Yeah for sure Serra no problemo - we had a good time creating it! It’s a lot more easy to just let stuff out comfortably when you find ones who are of a similar crowd opposed to the majority out there who can quickly shut us low percentage “weirdos” down with our views on life. As said in the video INFJs / INFPs are largely different, but there is definitely this strong relatable understanding between the types I have come to find... Sean
As an INFP, my mother said that when I was 5 years old, I didn't prefer to mingle with kids of my age. Instead, I prefer to sit down and listen to the conversations of older people (grandpas and grandmas), just listening as if I'm also an older person.
Same with me. Someone once commented that INTPs and INFPs often seem mature beyond their years as children and childlike as adults. Personally, I relate to that.
I was very active as a kid when I was 4 or 5 years old...and I'm an INFP...but as I got older I became more and more introverted...I CANNOT get close to more than 2 people...I can't...
@@JF59122 me too. Trustworthiness is something that they must show first instead of mere words. Not because of what they say, but why they do (the genuine intent). In return, they'll have my best reliability in terms of favor and especially trust.
ENFJ just meandering around here again! Ditto, I think I solidified my Fe-Se+ so much through academia I was very much a loner save for the fact I had a 'ready made' social circle thanks to my twin sister. Perhaps this is due to occupying a divergent subtype for so long but I'm still pretty happy in my own head now. It does get lonely though so it's been nice to find like minded individuals (or at least those with similar intellectual interests) through the discord server.
As an INFP myself, I agree with what Sean said about finding INFJs very relatable. I find it interesting & quite fascinating that despite our different cognitive functions, INFJs & INFPs often times tend to have similar experiences, interests, & senses of humor. I think that INFJs & INFPs are "kindred spirits". 😊 I've heard another INFJ RUclipsr "Molly The Person" describe INFJs & INFPs as "sibling types". 💕 Great video, Harry! 👏🌻☀️
Amazing, my best friend is an INFP. We’ve been friends since middle school and now are looking for a place to move into together. Kinda scary, but super exciting!! I’m sure we’ll have an awesome time. We’re great influences on each other. He keeps me excited and I keep him grounded. We have such a commitment to our friendship and improving our lives... truly one of my favorite relationships in my life.
I grew up as an INFP though I would say I was not as introverted as many. On a good day I am more of an ENFP. But much of what was said here did resonate with me. It was high school sports that brought me out. My parents forced me to play, even though I was not the best I did make the team. Had I not been involved in after school sports I think I would of been much more introverted.
LOVED this open honest communication, thanks guys. INFJ. I was a very shy child. Reaching high school was still internally socially stressful. Started to come out of it in the last 3 years (age 16-18). Had to keep pushing into the discomfort in my early 20s. Had to learn to gabber on about nothing. I'm alot older now and still sometimes listen to myself 'socialising' and think... what are you gibbering on about 😂 but it comes very naturally now.
I relate a lot to this! I so often have the same experience to you - I socialise with people all the while observing myself in exactly the same manner. I'm glad I acquired the skill though and do genuinely enjoy impacting the social atmosphere :)
Meanwhile the ENFJ over here is introverting lol. I find I have a strange visceral pull towards interaction & I'm probably better at ameliorating conflicts than I give myself credit for but I do equally enjoy just observing. I did find it odd the other day when someone referred to me as having a strong personality & described me as 'tenacious'; it's ironic that our own self concept can indeed be very different. I love cognitive introverts & social introverts in general; it always baffled me why a lot of your more social extroverts would deduce that there wasn't much going on beneath the surface. I wish my Ni-Ti despite being more convergent be more 'naturally' that way - it was the secret source to BSing my way through exams anyway (even if I didn't have adequate Si dip then it was pretty easy to 'make up sh*t n get away with it 😂). Dear, INFP, please throw some of that Fi-Si my way too; one of my best tutors was an INFP - the intellectualism of this type is highly underrated in MBTI circles.
It was really awesome to watch how I as an INFP have similar kind of bodylanguage as this INFP guy here when I feel comfortable with my conversation partner - broad, fast and liquid handmovements, like trying to swim in air, dance in the soup of ideas. I also think that makes me a pretty good improvisational dancer. :P And those ''excited'' type of Ne eye movements! Also, your experiences are very relatable. I love this channel!
It is so interesting to note that stories have similarities but the approach is different. INFJ has already thought of his childhood, he has interpreted his own behaviour and others' behaviour, and in the video he gives a summary with key points. While INFP is reliving his memories when he describes them. Great video, thank you to both of you for sharing. 💕
Thank you so much for this video! I'm an INFJ and most of my friends are INFPs and ENFPs. It's amazing how similar we often are in our behavior. We seem to speak the same language. The differences are on a much deeper level and they are fascinating. I did interviews with my INFP friends to understand Introverted Feeling. With Fe and Fi it's like coming from different directions, developing closer and closer to each other, both searching for the middle ground to find balance.
This is so interesting, coming over from Sean's channel, happy to connect with you too Harry. I wonder how much culture plays part in how we interact from our dispositions. I was born in Tanzania 🇹🇿, moved to England in my early teens, lived there for almost 20 years before moving to the US. I see very different versions of myself whenever I moved to. I remember feeling like I spent a lot of time alone in my childhood. Although my mother says that wasn't so, I have two brothers and loads of cousins. We were always around people. Those interactions aren't always at the forefront of my mind unless I'm actively talking about something specific. I recall more vividly times I spent in contemplation or solitude. I think the feeling of "loneliness" in my childhood was less to do with not being around people but rather feeling like not many people could relate to my imaginations and way of being. Moving to England allowed me to explore more of my creativity than I had done when I was in Tanzania. I had less pressure to be around people and could dive into books 📚 and movies 🎥 and plays ▶️ uninterrupted. I could just get lost in it all without interruption. This video helped me think about all this. I really enjoyed it.
Hey Dory, thanks so much for sharing your own story (and for the accompanying kind words)! I would absolutely imagine culture to have an absolutely huge influence on such matters - I imagine the contrast between Tanzanian and British culture was significant!
@@CognitivePersonality yes the contrast was significant. To some degree I was prepared for that. I wasn't however prepared for the culture shock moving from Englad to the US. I figured there wouldn't be that big of difference, boy was I wrong 😅 I'm glad to have discovered your channel and looking forward to more of your content.
Thank you very much for sharing this. I can relate with every word of yours. I also was a lone wolf, and I could say, an observant kid. Played by myself and enjoyed watching others behaviour. Learned how to socialise later, by will.
I don’t know how this comment became sooo long. That’s PART of my childhood. Brace yourself. I’m an INFJ. In my childhood I was actually quite sociable, rather easily making new acquaintances from very young. Of course, I was shy in some situations, but overall I was also quite bold and I always had friends (1 or 2 that were very close to me and a couple more that were more like play buddies). I’ve been part of friend groups with 5-10 people. So by now you might think “she’s a mistyped extrovert, an imposter!”. Well, not at all. I’ve ditched my friends so many times so I could play home alone, but I just didn’t have any problems making friends in the first place. I guess I’ve been drawn to people from the very start and whatever imagining or thinking I did, it was mostly about people. I think I fit well with the stereotype of the social chameleon although I’ve always felt somewhat older than the kids my age and the older I became the more difficult it became finding people who were fun to talk to and hang out with. I had my crisis in 9th grade (15yo) after spending my 8th grade actively socialising and getting acquainted with most of the 8 graders only to find out that none of them clicked with me. That’s when I started to feel really lonely. I was never on bad terms with anyone, while there were year long conflicts amongst the other kids. I thought of a lot of them in a positive way but no one felt familiar. I didn’t have that best buddy to sit in class with anymore and it sucked, I mostly sit alone. And It’s not that I was an outsider cause I talked and got along with everyone. But it was so fucking lonely. Now that I’m in college I have a group of friends who have similar interests as me and although we’re all very different that’s what makes me love them even more. I love groups. The 5 year period without a friend group was the most lonely period in my life. And I still had two best friends at that time and some more which I hung out with from time to time, but I needed to have someone right by my side in everyday life. BTW there was some verbal bullying and some “playing around” with my things (and other kids’ things ‘cause apparently that’s “fun”) until 7 grade and I’ve had a couple of really bad moments because of it, but kids were just young and stupid, that’s how I think of it now. Mainly because some of them treated me well after some time, and with some of them I’ve played even. They develop some sense around 7 grade, that’s why I didn’t have such problems after that. Actually this whole thing has a point and I almost lost it on the way. There are a lot of factors like how you were raised by your parents, did you have siblings, what is the culture of your country and even your city. It’s not all about your type, that’s why I would’ve liked it if these things were mentioned. My mother has always let me walk ahead, chose the path, she encouraged me to take the lead, she praised me, trusted me with my grades even when I had a poor performance, let me roam around the city more freely as long as she knew where I were and when I would come home (from the age of 10 maybe) while other kids weren’t allowed to leave the neighbourhood. I had an older brother to play and to fight with. I also moved around a lot, I’ve lived in 2 cities, I’ve been to 6 different schools, hence I didn’t have a choice but to meet new people and develop my social skills. And so on. I think those are important factors in how my childhood unfolded. If you read this far, you are a warrior! Thank you!
Oh yes, I certainly wouldn't say my childhood experience is in any way representative of INFJs as a whole - I've been acquanted with plenty of INFJs who, while certainly of a different thought pattern to other kids, took to the social game and identity formation rather well! As you say, there are many many factors superfluous to cognitive type that affect ease of upbringing (I particularly appreciate the reference to culture!) so I certainly wouldn't say it is unusual for an INFJ to adapt more quickly and effectively such as in your case.
I'm INFJ too and I totally relate to what you're saying. I do really feel like the "extroverted introvert" INFJs are described as. I have always been good at adapting to my social surroundings. I grew up with an older brother and younger sister and always had friends, was in friend groups in school and college and tend to get along with most everyone. But I also know the feeling of loneliness very well, cause getting along with people really isn't enough. When I don't have a partner or a best friend, whom I can talk to all the time, someone who knows and "get's" me, I can easily feel lonely, even if there's other people I could call. Also the tricky thing for me always seems to be finding the right balance between contact and alone time. I get worn out, when I'm around people for too long and lonely, when I don't see anyone for more than one or two days. I'm 30 now and this balancing act of social interaction seems to stay a daily struggle. But it does help to know about the cognitive functions to explain some of what I'm experiencing. Also working on strenghthening my boundaries and feeling of groundedness seems to be helpful, because it allows me to stay within myself more rather than totally adapting to the person I'm around. Greetings from Berlin!
"I've ditched my friends so many times so I could play home alone" Thank you, this is so accurate to my primary school time. And in the last two years of high school I got finally more comfortable with my class. They saw me as a friend, but I found it really hard to call them so (until the last year).
So, a friend has posted several of your videos, and to be honest, of all the different channels I've watched over the years of MBTI, yours is probably the one that has made the most sense to me personally. I was able to relate to a lot of what you said. As a child, I spent the majority of my formative years and on through high school, in my head. I never really had an idea as to, as you said, play the game. I grew up in a small town where sports was a big event, not having any interest in those sort of displays of machismo, I stayed in my head and mostly outcasted by the majority, which was okay by me as I had trouble relating to others. I still have trouble trying to express myself in a way that people will understand but I've gotten better at it over the years. In short, thanks to both of you for sharing and posting this. I feel sharing such experiences are helpful in letting other people know they aren't alone in their experiences and can open up about them.
Ahh thank you so much for this, it means a lot to hear! Sports were also a big part of the culture I grew up in so that didn't help my fitting in either, hah. Sometimes learning what are in reality incredibly complex social skills and relational ability does take a while, but I do think those who have found their own path doing so are at a certain advantage to those for whom the application is more natural :) No problem - I know both me and Sean are passionate about creating a space for people to share such experiences without judgement and, honestly, being a bit different in this regard has its own advantages and is nothing to be ashamed of.
Bonjour Harry :) I had been wondering for a long time whether I was INFJ or INFP. This video helped solidify my recent conclusion that INFP fits me better. I'll be sure to check out Sean's channel in a sec. What struck me most here : though you both described not taking part in the "social game" during childhood, it sounds like, as INFJs, the skill can be acquired, whereas INFPs are more prone to struggle with it even through adulthood. Or am I drawing too general conclusions from your testimonies here ? Staying tuned, cheers from France !
