My older sister's type is my shadow type. It was quite frustrating growing up together because we both perceived each other's cognitive process as a weakness. As adults, I've noticed that when we get really stressed out, we tend to "look like" each other's type (probably because we see our own way of problem solving isn't working, so may as well go for the exact opposite). Only problem with that is that we aren't good at using our opposite functions, and just tend to mimic each other's strengths in self-destructive methods.
My mom is my shadow type, and given that she's one of the ExTJs, our relationship is still defined by the idea that I have a ton of potential and I'm wasting it for no reason. She gets along way better with my sister, who she at least understands that she doesn't understand.
My 2 daughters are shadow of each other. Together they are a powerhouse! What one lacks, the other excels. There's rarely any competition between them because they so different yet together they can accomplish anything. The older one is INFJ the younger is ENFP.
AKDKQKDNAJA YO Y MI MAMÁ, mi mamá es mi shadow type pero no nos llevamos mal en general, pero tampoco creo que seamos el par perfecto ni mucho menos y la vdd si tenemos bastantes cosas en común ( será mi mamá? :v ) y la amo mucho wajaj xd
@@eynta2 Me and my sister are the same and we definitely have a lot of conflict. However I'll say we have more in common than we don't and usually come back around. We have similar interests, but different ways of percieving them
@@ForeverFashionGirl21 yeah I think ENFJs need someone who thinks rationally and helps them sorting out their feelings. I often feel overwhelmed and when I talk to my INTP bf he explains in 1-2 sentences to me that everything is ok and I don’t need to worry xD Another ENFJ friend of mine is together with an ENTJ, works well too. I wish your friend that she will find someone soon 🙏🏻
@@ForeverFashionGirl21 I'm an INTP and the ENFJs I know are very traditional but quite introverted for extroverts. I would prefer an ENTJ for practical reasons as I think they would help me with the basic survival skills I'm lacking.
As an INFP, I’ve unfortunately had lifelong difficulties getting along with ENTJs. They seem to hate me because I slow them down, and I’m too sensitive to their barbs. I can’t imagine dating one. I’ve fallen madly in love with ENFJs though. Fi and Fe can create misunderstandings but can also create a beautiful dynamic. I think the shadow functions are mostly unimportant, but there’s something to it.
yeah theres something strange about it because i feel like it should work but entjs are always so cruel and infps are the opposite idk how it works but i think you just need to find a healthy one
Well said and definitely agree. ENTJ's and my INFP self are better off inhabiting entirely different sections of the planet. As far as Fi and Fe, my boyfriend is an INFJ and while we had some misunderstandings early on, we mostly do have a beautiful dynamic.
I'm infp and my boyfriend is enfj 😂🥰 we both focus on self growth and awareness, it's really nice to have someone that can see my blind spots and vice versa. I think being objective is the key to understanding when dating your shadow type, that and vulnerability. We share the same values, that's a must! It also helps that we are both interested in mbti, understanding why and how we have misunderstood each other has really amped up the intimacy. We've also realized taking time apart to do whatever is a must, we aren't codependent, it's more like being together is so comfortable that we don't realize how much time has gone by. My ability to branch out with ne and his to narrow things down with ni means a never ending expansion and reduction. Like breathing.
I disagree with this theory from my own experience. I'm INTP and all people I like or even love are INFP's 😆 I am sensitive (HSP) and a loner (I really like being alone unless I trust you cause then I don't mind and as you might have heard/read INTP's usually trust like 1 to 3 people which are friends and partner) Why INFP's? Cause we're great at calling each others bullshit and literally arguements never escalate to yelling or anything like that 😅 I just see the logic and If I'm overly logical you can see something I don't see with your feeling and vice versa. INFP's and INTP's tend to be overthinkers so that also helps with the "mutual understanding" part and you both will see each other as funny or cute 😂 Not mean or anything like for overthinking stuff. Also being with an INFP for a long time isn't a problem which for a geek like me and them also isn't a problem. One note, this definitely applies to very intelligent INFP's and INTP's. (I don't get along with not-so-smart people at all, not talking about overview, actual intelligence) INFP's are surprisingly very thinking, more than people give them credit for... I dunno, I personally don't like to be with other thinking people, it's not that enjoyable and kind of boring and I especially hate extraverts. Not that I'm lazy or unsocial, I just don't like having to do those things cause... idk, why, I'm happy with myself and if you can be with me and make me a bit more happy and I can do the same then it's a win win and we don't even have to go anywhere. (I mean, yes, you do have to exercise a bit as a hoooman being and sometimes trips to interesting places but other than that, just nope) I am just a chill person, I don't want any conflicts and I get no conflicts (or any big ones like with extraverts) with INFP's. idk other types are too annoying or too boring or just don't understand.
Just speaking from experience here - I'm an INTP married to an ENTJ - we just started as friends and the MOST IMPORTANT thing in our (probably any) relationship is having clear communication. We are aware of our differences and do need to remind each-other from time to time, but we work really well together because we communicate openly. I'm sure it helps that it's almost impossible to offend either of us, so criticism is generally viewed as constructive. Some examples: I am generally more focused on doing something the way I think is the 'optimal' way, and he is more eager to just get things done - so when something is urgent, he will remind me that perfection isn't necessarily the goal. When there is no urgency, I'll remind him that finding the best process isn't a waste of time. He is very good at reading the social dynamic of situations, and finds my disregard for all that a little frustrating sometimes, but more often just amusing. I'm sometimes annoyed by his persistence with things I may see as futile, but generally admire the drive and perseverance he has. We do have a lot of common interests even though we have a different approach or slightly different values. We both work in the web hosting/building world - he manages a team, and I manage myself. We both like online gaming - He prefers co-op survival, I prefer solo story-based games. We both love D&D - I'll build a world and he'll run games in it. Basically, my point is, regardless of type, you just have to recognize and respect each-other's strengths and weaknesses, have patience, and offer/accept help when needed.
@@louisejoel Not quite sure, I met mine in college. To be fair I probably never would have gotten into D&D if it weren't for him, but the experience is 100% dependent on how much you like the people you play with. In general, I really like all the lore/history surrounding events and locations through the various eras and realms... I'm more into story than anything else.
@@narwhalzipan3785 Sure, I think my reason for not being into gaming is that I'm more focused on finding ways to make a living, suppose I've been pushed into my shadow
I'm an INFP and my husband is an ESTJ. Sometimes I feel like he's on a different planet than me. But over time we've developed really good communication and respect for our differences. We just have different ways of viewing the world and interacting with it. Honestly, I feel that our differences bring so much to the relationship because we fill in each other's weak spots. He's ruthlessly organized and such a natural leader so when I need help, he's all too happy to step in. I'm very in touch with my emotions and that of others, so I make him slow down and process things rather than shove it in a little box. It's good to be different!
i think if an infp wants a long term relationship they should marry an estj or an estp because from personal experience infp and enfj "the most compatible for them" are just for short terms because at first you will feel like you are really connected with each other but as time pass and infp will get burned out by an enfj always being so emotional and that's when problems arise even if the two talk about it at the end it will just be over and over again but an infp can get stuck at this sick relationship, as the enfj will win them over and over again.
I am an INFP and my older sister is ESTJ. We fought a lot when we were kids cause everything i did in her eyes were always wrong, and i couldn't understand what she wanted most of the time. Now that we are more mature as adults, i think we got drastically closer that expected. Somehow we just developed respect for each other's differences, knowing when to use our strengths and when to trust the other to use their strengths. She's the organized go-getter, the one who leads and plans. Meanwhile i'm the laid back one who's flexible enough to participate in her plans and follow her lead. She can get panicked when things don't go her way or when she can't do things she wanted to do, and i'm the one who often say, "it's okay, don't panic. As long as we're calm, we'll be able to think of a way to get through this.". I think it also kinda helps that we have a few similar interests and share some similar thoughts about things. I'm glad she's comfortable enough to share her feelings and thoughts to me. She sometimes ask me about things other people in her life do that she just doesn't understand, and i help unpack the stories and give possible reasons and motives of why people do things they do.
Wow. I'm an INTJ but ENTPs are literally the kinds of people I want to be. Outgoing and charismatic. Incidentally I find ENFPs the most attractive personality so what you said in that regard checks out!
INFJ here currently dating an ENTP. I believe he is the best match for me so far, we get along great and even when we (rarely) argue it's always somewhat pleasant in the end, never so bad we don't talk for days or yell during the conversation, which to me would be terrible, we always talk it out peacefully until we find common ground. We understand each other on a deep level, have great conversations, our needs are always fulfilled and we're just perfect together. I've never been so in love before.
entp are good for infj's but infj's Ruin us. entp's stay away. they will drain you till you have no more to give and accuse you of abuse if u caint give no more intj thou.....they give back the love. but entp have to be the ones keeping an eye that both partners have there feelings met. otherwise they get eaten up by "unlogical" emotions. because no one validates them
@@amaterasu5001 in all of my relationships so far I have always been the one that was drained, i'm infj. So I don't think it's generally true that infjs are draining people. You also would have to differentiate if the infj you had a relation with were fully matured or not yet. I can only speak from my experiences so far and I can say I don't know any entps personally
I’m an ENFP who has mostly dated INFPs and INFJs. Although I tend to find it a bit easier to see where INFPs are coming from with stuff, I would say I feel just as compatible or even more compatible with INFJs in general. I feel like there is a lot I can learn from them, and I just generally feel a strong connection with them, find them easy to talk to, and somehow always find my way to them.
I’m also an ENFP, through and through… ever since I’ve been tested for the first time (longer than 15 years ago), it never changed. Since everything I’ve read/watched about ENFP traits (even the “mean” ones), they always described me on point. I think the multiple stacking method makes some sense; my INFP partner and I have been together for 20 years; we couldn’t be more different from each other, mostly viewed from the outside world. But we do share the same core values, which I think is the building block for having a good relationship. Nonetheless, that could also happen with any other personality type. I was raised by both INTJ parents and my best friend is an INTJ, although other very good friends are also ENFPs (I love them!). My daughter is an INFJ and she’s a puzzle for me; it took another INFJ person to teach me how an INFJ thinks/functions, and all immediately made perfect sense. That doesn’t mean we still don’t have any struggles, but maybe it’s more like a mother/daughter relationship thing…
@@TheAdhdGardener Yes, INTP is the shadow type of ENTJ, but that's not what this comment is about. Each type is only paired up based on their common polar function and nothing else.
INFJ here, I knew 4 ENTP's and coincidentally, all of them became my crushes. I don't know but I admire them a lot, especially the way how they share their ideas to you.
I am an INFP with an ENFJ mother, we get along quite well and have an easy time communicating. But its noticable in our attitudes how different we are. We act really diferently
I agree with your final statement, but I think it's mostly valid for ExxP and IxxJ, who are more balanced judgers. An INFP and an ENTJ may both have Fi and Te but they are in the exact opposite position, so I think that could generate conflict (maybe they will complete each other, but I think it's more likely for ExxP and IxxJ).
Exactly! I’m an INTP and ENFJs drive me insane like no other type can. I’m constantly fighting with the ENFJs in my life because our values are just too opposed. I couldn’t imagine dating an ENFJ.
I was just about to comment this, but you beat me too it lol! The only thing I wanted to add though is that there might be more misunderstanding between INFP's and ENFJ's, which could lead to a lot of conflict, but I think INFP's and ENTJ's would stress each other out a lot more because both of them tend to be over-the-top in the area that stresses the other out the most.
Interesting. I’ve been able to observe an INFP/ENTJ relationship and, honestly, it works perfectly. The people I know both have the same goals and they work together to achieve them. They’re a great team.
As an INFP I would never want to be in a relationship with an ENTJ, not that there is anything objectively wrong with the type, I don't even dislike them at all, my boss is one and he and I work great together on the job. That said, although I am very orderly and highly motivated in my job I am a lazy, home-body, potato on my own time, I would drive an extroverted type nuts, especially an ExxJ, and visa-versa. I'm dating an INTP and that is, IMO, the golden pairing. Ti and Fi aren't all that different and since we have both developed our respective 4th functions decently well Ti-Fe and Fi-Te communicate nicely, and our middle functions are the same. So we have lots of overlapping similarities but just the FvsT difference adds some nice spice in the mix.
I agree with you. I keep seeing people calling opposite types “golden pairs” and that doesn’t make any sense to me. As an ISTP, my “golden pair” is supposed to be an ESTJ but from my personal experience they, together with ENTJs, are the types I get along the least. The fact that we don’t have any functions in common makes our ways of navigating life very different. They want to organize things and be productive while I just want to be chill and go with the flow. They’re usually bossy and constantly try to impose their opinions on others while, even tho I don’t always speak up, I’m very strong opinionated and hate being told how to think. They treat rules as sacred entities and get really defensive over them while I only follow what makes sense to me and if I spend a day without questioning things I die. There’s just so much space for conflict, theoretically speaking a relationship with them would be a nightmare.
I never understood it either. Every time that I've hung out with an ESTJ all I've wanted to do was bang their head with a hammer. How the hell am I supposed to be in a romantic relationship with them?
As an INFJ, I've been considering compatible types and curious about ISTP....I am also individuated thinker and self-driver who questions everything, just have high feeling sense connection and empathy....how is the FE for you as an ISTP? We have same functions just arranged differently! I love my Se, but it overwhelms me too....been developing my Se for healthy balance with my Ni.
Well at the end everything depends on the individual I guess. I have an ISTP and ESTJ friend in my circle and they get along very well. The ISTP happily relies on the ESTJs abilities when they are together.
