thank you, married 9 yrs, feeling beat, tired, hopeless, alone while together and paying her bills. Currently I don't think I have the strength to have the drama of a divorce. I am 75. but your video tells me I am not crazy and I need to move ahead. thanks and God Bless you
Bill....do what makes Bill happy...people can only wish to live to be your age... you've made it this long bro💪🏾💯...dont let anybody dictate how you feel or take away your happiness...You are living Bills' life...not anybody else...but thats just my opinion...listen to music you like...any comedy also helps...you got this... lets make Bill happy again💯💪🏾👍🏾
Yes, I’ve been married for 40 years and he shows all of these signs. I’ve spent half of my marriage feeling alone. It’s really sad to be married and at the same time feel all alone.
@@shelley3510 yes true, absolutely!!!! It is wondering all the time, i'm next to him why he could not see me or feel me or care about me? It is like feeling and living the injustice of this relationship in permanent way, it is extremly painfull more than beeing single and alone!!!!
Every single one of these signs are spot on. Sadly I found myself trapped in a bad marriage with a leach & a narcissist, however I found the courage & strength to move forward with a divorce.
found there are prayers for fixing divorce and brokenness marriages. Although me and my wife are now back together and our love is even stronger but I was a total mess when she first dumped me.
I hope the BEST for You. The healing process; years. Every day after, will be your best day. Why? You are no longer in that situation, being harmed the worst way - emotionally. God bless you.
Statics show 50% marriages end in divorce Another 35% are unhappily married but elect to stick it out Only 15% are happy and glad they married their present spouse The odds are not good Be very selective
I totally believe this. I was part of the 35% but stuck it out for 25 years because I thought he was at least faithful. Turns out I was wrong due to his porn use so now I'm getting a divorce, so I will be part of the 50%.....
I'm still thinking why people still feel the need for marriage. That's pretty much useless nowadays. You don't need marriage to be able to love someone for the rest of your life. 😅
The 50% stat isn't actually accurate. Someone looked at the number of marriages and divorces in a year, but did not take into account all the people that were already married.
@@brokenhanz-o4m well life dealt me a hand of cards at the beginning that was impossible to come out on top from. However, I did have an amazing time throughout my 20s but suffered loss after loss to find that everything I thought would be there suddenly gone. Now 38 years old, I am in a better place and I probably ever was so I do wish I was in my early 20s.
Spot on. Recently discovered I’ve spent 25 years married to a narcissist. They hit every single one of these. I recall asking them to dream of the future with me and they always refused claiming they were too stressed at work. During a cruel attempt at a partial discard, they told me they didn’t see me in their future. It’s been painful but eye opening. I filed for divorce. I can give myself the love and future I wanted.
I’m so broken I never thought their would be an ending. He moved out and I went to the court house and got the paper twice but I just can’t bring myself to fill them out. I was with him for 20 years and he moved out once our daughter left to college I tried to convince him to come back but he’s only been back to sleep with me then leaves. You’d think I’d respect myself a lil more after all he has arranged for the owner of the home we rented to allow me to stay not inside the home but the garage is what I know now as home. This from the guy who payed for everything now all I hear is I will continue to pay untill the end of this year. The sad thing is I have no money to fight him and lawyer up and I know he has for years hid through investments or bitcoin hidden money.
I wish you all the best for the future. I truly hope you find someone who loves you and is on your wavelength. My friend has been in a loveless marriage for 20+ years and is trapped for many reasons. Scared to divorce because of uncertainty.
It's interesting to see that there are people who would disagree with the video. Being in a relationship like this is confusing, exhausting and affects your mental health. You can end up a shell of the person you were. Is it worth it? I was in a relationship like this (with 8 out of the 10 points) for almost 8 years. It only ended when he died. He prioritised all his social commitments before me, but I was the one who helped him through his last days. Not his golf buddies, not the whole rest of the community that he would always drop everything to be there for. He was a good guy, a decent man and universally liked within the community. I love him but I was miserable with him, and even though I miss him, my mental health has improved a lot since his passing.
These words of Yours are to the core of ones ability to be in love with their SO. I wish all,,,the best of luck ,finding and living with the person that helps them grow,,in their heart ❤
Dude I feel like I’m not me anymore I step out and I can’t get the confidence I once had anymore and I’m an attractive dude and I know it and I haven’t yet been able to get my confidence back I put walls up man bad and I hate that about me bc I want to tell them how I feel but my ex really fukd me up
@@CalebWare-y1wso sorry you are struggling like this. Your comment about walls hit home. I finally realized within the last 2 weeks that I need to let go of the idea of telling them how I feel, for many reasons but I assume these comments aren’t private so won’t go into them
They put up with you...they don't enjoy you. They only discuss important things. They don't hug you when you get home. They have weekend fun activities that don't include you. But basically.. they just put up with you. Because to them your assets...money and work ethic... are useful
I know how you feel. I was with a narcissist for 13 years. It's the only breakup I ever had where I was joyous and optimistic right after. My only regret is wasting all of those years with her, but I choose to look at it as a learning experience. If I can help it, I'll _never_ put myself through that again. I know all of the signs now. 🙂
Iam in the same broken blues 😢 everything he is saying all these things that I have indeererd I I have no emotion left o feel so dist oppon and unloved😢😢😂
@@PatriciaLeiserson-ut5ug I think we all are.....many people I know are going through this.......energy change. If anyone needs someone to talk to....Im usually always around. No since in going through this alone.
If they request anytime apart, practice patience or are the last to contact you. They don’t care about you that much, let them walk and take back control.
I'm 61, reasonably thoughtful and intelligent, just got over a three year relationship that went the other direction. This is a great video and you nailed it and hit many things right on the head, just confirming what I already knew and what I'm learning right now. Thank you for this this is a good one.
@@rickrick3169 did not see your comment from a year ago, but I'll answer it now. My IQ is tested twice at 136. I'm aware of the dunning Kruger effect. I'm probably underestimating myself.
I was in a relationship like this for 11 years, he was a narcissist, and every one of these facts was him. I am now in a very loving relationship, and the difference is amazing, and he is amazing.
found there are prayers for fixing divorce and brokenness marriages. Although me and my wife are now back together and our love is even stronger but I was a total mess when she first dumped me.
