Why would an INFJ say yes if soul searching with self and others is a true aspiration of a lot of INFJs? You can't get much deep internal work done in 9 months. I love how relationships can get deeper even through struggles. I disagree that I am who I am in the beginning of the relationship too. I reveal who I am over time with someone. I mask hardcore to be according to their perceived needs in the beginning. I have a strange inner world, it takes me time and a sense of safety to reveal. So yea, I'm an INFJ that says a no here.
I can see your point. However, I answered "NO". Of course, the first 3/6 months of relationship seems better in first glance, because everything is new and fresh. We put all of our heart, trust, effort and try to be the best version of ourselves. And after this, transformation starts for both of the partners. I put all of my effort to be and stay in tune with them, and the direction of relationship depends on other person also. I will give them multiple chances, because I understand them and their all intentions. If they resist going deeper with me, relationship will fail. Otherwise, I think, partners gets closer to each other and love grows and becomes deeper and deeper by time. So, it is very common idea that, after first 3/6 months the excitement is gone. But for me, the best part starts after ending of the first time's excitement. I'm an INFJ and I had an INFP boyfriend. Actually, we talked about this exact situation. He said that the first months are best. And he gave up on me very early, because he was thinking that everything should fall their place magically. He was in his head all the time, never tried to see things from my viewpoint. So, it is not easy to generalize this subject and decide about the entire personality for just one question.
Hi Nigar. Please do not take this video as FACT, it is only a reference to a way of thinking or feeling as it relates to what an INFJ could possible think or feel. It is only a possible way of thought. Make sense? As Iread your comment 2nd time I see that ou would not be getting the point. I see that now. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn , I know that you were talking about how love and effort doesn't increase by time, but it is already there on the first day. I was just explaining why the answer can't be 'Yes' for everyone and wanted to make sure that people doesn't get confused about their mbti type, because this is not solid as you mention in 5:37 . Good luck!
ohhh. Okay. Got it. Yes you are correct. Well said. We are on the same page on this one. Luck? Do I need some? Do you have some for me? I can always use some and more of some... Hand it over! ;) TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn you can go for enfjs they are✨ I answered no because... I felt betrayed but that was just a misunderstanding or I might say narrow view but after I got out from that tiring loop it's the best life ever it's like I'm a whole new person they'll love you with all of their heart that too at first sight
Oh my word. Stunning, so accurate. We know before we even enter into it, the first few months will tell us everything. It speaks to the almost psychic ability of us INFJs. Even if it won’t work out, we know that because we see the future of it all. Every possible wrong turn or twist. And still sometimes choose to enter into it.
I answered no because somewhere, good relationships will bloom. It's unfair to assume that things won't deepen and grow past a certain point. Sure, there's more conflict, a good relationship should grow stronger over time. Maybe I'm not an INFJ haha
Maybe and maybe not. But what you are is this: smart and capable of thinking for yourself. No hate toward me or my views; open minded you are. I see more INFJ. Now spend the next 10 years doing the same questioning and maybe than you will know for sure. I am 51 and each and every day I still want to know more about myself and what exactly I am. For today: INFJ TYWC - Marty
I absolutely disagree, feel this is exactly backwards and speak from only my own knowledge and experience as an INFJ and add to that was married to an INFP. I would love to have a depth of discussion about this, but not in a comment format. Point is, to say this one question and answer is definitive really made me come out and speak on my utter disagreement for the good of others who are questioning things.
Hi Teri. Well straight forward is always a good thing. But that is okay if you do. I am never trying to be 100% right or anything like that and to be honest, that was like my first attempt at MBTI since I do not really even know it. But soon, I will and then watch out. lol TYWC - Marty
I'm an infj and I chose no also. Answering yes feels kind of hopeless as I would hope the relationship would continue to grow and get better and better over the years.
FINALLY figuring out after all this time I've been mistyped. It feels good finally knowing, tbh. First video I saw from you was the "100% Accurate INFJ Test" and the question of "would you choose to be a different type if you could".. I couldn't answer it. I couldn't answer yes or no, not because I hadn't experienced turmoil, not because I hadn't experienced common 'INFJ' traits, struggles, and symptoms, not EVEN because I wanted to deny that I was or wasn't an INFJ. I just simply couldn't tell. Thank you, Marty. Truly. And you already figured, but yes, I'm an INFP.
Good for you. Now you can learn all about the other types and continue with the ideas of the INFJ and with that, you will now study the INFP and be way better off. Forget all that totally stupid bullshit with the rare and reading minds and crap. Learn what the letters mean and study oh that P and J changes everything. Do you see what I am saying and where I am going with this? Now that for today you have made a decision, now you can figure out why you were confused and or not getting it right. See how powerful that is? Great work. TYWC - Marty
Yesss!!!!! Because the other in the relationship consistently drops off efforts....as I continue to exhaust myself caring for them with increasingly small amounts given in return. It is heartbreaking to think I’ll never find someone who understands reciprocity.....but then maybe my expectations are too high- something else I’m told again and again....🤷♀️
At first thought I said yes. Then I thought about it. How beautiful it is to grow old with someone in a healthy relationship with unconditional love and other thoughts about how love should be. But then I thought about how I never had a relationship like that and then I was just confused. 🤣Maybe that’s just a BP fantasy. Just a fantasy. Not real life 😢😂😅
Interesting. My initial reaction was yes and then I considered that the other person might actually become more of themselves over time (and I might like them more than I initially thought.) Internally, I know it isn't likely. I never even considered the things you listed as factors in my reasoning (love, affection) I can say that your videos are helping me identify my thought process clearly and that is more helpful than any test I've been able to find.
Hi Miriam. You said: "more helpful than any test I've been able to find." Me: Experience in LIFE No MBTI or ??? can replace experience and wisdom from making mistakes and getting back up. Nothing!!! Thank you for the great comment. TYWC - Marty
That was my thought process, too!! Then came the explanation and I was like "that is so right, why did I think 'no' even for a second. Such a big worry for me is that how can I trust someone for so long. Great video! I'm binge watching as many as I can! Let's see if I am what I think I am lol
INFP here. All of this struck as my own experience in relationships, in fact I said for about 3 months it’s the best. I know for sure I’m not an INFJ, though. I think the two types have enough similarities that they could both answer yes to this question, personally. But it’s also worth mentioning that many of my past romantic endeavors have been with other INFPs - this comes with a host of its own potential issues.
Hi Bella. I will touch on the MBTI like with like but my first is a big: NOPE Even though you might think it best, I do not think it best. TYWC - Marty
Your limiting an INFJs interpretations. I am an INFJ and I said no because I know that people need some time to get on the same wave length as me and realize how deep of a connection there could be between two human being, because they normally do not experience it. And this is only one way to interpret it Nd there are many others. You certainly can suggest you idea as a point of orientation but not as a clear indicator of personality type. Thank you!
Hi. There is no right or wrong Nani. Also, we both know this is not a foundational or real question but is a point toward the rare or those who WANT to be INFJ for self esteem issues. We have to assume most persons watching and listening do understand my point. I think if you read many of the comments that is the case. We cannot ever assume that a viewer cannot read between the lines. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn I know what you are trying to say. Just the level of certainty you are saying it is what I think is wrong with it. You only present one way to interpret the no as an answer. If you said that this can apply to the viewer if he says no only when his line of thinking which lead him to this answer matches the presented one in your video then it would be more reliable. In my opinion an INFJ couls answer with yes or no. You just have to consider the explanation and then judge wether he is an INFJ or not. I hope that I don't come across as if I wanted to belittle you or attack your content. These thoughts appeared in my mind and I wanted to share them.
Well let me say this in another way..I do appreciate what you are saying but can I ask this: Why police me or any other viewer(s)? Why not: Let people figure things out on their own or ask me what I meant. Have the faith that others will do that which is seen in the comments. I answer every comment and you are not the first to say this or ask this but many comments explain the details. You came across as great. No problem. I get it but I cannot worry about what each and every person thinks nor will I. As you can tell my content and what I do on a NON-Monetized channel is above par and offers some really different points of view. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn I was not trying to police you. I do appreciate your content and I did not talk about you not having different points of view. I am letting people figuring things out on their own, I am one of these people ;) Thank you!
Nani... ;) This is the first thing you said within your first comment: "Your limiting an INFJs interpretations" That is policing. ;) - Marty p.s. Thank you for the effort. I get it. ;)
I said no, because during the earlier months of a relationship people tend to mistake infatuation for the actual relationship and there's a high probability of self-deception with regard to oneself and the other person. It's only later, when that dies down, that you even get your first inkling of the true state of the relationship and you see if you have what it takes to make it last. Even if you were giving it a 100% effort at the beginning and your partner was too, the real test is what happens when you're not being rewarded for that initial work with the hormones, the spicy romance, etc. Will you continue to put the work in, or will you let it fizzle when the rewards seem "lesser" or at least not as flashy? Just my take anyway.
I agree and the INFJ does the work and remembers the beginning and does not fail for if it did... ...that would be fake. The INFJ will not live inside that environment. TYWC - Marty
You could make a case for both types answering yes or no to that one question. An INFP can see diverging possibilities from their current relationship. Could get better or worse based on external intuition. The INFJ could answer No because of an internal adoption of relationship values. The principle that intimacy develops over time and having children add to the relational experience. So the many future experiences are viewed as enhancing what is a strong value of intimacy.
I am an infj and I answered no. Well, the first meet with other people will always exciting and delightful but I think you forget that infj are future oriented. If a relationship doesn't make sense to their Ni-Ti loop, they will cut the bonds off. So when they go in to a relationship, they will give their whole to it to maintan it. 6-9 month of hapiness sounds very vague.
He said 6 to 9 months before the partner changes and basically gets complacent. The effort of maintaining a healthy relationship isn’t really an effort for the infj because it’s our baseline, it’s how we’re wired. If an infj’s partner is another type then after some time their efforts diminish and we as infjs know this.
I think you are looking at this without considering time and mindsets ... hard to tell how I will think in a few years depending on where my mindset is. There are too many other variables to answer yes or no... thinking about it from a typical standpoint it should vary from person to person ... like you can't predict whether or not "the best" part is at any part. It goes up, and down at specific junctures... depends on living status ... just too many variables to be able to answer yes or no
Thank you!! WOW!! Amazing!! I know you're just passing on your knowledge as well as you're just addressing one area of trait/characteristics of the INFJ in this video, but it still hurts for the partners. To know this now, is so explanatory how some people have and can behave in their relationships. Why are we laughing at those people who are unaware of what the INFJ does and never brought this insight to their partner's attention? For you to know this insight and have continued with this pattarn with all your relationships, why? Why do you seek long-term relationships? Why do INFJ want love, sex, connection, and compassion and affection so much from their partners within those months? Which are just their false fantasy, too high of expectation for their partner, and/or when certain unexpected changes happen, to just laugh, forsake her and throw her out. It's so cruel. No wonder why the number one statistics of crime is passion for love. I do thank you so much for this video! This needs more views and shares. People do need to know, how INFJ show up in their relationships and what is going on in their minds. WOW, INFJs should do a better way of helping their partners know this thought process when they open the door and let them in. Or they should just have short-term, unattached, unexpected and open relationships. I know there are women as INFJ as well, but men don't be a pussy and just tell your partner how it is. If you say you gave it your all on the first day, then you do need to tell ypur partner. If you don't....it's you who has the internal issues with TRUST. INFJ's you better check yourself too. Don't be a counterfeit! If that person chooses to be with you, at least they will knows what in store.
You pretty much just summed up what I was doing TODAY. I literally made a list of how I'm gonna lead a potential relationship in the best direction possible. All because I've worried about them switching up on me lol. I never thought about the love, and compassion we would be giving to each other. Only about the direction in which I will take this relationship which is bettering ourselves for the sake of the future so well both end up happy in the long run. The funniest thing to me is that you sort of knew it before I even did! This made me laugh pretty hard haha. Very Insightful as always! Always a pleasure watching your videos.
