@@MaleINTP Thankfully your very existence has so much purpose and meaning behind it, and you’re a legendary human being who can do what you set your mind to! :)) have the vibes and use them to achieve your beautiful goals 💕💜💙🧡💖
@@flutenanyidk1806 Hahaha! I am, depending on when you catch me. But that’s usually true. :)) ENFP here. Objective Personality wise, MM Ne/Fi CS/P(B)- or a kind of introverted ENFP, in a sense. What’s your type? 🤩 if you wanna share
INTJ connects intellectually and not emotionally. If you are discussing an interesting topic, I’ll join in without thinking. Then I’ll loose myself talking about all the intricacies of the subject. If you share with me your bad experience, a lot of the time I’ll comfort you because I understand I should. I can see that you are sad. It is what a friend does. These are the reasons to do the comforting. But deep down, it is not easy for me to feel what you feel.
This is the difference between empathy and sympathy. You can understand why people are feeling bad about something (sympathy) but you can't absorb what they're feeling and feel the same (empathy).
I share the same up until the last line. For me, I feel exactly what they're going through which makes me immensely uncomfortable and needing to flee or change topics.
As an INTJ what I do is put myself in their shoes using my Fi and talk about the time I felt the same. If I cannot funnel it through my own experience, I have to imagine what it would feel like. That's how I relate. I just had a moment with an ENTP. He was feeling overwhelmed on a project. I used my Fi to recall when I was also feeling overwhelmed on a project when I was in his position. Then I wrote him a nice email to let him know he's valued. I think this takes practice as young INTJs may not use the Fi function. In my experience 3rd function develops in late 30s to 40s.
@@grazynawolska8160 I think what has helped me as INTJ is my mother being a counselor, who I think is probably INFJ. So I seem to have been able to empathize with others using my Fi as well, by how she talks to me emotionally and I talking to her emotionally. I do find the logic and reasoning come in stronger for me. And I like trying to remember things that can be comment ground but also noting differences. We all feel the same emotions in our lives, just process differently in different circumstances.
Can definitely confirm the child-like wonder in Te users, my dad is an INTJ and I remember he came to my room out of nowhere once to show me a video of pet otters and the way he was fascinated by them was so endearing to me as an Fi dom haha
I still can't believe how much I relate to your videos, just knowing that there are many people that feel and process emotions like I do is so helpful and reassuring.
For me (I’m INTJ, for the record) what bothers me about feelers is not really the feelings themselves, but rather their tendency to arrive at conclusions without fact checking. It’s objectively dangerous.
Nah, see I "am" INFP (in quotes due to extreme doubt) but I can't stand getting things wrong when I make an assertion, and I think that given how much misinformation is spread this can be highly problematic especially in the internet age. Maybe it's me having some level of Fe but I check my tweets that aren't jokes before sending them, just to make sure I'm not wrong, because I don't want to contribute to the problem and certainly don't want to look stupid!
@_lil_lil that's cool but you are an exception to the rule, it's generally believed that feelers make decisions and form conclusions based on feelings in the moment rather than facts and data (the inverse is true for thinker types)
I’m a Ti dom, and I’ve been feeling allot of anger lately, and I realized that anger isn’t coming from any feeling function but instead a very, very frustrated Ti. Like if I have a problem that I can’t solve, or if someone is acting in a way that doesn’t make sense to me, I can get really worked up and upset about it, even irrationally so. I’m trying to manage my Ti but it can’t be tough since I’m not really happy with the way my life is going. Hope this is relevant
I noticed for me i generally intellectualize my feelings or in general not just care about how i feel which isn't a very healthy thing to do and i find that to be the case with most people who have a thinking judging function and usually when under stress those feelings erupt or lash out and cause a lot of damage not to myself but to others around me that's why its very crucial to learn how to develop that inferior feeling function if you truly want to find happiness
True. Also, finding an outlet for negative emotions is invaluable... provided that the outlet is positive like working out or listening to music, and not negative like an addiction.
I'm an INTP and my view on emotions (previously) was that they are irrational and irrelevant to reality. I dealt with them by ignoring them completely. Now, after some self-reflection and thought about emotions, I've realized that we've evolved to have the emotions that we experience. Therefore, they are not irrelevant to reality, but rather a part of reality, unless if the current society replaced the need for a particular emotion, but the fragility of society and its shifting nature destroys reliability and therefore trust within it. Now that I'm left with no replacement for the problems solved by emotion, I view it as valuable. However, my habit of dissociating from myself and being objective is not something that I plan to drop, but I want to learn how to factor my emotions in the equation that is my problem-solving abilities provided that it will add to the solution and not dilute it. Along with this issue, I have problems socially expressing how I feel for fear of hurting someone else's feelings or ruining relationships (thanks inferior Fe). So, instead of unleashing whatever chaotic mess may occur from a flash of anger or a drop of sadness, I freeze my face with harsh coldness and react reasonably and rationally. This isn't really a problem, because I love writing anything from comedy to poetry to short stories, so I explore emotions through those mediums, but I envy people who are confident enough to socially express themselves emotionally. I imagine it's psychologically healthier.
this isn't exclusive to thinking dom because I'm INFP and we don't share emotions in that external way either and we definitely feel a lot. We don't dissociate from the feelings (although we do need time to reflect on it) but it is private, we will look reserved and calm as we feel internally. Your comment is interesting though, to me reads like a robot trying to discover the meaning of emotions.
I'm an INTP too and I similarly used to think emotions only get in the way until I dived deeper and found what I believe to be THE solution. There are two types of information in this world, IS and OUGHT information (or science and value). The first one is information about science and it's laws, but that's not it, it's incomplete. Because, if you had a hypothetical universe with only laws, nothing would ever happen, you need initial conditions to input into the equations to get an output, and the form, structure, arrangement of that output is where value comes from. Think about music, it does nothing, but it can carry a varying amount of emotions depending on the arrangement of the notes. Same goes for art and arrangement of paint, dance and arrangement of movements, a story as an arrangement of words and life in general as an arrangement of actions. On one hand you have mathematics and the sciences to tell you what you could do, on the other humanities which tell you what you should do, engineering uses both. Furthermore, logic can be applied to value. For a start we all share the same emotional landscape, and not just us but animals too. It makes sense since arrangements of particles are universal. You can use different mediums like music, film and story and synchronise them emotionally, or make a complete catastrophe, there are rules to follow. Furthermore, if we didn't share the same emotions Fe would be impossible, we could never laugh at the same jokes either. Also note that epistemologically, emotions come from the same place as empirical evidence, the consciousness. But there are differences in emotional response between individuals, so what gives? Well I actually have an equation for that: emotionalResponse = freeWill + sensoryExperience. We all have desires (a will), like "I want ice cream", then we all have the experience that follows like "I got ice cream :)" or "it's sold out :(". You see? the emotions come as a result of what you want and what actually happens. You project a desirable future in your imagination and it clashes with reality, then there is either satisfaction or disappointment. Anger occurs when you don't accept reality, happiness when something unexpected but desirable happened, sadness unexpected undesirable. There is a reason why people say that your arrangement of clothes tell people who you are, or why you can tell the character of a nation by going to their museums, art galleries and music concerts, and why we ask what music people like and what their hobbies are. Emotions are actually pretty objective and the same every time for a given desire and scenario, it is the desire, the will that is subjective. If two people had the exact same desire and were in the exact same scenario then they would feel the exact same emotions. Call me arrogant but I think this pretty much solves the emotion problem. Regarding evolution I wouldn't say that we evolved consciousness. Biology is like hyper advanced engineering, it can't be thought of as a pure since like physics and chemistry, it cannot be understood without value information, since life didn't have to exist. I would say that consciousness was the driving factor for evolution not the other way round. Brains compute logic, logic is like a function, it cannot give an output without an input. Things like colour and emotions cannot possibly be built by logic alone, so consciousness is either fundamental or you have to assume that atoms can feel... look up the hard problem of consciousness. Also consider that the universe is not deterministic thanks to quantum physics, so there is space for free will to act.
@N Harris I think you're undervaluing emotions way too much, in fact you got it backwards. Emotions don't serve life nor the intellect, life and intellect serve emotions. Emotions are the input, they are the casual power that motivates us to do anything at all, they are one of the most fundamental part of us. Emotions are not chemicals, and neither are colours, you can't reduce consciousness to chemistry and computation. The body and brain are a tool that serve the consciousness, not the other way round.
Another excellent video Lindsey! We INTJ’s have a full range of feeling but do not have an understanding of how to use them with any depth of competence and confidence. Seems best to keep quiet about them most of the time when interacting with others.
I subscribed to your channel a long time ago but this is the first time that I comment something. You described really well how I perceive feelings. I'm brazilian so I have to deal with a very feeling (and extravert) culture. It's hard for me to understand that feelings don't have logic at all and not knowing how to deal with them make me want to just ignore them. Also what you said about "deserving" love or something like that it's real for me. I think that I need to be useful to deserve something and it comes to everything not only feelings. Anyways, what a great video! For me being an INTJ woman living in Brazil it's kinda of an interesting and challenging experience so it's nice to see someone like me out there.
@@purplemind93 I'm not exactly stereotyped because I needed to act more "open" with people because of my culture. Even with I making effort to interact with people still all of my relatives think that I'm too distant and cold lol
Thank you for another wonderful video. As an INTJ, I found it right on target. I often wonder, if INTJs were the majority of the population, could we then classify the extroverts as hedonistic for their socializing and needy for their higher levels of emotional expression. Just so I can be the “normal “ one for a change.
I don’t think anyone needs to be characterized negatively for their needs like that. I don’t understand my introverted husband’s need for alone time, but I can respect it and not label him with something negative. Even though it is occasionally annoying to me. Just like my extroversion is occasionally annoying to him. Doesn’t make either one wrong or negative. Just makes us different. I’m an ENTP and identified with several points in this video for sure. I am more expressive with my surface level emotions. But handle deeper ones in a very similar manner.
@@glueball214 Oh. I got that and wasn’t upset. I didn’t really have feelings about it. I was just pointing out that there’s no need for it on either side. All good.
This video is helpful to me too, because I never understood how thinkers could dismiss emotions and call them irrelevant when feelings are permanently in your life (you ALWAYS feel some emotion, weak or strong, at any time of your life), like, if you claim to make logical decisions then WHY IGNORE THE FACT THAT YOU FEEL THINGS? It's not even logical in the first place 😭 It's weird though, because I don't feel like I lack a logical sense or anything as a "Feeler". It's just that I don't see logic as the go-to solution in my life, logic is helpful and I use it 24/7, I never really ignore it, but I see the importance of feelings in life and I'm confortable with it 🤔
I see emotions as drugs. For example I ask: Does anger make sense right now or I am HIGH on it right now? And I act accordingly. I don't act on it when I I am in the grip of it if it is not useful to me. It's like making important decisions while drunk/high, mostly not a good Idea. But when it is a good idea, feel it away...! I feel it even it is not a good idea, but by acknowledging it and not acting on it, it wears off... Also, many times I grow them like plants 😂. I create the perfect environment to host a certain emotion and then I magically feel it eventually. Your thoughts?? I would ask your feelings 😜 but its a thinking video lol
I realised emotions are a "choice" when the wife of a friend of mine was pissed off because the bus was late on January 1st, and he told her "well you being mad won't make the bus come any faster so you might as well not be mad"
@@sub.sa.3058 I agree with you, I actually don't think getting yourself into situations where the outcome has a high % of going bad for yourself and others is something an intelligent species should be doing, you could go through a mine field and get out alive, but you might aswell just not do it if it's not necessary. I like to think that Feelers use their logic to fulfill and achiev their feelings, while Thinkers usually use their logic despite their feelings, usually. And when we follow our feelings we may sound very weird because we're not used to feeling it. We get good after we mature though, 'cuz feelings and honesty goes a long way together and we learn how to be less blunt (Doesn't mean we like it, we just see the end to the means, less conflict while also problem solving)
The good chemicals: "Ok sure, I'm happy if you're happy. Oh you can't see it? I'm happy for you on the inside. Yes really." The bad chemicals: "Spilling apple sauce on your alarm clock is not that bad. Why are you tearing a hole in the fabric of space-time with salt water from your eyeballs?"
