Mine too. What is commonly known as 'love' is just an illusion. As Sócrates said, "Know thyself." I believe it's the secret to everything in one's life. Thank you for this great video. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Your dad was hurt by someone, you wanna follow his footsteps a d reject everyone? Yes, there are shot people in thos world but there are nice too. You can find them only by being open.
This is completely true. Speaking as someone with an addictive personality, the excitement and rush of emotions we feel at the start of a new relationship are just our biology at work-that’s not real love; it’s infatuation, like chasing a high. Everything feels fresh and thrilling because of the novelty, and we feel like we’re on cloud nine with this new person. This is what most people chase (my former self included) Real love, though, is much deeper. It’s about being with someone who sees the best in you, helps you grow, and supports you despite knowing your flaws. Real love involves kindness and sacrifice, similar to how a parent would do anything for their child. You’re absolutely right about love requiring effort, including the work of understanding and improving yourself. You need to know who you are and develop into someone you’re genuinely proud of, with values that matter to you. Once, someone asked me, “Would you date yourself? If you met someone just like you-flaws and all-would you want a relationship with them?” Because in a real relationship, those issues will definitely come up. Today, society places so much emphasis on physical attraction that relationships often feel like throwaway things. After my divorce and a series of short term relationships ignoring red flags, I chose to stay single until I felt I had grown enough to offer someone love and support without needing validation. I wanted to reach a place where I could give love because I already valued myself, not because I needed something in return.
You have summed it up very well! All I would add is that many people will stay with someone who is abusive, but still think they are loved. No love ever involves being cruel or spiteful. If that’s happening, get out. End it.
In my own experience falling in love was the way to escape real life, to get certain hormones. It's not about love at all. You use other person like the source for your "happiness", don't really care about him. Inner work, self growth is the best decision
I agree with you 100%. It can be easier said than done but once you see how superficial most relationships have become, you definitely know that you don't want something fake like that. You want something real. True connection and love is the highest form of consciousness in the universe.
Once you can embrace the impermanence of relationships and take them for what they are in the moment, you no longer need them to be happy. The relationship doesn't define you. This allows you to be authentic and just enjoy and appreciate people you are with when you are with them. Mind you, when you are married (as I am) you may decide to maintain a relationship for all its faults and challenges knowing that it will never achieve anything close to some fairytale perfection. Perhaps it brings stability and consistency. (e.g. We wanted children. Children need a mom and dad. We may not "love" each other as we once did, but we can still be happy together without resentment by accepting our relationship for what it is. We are committed to it.)
Love is commitment. Really before one has babies, there should be an understanding that mom and dad will love the children, be committed to the children's development.
As someone who has been going through a lot of nonsense in the dating world and with women, this channel brings a lot of clarity and common sense. I’m a devout Catholic, so we differ on a lot, but it’s remarkable how what you’re saying is similar to what a lot of the Saints in the Catholic Church taught. They taught detachment from the world and posessions, despising the honor and glory of the world which is vanity, and simplicity of life, and focusing on and loving the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the true source of happiness our hearts long for. I will keep you in my prayers 👏
Dated an avoidant attachment, and after I got over having emotional reactions about the pull push behavior, I began to grow so much in areas that I didn't even know I needed to grow in. Most people wind up hating an avoidant, but I become so in control of my emotions regardless of bae. I was already pretty secure this made me a secure as Fort Knox. Other people truly are an accessory and should be treated as such. Yes you have that favorite piece of jewelry but you don't need to wear it all day everyday.
Ohhh interesting. Im dating an avoidant woman and I'm noticing im pushing myself on many area of my life also. Could elaborate in which parts you grew?
I started playing the guitar, starting making economic investigations, will probably start working some hours as an uber while i study, among other things
I’m going through the same thing. Realized I was in love with a girl I’ve been friends with for five years and am almost positive she feels the same, but since she’s disorganized/avoidant, she slammed the door shut in my face but essentially has kept it open a smidge and sends me stuff that really seems to reveal how she actually feels. It’s driving me insane but the lack of answers and clarity and the feeling of knowing I’m loved for exactly who I really am but seen in a way where my highest good is possible, is pulling me closer to God and is having me act totally different in my daily life. With people, the things I do, etc. I won’t lie though, the uncertainty of whether or not she’s going to tell me how she really feels or whether this is going to end how I want is nauseating and painful when I stop to think about it. I wonder if this is just me deluding myself into thinking her shame and fear will heal or whether this all happening was God working in my life to heal BOTH of us
Thanks for making this video been dealing with a major heartbreak the past few months. Still trying to heal and let the resentment and hatred dissipate into love and compassion for my former lover. I realize alot of the time as you're saying we tend to idealize the love we receive from the other not remembering that it's just ourself. ❤
This is the most important video on relationships.. Share it with everyone! P. S. Yesssss I totally get the avoidant part. I now can recognise it in others after a bad experience!
