People Bully Feminine Women Because They're "Soft"
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- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
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Dark Femininity Masterclass: exoticals-unit...
Yes especially in the black community being pretty & feminine is like wearing a target on your back. I got called bougie, prissy and stuck up growing up just because I was cute & girly and it was always by women in my family or girls my age who were more masculine and aggressive
The amount of forced masculinization black women go through just to survive is actually so crazy, and there should be a study on the long term trauma it causes. My mom, grandma, and great grandma all had to be "hard" and work a lot, and it made them have a really warped relationship with femininity. I've noticed this is the case for a lot of older black women. They put all their femininity into getting pretty for church, and then resent other black women for embracing theirs in a deeper, more holistic way.
So true
I too was bullied! It was sad
Facts
@@ras3024wow, spot on analysis about women only putting femininity into getting ready for church! I hadn’t realized how true this was
and then they start wanting to make your life hard and want you to struggle because they believe you have it easy …literallly my life story right here. Exoticals United you have changed my life !
Omg this!!!!
Another sign of a woman being super masculine is keeping a very messy, dirty house and car. I get criticized for having a clean organized house and car.
The people who criticize you for that are absolute weirdos
My car is messy and I’m a mom. I’m easily a feminine beautiful woman. I think that’s an unfair read. Sometimes cleanliness is based off factors like how yu were raised, trauma, and control. Sometimes even from anxiety.
Also, being around feminine men
Many men these days don't know how to change a tire
@@NitreValdane clean up to be even more feminine
I have noticed this. I have been told to toughen up or that my situation isn’t as bad as someone else’s.
Right!!! It’s like um… not everyone is constantly comparing themselves to everyone else. I’m talking about what IM going through here not how much worse someone else has it 😂 that’s just another deflection when people say that
I’ve observed how other races don’t promote and encourage violence amongst their race and children like ours. It’s as if our community glorifies nefarious behavior. The sh!ts sickening!
Being a ABW with autism and that takes everything literally, this hits so hard :-( I used to treat stuffed animals like real things and tell them sorry if they fell on the floor
@@justafellowsamaritan7845I’m very proud of you girl 🎉❤
lol, I hear you. I used to do that when I was young. I would feel neglectful if I wasn't playing with certain toys. I think it was just a show of empathy. When we are young, I feel like we are practicing how to interact with actual people by using toys. And some of it is just for fun. Be blessed
@@justafellowsamaritan7845Aww, no need to have guilt.❤️🩹 You were not a terrible person, you were simply trying to figure out how to navigate the world. That is no easy task when one is neurodiverse, it is not your fault. Sending hugs your way.🤗
Awww, 😢! Thank you for being so transparent. You are sooooo much stronger than you think. ❤
You have a heart of gold 💛
NOPE!! I want ALL the smoke! It’s honestly a blessing in disguise because they underestimate us by thinking we aren’t a threat. BIG MISTAKE! HUGE!!
Absolutely correct!! I literally use their mistaking my kindness for weakness to my advantage. When I stand up toe to toe and express my thoughts, everyone is shocked, because they assume you don’t have the courage to do so! Their bad!!
@@dianasongbirdcollins7520 EXACTLY, Diana! I wish I could be a fly on the wall. 🤣“ They goin’ learn today! “
I love the shock It gives people when we finally speak up. 🙌
@@princesspoppy6983 RIGHT!! I’m so nice that by the time I slap someone, everyone’s like, “ What did you do or say to her?! It had to have been your fault because shes good to everyone! “
In my early teenage years I used to help my mother conduct business over the phone she would encourage me to yell and scream at customer service representatives but I fought against this toxic programming. I get harshly criticized for walking away from conflict and drama people including my family members call me soft, scary white girl.
Same! My sister has serious anger issues and she always thinks of my mom and I as weak or “scary” because we aren’t as confrontational or aggressive. She wonders why she struggles with men, but doesn’t seem to understand that her behavior is extremely combative. Her road rage is absolutely insane. 🥴
I sometimes worry about her safety because eventually she’ll run into someone who isn’t threatened by her antics. It’s better to avoid hostility when you’re a woman. She doesn’t understand that it’s not weakness, it’s basic wisdom.
Is your dad there?