INTJ here. Not deserving feelings and having to justify feelings. Makes so much sense to me. And not understanding why anyone even likes me. I am working on accepting myself and building self confidence that comes from within, not as a response from outside myself. I also like the way you described TE as an innocent sense of wonder...I’m always asking why. Very good discussion points.
Extremely accurate. I always just thought of emotions as "the great unknown" and would work around them and ignore, ignore, ignore. MBTI has given me a working model to finally start putting emotions into my simulations and understanding. It might be a thinking hack, I acknowledge its not as authentic, but it's better than just one big question mark. (it removes the magic of human interaction, infj wife says. What magic?, intp me says back... Who mostly just sees myself and others as either threats or parts of a system.)
Woah woah!!! Wait.... I feel I only deserve love AFTER doing something for someone, I would distrust love from someone without them knowing what I do, or am known for!! This explained it so well, fuck 😱😱😱 Thanks!!
@@diplomat2623 It does make sense if thinkers really go deep into any kind of deep spiritual journey, then we have glimpses... just glimpses that are so fucking hard to hold on to.
Thanks for another great video!!! Funny I started watching these to help better understand my thinking preferences, now I find myself sending them to my friends and family that have said they had a hard time "getting me".
How INTP anxiety looks like in the workplace: I dont speak up, or i dont correct mistakes, i dont prepare others hot to handle failures that i see coming because i afraid to hurt their feelings. It was not always this way, but i need money and i need my job, so i rather STFU and bend my head and do what i'm told to. Society hates logic, they need only emotions and empathy. So i try to be emphatic. It looks like when a 3rd grader reads up loud from the textbook. But hey! I'm trying my best there.
3rd slot Fe here. I GOT YOU. I used to be exactly like you in early-middle, late-elementary school. You have to see what parts of yourself are attractive and believe it. Be confident and don't care. Lie to yourself often, tell yourself that you are amazing no matter what, look in the mirror look at yourself sternly and make up a million bullshit reasons why you're great. At least that's how you deal with the (F) part of Fe. Interpreting people has to deal more with learning and paying attention. If you REALLY want to know how to piece wording together, read a book called, "How to Make Friends and Influence People". Its Fe dom THE BOOK. Of course, its your bottom function so it won't be easy, but good luck. Demon Fe sucks.
"It was not always this way, but i need money and i need my job, so i rather STFU and bend my head and do what i'm told to." - Until it reaches a point when I just stand up and disappear. And people won't even know what why I left. Like a pressure cooker: can bear a lot, but when it's too much, explodes
To be completely honest, until I discovered MBTI I did not even know feelings were real things that people were guided by 😂😂😂 I thought people lacked CONTROL and had the ability to "think" and choose not to 😂😂😂😂 I swear it's the truth. Many relationships have blown up because of this YES THEY HAVE 💯🙌🏾
that one time i thought i have depression because i started...... experiencing... feelings!!!! so, I started looking for a psychiatrist, thinking I might have adhd or bpd lmao. as for my mbti, i have no idea what type i am, it always changes back and forth between entj, intj, istp, esfp, isfp, istj i know, i know weird. but i just really cannot understand myself and no matter how much research i do (to the point where I'm mentally exhausted) the answer doesn't come. I just want to trust my instinct and wait and maybe the answer would know, but. it. never. does. help fellow internet friends help me find my mbti I'm dying from all the thinking gosh. oh and yeah, with feelings, i always try to separate myslef from them cause they cause too much chaos in my mind, but lately I've been speaking up more about them it really help, and that's what I'd recommended for any thinker types i guess, really just talking your mind out even if it doesn't make sense (oh no!! i know, sensless thoughts?! but it seriously helps to say your thoughts outloud) have a good day if you're reading this, you're cool
Your face at the end of the cut scene, I laughed out loud because I know what was going through your mind just then. What made me drop that and what can I do to avoid that unnecessary delay next take....
She's not joking about this . She thought the majority of the flowers I brought home we're given to me and she even told me once, " I thought they were for some old lady" because she truly didn't feel like she deserved any flowers.
3:30 this is why I realized in OPS I’m an Se-Te jumper rather than Se-Fi, as I just don’t do Fi as a default. But WHAT DID I DO to get the compliment or love?
As an INTP I would say what we tend to do is discover some pattern related to an emotion, and then follow it logically, even when it's sometimes false just because we are that bad at understanding emotions. For example, I may like making things so I tell myself that I like creativity, so next time there is an activity I will check it using the true/false logic, is it creative? Sometimes something may be creative and I may not like it, but because I strictly follow the rule I might not even realise it until after like 1000 tries. Basically Ti turns emotions into partially accurate code to follow that is slow to update, attempting to refractor the code every once in a while, kind of like Newton's laws were partially correct and everyone believed them until Einstein showed up.
Interesting! This made me think about the way I do this to a small degree. Only, my "logic" goes something more like: Does this hurt anyone that doesn't want to be hurt? Yes ➡️ I do NOT like it. No ➡️ move to next question. Is this a new thing? Yes ➡️ I love it! No ➡️ move to next question. Is it a thing I can do? Yes ➡️ I love it! No ➡️ move to next question. Is it a thing I can talk about? Yes ➡️ I love it! No ➡️ move to next question. Is this thing an idea I can ponder? Yes ➡️ I love it! No ➡️ move to next question. Is it a thing I can share with other people? Yes ➡️ I love it! No ➡️ move to next question. Does it remind me of another thing I like, even if I don't know why? Yes ➡️ I love it! No ➡️ I'll probably love it anyways. Better try it! 🤷♀️
I can answer that. Feelers find thinkers very blunt. They don't care about feelings as much and care more about facts. Sometimes a thinker can hurt a feeler's feelings in this way which can cause a divide. As an Fe dominant, I can say from my experience (this doesn't apply to everyone) I admire thinkers' intellect. It's very intriguing to me and makes me curious, but I can be kind of intimidated by a thinker because they don't care about emotions as much.
@@flutenanyidk1806 Thanks for sharing! There are times in my life where I’ve had a conversation with a feeler that ended with them in tears. A few of those I still occasionally ponder and can’t figure out what there was to even have any feelings about. It’s not that my intent was to be insensitive, it’s just that I had no feelings about the issue and hadn’t imagined that someone would.
I'm Fi. In my experience, thinkers often "love to argue." I know they don't mean it as an argument, the Ti want to rrreeeaaaalllyyy figure out if my claims are true and legitimate, and Te are more into gathering ideas from others, but they must know that it's applicable and efficient. Since it's so important to them, they often either bombard me with every imaginable (even unrealistic) reason why the whole thing might be wrong, or cling to tiny details that in my opinion are not necessary to think through in advance. Consequently, the feeling they put behind it is intense, because this "argument" matters so much to them, but they aren't that good with controling their emotions, and often don't notice how much they do or don't use them. They're either defensive or stone-cold or arrogant or actually have fun. Feelers, on the other hand, often hate arguing and are insecure about it, so we often feel attacked or humiliated or can get aggressive if we're stressed and annoyed and the thinker considers it a normal, fun conversation. We value the vibe more, and many thinkers tend to dismiss it or toy with it. I also used to be furious at how a thinker can make me look and feel stupid and wrong, and the next day they'd be teaching my ideas and claims to someone else. I only recently started to accept why they needed to fight me so hard in the first place. Feelers often do the same when they "neee to get the feeling right" (theirs or others') so they really bother and push everyone or put themselves and others through stuff they could easily avoid if they "thought." But they "need" to feel it.
@N Harris Me and mine love discussions and debates too, but we're sensitive to the emotional atmosphere, and are often insecure on the T stuff, so we can feel attacked and humiliated. If it's done calmly and respectfully I can debate for hours. As for intellectual property, yes, recently as I started to accept that this is how thinkers work and why, I learnt to be calmer and even joke about it. But for many years I'd feel insulted and get responses like "I never argued" or "Quit whining." It felt like denial and arrogance. It takes a lot of maturity on both sides to handle these episodes. Learning it is totally worth it, though :)
The way I describe my demon Fi is like a tiny flame deep down that I tend to ignore but that subtly affects my decisions. Over time I’ve given it more oxygen and it’s grown in size and therefore has more impact. I’ve developed some clear moral standings using it the help me make decisions. Although, I am still very black and white about those things. Right and wrong have a solid line separating the two. I also need reasons for my feelings. As a kid and teenager when I couldn’t figure out why I was experiencing a particular feeling, especially a negative one, I felt like I was living upside down until it was gone. As an adult I usually can stop and determine the cause as well as a possible solution and/or all of the likely scenarios that will develop if it’s something out of my control (likely the latter) and then can move on from the feeling.
Are you ENTJ? That thing about it being out of your control and you can just move on from the feeling. Have you had to face problems because of this? Or had any regrets with the outcome? Like for instance if you met some Fi Savior people and it felt right to be in their presence but for one big important reason (insert whatever) you couldn't allow yourself to feel too right and so you had to reason yourself out of it.
I can't help but find something adorable with how INTJs handle their feelings, even though other times the ways you guys handle them can be very destructive to relationships. Please get your Fi's in order and learn to process them. There's plenty of mystical wandering ENFP/INFPs who could help you with them if you learn to trust them. We're like magical flying fairies who mastered the use of the chemicals and experiencing all their wonder.
So thinker when you call emotions as chemicals. Becouse emotions are often unlogical, but chemistry based on natural rules. Giving meaning of the meaningless, I think that's what we all thinkers do.
As question marks (Posting before watching) As an ENTP my way into emotions was to analyze people interactions and "seeing" which feeling and actions were correlated so I could do the same, also to manipulate but that's another story right. Also, the struggle of Thinkers seeing their Feeler friends crying over a problem that they caused for themselves because of their own emotions: No lad, you can't do that. About Te doms having a big heart, my boss did said that I'm the gentlest person she has ever met lol little she knows >.>
I think ENTPs are really gentle...eventually lol. When they are younger they kinda deny or ignore Fe.... but overtime it becomes part of their wheelhouse and they can be really sweet. And Lijo said Ti's like you have a big heart (you do) and Te's like INTJs have a child-like expression which we do... once we get comfortable enough to show it 🙃🙂
ENTPs don't get enough credit in the mbti community, imo. They might be a total pain in the ass sometimes, but they're also hilarious and caring and generous. You just have to get close to them before they'll let you see their caring side. My ENTP partner is the most emotionally constipated person I know. It's infuriating sometimes, but also totally adorable when I get to see them put so much effort into doing all the feeling nonsense and handling my emotions with so much care. Even though irrational emotions and self-inflicted emotional pain are big no-nos for everyone else, somehow I'm the exception that gets to be protected and coddled. My ENTP also likes to give life coaching and advice to everyone (people seem to trust an ENTPs judgment almost more than their own) and loves to make a positive impact on people's lives but definitely will never, ever, ever admit that out loud.