Hey G. Sorry for late response. Glad I could help you out and make watching me worthy of your time. Always doing me best and thanks for the compliment. TYWC - Marty
I answered NO, and I am certain I am not INFP but INTJ. The reason I answered NO is because frankly, I was thinking about how the relationship shifts from their side to probably more honesty (realness) than at the "honeymoon phase". I don't generally consider that phase as the "best" while it really is. But that's semantics. Anyway... for me, though I do put all the effort in since day one... I am also aware that people tell you their deepest things after a year or more, not before.
I see the first 6 months as the best and the real. It is life for me and after the 6 months is me getting along. Not always but as a general rule it fits. TYWC - Marty
Yes gal here. I am amazed to be figuring all this out as a senior citizen...better late than never. Thank you for doing what a INFJ does so well - contemplates the big issues from so many angles that others' heads spin....then finds WITH PINPOINT ACCURACY the simple yet difficult answer to what you (and I) have agonized about for YEARS.
... and the agonizing still continues. What is understood is that you cannot change it and that there is nothing wrong with you, maybe not even with the world around you, but you are are above it and different to it, yes the INFJ most certainly is. TYWC - Marty
I don’t know if this is a conclusion that all INFJs will reach by a certain age, or if we start over expecting perfection when we get into a new relationship, regardless of age. But at 38 years old, I’ve finally accepted that I will always be the one who gives more to the relationship. I have learned to manage my expectations, and that if I were to hold out for someone who can give as much as I do, I’ll never have the opportunity to be happy with a partner. I’ve only been in two relationships, but in each one, I made my partners better people. Since I broke up with my ex, 14 years ago, he’s become a mere shell of what he was during the first 7 years of our relationship. My husband went from being a man who was terrified of commitment, completely lacking in self awareness, to the most amazing partner I think I could ever find. I definitely still have problems with him, but the good far outweighs the bad, aside from the fact that I can talk to him about all of my ideas that most other people would think are crazy, and he actually listens to me, and almost always ends up on my side. This is a very new outlook for me, and I’ve never been happier. My dad didn’t get to this place, if he ever truly did, until he was close to 50. I can imagine many INFJs never do. My husband was dismissive avoidant when we met. He was 29, and his longest relationship had been two months. If he hadn’t met me, he’d still be alone, or worse.
I've been INFJ since I took the test about 15 years ago. Decided to take it again today and I'm INFP, but right on the border at 51% prospecting, 49% judging. But then watching this video I did answer "yes" without hesitation. Impressive talent by the way, being able to write backwards 🙂
Spot on. And does it really matter what you are? It will in one second: "Nope. You are not INFJ or INFP. You are INTJ!" lol That is what I get from people all day long and then, when I lash back out, they call me out as ENFP. WTF?!?! lol I am sure you get it and good for you. You are a rare person by my calculation and I am not even sure what MBTI type you are. TYWC - Marty
OMG Marty, you are so far ahead of me with knowing who you are. I answered yes with no need to write it done within a second of you asking the question. I had no doubt I was INFJ but you have confirmed that I am several times now with your videos. You have advanced thoughts on the subject that can not be denied and couldn’t be more true.
I seem to be INFJ at work and INFP when in my leisure time, I'm still trying to get some more understanding on this. As for relationships it takes two to tango so I think this maybe an over simplification.
Where is the stress? That stress is your shadow trigger and the more stress the more shadow the more you know your real type because once you figure your shadow the opposite MBTI is the real you when calm and not stressed. It is that simple. Look at me ... When I get pissed off I act like ENFP and when I am calm I act like INFJ. The key to me is the last letter: Stressed = All over the place. Not Stress = solid and you cannot change my mind. TYWC - Marty
Hi Marty. been watching your channel. Don't think your a narcassisst. Lol good video Completly get what your saying. Since I've heard about this personality type, I've watched way to many videos and been looking into personality types. INFJ or not I'd be ok. But I answered no, because after overthinking the question, I said no because I would want improvment and to grow. Mostly cause I'd be concerned how my partner is feeling. Once you explained the yes and no, my answer would have been yes. I've always been full in 100% in relationships. Usually ends cause me and then their cur from my life for good..
How can I answer? I have never been in a romantic relationship.😂 I do think there will be more fun and interesting things going around when you first date someone. But then, as the time goes on, the relationship will be more deep and so, it will probably become more mature and there will be understandings between each other. So, for fun and fluttering feelings and stuffs, it would be a yes. For more deep understanding, it would be a no. Personally, I think I might go for no because I want a deep understanding state between each other. I would want to know that person more and want that person to know me more. So that we will be more comfortable with each other and not pretending stuffs since I hate that a lot. Even when it comes to friendships, the longer it gets, the more you feel comfortable and more trust between each other comes. At that stage, I might begin to open more about myself because I rarely do unless it feels right. Honestly speaking, even with my current close friends, there are many things I don't open up about. Like when I'm feeling blue and I need somebody to actually listen to me but ofc, I don't open up. I can't really pinpoint why I do that but I don't really feel like they are the one and that they will actually understand although, I do understand that they will try their best to consult me cuz I know they really are great friends. And so, normally, when I meet someone new, I want to skip all those small little boring talks and just go deep right away. But anyways, from my imagination, I do think that bubbly, sweet and fun things would be the best for a romantic relationship in the early stage. So is it about the fun or deep? I would like if it's more specific. Sorry, I always like things to be specific. Especially questions. 😂😂
Guess I'm an Infp after all. When I first took the mbti test, It showed infj and for a while that was what I got but years later it shifted to infp. Also that comment stung about us people wanting to be infj because it's rare and shit. Honestly, some of us are just confused and want to know for sure what our type is. I relate a lot to both infj and infp. But this question was so simple and my only answer would be no. So assuming every infj would have chosen yes, im happy to know I'm an Infp.
WHAT IN THE FUCK??????? Do you know that out of every video. Over what has to be 10,000 comments covering over 400 videos you are the only person to ever surrender to the fact that you wanted to be or steered toward INFJ because of the rare and yet was honest enough with self to want the truth? You’re rare; know that! (period) - M
You tubers is how I identified I’m an INFJ. I didn’t test for months after I discovered my truth. I didn’t know it was a thing to test for. I wouldn’t take a test because I had seen so many videos I did not want that info to come into play with my answers. I waited a couple months before, when I felt I had a completely clear open head to take the test. INFJ. After another 4 months or so I decided to take another one. Again waited till I was in an open mindset and I tested INFJ-T. I’m 47 now and just found out at 46! Fuck. If I knew then what I know now I’d be in a much different place. Still I wouldn’t want to be a different person. My life decisions would have no doubt been different. It is a constant struggle not knowing that you are an INFJ or who is different you or everybody else. Seeing these videos I’m sure is helping so many more young INFJs find themselves.
You can't claim because you are 100% happy as an INFJ that one is truly not an INFJ because no one is 100% happy no matter what personality they are. That stands to reason. I am an INFJ and there are times I question myself because no one is ever content. Nor would I consider "NOT" being an INFJ because it is a gift from God I have this perception and intuitiveness nature that have saved my life and others. Including an incident of emergency surgery that I felt I had to go to the hospital immediately. I was operated on by my MD/surgeon and when he was able to talk to me after surgery he said something that scared and frightened me. He said, "I've never seen anyone's insides of their body be beautiful?" When I heard this I was concerned and it hit me, he sounded as if he wanted to place some of my organs in a bottle? Damn, I called my mother and told her to pick me up within four days. Later, I heard from my doctor who was upset because he couldn't get a hold of me. I told him I was at my mother's house recuperating from surgery. He brought up the reason for calling which he wanted to ask me two important questions. One, how old was I? I said, "I'm 30 years old." The second question are you single or married? I said, "single." He suggested I consider a hysterectomy and I said this to him. "I will not have a hysterectomy because I plan to get married and eventually have children." If I allowed this MD/Surgeon I would not have had two wonderful children that I take pride in raising and a lovely granddaughter. This is why I listen to my "gut instinct" because I am always right on those occasions and feel blessed to know the difference of being INFJ intuitiveness can provide to me each time.
Say this again or anything related to it and you are fucking done! " feel blessed to know the difference of being INFJ intuitiveness can provide to me each time." How do you not or why are you not aware of how fuck'd up this is to say and to feel as it relates to MBTI, 16 types and the disrespect you show all other 15 types. What in the fuck is wrong with you? I do not care how old you are, or how religious you are and, fact be said, the older and the more religious... ...the worse it is to me. Get a grip and get off your pedestal. Get grounded and comment with IQ on the cognitive functions and how they operate within you as it relates to my opinion(s) and those of other commenters. I will not allow this to continue so I suggest you stop commenting or get on the right path which first can be accomplished by stepping down off your pedestal. TYWC - Marty
I said NO. For the relationship to work there must be a real effort, commitement and worry EVERYTIME! I think an INFJ knows that this effort must be taken in first 3, 6 and 9 months and forever because an INFJ is perfectionist and knows that if he gets lasy, his partner will notice this change and conflits may be present. If so it will damage the relationship. An INFJ dont want conflict and discussion, they want peace and harmony. That is what i believe.
As an INFP-T, I got shocked by his answer HAHA... My answer really is "It depends" but it did turns out to be a "No" because my answer is: "No, because there are many moments that we can value after the first 3,6,or 9 months of relationship. If you got to know the person by bit and you don't like that person, then it won't feel like the best because I feel like the best would mean the peak of the relationship and I would think that the peak will be having problems that both of you endured, both of you tries to understand each other, both of you values your relationship, both of you wishes to each other happiness. " Actually, I haven't been in a relationship with a girl nor do I think about romatic feelings now but I just based it on the possibilities because there will be a realization, character development, happy moments and many more to it. Him predicting that I'll reason out some b*llsh*ts is goddamn funny and right HAHAHA. I would say that there is no right or wrong answers but you can still learn something from other's answer (And that's why I learned something from this video) For me, I still think both answers are right because having "Yes" as an answer and 3, 6, or 9 months as a peak of the relationship will show how much effort and trust each person will put to each other. Having "No" as an answer means that you want to know more about that person, you want to see that person grow and developed and want to value every moment. My real answer actually is "It depends" and I won't change that but his answer did made me think about it and come to a realization. But the disadvantage of my answer as "No" really got answered by the INFJ's "Yes" because you'll determine how willing the person is to put some effort to their relationship, how much trust the person put, and how much love they can give to each other. It will also show how toxic or good the relationship can be and how each person is willing to change or accept the things the way they are for just the beginning of 3, 6, or 9 months. Seriously speaking, I feel like I can learn more about INFJ though.
You know I am going to leave this alone and let you walk through this on your own and not comment. I can see the wheels turning and my opinion or comment is not of value to you. Keep on your path; it will be the right one for you when you make the decision for you. I heard you. :) TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Idk if I am just overthinking to your comment to me but I feel like I got the message (Maybe you'll get disappointed at this comment because I am saying my thoughts and I'll make it literally about relationships and although I understand the complexity of your comment since I have a lot of interpretations about that, I won't make my comment too many and too complex about how I understand your comment). Sorry because I am still inexperienced in this kind of topic (About having in a relationships) and I also thank you because even if I think you do not agree with me, you just tell me to experience it and let me decide if I am at that position. Thank You! Also, I am sorry if I overthink about your comment HAHA...
No, we are solid. My comment was based on this statement within your first comment: "Actually, I haven't been in a relationship with a girl ..." At that point, I finished reading and then said what I did because of it. Until you go through the ups and the downs of a relationship that is romantic it is tough to talk to it but does not make it impossible; just hard to 100% relate. - Marty
People always fake in the beginning so Yes it’s the best it’s ever going to be. After that ppl slack off and so called “love” aka effort dies out 😒 Then you start to see ppls true colors...