Being single is best time of your life because if it gets better (like you finding that "perfect" partner) that will become your new normal and if it gets worse (like feeling more lonely) it only makes you think better of what you had/have family &friends.
Couldn’t agree with this more. Been building on this philosophy for about 5 years now. Love is a huge illusion that has its benefits biologically but I don’t think it’s real.
Being a Demisexual in this generation is really difficult with hookup culture. I've struggled in the past with loneliness, but i am starting to realise that no one ever actually gives you "love" it's all just within ourselves, it's always there. "Love" is just connection, trust, joy and bonding with someone else instead of yourself. Happy feelings get perceived as love. Thanks for you're videos. Always a good listen! 🌿
Yeah. 'Love' can be better defined as 'compatible pair bonding'. It can be a worthy experience nonetheless. Albert Einstein once wrote something along the lines of "Love brings much pleasure as pining for someone brings much pain".
Unconditional love is probably only given by parents and sometimes not even them. Love is a concept propagated by popular culture, it sets unrealistic expectations, you'll only be disappointed if you made the error of assuming that you loved someone and vice versa.
Oh yeah please let's throw away love because how would a mother ever push out a child without love because who wants a strange foreign substance in their body for 9 months😂 without love of that unknown foreign substance in her uterus Humanity would never exist. Perhaps media version of Love is outdated what you perceive is love probably romance is outdated However the fact that a force that causes you to have patience for another human that causes you to grow because of knowing that human and you choose human Connection in spite of human flaws etcetera actual love not romance not bullshit the world would not function without love. Literally. In this guy is saying love is literally the highest thing in the universe and Eddie is like hey let's just get rid of it😂. Sure go flush out all the love in your life you make a good candidate for it.
True big time! The same thing in the gay scene.. Hot guys, muscular, manly, etc.. only hook up with their mirrors and exact photocopy. All for "thrills and kicks". A real circus! Anything inside is of no interest, period. But when they talk about gay marriage, what's the point I think to myself?? Heteros don't even get married anymore. Anyway, not in Québec, Canada, though. Overall, I've given up on all illusions and worldly desires, cravings and almost interests. I connect with nature, mayself and the "invisible" dimension. That's where I find my peace of mind and heart. C'est la foutue vie et c'est comme ça. Voilà.
you never know , maybe one day someone cross your path for good , until that day is better to feel happy with your single life and just enjoy it. be grateful for just be alive and enjoying this life single or in couple 👍😊 best regards
@@g.noreau291 thank you very much 💯 the truth is that I like being alone , but I have family ,friends , colleagues , all in couple !! that makes me feel kind of weird , so is not easy to accept even for them ...🤔
@@santi7616 Me too love being alone now. Was not always like that in the past of course. But I'm now like the cat bitten so mayyy times.., threefold shy now.. As for friends, family, not really in my life. They go about their own lives like you say. None really contacts me except for one friend. And also my little sister but she also has her family, work, husband, etc.. and is in over her head with life and I understand that.
@@g.noreau291 that's right , couples with children are very occupied , obviously , they have to work , take care of children , a lot of dedication , so It's normal the contact is less frequent than before .
The shadow thought - this might end in divorce - certainly was on my mind, and others I have asked about their wedding. I don’t think it’s all hormonal nor irrational… Ego attachment. Not sure that’s a balanced view. Logic. Not sure this is a question, is it? I’m not sure everything, every experience…requires healing.
My question is, when are you ‘done’ with self development? Of course yore always growing, but how do you know when you’re ‘ready’? I can see people getting in a permanent cycle of avoiding relationships because they’re only inwardly focussed and trick themselves into not feeling ready
@@Introverted100 he has a better one I was considering putting in there: “If I accept the fact that my relationships are here to make me conscious, instead of happy, then my relationships become a wonderful self mastery tool that keeps realigning me with my higher purpose for living.”
I fuccing hate these explanations that I should not be attached to someone. But I want to be! Because I know and recognize that they are someone I am willing to love while I heal myself in the process. If I have to let go of everyone that I am attracted to, then what the fuckk is the point of even existing. I fuccking hate how we romanticize self-love and healing and non-attachment, but why am I even born to detach? I have loved myself to the point that my love for myself overflows and I am willing to find someone to love and if I have to detach and let go, then kill me now.