I am an INFP as well, and I agree with your idea that INFPs tend to struggle socially even into adulthood. Dealing with social interactions/ relationships doesn't come as naturally to us as it does for other personality types. However, every personality type has their own strengths & weaknesses, and I believe that we all have the ability to overcome our personal struggles/ challenges with practice (and patience!). I hope you have a great day! Blessings! 💖🌻🦋
Bonjour@@cierahayes :) I totally agree with you, each type has its talents !!! By no means was I implying that this particular observation meant that INFPs were "not as good" as other types. It just seemed to me that it might be helpful, to gain clarity, when you've been stuck in the " INF? zone " and you can't decide if you identify more with P or J. Practice and patience... I hope you are right !!! Sometimes it feels like I have been working soooooooooooooooooo hard for soooooooooooooooo long on understanding how to fit in (exactly what Sean says here) yet, progress is scarce... (Actually, I would say that I have a better vision of what SHOULD be done, but still, doing it drains me almost immediately.) Would you say you can see yourself evolving in that field ? I wish you a great day as well, all hearts and flowers and butterflies too :) :)
Thanks Claire! Sean has a great channel and I highly recommend :) Interesting hypothesis - I'd say INFPs can very much acquire the skill, but tend to do so in a more 'Te' manner which can be less intuitive than an INFJ simply 'coming into' their Fe like I did :)
@@kcl7864 Hello! :) I totally understood what you meant in your comment! 👍 You didn't come across as being "negative" at all-- no worries! 🌻 I think the observation you expressed certainly could help bring clarity to someone dealing with the "P or J question". On the subject of: understanding how to "fit in"-- Any progress (no matter how small it may seem) is STILL progress! 😊 I heard someone say recently that it is better to be at 1% than 0%! Lol! Ultimately though, the right people will accept you just as you are, so don't be shy about standing out in a crowd/ apart from a crowd. ;) As far as my own "evolution" in the field of socializing... It's a continual work in progress! 😅 I've pretty much been in "hermit-mode" for many years (Lol!), but for the past few months I've been trying to challenge myself to try some new things & interact more with people. Chatting with nice people like you in the comments section of RUclips has helped me greatly & encouraged me to be less timid when it comes to socializing. (I find that writing about my thoughts & emotions comes much easier than speaking them aloud. Do you feel the same way?) I wish you much success on your journey of self-discovery/ improvement! You are unique & important! Your path in life is your very own, and I believe you will find your way! Never give up! :) :) 💖
@@cierahayesLike you, I feel more comfortable writing than I am speaking. So cool that you are challenging yourself and obtaining growth from it 👍👍👍 Say, do you have any particular INFP ressources that you enjoy online ?
INFP here, I can relate to both of your stories. I was also very quiet, observing, always in my fantasy world. Unfortunately growing up under very difficult circumstances, my father being an alcoholic, my mother being depressed, and me being neglected and constantly critisized because "I was not like the other boys, too quiet, too sensitive, too much of an outsider", etc. It was actually a nightmare. School too from the age of 14 onwards, a horrible youth. When I moved away from my hometown aged 19 it took me more than 10 years to somehow recover from my terrible childhood and find my path in life. After all those years of fighting from a young age onwards I hope I can retire early from my career within the next 2 years and then rediscover myself.
Funny how closely it correlates with my experience and that of my INFP partner... similar similarities and similar differences and also similar ways of breaking it down afterwards. Great content as always!
Liked. Subscribed. Saved. Shared. Very clear, deeply resonating. (I've seen quite a few of your videos since seeing you and David. This is by far my favorite you've done (since)). "Got plenty of alone time, but it wasn't always by choice...I wasn't accepted, I wasn't playing the game,.. I hated aggression, full stop. I was just a bit weird. Enjoyed use of imagination.(was my strongest)." Eye opening. Really identified. Sean, your a very sweet INFP! Thankyou both so much for sharing your stories. It helped me understand my own. I know it will help me and my infp bff, too. It's really neat how you both did have some similarities in your childhoods. Really neat, my infp bff and I also had similar childhoods to eachother, and to what each of you described, respectively. Thank you both.
My experience of growing up as an INFP is that I was very much into my own world where I made up creatures and created my own fantasy world with different languages that I developed with their own alphabet and cultures. I was so much into this world where I would spend time writing about it or drawing it during school time that I was near to failing every subject except for creative writing class. The friends I played with would by increments learn about these worlds from my imagination because I wasn't terribly interested in sharing my inner world. I would make up games with friends to pretend to be mice or fairies or would create a story that even if my friends didn't want to play these games I would still play them in my head even if we were playing something else as a group (e.g. kickball). The thing I learned fairly young was there was protection in having a group to belong to even though deep down I really didn't care to belong to a group. If anything, being with other people distracted me from my fantasy world which is where I preferred to stay. Playing sports was required and I ran a lot during that time but I mostly did it to feel free but I didn't really engage in being competitive. It was very common for people to tell me I was weird but that hardly meant anything to me. It wasn't unusual for me to wear a cat costume under my clothes to school and even loved these bloomers that I wore that showed under my dress that even the teacher was wondering why I was wearing that to school and gave me funny looks. My mother was always having to talk to the Principal and teachers at the school because I tested well but didn't do my school work. I told my parents that doing homework was pointless if it wasn't going to get me into Heaven so what does it matter? I had a very morbid sense from early on (probably by age 8) that everything we did on this Earth was going to be wiped away by death so it was nearly pointless.
Really like the comparisons and could identify with both of those upbringing very much. I'm an INFP although some test put me is ENFP and what I found refreshing was how this got beyond stereotypes. So many typologies use really strong stereotypes for the different personalities. INFP tends to be portrayed as this deep soulful artistic type in the corner writing poetry. I know a number of cool folks who are very much like that. However, I could see a lot of guys figuring they couldn't possibly be an INFP because they're not the soulful poet. That was where Sean's portrayal was so refreshing. Sean might write some kickass poetry for all we know but he also has been a soldier and likes sports and doesn't come across as the stereotypical INFP as portrayed in the typologies.
Very true, it's good to see people moving past these stereotypes. The one INFP I'm still in touch with is a uni professor in psychology and doesn't fit the poetic stereotype at all - I'm sure he'd make a better job of it than me though! I find that Ne-Te is pretty much overlooked in the MBTI community & Fi-Si very much misunderstood.
As an INFP, I was a nice child. Like I didn't do anything bad. I was very easy to handle because I listened to what my parents said. I didn't throw temper tandrums. In highschool I turned emo on the inside and on the outside, and a Otaku, in the end I didn't feel like I belong at all, so I was not really interessted in my classmates anymore even though I had friends in class, I just felt very disconnected. Today I also keep my circle of friends small.
One thing I want to point out is how the INFJ tends to be concise and in this case, described his childhood in 5 min whereas the INFP can really just go on with a subject like this and ended up taking double the time. haha I'm INFP and yep. I'd be rambling endlessly.
I've noticed both types struggle with self image and worrying about how others precieve them. I think it comes from two different places. INFPs, being Fi users, want everyone to like them based off of a need for inner harmony, where as INFJs seem to like it based on Fe external harmony. Either that, or In a mistyped INFJ/INTP with weird Fe :/
I don't understand your view on Fi in INFPs and I am one myself. I don't understand why someone would want everyone to like them based on a need for inner harmony... That makes no sense to me. Like if there are people around me fighting or being violent, I'm supposed to not care as long as they like me? But I understand the external harmony part, though. More rational.
@@tiptoes9847 a year ago comment but imma reply "around me" is the key part. It's Fi getting bothered about situation you can't run away from. And if the conflicting parties both like you, it's actually all the more difficult cuz you can't take sides.
Thank you for this talk. Oh gosh I can identify. I spent my life in my room. My sister was out and about with friends, My older brother was an extrovert as my whole family was except me. But he was rebellious and fearless and ran away from home twice. I just went to my room. That is where I felt safe. I don't feel so alone when I find other people who talk about their childhood like the both of you just did.
I see everyone saying how they shared similar experiences growing up. But as an INFP I often wonder if my personality changed completely growing up. I remember when I was a kid I was one of the most outgoing kids, always running to pick up every phone call (ironic since it’s one of my biggest social phobias now), was friends with everyone at school and loved to hang out with many different groups of friends, spent all my after school hours going to the houses of all the neighbouring kids to ask them to come out and play. Was hyper competitive (still is a little bit) in sports and often beat all the guys in PE (was a tomboy for sure) I felt like I was the definition of an extrovert when I was younger. But as I grew up and moved overseas with different cultures and a language barrier I started to become more introverted. Now I’m like a hermit honestly, I would go to great length to avoid or postpone tiresome social interactions (especially those involving large groups of people). And everytime I’ve taken the MBti my introversion comes out above 80% so I often wonder what happened lol Has everyone else always been consistent in their personality since young? Sometimes I feel like I have identified more closely with at least 2 other personally types in the past (enfp and isfj/esfj more specifically) other times I simply struggle to understand myself lol
@Gio Marrocco I have reason to believe the dominant axis (Fi-Te here) is born more fluid, so in healthy circumstances an INFP child will tend to be more assertive (Te leading) than their adult self :)
I'm an INFP. We are extremely similar. I related 100% to your 'friends' outlook. I do believe that a very high percentage of our personality type will say they had one very best friend throughout our school career. I had no desire to put my time and attention on gathering friends. I was quiet and stayed to myself and felt I was surrounded by cookie cutter classmates who were either to scared to be themselves or scared way to much about what others thought of them, making them feel they had to be what the 'popular' kids thought was cool. Don't think that it's not exactly same in our adulthood...it is. I had one or two best friends whom I still am extremely close to today. I took the time not to settle for unfulfilled relationships.
I have this notion that it indeed gets worse in adulthood at least for a lot of people I grew up with who still try and present some utopian existence on the likes of Facebook; it's very much keeping up with the Kardashian's! I'm an ENFJ but my small friendship circle is compromised of introverts. I think I've always wanted to be respected but popular not so much; I'm much happier left to my own devices.
My childhood was different..almost as if I was an enfp... until something changed. but my brother is an infp as well ... and it sounds much more similar to seans.
People can develop in all kind of ways. I have a cousin who was super-extroverted as a child but has grown more quiet, introspective, and artistic in her teens. It's not due to depression or trauma or anything (which can be a factor for some) - she's happy and has a good family and life. Sometimes people can discover a new side of themselves later in life - often during the period of 'self-discovery' that adolescence can be - that is so potent that it redefines their self-concept and priorities in life.
My first words were a sentence. I picked up a box and said, "What's this?" My childhood was spent very alone and in my head as well. You childhood sounds familiar. I was suspecting being an only child, played a role in my INFJ qualities, especially my Ni qualities.
Thanks for sharing your experiences. I can relate to much of what both of you said as an ISFJ because I've always been more introverted and shy which is why I had trouble finding friends (especially in secondary school). In the beginning I wanted to fit in and be accepted by others but as it didn't work I started caring less over the years and it probably didn't help that I'd rather be at home reading, drawing or being in my imagination and creating new worlds instead of meeting anyone. I'm happy though that I've found some friends later that could understand me on a deeper level.
Nice video, I consider myself an Infp. But my childhood can't really compare. I'm mean I was also terrible at talking to others, but I still had always had a good amount of friends. Often an extrovert took care of me ;) I also remembered being a lot in my dream world. I was so detached from reality that I constantly forgot what I was about to do. Thankfully that's in the past. I also remember some key moments in my kindergaden days. I strongly believed that every humans duty is to place the needs of others before the needs of oneself. Also I didn't realize for a long time that I am allowed to say no. Blew my mind when I found out that I was wrong. I'm 21 now and am obviously a really different person now. I think through practice I'm fairly good in talking to new people and I would not consider myself shy anymore. Still introverted though.
I'm already subbed to Sean, and I can relate to his experiences so much, as well as yours. I have a sister and we are 14 months apart, she's and ENFJ and I'm an INFP. She always made friends so easily and was more popular, and I always had a small friend circle. I'd hang with the misfits too and had an issue with tardiness! Haha. School gave me anxiety, but I was able to hide it pretty well for the most part. The only class that I ever really enjoyed was English. Lol Writing poetry was a great way for me to express myself. Now, when I look back on my old poems from when I was 12 and 13, I realize that there was always this sadness that was in me. I was really good at expressing it through writing. I don't know if any other INFPs or INFJs ever noticed the same. But great video! Subbed. 👍
Thank you for the sub!! My INFP sister also gravitated towards creative writing and used it as an outlet; INFJs I know (including myself) seem to gravitate more towards non-fiction and editing!
@@CognitivePersonality That's actually really interesting. I don't know if you've ever heard of Lauren Sapala, but she has a YT channel where she discusses the INFP and INFJ writer. I only recently came across her (I don't know why she doesn't have more subs), but a lot of writers fall under these two types. And you're welcome! Take care. 🦋🌻☀️
I think this is really good and maybe explains why the 2 are often mixed up, there are similarities despite being totally different functions.. it's still 1.Intuition 2.Feeling at the top.