@@marty_glenn Sometimes hoping that they can be better than my intuition or that they will do better. But still they fail smh. Lol hey Marty! This was a while back wasn’t expecting a response lol. Hope you had a great day! One love ❤️
Maybe next time remind them to stay on top of their game; but at the same time do not offend them. Ya, good luck. lol My life story too. I know I am a few weeks behind on my comments but will finish them all this week and get back to current. Sometimes it takes me time to get back to viewers. :) - Marty
I'd like to believe that no, a relationship will continue being good after that time if you're a good match, but I know that realistically it most likely will be and after that things will get stale, you'll see all their flaws, the things they do that piss you off, you might argue, life gets in the way. So I put yes. But I've also never been in a relationship, I'm only basing this assumption off what I've seen from relationships around me; my friends, family, stories etc, what people have told me about love and relationships. Idk what that means for my type but that's how I looked at it
What it is and feel free to say I am wrong... For the INFJ male or female the issue is in the FINE details. That little extra thought and that comes in very strange ways and places in time. It is almost like the INFJ does things in a way and at times that no other human would think and more importantly think to do. It is at that point and when it happens often without a return from other; that is when the INFJ walks away. TYWC - Marty
I’ve been questioning my type, wondering if I’m INFP or INFJ. Wholeheartedly answered “No” because for me, I believe love will grow stronger and stronger in time and I’m hopeful each day will better. Perhaps naive b.s! I suppose INFP is my best fit after all. Great video! I admire how straight to the point you are :)
I answered yes and I have been married to by beautiful complicated husband for 20 years. It’s been on hell of a ride. I have learned so much love. Completely complicated love Thankful
Thanks Marty your positive thoughts literally made me feel euphoria ...right timing I fell in love with my life It’s a beautiful feeling to love it all...good and bad
I have noticed that I tend to treat people with respect or the way I want to be treated all the way up until I've had enough and quietly do the door slam maneuver. It's hard for me to relate on any level other than respectful or nothing. If people I'm in a relationship with whether romantically or otherwise are willing to hang in there with me for a better tomorrow I'm willing to go the Second Mile usually and hope things get better. I answered no because yes would feel a bit hopeless like this is all there is. Surely we can learn together and have a better future.
One night, I randomly click on a video about the "most rear personality type" - Wow, something new for me that I did not know about! By the time the video is done, I'm all left there like "what...?....neah.. nope" and so the journey of discovering who the hell am I begins.. Had an egocentric flash with the thought of being part of this rare category but then again, I could just blame all of my weirdness on my zodiac sign (but wait, I don't believe in that..) And so the struggle begins and I'm in that corner when I really don't know anything anymore. INFP sounds like a so much happier type of personality and more easygoing. So I focused on that, did a personality test, it came INFP. But then I couldn't really find myself in the description. A part of me seems to be like that but then I'm not. So thank you for your videos, I'm going to go through them, and maybe at the end of it, I'll finally figure myself out... On a side note: I genuinely think it takes about 3 to 6 months tops to figure out if a new relationship will work or not. I mean cutting all bullshit and being completely honest with yourself, YOU KNOW, even if you might choose to ignore it. And usually, from my experience, those 3 to 6 months are the best and can never come back. All the flaws and the not-so-good things get processed after this time frame that changes the dynamic.
The path you see to the river amidst the mountain peak is true. Let go of the truth and fall back from the mountain, you find every other path leads to the river, the journey. Your truth becomes your perspective.
Thanks Marty Glen. Fascinating. I had a seriously difficult time answering the question because I never entertained that question in the first place -- most likely because of the 'common practical wisdom' ingrained when growing up: whatever the personality type, ya' gotta make the marriage work. However when you did compel us to answer your question, my gut feeling was still YES, EVENTHOUGH I recognized there are way too many variables to make it a solid YES. I'm married to an ESFP by the way.
Of course. You either get the questions or you don't. I think most INFJ's do get it and can read between the lines. Thank you for the comment. TYWC - Marty
Hi Linda. Now this is where I love to go... ;) Ready? ( Accuracy to within one year plus or minus. 16 - 18 - 1 Girl ( Single ) 19 - 21 - 1 Girl ( Single ) 22 - 23 - 1 Girl ( Single ) 23 - 38 - 1 Girl ( Married ) 38 - 43 - 1 Girl ( Single ) This one should not have happened; not heealthy 44 - 45 - Nothing 46 - 47 - 1 Girl ( Single ) 47 - 50 - 1 Girl ( Single ) ( Single ) = Non Committed to Marriage This should be good. ;) Now with a little ego, never forget just you are talking with and I would like to add that I have never had a one night stand nor would I even know what to do with one. Most people are very shocked when I open my mouth and talk about relationships and what I know and the experiences I have had and most woman just sit back and stare at me while men just change the subject to sports. What do you think? TYWC - Marty
Oh. OK. I am trying to figure out if I am INFP or INFJ after working hard to overcome weaknesses for decades. I find how people arrive at their assessments based on their history & experience fascinating. I am glad to hear you skip the one nightstands. Thx. I'm sorry but my sarcastic gallows humor prevents me from addressing the fact that you always chose girls instead of women in a diplomatic fashion. I was kicked off the politically correct train long ago for bluntness. Thx for your honesty. I have avoided men for so many years (post assaults history) that I fear I am idealistic what a man or a relationship will look like. If you connect with me with everything going 100% great in the first 6 months then I know you are full of bs. I hope to find a real man with flaws that I can believe 100%... I believe we can work on getting better & growing together better as years go by kinda thing. I think it sounds immature to expect a relationship to be better in the beginning. You don't even really know them in all their dark manifestations yet by then. It is still in shallow understanding in the beginning. I suppose that is as far as many might choose to go. Obviously I know nothing about relationships as I just found out my Ex husband announced he was CIA at deathbed.😲 Thx for chat! #ExNurseApologyTour
Maybe do not worry so much on the label. Keep trying them all on but focus on the inner self and happiness. The labels will come, I promise. :)) I always say ' girls ' because I am 50 going on 20. I cannot change the immaturity and youth within me. I have tried and still try to this day. As for your beginning of the relationship. I get what you are saying. But please try to understand that most relationships have a love bomb period and then relax so in essence how could the love bomb not be the based while your point: Really getting to know someone is magic and the best of the best. Do not cut yourself short as I was shocked to find out just who the mother of my children is even after 30 years. Trust me you are not alone. - Marty
My initial reaction was yes, but then wavered at how literal the question should be taken and if I should answer no. For instance, there isn't really a way to know if the best ever will be at 6 or at 10, 11 or 12 months (which was already outside of your range). If you had asked the first year then I would have said yes without questions.
I answered no, because i don't put myself first!!!. I like to see how my relationship , my partner develops. I go for the long term. I want her to have a great live (with or with out me). I don't believe in, "the first six months are the best" Hey, you are talking about two people here . If she is not happy, then i'm not happy. But i'm glad i'm an INFP now. So i will pick up my guitar again and try for the sixth time to start playing that thing. And don't make useless comments like these anymore, or try to help other people by un-knotting their little problems. O.k. i think, INFJ, INFP, INTJ are very close. But only the INFJ is stupid enough to have this stupid urge, to get (uninvited) involved in solving small and big problems, for many "situations". And they do not even make every one happy with that. But at my first wedding night, i looked out of the window. And she asked me why?? I said , because they told me, this is the best knight of your live.....
Hi erik. The INFJ is a very imperfect perfect type at creating its own problems as well as sticking its nose into places it does not belong. Much like all the MBTI types, life experience and the interaction of other types cannot be counted. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn spoken like a true INFJ... In my past i might have said NO to the question... however now I am older being a Turbulent INFJ... what a great fuking teacher... I have learned a shit load here and would never take that away yet say NO to it now... none of it matters man really... just your own wisdom and learning... through the lens of yer own temperament... arghhh. :)
lol Pretty much. What your original comment did get right is the amount of topic I cover and how many are going to view it and come from a different place so how do I approach it. I am sure you get it and to your original comment: I get it. Well said. - Marty
@@marty_glenn its multidimensional... ha! The harder u try to define and figure it out the more elusive IT becomes... One perspective never fits all... its not possible... in this day we have much wider bandwidth to play so nailing it 100 per cent... hope. Especially one here... who are you talking with...? old young ignorant wise... ya ok...
This sounds like everyone is wanting to be an INFJ, and why would that be? One could be here to make sure they are actually INFP, which is very INFPish. I for one, don't want to have a personality that is ready to leave a relationship 3 to 12 months later. Thanks, but no thanks.
Curious... how is that: INFPish? No matter what type you are if you do not want to be one way, you can work on it and be another way. Not always easy but the key is knowing where you are so you can fit for fit and than decide to move for another fit. Make sense? TYWC - Marty
Never been in a relationship. So I would say : Practically / in reality - Yes But I always hope / imagine - No I'm still confused about my type. God knows what I'm..
What’s up with all the avoidants in your audience? So many people who’ve never even been in a relationship at all? That’s not INFJ behavior; that’s trauma victim behavior. I don’t think a person who’s experienced extensive childhood trauma can be accurately typed with MBTI. I had great parents, no trauma, and couldn’t wait to get into a relationship, from the time I was freaking 6! I knew I wanted to be a mommy and a psychologist(the latter didn’t pan out, but I’m considering a career shift to life coaching) around that age as well. While I didn’t necessarily have a great example of what a marriage can be when I was a kid, I did have a great example of what a husband could be and what a mommy could be, and I believe that is why I not only wanted it so badly, but I went out and found it. INFJs don’t quit, right?
Thank you for having a strong opinion with such depth of research into self while listening and watching my video. You came to such a rigid conclusion using your life today and the life of your past. My job is done here; thank you for sharing yourself and your opinion. See you in the next viewed video Love Lee. :) TYWC - Marty
As Infj this is true. Infp seem to be so more optimistic in this first question. Infj always seem pessimistic, they aren’t they just see the reality of life everywhere they go. Why people do what they do and always trying to figure it out
I should have come to you first before divin into the infj type after my mbti test results, I said no to your question because a relationship can always get better later, sure things are amazing in the beginning but most are, the relationship has a chance to settle and develop more later in the relationship because it always hits cloud 9 in the beginning
You should date a healthy INTJ woman. They put our effort and performance to the test. Old me would have said yes, until I married an INTJ. We constantly encourage and support each others self progression and self improvement. We both only compare ourselves to ourselves the day before. C.S.Joesph says we are low in "Love" comparability. I am telling you as an INFJ we don't settle and neither does a healthy INTJ. The mushy of a relationship is not priority, we are all form and function focused and it ignites passion and inspiration.
I think I said NO because you don't even know each other that early in a relationship, you are in love with what they appear to be. My answer would be NO because I have hope that through time we will learn how to love each other better.
Well im infj and i would say yes because it would be more new and when its a new relationship there is more excitement + more caring about eachother etc
INFJ here, and I said no. But I know where you are going with this Marty, I know what you're trying to say is that often INFJs can end up in one-sided relationships. Ones where the other party is not willing to partake in the same level of deep intimacy, trust, and effort that an INFJ does. People play this weird dance in relationships where you have to peel away the layers, where people don't want to trust right off the bat, so I often find that I have to pretend to not care as much as I do so to not come off as too much too soon, and the whole time I feel like I am walking on eggshells.I also have been in relationships where things did feel one-sided, like I understood my partner more than they understood me, that I'm willing to do more to keep the romance alive even after the honeymoon phase begins wearing off so I know where you are coming from when you say that an INFJ should say yes, because in most cases, things do go downhill. I however, have noticed that there are certain MBTI personality types that do mesh well with us that can offer us what we are looking for. These other types are also rare so it is really difficult to find these partners, but I do think it is possible. But I think for a general rule, with most personality types, especially sensory types and thinker types, you will have a hard time finding somebody who can dish us back what we dish out in terms of depth (due to sensory vs intuitive) and in terms of emotional bonding(due to feeling vs thinking). I mean let alone any iNtuitive personality type is going to be rare. If you divide population with N vs S, it's 30% intuitive and 70% sensory, so you can already see the difficulty begin there in the difficulty in finding a suitable partner in terms of depth. Perhaps I am biased though since I have been lucky enough to just recently find an INFJ partner and everything has been going great. It really is refreshing to see somebody willing to put in the same level of intimacy and effort that I do in the relationship and really understands all of my weirdness inside and out that nobody ever understood. Sometimes it's like looking at a mirror to some extent, but also it is somebody very different at the same time with somebody who has come to different conclusions and has had different life experiences than you. Anyways, this is my rationale for why I say "no" Marty. I think there is hope! Haha, it is just really hard to find.