@myselfasevan then I'm a certified single person. I guess I really need to come to terms with the fact that romantic love is not in my cards in this life 😑
@@charmedprince Don't have to take his words for fact. He's just another human trying to figure out this life shit. No one has it all figured it out. Do you and move further ahead by learning from your failures.
Call it attachment or fear of being alone...whatever...it only shows that people need someone in their lives. And no...being alone feels like shit. Stop promoting that.
Why would you "hate" quoting the Bible? This. may be an area you need to work on. Not for religion but for wisdom and peace. Has it ever occurred to you how much Jung is just a secular interpretation of the Bible?
So, who hurt you that much.. that now you're so scare of relationships?😂 When that happens you start to hate love and compromise.. so you become a cristal joker 🤡🤡🤡😅
![Twenty One Pilots - The Line (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Audio]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/XCz7WUotXs8/mqdefault.jpg)
This is basically a message to my past self
❤🙏🏾
Mine too.
What is commonly known as 'love' is just an illusion.
As Sócrates said, "Know thyself." I believe it's the secret to everything in one's life.
Thank you for this great video.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I told my dad recently “ I need a woman”, and he said “no you don’t, you need nothing.” Wisest thing my dad ever told me
Your dad was hurt by someone, you wanna follow his footsteps a d reject everyone? Yes, there are shot people in thos world but there are nice too. You can find them only by being open.
@@bogdanafilonich33the other point is desire lacks nothing. If you want it you can have it.
@@whowereweagain if you are a man, be a man. Guys nowadays lack resilience.
Ya.... totally.....you don't need food, water, shelter, clothing, warmth when it's cold, etc.
This is completely true. Speaking as someone with an addictive personality, the excitement and rush of emotions we feel at the start of a new relationship are just our biology at work-that’s not real love; it’s infatuation, like chasing a high. Everything feels fresh and thrilling because of the novelty, and we feel like we’re on cloud nine with this new person. This is what most people chase (my former self included)
Real love, though, is much deeper. It’s about being with someone who sees the best in you, helps you grow, and supports you despite knowing your flaws. Real love involves kindness and sacrifice, similar to how a parent would do anything for their child.
You’re absolutely right about love requiring effort, including the work of understanding and improving yourself. You need to know who you are and develop into someone you’re genuinely proud of, with values that matter to you. Once, someone asked me, “Would you date yourself? If you met someone just like you-flaws and all-would you want a relationship with them?” Because in a real relationship, those issues will definitely come up.
Today, society places so much emphasis on physical attraction that relationships often feel like throwaway things. After my divorce and a series of short term relationships ignoring red flags, I chose to stay single until I felt I had grown enough to offer someone love and support without needing validation. I wanted to reach a place where I could give love because I already valued myself, not because I needed something in return.
You have summed it up very well! All I would add is that many people will stay with someone who is abusive, but still think they are loved. No love ever involves being cruel or spiteful. If that’s happening, get out. End it.
In my own experience falling in love was the way to escape real life, to get certain hormones. It's not about love at all. You use other person like the source for your "happiness", don't really care about him. Inner work, self growth is the best decision
@@Юлия-ш3ю5т well said 👍
I agree with you 100%. It can be easier said than done but once you see how superficial most relationships have become, you definitely know that you don't want something fake like that. You want something real. True connection and love is the highest form of consciousness in the universe.
I appreciate the final message about you are more likely to fall in love when you have a boring life. It is true
Once you can embrace the impermanence of relationships and take them for what they are in the moment, you no longer need them to be happy. The relationship doesn't define you. This allows you to be authentic and just enjoy and appreciate people you are with when you are with them. Mind you, when you are married (as I am) you may decide to maintain a relationship for all its faults and challenges knowing that it will never achieve anything close to some fairytale perfection. Perhaps it brings stability and consistency. (e.g. We wanted children. Children need a mom and dad. We may not "love" each other as we once did, but we can still be happy together without resentment by accepting our relationship for what it is. We are committed to it.)
Love is commitment. Really before one has babies, there should be an understanding that mom and dad will love the children, be committed to the children's development.
@@phillipsmith7759 100%
As someone who has been going through a lot of nonsense in the dating world and with women, this channel brings a lot of clarity and common sense. I’m a devout Catholic, so we differ on a lot, but it’s remarkable how what you’re saying is similar to what a lot of the Saints in the Catholic Church taught. They taught detachment from the world and posessions, despising the honor and glory of the world which is vanity, and simplicity of life, and focusing on and loving the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the true source of happiness our hearts long for. I will keep you in my prayers 👏
Dated an avoidant attachment, and after I got over having emotional reactions about the pull push behavior, I began to grow so much in areas that I didn't even know I needed to grow in. Most people wind up hating an avoidant, but I become so in control of my emotions regardless of bae. I was already pretty secure this made me a secure as Fort Knox. Other people truly are an accessory and should be treated as such. Yes you have that favorite piece of jewelry but you don't need to wear it all day everyday.