Or, is he soft
Besides, ladies aren't really pushovers
Im getting bullied at work for this exact reason
Take the logical and legal route. This has happened to me several times at different places. One time, I told my supervisor everytime X employee would tell me something negative, that’s I’m writing it down in this notebook. She sure stopped. Another time, I went to the office of equal opportunity to s harassment. Currently, I’m being 80% my kind sweet self but occasionally showing a resting B face and letting my claws come out as needed. So far, that has been the best technique. They kinda have to know beforehand that you will come for them otherwise, they will start biting hard first.
As a pretty and self aware woman, This exactly what I experience right now at work. I am also a spiritual awakened person. I trust my intuition and love myself the way I am. I have healed many parts of myself. And the unhealed woman think their wounded femininity is much stronger than my healed divine / dark femininity. They think their ego holds more power because they don’t understand anything about this. They tried to project onto me that I am “insecure” and they gossiped about me. And I organised a meeting where I told openly that I want to be respected by everyone just the way I respect everyone. And that I don’t want commentary about my personality or uniqueness. And since then they have been very quiet.
Yep that was my experience, especially cause I am soft spoken. I would always be asked "why are you so soft spoken" or "you're so quiet" as if that is a bad thing 😂. I wanna start my channel too. But I don't know if I can use pic from Pinterest or celebrity pic from their instagram without getting in trouble with YT. Great video EU
You can use stock images if that helps
@@Laquia thank you 🩷💕💕
@@elongankona2562 Your electric sis good luck 🤞🏾❤️
I had a woman at work mock my ‘posh’ accent (I’m British) I speak articulately, it really bothered her because she sounded like bat man 😂😂 she’d repeat words I said and make fun of them..
This is such great content. Your message would have done wonders for my younger self. My parents did not teach me anything. As a result, I did not know how to deal with jealous destructive people. I have been so mistreated because of my femininity. The black community has been so hard on me. Thank you for this message.
I could have written this comment 💕 I feel you girl.
I came across some people who were troubled by my soft voice and openly made assumptions about me to my face. I once went for a job interview and the owner, who was Black, made me talk to him while sitting near a radio which was on! When I suggested to move into a quieter area he refused. The way he spoke to me made it obvious that he liked playing mind games.
I withdrew my application straightaway after we finished.
this video just reminded me of when the lipstick alley broads got mad that I had a feminine voice lol
Yes 😂😂😂
The way I just said this...they accuse girly girls of using Ai to change their voice
This is the story of my life. Thanks for building this wonderful platform to advocate for beautiful Women! You are doing “Gods work!” ❤ You are one of my new favorite channels! We appreciate all that you do.
That's why I don't go anywhere else these days. Everyone always has shit to say
Something recently happened my I was in the bus and my hair wasn’t looking to good but I’m always told tht I look like a model and this unanimous girl was taking a pic of my hair and laughing.the things pretty women go through
Unfortunately, my sister and I were bullied so much coming up we learned to fight at an early age. It wasn’t until many years later we realized why we were being targeted. So yeah we have stories and they deserve to be heard. Thank you for this space. 🙏🏼
Im not exotic or mixed, but i have been bullied my entire life by other black women for being feminine and soft and for wearing makeup... I thought something was wrong with me.
There is nothing wrong with you, femininity is a super power many envy
This is the TRUTH. I wear my hear up most of the time at one elementary school I went to b/c the girls would either pull my hear or make the meanest comments about. I thought it was b/c my hear was ugly. It wasn't until I was in middle school that I was told that it was the texture that was the problem with alot of girls there smh
I swear you’re psychic or an empath because you’re telling my story since a kid I was shunned and made fun of in the BC for being tender-hearted, a small fry/lil bit, doll face girl. I didn’t understand why back then, but my family moved and I had so many Blk boys even gown arse bm trying to befriend me calling me “high yellow” it was scary. My father moved my family again to suburbs- more so multicultural- Italian, French, Asian etc, only mixed - Blk were there and I heard the Same experience from mixed races dealing with BP. I’m not a religious person but I read the teachings of Jesus and he said a prophet isn’t accepted among his own and this scripture resonates with me regarding BP. Far as bm if they can’t use a fair skinned- that’s what I call it, no meaning offense, excuse me, but being fair- high yellow is fetishized by BC to freakish levels. I’m an expatriate of the BC, always felt at odds because I’m an individualist, a punk, proud intellectual, also I’m highly principled. It shocks me that Bm call bw masculine when it’s blk culture that forces bw to be hard as a survival tactic or they will be victims of so many horrific things. Softness is a risk in bc. This is why I tell young blk mothers with daughters to leave a mostly blk area because your daughters can’t be soft/feminine in danger with predators around.