@@Josh-db1ls Honestly, it was so lucky. We were both happening to look for people in the wrong place, of all places on Tinder 😅 I wish I had better advice on how to find one since it was pure luck. But hey, then again, some of the self proclaimed INFJs I have seen on dating sites, quite a number of them have a tendency to be quite stuck up just by looking at their description alone. So there are some toxic ones out there. But It was really funny because when we started talking to each other I had no idea that she was an INFJ. After some skype calls I was stunned at how similar she was to me, like literally thinking to myself that she was like the girl version of me. I suspected it, I had already typed her as a INF_, I hesitated on the J and P since I was like no way, what are the chances?? She then randomly told me she took the mbti test, and told me she got INFJ again on it (and it made so much sense) and prettymuch confirmed what I thought was extremely improbable haha. She was annoyed how she keeps getting INFJ since she hates the career prosects and hates being "the way she is" which is kind of like the INFJ curse Marty has mentioned before which I happen to agree with. I rather not be INFJ myself lol too. But it is nice to finally be with somebody who actually gets how I work. Like we really do read eachothers minds all the time, it's kind of like looking in a mirror. And it also leads me to believe that mbti is so much more nature than nurture as some people debate (In fact I'm led to believe it is almost entirely nature) because despite having such different backgrounds, we are extremely similar.
No you get it. Very well. It is abstract in meaning and in know way is an accurate test by any stretch. Its almost a joke but what a joke it is. TYWC - Marty
I disagree. I will admit that I have fluctuated between INFP and INFJ a lot, but I have found that I cannot maintain the INFP personality long term. It's a mask I wear when I'm trying to be ...what I perceive as...better (specifically less judgmental of others, more magnanimous, but I always fail). I know I am INFJ, for good or ill. But I also answered your question no, but not for the reasons you stated. I said no, because it takes more than 9 mos to work out all the kinks and fall into a state of peace and comfort. To me, it's the comfortable, more predictable part of the relationship that is the best part. I will grant you that it is more exciting in the beginning, more engaging, while you are still learning each others idiosyncrasies and the passion is fresh and fiery, but I just find the best part of the relationship to be after the excitement has settled.
@@marty_glenn No no, keep the marker. I just am trying to give thoughtful responses. :P Maybe I just need to be contrary to feel seen? If I agreed, well I wouldn't have much to say. :P
For others who might do this for this comment is past tense... ( I am speaking to the younger Q) Well Q. I get it. But maybe look into you a little more. The reason I say this is this: The next time you meet someone you really like, I want you to tell them this and see how it goes. If it goes well then you are golden but if it goes bad then maybe you are not so shiny. I for one cannot find fault in your comment but I can find abuse toward others who will care and love you if you are not forth coming with this information. Does that make sense? TYWC - Marty
I think I am an INFP and I have a friend who we think is an INFJ, I don't know if we will ever be sure. I honestly don't know my answer to this question what does that say? LOL O :
I am giving the best because I'm already there. However, I know that others are not like me, and take a while to be there. Therefore once the other person reaches where I am THAT will actually be the best relationship. ... I When I take the test it usually rates INFJ, but sometimes INFP.
Very interesting... I've instinctively answered yes (I doubted it was infj answer because you know infj.. future oriented people..) but yes we're there since day one... we give all since day one in the moment...don't think about the future so much in this case. And definetly I don't think it comes affection and care after time passes by, it is already there or not there at all (for me at least)
He lost me, I couldn’t even answer the question. Because not everybody is the same. I think maybe he’s approaching . That question from an male INFJ perspective. With an underlining of unhappily pasts romantic relationships. Or maybe it’s the norm and routine that makes you feel boredom. If people don’t know how to handle boredom in a relationship ,it will destroy it. I think it’s possible to a least make better decisions in a future partner. In part is our fault , what happens in our relationships. We are the ones who except these people in our lives. Let’s just think about it, what is a great , a good or a healthy and decent romantic relationship is suppose to look and feel like?🤓 It’s not suppose to be over the moon and peaches and cream everyday. That’s for sure. We must achieve adult and emotional maturity. Many of us haven’t meet our true match because we are choosing the cr$&@?t people to be with. And when we’re with the right ones. We lose interest in them because their not exciting enough.,Don’t stand out enough, or not the best looking. We have to learn how to reprogram our brains , body’s and souls. And maybe we stand a chance. Keep hope alive. ✊🏻
Hi Vickey. You know it is interesting. i agree with everything you said. Spot on. I meant what I said within the video and it not out of the realm of possibility that you saw and heard me as you did. I cannot say that you are wrong. The video was spot on for some and I lost you. Does not make you wrong or ? Reason... You said: "Because not everybody is the same." Me: Once past your opinion about what I said and your comment is correct and accurate for my life to this day. TYWC - Marty
Marty Glenn , Hi Marty , I just made an observation on what I saw . And I saw that literally pour out your pores. I heard you loud and clear. It took me some time to understand your point of view. But then I realized that you are a man. And I had to be in your head not mine. And Bingo! But I still don’t know what I am and I think that’s not important. Because I know for sure what I’m not. And I’m content 🙂
I expect (myself and) the partner, husband, to be 100% there with commitment, or it's doublemindedness and unfaithfulness. Are you saying that though INFJ trusts his/her partner enough to marry him/her, this trust will fly out the window for the insecurity of being an INFJ? It seems to me the INFJ would have that distrust issue before even marrying, which means the first few months or weeks or days wouldn't even be the best. Pardon me, I'm a little confused here. I am a very imaginative person in the creative arts : music, art, writing, expressing myself. I am also a justice person, a mercy-justice person. Though I didn't have a voice when young and most of my life for being shut up and shut down, I now have a voice, and, BOY is that voice misunderstood, and the shutting down crusade is tsunami magnitude. So now I have "severe mental issues." Everyone is very intelligent in my family, but it baffles me that they can't see nor attempt to try to see family behavior I exposed. They can't see that I can understand so much. I was the truth-teller, then scapegoat, then black sheep and majorly invalidated and gaslighted growing up, and it happened recently after I was blessed with an estranged brother who entered my life and extended himself to me who wants to help me to permanently get away from my abusive narcissistic husband. I was full of hope. So after a while I felt free to expose questionable behavior in a couple siblings, esp after the year older brother sibling told me a counselor friend, who is good friend to these two brothers, whom the other brother talked me into talking to because he would be another advocate for me. This counselor my year older brother phished for information, the counselor was apparently unethical and shared, supposedly, that I have severe mental issues supposedly because I did "all the talking." The counselor did all the talking the first conversation, telling me his story. Counseling was never like this in all my experience. I talked at length because I thought a counselor would want your story and background information. And I had a big question mark in my mind, anyway, about the "necessity" for talking with him. I could see his glitches, weaknesses, including where he is "off" and where I thought he should know or understand something. But he seemed to be very sincere, and too tearfully (a spiritual man) emotionally so at times, I thought. Big question mark. Was looking for discernment. But I was forebearing and patient, we all have weaknesses. So brother called me on day of very severe pain. Was healing from totalling my car. No matter I told him it was terrible physical pain, he played me as being an emotional wreck in crisis "wanting his comfort as usual." Not believing me that my husband is very abusive. He phished with me where I felt he should mind his own business. (Boundary crossing). He told me counselor said I have severe mental issues, said whole family said that to, and "are concerned." I exposed this major invalidating and gaslighting to brother who wants to help me get away from husband's abuse. His response: "You blasted MY brother and MY sister ." I, truth-teller, then scapegoat, then black sheep in my family who felt the ever-present grief throughout my life because I a lways felt like not part of the family. Terrible grief pain rose up. NOW I experienced severe mental health pain. According to crusading brother it's okay for family members to talk about other family members. I made it clear that a rule was put on me to NOT do this. Hmm. Yeah. He said he and family members know me. My objection to this was dismissed. Why? Because she has mental health issues, and because of that, she can't see it, doesn't know herself. WE do......... !!! WOW !!! WOW!!! WOW !!! OWWWWWW !!!! The next day after "You blasted MY.........." when I couldn't take the pain any longer, I called the oldest, brother. No, he wasn't part of family scheme. He is very kind sensitive, hopeful. He is perceptive about family just like I am. I had been through some terrible rough waters for many years, but have had much help to have a voice and finally be set free. I finally last September had the strength to tell 1 up brother to not relate "that way" to me any more. He: "But YOU made me do it!" splutter. A month after I was done talking to brothers' friend counselor, came huge misdiscernment, huge misinterpreting, huge misconstruing, he believed he had me, believed he found the hole, the weakness, the entitlement to cross boundaries.... to be VERY HIGH-PITCHED "concerned"........ I mean, right, he hasn't built any trust. And THAT is the level where one starts. (And ends). I am THANKFUL for oldest no-meddler grounded brother. He's great. I can have family healing with him. I don't need those others. I'm not putting up with nonsense. They may NEVER see me accurately, justly, mercifully. Can you see I may alternate between INFP and INFJ? ???
My answer to the question was immediately and emphatically "YES, absolutely!" I couldn't possibly have explained, at that moment, the intricacies of why that was wholeheartedly my answer; luckily you did that for me - so thanks for that! My answer was merely based on my own experience, and a burning sense of logic telling me, "It's ALWAYS that way - it always WILL be that way, and anyone who thinks otherwise is ignoring some crucial facts." I mean absolutely no offense to anyone who answered yes, and of course when I speak of "crucial facts" I realize that said facts might seem crucial to me and not to someone else. I have no idea if I'm an INFJ and I really have no stock in the matter anyway. I don't give much of a shit, I just find it fascinating. I definitely agree with you, and thanks for the video! /end ramble
Hi Wirs... Which is why I ALWAYS question comments that say I am happy or it is a wonderful life. I always do. You cannot fake it on this one and that is a fact. You can lie to yourself and say '?' but the truth is always there in the smile inside you are searching for. TYWC - Marty
Mmmmm naw 20 years in. I’m fairly sure I’m INFJ. And I did give my partner 100% from day one. But he didn’t give me 100%. So of course things got better. I stuck with him. And it took a while. But then he went all in. And thing have been getting better and better ever since. I’d be interested in hearing from an INFJ who is still with their first ever partner. Especially if they are ISTJ. It really is a match made in heaven.
The problem might also be that we give everything without letting them know that we need some back to i agree that relationships end very soon when u k a party has very less to offer the other but i think if we just take a break n come back together it could go back to being normal again becz in that period we can redirect our focus on ourselves again since we tend to lose ourselves sometimes loving others
You mean I have to tell someone to give back to me? I cannot do it. Great advice but not for me. If it was only that easy and I could do it. TYWC - Marty
Im an infp but answer yes and agree with the reasons. But im not in infjs functions generally. All thats infp craps love, com and stuff are also in me. If a relationship survives more than 6 months the qualities might reduce a little but i already have faith based on those short experience. Adding the dream i constantly have, these relationship prolongs and persists until i see the pattern of discommunication comes forward i would leave and dream for another. So far it works like that. 😁
Maybe you swing from branch to branch but what is important is this: " You are self reflecting and MBTI or not, that is a great thing not only for you but for all those you share your life with. I hope they do the same for you. TYWC - Marty
My thoughts on the question were, "Well, I don't know. Nothing really lasts more than 3-4 months in my experience. And then when you said INFJ's are counting down the time, I was like...oh..yep. That's me. I'm currently talking to someone and it's almost been 3 months. I have a 3 month test to see if it lasts, then 4, then 6. I have already prepared for this in my mind. If it gets past 3 months without any big bumps or it ending, then I'm like okay, we'll see if it gets to 4 months. If it gets to 4 months, my next test will be 6 months.