Touché, the way ESTJ have to take control of and judge literally everything in their lives just piss me off so bad My mom (ESTJ): EVERYTHING matters Me(ISTP): NOTHING matters
@@daydreamer_asmr I'd say my Fe is OK, I'm trying to improve but it's still uncomfortable and draining everytime I have to use it. Sometimes I end up being unintentionally rude or cold with people I want to get closer and I can't help being blunt in social exchanges. I have a lot of empathy and I'm really understanding but since I feel awkward expressing it people just think i don't care... My sister is an INFJ too! our personalities and behaviors are very different but we understand eachother well I think
Great video! I'm an INFJ (I think) and the type I'm most naturally drawn to is definitely an ENTP. One of my best friends in college was an ENTP (based on my typing of her) and my son is an ENTP and we mesh really well both with conversation and senses of humor. I could see how making decisions with him is really easy as well. I love my INFP daughter as well and she's also great fun, but that dominant Fi and apparent total lack of a thinking function can get exhausting and frustrating to me after a while :) Pretty sure my husband is an ESTJ and his Te comes in very handy but we think extremely differently and approach problems in completely different ways. The key there is just to respect the other person and give them space for their brain to work their way and we both have that so it still works.
Cool Frank, INFJs are my shadow types, must be why I totally get your humor and especially love when you laugh at yourself 🤣 - Your understanding ENFP subscriber
I'm an ENTP my wife of almost 20 years is an INTJ. We have had our 'battles'...lol...but we are perfect for one another. Opposites seem to attract, and we are opposite but we complete each other. Love that woman!
As others have mentioned, we all use all of the functions, and acknowledging that only makes the theory more realistic, not less. People are complex, and no, not everything a given person ever does can be explained solely by four functions. Insisting on viewing everything people do solely through the lens of a four-function stack leads to a lot of misunderstandings and actually contributes a lot to mistyping, as people not only use the 'shadow functions' but can actually be very good with some of them! And people will actually mistype people based on seeing them use one of their shadow functions well! I've seen it happen many times.
Sure you may be able to use all the functions, but wouldn’t the Beebe Stack be more limiting? It even has a function that is the ‘blindspot’ and the ‘demon’. This might be because I’m more of a Jungian psychological types fan, but feeling is still feeling, intuition is still intuition, sensing is still sensing, and thinking is still thinking. I believe that having very broad types is good (functions (f/t/s/n) without clear attitudes (e/i) can exist), even Jung said that every individual is an exception. Now you are free to not agree with me, you may think that Jung is too old, and that’s okay, we can agree to have different opinions, I just want to show you another option incase you might like it. I think that Beebe is a cool guy and he has researched the theory a lot
@@The_Rusalka I prefer Cognitive Personality Theory myself, which is actually the least 'limiting' out of all these systems. It's not about having more limitations, it's about having more nuance and more recognition of people's complexity and ability to use functions in ways that go beyond the four-function stack ascribed to any given type. There's actually more flexibility, fewer limitations, and IMO just an overall more true-to-life portrayal of how people really operate here.
I do not use Fi and my Fe is very shy. I cannot be mad on a person for longer than 3 days, Ti will find any excuse of hating me. I do not value Se, I could use it when drunk, but Se and Ne are no different to me (do first, think later).
A timid INFP here who finally decided to post something😅. Great video FJ, very intriguing! I'd be interested to hear some answers to some questions I've been thinking about recently. How does being an ambivert affect personality and specifically the cognitive functions (I get ambiverts aren't really a MBTI thing, but still)? Can personality change over time due to experience, trauma, etc (especially with extrovert/introvert)? And do certain mental or medical conditions alter personality (Depression, anxiety, autism, etc)? Thanks for the videos and congratulations on a million subscribers!
Woah. I too have the same questions. I'm also thinking about why I'm having trouble guessing the MBTI types of 2 of my friends. The confusion is whether they are S/N type. They seem to have both T and F too. Maybe I need to understand the cognitive functions better so that I'll be able to place them under a particular type.
Social introversion/extroversion is likely based on a persons sensitivity to outside impulses. It's a scale, where you can be an ambivert if you're closer to the middle. However the cognitive functions in your stack are not on a scale, they are rigid, and also are not connected to the social extroversion. Despite this, it seems there is a correlation between the two: The less extroverted you are the more likely you'll prefer an introverted function as the dominant and vica versa. I believe social extroversion has an effect in this sense on developing one's function preferences, after all, if you prefer being alone, you're more likely spend time introspecting, then others who like to spend more time with people and being in situations with more outside stimuli. It's also worth to note that social anxiety plays a role in a persons self-assessment about their introversion. An extroverted person (usually when younger) can feel like they are an introvert for having anxiety from negative outside forces. More than likely this phase will pass after some years and they'll find their true selves. The functions in your stack are your preferences, they describe how you like to think, what you value the most in decision-making and processing facts/ideas. Everyone has every function, but it differs how comfortable they are with each. If you are using a function in one direction, say the feeling function introvertedly (Fi), then you won't use feeling in the extroverted direction, because they are filling the same role just in different ways. It's like if there are two approaches to a task, and you are comfortable with one, then you won't want to use the other, just if really necessary. Other functions in your stack are filling different roles, so in the end, you'll have to use (and learn to use) all 4 of them to live as a functional person. Not using shadow functions likely won't cause you troubles, on the other hand, not using the lower functions in your stack will. Still, it's worth to recognise the shadow functions to understand people who might use them and accept their way of thinking. Since people's relationship with the functions is preference-based, and considering those preferences have been developing since birth, it's very unlikely that someone's function stack will change after growing up. However, yes, if you experience something life-changing (usually negative), like a really heavy trauma or similar things that mess with your brain permanently, then it's not surprising if your personality changes with it. These are my thoughts on this, I hope it helped.
I'm going to have to watch one of Frank's videos again on the functions, I am so confused. The shadow thing I didn't know was 'a thing' and I'm so glad Frank nixed that theory, whew! As always you just make me smile, laugh and feel good FJ. Loved your live Saturday. I'm so happy for you both ❤️
Don't be glad Frank nixed the theory. It's a great theory, and just because he doesn't believe in it doesn't mean you shouldn't. I love Frank, but I do disagree with him on this one because I can actively see the way my blind Te works. Interestingly, this can be shown by function tests. Online MBTI tests such as Sakinorva show for me at least that my Te is the weakest, and it's my seventh function. It all makes perfect sense to me, and it might to you too if you give it a chance. P.S: I don't really recommend online tests in general, but they do show this very interesting fact.
@@milesyeet181 I took the Sakinorva test as well and got INFP. Yet, my Te only scored 8 points, while everything else was 24-35. It's hard to know if Te is so low because its my inferior and I just naturally want to reject it, so it scores low, or if I'm a INFJ and it's actually my trickster. My Fi/Fe were my highest, followed Ne/Si/Ni all being close in the middle. Just goes to show that a test can still give mixed results. You need to explore it more deeply on your own. And yes, I also agree that the shadow functions exist. Our brains are too complex to have it limited to just 4 functions.
@@benjaminfast5496 Oh yeah I should have clarified! My inferior was the lowest and then my Te was the lowest. I didn't want to admit it, but my Se point scored as 4. 4 for Se is a little embarrassing, I promise I go outside sometimes. But, it's true, the tests are super weird because they can never accurately know a person. People that are good at typing are so much better than tests, and I'm happy that you agree with me on shadow functions.
@@milesyeet181 Oh, that's really interesting! Because I've been feeling like I'm an INFP for a while, and I hold little to no value to Te, except when it makes sense (like signally before changing lanes while driving, because in failing to follow that rule could result in an accident, and potentially injuries.) However, what is SO urgent that I can't go over my coffee break time for 1 or 2 minutes. Is the world going to end? That's interesting that your inferior scored the lowest as well, even above the other shadow functions (which do exist, lol.) It just goes to show that we are cognitive of what we value and reject, and though we may see how our inferior function plays a role in our lives, we despise it and therefore don't want to associate ourselves to it on tests. I love talking about this stuff, so thanks for the reply. Cheers!
Very interesting. I'm an INFJ and my partner is an ENFP. We are similar in many ways and usually communicate well but sometimes there's little conflict and he gets on my nerves. 😅 Love your videos Frank!
as an ENFP, I love the conflicts that I had with INFJ. Really hard to describe. The conflict felt so irritating but also feels like it's happening because the connection is so deep not because the INFJs are annoying.
Same, Im an INFJ and my partner is ENFP. He's so fun I love it but at the same time he's really really annoying 😂 but I get annoyed quickly so can't blame him totally. But I love him to death!
ENTP here. I have an ISTP husband, an INTJ teenage son, a preteen ESFJ daughter, and a preteen ENTP mini-me daughter (which is HILARIOUS, btw). I get along the BEST, friendship wise, with my INTJ son and clash the most with my ESFJ daughter. Granted, it's all anecdotal, but it's super interesting to observe and analyze. We also are all adhd/autistic. THAT has been fun: seeing how neurodivergence plays out with cognitive functions. Let me know if you ever want to do a video on that; I've got tons of insight.
Great video Frank, I would just add that I'm a INFJ and my husband is a ESTP and he's my best friend in the entire world, we understand each other to the core, in fact I don't think I've ever had anyone else including my parents and siblings who have understood me as deeply as my ESTP husband does, I know we have helped each other strengthen our 4th function since I need help with my SE and he needs help with his NI and it's the other ones top function so it can work out wonderfully with your shadow or duel type, it just takes a lot of communication, understanding and of course love with any type, we just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary and have been together for 13 years and I can say we are both better people for being together 😊 thank you for all of your videos. Great job.
“Jumpers” aren’t subtypes, nor do they need to be. They are a more convoluted explanation that both middle functions are really “auxiliary” and under some circumstances the type’s “shadow auxiliary” function may be in the dominant attitude. Or maybe this isn’t any more straightforward.
The way you break it down makes so much sense! while my ENFP husband and I, the INFJ don't always "get" each other, the love is always there. It takes so much effort, but it's worth it to be with each other.
5:30 INTJ trigger mechanism activate! I think it is important to keep the shadow because otherwise it implies that a type has only one orientation of a function which doesn't make sense especially considering the fact that reality conditions us to use all functions all the time which points towards us having not only one orientation but both. The difference then remains only in terms of strength and accessibility which makes the shadow functions to make sense in that they are harder to access and weaker because of the lack of ability to access them consciously but only when special situations are present in reality. In that way the shadow functions represent a less accessible side of the self that's not entirely in one's control but can became more conscious over time which is the point of why they are the shadow in the first place. Because they are kept unconscious and they are not recognized in order to became conscious like the domminant stack. The domminant stack, on the other hand, represents only a small side of us which is our perception of ourselves or the ego. In that way it is erroneous to look at a type only in terms of their front cover that they project which is the ego, because the back part which is the shadow, is also part of them and can't be separated from the individual and the type. And as such, they are both important when we are talking about a type as they are part of it.
Without the shadow functions, there is no sense of balance - nothing on the other end of the teeter totter. I'm an INFP, and there is no doubt that I'm an Fi dom, but my shadow Fe is definitely existant. I don't use it to make my decisions, but I use it to understand other people's decisions. The weaker my conscious functions, the less I can even conceptulize the corresponding shadow function though.
I almost wonder if FJ is reacting to how woo-woo this level of teaching can get. I’m with you that I clearly have the ability to experience life on all these functions in both directions, but I’m not sure whether that’s what he’s denying. There have been too many times where I’m utterly stumped trying to make sense of another person’s experience no matter how much I want to understand them for me to fully disagree with him. If I could process life their way in my unconscious, wouldn’t I have an easier time grasping what makes them tick? I wasn’t even surprised to learn I had chosen a romantic partner who has the same cognitive orientation axis, they’re just in radically different alignment (INTJ/ISFP)
Eh I think it's probably better to think of these functions as less concrete blocks and more of a spectrum. To be one type or another you exist further down one side of each spectrum, but in reality it's still a spectrum. Also contrary to what MBTI people will tell you I believe it's generally possible to change your position on those spectra. Not a full swing from say Ni to Ne, but if you consider the position on the spectrum you are at a given time your thoughts may be 90% Ni and 10% Ne, but after self reflection and deliberate action you may be 85% Ni and 15% Ne or so on. The extent of the possible change is probably limited but it is possible to become more aware of the otherside of the conversation and become more temperate an individual.
I'm an INFJ and my little sister is an ENFP. We obviously argue sometimes, but I feel like we work great together. Being the youngest two in our family (not biologically, families are weird) we're often times put grouped together and when we're not fighting over usually stupid things, we make a great duo! And I think we sometimes scare people!
Sorry to add something here. As INFP, I can get along with all of diplomats. But don't know them all. Somehow, they are nice. But I am scared. Only to realize they actually want to protect me. Tbh, only infj sister that can smack down ENFP brothers for being super annoying. So I agree with you. Only INFJ that can do this and make ENFP stfu or afraid for real. It's like a whale shut down a dolphin. Yes, super scare with all of diplomats especially unhealthy one.
I'm dating an ISTJ and I don't think we've even had an argument yet. We will eventually since it happens to everyone, but I think we get along really well -INFJ
Ooh nice, a fellow twin! Although we are not shadow pairs, I am an infp (I think?) with a twin brother who is an isfp. Our Fi’s clash sometimes- which can be annoying- but other than that it’s great. We’re both not afraid to be weird around each other and often laugh and joke around, but sometimes it’s hard to have an in-depth conversation with him because he tends to zone out and get bored, lol. As a sensor he prefers more concrete topics. But hey, I wouldn’t trade him for the world
I like how you explain this, and I totally agree with the last part, but I disagree that it isn't helpful for personal development; that might have something to do with age though. My understanding is the 7th function is the weakest function because it is opposite of the child function (3rd). If you think about it, if you are using the 3rd function like a child, it's unlikely you can do anything with the 7th, or even know it's there. I'm an INFP and I am finding as I get older the 4th function, although inferior to the 1st, is becoming way more accessible than it was in my 20's and 30's. With it (because thinking is thinking) the cold hard logic of Ti shows up in extremely stressful situations as logically dissecting all my Fi beliefs- I sort of deconstruct myself (demon Ti). Ti has turned out to be even a harsher critic than Te ever was, but with it, I've gained clarity on my beliefs. Just my take on this.