I dated a woman for 10 years she was so controlling, manipulative, and downright mean. Found out she was cheating with her ex. She would say she was grocery shopping but I always knew better. Now I'm single and happy. I dont think I'll ever be in a relationship again.
Most women are narcissists...precisely why marriage is a low reward for men. Women think they are only gender who are victims and fail to recognize that the majority of women are narcissists.
My husband found something to do EVERY night of the week: church, bible study, worship band practice, record store, I can't even remember everything. I was home with the kids all day and all night. I was ALONE and overwhelmed. One day I said, "Can you please put aside ONE night a week to stay home with me?" He said, "I don't want to do that because something important might come up". Later, things came to a bigger head and the pastor said, "I am relieving you of your duties at church, so that you can stay home with your wife and work on your marriage". He was so angry that *I* ruined his chances of getting ahead at church. So, instead of staying home with me and the kids every night, which was a waste of his time, he put a new band together and spent all his time on that. When I left him, he was shocked and told everyone it was all my fault. And they believed him because he was "so spiritual" at church, it must have been my fault. (I am not saying I was faultless, but I am saying it was a narcissistic mess.)
I believe you, & you did the right thing. I finally left after 29 years, & I agonized over it; my situation seems very similar to yours- you definitely did the right thing!! It’s been about 1.5 years, & I regret not leaving sooner!! 🙂
Tellement vrai ! Exactement tout ce que j'ai vécu avec D. pendant 18 ans.... jusqu'à ce qu'il me quitte pour une autre femme quelque temps avant notre retraite du travail. J'y rêvais depuis longtemps. J'avais tout plein de projets pour une vie moins stressante avec lui ! J'étais TRÈS AMOUREUSE et aveugle...
OMG! After 22 years of marriage. I am very fortunate, I can't relate to any of this video. My husband truly loves me and I truly love him! Thanks for sharing this. As a couple we are truly blessed. We are very happy and very contented in our marriage! ❤❤❤❤
@lbar9720 My daughter was watching it! She said watch it with me, mum as she was in doubt!! Anyway, since then, her and her EX HAVE SPLIT UP!!! Also, I don't need to explain myself to you! As I said in my previous comment, I can't relate to any of it! Satisfied now????
I experienced most of this in my last relationship with was for 4.5 years. It hurts a lot. The words never matched the actions. It feels awful to finally open your eyes and realize how manipulated you were. 💔
Well it is as though you're talking about me ... I wonder maybe he felt the same like you do now 'manipulated' .. But l liked him (maybe not every day , but I did . And my feeling switches off and on which I don't understand myself ) If I ever said or do something it was not for manipulation . Whatever , it came naturally .
This video is absolutely the BEST and just spelling out the truth of relationships! I spent almost 2 decades in a "bad relationship". The man I'm with now is a God sent! I wake up a princess every morning. I want nothing but for him to have the best and happiest life possible. We're best friends, partners, and cheer leaders for each other. I just wish I was able to be with him longer...
Watching this I’m guilty of mood swings, controlling out of my own insecurity. Trying to do better and yes I do love my spouse, working thru my character flaws
Loved my beautiful gal for 42 years. You support each other in sickness and in health. She finally succumbed to complications from a stroke 12 years earlier. Good video.
Love is NOT a feeling but rather a BEHAVIOR. It's how you treat the other person. It's wanting for them that which makes them happy. It's agreeing to do that which the like.
Not everyone is going to have an relationship because of love. I was married for ten years. It felt more like an business model than a lovely relationship. Sadly it took me years to realize how unhappy and lonely i felt. We were to different in many ways that we never had a chance to be happy together. After the wish to divorce, my partner tried everything to make my life more difficult. Of course my ex-partner did this because of fear and emotional distress. Despite of many years of suffer, i learned a lot what is important to me. That me need of happiness is important. This is something i own my ex partner. That i was able to leave from it. I am in a relationship again, for two years now. Holding hands every time we leave the house. Cuddle several times every day were together. We just love each other like we love ourselves.
This video has very important points. If your tap dancing, hyper vigilant and constantly guessing what to do to keep your partner, get out and get help.
Yea, this hits home. I can't stay in this relationship just for my daughters sake. I need Tobe happy and be with someone who loves me. I try and try, and now I'm at the point where I'm done trying. But what I'm still going to do is continue to work on myself, so when the time comes, I won't bring baggage into my next relationship.
This actually made me realize how much my partner loves me... It also makes me realize how I do not require all points due to my mental health, tho I truly love him. I hope he'll never doubt my love for him
In my view, the best way to avoid all, or most of these factors is to prolong getting married, or in a serious relationship until you have reached a comfortable emotional and psychological level of maturity, and even then bear in mind that nothing is permanent but change; therefore, be prepared to adjust and adapt to whatever the circumstances present.
I realised that I was more alone in a toxic relationship than when being single. Most people are not good at relationships at first but the arrogant ones can't ever admit this and they refuse to adapt and change. We all need to grow and change in order to become mature adults. Relationships only improve with effort. When you love a person you will engage and make the effort. It is not a case of not accepting your partner for who they are but rather who they are in the relationship.
On number 3 and this comes from a lifelong bachelor I have noticed but most couples forget about I love you I want you to accomplish your dreams and I will support you while you reach for them not use it as a excuse to argue and fight
My husband once said that once he won me over he didnt think he had to try as hard anymore. That csme from a boys mindset. Once he grew up, he was worth hanging on to. Been married 31 years now.
Problem is some never do grow up. I struggled for 46 years and had to carry all the responsibility and got no love in return. Others thought he was sweet but he was never home and never paid our son or me any attention. I always thought he'd grow up but I finally realised he didn't want responsibility and should have stayed single
I wish I had seen this 7 years ago. It would have saved me from so much pain. It’s sad that 6 year relationship ended because he no longer had time for me but I want to be happy. Even if it’s by myself.
8 years yesterday. And I feel like my partner no longer loves me, or wants me. And that Mt wants and Mt needs don't matter. I give 100% daily and do whatever I can to try and show them I love them, and want them. Because it hurts when your wifh someone so long. And no longer feel loved or wanted. I still love her, and I wanna keep my family. But idk what to do. I've tried talking to her. And it just seems like it doesn't matter. And it's not like I can go elsewhere to get needs or feelings met. So I'm at a complete and total loss. Should I just bottle it all up, until I just can't take it anymore? I don't feel that's the right thing to do. But I also can't stand the thought of coming home to an empty home everyday, where there was once my happy little family. Please send light and love my way if you could. And I'd like to send light and love to all!!