Childhood and teenage hood was absolutely awful and traumatizing...and yet....I can't recall any specifics. I just know it hurt. And it was turbulent, and Se reckless. It was lonely and I legit had zero friendships....just some shadowy and hazy acquaintances. Left home at 14. ...(trauma survivor) I've always typed as infj. However I just recently typed as inTj for the very first time. I resonate with infp and Isfp as well. At the end of the day....20 years later and fully understanding cog functions, I can type others but not myself. I feel pretty much every cognitive function quite wholly with the exception of Si. Thanks for sharing your story and experience. 🤗 I resonate with both things that you and Sean stated. I find it interesting that Sean cannot recall his past vividly... Having tert Si. What do you think about this ? My youngest leads with Si and her connection to the past is so so strong and believably accurate. My eldest types INFP and she seems to recall some specifics, but her ability to recall details, facts, lyrics, etc is stronger than memories. I'd say I recall, really, only highly charged past memories. I wanted to fit in, deep down, but i just never could cause I never resonated with what they were doing or wanting to achieve...most students were incredibly overwhelming. I spent a lot of time analyzing the inner workings of other students. ...or lost in my own mind and feelings.
Re Si I think this is gonna be contingent upon whether it's divergent or convergent and the codec it's assigned to. It's worth noting that I'm a cognitive ENFJ with a highly active ISFJ subnetwork & my memory is awful . Types such as the ESFJ I'd imagine with divergent Si-Ti will have excellent recall and of course it's contingent upon what memories we're referring to - ie emotional substrate, recollection of past events etc.
Lol, from your description I should be INFJ, but I am positive I am INFP. ... My school didn't want to enroll me, because I didn't want to talk to anyone teachers included. 🤣 P.S. ok, people watching is super relatable... When my family had big parties, I'd get a book and sit on the floor by the wall, watching adults instead of playing with kids. I only played with kids if it involved physical activity, otherwise I would get bored, because my imagination was more vivid. 🤦
I'm raising what I believe to be an INFJ child. My husband and I are INFJ and INFP respectively. When people say "you have to socialize your child," I emotionally put up my hand and say (not out loud), "slow down there, buddy." People like us figure it out at our own pace, and being thrown into too many situations is only frustrating! Thank you for the story. Your story as an INFJ sounds identical to my husband's.
I hope parenthood is treating you well 😊. As a divergent ENFJ, I actually have somewhat of the 'opposite issue'....My son I believe is an ESTP or ENTP and he's highly socially extroverted...Given that I'm a social ambivert (at best) I often feel like I'm letting my son down...Yeah we do lots of extracurricular stuff etc but it terms of socialising my friendship group is pretty tight knit. I can't think of anything more abhorrent than mass play dates especially as a lot of the mums I know are very competitive (yup the usual fb posts about how amazing their life is etc & what a breeze parenthood is) - I just can't be doing with that kind of environment. I think you're right, it's important to social your child but at a pace which is very much befitting to their needs...The irony being children tend to get slammed with a variety of misdiagnosis's for not fitting into the social mode which is of course ludicrous for many kids. My own son has been suspected of having hyperactive ADHD by school (I do happen to agree with this) and I have ADHD too; it's interesting how it can manifest very differently in each cognitive type. Anyway, apologies for butting in, I'm hoping some of my introverted qualities might have something to offer son.
@@AnyaAnnika67 I feel very strongly that different children have different needs, and they do best if their caretakers are sensitive to those needs. I am in a heavily introverted family, so I haven't had to deal with the need your son has. My son is one who does not mix with other children. He observes from the outside. The social interactions we choose are limited but very consistent. I can imagine some challenges and also great joys in raising your son with his type of personality. I hope for the best for you!
Im an infj and my sister is an infp, we grew up being verry close together. We are more freinds than sisters, but ive noticed that as i got older our personalities clashed more often, cause we just think so diffrently. I feel licke she understands my imajinative emotinal side but not really my thought process. We dont clash terribly just sometimes, and we are still freinds. I think we need eachother, her peronality helps me realize how to care about myself and the big picture of things, while i help her care anout others and the specific details of things. I am verry lucky to have her and i hope were always freinds.
I'm an INFJ and I had an interesting shifting point in childhood. I live in Los Angeles and moved around a lot in addition to alternating between joint custody (my father suffers from undiagnosed mental illness and I learned a LOT when I was alone with him). I was very detached from kids in general and often found them destructive but I did always develop intense one on one friendships starting at 3 😆 but they never lasted because of moving. I actually played with boys a lot with physical activities (and was pretty athletic and played some team sports) and my close friendships were usually with girls. anyway, in 4th grade my mom had my IQ tested and I was sent to a highly gifted magnet. that completely changed my life because all the kids there were weird 😃 and my imagination was encouraged. I learned to socialize very confidently at that time. my mom finally settled down and I ended up in a conservative neighborhood where I was the rebellious kid 😆 but I actually had a great time there and met my long time best friend (INFP). we really tore that place up 🤣😉 I got along with all groups in HS but maintained my own group of collected misfits ☺️ my 2 closest friends as a teen were INFP and ISFJ and they tend to be the types I bond best with in general. for some reason my peers were usually intimidated by me before they got to know me. I guess that will always be true to a degree because people often don't know what to think of me. I'm curious how many INFJs have been teasingly referred to as howard hughes by their family 🙄😆
I’m an INFJ and I relate to your story so much. Now, I’m already in my 20s but I still find it hard to get out from head and start doing the little things (like making new friends, improvising, and standing up for myself). I often feel very anxious when I have to speak up my mind and be in the present. Do you have any tips for this? I could really use your help. Thanks 😊
For both: I (INFP) recognise your introversion when you were young, standing off to the side, not being popular and just having a few good friends, one here, one there. For the INFJ: I like how you say that around the age of 14, you started practising extraversion. That's the age your Fe was trying to develop, so it makes senceyou start practising it then. For the INFP: I recognise what you say a lot. I hated being the center of attention. When I turned 3, I had to sit on a chair on a table while people sung to me in preschool and I hated every moment. I also recognise the pretending to be superheroes, I lived that! It's the imaginativeside of us. As a teen I also wondered where I belonged because I understood both sides, which eventually meant I belonged to neither. I especially like how the INFP takes twice as much time in the video as the INFJ. That's Ne for you!
Can someone please help me here? I've been trying to decide between an INFJ or INFP for almost two years. There are important reasons for both... In this video I have to say Sean's childhood sounds closer to mine than Harry's. Unlike Harry's, it was very easy for me to make people like me, although I was clear that I did NOT like them (and their aggressiveness and behaviors that I so hated). Making them like me was a survival mechanism until I could be back home every day. Just like with Sean's childhood, whenever I went to a place where there were kids, my younger sister would go ahead happily and I would kick and scream and stay in the car if possible. As I grew up more and went on to high school (14 years old) my experience is also closer to Sean of feeling lost in the middle, never quite finding the people I could truly identify with. That's very different from Harry's experience who seemed to have started playing the game and finding his self worth. At the same time, just like Sean I really wish I had joined sports earlier. I'm confused how an INFJ can have Harry's childhood experience (before year 10). I thought INFJs were masters of what other people want and giving it to them. Or does Fe not develop until a later age and perhaps this is a very good sign of the differences between INFJs and INFPs? How could an INFP child be so good at seemingly fitting in (from the outside - in the inside completely lost and dettached) without Fe...? HELP PLEASE!
Confidence, upbringing and what you value often goes a longer way than cognitive functions here. That being said, I recommend you check out my INFJ vs INFP type comparison!
@@gehdochnicht Maybe we can ask Harry for help? If we both send a mail to him, he could make the connection ? If that's ok with you and him, of course...
Very interesting video. When I first discovered the MBTI, I remember reading blogs and articles on personality development. I was curious to understand if our personalities are innate such that our true nature can be traced back to our childhood. There are remaining question marks on my behalf. Thanks for both testimonials
Thanks Nelly! The nature/nurture argument runs strong in this area too - I do believe there is a strong genetic component to type (and would argue our genes themselves are a form of personality) to such an extent to be determined from birth. That being said, different upbringings and life experiences can create the radical difference that can exist between two people of the same type. Hope all's well.
INFP has fit me best through various attempts to determine a type, and this is no exception. The INFP's storytelling is less comprehensive and more focused on specific important events and people. That would be more like me. I'm still unconvinced, though. I think I just resist the idea of being typed because I feel quite fluid and want to be "allowed" to remain so. What type or types would be most likely to struggle with intense fear of impacting other people negatively, or is that just a symptom of a type of dysfunction and not a type characteristic at all?
This certainly sounds congruent to Convergent Fi, as responsibility and care for others is taken from an internally relational perspective. But, what you describe can of course be shared by other types, but INFP sounds quite possible.
You both possesed introverted intuition so being a part of a small circle sounds right. You would have easily been able to assess who would go into your friend zone. We introverts are always deeply looking at the world around us trying to figure out where we might fit. I'm thankful for maturity when we discover we don't have to! Great video!
@@cazbee6126 thanks for the clarification. I think I was more associating with Sean's comments about the bullying and having a solitary friend. I was able to connect with his feelings of not really fitting in with the " high school" stereotypes.
I just wrote a whole long post and deleted it! Typical infp!😂 Lets just say, I’m a wife and mom of adult children and I can totally relate! I’m not sure it ever changes! God bless!!
Just listening to the two of you, Harry seems much more thinking and logic oriented than Sean. Harry seems to follow a well thought out stream of talking about his childhood. It's organized and sequential. Sean talks in a more in a non-sequential, "grab this thought", then "grab that thought" kind of way. I'm an INFP and that's how I talk as well. People often say that INFPs don't show their emotional side, but Harry seems to not show his emotional side, while Sean seems more feeling oriented. Just an observation from an INFP.
I related to a lot of what you were saying about early childhood, Harry. I also remember way back to age 2 and actually remember sitting in my driveway with a hammer (who let me play with a hammer?? 🤷♀️) I named it "Mrs. Hammer head" because the part you use to pound nails in with looked like a lady's bun in her hair. I'd talk to the hammer and make up scenarios around that and seldom lived in reality. When I got older, I never really learned how to play the social game very well though. I also related a lot to what your friend was saying except I have always had a very good and detailed memory, almost a mechanical memory. Stress, trauma and chronic illness have dampened that now somewhat, but in general I still have a better recall than the average bear.
@@CognitivePersonality don't even get me started on me staring at the backs of chairs in restaurants or at wallpaper as a kid. I'd see faces, animals, roads, whatever and totally leave the building. The adults would be like...Melanie what are you doing? 😂
I would always go off and hide somewhere as kid because I wanted to be alone, A lot of the time I’d sneak off to this Forrest area where no on was supposed to go but I’d go there a lot to observe. A lot of the time I’d hide away because I was bullied in primary school and abused by my parents so I’d just want to think and imagine about things and escape from reality. Every time I got hurt by my bullies if I couldn’t go to the Forrest I’d hide under a table of go to behind a curtain and feel comforted that I could just watch the world and escape from my life and myself and just become nothing but a pair of eyes. Now I’m 15 and I still of this urge due to escapism however I am not so small anymore so it’s harder to hide away, more responsibilities. I want to find a hiding place again, however I have friends now, I have a friendship group that I am in however most of them r more of very distant friends I interact with if I see them accidentally however don’t purposefully seek them. However I have two friends who r my best friends I spend time with them a lot and I like being with them, a lot of the time we would hang out in the park and just chill. I remember once on Halloween at night we went to that park in the dark and played hide and seek in the dark, it was so fun. I love them so much. One day if I find a good hiding spot I might do something that I have never done before, share my hiding place or show them my hiding place. Maybe if I have a significant other I could lay with them in the hiding space.
I was popular just not in the "normal" I just wanted to know everyone how they think learn about their culture etc. And I went to the same school in the same city K-6 then 7-8 then high school so I gained a lot of friends by high school. I was a big time protector I stood up to bullies all by myself - INFJ
I made my first best friend in 3rd grade, and my second one in 6/7th grade. We're all still best friends till this day and will be till the end ~ 21 yr old INFP Female
I did the personality test twice and I first got INFP but then did it a second time and got ENFP. Is it possible to be in the middle as in my life I feel as though I’ve been both and just changed back and forth
As an INF* who has been into MBTi for 20 years and studied psychology and psychometric (and still can type as either of both and struggling to figure it out), Harry's account to me, sounds like the quintessential INFP. I could relate to at least 90% of it and the only bits that didn't were the bits around his masculinity, being a cisgender woman. I am not type policing and believe everyone is unique in their expression but it did at least sound more INFP. Sean's account sounded like it could have been almost any introverted type. There didn't seem to be anything there that screamed INFP. INFPs are usually not that observant of their surroundings or the group and although cautious, often want to jump into different experiences with their auxiliary Ne function. INFPs are usually far more in their own worlds and imagination, even moreso than INFJs. If anything INFJs are more focused on the group and where they fit in due to their auxiliary Fe. INFPs are not really interested in hierarchies or where the fit in and if anything, focus more on how they stand out. Apart from being a bit quiet and not very sociable or popular, there wasn't much I could relate to in Sean's account although I appreciate his sharing. Unusual too that he ended up in the military as INFPs find it particularly hard to conform to rules and rigid structures. This could be in part, cultural as I grew up in the UK, like Harry. These accounts could have been influenced by their enneagram types too as there are many different flavours of INFP and INFJ. That's my thoughts on this video.