@@grazynawolska8160 I have an INTJ female friend of mine and our friendship's great, I matured enough to give people the space they need, as I learned that I need space for myself sometimes, and I feel when I'm overwhelming her with random topics, but both of us love some "kids" stuff like anime and games and we do sound like teenagers when we're talking about stuff that we like, at the same time both are nerds but in their own weird way, she's the responsible one obviously
@@ramontavaresdacruz2256 that's great! As an INTJ I started to work closely with an ENTP and I do enjoy the partnership. I've never dealt much with ENTPs before and kinda thought them immature when young. But this ENTP is older, more sensitive and supportive. We got eachother's backs in front of the boss which is nice and he says talking project issues out with me helps him think (Ne asking Ni). We typically plan and strategies everything before bringing to the group lol.... I think cause we're both NT but it sounds like we're are masterminding a world domination plan haha and yes I am the more responsible one lol 😆
I understand now why I always avoided conflicts, I hate this feeling of being really angry and out of myself. Ex boyfriends : We have to talk Me try to escape the room, and want to go outside. The problem was more they talked, more the time passed, and more my anger grew up, and here came my shadow ENTP « I don’t care of people, I don’t care of the rules » I was feeling able to destroy everything. « I told you I didn’t want to talk » ESFP on Visio : I like your smile ! INTJ : It’s not a smile, you just make me laugh.
I think one of the things that made me question if I'm INFP is it's actually easy for me to conceptualize not having Fi or Fe, in fact, having lowish Fi and moderate Fe seems ideal in terms of individual functionality, it's having low *intuition* I have trouble conceptualizing (I already have terrible Se, just today I hit my head on a metal bar in front of me simply because it wasn't directly in my line of sight, I don't know how I survive this way either but I have!). I know functions tests don't tell the whole story and are largely skewed by one's own perceptions, but adding up feeling, sensing, intuitive and thinking functions, Ne + Ni are always on top and Si + Se are always on the bottom... it makes sense why I always felt like the blunt sarcastic one in INFP groups now, I'm probably a Ne/Ni dom who mistyped because I perceive myself as emotionally volatile and have some level of awareness of social issues.
Question: could the "adult" feeling from your dominant functions have to do with your dominant functions also being your masculine ones? I would not describe either my lead Ne or my Te as "responsible" in the sense of taking care of the household. Responsible for what *they* think of as their jobs, yes, very. But as neither of them think it's their responsibility to keep the house running... screaming demon function children trying to run the show. (And in the case that Fi, somehow, is a dominant, it's very screamy for a dominant function.)
There are times at which I wish the struggles of my INTJ self could be solved via a "two-body solution of seperate sovereigns". I tried setting emotions aside in my early high school years, thinking I could just make my way advancing through the world on Spock-like logic. Then stress and exhaustion from not having enough free time made my Fi feel suffocated to the point that it eventually declared open civil war, which led to a series of truces and flare ups in "the home front of the mind" over the years. Now I've given Fi veto power over most decisions. Any decision with any forseeable reprucussions over several days in length must be delayed at least 24 hours to give Fi time to process. Because any decision that bypasses such "regular order" is liable to paralyze/sabotage associated Te efforts once Fi gets wise to what's going on. As you can imagine, I'm very discerning in pursuing things beyond contained, low-to-zero-cost "exploratory committees". But when I do commit, it tends to manifest in a "shock-and-awe" effort that persists until proper closure is reached or until exhaustion stirs up that home front again. Whelp, at least both sides' M.O. toward self-preservation in all respects mean the "nuclear option" was ruled out a long time ago (you can guess what that means). The findings of that committee were surprisingly non-partisan. 😅 Feelings are annoying, but listening to them is necessary.
How old are you? When did you mature into letting Fi take charge? ANd how does you inferior Se play a part? This soon 30 year old Intj I know is using his Te-Se with me, in that he wants to "see what happens and let life surprise him" because previous relationships of his has been too romanticized and explosive, soon to fade out. He wants to establish a friendship, but to me, an Fi-dom it's unnatural to slow things down even though I also believe more in love lasting when people have been friends for a while first.
@@purplemind93 I'm in my late 20s, and I'd say I formally recognized my Fi's veto power at university after spending much of my high school years in what at times felt like an on-again-off-again Te-Fi civil war over the "soverign" self's Ni capitol amidst an "isolationist" aversion to the Fe-oriented teenage "global" macro-culture of the time and the continuing sense of ever-increasing Se external demands on my time and enerrgy. Fi was at first totally willing to let Te take the Ni reigns in striving for the optimal future at the cost of the present. Eventually, however, anxieties of reality's ever-growing external demands and aversions made me more "isolationist", which gave a boost to Fi, and soon enough Ni-Fi loops made me question the existential point of everything. Follow Ni far enough behind all the layers of reason and meaning, you find that all motive for just about any endevor stems from personal Fi desires and that for the vast majority of people, their Te endeavors ultimately matter little long after their gone. Te realized that it was acting on behalf of Fi this entire time and that it can't act well for too long without the support of Fi. That realization settled in over the years, but if I had to point to a single event as the final straw that lead to formal recognition of Fi's veto power was when during the week before the year's final exams, I had been notified that I was getting some scholarship award for being in the top 3 of my program's class and was to meet the dean for some photo op. I considered it a distraction from precious study time, but obliged out of some curiosity (and because they were giving me a bit of money so it seemed the proper thing to do). During the event, I felt nothing, not even the momentary relief I usually feel at the conclusion of hard-fought endeavors which tend to accompany accomplishments. I felt no pride, just exhaustion from the year so far and from events yet to come, along with the sudden realization that I was shaking the hand of some balding dude whose PhD and life of accolades neither made him more memorable than anyone else nor tangibly "better" (whatever that meant) in any significant sense. Anyway, the internal peace agreement has solidified into the following terms: Te decides how to tackle endeavors and does so, but Fi must first carefully decide whether to pursue each endeavor in light of all foreseeable outcomes and factors involved (unless a quick decision is absolutely required). Fi can also revoke such authorization at any time but must first go through the process of mulling it over long and hard before doing so. Peace in our time.
@@migsmethinks5801 Maybe it's not appropriate to say so but I enjoyed reading your detailed story with the shaking of the hands with some "balding dude who wasn't more memorable than anybody else". Thank you for sharing. What you're saying adds up with how I perceive your functions and how they collaborate. I feel like INTJs strive for peace of mind just as much as development the older they get? Or is that perhaps individual? Do you know your enneagram type as well? Can I also ask you what culture you were born into? It's not easy developing your tertiary function. But you care about it so much more than your auxiliary I find that you are drawn to emphasize it as much as you can. Sometimes though, because it's underdeveloped the results are juvenile^^ Since my tertiary function is Ni, do you have any tips for how I can develop it carefully without falling into the loop?
@@purplemind93 5w4. Born in SE Asia of SE Asian heritage but was raised in and consider myself American first. As for developing tert, I'm not sure. My Fi shows heavily here since the thread and talking about one's own psychology seems a very Fi thing. The tertiary function is often known as the "eternal child", and, to me, Fi just seems like the most child-like of the functions. Not sure what tert Ni would be like though. But if it's anything like a child version of yourself, then it's both pretty damn important and a pain to communicate with - somewhat like a kid who was the only witness at a crime scene. If that's the case, I'm guessing your Ni feels like it's following you about, tugging on your jacket, trying to tell you all the things it's figured out but doing it in a sort of semi-intelligible childspeak. Just try to stop and listen to it, I suppose, and piece together what it's trying to say. If your tert Ni tells you about some pattern, then it's worth following it up and investigating to look for more evidence. But don't let that be the end-all and be-all in your decisions, just as you wouldn't prosecute a case purely on the testimony of a kid.
EXACTLY!!!!!!! PRECISELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for us INTJs there IS NO FEELING UNLESS IT CAN BE RATIONALIZED as to WHY. regardless, we GREATLY APPRECIATE the POSITIVES if and when they are rightfully attained.
The fear of the emotion is real!!! I think the other thing is as a dominant thinker, there has to be validity or a logical reason behind the chemicals. Otherwise they're classified as irrelevant and then we get annoyed when they persist. (Unfortunately, in my experience this annoyance has been felt with my emotions and when observing others' emotions😬)
I've just recently wondering especially after watching Queen's Gambit; as Beth, the main character being INTJ. Do you think that INTJ is born or shaped through a very hard life process? I'd love to know how you think about this
Any advice to a Fi dom on how not to sacrifice myself to a Fi tertiary who reasoned his way out of feeling stuff for me for one important reason (don't really want to say what), yet wants to remain friends because we've talked about how much better it is to experience love when there is an unrushed solid friendship at the bottom. The problem is though that we are not "Monica and Chandler", the attraction didn't grow naturally out of friendship. Instead there is something very unnatural about pushing aside attraction and seeking friendship even though the idea appeals to me. I also feel like I'm throwing myself under the bus, because I will most likely not NOT grow more romantic feelings if we become closer friends and the situation is morally strange for me but apparently not for him. I have a speech ready for the next time we meet, to tell him I can't do it after all. And at the same time I'm thinking to myself... Hang on, maybe I'm just idealizing him again, perhaps it will turn out that we are not romantically compatible as we hang out more anyway. Perhaps we will discover that there is too big a cultural difference. Is this my weak Te trying to help me out? I shouldn't listen to it should I? Because of the sacrifice I will need to do. Jane Eyre, who is my hero, kept her integrity, her brave heart and her ideals of equality when she left mr Rochester. I want to do the same.
Interesting predicament! I do agree that a solid friendship is a good foundation for any relationship. Mostly because there may be times in life where you are less attracted to each other (or simply less attractive) and that's ok when the foundation is rooted in something much deeper. Just my two cents :)
@@InternetLiJo yes for sure and you aren’t deceived by the moment but instead know each other so we’ll and STILL like to be around each other haha. But ofc couples who fall in love fast might also make things work like that, perhaps more so if they are secure people from the start.
Hey, LiJo, I've been meaning to ask this for a while but are you able to simply fall asleep? No matter how tired I become, I won't fall sleep while doing something like being on my phone. I'd have to put everything away and try to sleep and for as long as I can remember I've never been carried to bed because I fell asleep watching TV or anything like that when I was younger.