That is a good way of setting some boundaries. I think that would work out just fine but sometimes those little spats in the beginning are a great thing; only you can know for sure. TYWC - Marty
I was so confused at first because, the time is not what makes us love another person less. But if I am gonna be in a relationship there is no thing like my love for you will be finished someday, if you love someone you just love.
I don't consider myself INFJ or INFP, so this video isn't for me. For me, a romantic relationship is the whole thing and its good or bad based on the whole thing, and there is no "best" time frame. I will know at zero months whether it's going to be work out long term or not because I will not even start a romantic relationship until after I've been firmly friends with someone for at least four or five months solid prior. But I'll be real honest? I've only been in three romantic relationships, period, each lasting 5 to 8 years. I go all in and I can't think of any period of time that was "best" with these people in a manner of months. It was all "the best part" for all of it, right up until the last year, or, right up until the last month, in one case. But I tend to spend far longer than the average person vetting people I'm going to consider letting into my life. I tend to only associate with like-minded people. If you spend enough time knowing who a person is before starting getting serious with them, then you'll have established mutual respect, trust and understanding. They won't change, you won't change. People don't change (easily, quickly, usually at all), only your perception of them does. I find it absurd that people regularly let strangers into their lives before getting to know them. I find it absurd that it is commonplace to want to build a romantic relationship on mysterious, vulnerable unknowns. That's not sexy imo, that's a recipe for anxiety and surefire disaster. Most relationships end in divorce because most people shouldn't have gotten together in the first place. It's bizarre to me that it doesn't occur to the vast majority of people that maybe, just maybe, a lot of pain can be avoided by getting to know someone before emotionally investing them. But then again, I figure they can't help themselves. I find that I bounce between INTJ and INTP. There's overlap where I'm relating to your videos, but then some things are just ??? foreign concepts to me. Sometimes I consider that I might fall into INFJ or INFP, which is why I'm on this video, but I'm not really feeling it here.
You said: "But I tend to spend far longer than the average person vetting people I'm going to consider letting into my life." also said this: "They won't change, you won't change. People don't change (easily, quickly, usually at all), only your perception of them does." But you said this within the first sentence: "and there is no "best" time frame. " I think you get my point. ;) TYWC - Marty P.S. You are the first comment I have ever read that gets it with regards to trying on for size. Well done and I think you are a healthy MBTI person. Keep trying on those types for size. ;))
By the fact in my own relationships, ive given ppl a timespan of how long they’ll give a fck with me 😂 only for them to downplay it say im chatting bs, only for them to gradually prove u right 🤦🏾♂️😂
Relationships are hard as they are; only to have other issues self created for more difficulty. It is not easy for sure. TYWC - Marty * Sorry for late response
I'm still not sure I'm not an infj rn but I could never just love someone in a relationship because of how easily ppl lie n put on a false look for the person they're with, unless I knew her inside and out like the back of my hand I wouldn't date her nor trust her enough to give 100% of myself because there's the mistrust ppl always seem to have, not to mention with how often girls in 2022 cheat on apps it would be 100% impossible to love anyone 100% without reservations and if that makes me not an infj then I'm happy not to just fall into ppl n hope for the best
What if I've never been into a relationship all my life? I've really never tried being in a relationship because I don't feel like it at all and it is not necessary. Moreover, I find it quite scary because I've seen and heard of an interesting number of relationships getting quite messy even in the early stages. Some are even playing around all for the cheap thrills.
You are missing out. Please sift through your own mental messy and maybe the messy you see on the other side might clear up a bit or better yet... Find the relationship that matches your messy and maybe, just maybe, two messy situations will turn into a perfectly clear vision of happiness. I think that is what I am doing with my life. Nice comment you made and how great is it that I was able to make another comment from yours; could not have done it if your messy did not mesh with my messy. ;) TYWC - Marty
Having relationships is important even though they are hard and can be messy. They are in the end still with it. Thank You for Watching and the Comment (TYWC) - Marty
As an INFJ I don't think this is a great measuring stick. There's a lot that goes into people perceptions of relationships. I agree that the first six or so months are often the best, there are still a slim, very small, no, smaller, SMALLER, (pass me the microscope jr), chance of developing a deeper long term connection. BUT (big butt) good f-ing luck finding that unicorn, lol!
But what if I am 80 with my Partner and we know each other like our own pockets (like communicating with eyes/having funny moments through knowing where the limits are) I thought that this would maybe be better than the high feeling in the start ... (ofcourse I only would choose someone who I could be with like this, but with time you know each other better, like cheese.)
Well I respect your opinion. But you have to understand different people can have different opinions. And just because we have same personality that doesn't mean we will agree on same things (Adolf Hitler and Gandhi were not similar at all,although they have same personality type) . The question you have asked is totally depends on one's personal experience not on someone's personality type. Again no hate just expressed my opinion I am an INFj and I answered no that doesn't change my personality type. If I wanted to be any personality type than that would be INTP there is no way I am calling myself INFJ just because I think it's rare.
I agree with you and get your comment. The issue is this: Across RUclips many want to be INFJ because of the rare. It is a thing; sad but true. TYWC - Marty
Mr Glenn your slightly wrong here's why You see my heart and soul said YES but ulltamatly I had to say No for a simple reason I have not experienced that kinda BLISS yet in my life At the very least my birth sighn makes me a REFLECTION or a SHADOW Of the INJF at the very least And here's why listen or watch 12 AMAZING facts about Taurus PERSONALITY / Taurus zodiac sign let me know your thoughts
I like to call this type of comment: Checkmate Basically what it means is that no matter what I say back I would only be arguing instead of telling you that I agree with your comment. Not in that I ‘agree’ with you but there is nothing to disagree with. There is a massive difference, well said comment. TYWC - Marty
Hi Marty Well first of all I could see what each type's respond would be to it and I was right but for me accepting that the first six month will be the best EVER .... Oooh man it really made me feel hopeless and sad cause a part of my brain say s yeeesss fuuuck that s reality people will get just used to each other or some get lazy and whatever .... But I also belleive it can stay as good as the first if both part just keep being perfectionist and put effort on that....I just know saying yes to the question was doing something really uncomfortable to me ....maybe because just a part of my brain believes it is right...so I answered no😂 Now what do you think?😀infp or infj?
Just wondering...why would you want to enter a relationship if you know it ain't going to work. The only relationship i keep running back to is the one with my mother....fucking confusing!!!
Why would an INFJ say yes if soul searching with self and others is a true aspiration of a lot of INFJs? You can't get much deep internal work done in 9 months. I love how relationships can get deeper even through struggles. I disagree that I am who I am in the beginning of the relationship too. I reveal who I am over time with someone. I mask hardcore to be according to their perceived needs in the beginning. I have a strange inner world, it takes me time and a sense of safety to reveal. So yea, I'm an INFJ that says a no here.
I can see your point. However, I answered "NO". Of course, the first 3/6 months of relationship seems better in first glance, because everything is new and fresh. We put all of our heart, trust, effort and try to be the best version of ourselves. And after this, transformation starts for both of the partners. I put all of my effort to be and stay in tune with them, and the direction of relationship depends on other person also. I will give them multiple chances, because I understand them and their all intentions. If they resist going deeper with me, relationship will fail. Otherwise, I think, partners gets closer to each other and love grows and becomes deeper and deeper by time. So, it is very common idea that, after first 3/6 months the excitement is gone. But for me, the best part starts after ending of the first time's excitement. I'm an INFJ and I had an INFP boyfriend. Actually, we talked about this exact situation. He said that the first months are best. And he gave up on me very early, because he was thinking that everything should fall their place magically. He was in his head all the time, never tried to see things from my viewpoint. So, it is not easy to generalize this subject and decide about the entire personality for just one question.
Hi Nigar. Please do not take this video as FACT, it is only a reference to a way of thinking or feeling as it relates to what an INFJ could possible think or feel. It is only a possible way of thought. Make sense? As Iread your comment 2nd time I see that ou would not be getting the point. I see that now. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn , I know that you were talking about how love and effort doesn't increase by time, but it is already there on the first day. I was just explaining why the answer can't be 'Yes' for everyone and wanted to make sure that people doesn't get confused about their mbti type, because this is not solid as you mention in 5:37 . Good luck!
ohhh. Okay. Got it. Yes you are correct. Well said. We are on the same page on this one. Luck? Do I need some? Do you have some for me? I can always use some and more of some... Hand it over! ;) TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn you can go for enfjs they are✨ I answered no because... I felt betrayed but that was just a misunderstanding or I might say narrow view but after I got out from that tiring loop it's the best life ever it's like I'm a whole new person they'll love you with all of their heart that too at first sight
I know how you feel!
Oh my word. Stunning, so accurate. We know before we even enter into it, the first few months will tell us everything. It speaks to the almost psychic ability of us INFJs. Even if it won’t work out, we know that because we see the future of it all. Every possible wrong turn or twist. And still sometimes choose to enter into it.
I might argue the word: sometimes
lol ;) TYWC - Marty
I answered no because somewhere, good relationships will bloom. It's unfair to assume that things won't deepen and grow past a certain point. Sure, there's more conflict, a good relationship should grow stronger over time. Maybe I'm not an INFJ haha
Maybe and maybe not. But what you are is this: smart and capable of thinking for yourself. No hate toward me or my views; open minded you are.
I see more INFJ. Now spend the next 10 years doing the same questioning and maybe than you will know for sure.
I am 51 and each and every day I still want to know more about myself and what exactly I am. For today: INFJ
TYWC - Marty
I absolutely disagree, feel this is exactly backwards and speak from only my own knowledge and experience as an INFJ and add to that was married to an INFP.
I would love to have a depth of discussion about this, but not in a comment format.
Point is, to say this one question and answer is definitive really made me come out and speak on my utter disagreement for the good of others who are questioning things.
Hi Teri. Well straight forward is always a good thing. But that is okay if you do. I am never trying to be 100% right or anything like that and to be honest, that was like my first attempt at MBTI since I do not really even know it. But soon, I will and then watch out. lol TYWC - Marty
Hey, thx for helping me not feel like the only creep with different vision in the room, as usual !
Hey Teri! Fancy seeing u on here. Small world! Yes we both have had the same thoughts.
I'm an infj and I chose no also. Answering yes feels kind of hopeless as I would hope the relationship would continue to grow and get better and better over the years.
FINALLY figuring out after all this time I've been mistyped. It feels good finally knowing, tbh.
First video I saw from you was the "100% Accurate INFJ Test" and the question of "would you choose to be a different type if you could".. I couldn't answer it. I couldn't answer yes or no, not because I hadn't experienced turmoil, not because I hadn't experienced common 'INFJ' traits, struggles, and symptoms, not EVEN because I wanted to deny that I was or wasn't an INFJ. I just simply couldn't tell.
Thank you, Marty. Truly. And you already figured, but yes, I'm an INFP.
Good for you. Now you can learn all about the other types and continue with the ideas of the INFJ and with that, you will now study the INFP and be way better off. Forget all that totally stupid bullshit with the rare and reading minds and crap. Learn what the letters mean and study oh that P and J changes everything. Do you see what I am saying and where I am going with this? Now that for today you have made a decision, now you can figure out why you were confused and or not getting it right. See how powerful that is? Great work. TYWC - Marty
Yesss!!!!! Because the other in the relationship consistently drops off efforts....as I continue to exhaust myself caring for them with increasingly small amounts given in return. It is heartbreaking to think I’ll never find someone who understands reciprocity.....but then maybe my expectations are too high- something else I’m told again and again....🤷♀️
Correct. ;) TYWC - Marty
At first thought I said yes. Then I thought about it. How beautiful it is to grow old with someone in a healthy relationship with unconditional love and other thoughts about how love should be. But then I thought about how I never had a relationship like that and then I was just confused. 🤣Maybe that’s just a BP fantasy. Just a fantasy. Not real life 😢😂😅
Interesting. My initial reaction was yes and then I considered that the other person might actually become more of themselves over time (and I might like them more than I initially thought.) Internally, I know it isn't likely. I never even considered the things you listed as factors in my reasoning (love, affection) I can say that your videos are helping me identify my thought process clearly and that is more helpful than any test I've been able to find.