After watching one of your other videos (how to tell if someone isn't an INFJ) and reading more info elsewhere since this comment, I am even more sure that I am INFJ as I had typed originally and maybe that is why I did identify more with your childhood Harry. I do think some of the things you mentioned sound quite INFP too but it does sound more INFJ actually. Goes to show how easy it is to mistype between the two as some of the differences are very subtle and of course, there will always be individual differences. I found the other video extremely useful and refreshing by staying away from the dicotomoes and stereotypes, so thank you.
I wish that this video helped lol. I’m trying to type for my son. He typed as an INFJ but there are some very strong INFP traits he has too. Because I cannot internalize accurately his brain functions and he’s too young to probably explain it adequately, I guess my search continues... he is 13 years old and not quite developed so he’s hard to type... at least for me as an INTJ mom who wants to be factual and accurate. The good news is it’s a project that I can work on and I have time haha :)
Owing to Sean's life experiences he definitely appears more on the 'S' side of the dichotomy, but this is also why I don't think the dichotomies work - behaviour can change and intuitves can develop more 'S-like' mannerisms as they become more grounded in the concrete reality. Cheers!
I, thankfully, was put around a lot of other children at an early age. I had a very large family with many children my age that I would spend all day with. My God Mother also babysat all the teacher's and principal's children, and she had 3 children and the 4 of us were all 2 years apart. 2 boys above me and a girl above us 3. The lady across the street from my God Mother also watched teachers children. I was with all those children all year round since I was 2 years old. I thought this was for the fact that I was an only child, but my mother did this because she was a lonely child having hypoglycemia and passing out 4-5 times a day until she was 7 or 8 years old, so she had to stay close to home. Quick questions: How many siblings did you have? What number sibling were you? What is your mother's type? How tall is your mother? How much did you weigh when you were born? I ask these questions because I have a theory and I need data to see if it's more than a theory or not and if it is some of these questions help expand on the theory itself. If I am right I will share my findings. Thank you!
Hai Harry, can you add subtitles to your video? English is not my first language so it is difficult to listen and understand your material at one time.
I'm definitely going to look into making this a possibility, as while I do not think it will be easy I understand many people would benefit from me adding subtitles :)
I can relate to both of you, as an ISTJ. Lone wolf, authentic, and observer could describe me. In my own head, but learning about others, even if I couldn't play their game. Not that I wanted to, but I did wish that others were more like me, having a distaste for conflict or even lack of kindness. It took me a long time to accept my own more aggressive behaviors. However, you're probably Enneagram 4's (or have 4 wings) unless you're E9, and I relate more to 5w6.
Ahh thank you for this! I do agree ISTJs can share this similarity with INFPs, INFJs and INTJs when growing up. I'm not a huge proponent of the enneagram but, yes, I would be loosely considered a 4w5 (4-5-8) within this system!
@@CognitivePersonality thanks for your answer, but I've recently changed my opinion about my type: I now believe it to be INTJ. It was hard to give up the idea of being on the Si/Ne axis and harder for me to grok what Ni actually means in my own life. After watching quite a few more RUclips videos feel I'm putting things together much better. Thanks again!
Sean is most likely an Ne user than Se, but like many grounded INFPs I agree he would likely receive an 'S' in terms of behaviour (rather than cognition) :)
@@CognitivePersonality I think he has Se and Ni, here's why: 5:41 "my mom used to say that.."- seeing reality through other people's eyes when telling a stroy- Se "I watched everyone and was trying to collect data"- Se observation, seeing what other peoople are doing 6:19 describing the overall environment around those experiences 7:17 "this is what humans do"- Se 7:47 descibing what his sister was doing- again seeing reality through other people's eyes- Se Also Sean describes multiple experiences- Se which had the same pattern -Ni he does not describe one particular expiernce - (no Si), he sees what was repeated in the past multiple times(example- "my sister was introducing me to other people and I didn't like it"- she has done it multiple times and it was the pattern in his life that was repeated) . 8:20 - again what his sister was doing and it was repeated(she used to gain friends that way)- it's not a singular experience. 9:27 "watching how the boys would act" -Se 10:06 one theme- isolation (Ni) throughout high school experience- Se 10:31 describing the environment, what they used to do Se, 10:42 desciribing groups and their behavior and seeing his own group as what it looked like on the outside- Se "I was absent a lot"- again describing a whole experience and what was the main theme. 11:34 describing his experience in a way that everyone can relate to "there are always those guys and girls" and "you are in that group of people"- the listener can relate to it, because it's the universal experience(Ni), not his own specific(no Si) 11:43- what society would say- Se 11:58- describing his circle- Se and the main trait- "genuine type of person"- Ni 12:05 what other people see- Se and being aware of what experinece he gives off to other people by the way he dresses and where he stands etc. 13:15 "my goal was to come home after school" - again one main theme describing many days at school, also being focused on what he wants- Ni, not what school, teachers wanted from him(no Ne). Also his eye movements- he is focused on one point then comes back to the centre in quick movement.(between two points)Typical Ni- Se eyes. He is looking right to the camera with focus- high Se His body language- he has an image in his head that he wants to describe and he uses his hands to shape the image. Ni- Se 6:53 (I'm not a native english speaker, so I apolagize for any mistakes)
@@Julia-ey4zd I enjoyed and appreciated your in depth analysis - it's refreshing to have points like these backed up my coherent argument. That being said, I do think much of these points don't necessarily relate to specific cognitive stacks - it is extremely common for INFPs to employ Ne to observe more than ISFPs employ their Se to observe, and the observations of the INFP are more macroscopic which seems congruent with Sean's account. And, honesty, Sean has so many signs of Ne and comparatively less of Ni, so even if he had a high Se use I would not rule out INFP :)
...what in the world is going on down here!?!? 🤣😂🤗 Yeah Julia, obviously everything is subjective and your opinion is there for your taking in this realm. I will say that I have studied this stuff for over 10 years and not just one angle of psychological self research or just from simply taking a test on 16 personalities and running with that. When I discovered the psychology stuff at age 29 (39 now) I dove extremely hard into everything and never let up because of my initial fascination with it all. There’s a ton more triangulation to personalities outside of just MBTI and I was determined to find my “true preferences” amongst it all (INFPs generally go pretty deep with this stuff). It’s hard to depict the true personality of someone from a 20 min video especially when an INFP facing all things of social media (“he can’t be INFP - he must be an extrovert cause he’s on video talking - we INFPs don’t do video!!”) is not a super comfortable place for which somethings may come out slightly different looking than when they are being super INFP in the comfort of their own home / head talking to no one. So yes, I am also one who understands that to be greater successful in this world one should not only play in your primary cognitive functions / stereotypes so I - like all of us - use all the functions everyday (to what degree is based on the individual and how much they “need” to use them). The last 20 years of my work life has had me more in higher stressed, fast paced, non-ideal jobs for an INFP for which I had to play in my shadow functions (to be successful and not get fired) developing those to a high degree. One thing I can EASILY say is that Ne is my absolute most favorite function and is highly responsive/ functioning - I use Ni when needed, but DEFINITELY not happy using any singular idea and rarely can I get down to that area but know how and when I need to. So yeah, just talking it all out here and if you feel you see me as ISFP then so be it. For me I just know personally of the amount of work (stress) I’ve had to endure towards all the other functions and at my age feel I’m an overly developed mash-pit of a lot of stuff which can obviously exude other functions in a short video from all that exposure. However, my preferences I know confidently lay to that of the INFP. Nice to meet you Julia, and thanks for watching our little video 👍🏻🤙🏻 Sean
@@Julia-ey4zd Not here to pinpoint which type Sean actually is, but "seeing reality through other people's eyes" is not Se, or at least not what I've learned so far. It's more likely Fi Ne Si.
I love Sean's Se energies - I do think his experiences have allowed him a good Se dip, but conversing with him multiple times has made me confident his type is INFP :)
I know an INFP who comes across extremely similar to Sean; he's a lecturer so it's gonna be tantamount that he does develop a healthy Se dip. I'm a divergent ENFJ and you wouldn't spot my Se from a mile off most of the time.
Both childhood experiences resonate with me, an ISFP. For three years I was convinced I was an INTJ (because I don't fit into the "airhead" ISFP stereotype) but after watching Harry's videos and reading his book, I realize that I am indeed an ISFP. As an ISFP child, with an INFP mom, I feel like I see a lot of overlap between the two types- perhaps also because I have developed Si and she Ni. I would prefer to spend a lot of my time alone- doing what Harry did and spending a lot of time imagining; I would actually sometimes sit in a chair and play a whole game in my head, inventing all the characters- almost like a "mind" play. In school as a child I was somewhat (unwillingly!) popular, perhaps because I would always come up with interesting things to do, but in actuality I really one had a few close friends who I would consistently be with. I liked playing with other children, but I never felt bored, and sometimes preferred to play/draw/make mud pies by myself. Most of my friends, past and present, are INFP, ISFP, INTP, ENFJ, and ENTP.
I'm happy to have provided clarity in that regard :) It's interesting, so many Ni-activated ISFPs have a similar penchant for solitude, throughout childhood especially.
@@CognitivePersonality Some theories said that one's "tertiary" /convergent auxiliary function isn't activated until later in life, but I can definitely say that I've had Ni since probably 6-7 years old or even younger, hence the INTJ conclusion. (I also didn't speak for a long time, until I was three actually, partially because my thoughts seemed so loud I just assumed other's could hear!) However, although I had a strong sense of myself from a young age, I wouldn't say that I felt like an adult. I was very much a feeler and would cry and laugh at every beautiful thing I saw, and would love to be in the moment. I'd say for me personally Fi is so strong and innate that I thought I had Ni first because I was so much more aware of it, but upon sustained reflection I think that every action/choice I make is derived from Fi. For a while I felt like an INTJ/INFP crossbreed, but after watching/reading about the three personalities from your description (INTJ, INFP, ISFP) I realized that I am definitely an ISFP with an early activation of Ni, and also activated Si, as well as a somewhat balance of Fi with Te. Anyways, thank you for your nuanced explanations of the type. I really love your videos, and your theories-- my mom (INFP) and I have both benefitted from them tremendously. Thank you for all that you do!!!
Thanks again Harry for welcoming me over into your world 👍🏻. Stay safe over there across the pond!
Sean
Same to you my friend - likewise, it was a pleasure to swap stories with you!
Yeah for sure Serra no problemo - we had a good time creating it! It’s a lot more easy to just let stuff out comfortably when you find ones who are of a similar crowd opposed to the majority out there who can quickly shut us low percentage “weirdos” down with our views on life. As said in the video INFJs / INFPs are largely different, but there is definitely this strong relatable understanding between the types I have come to find...
Sean
@@INFPHD Awww I love that your sister loved bragging on you ☺️
No Liza no. More attention than I was looking for during those times...😎
@@INFPHD I always wanted a brother. I'm projecting ☺️
As an INFP, my mother said that when I was 5 years old, I didn't prefer to mingle with kids of my age.
Instead, I prefer to sit down and listen to the conversations of older people (grandpas and grandmas), just listening as if I'm also an older person.
I totally did that as a kid, my siblings would go off to play while I'd sit by the grown up and listen to their stories
Same with me. Someone once commented that INTPs and INFPs often seem mature beyond their years as children and childlike as adults. Personally, I relate to that.
I was very active as a kid when I was 4 or 5 years old...and I'm an INFP...but as I got older I became more and more introverted...I CANNOT get close to more than 2 people...I can't...
@@JF59122 me too.
Trustworthiness is something that they must show first instead of mere words. Not because of what they say, but why they do (the genuine intent).
In return, they'll have my best reliability in terms of favor and especially trust.
Yes I was an old soul too
I think teenage is pretty much painful for intuitive introverts. Well for me it was.
Definitely can be.
Definitely was for me. Hardest time of my life.
Definitely is.
ENFJ just meandering around here again! Ditto, I think I solidified my Fe-Se+ so much through academia I was very much a loner save for the fact I had a 'ready made' social circle thanks to my twin sister. Perhaps this is due to occupying a divergent subtype for so long but I'm still pretty happy in my own head now. It does get lonely though so it's been nice to find like minded individuals (or at least those with similar intellectual interests) through the discord server.
Thank you guys for sharing, from another member of “uncool” childhood club.
Our pleasure :D
As an INFP myself, I agree with what Sean said about finding INFJs very relatable. I find it interesting & quite fascinating that despite our different cognitive functions, INFJs & INFPs often times tend to have similar experiences, interests, & senses of humor. I think that INFJs & INFPs are "kindred spirits". 😊 I've heard another INFJ RUclipsr "Molly The Person" describe INFJs & INFPs as "sibling types". 💕 Great video, Harry! 👏🌻☀️
Heh, I grew up with an INFP sibling so can especially relate to that sentiment! I do find this to be so often the case :)
Ciera I've felt the same, I've been calling INFJs personality cousins 😆 I can relate to so many of INFJ experiences, it's amazing. 💞
Amazing, my best friend is an INFP. We’ve been friends since middle school and now are looking for a place to move into together. Kinda scary, but super exciting!! I’m sure we’ll have an awesome time. We’re great influences on each other. He keeps me excited and I keep him grounded. We have such a commitment to our friendship and improving our lives... truly one of my favorite relationships in my life.