Universe is by your side ❤ don’t worry you won’t ever get lonely since universe is with you , create the world you need and work on it , talk it out and if they still don’t understand leave … sending strength love and support by my side , I’m with you mate ❤
Either you stay or break up with a covert narcissist, it's difficult, almost impossible to regain your happiness or at least your serenity. He kept hidden our relationship from everyone for five years telling me that what we have between four walls is enough. Finally, he chose a rich old woman from abroad although I have just given birth to his son. He can't love anyone but himself. Open your eyes! I didn't. Time waits for no one.
Perfect. It helps me get back on track with what I am looking for, instead of taking lack of love personally and trying to improve myself to get it. Thank you VERY MUCH! 👁
Should be mentioned that all these signs and feelings can come and go in a long term relationship, real love can be tested but really hard to break...you could even break before it does.. LoL ❤️
Wow, so many of these points hit home. Was living with a woman who meant the world to me. After I found out I wasn’t the only guy in her life (business trips) it gutted me but as hard as it was asked her to leave. Been a long uphill road ever since. I regret promising myself i would never let another woman hurt me like that again and have held true to that.
😔I'm sorry that you had to go through that...but even though it may not seem like it right now ...but guess what? Her loss....Don't change yourself or make the next person suffer because yes that is very tempting but it's not right....just look at it like this, now you know what to look out for and what you want and do not want....make a list of things that will be deal breakers up front so that you can refer to it when you move on. Give yourself plenty of time to heal,be kind to yourself,maybe take a trip or hang out with some friends. Treat yourself to something that you have been wanting. If you don't have any pets also get one,animals are so therapeutic. They are always happy to see us ☺️ they love to cuddle unless it's a reptile😅just kidding but first and foremost ask God to heal your heart ❤️ sorry about the long text but I hope that this helps and just know that you are Loved ❤
I'm guilty of all this by mirroring him, that is how i knew it was time to go. I walked his shoes and felt the lack of love and realized i was wearing rose colored glasses for too long.
Yup, this happened in my 17 year marriage. Had children but i was always struggling to hold the family together. He just wanted to drink and hang out with his friends. I wasted so much time and damged our kids in the process staying.
I know my wife doesn't love me. Sure, she cares for me, but I have also noticed a couple similar behaviors my wife displays toward me , and I haven't even finished the video. I have always wanted the ideal of sharing love. But marriage seems like bullshit.
Eye opening list! I'm quite inclined to agree with it too! Still gonna stay single for a good while! In any case, great video! I especially love your words near the end of this! Thanks!🌹💜🌍
found there are prayers for fixing divorce and brokenness marriages. Although me and my wife are now back together and our love is even stronger but I was a total mess when she first dumped me.
I guess I must be lucky. I spent 43 years married to my best friend. Non of the above applied. The reason it stopped at 43 was I lost her to cancer. I would have gladly traded places with her. I would do another 43 with her.
That was my last relationship. Tore me apart that she didn’t reciprocate anything. I basically saved her life and pulled her away from depression and suicide. At the end of everything, she told me to move on so I did and went on a date. She got insecure that I moved on after she told me.
Exactly 😢😢😢 my boyfriend is just moving out after living together 2yrs every weekend he with his family and and home alone with my kids enough is enough no one should take advantage of your feelings time to let go although it hurts but it hurts feeling alone and being with someone
I’m in a serious relationship and I got 10/10 points from this video it’s really exhausting and rollercoaster ride , I can’t even leave because I see the upside of relationship the part where he was warm but it’s really exhausting to be the one compromising always and whenever I try to communicate things out to make relationship better it feels like my feelings don’t matter and I’m just being too much too dramatic or crazy and also my partner body shames a lot and I hate to see him simping for other females as females we tend to have this want to get cherished by our partner always but it really hurts deep like knife when he is cherishing other females beauty and body , he also doesn’t seem to care about my feelings ever he always looks for himself and never for me , pray for me to get strength to get out of this relationship-let me know your thoughts
u need to get out of this relationship, otherwise only your mental health will be fucked up and u will get blamed for acting "unruly" and cranky all the time just because it's your reaction to him not wanting to communicate and give u the needed respect as a partner i have gone through this, the hopes of the good behavior during the honeymoon phase is what keeps one going but that never, Never happens again, so care for yourself as much as u are caring for him and the relationship and leave
@@Yaayy896 you are right I would try to communicate things but he would blame everything on me saying I’m the one acting like this I’m being victim and would just call me crazy and say I’m not understanding partner to everyone he would literally make me feel insane for speaking up and for feeling that way he literally said I’m mental and I need to go to mental hospital and I need therapist for my reaction to his disrespect towards me , its really drastic because I had fallen for a literally different guy in starting he was a complete gentleman a complete different guy but after 1-2 months I got to see someone whole opposite literally everything opposite of who he was who I fell for and yes it fucked my mental health too much I had depressional and suicidal past from 2 years since I lost my mumma and many more close people but I was healing and making a big progress I had almost healed in 2023 and then I met him everything was good in honeymoon phase but after he literally fucked up my health overall my whole life I dropped my academic life I failed , my mental health is bad I didn’t have time with my family or outside I was locked up with him since he’s a narcissist and after all this I got to such a bad state I became super suicidal due to the blamings I faced by him after putting all my 100% in this relationship I still got 0% respect while still getting blamed for speaking up and I still tried to communicate my feelings when i had 0 energy and after that also I get to see his anger and abuse , he abused my family friends too my body everything it wasn’t at all secure safe or loving relationship it was too draining exhausting, I broke up yesterday night when after all day being disrespected by him consistently and still I get to hear whole different words contrast of his actions and still blame gaming was going on towards me I feel humiliated and its actually my trauma since childhood I never got to experience healthy relationship with anyone no friend no family no parents no one I had always been the one investing more in a relationship and getting replaced or taken for granted so its my fault I got in relationship I should heal my traumas but traumas aren’t so easily gone even after healing they come back somehow unexpectedly, thanks a lot for hearing me out and giving me your hand for support it really means a lot you’re such a kind person 💗may god bless you with love , healing , success ❤️❤️❤️
Wow such incredible information wish I had this information decades ago. Never too late. I met a wonderful man and he treats me very special. God finally answered my prayers in his time not mine. I am so grateful for being patient it really works. Manifest the love you want in your life. Sometimes a relationship can be a lesson or a blessing. Life has a journey for each one of us.