Hi Miriam. You said: "more helpful than any test I've been able to find." Me: Experience in LIFE
No MBTI or ??? can replace experience and wisdom from making mistakes and getting back up. Nothing!!!
Thank you for the great comment.
TYWC - Marty
That was my thought process, too!! Then came the explanation and I was like "that is so right, why did I think 'no' even for a second. Such a big worry for me is that how can I trust someone for so long. Great video! I'm binge watching as many as I can! Let's see if I am what I think I am lol
@@bigImranAbbasfanMDi'm 3 years late, but same here.😮
INFP here. All of this struck as my own experience in relationships, in fact I said for about 3 months it’s the best. I know for sure I’m not an INFJ, though. I think the two types have enough similarities that they could both answer yes to this question, personally. But it’s also worth mentioning that many of my past romantic endeavors have been with other INFPs - this comes with a host of its own potential issues.
Hi Bella. I will touch on the MBTI like with like but my first is a big: NOPE Even though you might think it best, I do not think it best. TYWC - Marty
Your limiting an INFJs interpretations. I am an INFJ and I said no because I know that people need some time to get on the same wave length as me and realize how deep of a connection there could be between two human being, because they normally do not experience it.
And this is only one way to interpret it Nd there are many others.
You certainly can suggest you idea as a point of orientation but not as a clear indicator of personality type.
Thank you!
Hi. There is no right or wrong Nani. Also, we both know this is not a foundational or real question but is a point toward the rare or those who WANT to be INFJ for self esteem issues. We have to assume most persons watching and listening do understand my point. I think if you read many of the comments that is the case. We cannot ever assume that a viewer cannot read between the lines. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn I know what you are trying to say. Just the level of certainty you are saying it is what I think is wrong with it. You only present one way to interpret the no as an answer. If you said that this can apply to the viewer if he says no only when his line of thinking which lead him to this answer matches the presented one in your video then it would be more reliable. In my opinion an INFJ couls answer with yes or no. You just have to consider the explanation and then judge wether he is an INFJ or not.
I hope that I don't come across as if I wanted to belittle you or attack your content. These thoughts appeared in my mind and I wanted to share them.
Well let me say this in another way..I do appreciate what you are saying but can I ask this: Why police me or any other viewer(s)? Why not: Let people figure things out on their own or ask me what I meant. Have the faith that others will do that which is seen in the comments. I answer every comment and you are not the first to say this or ask this but many comments explain the details. You came across as great. No problem. I get it but I cannot worry about what each and every person thinks nor will I. As you can tell my content and what I do on a NON-Monetized channel is above par and offers some really different points of view. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn I was not trying to police you. I do appreciate your content and I did not talk about you not having different points of view. I am letting people figuring things out on their own, I am one of these people ;)
Thank you!
Nani... ;) This is the first thing you said within your first comment: "Your limiting an INFJs interpretations"
That is policing. ;) - Marty
p.s. Thank you for the effort. I get it. ;)
I said no, because during the earlier months of a relationship people tend to mistake infatuation for the actual relationship and there's a high probability of self-deception with regard to oneself and the other person. It's only later, when that dies down, that you even get your first inkling of the true state of the relationship and you see if you have what it takes to make it last. Even if you were giving it a 100% effort at the beginning and your partner was too, the real test is what happens when you're not being rewarded for that initial work with the hormones, the spicy romance, etc. Will you continue to put the work in, or will you let it fizzle when the rewards seem "lesser" or at least not as flashy? Just my take anyway.
I agree and the INFJ does the work and remembers the beginning and does not fail for if it did...
...that would be fake. The INFJ will not live inside that environment. TYWC - Marty
You could make a case for both types answering yes or no to that one question. An INFP can see diverging possibilities from their current relationship. Could get better or worse based on external intuition. The INFJ could answer No because of an internal adoption of relationship values. The principle that intimacy develops over time and having children add to the relational experience. So the many future experiences are viewed as enhancing what is a strong value of intimacy.
You always can and that is what makes the video valuable is from your eyes and your life experiences. TYWC - Marty
I am an infj and I answered no. Well, the first meet with other people will always exciting and delightful but I think you forget that infj are future oriented. If a relationship doesn't make sense to their Ni-Ti loop, they will cut the bonds off. So when they go in to a relationship, they will give their whole to it to maintan it. 6-9 month of hapiness sounds very vague.
well he did say in a romantic relationship.. if you don't even feel it in the first place then the video doesn't apply
He said 6 to 9 months before the partner changes and basically gets complacent. The effort of maintaining a healthy relationship isn’t really an effort for the infj because it’s our baseline, it’s how we’re wired. If an infj’s partner is another type then after some time their efforts diminish and we as infjs know this.
I found it extremely difficult to answer that question because I have never been in a serious relationship before.
Hi Rylee. You are either so lucky or or so lucky ;)) TYWC - Marty
@@looperbirhinger7043 i totally agree with your statement
Actually, me too HAHA.
@@marty_glenn I was thinking the same thing, love the response to that Marty
Lol I stopped dating 15 years ago... I had trouble with it as well.
I think you are looking at this without considering time and mindsets ... hard to tell how I will think in a few years depending on where my mindset is. There are too many other variables to answer yes or no... thinking about it from a typical standpoint it should vary from person to person ... like you can't predict whether or not "the best" part is at any part. It goes up, and down at specific junctures... depends on living status ... just too many variables to be able to answer yes or no
You are 100% accurate. I will touch on this ina video later today. Well said. TYWC- Marty
Exactly.
Thank you!! WOW!! Amazing!!
I know you're just passing on your knowledge as well as you're just addressing one area of trait/characteristics of the INFJ in this video, but it still hurts for the partners. To know this now, is so explanatory how some people have and can behave in their relationships. Why are we laughing at those people who are unaware of what the INFJ does and never brought this insight to their partner's attention? For you to know this insight and have continued with this pattarn with all your relationships, why? Why do you seek long-term relationships? Why do INFJ want love, sex, connection, and compassion and affection so much from their partners within those months? Which are just their false fantasy, too high of expectation for their partner, and/or when certain unexpected changes happen, to just laugh, forsake her and throw her out. It's so cruel. No wonder why the number one statistics of crime is passion for love.
I do thank you so much for this video! This needs more views and shares. People do need to know, how INFJ show up in their relationships and what is going on in their minds.
WOW, INFJs should do a better way of helping their partners know this thought process when they open the door and let them in. Or they should just have short-term, unattached, unexpected and open relationships. I know there are women as INFJ as well, but men don't be a pussy and just tell your partner how it is. If you say you gave it your all on the first day, then you do need to tell ypur partner. If you don't....it's you who has the internal issues with TRUST. INFJ's you better check yourself too. Don't be a counterfeit! If that person chooses to be with you, at least they will knows what in store.
You pretty much just summed up what I was doing TODAY. I literally made a list of how I'm gonna lead a potential relationship in the best direction possible. All because I've worried about them switching up on me lol. I never thought about the love, and compassion we would be giving to each other. Only about the direction in which I will take this relationship which is bettering ourselves for the sake of the future so well both end up happy in the long run. The funniest thing to me is that you sort of knew it before I even did! This made me laugh pretty hard haha. Very Insightful as always! Always a pleasure watching your videos.
Hey G. Sorry for late response. Glad I could help you out and make watching me worthy of your time. Always doing me best and thanks for the compliment. TYWC - Marty
I answered NO, and I am certain I am not INFP but INTJ.
The reason I answered NO is because frankly, I was thinking about how the relationship shifts from their side to probably more honesty (realness) than at the "honeymoon phase".
I don't generally consider that phase as the "best" while it really is. But that's semantics.
Anyway... for me, though I do put all the effort in since day one... I am also aware that people tell you their deepest things after a year or more, not before.
I see the first 6 months as the best and the real. It is life for me and after the 6 months is me getting along. Not always but as a general rule it fits. TYWC - Marty
Makes sense, becoz you have Fi-tert
Yes gal here. I am amazed to be figuring all this out as a senior citizen...better late than never. Thank you for doing what a INFJ does so well - contemplates the big issues from so many angles that others' heads spin....then finds WITH PINPOINT ACCURACY the simple yet difficult answer to what you (and I) have agonized about for YEARS.
... and the agonizing still continues. What is understood is that you cannot change it and that there is nothing wrong with you, maybe not even with the world around you, but you are are above it and different to it, yes the INFJ most certainly is. TYWC - Marty
I don’t know if this is a conclusion that all INFJs will reach by a certain age, or if we start over expecting perfection when we get into a new relationship, regardless of age. But at 38 years old, I’ve finally accepted that I will always be the one who gives more to the relationship. I have learned to manage my expectations, and that if I were to hold out for someone who can give as much as I do, I’ll never have the opportunity to be happy with a partner. I’ve only been in two relationships, but in each one, I made my partners better people. Since I broke up with my ex, 14 years ago, he’s become a mere shell of what he was during the first 7 years of our relationship. My husband went from being a man who was terrified of commitment, completely lacking in self awareness, to the most amazing partner I think I could ever find. I definitely still have problems with him, but the good far outweighs the bad, aside from the fact that I can talk to him about all of my ideas that most other people would think are crazy, and he actually listens to me, and almost always ends up on my side. This is a very new outlook for me, and I’ve never been happier. My dad didn’t get to this place, if he ever truly did, until he was close to 50. I can imagine many INFJs never do. My husband was dismissive avoidant when we met. He was 29, and his longest relationship had been two months. If he hadn’t met me, he’d still be alone, or worse.
I've been INFJ since I took the test about 15 years ago. Decided to take it again today and I'm INFP, but right on the border at 51% prospecting, 49% judging. But then watching this video I did answer "yes" without hesitation.
Impressive talent by the way, being able to write backwards 🙂
Spot on. And does it really matter what you are? It will in one second:
"Nope. You are not INFJ or INFP. You are INTJ!"
lol That is what I get from people all day long and then, when I lash back out, they call me out as ENFP. WTF?!?! lol
I am sure you get it and good for you. You are a rare person by my calculation and I am not even sure what MBTI type you are. TYWC - Marty
I answered no because for me the best lasts a few days , maybe week and I realize soon it's not my love mate., but a liar.
OMG Marty, you are so far ahead of me with knowing who you are. I answered yes with no need to write it done within a second of you asking the question. I had no doubt I was INFJ but you have confirmed that I am several times now with your videos. You have advanced thoughts on the subject that can not be denied and couldn’t be more true.
Thank you for the positive comment and supportive words. It is a daily journey. TYWC - Marty
I seem to be INFJ at work and INFP when in my leisure time, I'm still trying to get some more understanding on this. As for relationships it takes two to tango so I think this maybe an over simplification.
Where is the stress? That stress is your shadow trigger and the more stress the more shadow the more you know your real type because once you figure your shadow the opposite MBTI is the real you when calm and not stressed. It is that simple. Look at me ...
