his ranting sound cute and more gentle
Angery Poteto ikr he sounds like a how a 6 year old sounds in their head when they’re having a tantrum
Leprechaun's accent wasn't too off when he said, "Whad'ya mean?"
Northern Ireland does not claim this work.
Hit and Run (2009) It is atrocious.
I appreciate a slow burn movie as much as the next guy, but there still has to be a fire.
It's by that definition a pile of logs, gently steaming away, with barely visible trails of smoke.
That's a great way to put it
When bad editing and cinematography is supposed to be "building tension," you know you're watching a bad horror movie
Rob is a funnier character than we've ever had before, he is the key to all this!
Meesa Jar Jar Binks
@@Hi-df2om Jar Jar was actually better written....I cant believe I just said that..
@Gary Hall too fat to be Sith, he could be an x wing pilot like Porkins
Dr Blue
Lol Rob the X wing pilot, failing to do his simple job of boarding up windows from the outside before going in, then getting sucked in the vacuum of space.
@@LucyWest370 he would disappear into fat air!
You sounded especially angry in this one
Well, the movie _was_ especially boring.
Also, featured a "mentally challenged" protagonist.
I still feel offended just watching the 20 minutes review with entertaining skits and commentary. Just imagine this guy have to go through 80 minutes of this shit and have to pay attention to everything to review it then go through it again to get the footage he need, i would break my fucking computer if i were him.
12:06, does wifey mcwife have a milk mustache or something? What is that?
She’s probably shaving
@@brianaguilar8283 or it's toothpaste, because she had herpes.
@@besserwissersmartass1170 What?! Loool
@@TCthaCrisisyeah, you just gotta apply it to the herpes, wait over a few hours till it gets dry, then wash it off, check the skin and if necessary put some new toothpaste on it.
Repeat that over the course of 1-2 days and you should be good.
@@besserwissersmartass1170 I thought that was a joke. I don't have those problems but thanks for the info just in case
To be honest, I think you might get more enjoyment watching the grass grow.
I find watching paint dry more exciting
Ever thought about that? Would highly reccomend.
I mean wit watching grass grow at least you’d be able to see some other interesting things like maybe a squirrel, or an anthill
@@BappO-is-me And its mildly pleasing to look at.
I wanna watch a movie written by the *Possum*
Well you could try buying hundreds of opossums and teach each one how to write a script. I'm sure with the number of opossums writing at least one will write a useable script before they die from natural causes.
@@tylerwaynes2107 None of those possums are _the_ Possum, though.
and reviewed by the nostalgia critic
Bisexual Ichigo - the possuming, Alien vs Possum, Possum the 13th, nightmare on Possum street
Tyler Waynes I kinda wanna see that now
It’s just a video of a guy trying to teach a possum how to wright 😂
There’s another movie called The Last Light, about 7 guys who get trapped in an abandoned hospital right while the apocalypse breaks out. And it’s certainly less boring than this one.
"The movie ends" ... well, that's arguable.
This movie feels like 5 neons instead of 80 minutes.
@@zvenafnazbalji7539 Eons?
This might ACTUALLY be worse than Little Red Riding Hood
At least that movie had boobs.
Ο Τραπεζίτης/Τhe Banker of a child 😦
@@organicdog5648 technically he isnt wrong so we cant boo him
yeah, at least Little Red Riding Hood actually has SOME shit going on (which isn't saying much)
So, 3/4 of this movie is...
Rob walk around until nothing happens...
and then smokes a cigarette.
Ok.
Just imagine this guy at a job interview.
"So, Rob. It says here in your resume that you have experience as a professional window boarder."
"Yep."
"And... that's literally it..."
"So I'm hired?"
The ghost was probably drinking spirits 😐
You beat me to it!
So it's a Cannibalistic ghost
-__-
😖
That is without doubt the WORST attempt at an Irish accent I've ever heard. It was perfect.
Wifey Mcwife... imagine that name at the Oscars
With all its glory
Alongside Hubby de Husband.
The fact that you had to rewatch Fred to fully review this movie...
Speechless
Walking Simulator: The Movie.
Thankskilling has a higher budget than this garbage.
At least that was meant to be a parody. It was an unfunny parody, but still. This movie attempted to be serious, despite having more shots of darkness than Seventh Moon, being ungodly boring, and being filled with stock music. It's amazing how Possum manages to find movies so bad, even Film Brain wouldn't review them. Seriously, Fred the Movie is the most mainstream film he's ever reviewed.
if that name "rob walker" was a coincidence made by the producers im gonna be mad
10:16
Should we ignore the fact that there is no way Rob didn't see the man when he turned?