It's the weakest function because it's opposed by both of the middle functions at once. Se is in a sense 'the opposite' of Si and also 'the opposite' of Ne, the extroverted function the INFP most prefers to use.
I think it's also the weakest because it's the opposite "class" as your dominate function (i.e. If you use a dominate judging function, you're 7th function would be a perceiving function). On top of this, it's the opposite to you're preferred method of judging/percieving (so ENFJ's normally prefer intuition for percieving, but their 7th function is Si). Furthermore, it's also the opposite direction as your dominate (i.e. introverted vs extraverted). So, if you add all that up, you get a whole mess of confusion lol
As an ENFJ, INFPs are my favourite type, I'm friends with so many of them and I love them to bits. So I've always said I'd love to date an INFP. But I've also fallen for an INTP, but I was skeptical if we'd actually be compatible. But it was nice to draw out more of my Ti by talking to them. From what I've seen of my INFP friends, I could never imagine them with ENTJs...
i used to be INFJ until recently, a lot of things happened in my life and im like a completely different person. i recently took the test again and apparently im an ENFP! i turned into my shadow type i guess? 😂
Or rather, you were an ENFP all along but you were forced to predominantly use your shadow functions in a stressful environment? In any case interesting
I seem to fluctuate between entp and intp. It's a little strange really. I guess it's because I'm an ambivert? That's the only thing I can guess currently
Obstacles are worth it. Infact inverse types in relationship, if involves open communication and understanding, can actually help eachother's to improve their shadow functions. Shadow functions are not to be overlooked, a person has access to every cognitive functions and the shadow types are your weakest, improving them can be beneficial.
The moment I stepped into shadow functions theory I would never come back to "only 4 functions", cause 8-function models explain much more than MBTI to me. Although I respect that FJ wants to keep things simpler and he enjoys it here, but for me, after going that deep, simpler models seem too shallow, I can't help it. In my opinion, our Dom-Inf dynamic is causing most problems for ourselves and our personal life, but shadow functions are what cause us most problems with other people, and I find it worth to study them at least for that matter. ;)
i feel u, once you understand how the ( shadow function ) nemesis,critical,trickster and demon functios affected your life, theres no going back to the simple explanation. i always curios why am i so forgetful and easily loosing my stuff, then i found out that Enfj trickster Si has always been the culprit
ISTP with ISTJ other half. I think the inverse type for thinking feeling to your other half is not a great issue if you are compatible in other ways, if fact mixed types make for a complimentary stack of ways to deal with issues, the trick is to accept that each person has their strengths and weaknesses. For ISTP/ISTJ pairings then we have the advantages of 1) Both wanting space and time to be ourselves. 2) Not being party animals, but enjoying quality time with small groups of friends. 3) Both fairly ascetic in our taste for possessions. Neither of us are big spenders. 4) Both logical thinkers 5) She brings stability and consistency to the home, I bring the ability to deal with unusual situations. 6) We both like the peace of the great outdoors, me to experience the sensations, her to find inner calm. 7) She is great at remembering things, I'm better at proposing new things to try. 8) We can both organise well once we understand the common goal. 9) We can both be very patient to achieve a long term goal. Weaknesses are: 1) It took me time to learn to listen and not jump in with help. I still act before thinking sometimes and it irritates her. 2) Neither of us are driven to improve the other, or willingly accept external help. 3) We are not driven to start new things, possibly through not wanting to voice our desires. (but work really well together when we finally get a project rolling). 4) I will say something that I observed (without judgement), she takes that to be judgement (from me) on whether the observation is good or bad. As she is judgement driven in communication and I am fact driven, it causes confusion sometimes. Overall it's a very comfortable pairing to be in and has worked for over 25 years so far.
@@almondtofu2632 Watch the video again. Frank says that Te types will struggle to be compatible with Ti types, more so if one is Se and the other Si. I'm not convinced by that at all and I think that you have to look at the resultant behaviours of the complete stack to see where compatibility lies, not at individual components.
With your video, I actually think it's good to keep shadow fonctions in mind. We probably use all fonctions at some points, some a lot more than others. When I've realized INFP's "7th fonction" was Se, I thought it would totally make sense. I'm a pro when it comes to wasting my time. But I don't really care about compatibility. Just find someone who loves you as much as you love them, date, marry, and start family if you want and you're happy with each other, then everything's fine. Also, what is this outro ?? I love it.
I understand cognitive functions the way Jung did. So (personally) I don’t use systems such as MBTI because those are heck of a mess that makes little to no sense. I don’t number or label functions. I usually put the 4 ones in a horizontal line and then group 1 and 3 together and 2 and 4. Because that’s the pair one needs to understand - the parts we internalize and the parts we externalize. In my case, Ni and Ti are how I process informations internally and how I get my own sense on inner identity. Fe and Se give me purpose and focus my attention on people and getting things done for others. And I have been thinking about the 8 functions. So far, I have noticed that any function benefits Ni while tends to make the job difficult for Se. The 7th function is the one I oppose. Following authority blindly is not my thing. Doubting and challenging systems in order to make them work better for people is something I tend to do.
Another great educational video 🙌🏻 I feel like what can also cause conflict is sharing a function in the dominant stack with someone but having it at different positions. It’s like “I can understand your function, but you’re using it wrong” 😄
My husband and I are inverse types and are wonderfully happy. But we had been friends for 25 years before we got married and knew our differences extremely well. So, you're right to say you can be happy with any type.
So I kind of dozed off about 37 seconds in, but when I came back to, I thought, awww right, as an ENFP it would be hard to date an INFJ! 😘 Love ya FJ! 💜
Frank, you are the best 😀 My ENFJ friend says i am healing her soul and mind, i say the same for her, and all we do is just talking and listening to each other. But it is time to finally make a video-How an INFP can get married for an ENTJ 😂
I actually think the shadow types are quite important because just as the traits/skills that we do have define us, the traits/skills which we lack define us even further. The real life example I can provide is how my friend and I have ne as our blindspot and we both struggle with doubts and tend to have more black and white logical/emotional conclusions Again this can be defined by both of us having se as our second function, but it can also be -in my opinion- more accurately defined by our lack of ne. I get your point though, the lack of ne is due to having se. This conclusion however leads to some actions being traced back to se even though they would be more accurately described as the lack of ne. I hope I made sense, I did some repetition just in case my point didn't get across.
It's funny because I'm an INFJ and my sister is an ENFP, and we also are opposites when it comes to astrology too. And when it comes to terms of romantic compatibility about every function, when you talked 'bout the hardships of thinking vs. feeling I remembered some people (INTJs) I liked because of the way we could talk about the world and a whole other bunch of things, it was really mind blowing, but when the talk was about feelings over a situation and those things, there was always a fight/misunderstanding because of the feeling and thinking morals we had, hahah.
Thank you so much for explaining this! The shadow types have always confused me. If I recall correctly, in your romantic compatability video you said that the ideal pairings would share the first two letters and have opposite last two letters. In this video though, you implied that ideal pairings also have differing I/E. Is that your current stance? Which one do you prefer?
My rule of thumb is keep the second letter the same and flip everything else. eg. ISTP is more compatible with ESFJ. edit: I accidentally deleted this comment, so this is a copy of the original.
You are correct that I said something along the lines of the most important thing is to flip the last 2 letters. The first two letters are less important. I probably just kept the I/E flip in this video as a way of showing how a slight modification of the Inverse Type makes for a better match--not necessarily the "best"!
Me, INTJ: My Ex-Boyfriend was ENTP. Before we were together everything was fine. We always discussed abstract stuff nobody else cared about or even understood. It was great. But when we got together, the problems began. He never understood my way of handling different emotional problems and so did I with him. Our decision making was actually not possible - we discussed until we both got really angry and neither wanted to agree on the others opinion. So I'm glad we split up, even though he never wanted to accept my decision in this case too xD.
I'm an ENTP and my best friend is an INFJ. My boyfriend is an INTJ. I love both of them, but sometimes I feel like my best friend understands me more. Other times I feel like my boyfriend understands me more. The same goes for me understanding each of them. Of course the understanding is in different ways. With the INFJ its almost telepathic, and we have the same style and we always say the same things at the same time. With the INTJ its like accidental, we arrive at the same decision with different thought processes. We once played rock paper scissors 8 times in a row and kept getting the same exact thing XD As far as dating these types, I guess it depends on the type of ENTP. I don't think I could ever date an INFJ, but I know an ENTP who is dating an INFJ and couldn't be happier! Weird how that works.
INTP dating an ENFJ here. I honestly don't think anyone will understand me better than he does, and vice versa. In media, I get attracted to ENTJs but I feel like in real life I need that ENFJ Fe to grow as a person.
I was just asking myself about the "shadow functions" this week, this video explains a lot, but I think that I have to watch it more times to get it all, just like the video about the cognitive functions...
It's easier than you might think especially if you're intuitive (good at finding patterns) for example you see someone focusing on getting work done with not much regard for values and feelings they're probably either estj or entj cause they have dom Te and inf Fi you just need to learn what each function does. And then train on working out what each type's function stack by their four letter which was taught in the video about cognitive functions. Do that for a while and you'll start seeing them being used around you (or in FJ 16 personality sketches)
thank you for this video! the shadow personalities is what has confused me for the longest time i missed your educational videos haha it's been a while
I think this is a really interesting look at it, but honestly as an INTJ nearly all of my best friends have been ENTPs and some of the worst experiences I've had with people have been ENFPs. Thinking plays a MASSIVE role in how I interact with the world and I REALLY strongly with connecting to and Feeling types at all, and even when I can it's very exhausting and forced and generally not something I want to do all of the time, meaning it's pretty off the table in a relationship. With my shadow type, the relationship feels far more like an actually enjoyable experience because while we have different perspectives on things, our decisions follow the same sort of path while still be interesting since we're approaching the path in opposite ways.
The delivery, jokes, and editing on these videos kills me xD anyway i actually got up to find a video on the topic and by sheer coincidence you uploaded this. thanks for another great vid FJ
back then i don't watch your informative videos because i thought it would be difficult to understand but you actually explain it well and it's easy to digest so yeah thank you i'd probably watch more infomative videos from now
6:05 While I see your viewpoint, I have to disagree: The 8 function model has helped me a great deal in understanding my type, especially in regards to the 7th trickster or PoLR function, which indeed is my least favourite in many ways (I'm INTJ and have Fe trickster). I think it comes down to the 7th function being the inverse of the third function, which doesn't feel right for most people. The third function is like an inner child and wants to play and the 7th function is like this "evil sibling" who is the same in its base but in all the "wrong" ways. Fi as a third function wants to experience emotions by oneself and build their own individual opinion of which values are more important and so on. But Fe on the other hand "betrays" this and orients itself towards the feelings of other people and a general consensus of feeling and harmony which transforms feeling into something like a tool. And since our third function isn't the strongest but quite important to us in a vulnerable way, the inversion of it in form of the trickster function just doesn't sit well with us. So that definitely was an insightful observation about myself I wouldn't have had without studying the shadow functions.
9:16 ENTP and INFJ Makes Even More Sense Now That You Broke It Down Like That. Great Show And Contrat’z On The Bazillionth Subscriber And Thank You For Bringing MBTI To The World.
I think compatibility just comes down to which personality traits you value most, which ones will help you grow, and which types you’re surrounded by growing up. That’s going to be different for every person. For instance, I’m an INFJ with ENFP and ENTP best friends. But I could never date their type - I need someone introverted, highly empathetic, non argumentative, and capable of helping me develop my Se / keeping me grounded. Which is why I’ve been dating my ISFP for almost four years. This is also influenced by me being raised by an INFP and an ISFJ.
Introverted: Check Highly empathetic: to an annoying degree... Non argumentative: I'm very nonconfrontational Capable of helping me develop my Se: I can help! IE- keeping me grounded: oh. As an INFP umm nah, I don't have that ability. For some reason this cracked me up 😂
@@mikayladouglas2503 My mom (my bestie) and one of my other close friends are INFPs! I love you guys!😂❤️ For me, if just helps having someone who can kick me out of my head and look at things from a more practical angle. Especially when it comes to big life decisions and problem solving. But I can definitely see why so many INFJ-INFP relationships thrive ❤️
I think that the most crucial functions are really your primary and auxiliary. That's what determines your type. Or at the very least, you can figure out what your primary function is and figure out your best corresponding function in order to determine the best approximation of what your type would be. For example, when I take an eight functions text, my top three are regularly Ti, Ni and Ne in various orders followed by Fi, while Fe is always last. Based on that I can approximate that I am most like an INTP, though I may share some qualities of INFP and INTJ. When you put all eight functions in a specific order for each type, you're really just making seem more like you're saying that there are literally only 16 types of people. I think the idea on shadow types being most compatible is accurate because you complete eachother without being polar opposites. It's a nice balance. I also couldn't imagine having an ENTJ partner. I'm pretty sure they're the most likely type to say things like "your truth". I can't live with that.
I had no idea my inverse type is ENTP!! I think this is awesome 👌🏽 I get that I want function as a healthy one, but I almost don't care. ENTPs are fun. They're the only ones who are up for a debate/criticism, and don't get their feelings hurt when proven wrong. They challenge my thinking and help me grow. Much love to all the ENTPs out there ❤️--INTJ
I honestly think it depends on the person when it comes to being compatible with your shadow type or not. For exp I as an intj do get along well with entps but not romantically compatible by any means. But I again as an intj am mostly compatible both when it comes to relationships and friendships with infjs.