When I wanted to split with my ex early on, but his mother insisted we stay together. And I felt bad his ex broken up with him too. I wish i would’ve listened to my gut straight away.
I remember one relationship I had she was dismissive and superior one day in a coffee shop. When we left I held back to let her go ahead of me and a lady at another table asked me if I was okay
Number 11. If she cheated on you, just like it happened to me, NEVER forgive. I did it, just for wasting another year of my life and get left and hearthbroken again, in a much heavier way. If she found the courage to go to bed with another guy, she doesn't respect you enough and she doesn't have the self-discipline to build a decent life together. Please, even if you hearth doesn't feel like it, don't forgive cheating
Thanks for your presentation. Agree with most of it. When it comes to close relatives ir friends, not so black and white. Relatives and friends can be tricky to navigate because they often gave motives for not wanting to let you go , jealousy, dependency, priorities. So they can be rude or unwelcoming or picky and hard to please or " over protective". And if you find yourself on the receiving end of very unfavourable comparisons to his other women, LEAVE! He'll have feelings for you - but they'll be cruelty, contempt and deep dislike. As I experienced in a connection last year. Can't call it a real relationship.
There is a reason why someone would go cold. It is not just that simple. Every action has a reaction. So it may not always be the fault of who goes cold.
I think this is your best (and most important) video yet. This explains so well many of the things in my past relationship that really urked me..... and now i know why. This will definitely help open my eyes in a future relationship. Thanks Brainy Dose!!!! I've saved this video in a youtube list :)
found there are prayers for fixing divorce and brokenness marriages. Although me and my wife are now back together and our love is even stronger but I was a total mess when she first dumped me.
I'm glad you're doing that NOW...not "seeing if he'll change or get better" in a few months or years. Get out now & spare yourself a lot of heartache. Been there, done that. I wish I could have my last 29 years back, WITHOUT my ex, who wasn't capable of love. And thank god we had no children.
Watching this video makes me remember relationships I've had, and there are moments in my life that I would really like to never try to have a romantic relationship ever again, the love in my life has been a scam.
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thank you, married 9 yrs, feeling beat, tired, hopeless, alone while together and paying her bills. Currently I don't think I have the strength to have the drama of a divorce. I am 75.
but your video tells me I am not crazy and I need to move ahead. thanks and God Bless you
Good Lord. You got married at 66??? Go with god my son 😬
Bill....do what makes Bill happy...people can only wish to live to be your age... you've made it this long bro💪🏾💯...dont let anybody dictate how you feel or take away your happiness...You are living Bills' life...not anybody else...but thats just my opinion...listen to music you like...any comedy also helps...you got this...
lets make Bill happy again💯💪🏾👍🏾
@@PickleRick65Age is just a number, and commitment never goes out of style.
You're 75 😄 ?
You might as well stay married 😄.
You don't have much time left 😄.
@@SouthernGospelSinger777your a cnt hopefully he lives a lot longer than you will🤡
Yes, I’ve been married for 40 years and he shows all of these signs. I’ve spent half of my marriage feeling alone. It’s really sad to be married and at the same time feel all alone.
Me too he never love me.
And me...
Extremly painfull to spend many years feeling alone while you are in a relationship....
It is more lonely than being single.
@@shelley3510 yes true, absolutely!!!! It is wondering all the time, i'm next to him why he could not see me or feel me or care about me? It is like feeling and living the injustice of this relationship in permanent way, it is extremly painfull more than beeing single and alone!!!!
This is the way I felt these last 10 long years. 2024 is year of changing.
Meeee
Same as u
I’ve been divorced since 2019 and to be honest, it felt like the world has been lifted from my shoulders,
im happy for u
I'm praying for that experience 🤞
@@Fiercedancers1 sarcasm will get you nowhere
@@reinerdykeman where was i being sarcastic!?? i literally said im happy for you 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
you know what i take it back! goodbye
@@Fiercedancers1 Even though it felt like the world had been lifted from my shoulders, there’s no happiness in divorced,
Every single one of these signs are spot on. Sadly I found myself trapped in a bad marriage with a leach & a narcissist, however I found the courage & strength to move forward with a divorce.
found
there are prayers for fixing divorce and brokenness marriages. Although me and my wife are now back together and our love is even stronger but I was a total mess when she first dumped me.
I hope the BEST for You. The healing process; years. Every day after, will be your best day. Why? You are no longer in that situation, being harmed the worst way - emotionally.
God bless you.
🙏🏽
Yes I am going through the same thing 😢😢
@@adibee88uuuu
nice point we’re all busy ,but if someone is important to us we make sacrifices
no you're wrong.
Your comment makes me cey, my boyfriend didn't choose me always😢
The fact that people have to watch this video is the answer to this question already
Yes, true
Wow that just hit home for me 😢. Thank you
😭😭😭😭
It helps people understand
Attachment/anxiety disorders entered the room
Statics show 50% marriages end in divorce
Another 35% are unhappily married but elect to stick it out
Only 15% are happy and glad they married their present spouse
The odds are not good
Be very selective
These statistics are suspicious. Be careful.
I totally believe this. I was part of the 35% but stuck it out for 25 years because I thought he was at least faithful. Turns out I was wrong due to his porn use so now I'm getting a divorce, so I will be part of the 50%.....
I'm still thinking why people still feel the need for marriage. That's pretty much useless nowadays. You don't need marriage to be able to love someone for the rest of your life. 😅
wow that's really eye opening :(
The 50% stat isn't actually accurate. Someone looked at the number of marriages and divorces in a year, but did not take into account all the people that were already married.
*Me, a single male in their late 30’s, watching this at 2am*
Fascinating.
@@brokenhanz-o4m well life dealt me a hand of cards at the beginning that was impossible to come out on top from. However, I did have an amazing time throughout my 20s but suffered loss after loss to find that everything I thought would be there suddenly gone. Now 38 years old, I am in a better place and I probably ever was so I do wish I was in my early 20s.