I do. But it’s because I fully expend my energy mentally or physically throughout the day. At the end of the day it’s lights out; and I love it. I also work out 5 days a week and I think that helps
But would they really? Or is it just that we unintentionally come across as stern or super-serious? Especially if you appeal to their existing knowledge, and maybe even offer to expand it, I'll bet they'd enjoy talking with you. Like LiJo said in another video, if we were candy, we INTJs would be like those chocolates with the hard dark chocolate outer shell, and a gooey sweet heart in the middle. ;)
@@dayoffnow my problem with INTJs is that they rely on official sources too much. As I see my brother need permission of something to tell anything. I assume INTJs were thriving in medieval times as methaphysicist and teologists. But my brother is my best INTJ experience. In contrast, my co-worker treated me like an Inquisition practitioner. She's too rigid and too harsh. That's too much. I haven't saw her other side in 2 years.
Maybe you're confusing INTJs with ISTJs. INTJs are less likely to rely on "official sources" because that is referring to a sensory standard and sensory is our last function. We are most likely to trust ourselves based on our own intuition.
As an ENFP who knows a pretty and smart INTJ girl rn who I think is into me but just makes literally no sense in her style of communication to me, this makes sense. -Thx lmao
I'm trying so freaking hard to type my boyfriend. I suspect he is an INTJ (BPCS) but he took the test once and got ENFJ, so my brain is just AGH. Anyways, these videos help a lot. (Coming from an ENFP) For now he will be an Enigma.
I'm an ENFJ but my writing sounds like an INTJ because I use so much Ni in it. I'm pretty sure it's my Se that gives it that Te vibe. Long story short, my writing probably has a lot of Fe in it but that's the funtion that I use the least in something I want to sound good. If I really work hard on a piece, you'll see a trace amount of Fe but you'll mostly see the other three. Edit: I hope this helps. I don't know if it does.
Yes, they feel undeserving. My INTP son is exactly like that. Enneagram 5 9 4. I love to make him laugh though. I give him so many compliments, but he still doesn't think he deserves them.
I tend to ignore how I'm feeling, but sometimes I wish I could connect with those around me. I know that most analyst types aren't given the same support that other types are, and it can make you feel really lonely and/withdrawn 😔
Thanks for the advice. I'll try to connect more based on ideas. Ik I've met a bunch of ENFPs, ENFJs, and an ENTP who I can talk with about intellectual stuff, so I'm not completely alone
I suspect many Thinkers look down on Feelers as soft and even a bit stupid. Logic is usually ascribed to objectivity and intelligence. But being human is largely about having feelings. It is ultimately both of course. Too much of either creates imbalance.
I think my way to what I "feel" but I don't think that's what feelings really are. Or maybe they are. I have no idea. I'd rather just skip the whole feeling thing. Too subject. Not always rational. Just too messy.
I’m an infj. I feel like I have a foot in both worlds. I understand everyone else’s perspective and feelings but rarely feel any first hand emotion of my own but know how I should feel about the situation which I have often predicted and mentally rehearsed 🤷🏻♀️
Infj here too 👋 I find it weird sometimes how when I'm alone I rarely focus on how I feel or feelings overall (happily analyse stuff in my head) but as soon as another person's there it's suddenly all about feelings? Like I'm flooded 🤷🏼♀️ Do you do that too?
@@JellyIsland yes I’m kind of a floating head not attached to the real world. People are a catalyst I suppose... like the moon it has no light of its own it’s a reflection 🤷🏻♀️
I legitimately don't find feelings worth my time to understand. I would much rather push them out of my mind and stay active to keep it from becoming a thing.
They are a part of you. If you push them away, one day they'll stay away, even if you want/ need them in a certain situation. We are humans, so feelings exist to evaluate a rational statement. They should not control us, they are widening you rational decision! Like advisers what you as human like/want/need. Keep on grinding, God bless
I understand the temptation, but trust me on this one, those suppressed feelings WILL come back to bite you in the behind. (Often in the form of physical illness.) Far better (in the long run) to begin acknowledging and processing your feelings right up front. No matter how awkward or silly it seems. :)
I actually find that addressing feelings helps them pass more quickly. Usually I’ll try to step back and assess if the feeling is valid, or an overreaction due to other factors. Often just that step helps. When I can recognize that what I’m feeling is influenced by stress or hormones I can let it go more easily. When the feelings are valid they are often handled just by acknowledging them. When there is action to take it’s easier to take knowing what I feel and why.
I agree. Often times it would be better to not feel anything. Wait a minute... better? What's better based off of? The subjective idea on what's good and bad is based on... Feelings? If you had no ability to feel, you would be unable to make decisions, because when you cut far enough, everything, any logical point, is based on feelings. Is murder bad? Why? Because it harms society? So? If society falls everybody will be dead and humans will cease to exist. What's wrong with that? Try to answer logically and you'll find that there's nothing logically wrong with that. The truth of the matter is, you experience emotions. They vary in intensity, and perhaps you want the ability to feel enough to be able to make decisions, but not so much that they drown your day with depression or cause an angry outburst to a family member. If you want to control the intensity of feelings, you need to acknowledge their existence and deal with them in one way or another, or they will erupt and control you. And that's not good.
@@SewaNudeln I would love for us to all be microchipped and said chips had the ability to alter emotional states to always make room for pragmatic problem solving.
Fascinating stuff! Loved the poker face in the bloopers! That made me think about my thinker friends, none of them cuss or swear even when to a potty mouth feeler like myself they have had good reason. I guess they dont feel any benefit so why bother, but that's just a guess. 🙂
I’m a thinker with a potty mouth. I know feelers that never cuss. I actually wonder if it’s the more introverted thinker types that don’t much?? They seem more controlled most of the time. 🤷🏻♀️
@@jamiehenderson6387 That would make sense! I'm INFP and my thinking buddies are ISTJs and one is an INTJ, and I think you could describe all of them as controlled. 🙂 Do you know your type?
@@edwright4892 Yup. I’m ENTP. My husband is INTJ. Son is ISTJ . So I have those around too and they are for sure controlled. Ha. My daughters are ENFJ ENFP and ENTJ. With them being kids it’s hard to know if my theory holds though. 😊
@@jamiehenderson6387 4 kids? That excuses any amount of potty mouth! 🙂 My wife is ESFJ and our boys are ENFJ and INFP so our house is feeling central! Isn't it interesting how kids most often unherit a blend of their parents cognitive functions. On the subject of swearing does it give you an emotional release? I measure mine in the moment to suit the incident severity and do feel it allows me to signal things I would normally internalise. In the UK we have a lot of creative cussing choices and there has definately been some swearing "inflation" in recent years with only 1 word really left that's generally deemed "low". No need to reply btw you must be run off your feet! 🏃♀️
@@edwright4892 Haha! Thanks. The UK has some of the best swearing! US swearing is so boring in comparison. 😂 I do love the interesting mix in my kiddos! The girls are all ENxx like me. I find that interesting. Your house is feeling central! Ha. Swearing is cathartic for sure. A way to express and release the feelings. I had a minute to answer while we eat lunch lol. Back to the fun after that. 😂
"You are right. But you hurt my feelings." "Honesty is not a virtue." "You are not honest just mean by telling the truth." "I don't like you. The problem with you is how you phrase it, not what you are saying."
Y'all don't care about my feelings man! Frank James makes a video talking about his least favorite things about each type. He describes it well. My biggest beefs with thinkers are two things. They don't trust me or are skeptical when I'm trying to be nice and show appreciation. They don't think about the impact their words can have on the emotional states of others. They just come out with the facts and don't care if it hurts. As an Fe dominant, I just naturally dislike that idea. I recognize that it's important to be like that sometimes but I just don't like it.
"Why do you argue and make me feel stupid and wrong if the next day you wisely share my arguments with someone else???" "You're emotional. No, really, shut up and look at yourself, you're emotional. Deny it from here to Mars, but you're emotional."
I have come to the conclusion that I’m an INTJ/P. It really just depends on my mood and maybe what I ate for breakfast (who fucking knows lmao). INTJ: Because I’m depressed about a single future scenario that hasn’t happened yet but seems inevitable, I plan ahead, I get annoyed with trivial meaningless shit, I dislike being around people, I am more likely to assume I’m right and they are wrong, I’m thing rather than people oriented, I’m determined to break up and complete what I set my mind to with mini-deadlines along the way, and I hate how INTP’s waste time trying to solve stupid meaningless shit. INTP: Because I’m lazy af, I think of possibilities but never follow though unless I have to, I’m nihilistic, I wait until the last minute to do something, I waste time watching RUclips or gaming all day, I wish I could connect with people and have friends/relationship, I try to guide people into seeing that they are wrong rather than telling them flat out so I don’t risk embarrassing them or myself, I waste time trying to solve stupid meaningless shit, and I hate how INTJ’s seem to think that they are always right.
I think the 8'th function is our Demon function and our 4'th function is our inferior function filled with insecurities, worst fears etc. Just like your 7'th function is Fe trickster (blindspot) and so on.
What you’re talking about is the John Beebe model of cognitive functions. The system LiJo is talking about here is objective personality where the dominant and auxiliary functions are called “saviors” and the tertiary and inferior are called “demons”. The terminology overlaps so it’s confusing.
to all the thinkers: you deserves these vibess
Being rewarded without meaning behind it is like receiving a participation medal, it has no value to us.
@@MaleINTP Thankfully your very existence has so much purpose and meaning behind it, and you’re a legendary human being who can do what you set your mind to! :)) have the vibes and use them to achieve your beautiful goals 💕💜💙🧡💖
@@sophiaredwood5825 Extrovert detected. I'm assuming for your sake that you're like me and you're super bubbly.
@@flutenanyidk1806 Hahaha! I am, depending on when you catch me. But that’s usually true. :)) ENFP here. Objective Personality wise, MM Ne/Fi CS/P(B)- or a kind of introverted ENFP, in a sense.
What’s your type? 🤩 if you wanna share
@@sophiaredwood5825 thanks ahah. I don't know about meaning and purpose though but thanks anyways.
INTJ connects intellectually and not emotionally. If you are discussing an interesting topic, I’ll join in without thinking. Then I’ll loose myself talking about all the intricacies of the subject. If you share with me your bad experience, a lot of the time I’ll comfort you because I understand I should. I can see that you are sad. It is what a friend does. These are the reasons to do the comforting. But deep down, it is not easy for me to feel what you feel.
This is the difference between empathy and sympathy. You can understand why people are feeling bad about something (sympathy) but you can't absorb what they're feeling and feel the same (empathy).
I share the same up until the last line. For me, I feel exactly what they're going through which makes me immensely uncomfortable and needing to flee or change topics.
As an INTJ what I do is put myself in their shoes using my Fi and talk about the time I felt the same. If I cannot funnel it through my own experience, I have to imagine what it would feel like. That's how I relate. I just had a moment with an ENTP. He was feeling overwhelmed on a project. I used my Fi to recall when I was also feeling overwhelmed on a project when I was in his position. Then I wrote him a nice email to let him know he's valued. I think this takes practice as young INTJs may not use the Fi function. In my experience 3rd function develops in late 30s to 40s.
@@Isthatjaleesa YES! I've had a lot of people say that I don't seem to care, but I feel their same stripes, literally the same emotions
@@grazynawolska8160 I think what has helped me as INTJ is my mother being a counselor, who I think is probably INFJ. So I seem to have been able to empathize with others using my Fi as well, by how she talks to me emotionally and I talking to her emotionally. I do find the logic and reasoning come in stronger for me. And I like trying to remember things that can be comment ground but also noting differences. We all feel the same emotions in our lives, just process differently in different circumstances.