Hi Frank, love your videos, I am an Enfj and my husband is an Infp and we are perfect for each other as where I am weak, he is strong and visa versa. We are have been together for 28 years.
I have to study more about the other 4 function stack theory, but being an ENFP, I can't understand why Ti is my blind spot and not Se, which I actually would find harder to access. About the shadow types and compatibility... It really depends of what each person of a relationship values what could make a relationship either work or not. I will tell my experiences as an ENFP. I have had friends INFP (all 4 functions equal, 1st and 2nd function swapped), ENTP (1st and 4th equal, 2nd and 3rd complete opposite), INTJ (1st and 4th inversed, 2nd and 3rd equal but in reversed order) and INFJ (Same stack order, inverse attitude, no function in common). With INTJ I can get along very well, and they seem fascinated by my crazy ideas and optimism. However, when the INTJ or me I've been sad, INTJ haven't been able to understand me, or say things with such a lack of tact that I actually need. So, I like them as friends, but I think I would feel stressed sometimes having one of them as my romantic partner, especially when one of both are passing through an emotional crisis. I have known only two ENTP, and they're fun. We can generate together lots of ideas. However, I have noted that their sense of humour can be very different from mine. Also, when doing a project together, we may get distracted a lot. But I hadn't had a discussion with them. INFJ are great. The connection is instantaneous, they are quite supportive and can be surprisingly fun and quirky with an ENFP. Ne and Ni are actually a good combination, however the Ni user can sometimes feels somewhat dizzy by the Ne tending to jump from one topic to another and being somewhat of a motormouth. However, once a disagreement in the realm of feeling occurs, the conflict between Fi and Fe is HUGE. Fi in an XNFP tends to value authenticity and Fe in an XNFJ tends to value harmony. Since I'm also on the autistic spectrum, it's important for me that people verbalize when something I'm doing is bothering them. But the INFJ I have known tend to either be quiet about said issue or rely heavily on cues, which again, I can't grasp almost at all. And when they finally decide to talk, it turns to be similar as an avalanche. It's not pretty. Both end so upset with each other that they may end not talking for months... or either forever. ENFP and INFJ can be a marvelous couple if they can surpass Fi-Fe conflicts. Until now, the best friendships I have had are with INFP. The understanding is high, the quirkiness and fun are always welcome, and the mutual support is huge. Yes, INFP tend to dissappear for so long and sometimes without warning, something ENFP may find in it an issue, but with mutual comprehension, that doesn't turn into a problem. If I had a conflict with INFP, it doesn't last so long, or even it is resolved soon or inmediately. They say there is a problem of mutual growth between a couple of types with differ only in the first letter, but that depends on how healthy both of them are, or if they can access somewhat easily to the third function. For this ENFP, my best compatibility is with INFP. But again, what I have said until now may be different for other ENFP. Another ENFP would prefer an INFJ over an INFP, an INTJ over an INFJ, or even an ENTP.
Just here to say that I'm on team "we use all the functions". Now I don't know if categorizing each spot as something (like critical parent, or blindspot) is necessarily evidence based, but as an INTP, it's not that I don't have my own feelings and values, it's just that I'm not in touch with them as much as I am overwhelmed by other people's feelings and values. So to say that I don't use Fi at all, would probably make me not a whole human. Do I BARELY use Fi? The answer is yes. But it's still there. Deep deep deep deep down, lol! And I probably use my Ti to try to figure the Fi out. I also have to use Te to be a functioning person. I am always interesting in seeing what other people think (and weighing it against my Ti of course). When I'm creating something, I care more about whether I can use it, not as much caring about other people being able to use it. But there are things I have to be concerned about whether or not a creation of mine will be useful to others, for instance, if I was making something to mass produce to sell to the public. It's not my ideal scenario. I'd prefer to create something that just made the most sense to me, not others. But I know that's not realistic if I want to make money.
You're right! Many Ti-doms use Te and/or Fi a fair bit. I agree that some of the very specific 'roles' that some systems assign to the shadow functions are questionable; I think their use is simply a bit more voluntary and varied from individual to individual. That said, I do think there's pretty good reason for the 'blindspot' function to be what it is, and it's something I've fairly consistently found to be a point of weakness or neglect in myself and people of other types. I always recommend that people check out Cognitive Personality Theory for a more nuanced, flexible, and realistic view on how the types use the functions.
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 Cool, I will check out Cognitive Personality Theory. I have seen mention of that a few times recently :) For me, I don't quite understand how Se is my blindspot because I seem to be pretty good at using my body for stuff, good at construction, sports, etc, however, I do tend to spill things pretty easily, so maybe that's where it comes out for me. I have been trying to analyze that and I realized that I don't really physically feel the cup in my hand when I am picking it up and putting it down, unless I am consciously trying to feel the cup in my hand. It is weird. I wonder if, for the most part, living with ourselves for our entire lives causes us to be able to compensate for our blindspot. For instance, maybe I have to work harder at Se, but it's still possible to be good at it when I try/practice/stick with it, etc? My other hypothesis is having some Si might help with Se activities that we've done enough times... like muscle memory?
@@lishayost44 Yeah, I don't think any of this is completely black and white, but it's a common pattern. It's true that we can use different functions to compensate for weaker ones and achieve some similar outcomes, and it's also true that we can develop and improve any function to some extent over time, even the weakest ones. Clumsiness and not feeling very present in the moment or in the physical world are also common characteristics of low-Se people. I think it's also possible that there are some facets of blindspot function use that are easier for us than others, depending on our type, so we might have a limited range of aptitude there. For example, as an INFP, I'm usually good at the kinds of things that ISFPs are good at, probably because it's a closely related type and there's a lot of common ground there. But more ISTP types of things don't tend to come naturally to me, and the Se-dom way of life especially is completely alien to me, and I easily get overwhelmed by Se-doms.
I’m a ENTP and my sister who occurs to be my best friend is a ISFJ, other than that my other friend is INFJ also i wish i could meet some INTP to be friends with but actually i’m fascinated by INTJ… i mean all this types with different cognitions just made grow so much bringing a positive impact with their own cognitions!! my parents are each other’s shadows (ESFJ and ISFP) and they bring so much balance and awareness to each other it’s really beautiful…
I'm an ENTJ and my husband is an INTP. We were made for each other. We fill in for each other. The funny thing is that our oldest two are also INTPs and our youngest are looking like they'll be ESFJ and an ENTJ. Huge differences between the oldest and youngest two!
I just double checked - I’m an INFP and my mom is an ENFJ - when I read the “why’s” for an INFP, she relates to them, and I relate to hers as well. My dad is an ISTJ and I see what you mean about flipping more of the letters to find the right combo!
The I and E inverse can kinda make sense. Like, it creates the social balance. But say... J and P.... yeah it affects decisions as a couple and also what each value alot in more intrinsic serious decisions in a relationship I'm an INFJ. My most healthy relationship has been with ENTJ. kinda prefer J types than Ps as an INFJ
Hi I’m an ENFJ and my INTP partner is definitely an amazing match for me. I will say though that your last point is interesting to me. I have many more INTP’s I know, and I think ENTJ is usually a more stable fit. I am an ENFJ in STEM with a lot of work done on my Ti, so that at least made me familiar with INTP’s and their way of thinking. Although I think your last point is right because the opposite T-F makes for a passionate duo, I actually think that’s more difficult to work out in general. I either hate or love INTP’s and I think it’s gonna be like that for anyone meeting their complete N inverse or S inverse
I disagree about the relationship thing. As an INFJ married to an ENFP, I’m grateful for his Fi and I honestly wouldn’t want to be with someone who also has Fe, I think that would be incredibly stressful and frustrating.
Stressful and frustrating like "this town ain't big enough for the two of us?" Honestly interested in your thought process, as four of us in our family have Fe including myself, and only one has Fi.
You are not alone. Even the equivalent external judging functions (e.g. Te/Te) can cause clashes. Just look at the video "16 personalities interacting with the most similar types" and skip to the ENTJ/ESTJ part. The point is that it all depends on the individuals, for how they want to tell others what to do (either Te or Fe). Out of the 4 quadras, it's not a surprise that ExxJ's would be the group with the most drama.
Idk I like Fe in women, but most Ti with Te interactions are clashes. Even when my mom talked to a Ti customer (probably ISTP or same ESTJ) I could see that Fi inferior is almost ready to explode, I CANNOT imagine healthy relationship with Fi inferior EVER.
I'm an ENFJ and one of my best friends is INFP. I love her dearly but we think and feel so differently on everything that I just don't understand her...and honestly, I don't think she understands me. But we are still good friends.
@@eynta2 How do you think you feel differently? In my case I feel like I care about/have emotions about everything and my best friend doesn't show any emotion other than happy-go-lucky 😩
@@bethrivera867 she is very emotional too. She's stuck in a job that she doesn't like. They take advantage of her. They bully her. I don't know how to help her. My natural personality type is to give advice. Sadly I feel like that's all I do. Advise her all the time. But nothing changes. She won't follow the advice (which is okay...it's her choice)..but then I don't know what to tell her when she complains about her situation. I want to be supportive. But I feel like both of us are frustrated. 😅
Lol! I’m an ISFP and I have 3 close friends who I’ve typed as ESFJ, and they’re usually the ones who can get me out of the house 😂 Inversely, I think I can calm them down when they get get anxious. ESFJ guys seem to be unicorns because I’ve never met one, but I’m sure they’re somewhere. As for an ESTJ being my best romantic match, you’re gonna have to sell me a bit more on that theory because I don’t see it, my dude!
@@anandaalvarez4336 Lol, sounds like someone who would try to boss me around, and that’s a no 😂 Famous last words, tho? Maybe I’ll meet someone and be like, “Oh, he’s so stable and good with money and people, and organized,” And boom, I’m marrying an ESTJ 😂
this kind of makes me want a “16 personalities interact with their shadow types” video lol
1930s
I was literally thinking the same thing!
yes!! That’d be so good!
YASSS KEEP LIKING THIS COMMENT SO HE CAN SEE IT
Yes!!
My older sister's type is my shadow type.
It was quite frustrating growing up together because we both perceived each other's cognitive process as a weakness.
As adults, I've noticed that when we get really stressed out, we tend to "look like" each other's type (probably because we see our own way of problem solving isn't working, so may as well go for the exact opposite). Only problem with that is that we aren't good at using our opposite functions, and just tend to mimic each other's strengths in self-destructive methods.
My son is my shadow type!! The dynamic is so interesting, and we clashed for SO MANY YEARS. We're great now (he's 14), though!
My mom is my shadow type, and given that she's one of the ExTJs, our relationship is still defined by the idea that I have a ton of potential and I'm wasting it for no reason. She gets along way better with my sister, who she at least understands that she doesn't understand.
My 2 daughters are shadow of each other. Together they are a powerhouse! What one lacks, the other excels. There's rarely any competition between them because they so different yet together they can accomplish anything. The older one is INFJ the younger is ENFP.
AKDKQKDNAJA YO Y MI MAMÁ, mi mamá es mi shadow type pero no nos llevamos mal en general, pero tampoco creo que seamos el par perfecto ni mucho menos y la vdd si tenemos bastantes cosas en común ( será mi mamá? :v ) y la amo mucho wajaj xd
@@eynta2 Me and my sister are the same and we definitely have a lot of conflict. However I'll say we have more in common than we don't and usually come back around. We have similar interests, but different ways of percieving them
I'm an INFP and one of my best friends is an ENFJ. We're like a power team when we work together 😂
I’ve been wondering about this, being together with an INTP as an ENFJ and having an INFP best friend. Makes perfectly sense.
I am best friend with an ENFJ and she totally needs to date an INTP
@@ForeverFashionGirl21 yeah I think ENFJs need someone who thinks rationally and helps them sorting out their feelings. I often feel overwhelmed and when I talk to my INTP bf he explains in 1-2 sentences to me that everything is ok and I don’t need to worry xD
Another ENFJ friend of mine is together with an ENTJ, works well too.
I wish your friend that she will find someone soon 🙏🏻
@@ForeverFashionGirl21 I'm an INTP and the ENFJs I know are very traditional but quite introverted for extroverts. I would prefer an ENTJ for practical reasons as I think they would help me with the basic survival skills I'm lacking.
Fellow ENFJ here and I'm think I'll end with a INTP partner too! 😆
@@raqueljustoo Good luck with that 😄
Wow, I actually missed your educational videos so much, Frank! I know it hasn't been that long, but still... 🤷🏻♀️
As an INFP, I’ve unfortunately had lifelong difficulties getting along with ENTJs. They seem to hate me because I slow them down, and I’m too sensitive to their barbs. I can’t imagine dating one. I’ve fallen madly in love with ENFJs though. Fi and Fe can create misunderstandings but can also create a beautiful dynamic. I think the shadow functions are mostly unimportant, but there’s something to it.
so you think not feel, then you are INTP
@Endless Twist it was a joke :)
yeah theres something strange about it because i feel like it should work but entjs are always so cruel and infps are the opposite idk how it works but i think you just need to find a healthy one
Im infp and my dad is entj 😂😂😳
Well said and definitely agree. ENTJ's and my INFP self are better off inhabiting entirely different sections of the planet. As far as Fi and Fe, my boyfriend is an INFJ and while we had some misunderstandings early on, we mostly do have a beautiful dynamic.
I'm infp and my boyfriend is enfj 😂🥰 we both focus on self growth and awareness, it's really nice to have someone that can see my blind spots and vice versa. I think being objective is the key to understanding when dating your shadow type, that and vulnerability. We share the same values, that's a must! It also helps that we are both interested in mbti, understanding why and how we have misunderstood each other has really amped up the intimacy. We've also realized taking time apart to do whatever is a must, we aren't codependent, it's more like being together is so comfortable that we don't realize how much time has gone by. My ability to branch out with ne and his to narrow things down with ni means a never ending expansion and reduction. Like breathing.