Me, a single female in their early 30’s, watching this at 4am.
Numb
@@AbigaleKirsten 😔 sowy.
let;s get married.
lmfao Same!🥲
Spot on. Recently discovered I’ve spent 25 years married to a narcissist. They hit every single one of these. I recall asking them to dream of the future with me and they always refused claiming they were too stressed at work. During a cruel attempt at a partial discard, they told me they didn’t see me in their future. It’s been painful but eye opening. I filed for divorce. I can give myself the love and future I wanted.
How are you doing now? I am in the process of divorce right now
I wish God will help you finding a true love ❤️. A man that truly cares and cherishes you , gives you love and affection. Amen
Did not dicuss future but stayed with you for 25 years. Does not add up.
I’m so broken I never thought their would be an ending. He moved out and I went to the court house and got the paper twice but I just can’t bring myself to fill them out. I was with him for 20 years and he moved out once our daughter left to college I tried to convince him to come back but he’s only been back to sleep with me then leaves. You’d think I’d respect myself a lil more after all he has arranged for the owner of the home we rented to allow me to stay not inside the home but the garage is what I know now as home. This from the guy who payed for everything now all I hear is I will continue to pay untill the end of this year. The sad thing is I have no money to fight him and lawyer up and I know he has for years hid through investments or bitcoin hidden money.
I wish you all the best for the future. I truly hope you find someone who loves you and is on your wavelength. My friend has been in a loveless marriage for 20+ years and is trapped for many reasons. Scared to divorce because of uncertainty.
It's interesting to see that there are people who would disagree with the video. Being in a relationship like this is confusing, exhausting and affects your mental health. You can end up a shell of the person you were. Is it worth it?
I was in a relationship like this (with 8 out of the 10 points) for almost 8 years. It only ended when he died. He prioritised all his social commitments before me, but I was the one who helped him through his last days. Not his golf buddies, not the whole rest of the community that he would always drop everything to be there for. He was a good guy, a decent man and universally liked within the community. I love him but I was miserable with him, and even though I miss him, my mental health has improved a lot since his passing.
These words of Yours are to the core of ones ability to be in love with their SO. I wish all,,,the best of luck ,finding and living with the person that helps them grow,,in their heart ❤
Sounds like mine, but he is still alive and change golf buddies for his work and we can shake hands. 😢
Dude I feel like I’m not me anymore I step out and I can’t get the confidence I once had anymore and I’m an attractive dude and I know it and I haven’t yet been able to get my confidence back I put walls up man bad and I hate that about me bc I want to tell them how I feel but my ex really fukd me up
@@CalebWare-y1wso sorry you are struggling like this. Your comment about walls hit home. I finally realized within the last 2 weeks that I need to let go of the idea of telling them how I feel, for many reasons but I assume these comments aren’t private so won’t go into them
They put up with you...they don't enjoy you. They only discuss important things. They don't hug you when you get home. They have weekend fun activities that don't include you. But basically.. they just put up with you. Because to them your assets...money and work ethic... are useful
Just like when say your crazy and your got theming wong but youknow th a only start shit wen thay doing wong robustly thasafr
Not putting up with me...more like using me!
@@mildredwilson9562Say what???
Preach!!!!
Yes
I guess I’m the one that doesn’t love anymore, but after 14 yrs of his narcissistic abuse, it’s about time. Yay🎉 for me. I hope this for us all!😊
I know how you feel. I was with a narcissist for 13 years. It's the only breakup I ever had where I was joyous and optimistic right after. My only regret is wasting all of those years with her, but I choose to look at it as a learning experience. If I can help it, I'll _never_ put myself through that again. I know all of the signs now. 🙂
Plenty of women are equally or more narcissistic.
These are all the reasons why I’m leaving him…. I can’t take it anymore 😢 i want to be happy
I wish it were that simple for me.
You will be in bliss
❤sorry hunny , me too
Iam in the same broken blues 😢 everything he is saying all these things that I have indeererd I I have no emotion left o feel so dist oppon and unloved😢😢😂
@@PatriciaLeiserson-ut5ug I think we all are.....many people I know are going through this.......energy change. If anyone needs someone to talk to....Im usually always around. No since in going through this alone.
If they request anytime apart, practice patience or are the last to contact you. They don’t care about you that much, let them walk and take back control.
I'm 61, reasonably thoughtful and intelligent, just got over a three year relationship that went the other direction. This is a great video and you nailed it and hit many things right on the head, just confirming what I already knew and what I'm learning right now. Thank you for this this is a good one.
I hope you come through this. I fully understand.
I am here if you need to talk. I really do understand.
It's heart breaking.😢
@@rickrick3169 did not see your comment from a year ago, but I'll answer it now. My IQ is tested twice at 136. I'm aware of the dunning Kruger effect. I'm probably underestimating myself.
@@ladyb5888 Hi, thanks for your nice comment. I'm doing great. I did learn a lot from that experience.
I was in a relationship like this for 11 years, he was a narcissist, and every one of these facts was him. I am now in a very loving relationship, and the difference is amazing, and he is amazing.
found
there are prayers for fixing divorce and brokenness marriages. Although me and my wife are now back together and our love is even stronger but I was a total mess when she first dumped me.
I dated a woman for 10 years she was so controlling, manipulative, and downright mean. Found out she was cheating with her ex. She would say she was grocery shopping but I always knew better. Now I'm single and happy. I dont think I'll ever be in a relationship again.
Most women are narcissists...precisely why marriage is a low reward for men.
Women think they are only gender who are victims and fail to recognize that the majority of women are narcissists.
That's wonderful news that you're in a new, loving relationship! You deserve this! 💕
women always says what you do say now, maybe he wanted you to clean your own shit
the one that cares the LEAST is always in control !!!
Sad but true. 😢
My husband found something to do EVERY night of the week: church, bible study, worship band practice, record store, I can't even remember everything. I was home with the kids all day and all night. I was ALONE and overwhelmed. One day I said, "Can you please put aside ONE night a week to stay home with me?" He said, "I don't want to do that because something important might come up". Later, things came to a bigger head and the pastor said, "I am relieving you of your duties at church, so that you can stay home with your wife and work on your marriage". He was so angry that *I* ruined his chances of getting ahead at church. So, instead of staying home with me and the kids every night, which was a waste of his time, he put a new band together and spent all his time on that. When I left him, he was shocked and told everyone it was all my fault. And they believed him because he was "so spiritual" at church, it must have been my fault. (I am not saying I was faultless, but I am saying it was a narcissistic mess.)