Ohhh interesting. Im dating an avoidant woman and I'm noticing im pushing myself on many area of my life also.
Could elaborate in which parts you grew?
I started playing the guitar, starting making economic investigations, will probably start working some hours as an uber while i study, among other things
I’m going through the same thing. Realized I was in love with a girl I’ve been friends with for five years and am almost positive she feels the same, but since she’s disorganized/avoidant, she slammed the door shut in my face but essentially has kept it open a smidge and sends me stuff that really seems to reveal how she actually feels. It’s driving me insane but the lack of answers and clarity and the feeling of knowing I’m loved for exactly who I really am but seen in a way where my highest good is possible, is pulling me closer to God and is having me act totally different in my daily life. With people, the things I do, etc. I won’t lie though, the uncertainty of whether or not she’s going to tell me how she really feels or whether this is going to end how I want is nauseating and painful when I stop to think about it. I wonder if this is just me deluding myself into thinking her shame and fear will heal or whether this all happening was God working in my life to heal BOTH of us
Love is sold on TV and social media 24/7.
This is training material. Should be taught somewhere along our life.
So weird, I was thinking about just this last night... And now you explain what I was wondering... Great timing, great video... Thanks Evan..... ❤
Dude! This is a good video, well done and thank you 👍🏻
Thanks for making this video been dealing with a major heartbreak the past few months. Still trying to heal and let the resentment and hatred dissipate into love and compassion for my former lover. I realize alot of the time as you're saying we tend to idealize the love we receive from the other not remembering that it's just ourself. ❤
Hey man! Congrats on 15k followers! Absolutely awesome work my man
Paul 🇬🇧
@@TheDreamfinder99 thanks mate 🙏 🇬🇧
Again. I just explained this to a friend of mine, i think that too, i sayd a number, like 90 percent is just attachmend and fear off loss. I thank u:)
@@Sargecon1 exactly my friend
This is the most important video on relationships.. Share it with everyone!
P. S. Yesssss I totally get the avoidant part. I now can recognise it in others after a bad experience!
Being single is best time of your life because if it gets better (like you finding that "perfect" partner) that will become your new normal and if it gets worse (like feeling more lonely) it only makes you think better of what you had/have family &friends.
Couldn’t agree with this more. Been building on this philosophy for about 5 years now. Love is a huge illusion that has its benefits biologically but I don’t think it’s real.
You helped me discover insights within me.
Thank you
Wooo go Evan kool, 100% resonate with this 🎉😊
I think your hitting the nail on the head largely
Excellent video bro.
Great video and provide great teaching skills and education resources too 😊
Being a Demisexual in this generation is really difficult with hookup culture. I've struggled in the past with loneliness, but i am starting to realise that no one ever actually gives you "love" it's all just within ourselves, it's always there. "Love" is just connection, trust, joy and bonding with someone else instead of yourself. Happy feelings get perceived as love. Thanks for you're videos. Always a good listen! 🌿
shut your mouth you foolsexual
i am mentally unstable from my past. but she stayed cause thats love.❤ took me me.i when i lost everything in the past. ❤
perfect timing
Yeah. 'Love' can be better defined as 'compatible pair bonding'. It can be a worthy experience nonetheless. Albert Einstein once wrote something along the lines of "Love brings much pleasure as pining for someone brings much pain".
Like the new haircut Even!!!
Unconditional love is probably only given by parents and sometimes not even them. Love is a concept propagated by popular culture, it sets unrealistic expectations, you'll only be disappointed if you made the error of assuming that you loved someone and vice versa.
Love is an outdated idea
Oh yeah please let's throw away love because how would a mother ever push out a child without love because who wants a strange foreign substance in their body for 9 months😂 without love of that unknown foreign substance in her uterus Humanity would never exist. Perhaps media version of Love is outdated what you perceive is love probably romance is outdated However the fact that a force that causes you to have patience for another human that causes you to grow because of knowing that human and you choose human Connection in spite of human flaws etcetera actual love not romance not bullshit the world would not function without love. Literally. In this guy is saying love is literally the highest thing in the universe and Eddie is like hey let's just get rid of it😂. Sure go flush out all the love in your life you make a good candidate for it.