This is the reason why I get confused of whether I’m a INFP or INFJ
I grew up as an INFP though I would say I was not as introverted as many. On a good day I am more of an ENFP. But much of what was said here did resonate with me. It was high school sports that brought me out. My parents forced me to play, even though I was not the best I did make the team.
Had I not been involved in after school sports I think I would of been much more introverted.
I love the clear difference in ne vs ni storytelling here
Me too!!
LOVED this open honest communication, thanks guys.
INFJ. I was a very shy child. Reaching high school was still internally socially stressful. Started to come out of it in the last 3 years (age 16-18). Had to keep pushing into the discomfort in my early 20s. Had to learn to gabber on about nothing.
I'm alot older now and still sometimes listen to myself 'socialising' and think... what are you gibbering on about 😂 but it comes very naturally now.
I relate a lot to this! I so often have the same experience to you - I socialise with people all the while observing myself in exactly the same manner. I'm glad I acquired the skill though and do genuinely enjoy impacting the social atmosphere :)
Meanwhile the ENFJ over here is introverting lol. I find I have a strange visceral pull towards interaction & I'm probably better at ameliorating conflicts than I give myself credit for but I do equally enjoy just observing. I did find it odd the other day when someone referred to me as having a strong personality & described me as 'tenacious'; it's ironic that our own self concept can indeed be very different. I love cognitive introverts & social introverts in general; it always baffled me why a lot of your more social extroverts would deduce that there wasn't much going on beneath the surface. I wish my Ni-Ti despite being more convergent be more 'naturally' that way - it was the secret source to BSing my way through exams anyway (even if I didn't have adequate Si dip then it was pretty easy to 'make up sh*t n get away with it 😂). Dear, INFP, please throw some of that Fi-Si my way too; one of my best tutors was an INFP - the intellectualism of this type is highly underrated in MBTI circles.
It was really awesome to watch how I as an INFP have similar kind of bodylanguage as this INFP guy here when I feel comfortable with my conversation partner - broad, fast and liquid handmovements, like trying to swim in air, dance in the soup of ideas. I also think that makes me a pretty good improvisational dancer. :P And those ''excited'' type of Ne eye movements! Also, your experiences are very relatable. I love this channel!
Really interesting observations! Thank you :)
I’m an infp and I can relate to these both childhoods
This is often the case :)
I'm vacillating between INFP and ISFP (once again), and ditto about relating to both!
("Ditto" is such a strange word, isn't it?)
It is so interesting to note that stories have similarities but the approach is different. INFJ has already thought of his childhood, he has interpreted his own behaviour and others' behaviour, and in the video he gives a summary with key points. While INFP is reliving his memories when he describes them.
Great video, thank you to both of you for sharing. 💕
Thank you so much for this video! I'm an INFJ and most of my friends are INFPs and ENFPs. It's amazing how similar we often are in our behavior. We seem to speak the same language. The differences are on a much deeper level and they are fascinating. I did interviews with my INFP friends to understand Introverted Feeling. With Fe and Fi it's like coming from different directions, developing closer and closer to each other, both searching for the middle ground to find balance.
Beautiful analogy! I agree, this can so often be the case :)
As an INFP close to the edge with both INFJ and ISFP, so much of this is relatable. Thanks for sharing your stories.
Thank you - it was our pleasure :)
An infp that breaks stereotypes and is in the military…awesome to see!
This is so interesting, coming over from Sean's channel, happy to connect with you too Harry.
I wonder how much culture plays part in how we interact from our dispositions. I was born in Tanzania 🇹🇿, moved to England in my early teens, lived there for almost 20 years before moving to the US. I see very different versions of myself whenever I moved to.
I remember feeling like I spent a lot of time alone in my childhood. Although my mother says that wasn't so, I have two brothers and loads of cousins. We were always around people. Those interactions aren't always at the forefront of my mind unless I'm actively talking about something specific. I recall more vividly times I spent in contemplation or solitude. I think the feeling of "loneliness" in my childhood was less to do with not being around people but rather feeling like not many people could relate to my imaginations and way of being. Moving to England allowed me to explore more of my creativity than I had done when I was in Tanzania. I had less pressure to be around people and could dive into books 📚 and movies 🎥 and plays ▶️ uninterrupted. I could just get lost in it all without interruption.
This video helped me think about all this. I really enjoyed it.
Hey Dory, thanks so much for sharing your own story (and for the accompanying kind words)!
I would absolutely imagine culture to have an absolutely huge influence on such matters - I imagine the contrast between Tanzanian and British culture was significant!
@@CognitivePersonality yes the contrast was significant. To some degree I was prepared for that. I wasn't however prepared for the culture shock moving from Englad to the US. I figured there wouldn't be that big of difference, boy was I wrong 😅
I'm glad to have discovered your channel and looking forward to more of your content.
@@MsDoryLinda I've heard similar things from friends who have visited the US!
Thank you, I appreciate it :)
Hearing you talk this way left me hungry for more.
:)
Thank you very much for sharing this. I can relate with every word of yours. I also was a lone wolf, and I could say, an observant kid. Played by myself and enjoyed watching others behaviour. Learned how to socialise later, by will.
Thanks Vivien - that does sound very similar, and I definitely relate to that 'by will' part!
I don’t know how this comment became sooo long. That’s PART of my childhood. Brace yourself.
I’m an INFJ. In my childhood I was actually quite sociable, rather easily making new acquaintances from very young. Of course, I was shy in some situations, but overall I was also quite bold and I always had friends (1 or 2 that were very close to me and a couple more that were more like play buddies). I’ve been part of friend groups with 5-10 people. So by now you might think “she’s a mistyped extrovert, an imposter!”. Well, not at all. I’ve ditched my friends so many times so I could play home alone, but I just didn’t have any problems making friends in the first place. I guess I’ve been drawn to people from the very start and whatever imagining or thinking I did, it was mostly about people. I think I fit well with the stereotype of the social chameleon although I’ve always felt somewhat older than the kids my age and the older I became the more difficult it became finding people who were fun to talk to and hang out with. I had my crisis in 9th grade (15yo) after spending my 8th grade actively socialising and getting acquainted with most of the 8 graders only to find out that none of them clicked with me. That’s when I started to feel really lonely. I was never on bad terms with anyone, while there were year long conflicts amongst the other kids. I thought of a lot of them in a positive way but no one felt familiar. I didn’t have that best buddy to sit in class with anymore and it sucked, I mostly sit alone. And It’s not that I was an outsider cause I talked and got along with everyone. But it was so fucking lonely. Now that I’m in college I have a group of friends who have similar interests as me and although we’re all very different that’s what makes me love them even more. I love groups. The 5 year period without a friend group was the most lonely period in my life. And I still had two best friends at that time and some more which I hung out with from time to time, but I needed to have someone right by my side in everyday life.
BTW there was some verbal bullying and some “playing around” with my things (and other kids’ things ‘cause apparently that’s “fun”) until 7 grade and I’ve had a couple of really bad moments because of it, but kids were just young and stupid, that’s how I think of it now. Mainly because some of them treated me well after some time, and with some of them I’ve played even. They develop some sense around 7 grade, that’s why I didn’t have such problems after that.
Actually this whole thing has a point and I almost lost it on the way.
There are a lot of factors like how you were raised by your parents, did you have siblings, what is the culture of your country and even your city. It’s not all about your type, that’s why I would’ve liked it if these things were mentioned.
My mother has always let me walk ahead, chose the path, she encouraged me to take the lead, she praised me, trusted me with my grades even when I had a poor performance, let me roam around the city more freely as long as she knew where I were and when I would come home (from the age of 10 maybe) while other kids weren’t allowed to leave the neighbourhood. I had an older brother to play and to fight with. I also moved around a lot, I’ve lived in 2 cities, I’ve been to 6 different schools, hence I didn’t have a choice but to meet new people and develop my social skills. And so on. I think those are important factors in how my childhood unfolded.
If you read this far, you are a warrior! Thank you!
Oh yes, I certainly wouldn't say my childhood experience is in any way representative of INFJs as a whole - I've been acquanted with plenty of INFJs who, while certainly of a different thought pattern to other kids, took to the social game and identity formation rather well!
As you say, there are many many factors superfluous to cognitive type that affect ease of upbringing (I particularly appreciate the reference to culture!) so I certainly wouldn't say it is unusual for an INFJ to adapt more quickly and effectively such as in your case.
Yeah! I read up to the end. I am a warrior. ⚔ I very much agree that many different factors are influencal. 👍👍
I'm INFJ too and I totally relate to what you're saying. I do really feel like the "extroverted introvert" INFJs are described as.
I have always been good at adapting to my social surroundings. I grew up with an older brother and younger sister and always had friends, was in friend groups in school and college and tend to get along with most everyone. But I also know the feeling of loneliness very well, cause getting along with people really isn't enough. When I don't have a partner or a best friend, whom I can talk to all the time, someone who knows and "get's" me, I can easily feel lonely, even if there's other people I could call.
Also the tricky thing for me always seems to be finding the right balance between contact and alone time. I get worn out, when I'm around people for too long and lonely, when I don't see anyone for more than one or two days.
I'm 30 now and this balancing act of social interaction seems to stay a daily struggle. But it does help to know about the cognitive functions to explain some of what I'm experiencing. Also working on strenghthening my boundaries and feeling of groundedness seems to be helpful, because it allows me to stay within myself more rather than totally adapting to the person I'm around.
Greetings from Berlin!
"I've ditched my friends so many times so I could play home alone" Thank you, this is so accurate to my primary school time.
And in the last two years of high school I got finally more comfortable with my class. They saw me as a friend, but I found it really hard to call them so (until the last year).
Мирела Димитрова I’m not sure you’re an INFJ.
So, a friend has posted several of your videos, and to be honest, of all the different channels I've watched over the years of MBTI, yours is probably the one that has made the most sense to me personally.
I was able to relate to a lot of what you said. As a child, I spent the majority of my formative years and on through high school, in my head. I never really had an idea as to, as you said, play the game. I grew up in a small town where sports was a big event, not having any interest in those sort of displays of machismo, I stayed in my head and mostly outcasted by the majority, which was okay by me as I had trouble relating to others. I still have trouble trying to express myself in a way that people will understand but I've gotten better at it over the years.
In short, thanks to both of you for sharing and posting this. I feel sharing such experiences are helpful in letting other people know they aren't alone in their experiences and can open up about them.
Ahh thank you so much for this, it means a lot to hear!
Sports were also a big part of the culture I grew up in so that didn't help my fitting in either, hah. Sometimes learning what are in reality incredibly complex social skills and relational ability does take a while, but I do think those who have found their own path doing so are at a certain advantage to those for whom the application is more natural :)
No problem - I know both me and Sean are passionate about creating a space for people to share such experiences without judgement and, honestly, being a bit different in this regard has its own advantages and is nothing to be ashamed of.
Bonjour Harry :)
I had been wondering for a long time whether I was INFJ or INFP. This video helped solidify my recent conclusion that INFP fits me better. I'll be sure to check out Sean's channel in a sec.
What struck me most here : though you both described not taking part in the "social game" during childhood, it sounds like, as INFJs, the skill can be acquired, whereas INFPs are more prone to struggle with it even through adulthood.
Or am I drawing too general conclusions from your testimonies here ?
Staying tuned, cheers from France !
I am an INFP as well, and I agree with your idea that INFPs tend to struggle socially even into adulthood. Dealing with social interactions/ relationships doesn't come as naturally to us as it does for other personality types. However, every personality type has their own strengths & weaknesses, and I believe that we all have the ability to overcome our personal struggles/ challenges with practice (and patience!). I hope you have a great day! Blessings! 💖🌻🦋
Bonjour@@cierahayes :)
I totally agree with you, each type has its talents !!! By no means was I implying that this particular observation meant that INFPs were "not as good" as other types. It just seemed to me that it might be helpful, to gain clarity, when you've been stuck in the " INF? zone " and you can't decide if you identify more with P or J.
Practice and patience... I hope you are right !!! Sometimes it feels like I have been working soooooooooooooooooo hard for soooooooooooooooo long on understanding how to fit in (exactly what Sean says here) yet, progress is scarce...
(Actually, I would say that I have a better vision of what SHOULD be done, but still, doing it drains me almost immediately.)
Would you say you can see yourself evolving in that field ?
I wish you a great day as well, all hearts and flowers and butterflies too :) :)
Thanks Claire! Sean has a great channel and I highly recommend :)
Interesting hypothesis - I'd say INFPs can very much acquire the skill, but tend to do so in a more 'Te' manner which can be less intuitive than an INFJ simply 'coming into' their Fe like I did :)
@@kcl7864 Hello! :) I totally understood what you meant in your comment! 👍 You didn't come across as being "negative" at all-- no worries! 🌻 I think the observation you expressed certainly could help bring clarity to someone dealing with the "P or J question".