You cared for yourself, now get a good lawyer. Live life without guilt.
I believe you, & you did the right thing.
I finally left after 29 years, & I agonized over it; my situation seems very similar to yours- you definitely did the right thing!! It’s been about 1.5 years, & I regret not leaving sooner!! 🙂
Number 8 is a dark place to be! U can be surrounded by all ur friends and family at Christmas and u still feel so alone
Can we be friends?
But God says he should care for his family as his priority, maybe he subscribes to another God , another Jesus ?
Letting me drive myself to the hospital when I couldn’t breathe so she wouldn’t miss sleep was a good clue.
Tellement vrai ! Exactement tout ce que j'ai vécu avec D. pendant 18 ans.... jusqu'à ce qu'il me quitte pour une autre femme quelque temps avant notre retraite du travail. J'y rêvais depuis longtemps. J'avais tout plein de projets pour une vie moins stressante avec lui ! J'étais TRÈS AMOUREUSE et aveugle...
OMG! After 22 years of marriage. I am very fortunate, I can't relate to any of this video. My husband truly loves me and I truly love him! Thanks for sharing this. As a couple we are truly blessed. We are very happy and very contented in our marriage! ❤❤❤❤
@lbar9720 My daughter was watching it! She said watch it with me, mum as she was in doubt!! Anyway, since then, her and her EX HAVE SPLIT UP!!! Also, I don't need to explain myself to you! As I said in my previous comment, I can't relate to any of it! Satisfied now????
@@juliemarks9952 Anyone can watch this video, not necessarily those who have doubts on their partners.
@@juliemarks9952 what’s with the defensive attitude?
Good for you..
Congratulations for making it to the 15%
I experienced most of this in my last relationship with was for 4.5 years. It hurts a lot. The words never matched the actions. It feels awful to finally open your eyes and realize how manipulated you were. 💔
Well it is as though you're talking about me ...
I wonder maybe he felt the same like you do now 'manipulated' ..
But l liked him (maybe not every day , but I did . And my feeling switches off and on which I don't understand myself )
If I ever said or do something it was not for manipulation . Whatever , it came naturally .
I usually always in a relationship where I’m the one who loves more than them.
This video is absolutely the BEST and just spelling out the truth of relationships! I spent almost 2 decades in a "bad relationship". The man I'm with now is a God sent! I wake up a princess every morning. I want nothing but for him to have the best and happiest life possible. We're best friends, partners, and cheer leaders for each other. I just wish I was able to be with him longer...
Where did u find him, Angela?
Watching this I’m guilty of mood swings, controlling out of my own insecurity. Trying to do better and yes I do love my spouse, working thru my character flaws
Loved my beautiful gal for 42 years. You support each other in sickness and in health. She finally succumbed to complications from a stroke 12 years earlier. Good video.
Love is NOT a feeling but rather a BEHAVIOR. It's how you treat the other person. It's wanting for them that which makes them happy. It's agreeing to do that which the like.
Sometimes the loneliest place in the world is a king size bed with someone else in it...
Spot on Tony😢
Omfg ..I felt this so hard 💔
Your bodies laying next to mine, but your mind is on the other side of town .
Hell yeah ain't that the truth
oh my goodness, so true
Not everyone is going to have an relationship because of love. I was married for ten years. It felt more like an business model than a lovely relationship. Sadly it took me years to realize how unhappy and lonely i felt.
We were to different in many ways that we never had a chance to be happy together. After the wish to divorce, my partner tried everything to make my life more difficult. Of course my ex-partner did this because of fear and emotional distress.
Despite of many years of suffer, i learned a lot what is important to me. That me need of happiness is important. This is something i own my ex partner. That i was able to leave from it.
I am in a relationship again, for two years now. Holding hands every time we leave the house. Cuddle several times every day were together. We just love each other like we love ourselves.
You just described my life. That is so crazy
But I'm very happy for you. Take care 😊
This video has very important points. If your tap dancing, hyper vigilant and constantly guessing what to do to keep your partner, get out and get help.
Yea, this hits home. I can't stay in this relationship just for my daughters sake. I need Tobe happy and be with someone who loves me. I try and try, and now I'm at the point where I'm done trying. But what I'm still going to do is continue to work on myself, so when the time comes, I won't bring baggage into my next relationship.
This actually made me realize how much my partner loves me... It also makes me realize how I do not require all points due to my mental health, tho I truly love him. I hope he'll never doubt my love for him
You don't need signs, you just know when you've checked out.
I hope one day they meet someone who loves you as much as you do, cares about you, and is willing to fight for the relationship.
10/10. It's over. I wonder if she knows it too. We both pretend we still care. I do half of this list, she does the other half.
In my view, the best way to avoid all, or most of these factors is to prolong getting married, or in a serious relationship until you have reached a comfortable emotional and psychological level of maturity, and even then bear in mind that nothing is permanent but change; therefore, be prepared to adjust and adapt to whatever the circumstances present.
I realised that I was more alone in a toxic relationship than when being single. Most people are not good at relationships at first but the arrogant ones can't ever admit this and they refuse to adapt and change. We all need to grow and change in order to become mature adults. Relationships only improve with effort. When you love a person you will engage and make the effort. It is not a case of not accepting your partner for who they are but rather who they are in the relationship.
On number 3 and this comes from a lifelong bachelor I have noticed but most couples forget about I love you I want you to accomplish your dreams and I will support you while you reach for them not use it as a excuse to argue and fight
My husband once said that once he won me over he didnt think he had to try as hard anymore.
That csme from a boys mindset. Once he grew up, he was worth hanging on to.
Been married 31 years now.
Problem is some never do grow up. I struggled for 46 years and had to carry all the responsibility and got no love in return. Others thought he was sweet but he was never home and never paid our son or me any attention. I always thought he'd grow up but I finally realised he didn't want responsibility and should have stayed single
I wish I had seen this 7 years ago. It would have saved me from so much pain. It’s sad that 6 year relationship ended because he no longer had time for me but I want to be happy. Even if it’s by myself.
Really?