Can definitely confirm the child-like wonder in Te users, my dad is an INTJ and I remember he came to my room out of nowhere once to show me a video of pet otters and the way he was fascinated by them was so endearing to me as an Fi dom haha
💓
Are you an ISFP or an INFP? My guess is ISFP
@@t-man5196 INFP actually!
I still can't believe how much I relate to your videos, just knowing that there are many people that feel and process emotions like I do is so helpful and reassuring.
Fe: How do Te experience feelings.
Te: They're chemicals.
Fe would ask about the Fi in this case
They're *inconvenient* chemicals at that.
Thank you Lijo. The intj face at the end is priceless....
For me (I’m INTJ, for the record) what bothers me about feelers is not really the feelings themselves, but rather their tendency to arrive at conclusions without fact checking. It’s objectively dangerous.
Nah, see I "am" INFP (in quotes due to extreme doubt) but I can't stand getting things wrong when I make an assertion, and I think that given how much misinformation is spread this can be highly problematic especially in the internet age. Maybe it's me having some level of Fe but I check my tweets that aren't jokes before sending them, just to make sure I'm not wrong, because I don't want to contribute to the problem and certainly don't want to look stupid!
@_lil_lil that's cool but you are an exception to the rule, it's generally believed that feelers make decisions and form conclusions based on feelings in the moment rather than facts and data (the inverse is true for thinker types)
I’m a Ti dom, and I’ve been feeling allot of anger lately, and I realized that anger isn’t coming from any feeling function but instead a very, very frustrated Ti. Like if I have a problem that I can’t solve, or if someone is acting in a way that doesn’t make sense to me, I can get really worked up and upset about it, even irrationally so. I’m trying to manage my Ti but it can’t be tough since I’m not really happy with the way my life is going. Hope this is relevant
I noticed for me i generally intellectualize my feelings or in general not just care about how i feel which isn't a very healthy thing to do and i find that to be the case with most people who have a thinking judging function and usually when under stress those feelings erupt or lash out and cause a lot of damage not to myself but to others around me that's why its very crucial to learn how to develop that inferior feeling function if you truly want to find happiness
True. Also, finding an outlet for negative emotions is invaluable... provided that the outlet is positive like working out or listening to music, and not negative like an addiction.
I'm an INTP and my view on emotions (previously) was that they are irrational and irrelevant to reality. I dealt with them by ignoring them completely. Now, after some self-reflection and thought about emotions, I've realized that we've evolved to have the emotions that we experience. Therefore, they are not irrelevant to reality, but rather a part of reality, unless if the current society replaced the need for a particular emotion, but the fragility of society and its shifting nature destroys reliability and therefore trust within it. Now that I'm left with no replacement for the problems solved by emotion, I view it as valuable. However, my habit of dissociating from myself and being objective is not something that I plan to drop, but I want to learn how to factor my emotions in the equation that is my problem-solving abilities provided that it will add to the solution and not dilute it. Along with this issue, I have problems socially expressing how I feel for fear of hurting someone else's feelings or ruining relationships (thanks inferior Fe). So, instead of unleashing whatever chaotic mess may occur from a flash of anger or a drop of sadness, I freeze my face with harsh coldness and react reasonably and rationally. This isn't really a problem, because I love writing anything from comedy to poetry to short stories, so I explore emotions through those mediums, but I envy people who are confident enough to socially express themselves emotionally. I imagine it's psychologically healthier.
this isn't exclusive to thinking dom because I'm INFP and we don't share emotions in that external way either and we definitely feel a lot. We don't dissociate from the feelings (although we do need time to reflect on it) but it is private, we will look reserved and calm as we feel internally. Your comment is interesting though, to me reads like a robot trying to discover the meaning of emotions.
I'm an INTP too and I similarly used to think emotions only get in the way until I dived deeper and found what I believe to be THE solution.
There are two types of information in this world, IS and OUGHT information (or science and value). The first one is information about science and it's laws, but that's not it, it's incomplete. Because, if you had a hypothetical universe with only laws, nothing would ever happen, you need initial conditions to input into the equations to get an output, and the form, structure, arrangement of that output is where value comes from. Think about music, it does nothing, but it can carry a varying amount of emotions depending on the arrangement of the notes. Same goes for art and arrangement of paint, dance and arrangement of movements, a story as an arrangement of words and life in general as an arrangement of actions. On one hand you have mathematics and the sciences to tell you what you could do, on the other humanities which tell you what you should do, engineering uses both.
Furthermore, logic can be applied to value. For a start we all share the same emotional landscape, and not just us but animals too. It makes sense since arrangements of particles are universal. You can use different mediums like music, film and story and synchronise them emotionally, or make a complete catastrophe, there are rules to follow. Furthermore, if we didn't share the same emotions Fe would be impossible, we could never laugh at the same jokes either. Also note that epistemologically, emotions come from the same place as empirical evidence, the consciousness.
But there are differences in emotional response between individuals, so what gives? Well I actually have an equation for that: emotionalResponse = freeWill + sensoryExperience. We all have desires (a will), like "I want ice cream", then we all have the experience that follows like "I got ice cream :)" or "it's sold out :(". You see? the emotions come as a result of what you want and what actually happens. You project a desirable future in your imagination and it clashes with reality, then there is either satisfaction or disappointment. Anger occurs when you don't accept reality, happiness when something unexpected but desirable happened, sadness unexpected undesirable. There is a reason why people say that your arrangement of clothes tell people who you are, or why you can tell the character of a nation by going to their museums, art galleries and music concerts, and why we ask what music people like and what their hobbies are. Emotions are actually pretty objective and the same every time for a given desire and scenario, it is the desire, the will that is subjective. If two people had the exact same desire and were in the exact same scenario then they would feel the exact same emotions. Call me arrogant but I think this pretty much solves the emotion problem.
Regarding evolution I wouldn't say that we evolved consciousness. Biology is like hyper advanced engineering, it can't be thought of as a pure since like physics and chemistry, it cannot be understood without value information, since life didn't have to exist. I would say that consciousness was the driving factor for evolution not the other way round. Brains compute logic, logic is like a function, it cannot give an output without an input. Things like colour and emotions cannot possibly be built by logic alone, so consciousness is either fundamental or you have to assume that atoms can feel... look up the hard problem of consciousness. Also consider that the universe is not deterministic thanks to quantum physics, so there is space for free will to act.
@N Harris I think you're undervaluing emotions way too much, in fact you got it backwards. Emotions don't serve life nor the intellect, life and intellect serve emotions. Emotions are the input, they are the casual power that motivates us to do anything at all, they are one of the most fundamental part of us. Emotions are not chemicals, and neither are colours, you can't reduce consciousness to chemistry and computation. The body and brain are a tool that serve the consciousness, not the other way round.
Another excellent video Lindsey! We INTJ’s have a full range of feeling but do not have an understanding of how to use them with any depth of competence and confidence. Seems best to keep quiet about them most of the time when interacting with others.
Thank you Frank!
I subscribed to your channel a long time ago but this is the first time that I comment something. You described really well how I perceive feelings. I'm brazilian so I have to deal with a very feeling (and extravert) culture. It's hard for me to understand that feelings don't have logic at all and not knowing how to deal with them make me want to just ignore them. Also what you said about "deserving" love or something like that it's real for me. I think that I need to be useful to deserve something and it comes to everything not only feelings. Anyways, what a great video! For me being an INTJ woman living in Brazil it's kinda of an interesting and challenging experience so it's nice to see someone like me out there.
I can imagine that you are far away from the stereotype seen and described online? Well I mean I have only one source but still.
@@purplemind93 I'm not exactly stereotyped because I needed to act more "open" with people because of my culture. Even with I making effort to interact with people still all of my relatives think that I'm too distant and cold lol
Thank you for another wonderful video. As an INTJ, I found it right on target. I often wonder, if INTJs were the majority of the population, could we then classify the extroverts as hedonistic for their socializing and needy for their higher levels of emotional expression. Just so I can be the “normal “ one for a change.
I don’t think anyone needs to be characterized negatively for their needs like that. I don’t understand my introverted husband’s need for alone time, but I can respect it and not label him with something negative. Even though it is occasionally annoying to me. Just like my extroversion is occasionally annoying to him. Doesn’t make either one wrong or negative. Just makes us different.
I’m an ENTP and identified with several points in this video for sure. I am more expressive with my surface level emotions. But handle deeper ones in a very similar manner.
@@jamiehenderson6387 I was trying to be funny, playing off how being in the minority, the INTJs are called robots, and worse. Sorry if it upset you.
@@glueball214 Oh. I got that and wasn’t upset. I didn’t really have feelings about it. I was just pointing out that there’s no need for it on either side. All good.
This video is helpful to me too, because I never understood how thinkers could dismiss emotions and call them irrelevant when feelings are permanently in your life (you ALWAYS feel some emotion, weak or strong, at any time of your life), like, if you claim to make logical decisions then WHY IGNORE THE FACT THAT YOU FEEL THINGS? It's not even logical in the first place 😭
It's weird though, because I don't feel like I lack a logical sense or anything as a "Feeler". It's just that I don't see logic as the go-to solution in my life, logic is helpful and I use it 24/7, I never really ignore it, but I see the importance of feelings in life and I'm confortable with it 🤔
I see emotions as drugs. For example I ask: Does anger make sense right now or I am HIGH on it right now? And I act accordingly.
I don't act on it when I I am in the grip of it if it is not useful to me. It's like making important decisions while drunk/high, mostly not a good Idea. But when it is a good idea, feel it away...! I feel it even it is not a good idea, but by acknowledging it and not acting on it, it wears off...
Also, many times I grow them like plants 😂. I create the perfect environment to host a certain emotion and then I magically feel it eventually.
Your thoughts?? I would ask your feelings 😜 but its a thinking video lol
Great analogy for the paradigm!
@@InternetLiJo thank you very much Lindsey I appreciate it
I realised emotions are a "choice" when the wife of a friend of mine was pissed off because the bus was late on January 1st, and he told her "well you being mad won't make the bus come any faster so you might as well not be mad"
Hahahaha
@@sub.sa.3058 I agree with you, I actually don't think getting yourself into situations where the outcome has a high % of going bad for yourself and others is something an intelligent species should be doing, you could go through a mine field and get out alive, but you might aswell just not do it if it's not necessary. I like to think that Feelers use their logic to fulfill and achiev their feelings, while Thinkers usually use their logic despite their feelings, usually. And when we follow our feelings we may sound very weird because we're not used to feeling it. We get good after we mature though, 'cuz feelings and honesty goes a long way together and we learn how to be less blunt (Doesn't mean we like it, we just see the end to the means, less conflict while also problem solving)
Opening music is perfect. Like a corporate meditation seminar. Totally how this Ti-Se sees Feeling. 😜
The good chemicals: "Ok sure, I'm happy if you're happy. Oh you can't see it? I'm happy for you on the inside. Yes really."
The bad chemicals: "Spilling apple sauce on your alarm clock is not that bad. Why are you tearing a hole in the fabric of space-time with salt water from your eyeballs?"