"like breathing" uhhh romantic. fellow infp here.
Very inspiring. I’m a fellow INFP
just like me (INFP) and my husband (ENFJ)
I'm an INFP and the person I have a crush on is an ENFJ. Hopefully, that I can end up together with him 🥲🥺
I disagree with this theory from my own experience.
I'm INTP and all people I like or even love are INFP's 😆
I am sensitive (HSP) and a loner (I really like being alone unless I trust you cause then I don't mind and as you might have heard/read INTP's usually trust like 1 to 3 people which are friends and partner)
Why INFP's? Cause we're great at calling each others bullshit and literally arguements never escalate to yelling or anything like that 😅 I just see the logic and If I'm overly logical you can see something I don't see with your feeling and vice versa. INFP's and INTP's tend to be overthinkers so that also helps with the "mutual understanding" part and you both will see each other as funny or cute 😂 Not mean or anything like for overthinking stuff.
Also being with an INFP for a long time isn't a problem which for a geek like me and them also isn't a problem.
One note, this definitely applies to very intelligent INFP's and INTP's. (I don't get along with not-so-smart people at all, not talking about overview, actual intelligence) INFP's are surprisingly very thinking, more than people give them credit for...
I dunno, I personally don't like to be with other thinking people, it's not that enjoyable and kind of boring and I especially hate extraverts. Not that I'm lazy or unsocial, I just don't like having to do those things cause... idk, why, I'm happy with myself and if you can be with me and make me a bit more happy and I can do the same then it's a win win and we don't even have to go anywhere. (I mean, yes, you do have to exercise a bit as a hoooman being and sometimes trips to interesting places but other than that, just nope)
I am just a chill person, I don't want any conflicts and I get no conflicts (or any big ones like with extraverts) with INFP's.
idk other types are too annoying or too boring or just don't understand.
Just speaking from experience here - I'm an INTP married to an ENTJ - we just started as friends and the MOST IMPORTANT thing in our (probably any) relationship is having clear communication. We are aware of our differences and do need to remind each-other from time to time, but we work really well together because we communicate openly. I'm sure it helps that it's almost impossible to offend either of us, so criticism is generally viewed as constructive.
Some examples:
I am generally more focused on doing something the way I think is the 'optimal' way, and he is more eager to just get things done - so when something is urgent, he will remind me that perfection isn't necessarily the goal. When there is no urgency, I'll remind him that finding the best process isn't a waste of time.
He is very good at reading the social dynamic of situations, and finds my disregard for all that a little frustrating sometimes, but more often just amusing. I'm sometimes annoyed by his persistence with things I may see as futile, but generally admire the drive and perseverance he has.
We do have a lot of common interests even though we have a different approach or slightly different values. We both work in the web hosting/building world - he manages a team, and I manage myself. We both like online gaming - He prefers co-op survival, I prefer solo story-based games. We both love D&D - I'll build a world and he'll run games in it.
Basically, my point is, regardless of type, you just have to recognize and respect each-other's strengths and weaknesses, have patience, and offer/accept help when needed.
Where do ENTJs hang out? Beginning to think I'm not an INTP because D&D ain't my thang
@@louisejoel Not quite sure, I met mine in college. To be fair I probably never would have gotten into D&D if it weren't for him, but the experience is 100% dependent on how much you like the people you play with. In general, I really like all the lore/history surrounding events and locations through the various eras and realms... I'm more into story than anything else.
@@narwhalzipan3785 Sure, I think my reason for not being into gaming is that I'm more focused on finding ways to make a living, suppose I've been pushed into my shadow
@@louisejoel Wishing you luck on your journey.
@@narwhalzipan3785 Thank you and ditto. I plan to make pottery and stream on twitch
I'm an INFP and my husband is an ESTJ. Sometimes I feel like he's on a different planet than me. But over time we've developed really good communication and respect for our differences. We just have different ways of viewing the world and interacting with it. Honestly, I feel that our differences bring so much to the relationship because we fill in each other's weak spots. He's ruthlessly organized and such a natural leader so when I need help, he's all too happy to step in. I'm very in touch with my emotions and that of others, so I make him slow down and process things rather than shove it in a little box. It's good to be different!
Congrats for your interaction management!
I love perfect matches. Its beautiful
i think if an infp wants a long term relationship they should marry an estj or an estp
because from personal experience infp and enfj "the most compatible for them" are just for short terms because at first you will feel like you are really connected with each other but as time pass and infp will get burned out by an enfj always being so emotional and that's when problems arise even if the two talk about it at the end it will just be over and over again but an infp can get stuck at this sick relationship, as the enfj will win them over and over again.
@@aoikumina I wouldn't stand estj's insensibility for just any minutes. Maybe estp are more easy to deal with.
I am an INFP and my older sister is ESTJ. We fought a lot when we were kids cause everything i did in her eyes were always wrong, and i couldn't understand what she wanted most of the time. Now that we are more mature as adults, i think we got drastically closer that expected. Somehow we just developed respect for each other's differences, knowing when to use our strengths and when to trust the other to use their strengths. She's the organized go-getter, the one who leads and plans. Meanwhile i'm the laid back one who's flexible enough to participate in her plans and follow her lead. She can get panicked when things don't go her way or when she can't do things she wanted to do, and i'm the one who often say, "it's okay, don't panic. As long as we're calm, we'll be able to think of a way to get through this.". I think it also kinda helps that we have a few similar interests and share some similar thoughts about things. I'm glad she's comfortable enough to share her feelings and thoughts to me. She sometimes ask me about things other people in her life do that she just doesn't understand, and i help unpack the stories and give possible reasons and motives of why people do things they do.
Wow. I'm an INTJ but ENTPs are literally the kinds of people I want to be. Outgoing and charismatic. Incidentally I find ENFPs the most attractive personality so what you said in that regard checks out!
I hate being a entp nobody love me
@@meris2640 wow that's the first time I see an entp say that
@@renarey238 people should love me
@@redpandapowa 🤣
I'd love to be with an ENTP. I'd have an intellectually romantic sparring boyfriend. 😍 -- INTJ
INFJ here currently dating an ENTP. I believe he is the best match for me so far, we get along great and even when we (rarely) argue it's always somewhat pleasant in the end, never so bad we don't talk for days or yell during the conversation, which to me would be terrible, we always talk it out peacefully until we find common ground. We understand each other on a deep level, have great conversations, our needs are always fulfilled and we're just perfect together. I've never been so in love before.
Me too :) It’s really wonderful.
I need to find myself a ENTP partner then 😅😭
I concur!
entp are good for infj's but infj's Ruin us. entp's stay away. they will drain you till you have no more to give and accuse you of abuse if u caint give no more
intj thou.....they give back the love. but entp have to be the ones keeping an eye that both partners have there feelings met. otherwise they get eaten up by "unlogical" emotions. because no one validates them
@@amaterasu5001 in all of my relationships so far I have always been the one that was drained, i'm infj. So I don't think it's generally true that infjs are draining people. You also would have to differentiate if the infj you had a relation with were fully matured or not yet. I can only speak from my experiences so far and I can say I don't know any entps personally
I’m an ENFP who has mostly dated INFPs and INFJs. Although I tend to find it a bit easier to see where INFPs are coming from with stuff, I would say I feel just as compatible or even more compatible with INFJs in general. I feel like there is a lot I can learn from them, and I just generally feel a strong connection with them, find them easy to talk to, and somehow always find my way to them.
exactly the same here
i couldn't agree more
I’m also an ENFP, through and through… ever since I’ve been tested for the first time (longer than 15 years ago), it never changed. Since everything I’ve read/watched about ENFP traits (even the “mean” ones), they always described me on point. I think the multiple stacking method makes some sense; my INFP partner and I have been together for 20 years; we couldn’t be more different from each other, mostly viewed from the outside world. But we do share the same core values, which I think is the building block for having a good relationship. Nonetheless, that could also happen with any other personality type. I was raised by both INTJ parents and my best friend is an INTJ, although other very good friends are also ENFPs (I love them!). My daughter is an INFJ and she’s a puzzle for me; it took another INFJ person to teach me how an INFJ thinks/functions, and all immediately made perfect sense. That doesn’t mean we still don’t have any struggles, but maybe it’s more like a mother/daughter relationship thing…
@@brledoux7989 intj and enfp and infj is perfect pairings
I'm an Enfp who's dating an infj and I totally agree 100%
Polar Functions for Each Type:
ESTJ/ESFJ: Ni
ENTJ/ENFJ: Si
ESTP/ENTP: Fi
ESFP/ENFP: Ti
ISTJ/INTJ: Fe
ISFJ/INFJ: Te
ISTP/ISFP: Ne
INTP/INFP: Se
Isn't the ENTJ an INTP?
@@TheAdhdGardener Yes, INTP is the shadow type of ENTJ, but that's not what this comment is about. Each type is only paired up based on their common polar function and nothing else.
INFJ here, I knew 4 ENTP's and coincidentally, all of them became my crushes. I don't know but I admire them a lot, especially the way how they share their ideas to you.
If I didn't know Frank James type, I would think he was an ENTP.
INFJ here and my brother is actually an ENTP.
@@bellamarie6509 for me He's an ENTP
@@bellamarie6509 actually some people also thought I'm an ENTP
Same, we have enough similar functions to understand each other well but different enough to be curious
dude I'm terrified by this "shadow" thing 😰
For what.
@@SNAPLINKSLLC It's so dark 😱
@@fairyfellermasterstroke drama queen is what I say
Was necessary to tell :/
if only they didn't have so terrifying names
I am an INFP with an ENFJ mother, we get along quite well and have an easy time communicating. But its noticable in our attitudes how different we are. We act really diferently
I agree with your final statement, but I think it's mostly valid for ExxP and IxxJ, who are more balanced judgers. An INFP and an ENTJ may both have Fi and Te but they are in the exact opposite position, so I think that could generate conflict (maybe they will complete each other, but I think it's more likely for ExxP and IxxJ).
Exactly! I’m an INTP and ENFJs drive me insane like no other type can. I’m constantly fighting with the ENFJs in my life because our values are just too opposed. I couldn’t imagine dating an ENFJ.
I was just about to comment this, but you beat me too it lol! The only thing I wanted to add though is that there might be more misunderstanding between INFP's and ENFJ's, which could lead to a lot of conflict, but I think INFP's and ENTJ's would stress each other out a lot more because both of them tend to be over-the-top in the area that stresses the other out the most.
Interesting. I’ve been able to observe an INFP/ENTJ relationship and, honestly, it works perfectly. The people I know both have the same goals and they work together to achieve them. They’re a great team.
I was thinking of that too. Glad I'm not one of those ExxJ/IxxP types for this reason lol.
As an INFP I would never want to be in a relationship with an ENTJ, not that there is anything objectively wrong with the type, I don't even dislike them at all, my boss is one and he and I work great together on the job. That said, although I am very orderly and highly motivated in my job I am a lazy, home-body, potato on my own time, I would drive an extroverted type nuts, especially an ExxJ, and visa-versa.
I'm dating an INTP and that is, IMO, the golden pairing. Ti and Fi aren't all that different and since we have both developed our respective 4th functions decently well Ti-Fe and Fi-Te communicate nicely, and our middle functions are the same. So we have lots of overlapping similarities but just the FvsT difference adds some nice spice in the mix.
He’s like the teacher we needed in school
I agree with you. I keep seeing people calling opposite types “golden pairs” and that doesn’t make any sense to me. As an ISTP, my “golden pair” is supposed to be an ESTJ but from my personal experience they, together with ENTJs, are the types I get along the least. The fact that we don’t have any functions in common makes our ways of navigating life very different. They want to organize things and be productive while I just want to be chill and go with the flow. They’re usually bossy and constantly try to impose their opinions on others while, even tho I don’t always speak up, I’m very strong opinionated and hate being told how to think. They treat rules as sacred entities and get really defensive over them while I only follow what makes sense to me and if I spend a day without questioning things I die. There’s just so much space for conflict, theoretically speaking a relationship with them would be a nightmare.
I never understood it either. Every time that I've hung out with an ESTJ all I've wanted to do was bang their head with a hammer. How the hell am I supposed to be in a romantic relationship with them?
As an INFJ, I've been considering compatible types and curious about ISTP....I am also individuated thinker and self-driver who questions everything, just have high feeling sense connection and empathy....how is the FE for you as an ISTP? We have same functions just arranged differently! I love my Se, but it overwhelms me too....been developing my Se for healthy balance with my Ni.
Well at the end everything depends on the individual I guess. I have an ISTP and ESTJ friend in my circle and they get along very well. The ISTP happily relies on the ESTJs abilities when they are together.
Touché, the way ESTJ have to take control of and judge literally everything in their lives just piss me off so bad
My mom (ESTJ): EVERYTHING matters
Me(ISTP): NOTHING matters
@@daydreamer_asmr I'd say my Fe is OK, I'm trying to improve but it's still uncomfortable and draining everytime I have to use it. Sometimes I end up being unintentionally rude or cold with people I want to get closer and I can't help being blunt in social exchanges. I have a lot of empathy and I'm really understanding but since I feel awkward expressing it people just think i don't care...
My sister is an INFJ too! our personalities and behaviors are very different but we understand eachother well I think
I'm an ENTP married to an INTJ. It generally works out great. But yeah, I can really see how Ti is different from Te.
Great video! I'm an INFJ (I think) and the type I'm most naturally drawn to is definitely an ENTP. One of my best friends in college was an ENTP (based on my typing of her) and my son is an ENTP and we mesh really well both with conversation and senses of humor. I could see how making decisions with him is really easy as well.