He may even be deaf (wich he's not) but there is just no way he didn't see anything despite turning on his left. (sorry if I made some mistakes,english is not my language)
Luigi Campo b-but it’s scaaaaaaary!!!
@@TheUnoriginalDrCorgi I know that you are being sarcastic about this,but because of the way the scene was made,it looks more like something you would watch in a commedy,you could legitimately watch it and laugh.
All they had to do was put him in the foreground and then he’d at least have a reason to not see it on turning. We’d still see it, but he wouldn’t. I hate when “directors” think that just because the audience can’t see something they act like the characters can’t. Happens so often. “Oh look at house we didn’t see until the camera pointed at it even though we’re 20 feet away from it as characters.” There’s no way you didn’t see it way before shut up
An Irish ghost story? I got one. It's called "The Last Guinness" a Irish ghost story. Once upon a time the Guinness factory burned down, the end. Oooooh so spooky if your Irish.
Dont scare me like that
Yesterday, I went back and rewatched 36 feminist questions for men answered.... I miss you Dr. Shaym
I’m afraid people have to move on those types of videos can’t really survive on RUclips these days
He is a lawyer irl so he doesn't really do this for the money only.
@@cahallo5964 Not denying you, and not to come off as mean, but what about what I said had to deal with money? I was simply saying it was nostalgic
@@kwivvv2577 The guy up there saying he couldn't survive on youtube nowadays.
@@cahallo5964 now I feel dumb, that makes sense
This is the first time I heard Possum Reviews be genuinely angry and I loved it.
I like how in a movie where there's a bunch of ghosts, it's the husband who accidentally kills the wife and her friend. Like WHAT???
I'm so dumb for thinking the wife subplot would actually lead to anything LMAO I thought she would find the protagonist but they just tossed it to the bin.
When the review has more plot than the actual movie
"oh, thats why she was so easy." Damn...
There is literally only 1 dislike at the time of writing this
Ian Schermerhorn same it’s 3 rn
It’s four now, with over a thousand and seven hundred likes, which I’ve added too. :)
Was it Rob Walker?
Seriously now,who dislikes these kinds of videos?Fans of those atrocious movies?
@Артур Коптев not groovy
Also I see u are a resident evil fan
2 minutes in and I'm wondering why did the guy drive soo far away from the gate to walk back and close it.
That music during the driving...
"I'm feeling sodis... Neck did!"
What is he even saying?
@@impcityangel3245 I believe "I'm feeling so disconnected"?
Don’t worry guys I have a lightbulb.
Even the Irish ghost joke at 5:01 had more plot and character development, than the actual damn movie.
Very entertaining videos, mate. Keep it up
I was expecting Fred 2, but I’m also glad you didn’t subject your precious time to reviewing it.
He might since he punched Fred's ghost lol
Please tell me that isnt real.
Sarah An, I’ll spare you with a lie. There isn’t a second, or third one.
@@grivebulbs7539 OH FOR F.U.C.K.S SAKE!Really?A second and a third one?
@Ο Τραπεζίτης/Τhe Banker There was also a Tv show too.
The actor who played Rob won an award for best acting. I'm NOT joking.
Acting as a character that uninteresting, so boring it becomes annoying takes skill
the only channel that I am not annoyed when it shows up in my notifications
If your annoyed by people uploading maybe don’t sub to them
I like that I can hear your normal voice bleeding through xD
This channel is so low budget it's amazing. Perhaps this is what happens when you review the lowest of the low in the garbage bin.
Let's be honest: This channel is _still_ higher budget than the reviewed films deserve.
@@coryzilligen790 Oh without a doubt. It's funny how good this channel actually is
the ending made me almost burst a blood vessel
"Rob Walker walks around"
Better title
The Last Light movie is that type of movie you watch when your only have 1 and 20 minutes left to live so it feels like an eternity.
That kid screaming at 9:00 was strangely funny
When your movie is so bad to the point fred:the movie is being used as a positive example, then you know you have a promblem.
TheWalkingSimulator: TheMovie.
Based on the videogame DeathStranding. Trust me, you will feel it.
I get frustrated everytime Fred is mentioned. Like visibly twitch.
It's still better than this boring movie even though only slitley
Ayyyyyy he has ads now does that mean he’s monetized?
Good possum
Maybe his video already got claimed and the movie company is monetizing it
5:20
You totally missed an opportunity to make a "Spirits" punchline.