8 years yesterday. And I feel like my partner no longer loves me, or wants me. And that Mt wants and Mt needs don't matter. I give 100% daily and do whatever I can to try and show them I love them, and want them. Because it hurts when your wifh someone so long. And no longer feel loved or wanted. I still love her, and I wanna keep my family. But idk what to do. I've tried talking to her. And it just seems like it doesn't matter. And it's not like I can go elsewhere to get needs or feelings met. So I'm at a complete and total loss. Should I just bottle it all up, until I just can't take it anymore? I don't feel that's the right thing to do. But I also can't stand the thought of coming home to an empty home everyday, where there was once my happy little family. Please send light and love my way if you could. And I'd like to send light and love to all!!
Doesn't sound like your family is happy. Give yourself a chance for happiness.
I wish my partner wants me this much
Universe is by your side ❤ don’t worry you won’t ever get lonely since universe is with you , create the world you need and work on it , talk it out and if they still don’t understand leave … sending strength love and support by my side , I’m with you mate ❤
THEIR ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN THEIR WORDS - is the summary of the 12 signs if your person don't love you .
You left out them wanting to take vacation without you, but want you to pay for it.
I found the courage and strength to move forward with a divorce. This is very helpful to me. Thank your sir for the information.
Either you stay or break up with a covert narcissist, it's difficult, almost impossible to regain your happiness or at least your serenity. He kept hidden our relationship from everyone for five years telling me that what we have between four walls is enough. Finally, he chose a rich old woman from abroad although I have just given birth to his son. He can't love anyone but himself. Open your eyes! I didn't. Time waits for no one.
Narcissist.... get out!! Run!!!!
😂😂😂😂
and you? abuser?
I’m actually experiencing every single thing this video is talking about
Red flags. Do not ignore.
😢the man I thought I would grow old with, hit all 10, all 10, every single one😢
I agree with you, same here.
Perfect. It helps me get back on track with what I am looking for, instead of taking lack of love personally and trying to improve myself to get it. Thank you VERY MUCH! 👁
Should be mentioned that all these signs and feelings can come and go in a long term relationship, real love can be tested but really hard to break...you could even break before it does.. LoL ❤️
They could also be broken hearted, disillusioned, depressed...immature or have CPTSD, come from a dysfunctional family.
They could be, and while it's good to be sympathetic to that, it's also on them to fix and handle.
thank you for this video. it really helped clear my mind. i finally recognize where i stand in this "relationship"
Wow, so many of these points hit home. Was living with a woman who meant the world to me. After I found out I wasn’t the only guy in her life (business trips) it gutted me but as hard as it was asked her to leave. Been a long uphill road ever since. I regret promising myself i would never let another woman hurt me like that again and have held true to that.
😔I'm sorry that you had to go through that...but even though it may not seem like it right now ...but guess what? Her loss....Don't change yourself or make the next person suffer because yes that is very tempting but it's not right....just look at it like this, now you know what to look out for and what you want and do not want....make a list of things that will be deal breakers up front so that you can refer to it when you move on. Give yourself plenty of time to heal,be kind to yourself,maybe take a trip or hang out with some friends. Treat yourself to something that you have been wanting. If you don't have any pets also get one,animals are so therapeutic. They are always happy to see us ☺️ they love to cuddle unless it's a reptile😅just kidding but first and foremost ask God to heal your heart ❤️ sorry about the long text but I hope that this helps and just know that you are Loved ❤
I'm guilty of all this by mirroring him, that is how i knew it was time to go. I walked his shoes and felt the lack of love and realized i was wearing rose colored glasses for too long.
Yup, this happened in my 17 year marriage. Had children but i was always struggling to hold the family together. He just wanted to drink and hang out with his friends. I wasted so much time and damged our kids in the process staying.
Never again
I was told he didnt love me. I refused to believe the truth.
I just never
experienced this before. I just regret the time lost.
I know my wife doesn't love me. Sure, she cares for me, but I have also noticed a couple similar behaviors my wife displays toward me , and I haven't even finished the video. I have always wanted the ideal of sharing love. But marriage seems like bullshit.
They won’t let me walk away ..
Spot on,hot and cold, not making time. Dismiss feelings.
Secrets
Don't love me
All men and women needs to watch this. For the first time in my life, I had a relationship just like this, filling all the check marks.
Number 11 love yourself and move on
Some people are just no good, if someone tells you. Then you need to find out
Thank you ! 😢 LET ME PREPARE TO GO MY SEPERATE WAY
Eye opening list! I'm quite inclined to agree with it too! Still gonna stay single for a good while! In any case, great video! I especially love your words near the end of this! Thanks!🌹💜🌍
found
there are prayers for fixing divorce and brokenness marriages. Although me and my wife are now back together and our love is even stronger but I was a total mess when she first dumped me.
Another sign is that they go i don't love you , i see you as a friend
Hope one day I will meet that person who will appreciate me 🤧
If you have to ask for love, it's not coming from the person it should. ❤️
I guess I must be lucky. I spent 43 years married to my best friend. Non of the above applied. The reason it stopped at 43 was I lost her to cancer. I would have gladly traded places with her. I would do another 43 with her.
Lucky you. Many of us ended up in horror show marriages. 90% bad most of the time. Littered in abuse and incompatibility.
You were blessed to have her 💕
I see this with someone am married to now....sad but true fact...Run oooo run.
How can anyone be with someone they do not love? That's a lot of faking to do. It will eat at your soul. No wonder so many people are depressed.
Yes believe you me it’s hell.
That was my last relationship. Tore me apart that she didn’t reciprocate anything. I basically saved her life and pulled her away from depression and suicide. At the end of everything, she told me to move on so I did and went on a date. She got insecure that I moved on after she told me.
Exactly 😢😢😢 my boyfriend is just moving out after living together 2yrs every weekend he with his family and and home alone with my kids enough is enough no one should take advantage of your feelings time to let go although it hurts but it hurts feeling alone and being with someone
I'm in a relationship like this, unfortunately there's a baby involved
So what you going to do?
i wish i found this video 4 years ago. thank you. everything hits way to close to home.
With great power comes great responsibility Brainydose!