I love my INFP daughter as well and she's also great fun, but that dominant Fi and apparent total lack of a thinking function can get exhausting and frustrating to me after a while :)
Pretty sure my husband is an ESTJ and his Te comes in very handy but we think extremely differently and approach problems in completely different ways. The key there is just to respect the other person and give them space for their brain to work their way and we both have that so it still works.
What a couple! I'd never have the guts to. Keep thriving!
Cool Frank, INFJs are my shadow types, must be why I totally get your humor and especially love when you laugh at yourself 🤣 - Your understanding ENFP subscriber
I'm an ENTP my wife of almost 20 years is an INTJ. We have had our 'battles'...lol...but we are perfect for one another. Opposites seem to attract, and we are opposite but we complete each other. Love that woman!
You go boss 🙏💯
Awesome. Plus, as a non native english speaker, I love how you use and provide the definition of uncommon words. Thanks!
As others have mentioned, we all use all of the functions, and acknowledging that only makes the theory more realistic, not less. People are complex, and no, not everything a given person ever does can be explained solely by four functions. Insisting on viewing everything people do solely through the lens of a four-function stack leads to a lot of misunderstandings and actually contributes a lot to mistyping, as people not only use the 'shadow functions' but can actually be very good with some of them! And people will actually mistype people based on seeing them use one of their shadow functions well! I've seen it happen many times.
Sure you may be able to use all the functions, but wouldn’t the Beebe Stack be more limiting? It even has a function that is the ‘blindspot’ and the ‘demon’. This might be because I’m more of a Jungian psychological types fan, but feeling is still feeling, intuition is still intuition, sensing is still sensing, and thinking is still thinking. I believe that having very broad types is good (functions (f/t/s/n) without clear attitudes (e/i) can exist), even Jung said that every individual is an exception. Now you are free to not agree with me, you may think that Jung is too old, and that’s okay, we can agree to have different opinions, I just want to show you another option incase you might like it. I think that Beebe is a cool guy and he has researched the theory a lot
@@The_Rusalka I prefer Cognitive Personality Theory myself, which is actually the least 'limiting' out of all these systems. It's not about having more limitations, it's about having more nuance and more recognition of people's complexity and ability to use functions in ways that go beyond the four-function stack ascribed to any given type. There's actually more flexibility, fewer limitations, and IMO just an overall more true-to-life portrayal of how people really operate here.
I do not use Fi and my Fe is very shy. I cannot be mad on a person for longer than 3 days, Ti will find any excuse of hating me. I do not value Se, I could use it when drunk, but Se and Ne are no different to me (do first, think later).
A timid INFP here who finally decided to post something😅. Great video FJ, very intriguing! I'd be interested to hear some answers to some questions I've been thinking about recently. How does being an ambivert affect personality and specifically the cognitive functions (I get ambiverts aren't really a MBTI thing, but still)? Can personality change over time due to experience, trauma, etc (especially with extrovert/introvert)? And do certain mental or medical conditions alter personality (Depression, anxiety, autism, etc)? Thanks for the videos and congratulations on a million subscribers!
Hii
I'm an INFP and I've had the same questions!!
Woah. I too have the same questions. I'm also thinking about why I'm having trouble guessing the MBTI types of 2 of my friends. The confusion is whether they are S/N type. They seem to have both T and F too. Maybe I need to understand the cognitive functions better so that I'll be able to place them under a particular type.
Social introversion/extroversion is likely based on a persons sensitivity to outside impulses. It's a scale, where you can be an ambivert if you're closer to the middle. However the cognitive functions in your stack are not on a scale, they are rigid, and also are not connected to the social extroversion. Despite this, it seems there is a correlation between the two: The less extroverted you are the more likely you'll prefer an introverted function as the dominant and vica versa. I believe social extroversion has an effect in this sense on developing one's function preferences, after all, if you prefer being alone, you're more likely spend time introspecting, then others who like to spend more time with people and being in situations with more outside stimuli.
It's also worth to note that social anxiety plays a role in a persons self-assessment about their introversion. An extroverted person (usually when younger) can feel like they are an introvert for having anxiety from negative outside forces. More than likely this phase will pass after some years and they'll find their true selves.
The functions in your stack are your preferences, they describe how you like to think, what you value the most in decision-making and processing facts/ideas. Everyone has every function, but it differs how comfortable they are with each. If you are using a function in one direction, say the feeling function introvertedly (Fi), then you won't use feeling in the extroverted direction, because they are filling the same role just in different ways. It's like if there are two approaches to a task, and you are comfortable with one, then you won't want to use the other, just if really necessary. Other functions in your stack are filling different roles, so in the end, you'll have to use (and learn to use) all 4 of them to live as a functional person. Not using shadow functions likely won't cause you troubles, on the other hand, not using the lower functions in your stack will. Still, it's worth to recognise the shadow functions to understand people who might use them and accept their way of thinking.
Since people's relationship with the functions is preference-based, and considering those preferences have been developing since birth, it's very unlikely that someone's function stack will change after growing up. However, yes, if you experience something life-changing (usually negative), like a really heavy trauma or similar things that mess with your brain permanently, then it's not surprising if your personality changes with it.
These are my thoughts on this, I hope it helped.
I'm going to have to watch one of Frank's videos again on the functions, I am so confused. The shadow thing I didn't know was 'a thing' and I'm so glad Frank nixed that theory, whew! As always you just make me smile, laugh and feel good FJ. Loved your live Saturday. I'm so happy for you both ❤️
Don't be glad Frank nixed the theory. It's a great theory, and just because he doesn't believe in it doesn't mean you shouldn't. I love Frank, but I do disagree with him on this one because I can actively see the way my blind Te works. Interestingly, this can be shown by function tests. Online MBTI tests such as Sakinorva show for me at least that my Te is the weakest, and it's my seventh function. It all makes perfect sense to me, and it might to you too if you give it a chance.
P.S: I don't really recommend online tests in general, but they do show this very interesting fact.
@@milesyeet181 I took the Sakinorva test as well and got INFP. Yet, my Te only scored 8 points, while everything else was 24-35. It's hard to know if Te is so low because its my inferior and I just naturally want to reject it, so it scores low, or if I'm a INFJ and it's actually my trickster.
My Fi/Fe were my highest, followed Ne/Si/Ni all being close in the middle. Just goes to show that a test can still give mixed results. You need to explore it more deeply on your own.
And yes, I also agree that the shadow functions exist. Our brains are too complex to have it limited to just 4 functions.
You both???!! Hes getting married?!
@@benjaminfast5496 Oh yeah I should have clarified! My inferior was the lowest and then my Te was the lowest. I didn't want to admit it, but my Se point scored as 4.
4 for Se is a little embarrassing, I promise I go outside sometimes. But, it's true, the tests are super weird because they can never accurately know a person. People that are good at typing are so much better than tests, and I'm happy that you agree with me on shadow functions.
@@milesyeet181 Oh, that's really interesting! Because I've been feeling like I'm an INFP for a while, and I hold little to no value to Te, except when it makes sense (like signally before changing lanes while driving, because in failing to follow that rule could result in an accident, and potentially injuries.) However, what is SO urgent that I can't go over my coffee break time for 1 or 2 minutes. Is the world going to end?
That's interesting that your inferior scored the lowest as well, even above the other shadow functions (which do exist, lol.) It just goes to show that we are cognitive of what we value and reject, and though we may see how our inferior function plays a role in our lives, we despise it and therefore don't want to associate ourselves to it on tests.
I love talking about this stuff, so thanks for the reply. Cheers!
Very interesting. I'm an INFJ and my partner is an ENFP. We are similar in many ways and usually communicate well but sometimes there's little conflict and he gets on my nerves. 😅 Love your videos Frank!
as an ENFP, I love the conflicts that I had with INFJ. Really hard to describe. The conflict felt so irritating but also feels like it's happening because the connection is so deep not because the INFJs are annoying.
Same, Im an INFJ and my partner is ENFP. He's so fun I love it but at the same time he's really really annoying 😂 but I get annoyed quickly so can't blame him totally. But I love him to death!
ENTP here. I have an ISTP husband, an INTJ teenage son, a preteen ESFJ daughter, and a preteen ENTP mini-me daughter (which is HILARIOUS, btw). I get along the BEST, friendship wise, with my INTJ son and clash the most with my ESFJ daughter. Granted, it's all anecdotal, but it's super interesting to observe and analyze. We also are all adhd/autistic. THAT has been fun: seeing how neurodivergence plays out with cognitive functions. Let me know if you ever want to do a video on that; I've got tons of insight.
I'm an Intj with adhd/autism.
And your idea is brilliant.
Great video Frank, I would just add that I'm a INFJ and my husband is a ESTP and he's my best friend in the entire world, we understand each other to the core, in fact I don't think I've ever had anyone else including my parents and siblings who have understood me as deeply as my ESTP husband does, I know we have helped each other strengthen our 4th function since I need help with my SE and he needs help with his NI and it's the other ones top function so it can work out wonderfully with your shadow or duel type, it just takes a lot of communication, understanding and of course love with any type, we just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary and have been together for 13 years and I can say we are both better people for being together 😊 thank you for all of your videos. Great job.
Video suggestion: MBTI SubTypes
What do you think about them? Are they FJ approved?
I especially wonder if INTP Ti-Si jumper/subtype is fake or not
“Jumpers” aren’t subtypes, nor do they need to be. They are a more convoluted explanation that both middle functions are really “auxiliary” and under some circumstances the type’s “shadow auxiliary” function may be in the dominant attitude. Or maybe this isn’t any more straightforward.
The way you break it down makes so much sense! while my ENFP husband and I, the INFJ don't always "get" each other, the love is always there. It takes so much effort, but it's worth it to be with each other.
5:30
INTJ trigger mechanism activate!
I think it is important to keep the shadow because otherwise it implies that a type has only one orientation of a function which doesn't make sense especially considering the fact that reality conditions us to use all functions all the time which points towards us having not only one orientation but both. The difference then remains only in terms of strength and accessibility which makes the shadow functions to make sense in that they are harder to access and weaker because of the lack of ability to access them consciously but only when special situations are present in reality. In that way the shadow functions represent a less accessible side of the self that's not entirely in one's control but can became more conscious over time which is the point of why they are the shadow in the first place. Because they are kept unconscious and they are not recognized in order to became conscious like the domminant stack.
The domminant stack, on the other hand, represents only a small side of us which is our perception of ourselves or the ego. In that way it is erroneous to look at a type only in terms of their front cover that they project which is the ego, because the back part which is the shadow, is also part of them and can't be separated from the individual and the type. And as such, they are both important when we are talking about a type as they are part of it.
Without the shadow functions, there is no sense of balance - nothing on the other end of the teeter totter.
I'm an INFP, and there is no doubt that I'm an Fi dom, but my shadow Fe is definitely existant. I don't use it to make my decisions, but I use it to understand other people's decisions. The weaker my conscious functions, the less I can even conceptulize the corresponding shadow function though.
I almost wonder if FJ is reacting to how woo-woo this level of teaching can get. I’m with you that I clearly have the ability to experience life on all these functions in both directions, but I’m not sure whether that’s what he’s denying.
There have been too many times where I’m utterly stumped trying to make sense of another person’s experience no matter how much I want to understand them for me to fully disagree with him. If I could process life their way in my unconscious, wouldn’t I have an easier time grasping what makes them tick?
I wasn’t even surprised to learn I had chosen a romantic partner who has the same cognitive orientation axis, they’re just in radically different alignment (INTJ/ISFP)
Thank you!
Eh I think it's probably better to think of these functions as less concrete blocks and more of a spectrum. To be one type or another you exist further down one side of each spectrum, but in reality it's still a spectrum.
Also contrary to what MBTI people will tell you I believe it's generally possible to change your position on those spectra. Not a full swing from say Ni to Ne, but if you consider the position on the spectrum you are at a given time your thoughts may be 90% Ni and 10% Ne, but after self reflection and deliberate action you may be 85% Ni and 15% Ne or so on. The extent of the possible change is probably limited but it is possible to become more aware of the otherside of the conversation and become more temperate an individual.
I'm an INFJ and my little sister is an ENFP. We obviously argue sometimes, but I feel like we work great together. Being the youngest two in our family (not biologically, families are weird) we're often times put grouped together and when we're not fighting over usually stupid things, we make a great duo! And I think we sometimes scare people!
Sorry to add something here. As INFP, I can get along with all of diplomats. But don't know them all. Somehow, they are nice. But I am scared. Only to realize they actually want to protect me. Tbh, only infj sister that can smack down ENFP brothers for being super annoying. So I agree with you. Only INFJ that can do this and make ENFP stfu or afraid for real. It's like a whale shut down a dolphin. Yes, super scare with all of diplomats especially unhealthy one.
I'm dating an ISTJ and I don't think we've even had an argument yet. We will eventually since it happens to everyone, but I think we get along really well -INFJ
I'm ENTJ and my twin sister is INFP...(we get along most of the time, but our arguments are pretty strong lmao) Also 2/4 of our friends are also INFP
Thats interesting. -ENTJ
Ooh nice, a fellow twin! Although we are not shadow pairs, I am an infp (I think?) with a twin brother who is an isfp. Our Fi’s clash sometimes- which can be annoying- but other than that it’s great. We’re both not afraid to be weird around each other and often laugh and joke around, but sometimes it’s hard to have an in-depth conversation with him because he tends to zone out and get bored, lol. As a sensor he prefers more concrete topics. But hey, I wouldn’t trade him for the world
I like how you explain this, and I totally agree with the last part, but I disagree that it isn't helpful for personal development; that might have something to do with age though.
My understanding is the 7th function is the weakest function because it is opposite of the child function (3rd). If you think about it, if you are using the 3rd function like a child, it's unlikely you can do anything with the 7th, or even know it's there.