I feel like this movie was made as a tongue-in-cheek response to the general rule of film show don't tell. It's almost as though they read that rule in a film 101 book or something and said, "Oh we'll show you." :P
5:24 as a person who is like 65% Irish I can confirm that when people steal my lucky charms I get pissed. Also whenever I walk up to somebody music that sounds Celtic (kelt-ick not selt-ick) starts playing.
The ending in your review was a better twist than 99% of movies twist endings :P
Drinking game: take a shot whenever something exciting happens in this movie
I’m negative 14 in
Walking around in a building in silent, I've never seen so much action in one movie.
Why the hell does Wifey McWife have a milk moustache at 12:07
Da fuck I just noticed that
That is from the iMovie stock music library, it's suspense accents 07
Would've been better if Rob Walker was being haunted by his brother, Doug Walker and has to listen to him screaming in a high pitched voice every 5 minutes. Now that would be terrifying.
"I gues they're dead now. GOOD"
There was a moment where I thought the "irish" ghost was gonna go full Arnold Schwarzenegger on us
That Little Red Riding Hood horror movie: Who are you?
The Last Light - An Irish Ghost Story: I'm you but more boring!
This dude deserves 1 mil. He is the best review channel I’ve ever seen
16:56 in the wise words of Shadiversity, "having realistic things in a fantasy setting makes it feel more grounded, and makes it easier to accept the fantastical elements"
When he was smoking a butt and he heard the thumping; his head movements gave me serious john tron vibes.
As soon as you said ten minutes I laughed for ten minutes
Horror movie antagonist: (is clearly supernatural)
(Bad) Horror movie protagonist, about 5000 times: "It's clearly a dog/some kids/a highly aggressive swarm of bees"
The only horror film I've seen which subverts this is Attack The Block, which makes sense since Attack The Block is one of the two horror films I've actually seen (so far, since I'm a bit more into horror than I used to be) and is (in my opinion) a subversive masterpiece that I should really make a video on as soon as I can track down a copy.
0:24 "This goes on for two tedious minutes until we see our protagonist, the unfortunately named Rob Walker." I don't believe I've ever laughed so hard that early into a movie review before. 👍
Only found your channel recently, but you have a gift for comedy and sharp cutting remarks. Looking forward to hopefully seeing your channel grow!
Thank God, I Got Tired At Laughing At The FRED Review
ratchet256 I Just Find It Visually Stimulating When Typing/Texting In An Non-Professional Manner, I Didn’t Mean To Offend Anybody
My trip to Ireland got canceled, instead I have this.
Finally, some delicious garbage served up
"Fred is annoying, but he isn't boring."
one of the best quotes I've heard.
Screenwriter: We only have about 20 minutes of runtime with this script.....How can you possibly make this a full movie?
Director: Well, You said it was a big house right? Let's just fill the extra time with sightseeing.
Producer: Brilliant! Take my money!
I don't get these filmmakers who make these terrible ghost movies. They seem to think that showing someone walking abound with a flashlight saying nothing while nothing happens is scary or suspenseful. It's not. It's just really boring. I have seen several "scary" movies where a big chunk of the first part is taken up by this sort of thing. It's right up there with those bad found footage movies that spend 30-45 minutes on the characters just getting to where the story is going to happen for tedious, boring, pointless padding. I guess that's what you do if you have 45 minutes worth of movie but need to pad it out to feature length. You just pad it out with boring scenes of people driving or walking around some place where it's free to film while nothing happens,. Throw in some royalty free spooky music to try to convince people that something is happening. Maybe add in a cheap scare or two.
6:08 they really used a laugh from five nights at freddys 2
I don't recall hearing that in FNAF 2
11:56 "Alright, you drunken, translucent bastard!" 😂😂
And about the movie, no words will never describe how utterly stupid or brainless it was
The Wilhelm scream is the best part of the whole movie.
I took a break from watching your content when I went to college, but I have to say how thoroughly impressed I am at the sheer improvement in your pacing, delivery, and quality. keep up the good work ye fockin nobhead
Of all the stupid premises for someone to go into a creepy building, this one takes the cake. Since when do you board up dilapidated abandoned buildings...from the inside?!
This movie would have been much better as an atmospheric horror game.
These reviews are brilliant, I always look forward to the next one.
My left ass cheek could make a better movie and it's only half as smart as the right one.
Although no matter what, the movie would be pretty shitty.
This is like a really low lowww budget Grave Encounters.
13:55 well duh! Ghosts can't go through doors, they're not fire
this entire movie in just 1 sentence: "rob walks around some more"
Fallout 76 had more production time than this
largest ouch
Not funny didn't laugh
Hot damn!
The music you have playing in the background the whole time has quite literally driven me crazy