When I get pissed off I act like ENFP and when I am calm I act like INFJ. The key to me is the last letter: Stressed = All over the place. Not Stress = solid and you cannot change my mind. TYWC - Marty
I'm an infp all along. Assumed I'm an infj at times but answered no as I believe relationships get better in time
Hi Marty. been watching your channel. Don't think your a narcassisst. Lol good video Completly get what your saying. Since I've heard about this personality type, I've watched way to many videos and been looking into personality types. INFJ or not I'd be ok. But I answered no, because after overthinking the question, I said no because I would want improvment and to grow. Mostly cause I'd be concerned how my partner is feeling. Once you explained the yes and no, my answer would have been yes. I've always been full in 100% in relationships. Usually ends cause me and then their cur from my life for good..
cut from my life****
Well said and thank you but I am a proud narcissist but a recovering Malignant Narcissist. ;) TYWC - Marty
How can I answer? I have never been in a romantic relationship.😂 I do think there will be more fun and interesting things going around when you first date someone. But then, as the time goes on, the relationship will be more deep and so, it will probably become more mature and there will be understandings between each other. So, for fun and fluttering feelings and stuffs, it would be a yes. For more deep understanding, it would be a no. Personally, I think I might go for no because I want a deep understanding state between each other. I would want to know that person more and want that person to know me more. So that we will be more comfortable with each other and not pretending stuffs since I hate that a lot. Even when it comes to friendships, the longer it gets, the more you feel comfortable and more trust between each other comes. At that stage, I might begin to open more about myself because I rarely do unless it feels right. Honestly speaking, even with my current close friends, there are many things I don't open up about. Like when I'm feeling blue and I need somebody to actually listen to me but ofc, I don't open up. I can't really pinpoint why I do that but I don't really feel like they are the one and that they will actually understand although, I do understand that they will try their best to consult me cuz I know they really are great friends. And so, normally, when I meet someone new, I want to skip all those small little boring talks and just go deep right away. But anyways, from my imagination, I do think that bubbly, sweet and fun things would be the best for a romantic relationship in the early stage. So is it about the fun or deep? I would like if it's more specific. Sorry, I always like things to be specific. Especially questions. 😂😂
Guess I'm an Infp after all. When I first took the mbti test, It showed infj and for a while that was what I got but years later it shifted to infp.
Also that comment stung about us people wanting to be infj because it's rare and shit. Honestly, some of us are just confused and want to know for sure what our type is. I relate a lot to both infj and infp. But this question was so simple and my only answer would be no. So assuming every infj would have chosen yes, im happy to know I'm an Infp.
WHAT IN THE FUCK???????
Do you know that out of every video. Over what has to be 10,000 comments covering over 400 videos you are the only person to ever surrender to the fact that you wanted to be or steered toward INFJ because of the rare and yet was honest enough with self to want the truth? You’re rare; know that! (period) - M
You tubers is how I identified I’m an INFJ. I didn’t test for months after I discovered my truth. I didn’t know it was a thing to test for. I wouldn’t take a test because I had seen so many videos I did not want that info to come into play with my answers. I waited a couple months before, when I felt I had a completely clear open head to take the test. INFJ. After another 4 months or so I decided to take another one. Again waited till I was in an open mindset and I tested INFJ-T. I’m 47 now and just found out at 46! Fuck. If I knew then what I know now I’d be in a much different place. Still I wouldn’t want to be a different person. My life decisions would have no doubt been different.
It is a constant struggle not knowing that you are an INFJ or who is different you or everybody else. Seeing these videos I’m sure is helping so many more young INFJs find themselves.
Thank you for the nice compliment and the comment. Just wait...
This will get better to a degree many have no idea. Just wait. ;) TYWC - Marty
Man questions like this are great. Short sweet straight to the point.
I bet I could have been shorter but thanks the kind words. TYWC - Marty
What a chaotic presentation.
Always doing my best, never doing less than...can you say the same? TYWC - Marty
You can't claim because you are 100% happy as an INFJ that one is truly not an INFJ because no one is 100% happy no matter what personality they are. That stands to reason. I am an INFJ and there are times I question myself because no one is ever content. Nor would I consider "NOT" being an INFJ because it is a gift from God I have this perception and intuitiveness nature that have saved my life and others. Including an incident of emergency surgery that I felt I had to go to the hospital immediately. I was operated on by my MD/surgeon and when he was able to talk to me after surgery he said something that scared and frightened me. He said, "I've never seen anyone's insides of their body be beautiful?" When I heard this I was concerned and it hit me, he sounded as if he wanted to place some of my organs in a bottle? Damn, I called my mother and told her to pick me up within four days. Later, I heard from my doctor who was upset because he couldn't get a hold of me. I told him I was at my mother's house recuperating from surgery. He brought up the reason for calling which he wanted to ask me two important questions. One, how old was I? I said, "I'm 30 years old." The second question are you single or married? I said, "single." He suggested I consider a hysterectomy and I said this to him. "I will not have a hysterectomy because I plan to get married and eventually have children." If I allowed this MD/Surgeon I would not have had two wonderful children that I take pride in raising and a lovely granddaughter. This is why I listen to my "gut instinct" because I am always right on those occasions and feel blessed to know the difference of being INFJ intuitiveness can provide to me each time.
Say this again or anything related to it and you are fucking done!
" feel blessed to know the difference of being INFJ intuitiveness can provide to me each time."
How do you not or why are you not aware of how fuck'd up this is to say and to feel as it relates to MBTI, 16 types and the disrespect you show all other 15 types. What in the fuck is wrong with you? I do not care how old you are, or how religious you are and, fact be said, the older and the more religious...
...the worse it is to me.
Get a grip and get off your pedestal. Get grounded and comment with IQ on the cognitive functions and how they operate within you as it relates to my opinion(s) and those of other commenters. I will not allow this to continue so I suggest you stop commenting or get on the right path which first can be accomplished by stepping down off your pedestal. TYWC - Marty
I said NO. For the relationship to work there must be a real effort, commitement and worry EVERYTIME!
I think an INFJ knows that this effort must be taken in first 3, 6 and 9 months and forever because an INFJ is perfectionist and knows that if he gets lasy, his partner will notice this change and conflits may be present. If so it will damage the relationship. An INFJ dont want conflict and discussion, they want peace and harmony. That is what i believe.
As an INFP-T, I got shocked by his answer HAHA... My answer really is "It depends" but it did turns out to be a "No" because my answer is:
"No, because there are many moments that we can value after the first 3,6,or 9 months of relationship. If you got to know the person by bit and you don't like that person, then it won't feel like the best because I feel like the best would mean the peak of the relationship and I would think that the peak will be having problems that both of you endured, both of you tries to understand each other, both of you values your relationship, both of you wishes to each other happiness. "
Actually, I haven't been in a relationship with a girl nor do I think about romatic feelings now but I just based it on the possibilities because there will be a realization, character development, happy moments and many more to it.
Him predicting that I'll reason out some b*llsh*ts is goddamn funny and right HAHAHA.
I would say that there is no right or wrong answers but you can still learn something from other's answer (And that's why I learned something from this video)
For me, I still think both answers are right because having "Yes" as an answer and 3, 6, or 9 months as a peak of the relationship will show how much effort and trust each person will put to each other.
Having "No" as an answer means that you want to know more about that person, you want to see that person grow and developed and want to value every moment.
My real answer actually is "It depends" and I won't change that but his answer did made me think about it and come to a realization.
But the disadvantage of my answer as "No" really got answered by the INFJ's "Yes" because you'll determine how willing the person is to put some effort to their relationship, how much trust the person put, and how much love they can give to each other. It will also show how toxic or good the relationship can be and how each person is willing to change or accept the things the way they are for just the beginning of 3, 6, or 9 months.
Seriously speaking, I feel like I can learn more about INFJ though.
You know I am going to leave this alone and let you walk through this on your own and not comment. I can see the wheels turning and my opinion or comment is not of value to you. Keep on your path; it will be the right one for you when you make the decision for you. I heard you. :) TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Idk if I am just overthinking to your comment to me but I feel like I got the message (Maybe you'll get disappointed at this comment because I am saying my thoughts and I'll make it literally about relationships and although I understand the complexity of your comment since I have a lot of interpretations about that, I won't make my comment too many and too complex about how I understand your comment).
Sorry because I am still inexperienced in this kind of topic (About having in a relationships) and I also thank you because even if I think you do not agree with me, you just tell me to experience it and let me decide if I am at that position. Thank You!
Also, I am sorry if I overthink about your comment HAHA...
No, we are solid. My comment was based on this statement within your first comment: "Actually, I haven't been in a relationship with a girl ..."
At that point, I finished reading and then said what I did because of it. Until you go through the ups and the downs of a relationship that is romantic it is tough to talk to it but does not make it impossible; just hard to 100% relate. - Marty
I answered "No" because I see my relationship (to be) as flawless.
At least you answered. Show up and have an opinion. Thank you. TYWC - Marty
I said "No" because a relationship with more months or years must be deeper and I would know the Person more and love him more.
There is no right or wrong but the thoughts you take away that improve your smile. :) TYWC - Marty
Making a decision to 100% trust suddenly IS a recipe for failure a year later ...
People always fake in the beginning so Yes it’s the best it’s ever going to be. After that ppl slack off and so called “love” aka effort dies out 😒 Then you start to see ppls true colors...
The only thing I might add is this: How come you let it happen? TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Sometimes hoping that they can be better than my intuition or that they will do better. But still they fail smh. Lol hey Marty! This was a while back wasn’t expecting a response lol. Hope you had a great day! One love ❤️
Maybe next time remind them to stay on top of their game; but at the same time do not offend them. Ya, good luck. lol My life story too.
I know I am a few weeks behind on my comments but will finish them all this week and get back to current. Sometimes it takes me time to get back to viewers. :) - Marty
Thank you for your amazing explanation and the effort you put into it.💖
I'd like to believe that no, a relationship will continue being good after that time if you're a good match, but I know that realistically it most likely will be and after that things will get stale, you'll see all their flaws, the things they do that piss you off, you might argue, life gets in the way. So I put yes. But I've also never been in a relationship, I'm only basing this assumption off what I've seen from relationships around me; my friends, family, stories etc, what people have told me about love and relationships. Idk what that means for my type but that's how I looked at it
What it is and feel free to say I am wrong...
For the INFJ male or female the issue is in the FINE details. That little extra thought and that comes in very strange ways and places in time. It is almost like the INFJ does things in a way and at times that no other human would think and more importantly think to do. It is at that point and when it happens often without a return from other; that is when the INFJ walks away. TYWC - Marty
I’ve been questioning my type, wondering if I’m INFP or INFJ. Wholeheartedly answered “No” because for me, I believe love will grow stronger and stronger in time and I’m hopeful each day will better. Perhaps naive b.s! I suppose INFP is my best fit after all. Great video! I admire how straight to the point you are :)
INFP or INFJ... keep testing. That is the key and what I do daily. It is a constant looking in the mirror. You are winning. ;) TYWC - Marty
I answered yes and I have been married to by beautiful complicated husband for 20 years.
It’s been on hell of a ride.
I have learned so much love.
Completely complicated love
Thankful
20 years is not a joke. keep it up and find the smiles. TYWC - Marty
Thanks Marty your positive thoughts literally made me feel euphoria ...right timing
I fell in love with my life
It’s a beautiful feeling to love it all...good and bad
I have noticed that I tend to treat people with respect or the way I want to be treated all the way up until I've had enough and quietly do the door slam maneuver. It's hard for me to relate on any level other than respectful or nothing. If people I'm in a relationship with whether romantically or otherwise are willing to hang in there with me for a better tomorrow I'm willing to go the Second Mile usually and hope things get better. I answered no because yes would feel a bit hopeless like this is all there is. Surely we can learn together and have a better future.
I think self reflection and doing our best is the simple key to it all. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn TYWC?
Hi.
TYWC = Thank You for Watching and the Comment. - M
ive never been convinced as much as today about being an INFJ !
That is good but always keep on the reflection within the mirror. It is very important. ;) TYWC - Marty
One night, I randomly click on a video about the "most rear personality type" - Wow, something new for me that I did not know about! By the time the video is done, I'm all left there like "what...?....neah.. nope" and so the journey of discovering who the hell am I begins.. Had an egocentric flash with the thought of being part of this rare category but then again, I could just blame all of my weirdness on my zodiac sign (but wait, I don't believe in that..) And so the struggle begins and I'm in that corner when I really don't know anything anymore. INFP sounds like a so much happier type of personality and more easygoing. So I focused on that, did a personality test, it came INFP. But then I couldn't really find myself in the description. A part of me seems to be like that but then I'm not.