I'm an INFP and I am finding as I get older the 4th function, although inferior to the 1st, is becoming way more accessible than it was in my 20's and 30's. With it (because thinking is thinking) the cold hard logic of Ti shows up in extremely stressful situations as logically dissecting all my Fi beliefs- I sort of deconstruct myself (demon Ti).
Ti has turned out to be even a harsher critic than Te ever was, but with it, I've gained clarity on my beliefs.
Just my take on this.
It's the weakest function because it's opposed by both of the middle functions at once. Se is in a sense 'the opposite' of Si and also 'the opposite' of Ne, the extroverted function the INFP most prefers to use.
I think it's also the weakest because it's the opposite "class" as your dominate function (i.e. If you use a dominate judging function, you're 7th function would be a perceiving function). On top of this, it's the opposite to you're preferred method of judging/percieving (so ENFJ's normally prefer intuition for percieving, but their 7th function is Si). Furthermore, it's also the opposite direction as your dominate (i.e. introverted vs extraverted). So, if you add all that up, you get a whole mess of confusion lol
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 that makes sense
ISTJ: every crucial turning point in my life was about NI, I think "transformative" is truly THE word for the 8th function.
That makes a lot of sense, Miriam. I would never tell someone to stop using something they have found helpful!
Now make a sketch of the 16P interacting with their shadow types, might be interesting to watch.
I am an intj and am recently starting to behave like an entp so this really helped me figure things out
This makes a lot sense. Thanks for explaining this topic.
HEY FJ!!! You should start doing sketches on “Shadow” types. It could be about the dynamic/relationship between the two types within. 🤪
He did do this one :) it's one where the two types (main vs shadow) interact lol. Pretty funny honestly
ruclips.net/video/XxybKjwX4S0/видео.html
"The 16 personalities interacting with their shadow type"
I agree. I think that would make a great sketch.
I suggested this weeks back. I second this!
As an ENFJ, INFPs are my favourite type, I'm friends with so many of them and I love them to bits. So I've always said I'd love to date an INFP. But I've also fallen for an INTP, but I was skeptical if we'd actually be compatible. But it was nice to draw out more of my Ti by talking to them. From what I've seen of my INFP friends, I could never imagine them with ENTJs...
i used to be INFJ until recently, a lot of things happened in my life and im like a completely different person. i recently took the test again and apparently im an ENFP! i turned into my shadow type i guess? 😂
Or rather, you were an ENFP all along but you were forced to predominantly use your shadow functions in a stressful environment? In any case interesting
Well yeah I was used to be info but due to some changes I turned to enfj and then to enfp
@@Four-24Jake very interesting observation, i also have had a past with did and such so it might be partly that as well
I seem to fluctuate between entp and intp. It's a little strange really. I guess it's because I'm an ambivert? That's the only thing I can guess currently
Obstacles are worth it. Infact inverse types in relationship, if involves open communication and understanding, can actually help eachother's to improve their shadow functions. Shadow functions are not to be overlooked, a person has access to every cognitive functions and the shadow types are your weakest, improving them can be beneficial.
The moment I stepped into shadow functions theory I would never come back to "only 4 functions", cause 8-function models explain much more than MBTI to me. Although I respect that FJ wants to keep things simpler and he enjoys it here, but for me, after going that deep, simpler models seem too shallow, I can't help it. In my opinion, our Dom-Inf dynamic is causing most problems for ourselves and our personal life, but shadow functions are what cause us most problems with other people, and I find it worth to study them at least for that matter. ;)
i feel u, once you understand how the ( shadow function ) nemesis,critical,trickster and demon functios affected your life, theres no going back to the simple explanation.
i always curios why am i so forgetful and easily loosing my stuff, then i found out that Enfj trickster Si has always been the culprit
TY FOR TELLING ME/US :D
I am an INFJ and I am attracted to both ENFP and ENTP, but now I know which one is better for me ))
ISTP with ISTJ other half. I think the inverse type for thinking feeling to your other half is not a great issue if you are compatible in other ways, if fact mixed types make for a complimentary stack of ways to deal with issues, the trick is to accept that each person has their strengths and weaknesses.
For ISTP/ISTJ pairings then we have the advantages of
1) Both wanting space and time to be ourselves.
2) Not being party animals, but enjoying quality time with small groups of friends.
3) Both fairly ascetic in our taste for possessions. Neither of us are big spenders.
4) Both logical thinkers
5) She brings stability and consistency to the home, I bring the ability to deal with unusual situations.
6) We both like the peace of the great outdoors, me to experience the sensations, her to find inner calm.
7) She is great at remembering things, I'm better at proposing new things to try.
8) We can both organise well once we understand the common goal.
9) We can both be very patient to achieve a long term goal.
Weaknesses are:
1) It took me time to learn to listen and not jump in with help. I still act before thinking sometimes and it irritates her.
2) Neither of us are driven to improve the other, or willingly accept external help.
3) We are not driven to start new things, possibly through not wanting to voice our desires. (but work really well together when we finally get a project rolling).
4) I will say something that I observed (without judgement), she takes that to be judgement (from me) on whether the observation is good or bad. As she is judgement driven in communication and I am fact driven, it causes confusion sometimes.
Overall it's a very comfortable pairing to be in and has worked for over 25 years so far.
ISTP/ISTJ isn’t inverse type tho😂😂
@@almondtofu2632 Watch the video again. Frank says that Te types will struggle to be compatible with Ti types, more so if one is Se and the other Si. I'm not convinced by that at all and I think that you have to look at the resultant behaviours of the complete stack to see where compatibility lies, not at individual components.
Wow ISTP and ISTJ sounds like such a good pairing
As an ENFJ, thank you for explaining this in my function!😊
The way you explain is SOO GOOD!
Ahhh, this explains why I - INFJ - get on so well with my son - ENFP.
With your video, I actually think it's good to keep shadow fonctions in mind.
We probably use all fonctions at some points, some a lot more than others.
When I've realized INFP's "7th fonction" was Se, I thought it would totally make sense. I'm a pro when it comes to wasting my time.
But I don't really care about compatibility. Just find someone who loves you as much as you love them, date, marry, and start family if you want and you're happy with each other, then everything's fine.
Also, what is this outro ?? I love it.
I understand cognitive functions the way Jung did. So (personally) I don’t use systems such as MBTI because those are heck of a mess that makes little to no sense. I don’t number or label functions. I usually put the 4 ones in a horizontal line and then group 1 and 3 together and 2 and 4. Because that’s the pair one needs to understand - the parts we internalize and the parts we externalize. In my case, Ni and Ti are how I process informations internally and how I get my own sense on inner identity. Fe and Se give me purpose and focus my attention on people and getting things done for others. And I have been thinking about the 8 functions. So far, I have noticed that any function benefits Ni while tends to make the job difficult for Se. The 7th function is the one I oppose. Following authority blindly is not my thing. Doubting and challenging systems in order to make them work better for people is something I tend to do.
Another great educational video 🙌🏻
I feel like what can also cause conflict is sharing a function in the dominant stack with someone but having it at different positions. It’s like “I can understand your function, but you’re using it wrong” 😄
My husband and I are inverse types and are wonderfully happy. But we had been friends for 25 years before we got married and knew our differences extremely well. So, you're right to say you can be happy with any type.
So I kind of dozed off about 37 seconds in, but when I came back to, I thought, awww right, as an ENFP it would be hard to date an INFJ! 😘 Love ya FJ! 💜
Frank, you are the best 😀 My ENFJ friend says i am healing her soul and mind, i say the same for her, and all we do is just talking and listening to each other. But it is time to finally make a video-How an INFP can get married for an ENTJ 😂
I like the new approach, FJ! Serious and clear, but still fun!
I actually think the shadow types are quite important because just as the traits/skills that we do have define us, the traits/skills which we lack define us even further.
The real life example I can provide is how my friend and I have ne as our blindspot and we both struggle with doubts and tend to have more black and white logical/emotional conclusions
Again this can be defined by both of us having se as our second function, but it can also be -in my opinion- more accurately defined by our lack of ne.
I get your point though, the lack of ne is due to having se. This conclusion however leads to some actions being traced back to se even though they would be more accurately described as the lack of ne.
I hope I made sense, I did some repetition just in case my point didn't get across.
It's funny because I'm an INFJ and my sister is an ENFP, and we also are opposites when it comes to astrology too. And when it comes to terms of romantic compatibility about every function, when you talked 'bout the hardships of thinking vs. feeling I remembered some people (INTJs) I liked because of the way we could talk about the world and a whole other bunch of things, it was really mind blowing, but when the talk was about feelings over a situation and those things, there was always a fight/misunderstanding because of the feeling and thinking morals we had, hahah.
Wow, Frank Jame’s Theory lines up really well because I’m an INFP whose married to an ENTJ and whose closest friend is an ENFJ.
Thank you so much for explaining this! The shadow types have always confused me.
If I recall correctly, in your romantic compatability video you said that the ideal pairings would share the first two letters and have opposite last two letters. In this video though, you implied that ideal pairings also have differing I/E. Is that your current stance? Which one do you prefer?
My rule of thumb is keep the second letter the same and flip everything else.
eg. ISTP is more compatible with ESFJ.
edit: I accidentally deleted this comment, so this is a copy of the original.
@@blujay547 Misread your comment, but it does check out. That would make ENFP and INTJ well compatible, which in my experience rings quite true.
@@Syrxen I agree. I’m an ENFP and I get along well (and understand) TeNi/NiTe, but I struggle with high Fe because high Fe puts me on guard.
You are correct that I said something along the lines of the most important thing is to flip the last 2 letters. The first two letters are less important. I probably just kept the I/E flip in this video as a way of showing how a slight modification of the Inverse Type makes for a better match--not necessarily the "best"!
@@FrankJames Thank you so much!
Me, INTJ: My Ex-Boyfriend was ENTP. Before we were together everything was fine. We always discussed abstract stuff nobody else cared about or even understood. It was great. But when we got together, the problems began. He never understood my way of handling different emotional problems and so did I with him. Our decision making was actually not possible - we discussed until we both got really angry and neither wanted to agree on the others opinion. So I'm glad we split up, even though he never wanted to accept my decision in this case too xD.
I'm an ENTP and my best friend is an INFJ. My boyfriend is an INTJ. I love both of them, but sometimes I feel like my best friend understands me more. Other times I feel like my boyfriend understands me more. The same goes for me understanding each of them. Of course the understanding is in different ways. With the INFJ its almost telepathic, and we have the same style and we always say the same things at the same time. With the INTJ its like accidental, we arrive at the same decision with different thought processes. We once played rock paper scissors 8 times in a row and kept getting the same exact thing XD
As far as dating these types, I guess it depends on the type of ENTP. I don't think I could ever date an INFJ, but I know an ENTP who is dating an INFJ and couldn't be happier! Weird how that works.
INTP dating an ENFJ here. I honestly don't think anyone will understand me better than he does, and vice versa. In media, I get attracted to ENTJs but I feel like in real life I need that ENFJ Fe to grow as a person.
I was just asking myself about the "shadow functions" this week, this video explains a lot, but I think that I have to watch it more times to get it all, just like the video about the cognitive functions...
It's easier than you might think especially if you're intuitive (good at finding patterns) for example you see someone focusing on getting work done with not much regard for values and feelings they're probably either estj or entj cause they have dom Te and inf Fi you just need to learn what each function does. And then train on working out what each type's function stack by their four letter which was taught in the video about cognitive functions. Do that for a while and you'll start seeing them being used around you (or in FJ 16 personality sketches)
thank you for this video! the shadow personalities is what has confused me for the longest time
i missed your educational videos haha it's been a while
I think this is a really interesting look at it, but honestly as an INTJ nearly all of my best friends have been ENTPs and some of the worst experiences I've had with people have been ENFPs. Thinking plays a MASSIVE role in how I interact with the world and I REALLY strongly with connecting to and Feeling types at all, and even when I can it's very exhausting and forced and generally not something I want to do all of the time, meaning it's pretty off the table in a relationship. With my shadow type, the relationship feels far more like an actually enjoyable experience because while we have different perspectives on things, our decisions follow the same sort of path while still be interesting since we're approaching the path in opposite ways.
The delivery, jokes, and editing on these videos kills me xD anyway i actually got up to find a video on the topic and by sheer coincidence you uploaded this. thanks for another great vid FJ
back then i don't watch your informative videos because i thought it would be difficult to understand but you actually explain it well and it's easy to digest so yeah thank you i'd probably watch more infomative videos from now
thanks!
6:05 While I see your viewpoint, I have to disagree: The 8 function model has helped me a great deal in understanding my type, especially in regards to the 7th trickster or PoLR function, which indeed is my least favourite in many ways (I'm INTJ and have Fe trickster).
I think it comes down to the 7th function being the inverse of the third function, which doesn't feel right for most people. The third function is like an inner child and wants to play and the 7th function is like this "evil sibling" who is the same in its base but in all the "wrong" ways.
Fi as a third function wants to experience emotions by oneself and build their own individual opinion of which values are more important and so on. But Fe on the other hand "betrays" this and orients itself towards the feelings of other people and a general consensus of feeling and harmony which transforms feeling into something like a tool. And since our third function isn't the strongest but quite important to us in a vulnerable way, the inversion of it in form of the trickster function just doesn't sit well with us.
So that definitely was an insightful observation about myself I wouldn't have had without studying the shadow functions.
Same, agreed!
Love the outro. Getting more simple each time.
Such a nice fellow explaining some thing that is not common because we requested it of him.
Then explains to us why this is so.👏👏👏👏👏
YES, I've been waiting for this!! 😀
9:16 ENTP and INFJ Makes Even More Sense Now That You Broke It Down Like That. Great Show And Contrat’z On The Bazillionth Subscriber And Thank You For Bringing MBTI To The World.