the way this is my life story! i swear i was just talking about this the other day. my friend said i just need to be tougher so i don’t get bullied. and i said, you’re right if i acted more masculine or tough i won’t get bullied but that’s because my softness is precisely what triggers the majority of women’s envy. if i acted tough i wouldn’t be a threat. i would be another pretty but masculine/aggressive woman. the softness and gentleness is what truly captivates! ❤ learning how to transmute hateful energy from bullies (instead of letting myself fall into their negativity) is a game changer 🪄 obviously there’s a time to be angry or stand up for yourself but i reserve that darker energy for serious stuff not a random bitter betty 💋
Change your environment. Take my advice as an older woman who suffered same as you. This may sound unfair and it is, but it’s harder for y’all today. You can’t be friends with tough masculine girls, esp bw. Being friends with “gh Blk girls” will cause you your life. My father always told me that I’m not better than anyone but I’m better than BS. Listen to me, live with a worldwide vision- individualist.
Listen to my advice, it’s harder for beautiful soft LS women because of today’s bc which is more dangerous. My father told me that I’m not better than anyone but I’m better than BS. Stay away from masculine bw- mammies, and leave the toxic bc, become an individualist with a worldview.
@@user-bx2wl7we5k wow thanks for your reply. i say wow cuz i think i truly needed to hear that, as much as i already know what you’re saying is true deep down i make excuses because it’s what i was taught to do being raised in a strict christian household. it’s something i’ve gotten better with but i still unfortunately struggle with it and end up burned by female friends. and this friend i referred to in my comment i do feel off vibes from at times. something about her eyes. anyway thanks for sharing that because it’s important for us to protect ourselves and surround ourselves with those who are equally yolked so to speak. ❤
@@justafellowsamaritan7845 i’m so happy you’ve embraced your softness ❤ it can feel like a curse but the more you tap into it you realize it’s absolutely your superpower. it’s like the saying, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. absolutely true. your softness will open doors that toughness could never!
This guy from a very dangerous area asked me if I knew how to fight. I actually do but asked why he asked that. This man said because you’re very feminine and I feel you get bullied a lot. LMAOOO. I have never heard of that before, but it made sense because when I would stand up for myself the bullies would coward. Femininity isn’t a look but a way a woman carries herself.
This was uploaded at a perfect time for me. Funny to speak on bullying right when I’m experiencing it (but what makes it more weird is experiencing from your own family) imagine living with a parent constantly throwing shots at you, trying to CONSTANTLY trigger you to anger to “prove you aren’t a punk” (which I will be honest is very weird…like why as a women are you dying to have someone “prove they aren’t a pussy” LMFAO. Like it is VERY BAD…she is screamed lies on me through the entire house. (With me I haven’t really gotten to go to middle school and high school due to being homeschooled) so most of my bullying was experienced by my own parent. Being told before while throwing shots I am not “all that” LMAO like how are you mad your child is viewed as beautiful from people in society anyway…that’s weird as hell (oh and than even though I am being called all sorts of names from this narcissistic…they attempt to gaslight me into trying to convince me I am jealous of them despite them borderline BULLYING ME). I’m not gonna type a long thing about it because it’s a story (I could email you the story time since my case is very strange when I get the free time of course).
Oh yeah forgot to state in the comment that I am definitely working on LEAVING. Moving out to a dorm to start my journey away from this CONSTANT toxicity I been experiencing.
@@ayeadagio965 Sounds like your mom is BM identified. Please get trauma therapy to help you live your best life. Hugs to you!
No matter how much she begs. Never move back. I made that mistake. My mom is uabw. She despises mls women. Growing up she would say I'm black. I hated mls women too. I was delusional and carried her hatred because it was easier than coming to the realization she actually hated me too. I thought if I simply claimed black. I'd be safe. But no. I was still bullied.