On the subject of: understanding how to "fit in"-- Any progress (no matter how small it may seem) is STILL progress! 😊 I heard someone say recently that it is better to be at 1% than 0%! Lol! Ultimately though, the right people will accept you just as you are, so don't be shy about standing out in a crowd/ apart from a crowd. ;)
As far as my own "evolution" in the field of socializing... It's a continual work in progress! 😅 I've pretty much been in "hermit-mode" for many years (Lol!), but for the past few months I've been trying to challenge myself to try some new things & interact more with people. Chatting with nice people like you in the comments section of RUclips has helped me greatly & encouraged me to be less timid when it comes to socializing. (I find that writing about my thoughts & emotions comes much easier than speaking them aloud. Do you feel the same way?)
I wish you much success on your journey of self-discovery/ improvement! You are unique & important! Your path in life is your very own, and I believe you will find your way! Never give up! :) :) 💖
@@cierahayesLike you, I feel more comfortable writing than I am speaking.
So cool that you are challenging yourself and obtaining growth from it 👍👍👍
Say, do you have any particular INFP ressources that you enjoy online ?
INFP here, I can relate to both of your stories. I was also very quiet, observing, always in my fantasy world. Unfortunately growing up under very difficult circumstances, my father being an alcoholic, my mother being depressed, and me being neglected and constantly critisized because "I was not like the other boys, too quiet, too sensitive, too much of an outsider", etc. It was actually a nightmare. School too from the age of 14 onwards, a horrible youth. When I moved away from my hometown aged 19 it took me more than 10 years to somehow recover from my terrible childhood and find my path in life. After all those years of fighting from a young age onwards I hope I can retire early from my career within the next 2 years and then rediscover myself.
Funny how closely it correlates with my experience and that of my INFP partner... similar similarities and similar differences and also similar ways of breaking it down afterwards. Great content as always!
It is so interesting isn't it? And thanks!
Liked. Subscribed. Saved. Shared.
Very clear, deeply resonating.
(I've seen quite a few of your videos since seeing you and David. This is by far my favorite you've done (since)).
"Got plenty of alone time, but it wasn't always by choice...I wasn't accepted, I wasn't playing the game,.. I hated aggression, full stop. I was just a bit weird. Enjoyed use of imagination.(was my strongest)." Eye opening. Really identified.
Sean, your a very sweet INFP!
Thankyou both so much for sharing your stories. It helped me understand my own. I know it will help me and my infp bff, too. It's really neat how you both did have some similarities in your childhoods. Really neat, my infp bff and I also had similar childhoods to eachother, and to what each of you described, respectively.
Thank you both.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!
Thanks Kalina for the kind words - pleasure to meet you 🤙🏻🤗
Sean
My experience of growing up as an INFP is that I was very much into my own world where I made up creatures and created my own fantasy world with different languages that I developed with their own alphabet and cultures. I was so much into this world where I would spend time writing about it or drawing it during school time that I was near to failing every subject except for creative writing class. The friends I played with would by increments learn about these worlds from my imagination because I wasn't terribly interested in sharing my inner world. I would make up games with friends to pretend to be mice or fairies or would create a story that even if my friends didn't want to play these games I would still play them in my head even if we were playing something else as a group (e.g. kickball). The thing I learned fairly young was there was protection in having a group to belong to even though deep down I really didn't care to belong to a group. If anything, being with other people distracted me from my fantasy world which is where I preferred to stay. Playing sports was required and I ran a lot during that time but I mostly did it to feel free but I didn't really engage in being competitive. It was very common for people to tell me I was weird but that hardly meant anything to me. It wasn't unusual for me to wear a cat costume under my clothes to school and even loved these bloomers that I wore that showed under my dress that even the teacher was wondering why I was wearing that to school and gave me funny looks. My mother was always having to talk to the Principal and teachers at the school because I tested well but didn't do my school work. I told my parents that doing homework was pointless if it wasn't going to get me into Heaven so what does it matter? I had a very morbid sense from early on (probably by age 8) that everything we did on this Earth was going to be wiped away by death so it was nearly pointless.
Just from the thumbnail I could see Sean’s INFP eyes sparkling! lol :)
Hah :D
Really like the comparisons and could identify with both of those upbringing very much. I'm an INFP although some test put me is ENFP and what I found refreshing was how this got beyond stereotypes. So many typologies use really strong stereotypes for the different personalities. INFP tends to be portrayed as this deep soulful artistic type in the corner writing poetry. I know a number of cool folks who are very much like that. However, I could see a lot of guys figuring they couldn't possibly be an INFP because they're not the soulful poet. That was where Sean's portrayal was so refreshing. Sean might write some kickass poetry for all we know but he also has been a soldier and likes sports and doesn't come across as the stereotypical INFP as portrayed in the typologies.
Very true, it's good to see people moving past these stereotypes. The one INFP I'm still in touch with is a uni professor in psychology and doesn't fit the poetic stereotype at all - I'm sure he'd make a better job of it than me though! I find that Ne-Te is pretty much overlooked in the MBTI community & Fi-Si very much misunderstood.
As an INFP, I was a nice child. Like I didn't do anything bad. I was very easy to handle because I listened to what my parents said. I didn't throw temper tandrums. In highschool I turned emo on the inside and on the outside, and a Otaku, in the end I didn't feel like I belong at all, so I was not really interessted in my classmates anymore even though I had friends in class, I just felt very disconnected. Today I also keep my circle of friends small.
Thanks for sharing!
One thing I want to point out is how the INFJ tends to be concise and in this case, described his childhood in 5 min whereas the INFP can really just go on with a subject like this and ended up taking double the time. haha I'm INFP and yep. I'd be rambling endlessly.
Hahaha
I've noticed both types struggle with self image and worrying about how others precieve them. I think it comes from two different places. INFPs, being Fi users, want everyone to like them based off of a need for inner harmony, where as INFJs seem to like it based on Fe external harmony. Either that, or In a mistyped INFJ/INTP with weird Fe :/
Indeed!
I don't understand your view on Fi in INFPs and I am one myself. I don't understand why someone would want everyone to like them based on a need for inner harmony... That makes no sense to me. Like if there are people around me fighting or being violent, I'm supposed to not care as long as they like me? But I understand the external harmony part, though. More rational.
@@tiptoes9847 I understood this far less back then. I'm actually not an INFP, I'm an INTP, so my misconception seems to have made sense.
I'd sacrifice my stupid self for someone about-to-be-stupid.
I don't think we're the same 😅 (INFP)
@@tiptoes9847 a year ago comment but imma reply "around me" is the key part. It's Fi getting bothered about situation you can't run away from. And if the conflicting parties both like you, it's actually all the more difficult cuz you can't take sides.
Very interesting! I'm INFP and my mom is INFJ. This is extremely accurate!
Awesome!
My momma ExFP
I'm an INFP too, but my mother is an ESTJ
@@freshbakedclips4659 how's your mother? Mine is ESFP-7w6-3w4-9w8-like
@@kinarast Wow, that's oddly specific.
Thank you for this talk. Oh gosh I can identify. I spent my life in my room. My sister was out and about with friends, My older brother was an
extrovert as my whole family was except me. But he was rebellious and fearless and ran away from home twice. I just went to my room. That is where I felt safe. I don't feel so alone when I find other people who talk about their childhood like the both of you just did.
Thanks for sharing :)
I see everyone saying how they shared similar experiences growing up. But as an INFP I often wonder if my personality changed completely growing up. I remember when I was a kid I was one of the most outgoing kids, always running to pick up every phone call (ironic since it’s one of my biggest social phobias now), was friends with everyone at school and loved to hang out with many different groups of friends, spent all my after school hours going to the houses of all the neighbouring kids to ask them to come out and play. Was hyper competitive (still is a little bit) in sports and often beat all the guys in PE (was a tomboy for sure) I felt like I was the definition of an extrovert when I was younger. But as I grew up and moved overseas with different cultures and a language barrier I started to become more introverted. Now I’m like a hermit honestly, I would go to great length to avoid or postpone tiresome social interactions (especially those involving large groups of people). And everytime I’ve taken the MBti my introversion comes out above 80% so I often wonder what happened lol Has everyone else always been consistent in their personality since young? Sometimes I feel like I have identified more closely with at least 2 other personally types in the past (enfp and isfj/esfj more specifically) other times I simply struggle to understand myself lol
Thank you for sharing! Many INFPs change dramatically over the course of childhood.
@Gio Marrocco I have reason to believe the dominant axis (Fi-Te here) is born more fluid, so in healthy circumstances an INFP child will tend to be more assertive (Te leading) than their adult self :)
I'm an INFP. We are extremely similar. I related 100% to your 'friends' outlook. I do believe that a very high percentage of our personality type will say they had one very best friend throughout our school career. I had no desire to put my time and attention on gathering friends. I was quiet and stayed to myself and felt I was surrounded by cookie cutter classmates who were either to scared to be themselves or scared way to much about what others thought of them, making them feel they had to be what the 'popular' kids thought was cool.
Don't think that it's not exactly same in our adulthood...it is.
I had one or two best friends whom I still am extremely close to today. I took the time not to settle for unfulfilled relationships.
I have this notion that it indeed gets worse in adulthood at least for a lot of people I grew up with who still try and present some utopian existence on the likes of Facebook; it's very much keeping up with the Kardashian's! I'm an ENFJ but my small friendship circle is compromised of introverts. I think I've always wanted to be respected but popular not so much; I'm much happier left to my own devices.
Similar wave patterns but different focuses it seems that of INFP and INFJ
Agreed!
My childhood was different..almost as if I was an enfp... until something changed.
but my brother is an infp as well ... and it sounds much more similar to seans.
Interesting!
...don’t listen to Tatum Harry she is “trouble” 😂🤣
@@INFPHD i sure am🤣
Same
People can develop in all kind of ways. I have a cousin who was super-extroverted as a child but has grown more quiet, introspective, and artistic in her teens. It's not due to depression or trauma or anything (which can be a factor for some) - she's happy and has a good family and life. Sometimes people can discover a new side of themselves later in life - often during the period of 'self-discovery' that adolescence can be - that is so potent that it redefines their self-concept and priorities in life.
My first words were a sentence. I picked up a box and said, "What's this?" My childhood was spent very alone and in my head as well. You childhood sounds familiar. I was suspecting being an only child, played a role in my INFJ qualities, especially my Ni qualities.
Hah, I relate to that box part! Interesting.
Cheers for your comment :)
Thanks for sharing your experiences. I can relate to much of what both of you said as an ISFJ because I've always been more introverted and shy which is why I had trouble finding friends (especially in secondary school). In the beginning I wanted to fit in and be accepted by others but as it didn't work I started caring less over the years and it probably didn't help that I'd rather be at home reading, drawing or being in my imagination and creating new worlds instead of meeting anyone. I'm happy though that I've found some friends later that could understand me on a deeper level.
It's refreshing to hear an ISFJ's perspective on this - thank you for sharing. It sounds like your experience very much echoes my own!
Nice video, I consider myself an Infp. But my childhood can't really compare. I'm mean I was also terrible at talking to others, but I still had always had a good amount of friends. Often an extrovert took care of me ;)
I also remembered being a lot in my dream world. I was so detached from reality that I constantly forgot what I was about to do. Thankfully that's in the past. I also remember some key moments in my kindergaden days. I strongly believed that every humans duty is to place the needs of others before the needs of oneself. Also I didn't realize for a long time that I am allowed to say no. Blew my mind when I found out that I was wrong. I'm 21 now and am obviously a really different person now. I think through practice I'm fairly good in talking to new people and I would not consider myself shy anymore. Still introverted though.
Yes that's fair - INFP doesn't automatically mean terrible social life :D
Sounds like a positive journey; cheers for your comment!
I'm already subbed to Sean, and I can relate to his experiences so much, as well as yours. I have a sister and we are 14 months apart, she's and ENFJ and I'm an INFP. She always made friends so easily and was more popular, and I always had a small friend circle. I'd hang with the misfits too and had an issue with tardiness! Haha. School gave me anxiety, but I was able to hide it pretty well for the most part. The only class that I ever really enjoyed was English. Lol Writing poetry was a great way for me to express myself. Now, when I look back on my old poems from when I was 12 and 13, I realize that there was always this sadness that was in me. I was really good at expressing it through writing. I don't know if any other INFPs or INFJs ever noticed the same.
But great video!
Subbed. 👍
Hey girl 🙌🏻 ...not you Harry - this is for Grace 🤗
@@INFPHD Right back at ya. 🤗
Thank you for the sub!!
My INFP sister also gravitated towards creative writing and used it as an outlet; INFJs I know (including myself) seem to gravitate more towards non-fiction and editing!
@@CognitivePersonality That's actually really interesting. I don't know if you've ever heard of Lauren Sapala, but she has a YT channel where she discusses the INFP and INFJ writer. I only recently came across her (I don't know why she doesn't have more subs), but a lot of writers fall under these two types.