INTJ here. Not deserving feelings and having to justify feelings. Makes so much sense to me. And not understanding why anyone even likes me. I am working on accepting myself and building self confidence that comes from within, not as a response from outside myself. I also like the way you described TE as an innocent sense of wonder...I’m always asking why. Very good discussion points.
Extremely accurate. I always just thought of emotions as "the great unknown" and would work around them and ignore, ignore, ignore. MBTI has given me a working model to finally start putting emotions into my simulations and understanding. It might be a thinking hack, I acknowledge its not as authentic, but it's better than just one big question mark. (it removes the magic of human interaction, infj wife says. What magic?, intp me says back... Who mostly just sees myself and others as either threats or parts of a system.)
Well said, ENTJ. Ugh feelings ick and also, I’m crying all over the place make it stop 😜.
As a INTJ this rings so true to me! I relate with this on a deep level. Thanks again LiJo.
🤗
Woah woah!!! Wait.... I feel I only deserve love AFTER doing something for someone, I would distrust love from someone without them knowing what I do, or am known for!! This explained it so well, fuck 😱😱😱 Thanks!!
Suddenly so many things make sense.
But love isn't conditional, if the love you receive is conditional then it's not really love in the truest sense, is more like admiration.
Exactly!!! Good point so I guess unconditional love makes no sense to thinkers.
@@diplomat2623 It does make sense if thinkers really go deep into any kind of deep spiritual journey, then we have glimpses... just glimpses that are so fucking hard to hold on to.
Thanks for another great video!!! Funny I started watching these to help better understand my thinking preferences, now I find myself sending them to my friends and family that have said they had a hard time "getting me".
"Feelings are not necessary." correct. - intp
You feel hot, you feel cold, you feel hungry, simple feelings that I can relate to and actually do something about!
How INTP anxiety looks like in the workplace:
I dont speak up, or i dont correct mistakes, i dont prepare others hot to handle failures that i see coming because i afraid to hurt their feelings.
It was not always this way, but i need money and i need my job, so i rather STFU and bend my head and do what i'm told to. Society hates logic, they need only emotions and empathy. So i try to be emphatic. It looks like when a 3rd grader reads up loud from the textbook. But hey! I'm trying my best there.
3rd slot Fe here. I GOT YOU. I used to be exactly like you in early-middle, late-elementary school. You have to see what parts of yourself are attractive and believe it. Be confident and don't care. Lie to yourself often, tell yourself that you are amazing no matter what, look in the mirror look at yourself sternly and make up a million bullshit reasons why you're great. At least that's how you deal with the (F) part of Fe. Interpreting people has to deal more with learning and paying attention. If you REALLY want to know how to piece wording together, read a book called, "How to Make Friends and Influence People". Its Fe dom THE BOOK.
Of course, its your bottom function so it won't be easy, but good luck. Demon Fe sucks.
Don't use your Fe to be insecure, use it to help other people even if you won't get a reward.
@@Brad-hw2iq thanks, I'll read it and I'll will try complementing the mirror ;)
"It was not always this way, but i need money and i need my job, so i rather STFU and bend my head and do what i'm told to." - Until it reaches a point when I just stand up and disappear. And people won't even know what why I left. Like a pressure cooker: can bear a lot, but when it's too much, explodes
I am also an INTP and I give em hell without regeret.
To be completely honest, until I discovered MBTI I did not even know feelings were real things that people were guided by 😂😂😂 I thought people lacked CONTROL and had the ability to "think" and choose not to 😂😂😂😂 I swear it's the truth. Many relationships have blown up because of this YES THEY HAVE 💯🙌🏾
I love her metaphors and how long she can keep them going.
that one time i thought i have depression because i started...... experiencing... feelings!!!! so, I started looking for a psychiatrist, thinking I might have adhd or bpd lmao. as for my mbti, i have no idea what type i am, it always changes back and forth between entj, intj, istp, esfp, isfp, istj i know, i know weird. but i just really cannot understand myself and no matter how much research i do (to the point where I'm mentally exhausted) the answer doesn't come. I just want to trust my instinct and wait and maybe the answer would know, but. it. never. does. help fellow internet friends help me find my mbti I'm dying from all the thinking gosh. oh and yeah, with feelings, i always try to separate myslef from them cause they cause too much chaos in my mind, but lately I've been speaking up more about them it really help, and that's what I'd recommended for any thinker types i guess, really just talking your mind out even if it doesn't make sense (oh no!! i know, sensless thoughts?! but it seriously helps to say your thoughts outloud) have a good day if you're reading this, you're cool
We can think through and feel complex things through those functions but the vast majority of the time we just wanna simply feel good/be valued.
Your face at the end of the cut scene, I laughed out loud because I know what was going through your mind just then. What made me drop that and what can I do to avoid that unnecessary delay next take....
Yes!! I was just thinking about this and I saw the title...thank you very much for this video! Lijo😁
"spilled applesauce on alarm clock" I feel personally attacked
She's not joking about this . She thought the majority of the flowers I brought home we're given to me and she even told me once, " I thought they were for some old lady" because she truly didn't feel like she deserved any flowers.
3:30 this is why I realized in OPS I’m an Se-Te jumper rather than Se-Fi, as I just don’t do Fi as a default. But WHAT DID I DO to get the compliment or love?
Kekw! The subtle wow jab, who hurt you!?
Anyway I like your content, you use more metaphors than I do and make me feel normal. Keep it up!
Feeler:Can you open up?
Thinker:Denied, oil and water don't concoct.
As an INTP I would say what we tend to do is discover some pattern related to an emotion, and then follow it logically, even when it's sometimes false just because we are that bad at understanding emotions. For example, I may like making things so I tell myself that I like creativity, so next time there is an activity I will check it using the true/false logic, is it creative? Sometimes something may be creative and I may not like it, but because I strictly follow the rule I might not even realise it until after like 1000 tries. Basically Ti turns emotions into partially accurate code to follow that is slow to update, attempting to refractor the code every once in a while, kind of like Newton's laws were partially correct and everyone believed them until Einstein showed up.
Interesting! This made me think about the way I do this to a small degree. Only, my "logic" goes something more like:
Does this hurt anyone that doesn't want to be hurt?
Yes ➡️ I do NOT like it.
No ➡️ move to next question.
Is this a new thing?
Yes ➡️ I love it!
No ➡️ move to next question.
Is it a thing I can do?
Yes ➡️ I love it!
No ➡️ move to next question.
Is it a thing I can talk about?
Yes ➡️ I love it!
No ➡️ move to next question.
Is this thing an idea I can ponder?
Yes ➡️ I love it!
No ➡️ move to next question.
Is it a thing I can share with other people?
Yes ➡️ I love it!
No ➡️ move to next question.
Does it remind me of another thing I like, even if I don't know why?
Yes ➡️ I love it!
No ➡️ I'll probably love it anyways. Better try it! 🤷♀️
Damn Lijo... You look like you had a good smoke 💨✌️👽
Awesome video, keep it up 😉
I take my glasses off ONCE and this is what you think of me?! 😆
@@InternetLiJo ONCE?! Don’t worry about it, it’s a good look. 😆💨👽
Can you do a how feeler perceive thinkers?
Or would that be difficult for you, because you're a thinker?
I can answer that.
Feelers find thinkers very blunt. They don't care about feelings as much and care more about facts. Sometimes a thinker can hurt a feeler's feelings in this way which can cause a divide. As an Fe dominant, I can say from my experience (this doesn't apply to everyone) I admire thinkers' intellect. It's very intriguing to me and makes me curious, but I can be kind of intimidated by a thinker because they don't care about emotions as much.
@@flutenanyidk1806 Thanks for sharing! There are times in my life where I’ve had a conversation with a feeler that ended with them in tears. A few of those I still occasionally ponder and can’t figure out what there was to even have any feelings about. It’s not that my intent was to be insensitive, it’s just that I had no feelings about the issue and hadn’t imagined that someone would.
@@jamiehenderson6387 It's probably just the stark contrast between being highly attuned to emotions and (sometimes) trying to ignore them.
I'm Fi. In my experience, thinkers often "love to argue." I know they don't mean it as an argument, the Ti want to rrreeeaaaalllyyy figure out if my claims are true and legitimate, and Te are more into gathering ideas from others, but they must know that it's applicable and efficient. Since it's so important to them, they often either bombard me with every imaginable (even unrealistic) reason why the whole thing might be wrong, or cling to tiny details that in my opinion are not necessary to think through in advance.
Consequently, the feeling they put behind it is intense, because this "argument" matters so much to them, but they aren't that good with controling their emotions, and often don't notice how much they do or don't use them. They're either defensive or stone-cold or arrogant or actually have fun. Feelers, on the other hand, often hate arguing and are insecure about it, so we often feel attacked or humiliated or can get aggressive if we're stressed and annoyed and the thinker considers it a normal, fun conversation.
We value the vibe more, and many thinkers tend to dismiss it or toy with it.
I also used to be furious at how a thinker can make me look and feel stupid and wrong, and the next day they'd be teaching my ideas and claims to someone else. I only recently started to accept why they needed to fight me so hard in the first place.
Feelers often do the same when they "neee to get the feeling right" (theirs or others') so they really bother and push everyone or put themselves and others through stuff they could easily avoid if they "thought." But they "need" to feel it.
@N Harris Me and mine love discussions and debates too, but we're sensitive to the emotional atmosphere, and are often insecure on the T stuff, so we can feel attacked and humiliated. If it's done calmly and respectfully I can debate for hours.
As for intellectual property, yes, recently as I started to accept that this is how thinkers work and why, I learnt to be calmer and even joke about it. But for many years I'd feel insulted and get responses like "I never argued" or "Quit whining." It felt like denial and arrogance.
It takes a lot of maturity on both sides to handle these episodes. Learning it is totally worth it, though :)
The way I describe my demon Fi is like a tiny flame deep down that I tend to ignore but that subtly affects my decisions. Over time I’ve given it more oxygen and it’s grown in size and therefore has more impact. I’ve developed some clear moral standings using it the help me make decisions. Although, I am still very black and white about those things. Right and wrong have a solid line separating the two.
I also need reasons for my feelings. As a kid and teenager when I couldn’t figure out why I was experiencing a particular feeling, especially a negative one, I felt like I was living upside down until it was gone. As an adult I usually can stop and determine the cause as well as a possible solution and/or all of the likely scenarios that will develop if it’s something out of my control (likely the latter) and then can move on from the feeling.
Are you ENTJ? That thing about it being out of your control and you can just move on from the feeling. Have you had to face problems because of this? Or had any regrets with the outcome? Like for instance if you met some Fi Savior people and it felt right to be in their presence but for one big important reason (insert whatever) you couldn't allow yourself to feel too right and so you had to reason yourself out of it.
I enjoy your communication, thank you.
I'm here for the vibe
I can't help but find something adorable with how INTJs handle their feelings, even though other times the ways you guys handle them can be very destructive to relationships. Please get your Fi's in order and learn to process them. There's plenty of mystical wandering ENFP/INFPs who could help you with them if you learn to trust them. We're like magical flying fairies who mastered the use of the chemicals and experiencing all their wonder.
Heyy, Infjs as well 😬❤️🌟
Thank you.
Spilling applesauce on your alarm clock is an oddly specific example...
Everything is liquid!
@@InternetLiJo i thought everything was sound vibrations....hmmm
Coffee and laptop...