I think compatibility just comes down to which personality traits you value most, which ones will help you grow, and which types you’re surrounded by growing up. That’s going to be different for every person.
For instance, I’m an INFJ with ENFP and ENTP best friends. But I could never date their type - I need someone introverted, highly empathetic, non argumentative, and capable of helping me develop my Se / keeping me grounded. Which is why I’ve been dating my ISFP for almost four years. This is also influenced by me being raised by an INFP and an ISFJ.
Nice
Introverted: Check
Highly empathetic: to an annoying degree...
Non argumentative: I'm very nonconfrontational
Capable of helping me develop my Se: I can help!
IE- keeping me grounded: oh. As an INFP umm nah, I don't have that ability.
For some reason this cracked me up 😂
Well said. You took the thoughts out of my 🧠:)
@@mikayladouglas2503 My mom (my bestie) and one of my other close friends are INFPs! I love you guys!😂❤️ For me, if just helps having someone who can kick me out of my head and look at things from a more practical angle. Especially when it comes to big life decisions and problem solving. But I can definitely see why so many INFJ-INFP relationships thrive ❤️
Thank you! I've been looking for this for ages!
I think that the most crucial functions are really your primary and auxiliary. That's what determines your type. Or at the very least, you can figure out what your primary function is and figure out your best corresponding function in order to determine the best approximation of what your type would be.
For example, when I take an eight functions text, my top three are regularly Ti, Ni and Ne in various orders followed by Fi, while Fe is always last. Based on that I can approximate that I am most like an INTP, though I may share some qualities of INFP and INTJ. When you put all eight functions in a specific order for each type, you're really just making seem more like you're saying that there are literally only 16 types of people.
I think the idea on shadow types being most compatible is accurate because you complete eachother without being polar opposites. It's a nice balance. I also couldn't imagine having an ENTJ partner. I'm pretty sure they're the most likely type to say things like "your truth". I can't live with that.
Me (enfp) and my sister (infj) are each other’s shadow type…this explains a lot.
I had no idea my inverse type is ENTP!! I think this is awesome 👌🏽 I get that I want function as a healthy one, but I almost don't care. ENTPs are fun. They're the only ones who are up for a debate/criticism, and don't get their feelings hurt when proven wrong. They challenge my thinking and help me grow. Much love to all the ENTPs out there ❤️--INTJ
Yes, I think as an INFJ I noticed that I like the way ENTP handles things and their train of thoughts.
I honestly think it depends on the person when it comes to being compatible with your shadow type or not. For exp I as an intj do get along well with entps but not romantically compatible by any means. But I again as an intj am mostly compatible both when it comes to relationships and friendships with infjs.
Hi Frank, love your videos, I am an Enfj and my husband is an Infp and we are perfect for each other as where I am weak, he is strong and visa versa. We are have been together for 28 years.
I have to study more about the other 4 function stack theory, but being an ENFP, I can't understand why Ti is my blind spot and not Se, which I actually would find harder to access.
About the shadow types and compatibility... It really depends of what each person of a relationship values what could make a relationship either work or not. I will tell my experiences as an ENFP.
I have had friends INFP (all 4 functions equal, 1st and 2nd function swapped), ENTP (1st and 4th equal, 2nd and 3rd complete opposite), INTJ (1st and 4th inversed, 2nd and 3rd equal but in reversed order) and INFJ (Same stack order, inverse attitude, no function in common).
With INTJ I can get along very well, and they seem fascinated by my crazy ideas and optimism. However, when the INTJ or me I've been sad, INTJ haven't been able to understand me, or say things with such a lack of tact that I actually need. So, I like them as friends, but I think I would feel stressed sometimes having one of them as my romantic partner, especially when one of both are passing through an emotional crisis.
I have known only two ENTP, and they're fun. We can generate together lots of ideas. However, I have noted that their sense of humour can be very different from mine. Also, when doing a project together, we may get distracted a lot. But I hadn't had a discussion with them.
INFJ are great. The connection is instantaneous, they are quite supportive and can be surprisingly fun and quirky with an ENFP. Ne and Ni are actually a good combination, however the Ni user can sometimes feels somewhat dizzy by the Ne tending to jump from one topic to another and being somewhat of a motormouth. However, once a disagreement in the realm of feeling occurs, the conflict between Fi and Fe is HUGE. Fi in an XNFP tends to value authenticity and Fe in an XNFJ tends to value harmony. Since I'm also on the autistic spectrum, it's important for me that people verbalize when something I'm doing is bothering them. But the INFJ I have known tend to either be quiet about said issue or rely heavily on cues, which again, I can't grasp almost at all. And when they finally decide to talk, it turns to be similar as an avalanche. It's not pretty. Both end so upset with each other that they may end not talking for months... or either forever. ENFP and INFJ can be a marvelous couple if they can surpass Fi-Fe conflicts.
Until now, the best friendships I have had are with INFP. The understanding is high, the quirkiness and fun are always welcome, and the mutual support is huge. Yes, INFP tend to dissappear for so long and sometimes without warning, something ENFP may find in it an issue, but with mutual comprehension, that doesn't turn into a problem. If I had a conflict with INFP, it doesn't last so long, or even it is resolved soon or inmediately. They say there is a problem of mutual growth between a couple of types with differ only in the first letter, but that depends on how healthy both of them are, or if they can access somewhat easily to the third function. For this ENFP, my best compatibility is with INFP.
But again, what I have said until now may be different for other ENFP. Another ENFP would prefer an INFJ over an INFP, an INTJ over an INFJ, or even an ENTP.
INTJ with ISFJ partner. I actually like them a lot better than other NT types because I actually feel like I'm at home and not talking to a coworker.
Just here to say that I'm on team "we use all the functions". Now I don't know if categorizing each spot as something (like critical parent, or blindspot) is necessarily evidence based, but as an INTP, it's not that I don't have my own feelings and values, it's just that I'm not in touch with them as much as I am overwhelmed by other people's feelings and values. So to say that I don't use Fi at all, would probably make me not a whole human. Do I BARELY use Fi? The answer is yes. But it's still there. Deep deep deep deep down, lol! And I probably use my Ti to try to figure the Fi out.
I also have to use Te to be a functioning person. I am always interesting in seeing what other people think (and weighing it against my Ti of course). When I'm creating something, I care more about whether I can use it, not as much caring about other people being able to use it. But there are things I have to be concerned about whether or not a creation of mine will be useful to others, for instance, if I was making something to mass produce to sell to the public. It's not my ideal scenario. I'd prefer to create something that just made the most sense to me, not others. But I know that's not realistic if I want to make money.
You're right! Many Ti-doms use Te and/or Fi a fair bit. I agree that some of the very specific 'roles' that some systems assign to the shadow functions are questionable; I think their use is simply a bit more voluntary and varied from individual to individual. That said, I do think there's pretty good reason for the 'blindspot' function to be what it is, and it's something I've fairly consistently found to be a point of weakness or neglect in myself and people of other types.
I always recommend that people check out Cognitive Personality Theory for a more nuanced, flexible, and realistic view on how the types use the functions.
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 Cool, I will check out Cognitive Personality Theory. I have seen mention of that a few times recently :)
For me, I don't quite understand how Se is my blindspot because I seem to be pretty good at using my body for stuff, good at construction, sports, etc, however, I do tend to spill things pretty easily, so maybe that's where it comes out for me. I have been trying to analyze that and I realized that I don't really physically feel the cup in my hand when I am picking it up and putting it down, unless I am consciously trying to feel the cup in my hand. It is weird.
I wonder if, for the most part, living with ourselves for our entire lives causes us to be able to compensate for our blindspot. For instance, maybe I have to work harder at Se, but it's still possible to be good at it when I try/practice/stick with it, etc?
My other hypothesis is having some Si might help with Se activities that we've done enough times... like muscle memory?
@@lishayost44 Yeah, I don't think any of this is completely black and white, but it's a common pattern. It's true that we can use different functions to compensate for weaker ones and achieve some similar outcomes, and it's also true that we can develop and improve any function to some extent over time, even the weakest ones.
Clumsiness and not feeling very present in the moment or in the physical world are also common characteristics of low-Se people.
I think it's also possible that there are some facets of blindspot function use that are easier for us than others, depending on our type, so we might have a limited range of aptitude there. For example, as an INFP, I'm usually good at the kinds of things that ISFPs are good at, probably because it's a closely related type and there's a lot of common ground there. But more ISTP types of things don't tend to come naturally to me, and the Se-dom way of life especially is completely alien to me, and I easily get overwhelmed by Se-doms.
I’m a ENTP and my sister who occurs to be my best friend is a ISFJ, other than that my other friend is INFJ also i wish i could meet some INTP to be friends with but actually i’m fascinated by INTJ… i mean all this types with different cognitions just made grow so much bringing a positive impact with their own cognitions!! my parents are each other’s shadows (ESFJ and ISFP) and they bring so much balance and awareness to each other it’s really beautiful…
I'm an ENTJ and my husband is an INTP. We were made for each other. We fill in for each other. The funny thing is that our oldest two are also INTPs and our youngest are looking like they'll be ESFJ and an ENTJ. Huge differences between the oldest and youngest two!
Frank, please make a video on the most compatible types based on the cognitive functions. Both friendship and romantic.
INFJ... ENFP?
Lmao yes I can totally get along with that shadow.
The one type I couldn't handle is the ENTP
I just double checked - I’m an INFP and my mom is an ENFJ - when I read the “why’s” for an INFP, she relates to them, and I relate to hers as well. My dad is an ISTJ and I see what you mean about flipping more of the letters to find the right combo!
The I and E inverse can kinda make sense. Like, it creates the social balance. But say... J and P.... yeah it affects decisions as a couple and also what each value alot in more intrinsic serious decisions in a relationship
I'm an INFJ. My most healthy relationship has been with ENTJ. kinda prefer J types than Ps as an INFJ
Hi I’m an ENFJ and my INTP partner is definitely an amazing match for me. I will say though that your last point is interesting to me. I have many more INTP’s I know, and I think ENTJ is usually a more stable fit. I am an ENFJ in STEM with a lot of work done on my Ti, so that at least made me familiar with INTP’s and their way of thinking. Although I think your last point is right because the opposite T-F makes for a passionate duo, I actually think that’s more difficult to work out in general. I either hate or love INTP’s and I think it’s gonna be like that for anyone meeting their complete N inverse or S inverse
I disagree about the relationship thing. As an INFJ married to an ENFP, I’m grateful for his Fi and I honestly wouldn’t want to be with someone who also has Fe, I think that would be incredibly stressful and frustrating.
Stressful and frustrating like "this town ain't big enough for the two of us?" Honestly interested in your thought process, as four of us in our family have Fe including myself, and only one has Fi.
I guess it’s individual. I’m an ENFP and I’m stressed by Fe. On the other hand, Te makes me feel empowered.
You are not alone. Even the equivalent external judging functions (e.g. Te/Te) can cause clashes. Just look at the video "16 personalities interacting with the most similar types" and skip to the ENTJ/ESTJ part.
The point is that it all depends on the individuals, for how they want to tell others what to do (either Te or Fe). Out of the 4 quadras, it's not a surprise that ExxJ's would be the group with the most drama.
Idk I like Fe in women, but most Ti with Te interactions are clashes. Even when my mom talked to a Ti customer (probably ISTP or same ESTJ) I could see that Fi inferior is almost ready to explode, I CANNOT imagine healthy relationship with Fi inferior EVER.
Congrats on 1 million!
Funny thing is I'm an INFP and my best friend is an ENFJ. Couldn't imagine dating him 😂
I'm an ENFJ and one of my best friends is INFP. I love her dearly but we think and feel so differently on everything that I just don't understand her...and honestly, I don't think she understands me. But we are still good friends.
@@eynta2 How do you think you feel differently? In my case I feel like I care about/have emotions about everything and my best friend doesn't show any emotion other than happy-go-lucky 😩
@@bethrivera867 she is very emotional too. She's stuck in a job that she doesn't like. They take advantage of her. They bully her. I don't know how to help her. My natural personality type is to give advice. Sadly I feel like that's all I do. Advise her all the time. But nothing changes. She won't follow the advice (which is okay...it's her choice)..but then I don't know what to tell her when she complains about her situation.
I want to be supportive. But I feel like both of us are frustrated. 😅
I was brought joy when you used my personality type as the example at the beginning
and devastated when you made the real example something else
can you please make a video "does your personality type change?" and explain why
As an ENFP I prefer another intuitive or feeling type. Never met an INFJ, but a lot of ENFJ and as friends we work out well.
Lol! I’m an ISFP and I have 3 close friends who I’ve typed as ESFJ, and they’re usually the ones who can get me out of the house 😂 Inversely, I think I can calm them down when they get get anxious. ESFJ guys seem to be unicorns because I’ve never met one, but I’m sure they’re somewhere. As for an ESTJ being my best romantic match, you’re gonna have to sell me a bit more on that theory because I don’t see it, my dude!
Yeah I dont buy it either
@@anandaalvarez4336 Lol, sounds like someone who would try to boss me around, and that’s a no 😂
Famous last words, tho? Maybe I’ll meet someone and be like, “Oh, he’s so stable and good with money and people, and organized,” And boom, I’m marrying an ESTJ 😂
@@superstylemeblog hahah nah ESTJs are just scary, however you see them, aslo.. ENTJs
@@anandaalvarez4336 I’d be like, “Stop trying to make me an upstanding member of society! Can’t you see you’re barking up the wrong tree?!”
@@superstylemeblog yeah it may be eye opening at some point but.. not atractive, hell no
9:03 I agree w/ Frank here. I am an INFJ and I feel most attracted to ENTP’s. ENFP’s are a close second for me.