And you're welcome! Take care. 🦋🌻☀️
@@namelessgrace6319 I've given her a sub and will check out her content!
I think this is really good and maybe explains why the 2 are often mixed up, there are similarities despite being totally different functions.. it's still 1.Intuition 2.Feeling at the top.
For sure!
Childhood and teenage hood was absolutely awful and traumatizing...and yet....I can't recall any specifics. I just know it hurt. And it was turbulent, and Se reckless. It was lonely and I legit had zero friendships....just some shadowy and hazy acquaintances.
Left home at 14. ...(trauma survivor)
I've always typed as infj. However I just recently typed as inTj for the very first time.
I resonate with infp and Isfp as well.
At the end of the day....20 years later and fully understanding cog functions, I can type others but not myself. I feel pretty much every cognitive function quite wholly with the exception of Si.
Thanks for sharing your story and experience. 🤗
I resonate with both things that you and Sean stated. I find it interesting that Sean cannot recall his past vividly... Having tert Si. What do you think about this ?
My youngest leads with Si and her connection to the past is so so strong and believably accurate.
My eldest types INFP and she seems to recall some specifics, but her ability to recall details, facts, lyrics, etc is stronger than memories.
I'd say I recall, really, only highly charged past memories.
I wanted to fit in, deep down, but i just never could cause I never resonated with what they were doing or wanting to achieve...most students were incredibly overwhelming. I spent a lot of time analyzing the inner workings of other students. ...or lost in my own mind and feelings.
Re Si I think this is gonna be contingent upon whether it's divergent or convergent and the codec it's assigned to. It's worth noting that I'm a cognitive ENFJ with a highly active ISFJ subnetwork & my memory is awful . Types such as the ESFJ I'd imagine with divergent Si-Ti will have excellent recall and of course it's contingent upon what memories we're referring to - ie emotional substrate, recollection of past events etc.
Lol, from your description I should be INFJ, but I am positive I am INFP. ... My school didn't want to enroll me, because I didn't want to talk to anyone teachers included. 🤣
P.S. ok, people watching is super relatable... When my family had big parties, I'd get a book and sit on the floor by the wall, watching adults instead of playing with kids. I only played with kids if it involved physical activity, otherwise I would get bored, because my imagination was more vivid. 🤦
I'm raising what I believe to be an INFJ child. My husband and I are INFJ and INFP respectively. When people say "you have to socialize your child," I emotionally put up my hand and say (not out loud), "slow down there, buddy." People like us figure it out at our own pace, and being thrown into too many situations is only frustrating!
Thank you for the story. Your story as an INFJ sounds identical to my husband's.
I hope parenthood is treating you well 😊. As a divergent ENFJ, I actually have somewhat of the 'opposite issue'....My son I believe is an ESTP or ENTP and he's highly socially extroverted...Given that I'm a social ambivert (at best) I often feel like I'm letting my son down...Yeah we do lots of extracurricular stuff etc but it terms of socialising my friendship group is pretty tight knit. I can't think of anything more abhorrent than mass play dates especially as a lot of the mums I know are very competitive (yup the usual fb posts about how amazing their life is etc & what a breeze parenthood is) - I just can't be doing with that kind of environment. I think you're right, it's important to social your child but at a pace which is very much befitting to their needs...The irony being children tend to get slammed with a variety of misdiagnosis's for not fitting into the social mode which is of course ludicrous for many kids. My own son has been suspected of having hyperactive ADHD by school (I do happen to agree with this) and I have ADHD too; it's interesting how it can manifest very differently in each cognitive type. Anyway, apologies for butting in, I'm hoping some of my introverted qualities might have something to offer son.
@@AnyaAnnika67 I feel very strongly that different children have different needs, and they do best if their caretakers are sensitive to those needs. I am in a heavily introverted family, so I haven't had to deal with the need your son has. My son is one who does not mix with other children. He observes from the outside. The social interactions we choose are limited but very consistent. I can imagine some challenges and also great joys in raising your son with his type of personality. I hope for the best for you!
Literally liked this video first thing even though I haven't watched it yet bc I just know I will like it when I watch it tomorrow.
I hope you do! And, cheers for the like :)
Same
Im an infj and my sister is an infp, we grew up being verry close together. We are more freinds than sisters, but ive noticed that as i got older our personalities clashed more often, cause we just think so diffrently. I feel licke she understands my imajinative emotinal side but not really my thought process. We dont clash terribly just sometimes, and we are still freinds. I think we need eachother, her peronality helps me realize how to care about myself and the big picture of things, while i help her care anout others and the specific details of things. I am verry lucky to have her and i hope were always freinds.
I love both of you, excellent content.
I'm an INFJ and I had an interesting shifting point in childhood. I live in Los Angeles and moved around a lot in addition to alternating between joint custody (my father suffers from undiagnosed mental illness and I learned a LOT when I was alone with him). I was very detached from kids in general and often found them destructive but I did always develop intense one on one friendships starting at 3 😆 but they never lasted because of moving. I actually played with boys a lot with physical activities (and was pretty athletic and played some team sports) and my close friendships were usually with girls. anyway, in 4th grade my mom had my IQ tested and I was sent to a highly gifted magnet. that completely changed my life because all the kids there were weird 😃 and my imagination was encouraged. I learned to socialize very confidently at that time. my mom finally settled down and I ended up in a conservative neighborhood where I was the rebellious kid 😆 but I actually had a great time there and met my long time best friend (INFP). we really tore that place up 🤣😉 I got along with all groups in HS but maintained my own group of collected misfits ☺️ my 2 closest friends as a teen were INFP and ISFJ and they tend to be the types I bond best with in general. for some reason my peers were usually intimidated by me before they got to know me. I guess that will always be true to a degree because people often don't know what to think of me.
I'm curious how many INFJs have been teasingly referred to as howard hughes by their family 🙄😆
Thanks for sharing!
*One of those kid who just stayed off the side*
I’m an INFJ and I relate to your story so much. Now, I’m already in my 20s but I still find it hard to get out from head and start doing the little things (like making new friends, improvising, and standing up for myself). I often feel very anxious when I have to speak up my mind and be in the present. Do you have any tips for this? I could really use your help. Thanks 😊
For both: I (INFP) recognise your introversion when you were young, standing off to the side, not being popular and just having a few good friends, one here, one there.
For the INFJ: I like how you say that around the age of 14, you started practising extraversion. That's the age your Fe was trying to develop, so it makes senceyou start practising it then.
For the INFP: I recognise what you say a lot. I hated being the center of attention. When I turned 3, I had to sit on a chair on a table while people sung to me in preschool and I hated every moment. I also recognise the pretending to be superheroes, I lived that! It's the imaginativeside of us. As a teen I also wondered where I belonged because I understood both sides, which eventually meant I belonged to neither.
I especially like how the INFP takes twice as much time in the video as the INFJ. That's Ne for you!
Can someone please help me here? I've been trying to decide between an INFJ or INFP for almost two years. There are important reasons for both...
In this video I have to say Sean's childhood sounds closer to mine than Harry's. Unlike Harry's, it was very easy for me to make people like me, although I was clear that I did NOT like them (and their aggressiveness and behaviors that I so hated). Making them like me was a survival mechanism until I could be back home every day. Just like with Sean's childhood, whenever I went to a place where there were kids, my younger sister would go ahead happily and I would kick and scream and stay in the car if possible.
As I grew up more and went on to high school (14 years old) my experience is also closer to Sean of feeling lost in the middle, never quite finding the people I could truly identify with. That's very different from Harry's experience who seemed to have started playing the game and finding his self worth. At the same time, just like Sean I really wish I had joined sports earlier.
I'm confused how an INFJ can have Harry's childhood experience (before year 10). I thought INFJs were masters of what other people want and giving it to them. Or does Fe not develop until a later age and perhaps this is a very good sign of the differences between INFJs and INFPs? How could an INFP child be so good at seemingly fitting in (from the outside - in the inside completely lost and dettached) without Fe...?
HELP PLEASE!
Confidence, upbringing and what you value often goes a longer way than cognitive functions here.
That being said, I recommend you check out my INFJ vs INFP type comparison!
Hey! So, I've read your comment. This conversation could be long, maybe it would be better to have it by mail? What do you think?
@@gehdochnicht Maybe we can ask Harry for help? If we both send a mail to him, he could make the connection ? If that's ok with you and him, of course...
@@gehdochnicht done !
@@kcl7864 great, lets write there then :)
Very interesting video. When I first discovered the MBTI, I remember reading blogs and articles on personality development. I was curious to understand if our personalities are innate such that our true nature can be traced back to our childhood. There are remaining question marks on my behalf. Thanks for both testimonials
Thanks Nelly! The nature/nurture argument runs strong in this area too - I do believe there is a strong genetic component to type (and would argue our genes themselves are a form of personality) to such an extent to be determined from birth. That being said, different upbringings and life experiences can create the radical difference that can exist between two people of the same type.
Hope all's well.
INFP has fit me best through various attempts to determine a type, and this is no exception. The INFP's storytelling is less comprehensive and more focused on specific important events and people. That would be more like me. I'm still unconvinced, though. I think I just resist the idea of being typed because I feel quite fluid and want to be "allowed" to remain so. What type or types would be most likely to struggle with intense fear of impacting other people negatively, or is that just a symptom of a type of dysfunction and not a type characteristic at all?
This certainly sounds congruent to Convergent Fi, as responsibility and care for others is taken from an internally relational perspective. But, what you describe can of course be shared by other types, but INFP sounds quite possible.
@@CognitivePersonality Thank you! I really appreciate your content. I think you are adding something unique and valuable to the topic.
You both possesed introverted intuition so being a part of a small circle sounds right. You would have easily been able to assess who would go into your friend zone. We introverts are always deeply looking at the world around us trying to figure out where we might fit. I'm thankful for maturity when we discover we don't have to! Great video!
INFP, altho introvert & intuitive, actually has extraverted intuition
Thank you! In the dichotomy sense we are both introverted & intuitive in temperament, for sure!
@@cazbee6126 ,🙏
@@CognitivePersonality 🙏
@@cazbee6126 thanks for the clarification. I think I was more associating with Sean's comments about the bullying and having a solitary friend. I was able to connect with his feelings of not really fitting in with the " high school" stereotypes.
I just wrote a whole long post and deleted it! Typical infp!😂 Lets just say, I’m a wife and mom of adult children and I can totally relate! I’m not sure it ever changes! God bless!!
I think Im an INFP and I relate to both of these very much. From age 10-18, I said very little in school and most days wouldn't say a word.
Just listening to the two of you, Harry seems much more thinking and logic oriented than Sean. Harry seems to follow a well thought out stream of talking about his childhood. It's organized and sequential. Sean talks in a more in a non-sequential, "grab this thought", then "grab that thought" kind of way. I'm an INFP and that's how I talk as well. People often say that INFPs don't show their emotional side, but Harry seems to not show his emotional side, while Sean seems more feeling oriented. Just an observation from an INFP.
I related to a lot of what you were saying about early childhood, Harry. I also remember way back to age 2 and actually remember sitting in my driveway with a hammer (who let me play with a hammer?? 🤷♀️)
I named it "Mrs. Hammer head" because the part you use to pound nails in with looked like a lady's bun in her hair. I'd talk to the hammer and make up scenarios around that and seldom lived in reality. When I got older, I never really learned how to play the social game very well though. I also related a lot to what your friend was saying except I have always had a very good and detailed memory, almost a mechanical memory. Stress, trauma and chronic illness have dampened that now somewhat, but in general I still have a better recall than the average bear.
Hehe I love this story! This does sound similar to my imagination-heavy childhood.
@@CognitivePersonality don't even get me started on me staring at the backs of chairs in restaurants or at wallpaper as a kid. I'd see faces, animals, roads, whatever and totally leave the building. The adults would be like...Melanie what are you doing? 😂
THAT'S IT I'M BOTH PERSONALITIES NOW. YOU CAN'T STOP ME
I would always go off and hide somewhere as kid because I wanted to be alone, A lot of the time I’d sneak off to this Forrest area where no on was supposed to go but I’d go there a lot to observe. A lot of the time I’d hide away because I was bullied in primary school and abused by my parents so I’d just want to think and imagine about things and escape from reality. Every time I got hurt by my bullies if I couldn’t go to the Forrest I’d hide under a table of go to behind a curtain and feel comforted that I could just watch the world and escape from my life and myself and just become nothing but a pair of eyes. Now I’m 15 and I still of this urge due to escapism however I am not so small anymore so it’s harder to hide away, more responsibilities. I want to find a hiding place again, however I have friends now, I have a friendship group that I am in however most of them r more of very distant friends I interact with if I see them accidentally however don’t purposefully seek them. However I have two friends who r my best friends I spend time with them a lot and I like being with them, a lot of the time we would hang out in the park and just chill. I remember once on Halloween at night we went to that park in the dark and played hide and seek in the dark, it was so fun. I love them so much. One day if I find a good hiding spot I might do something that I have never done before, share my hiding place or show them my hiding place. Maybe if I have a significant other I could lay with them in the hiding space.