My mom grew up with a brother and all male cousins and then went to school for computer programming, so she was always in environments that prioritized the masculine. And she is the type of person that's most comfortable and thrives in her primarily masculine energy, which is fine, but it made her approach to life really incompatible with me and my sisters. They say when you have kids they'll likely have something about them that triggers you, and our femininity was definitely that for her. Not only did she have all daughters, we're all "feminine" zodiac signs (cancer, libra, and taurus), and we all thrive being in our feminine. She would constantly tell us we were too sensitive and berate us for not doing things her way. I used to think there was something wrong with us until I started embracing my femininity. Then I realized I was just different from my mom, therefore her methods of success wouldn't really work for me or make me happy. But she still can't stand me embracing myself and doing what works for me, its all a bunch of woo-woo nonsense to her. I'm happier and more confident than ever though, so it doesn't matter to me anymore.
Ugh this makes sooo much sense 😭. I never thought about it like that before. Im not turning beastily for them. I grew up in the hood, but i had 3 brothers, and all of my boy cousins were super protective over me because I was the sensitive one. I thought it was a bad thing until now. I'm embracing my princess status.
I'm not to be triffled with but I am not about to tussle with these ruffians. The beauty of the internet I can just block.
I don't frequent places with angry wierdos so im good 🤭.
EU did it again with this one, you got me all in my feelings 😢❤
I have recently had a glow up. It was naturally though, my body filled in and my features soften even more. I could not express my experiences, because I was always somewhat ok looking, which I never mid. This channel has been a great outlet and a saver for me. I now experiences most of the challenges you are talking about. Thank you for this space.
There's an exotical subreddit now :D
what’s it called?
@@1Sahra r/Exoticals it’s still fairly new only 12 followers at the time of me typing this
I can relate all too well, because I WAS BULLIED throughout both elementary and high school!
I wore a pale blue dress to the movies when the Barbie movie came out and I got evil stares from masculinas cuz how dare I wear a dress to the movies ... they went ahead gossiping about me, making fun of me. It was not even a short or revealing dress. Just a cute pale blue summer dress knee length. They hated it cuz it made me stand out, ironically all these dusty women came to see Barbie which is all about femininity and girl power. I think feminine women are rare. There are many "hot" women, but not many feminine women out there.
That’s a great point !
Wear a dress to work? Lipstick? Public enemy #1
I was JUST talking about this. People have tried me my entire life. I have a very youthful face and I’m petite. I’ve found hairstyles that make me look more mature. I think that helps a bit.
Please don't change for the idiots. You need to look good AF when you ignore them.
This is so true! Both I and my mother get bullied by our own family members.
They call us bougie, stuck up because we talk "white" in other words properly.
We both move to the suburbs out of NYC.
What makes it worse, I am all the lighter side.
Years ago, my ex used to call me a punk because of my dreams moving to the peaceful suburbs.
Also a cop caller😂🤷🏽♀️
Can you do a video on people who are physically pretty but may not themselves think they are pretty! Tips on navigating the world with everyone thinking you got the world but mentally you don’t! Such a models some of them are at high status because of the worlds label of beauty but admittedly open they did not think they are pretty at all.
I am bullied by my own mother sister’s cousins aunts 🤦🏾♀️
It happened to me as well when I was growing up! My Mother saw it & she tried to keep me away from those family members, but it was hard
Whoever that first girl was … MY GOODNESS 🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️
Omggg. Was just talking about this in my video! Love the timing. This is 100% my experience as a girly girl
Thanks for talking about this. Very interesting conversation
yep .. I'm soft-spoken, feminine and I know how to fight
Yes this is so true!! ❤
Whew! This.
Would you ever consider arranging a debate with Chrissie? I feel like your talking points are so valid.
😂 this comment feels so messy. But I'm gonna give it the benefit of the doubt
@@cindylou3524 I suggest it because I listened to Chrissie’s livestream last night and all I heard was name calling and accusations of so called psychological
Tactics of manipulation. I used to be subbed to her but I unsubbed years ago. I think Exotical would body her claims and expose the fact that beauty and confidence can exist without insulting and othering ppl. Never messy, always factual and direct. They might as well right?
I was one of those; in the 'hood, anything/anyone not hyper-ghetto (including violent) is problematic (usually--but far from all-- LS/MGM/BIPOC fit the description). It was really bad when I was a kid in the 1970's/early 1980's.
Ow yea true
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Ow yea
Thank You for another amazingly accurate video Exoticals United 💯… Stay Pretty 🪞🤩🩷