I’m in a serious relationship and I got 10/10 points from this video it’s really exhausting and rollercoaster ride , I can’t even leave because I see the upside of relationship the part where he was warm but it’s really exhausting to be the one compromising always and whenever I try to communicate things out to make relationship better it feels like my feelings don’t matter and I’m just being too much too dramatic or crazy and also my partner body shames a lot and I hate to see him simping for other females as females we tend to have this want to get cherished by our partner always but it really hurts deep like knife when he is cherishing other females beauty and body , he also doesn’t seem to care about my feelings ever he always looks for himself and never for me , pray for me to get strength to get out of this relationship-let me know your thoughts
u need to get out of this relationship, otherwise only your mental health will be fucked up and u will get blamed for acting "unruly" and cranky all the time just because it's your reaction to him not wanting to communicate and give u the needed respect as a partner
i have gone through this, the hopes of the good behavior during the honeymoon phase is what keeps one going but that never, Never happens again, so care for yourself as much as u are caring for him and the relationship and leave
@@Yaayy896 you are right I would try to communicate things but he would blame everything on me saying I’m the one acting like this I’m being victim and would just call me crazy and say I’m not understanding partner to everyone he would literally make me feel insane for speaking up and for feeling that way he literally said I’m mental and I need to go to mental hospital and I need therapist for my reaction to his disrespect towards me , its really drastic because I had fallen for a literally different guy in starting he was a complete gentleman a complete different guy but after 1-2 months I got to see someone whole opposite literally everything opposite of who he was who I fell for and yes it fucked my mental health too much I had depressional and suicidal past from 2 years since I lost my mumma and many more close people but I was healing and making a big progress I had almost healed in 2023 and then I met him everything was good in honeymoon phase but after he literally fucked up my health overall my whole life I dropped my academic life I failed , my mental health is bad I didn’t have time with my family or outside I was locked up with him since he’s a narcissist and after all this I got to such a bad state I became super suicidal due to the blamings I faced by him after putting all my 100% in this relationship I still got 0% respect while still getting blamed for speaking up and I still tried to communicate my feelings when i had 0 energy and after that also I get to see his anger and abuse , he abused my family friends too my body everything it wasn’t at all secure safe or loving relationship it was too draining exhausting, I broke up yesterday night when after all day being disrespected by him consistently and still I get to hear whole different words contrast of his actions and still blame gaming was going on towards me I feel humiliated and its actually my trauma since childhood I never got to experience healthy relationship with anyone no friend no family no parents no one I had always been the one investing more in a relationship and getting replaced or taken for granted so its my fault I got in relationship I should heal my traumas but traumas aren’t so easily gone even after healing they come back somehow unexpectedly, thanks a lot for hearing me out and giving me your hand for support it really means a lot you’re such a kind person 💗may god bless you with love , healing , success ❤️❤️❤️
This video hurt , but was helpful in more ways than you know
Wow such incredible information wish I had this information decades ago. Never too late. I met a wonderful man and he treats me very special. God finally answered my prayers in his time not mine. I am so grateful for being patient it really works. Manifest the love you want in your life. Sometimes a relationship can be a lesson or a blessing. Life has a journey for each one of us.
Yup happens to my family, friends and my daughters future ex. A lot of them got no feelings one another.
Tina Turner said "What's love got to do." Love you Tina truly a gift from heaven.
Thanks so much for sharing this. The information couldn’t be more timely.
Definitely enough to think about ❤
When I wanted to split with my ex early on, but his mother insisted we stay together. And I felt bad his ex broken up with him too. I wish i would’ve listened to my gut straight away.
Yeah, she couldn't keep up with date night for more than a month.
I haven't found love yet I'm 22 I hope it happens soon I want a good relationship😃😃😃😃
Think slow
Act slow
Take a breath.
She checks all the boxes……. But then again what she doesn’t realize I checked them long ago
I remember one relationship I had she was dismissive and superior one day in a coffee shop. When we left I held back to let her go ahead of me and a lady at another table asked me if I was okay
Number 11. If she cheated on you, just like it happened to me, NEVER forgive. I did it, just for wasting another year of my life and get left and hearthbroken again, in a much heavier way. If she found the courage to go to bed with another guy, she doesn't respect you enough and she doesn't have the self-discipline to build a decent life together. Please, even if you hearth doesn't feel like it, don't forgive cheating
This was so helpful because I in relationships right we're as close as we used to be since Covid19
Thank you so much 😊
It should not be all about you . However you should have a place .
Yeah, she definitely tries to make me feel guilty about my valid feelings quite a bit
Walk? ❤
It’s so hard to find someone that cares sooooo hard,,,,
Thanks for your presentation. Agree with most of it. When it comes to close relatives ir friends, not so black and white. Relatives and friends can be tricky to navigate because they often gave motives for not wanting to let you go , jealousy, dependency, priorities. So they can
be rude or unwelcoming or picky
and hard to please or " over protective". And if you find yourself on the receiving end of very unfavourable comparisons to his other women, LEAVE! He'll have feelings for you - but they'll be cruelty, contempt and deep dislike.
As I experienced in a connection last year. Can't call it a real relationship.
There is a reason why someone would go cold. It is not just that simple. Every action has a reaction. So it may not always be the fault of who goes cold.
Love is good, but duty, loyalty, and commitment are more important
I think this is your best (and most important) video yet. This explains so well many of the things in my past relationship that really urked me..... and now i know why. This will definitely help open my eyes in a future relationship. Thanks Brainy Dose!!!! I've saved this video in a youtube list :)
found
there are prayers for fixing divorce and brokenness marriages. Although me and my wife are now back together and our love is even stronger but I was a total mess when she first dumped me.
@@lukebarrett2317 you're a lucky man! :)
@@markwilliams4489 No, I was lucky to have got the prayer when I did 😇
Sign number one: watching this video 😂
After 20 years i realised my wife loved the idea of a relationship, just not me :(
I rhink am with someone incapable of loving....thank you for this video. I will just leave in silence.
I'm glad you're doing that NOW...not "seeing if he'll change or get better" in a few months or years. Get out now & spare yourself a lot of heartache. Been there, done that. I wish I could have my last 29 years back, WITHOUT my ex, who wasn't capable of love. And thank god we had no children.
@@jnorway7295 you are so relateable....Thank you for your message
Watching this video makes me remember relationships I've had, and there are moments in my life that I would really like to never try to have a romantic relationship ever again, the love in my life has been a scam.