Thank you for sharing this!
I was popular just not in the "normal" I just wanted to know everyone how they think learn about their culture etc. And I went to the same school in the same city K-6 then 7-8 then high school so I gained a lot of friends by high school. I was a big time protector I stood up to bullies all by myself - INFJ
I made my first best friend in 3rd grade, and my second one in 6/7th grade.
We're all still best friends till this day and will be till the end
~ 21 yr old INFP Female
Sean feels/looks like Sam for Lord of Rings. 😃 And I get such a happy feeling.
Hahaha so true!
I did the personality test twice and I first got INFP but then did it a second time and got ENFP. Is it possible to be in the middle as in my life I feel as though I’ve been both and just changed back and forth
Harry basically described my childhood as an INFJ male
Wonderful ❣️
Thank youu!
As an INF* who has been into MBTi for 20 years and studied psychology and psychometric (and still can type as either of both and struggling to figure it out), Harry's account to me, sounds like the quintessential INFP. I could relate to at least 90% of it and the only bits that didn't were the bits around his masculinity, being a cisgender woman. I am not type policing and believe everyone is unique in their expression but it did at least sound more INFP. Sean's account sounded like it could have been almost any introverted type. There didn't seem to be anything there that screamed INFP. INFPs are usually not that observant of their surroundings or the group and although cautious, often want to jump into different experiences with their auxiliary Ne function. INFPs are usually far more in their own worlds and imagination, even moreso than INFJs. If anything INFJs are more focused on the group and where they fit in due to their auxiliary Fe. INFPs are not really interested in hierarchies or where the fit in and if anything, focus more on how they stand out. Apart from being a bit quiet and not very sociable or popular, there wasn't much I could relate to in Sean's account although I appreciate his sharing. Unusual too that he ended up in the military as INFPs find it particularly hard to conform to rules and rigid structures. This could be in part, cultural as I grew up in the UK, like Harry. These accounts could have been influenced by their enneagram types too as there are many different flavours of INFP and INFJ. That's my thoughts on this video.
After watching one of your other videos (how to tell if someone isn't an INFJ) and reading more info elsewhere since this comment, I am even more sure that I am INFJ as I had typed originally and maybe that is why I did identify more with your childhood Harry. I do think some of the things you mentioned sound quite INFP too but it does sound more INFJ actually. Goes to show how easy it is to mistype between the two as some of the differences are very subtle and of course, there will always be individual differences. I found the other video extremely useful and refreshing by staying away from the dicotomoes and stereotypes, so thank you.
I wish that this video helped lol. I’m trying to type for my son. He typed as an INFJ but there are some very strong INFP traits he has too. Because I cannot internalize accurately his brain functions and he’s too young to probably explain it adequately, I guess my search continues... he is 13 years old and not quite developed so he’s hard to type... at least for me as an INTJ mom who wants to be factual and accurate. The good news is it’s a project that I can work on and I have time haha :)
Oh yes, definitely hold back on certain conclusions until he's a little older - good to entertain the paradigm though!
Sean seems like an SP guy. ISFP?
Owing to Sean's life experiences he definitely appears more on the 'S' side of the dichotomy, but this is also why I don't think the dichotomies work - behaviour can change and intuitves can develop more 'S-like' mannerisms as they become more grounded in the concrete reality. Cheers!
There is nothing wrong with being in la la land
True that!
I, thankfully, was put around a lot of other children at an early age. I had a very large family with many children my age that I would spend all day with. My God Mother also babysat all the teacher's and principal's children, and she had 3 children and the 4 of us were all 2 years apart. 2 boys above me and a girl above us 3. The lady across the street from my God Mother also watched teachers children. I was with all those children all year round since I was 2 years old. I thought this was for the fact that I was an only child, but my mother did this because she was a lonely child having hypoglycemia and passing out 4-5 times a day until she was 7 or 8 years old, so she had to stay close to home.
Quick questions: How many siblings did you have? What number sibling were you? What is your mother's type? How tall is your mother? How much did you weigh when you were born?
I ask these questions because I have a theory and I need data to see if it's more than a theory or not and if it is some of these questions help expand on the theory itself. If I am right I will share my findings. Thank you!
Ahh, cool!
1) 5 2) 3 3) ENFP 4) 6'2" 5) no idea;average :)
I need someone to do this for INTJ and INTP.
Hai Harry, can you add subtitles to your video? English is not my first language so it is difficult to listen and understand your material at one time.
I'm definitely going to look into making this a possibility, as while I do not think it will be easy I understand many people would benefit from me adding subtitles :)
I can relate to both of you, as an ISTJ. Lone wolf, authentic, and observer could describe me. In my own head, but learning about others, even if I couldn't play their game. Not that I wanted to, but I did wish that others were more like me, having a distaste for conflict or even lack of kindness. It took me a long time to accept my own more aggressive behaviors. However, you're probably Enneagram 4's (or have 4 wings) unless you're E9, and I relate more to 5w6.
Ahh thank you for this! I do agree ISTJs can share this similarity with INFPs, INFJs and INTJs when growing up.
I'm not a huge proponent of the enneagram but, yes, I would be loosely considered a 4w5 (4-5-8) within this system!
@@CognitivePersonality thanks for your answer, but I've recently changed my opinion about my type: I now believe it to be INTJ. It was hard to give up the idea of being on the Si/Ne axis and harder for me to grok what Ni actually means in my own life. After watching quite a few more RUclips videos feel I'm putting things together much better. Thanks again!
I think that the infp guy is an isfp
Sean is most likely an Ne user than Se, but like many grounded INFPs I agree he would likely receive an 'S' in terms of behaviour (rather than cognition) :)
@@CognitivePersonality I think he has Se and Ni, here's why:
5:41 "my mom used to say that.."- seeing reality through other people's eyes when telling a stroy- Se
"I watched everyone and was trying to collect data"- Se observation, seeing what other peoople are doing
6:19 describing the overall environment around those experiences
7:17 "this is what humans do"- Se
7:47 descibing what his sister was doing- again seeing reality through other people's eyes- Se
Also Sean describes multiple experiences- Se which had the same pattern -Ni
he does not describe one particular expiernce - (no Si), he sees what was repeated in the past multiple times(example- "my sister was introducing me to other people and I didn't like it"- she has done it multiple times and it was the pattern in his life that was repeated) .
8:20 - again what his sister was doing and it was repeated(she used to gain friends that way)- it's not a singular experience.
9:27 "watching how the boys would act" -Se
10:06 one theme- isolation (Ni) throughout high school experience- Se
10:31 describing the environment, what they used to do Se,
10:42 desciribing groups and their behavior and seeing his own group as what it looked like on the outside- Se
"I was absent a lot"- again describing a whole experience and what was the main theme.
11:34 describing his experience in a way that everyone can relate to "there are always those guys and girls" and "you are in that group of people"- the listener can relate to it, because it's the universal experience(Ni), not his own specific(no Si)
11:43- what society would say- Se
11:58- describing his circle- Se and the main trait- "genuine type of person"- Ni
12:05 what other people see- Se and being aware of what experinece he gives off to other people by the way he dresses and where he stands etc.
13:15 "my goal was to come home after school" - again one main theme describing many days at school, also being focused on what he wants- Ni, not what school, teachers wanted from him(no Ne).
Also his eye movements- he is focused on one point then comes back to the centre in quick movement.(between two points)Typical Ni- Se eyes. He is looking right to the camera with focus- high Se
His body language- he has an image in his head that he wants to describe and he uses his hands to shape the image. Ni- Se 6:53
(I'm not a native english speaker, so I apolagize for any mistakes)
@@Julia-ey4zd I enjoyed and appreciated your in depth analysis - it's refreshing to have points like these backed up my coherent argument.
That being said, I do think much of these points don't necessarily relate to specific cognitive stacks - it is extremely common for INFPs to employ Ne to observe more than ISFPs employ their Se to observe, and the observations of the INFP are more macroscopic which seems congruent with Sean's account.
And, honesty, Sean has so many signs of Ne and comparatively less of Ni, so even if he had a high Se use I would not rule out INFP :)
...what in the world is going on down here!?!? 🤣😂🤗 Yeah Julia, obviously everything is subjective and your opinion is there for your taking in this realm. I will say that I have studied this stuff for over 10 years and not just one angle of psychological self research or just from simply taking a test on 16 personalities and running with that. When I discovered the psychology stuff at age 29 (39 now) I dove extremely hard into everything and never let up because of my initial fascination with it all. There’s a ton more triangulation to personalities outside of just MBTI and I was determined to find my “true preferences” amongst it all (INFPs generally go pretty deep with this stuff). It’s hard to depict the true personality of someone from a 20 min video especially when an INFP facing all things of social media (“he can’t be INFP - he must be an extrovert cause he’s on video talking - we INFPs don’t do video!!”) is not a super comfortable place for which somethings may come out slightly different looking than when they are being super INFP in the comfort of their own home / head talking to no one. So yes, I am also one who understands that to be greater successful in this world one should not only play in your primary cognitive functions / stereotypes so I - like all of us - use all the functions everyday (to what degree is based on the individual and how much they “need” to use them). The last 20 years of my work life has had me more in higher stressed, fast paced, non-ideal jobs for an INFP for which I had to play in my shadow functions (to be successful and not get fired) developing those to a high degree. One thing I can EASILY say is that Ne is my absolute most favorite function and is highly responsive/ functioning - I use Ni when needed, but DEFINITELY not happy using any singular idea and rarely can I get down to that area but know how and when I need to.
So yeah, just talking it all out here and if you feel you see me as ISFP then so be it. For me I just know personally of the amount of work (stress) I’ve had to endure towards all the other functions and at my age feel I’m an overly developed mash-pit of a lot of stuff which can obviously exude other functions in a short video from all that exposure. However, my preferences I know confidently lay to that of the INFP.
Nice to meet you Julia, and thanks for watching our little video 👍🏻🤙🏻
Sean
@@Julia-ey4zd Not here to pinpoint which type Sean actually is, but "seeing reality through other people's eyes" is not Se, or at least not what I've learned so far. It's more likely Fi Ne Si.
Sean is an ESTP.
I love Sean's Se energies - I do think his experiences have allowed him a good Se dip, but conversing with him multiple times has made me confident his type is INFP :)
I agree 1000%... as an INFP with many true INFP close friends, I knew almost immediately that he wasn't an INFP.
I know an INFP who comes across extremely similar to Sean; he's a lecturer so it's gonna be tantamount that he does develop a healthy Se dip. I'm a divergent ENFJ and you wouldn't spot my Se from a mile off most of the time.
How could you be an INFJ? I like you. This is confusing. That one group of INFJ people must have primarily been mistyped.
I can relate to both haha.
We can be so similar on the surface!
Both childhood experiences resonate with me, an ISFP. For three years I was convinced I was an INTJ (because I don't fit into the "airhead" ISFP stereotype) but after watching Harry's videos and reading his book, I realize that I am indeed an ISFP. As an ISFP child, with an INFP mom, I feel like I see a lot of overlap between the two types- perhaps also because I have developed Si and she Ni.
I would prefer to spend a lot of my time alone- doing what Harry did and spending a lot of time imagining; I would actually sometimes sit in a chair and play a whole game in my head, inventing all the characters- almost like a "mind" play. In school as a child I was somewhat (unwillingly!) popular, perhaps because I would always come up with interesting things to do, but in actuality I really one had a few close friends who I would consistently be with. I liked playing with other children, but I never felt bored, and sometimes preferred to play/draw/make mud pies by myself. Most of my friends, past and present, are INFP, ISFP, INTP, ENFJ, and ENTP.
I'm happy to have provided clarity in that regard :)
It's interesting, so many Ni-activated ISFPs have a similar penchant for solitude, throughout childhood especially.
@@CognitivePersonality Some theories said that one's "tertiary" /convergent auxiliary function isn't activated until later in life, but I can definitely say that I've had Ni since probably 6-7 years old or even younger, hence the INTJ conclusion. (I also didn't speak for a long time, until I was three actually, partially because my thoughts seemed so loud I just assumed other's could hear!) However, although I had a strong sense of myself from a young age, I wouldn't say that I felt like an adult. I was very much a feeler and would cry and laugh at every beautiful thing I saw, and would love to be in the moment. I'd say for me personally Fi is so strong and innate that I thought I had Ni first because I was so much more aware of it, but upon sustained reflection I think that every action/choice I make is derived from Fi. For a while I felt like an INTJ/INFP crossbreed, but after watching/reading about the three personalities from your description (INTJ, INFP, ISFP) I realized that I am definitely an ISFP with an early activation of Ni, and also activated Si, as well as a somewhat balance of Fi with
Te.
Anyways, thank you for your nuanced explanations of the type. I really love your videos, and your theories-- my mom (INFP) and I have both benefitted from them tremendously. Thank you for all that you do!!!
2-
First of all you are not an infj