Why are all the youtubers in my suggestions NFs? Glad you popped in there!
I am glad as well!
So thinker when you call emotions as chemicals. Becouse emotions are often unlogical, but chemistry based on natural rules. Giving meaning of the meaningless, I think that's what we all thinkers do.
As question marks (Posting before watching)
As an ENTP my way into emotions was to analyze people interactions and "seeing" which feeling and actions were correlated so I could do the same, also to manipulate but that's another story right. Also, the struggle of Thinkers seeing their Feeler friends crying over a problem that they caused for themselves because of their own emotions: No lad, you can't do that.
About Te doms having a big heart, my boss did said that I'm the gentlest person she has ever met lol little she knows >.>
I think ENTPs are really gentle...eventually lol. When they are younger they kinda deny or ignore Fe.... but overtime it becomes part of their wheelhouse and they can be really sweet. And Lijo said Ti's like you have a big heart (you do) and Te's like INTJs have a child-like expression which we do... once we get comfortable enough to show it 🙃🙂
ENTPs don't get enough credit in the mbti community, imo. They might be a total pain in the ass sometimes, but they're also hilarious and caring and generous. You just have to get close to them before they'll let you see their caring side. My ENTP partner is the most emotionally constipated person I know. It's infuriating sometimes, but also totally adorable when I get to see them put so much effort into doing all the feeling nonsense and handling my emotions with so much care. Even though irrational emotions and self-inflicted emotional pain are big no-nos for everyone else, somehow I'm the exception that gets to be protected and coddled. My ENTP also likes to give life coaching and advice to everyone (people seem to trust an ENTPs judgment almost more than their own) and loves to make a positive impact on people's lives but definitely will never, ever, ever admit that out loud.
@@grazynawolska8160 I have an INTJ female friend of mine and our friendship's great, I matured enough to give people the space they need, as I learned that I need space for myself sometimes, and I feel when I'm overwhelming her with random topics, but both of us love some "kids" stuff like anime and games and we do sound like teenagers when we're talking about stuff that we like, at the same time both are nerds but in their own weird way, she's the responsible one obviously
@@ramontavaresdacruz2256 that's great! As an INTJ I started to work closely with an ENTP and I do enjoy the partnership. I've never dealt much with ENTPs before and kinda thought them immature when young. But this ENTP is older, more sensitive and supportive. We got eachother's backs in front of the boss which is nice and he says talking project issues out with me helps him think (Ne asking Ni). We typically plan and strategies everything before bringing to the group lol.... I think cause we're both NT but it sounds like we're are masterminding a world domination plan haha and yes I am the more responsible one lol 😆
I understand now why I always avoided conflicts, I hate this feeling of being really angry and out of myself.
Ex boyfriends : We have to talk
Me try to escape the room, and want to go outside.
The problem was more they talked, more the time passed, and more my anger grew up, and here came my shadow ENTP « I don’t care of people, I don’t care of the rules »
I was feeling able to destroy everything.
« I told you I didn’t want to talk »
ESFP on Visio : I like your smile !
INTJ : It’s not a smile, you just make me laugh.
I think one of the things that made me question if I'm INFP is it's actually easy for me to conceptualize not having Fi or Fe, in fact, having lowish Fi and moderate Fe seems ideal in terms of individual functionality, it's having low *intuition* I have trouble conceptualizing (I already have terrible Se, just today I hit my head on a metal bar in front of me simply because it wasn't directly in my line of sight, I don't know how I survive this way either but I have!). I know functions tests don't tell the whole story and are largely skewed by one's own perceptions, but adding up feeling, sensing, intuitive and thinking functions, Ne + Ni are always on top and Si + Se are always on the bottom... it makes sense why I always felt like the blunt sarcastic one in INFP groups now, I'm probably a Ne/Ni dom who mistyped because I perceive myself as emotionally volatile and have some level of awareness of social issues.
As an ENFJ I say WOW. Thanks!
Question: could the "adult" feeling from your dominant functions have to do with your dominant functions also being your masculine ones? I would not describe either my lead Ne or my Te as "responsible" in the sense of taking care of the household. Responsible for what *they* think of as their jobs, yes, very. But as neither of them think it's their responsibility to keep the house running... screaming demon function children trying to run the show. (And in the case that Fi, somehow, is a dominant, it's very screamy for a dominant function.)
There are times at which I wish the struggles of my INTJ self could be solved via a "two-body solution of seperate sovereigns".
I tried setting emotions aside in my early high school years, thinking I could just make my way advancing through the world on Spock-like logic. Then stress and exhaustion from not having enough free time made my Fi feel suffocated to the point that it eventually declared open civil war, which led to a series of truces and flare ups in "the home front of the mind" over the years.
Now I've given Fi veto power over most decisions. Any decision with any forseeable reprucussions over several days in length must be delayed at least 24 hours to give Fi time to process. Because any decision that bypasses such "regular order" is liable to paralyze/sabotage associated Te efforts once Fi gets wise to what's going on.
As you can imagine, I'm very discerning in pursuing things beyond contained, low-to-zero-cost "exploratory committees". But when I do commit, it tends to manifest in a "shock-and-awe" effort that persists until proper closure is reached or until exhaustion stirs up that home front again.
Whelp, at least both sides' M.O. toward self-preservation in all respects mean the "nuclear option" was ruled out a long time ago (you can guess what that means). The findings of that committee were surprisingly non-partisan. 😅
Feelings are annoying, but listening to them is necessary.
How old are you? When did you mature into letting Fi take charge? ANd how does you inferior Se play a part? This soon 30 year old Intj I know is using his Te-Se with me, in that he wants to "see what happens and let life surprise him" because previous relationships of his has been too romanticized and explosive, soon to fade out. He wants to establish a friendship, but to me, an Fi-dom it's unnatural to slow things down even though I also believe more in love lasting when people have been friends for a while first.
@@purplemind93 I'm in my late 20s, and I'd say I formally recognized my Fi's veto power at university after spending much of my high school years in what at times felt like an on-again-off-again Te-Fi civil war over the "soverign" self's Ni capitol amidst an "isolationist" aversion to the Fe-oriented teenage "global" macro-culture of the time and the continuing sense of ever-increasing Se external demands on my time and enerrgy.
Fi was at first totally willing to let Te take the Ni reigns in striving for the optimal future at the cost of the present. Eventually, however, anxieties of reality's ever-growing external demands and aversions made me more "isolationist", which gave a boost to Fi, and soon enough Ni-Fi loops made me question the existential point of everything. Follow Ni far enough behind all the layers of reason and meaning, you find that all motive for just about any endevor stems from personal Fi desires and that for the vast majority of people, their Te endeavors ultimately matter little long after their gone. Te realized that it was acting on behalf of Fi this entire time and that it can't act well for too long without the support of Fi.
That realization settled in over the years, but if I had to point to a single event as the final straw that lead to formal recognition of Fi's veto power was when during the week before the year's final exams, I had been notified that I was getting some scholarship award for being in the top 3 of my program's class and was to meet the dean for some photo op. I considered it a distraction from precious study time, but obliged out of some curiosity (and because they were giving me a bit of money so it seemed the proper thing to do). During the event, I felt nothing, not even the momentary relief I usually feel at the conclusion of hard-fought endeavors which tend to accompany accomplishments. I felt no pride, just exhaustion from the year so far and from events yet to come, along with the sudden realization that I was shaking the hand of some balding dude whose PhD and life of accolades neither made him more memorable than anyone else nor tangibly "better" (whatever that meant) in any significant sense.
Anyway, the internal peace agreement has solidified into the following terms: Te decides how to tackle endeavors and does so, but Fi must first carefully decide whether to pursue each endeavor in light of all foreseeable outcomes and factors involved (unless a quick decision is absolutely required). Fi can also revoke such authorization at any time but must first go through the process of mulling it over long and hard before doing so. Peace in our time.
@@migsmethinks5801 Maybe it's not appropriate to say so but I enjoyed reading your detailed story with the shaking of the hands with some "balding dude who wasn't more memorable than anybody else". Thank you for sharing. What you're saying adds up with how I perceive your functions and how they collaborate. I feel like INTJs strive for peace of mind just as much as development the older they get? Or is that perhaps individual? Do you know your enneagram type as well? Can I also ask you what culture you were born into?
It's not easy developing your tertiary function. But you care about it so much more than your auxiliary I find that you are drawn to emphasize it as much as you can. Sometimes though, because it's underdeveloped the results are juvenile^^ Since my tertiary function is Ni, do you have any tips for how I can develop it carefully without falling into the loop?
@@purplemind93 5w4. Born in SE Asia of SE Asian heritage but was raised in and consider myself American first.
As for developing tert, I'm not sure. My Fi shows heavily here since the thread and talking about one's own psychology seems a very Fi thing. The tertiary function is often known as the "eternal child", and, to me, Fi just seems like the most child-like of the functions. Not sure what tert Ni would be like though. But if it's anything like a child version of yourself, then it's both pretty damn important and a pain to communicate with - somewhat like a kid who was the only witness at a crime scene. If that's the case, I'm guessing your Ni feels like it's following you about, tugging on your jacket, trying to tell you all the things it's figured out but doing it in a sort of semi-intelligible childspeak. Just try to stop and listen to it, I suppose, and piece together what it's trying to say. If your tert Ni tells you about some pattern, then it's worth following it up and investigating to look for more evidence. But don't let that be the end-all and be-all in your decisions, just as you wouldn't prosecute a case purely on the testimony of a kid.
EXACTLY!!!!!!!
PRECISELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
for us INTJs there IS NO FEELING UNLESS IT CAN BE RATIONALIZED as to WHY.
regardless, we GREATLY APPRECIATE the POSITIVES if and when they are rightfully attained.
The fear of the emotion is real!!! I think the other thing is as a dominant thinker, there has to be validity or a logical reason behind the chemicals. Otherwise they're classified as irrelevant and then we get annoyed when they persist. (Unfortunately, in my experience this annoyance has been felt with my emotions and when observing others' emotions😬)
It's good to get some Ni/Te perspective. Thanks for the video!
-ISFJ
I've just recently wondering especially after watching Queen's Gambit; as Beth, the main character being INTJ. Do you think that INTJ is born or shaped through a very hard life process? I'd love to know how you think about this
Any advice to a Fi dom on how not to sacrifice myself to a Fi tertiary who reasoned his way out of feeling stuff for me for one important reason (don't really want to say what), yet wants to remain friends because we've talked about how much better it is to experience love when there is an unrushed solid friendship at the bottom. The problem is though that we are not "Monica and Chandler", the attraction didn't grow naturally out of friendship. Instead there is something very unnatural about pushing aside attraction and seeking friendship even though the idea appeals to me. I also feel like I'm throwing myself under the bus, because I will most likely not NOT grow more romantic feelings if we become closer friends and the situation is morally strange for me but apparently not for him. I have a speech ready for the next time we meet, to tell him I can't do it after all. And at the same time I'm thinking to myself... Hang on, maybe I'm just idealizing him again, perhaps it will turn out that we are not romantically compatible as we hang out more anyway. Perhaps we will discover that there is too big a cultural difference. Is this my weak Te trying to help me out? I shouldn't listen to it should I? Because of the sacrifice I will need to do. Jane Eyre, who is my hero, kept her integrity, her brave heart and her ideals of equality when she left mr Rochester. I want to do the same.