Don’t hate to quote the Bible bro it’s full of wisdom
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33
Relationships has its positives and negatives. However, not all, but most Relationships can be Ego driven
I have no longer illusions. Like your video, the entire love stuff is a deadly illusion.👺
True big time! The same thing in the gay scene.. Hot guys, muscular, manly, etc.. only hook up with their mirrors and exact photocopy. All for "thrills and kicks". A real circus! Anything inside is of no interest, period. But when they talk about gay marriage, what's the point I think to myself?? Heteros don't even get married anymore. Anyway, not in Québec, Canada, though. Overall, I've given up on all illusions and worldly desires, cravings and almost interests. I connect with nature, mayself and the "invisible" dimension. That's where I find my peace of mind and heart. C'est la foutue vie et c'est comme ça. Voilà.
you never know , maybe one day someone cross your path for good , until that day is better to feel happy with your single life and just enjoy it. be grateful for just be alive and enjoying this life single or in couple 👍😊 best regards
@@santi7616 I agree with the second part of your comment.👍Thank you.
@@g.noreau291 thank you very much 💯 the truth is that I like being alone , but I have family ,friends , colleagues , all in couple !! that makes me feel kind of weird , so is not easy to accept even for them ...🤔
@@santi7616 Me too love being alone now. Was not always like that in the past of course. But I'm now like the cat bitten so mayyy times.., threefold shy now.. As for friends, family, not really in my life. They go about their own lives like you say. None really contacts me except for one friend. And also my little sister but she also has her family, work, husband, etc.. and is in over her head with life and I understand that.
@@g.noreau291 that's right , couples with children are very occupied , obviously , they have to work , take care of children , a lot of dedication , so It's normal the contact is less frequent than before .
Your past self must be so proud 🫂
I will try but am in love again
Love is what the universe is made of? Please explain
its hard to put into words, but the book Magnetic Aura from Talesio completely changed my life and it's not new age bs
good video yet again, I would only add for people to read 'Magnetic Aura' from Talesio helped me a tonnn
Love=ego stroke❤
The shadow thought - this might end in divorce - certainly was on my mind, and others I have asked about their wedding.
I don’t think it’s all hormonal nor irrational…
Ego attachment. Not sure that’s a balanced view.
Logic.
Not sure this is a question, is it?
I’m not sure everything, every experience…requires healing.
My question is, when are you ‘done’ with self development? Of course yore always growing, but how do you know when you’re ‘ready’? I can see people getting in a permanent cycle of avoiding relationships because they’re only inwardly focussed and trick themselves into not feeling ready
This isn’t about avoiding relationships, it’s about finding someone who can complement your growth
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I dont know, I think Eckhart may have dropped the ball on that quote. Unless I just dont understand him.
@@Introverted100 he has a better one I was considering putting in there: “If I accept the fact that my relationships are here to make me conscious, instead of happy, then my relationships become a wonderful self mastery tool that keeps realigning me with my higher purpose for living.”
@myselfasevan I can dig that one.
@@myselfasevanthat was mind blowing 😮
@@myselfasevanthis was a good one!
Damn that just makes so much sense 😂@@myselfasevan
I fuccing hate these explanations that I should not be attached to someone. But I want to be! Because I know and recognize that they are someone I am willing to love while I heal myself in the process. If I have to let go of everyone that I am attracted to, then what the fuckk is the point of even existing. I fuccking hate how we romanticize self-love and healing and non-attachment, but why am I even born to detach? I have loved myself to the point that my love for myself overflows and I am willing to find someone to love and if I have to detach and let go, then kill me now.
@@charmedprince it’s about forming a healthy attachment that grows over time, not one from the place of lack
@myselfasevan then I'm a certified single person. I guess I really need to come to terms with the fact that romantic love is not in my cards in this life 😑
@@charmedprince Don't have to take his words for fact. He's just another human trying to figure out this life shit.
No one has it all figured it out. Do you and move further ahead by learning from your failures.
@@Jesamisus i actually just read that this video is a dedication to his previous self, which is yeah
"relationships are not suppose to make you happy" what does it suppose to do then that's weird
He means your happiness has to come from within you.
@@dante6985 how
Endorphins suck
Call it attachment or fear of being alone...whatever...it only shows that people need someone in their lives. And no...being alone feels like shit. Stop promoting that.
Why do you hate quoting the Bible?
Why would you "hate" quoting the Bible? This. may be an area you need to work on. Not for religion but for wisdom and peace.
Has it ever occurred to you how much Jung is just a secular interpretation of the Bible?
@@BatchelderPatrick yes, I was kidding. My relationship to the Bible is a complex one.
i disagree sex first
So, who hurt you that much.. that now you're so scare of relationships?😂 When that happens you start to hate love and compromise.. so you become a cristal joker 🤡🤡🤡😅
your speaking alot of crap evan
*you’re