Interesting predicament! I do agree that a solid friendship is a good foundation for any relationship. Mostly because there may be times in life where you are less attracted to each other (or simply less attractive) and that's ok when the foundation is rooted in something much deeper. Just my two cents :)
@@InternetLiJo yes for sure and you aren’t deceived by the moment but instead know each other so we’ll and STILL like to be around each other haha. But ofc couples who fall in love fast might also make things work like that, perhaps more so if they are secure people from the start.
Differences in demon fe vs demon fi on the subject?
Hey, LiJo, I've been meaning to ask this for a while but are you able to simply fall asleep?
No matter how tired I become, I won't fall sleep while doing something like being on my phone. I'd have to put everything away and try to sleep and for as long as I can remember I've never been carried to bed because I fell asleep watching TV or anything like that when I was younger.
I do. But it’s because I fully expend my energy mentally or physically throughout the day. At the end of the day it’s lights out; and I love it. I also work out 5 days a week and I think that helps
ur music use is very good
Applesauce on the alarm clock 😄😄
lol my boyfriend referring to them as the feel good chemicals xD
In the basement playing ... 😄😄😄
You are different from INTJs I know personally. I avoid talking about personality types with INTJs. I'm afraid that they would laugh at me.
But would they really? Or is it just that we unintentionally come across as stern or super-serious? Especially if you appeal to their existing knowledge, and maybe even offer to expand it, I'll bet they'd enjoy talking with you. Like LiJo said in another video, if we were candy, we INTJs would be like those chocolates with the hard dark chocolate outer shell, and a gooey sweet heart in the middle. ;)
My brother is an INTJ and is the person in my life who is most interested in MBTI after me. They may be more interested than you’d expect!
It is a system. We understand systems.
@@dayoffnow my problem with INTJs is that they rely on official sources too much. As I see my brother need permission of something to tell anything. I assume INTJs were thriving in medieval times as methaphysicist and teologists. But my brother is my best INTJ experience. In contrast, my co-worker treated me like an Inquisition practitioner. She's too rigid and too harsh. That's too much. I haven't saw her other side in 2 years.
Maybe you're confusing INTJs with ISTJs. INTJs are less likely to rely on "official sources" because that is referring to a sensory standard and sensory is our last function. We are most likely to trust ourselves based on our own intuition.
As an ENFP who knows a pretty and smart INTJ girl rn who I think is into me but just makes literally no sense in her style of communication to me, this makes sense.
-Thx lmao
I'm trying so freaking hard to type my boyfriend. I suspect he is an INTJ (BPCS) but he took the test once and got ENFJ, so my brain is just AGH. Anyways, these videos help a lot. (Coming from an ENFP) For now he will be an Enigma.
I'm an ENFJ but my writing sounds like an INTJ because I use so much Ni in it. I'm pretty sure it's my Se that gives it that Te vibe. Long story short, my writing probably has a lot of Fe in it but that's the funtion that I use the least in something I want to sound good.
If I really work hard on a piece, you'll see a trace amount of Fe but you'll mostly see the other three.
Edit: I hope this helps. I don't know if it does.
haha 5:09 that 4th slot Se be coming to get you 😂
Yes, they feel undeserving. My INTP son is exactly like that. Enneagram 5 9 4. I love to make him laugh though. I give him so many compliments, but he still doesn't think he deserves them.
Write him a note. He'll appreciate it more.
I tend to ignore how I'm feeling, but sometimes I wish I could connect with those around me. I know that most analyst types aren't given the same support that other types are, and it can make you feel really lonely and/withdrawn 😔
Growing as an individual will help you connect with those around you on a more emotional level, but in the meantime, connect with others with ideas.
Thanks for the advice. I'll try to connect more based on ideas. Ik I've met a bunch of ENFPs, ENFJs, and an ENTP who I can talk with about intellectual stuff, so I'm not completely alone
What are emotions
Puppet strings.
I suspect many Thinkers look down on Feelers as soft and even a bit stupid. Logic is usually ascribed to objectivity and intelligence. But being human is largely about having feelings. It is ultimately both of course. Too much of either creates imbalance.
Yep..
Most Te vid ever
I think my way to what I "feel" but I don't think that's what feelings really are. Or maybe they are. I have no idea. I'd rather just skip the whole feeling thing. Too subject. Not always rational. Just too messy.
I don’t care about how I feel. - INTJ
I’m an infj. I feel like I have a foot in both worlds. I understand everyone else’s perspective and feelings but rarely feel any first hand emotion of my own but know how I should feel about the situation which I have often predicted and mentally rehearsed 🤷🏻♀️
Infj here too 👋 I find it weird sometimes how when I'm alone I rarely focus on how I feel or feelings overall (happily analyse stuff in my head) but as soon as another person's there it's suddenly all about feelings? Like I'm flooded 🤷🏼♀️ Do you do that too?
@@JellyIsland yes I’m kind of a floating head not attached to the real world. People are a catalyst I suppose... like the moon it has no light of its own it’s a reflection 🤷🏻♀️
🤗💖
I legitimately don't find feelings worth my time to understand. I would much rather push them out of my mind and stay active to keep it from becoming a thing.
They are a part of you.
If you push them away, one day they'll stay away, even if you want/ need them in a certain situation.
We are humans, so feelings exist to evaluate a rational statement. They should not control us, they are widening you rational decision! Like advisers what you as human like/want/need.
Keep on grinding, God bless
I understand the temptation, but trust me on this one, those suppressed feelings WILL come back to bite you in the behind. (Often in the form of physical illness.) Far better (in the long run) to begin acknowledging and processing your feelings right up front. No matter how awkward or silly it seems. :)
I actually find that addressing feelings helps them pass more quickly.
Usually I’ll try to step back and assess if the feeling is valid, or an overreaction due to other factors. Often just that step helps. When I can recognize that what I’m feeling is influenced by stress or hormones I can let it go more easily.
When the feelings are valid they are often handled just by acknowledging them. When there is action to take it’s easier to take knowing what I feel and why.
I agree. Often times it would be better to not feel anything. Wait a minute... better? What's better based off of? The subjective idea on what's good and bad is based on... Feelings? If you had no ability to feel, you would be unable to make decisions, because when you cut far enough, everything, any logical point, is based on feelings. Is murder bad? Why? Because it harms society? So? If society falls everybody will be dead and humans will cease to exist. What's wrong with that? Try to answer logically and you'll find that there's nothing logically wrong with that. The truth of the matter is, you experience emotions. They vary in intensity, and perhaps you want the ability to feel enough to be able to make decisions, but not so much that they drown your day with depression or cause an angry outburst to a family member. If you want to control the intensity of feelings, you need to acknowledge their existence and deal with them in one way or another, or they will erupt and control you. And that's not good.
@@SewaNudeln I would love for us to all be microchipped and said chips had the ability to alter emotional states to always make room for pragmatic problem solving.
The acid burns!
Fascinating stuff! Loved the poker face in the bloopers! That made me think about my thinker friends, none of them cuss or swear even when to a potty mouth feeler like myself they have had good reason. I guess they dont feel any benefit so why bother, but that's just a guess. 🙂
I’m a thinker with a potty mouth. I know feelers that never cuss. I actually wonder if it’s the more introverted thinker types that don’t much?? They seem more controlled most of the time. 🤷🏻♀️
@@jamiehenderson6387 That would make sense! I'm INFP and my thinking buddies are ISTJs and one is an INTJ, and I think you could describe all of them as controlled. 🙂 Do you know your type?
@@edwright4892 Yup. I’m ENTP. My husband is INTJ. Son is ISTJ . So I have those around too and they are for sure controlled. Ha. My daughters are ENFJ ENFP and ENTJ. With them being kids it’s hard to know if my theory holds though. 😊
@@jamiehenderson6387 4 kids? That excuses any amount of potty mouth! 🙂 My wife is ESFJ and our boys are ENFJ and INFP so our house is feeling central! Isn't it interesting how kids most often unherit a blend of their parents cognitive functions. On the subject of swearing does it give you an emotional release? I measure mine in the moment to suit the incident severity and do feel it allows me to signal things I would normally internalise. In the UK we have a lot of creative cussing choices and there has definately been some swearing "inflation" in recent years with only 1 word really left that's generally deemed "low". No need to reply btw you must be run off your feet! 🏃♀️
@@edwright4892 Haha! Thanks. The UK has some of the best swearing! US swearing is so boring in comparison. 😂
I do love the interesting mix in my kiddos! The girls are all ENxx like me. I find that interesting. Your house is feeling central! Ha.
Swearing is cathartic for sure. A way to express and release the feelings.
I had a minute to answer while we eat lunch lol. Back to the fun after that. 😂
now how do feelers perceive thinking? haha
"You are right. But you hurt my feelings."
"Honesty is not a virtue."
"You are not honest just mean by telling the truth."
"I don't like you. The problem with you is how you phrase it, not what you are saying."
They're more like "It's not what you said but how you made me feel"
Y'all don't care about my feelings man!
Frank James makes a video talking about his least favorite things about each type. He describes it well.
My biggest beefs with thinkers are two things.
They don't trust me or are skeptical when I'm trying to be nice and show appreciation.
They don't think about the impact their words can have on the emotional states of others. They just come out with the facts and don't care if it hurts. As an Fe dominant, I just naturally dislike that idea. I recognize that it's important to be like that sometimes but I just don't like it.
"Why do you argue and make me feel stupid and wrong if the next day you wisely share my arguments with someone else???"
"You're emotional. No, really, shut up and look at yourself, you're emotional. Deny it from here to Mars, but you're emotional."
I love how triggered y'all are 🤣🤣🤣
Aww 😁
LOL!!
Just accept the F.... Lolz.
I swim in chemicals, chemicals are my friend
I have come to the conclusion that I’m an INTJ/P. It really just depends on my mood and maybe what I ate for breakfast (who fucking knows lmao).
INTJ: Because I’m depressed about a single future scenario that hasn’t happened yet but seems inevitable, I plan ahead, I get annoyed with trivial meaningless shit, I dislike being around people, I am more likely to assume I’m right and they are wrong, I’m thing rather than people oriented, I’m determined to break up and complete what I set my mind to with mini-deadlines along the way, and I hate how INTP’s waste time trying to solve stupid meaningless shit.
INTP: Because I’m lazy af, I think of possibilities but never follow though unless I have to, I’m nihilistic, I wait until the last minute to do something, I waste time watching RUclips or gaming all day, I wish I could connect with people and have friends/relationship, I try to guide people into seeing that they are wrong rather than telling them flat out so I don’t risk embarrassing them or myself, I waste time trying to solve stupid meaningless shit, and I hate how INTJ’s seem to think that they are always right.
I think the 8'th function is our Demon function and our 4'th function is our inferior function filled with insecurities, worst fears etc. Just like your 7'th function is Fe trickster (blindspot) and so on.
What you’re talking about is the John Beebe model of cognitive functions. The system LiJo is talking about here is objective personality where the dominant and auxiliary functions are called “saviors” and the tertiary and inferior are called “demons”. The terminology overlaps so it’s confusing.
Feelings are not emotions.