So thank you for your videos, I'm going to go through them, and maybe at the end of it, I'll finally figure myself out...
On a side note:
I genuinely think it takes about 3 to 6 months tops to figure out if a new relationship will work or not. I mean cutting all bullshit and being completely honest with yourself, YOU KNOW, even if you might choose to ignore it. And usually, from my experience, those 3 to 6 months are the best and can never come back. All the flaws and the not-so-good things get processed after this time frame that changes the dynamic.
You sound very normal to me and get it. Keep on the study and I really think you will find what you are looking for. Sound thoughts. TYWC - Marty
The path you see to the river amidst the mountain peak is true. Let go of the truth and fall back from the mountain, you find every other path leads to the river, the journey. Your truth becomes your perspective.
;) No right answer and no video of mine is perfect for all. ;) TYWC - Marty
Thanks Marty Glen. Fascinating. I had a seriously difficult time answering the question because I never entertained that question in the first place -- most likely because of the 'common practical wisdom' ingrained when growing up: whatever the personality type, ya' gotta make the marriage work.
However when you did compel us to answer your question, my gut feeling was still YES, EVENTHOUGH I recognized there are way too many variables to make it a solid YES.
I'm married to an ESFP by the way.
Of course. You either get the questions or you don't. I think most INFJ's do get it and can read between the lines. Thank you for the comment. TYWC - Marty
How long was your longest relationship, for context of your basis of judgment? Thx for sharing your opinion Marty.👋
Hi Linda. Now this is where I love to go... ;) Ready? ( Accuracy to within one year plus or minus.
16 - 18 - 1 Girl ( Single )
19 - 21 - 1 Girl ( Single )
22 - 23 - 1 Girl ( Single )
23 - 38 - 1 Girl ( Married )
38 - 43 - 1 Girl ( Single ) This one should not have happened; not heealthy
44 - 45 - Nothing
46 - 47 - 1 Girl ( Single )
47 - 50 - 1 Girl ( Single )
( Single ) = Non Committed to Marriage
This should be good. ;) Now with a little ego, never forget just you are talking with and I would like to add that I have never had a one night stand nor would I even know what to do with one. Most people are very shocked when I open my mouth and talk about relationships and what I know and the experiences I have had and most woman just sit back and stare at me while men just change the subject to sports. What do you think? TYWC - Marty
Oh. OK. I am trying to figure out if I am INFP or INFJ after working hard to overcome weaknesses for decades. I find how people arrive at their assessments based on their history & experience fascinating. I am glad to hear you skip the one nightstands. Thx. I'm sorry but my sarcastic gallows humor prevents me from addressing the fact that you always chose girls instead of women in a diplomatic fashion. I was kicked off the politically correct train long ago for bluntness. Thx for your honesty. I have avoided men for so many years (post assaults history) that I fear I am idealistic what a man or a relationship will look like. If you connect with me with everything going 100% great in the first 6 months then I know you are full of bs. I hope to find a real man with flaws that I can believe 100%... I believe we can work on getting better & growing together better as years go by kinda thing. I think it sounds immature to expect a relationship to be better in the beginning. You don't even really know them in all their dark manifestations yet by then. It is still in shallow understanding in the beginning. I suppose that is as far as many might choose to go. Obviously I know nothing about relationships as I just found out my Ex husband announced he was CIA at deathbed.😲 Thx for chat! #ExNurseApologyTour
Maybe do not worry so much on the label. Keep trying them all on but focus on the inner self and happiness. The labels will come, I promise. :))
I always say ' girls ' because I am 50 going on 20. I cannot change the immaturity and youth within me. I have tried and still try to this day.
As for your beginning of the relationship. I get what you are saying. But please try to understand that most relationships have a love bomb period and then relax so in essence how could the love bomb not be the based while your point: Really getting to know someone is magic and the best of the best.
Do not cut yourself short as I was shocked to find out just who the mother of my children is even after 30 years. Trust me you are not alone. - Marty
My initial reaction was yes, but then wavered at how literal the question should be taken and if I should answer no. For instance, there isn't really a way to know if the best ever will be at 6 or at 10, 11 or 12 months (which was already outside of your range). If you had asked the first year then I would have said yes without questions.
You get the question but the time does not really matter. Just the overall message. TYWC - Marty
I answered no, because i don't put myself first!!!. I like to see how my relationship , my partner develops. I go for the long term. I want her to have a great live (with or with out me). I don't believe in, "the first six months are the best" Hey, you are talking about two people here . If she is not happy, then i'm not happy. But i'm glad i'm an INFP now. So i will pick up my guitar again and try for the sixth time to start playing that thing. And don't make useless comments like these anymore, or try to help other people by un-knotting their little problems. O.k. i think, INFJ, INFP, INTJ are very close. But only the INFJ is stupid enough to have this stupid urge, to get (uninvited) involved in solving small and big problems, for many "situations". And they do not even make every one happy with that. But at my first wedding night, i looked out of the window. And she asked me why?? I said , because they told me, this is the best knight of your live.....
Hi erik. The INFJ is a very imperfect perfect type at creating its own problems as well as sticking its nose into places it does not belong. Much like all the MBTI types, life experience and the interaction of other types cannot be counted. TYWC - Marty
You are talking in absolutes here... Not really a great strategy... On paper yes in life no... I think you are missing things here...
Missing things? Nope... How about I got it ALL wrong and within that WRONG is a little RIGHT! TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn spoken like a true INFJ... In my past i might have said NO to the question... however now I am older being a Turbulent INFJ... what a great fuking teacher... I have learned a shit load here and would never take that away yet say NO to it now... none of it matters man really... just your own wisdom and learning... through the lens of yer own temperament... arghhh. :)
lol Pretty much. What your original comment did get right is the amount of topic I cover and how many are going to view it and come from a different place so how do I approach it. I am sure you get it and to your original comment: I get it. Well said.
- Marty
@@marty_glenn last point ...would any of really when pressed change who we are... would u really??? hmmmm Red or blue pill??
@@marty_glenn its multidimensional... ha! The harder u try to define and figure it out the more elusive IT becomes... One perspective never fits all... its not possible... in this day we have much wider bandwidth to play so nailing it 100 per cent... hope. Especially one here... who are you talking with...? old young ignorant wise... ya ok...
The question doesn't apply to me cuz I have never been in a relationship lol. My first reaction was confusion😂
This made me giggle because it's so true 😂.
Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty
Game is on that hit me really u r too good at exoplaining its soo amzing u r too right
This sounds like everyone is wanting to be an INFJ, and why would that be? One could be here to make sure they are actually INFP, which is very INFPish. I for one, don't want to have a personality that is ready to leave a relationship 3 to 12 months later. Thanks, but no thanks.
Curious... how is that: INFPish? No matter what type you are if you do not want to be one way, you can work on it and be another way. Not always easy but the key is knowing where you are so you can fit for fit and than decide to move for another fit. Make sense? TYWC - Marty
Never been in a relationship. So I would say :
Practically / in reality - Yes
But I always hope / imagine - No
I'm still confused about my type. God knows what I'm..
One day you will know and the journey is the key; not the destination. TYWC - Marty
What’s up with all the avoidants in your audience? So many people who’ve never even been in a relationship at all? That’s not INFJ behavior; that’s trauma victim behavior. I don’t think a person who’s experienced extensive childhood trauma can be accurately typed with MBTI. I had great parents, no trauma, and couldn’t wait to get into a relationship, from the time I was freaking 6! I knew I wanted to be a mommy and a psychologist(the latter didn’t pan out, but I’m considering a career shift to life coaching) around that age as well. While I didn’t necessarily have a great example of what a marriage can be when I was a kid, I did have a great example of what a husband could be and what a mommy could be, and I believe that is why I not only wanted it so badly, but I went out and found it. INFJs don’t quit, right?
He’s super cute! Makes me chuckle. And I wrote down ‘yes I do!’
Thank you and always doing my best. ;) TYWC - Marty
As INFJ I totally agreed with you.
Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty
NO, your question doesn't work at all. I know what I am. It feels like you put to much personal perspective on your information.
Thank you for having a strong opinion with such depth of research into self while listening and watching my video. You came to such a rigid conclusion using your life today and the life of your past. My job is done here; thank you for sharing yourself and your opinion. See you in the next viewed video Love Lee. :) TYWC - Marty
Yes. Ive experienced it. More than once
Thanks for the clarification!
We move between the IMBT things!? You mean people can change types or fluctuate between the use of cognitive functions?
Yes. In a way but your comment is too simple. But yes. TYWC - Marty
As Infj this is true. Infp seem to be so more optimistic in this first question.
Infj always seem pessimistic, they aren’t they just see the reality of life everywhere they go. Why people do what they do and always trying to figure it out
I should have come to you first before divin into the infj type after my mbti test results, I said no to your question because a relationship can always get better later, sure things are amazing in the beginning but most are, the relationship has a chance to settle and develop more later in the relationship because it always hits cloud 9 in the beginning
You should date a healthy INTJ woman. They put our effort and performance to the test. Old me would have said yes, until I married an INTJ. We constantly encourage and support each others self progression and self improvement. We both only compare ourselves to ourselves the day before. C.S.Joesph says we are low in "Love" comparability. I am telling you as an INFJ we don't settle and neither does a healthy INTJ. The mushy of a relationship is not priority, we are all form and function focused and it ignites passion and inspiration.
I will keep that open and as an option. Thank you for this advice. TYWC - Marty
I think I said NO because you don't even know each other that early in a relationship, you are in love with what they appear to be. My answer would be NO because I have hope that through time we will learn how to love each other better.
Well im infj and i would say yes because it would be more new and when its a new relationship there is more excitement + more caring about eachother etc
INFJ here, and I said no. But I know where you are going with this Marty, I know what you're trying to say is that often INFJs can end up in one-sided relationships. Ones where the other party is not willing to partake in the same level of deep intimacy, trust, and effort that an INFJ does. People play this weird dance in relationships where you have to peel away the layers, where people don't want to trust right off the bat, so I often find that I have to pretend to not care as much as I do so to not come off as too much too soon, and the whole time I feel like I am walking on eggshells.I also have been in relationships where things did feel one-sided, like I understood my partner more than they understood me, that I'm willing to do more to keep the romance alive even after the honeymoon phase begins wearing off so I know where you are coming from when you say that an INFJ should say yes, because in most cases, things do go downhill.
I however, have noticed that there are certain MBTI personality types that do mesh well with us that can offer us what we are looking for. These other types are also rare so it is really difficult to find these partners, but I do think it is possible. But I think for a general rule, with most personality types, especially sensory types and thinker types, you will have a hard time finding somebody who can dish us back what we dish out in terms of depth (due to sensory vs intuitive) and in terms of emotional bonding(due to feeling vs thinking). I mean let alone any iNtuitive personality type is going to be rare. If you divide population with N vs S, it's 30% intuitive and 70% sensory, so you can already see the difficulty begin there in the difficulty in finding a suitable partner in terms of depth.
Perhaps I am biased though since I have been lucky enough to just recently find an INFJ partner and everything has been going great. It really is refreshing to see somebody willing to put in the same level of intimacy and effort that I do in the relationship and really understands all of my weirdness inside and out that nobody ever understood. Sometimes it's like looking at a mirror to some extent, but also it is somebody very different at the same time with somebody who has come to different conclusions and has had different life experiences than you.
Anyways, this is my rationale for why I say "no" Marty. I think there is hope! Haha, it is just really hard to find.
How did you be so lucky to find another infj
@@Josh-db1ls Honestly, it was so lucky. We were both happening to look for people in the wrong place, of all places on Tinder 😅 I wish I had better advice on how to find one since it was pure luck. But hey, then again, some of the self proclaimed INFJs I have seen on dating sites, quite a number of them have a tendency to be quite stuck up just by looking at their description alone. So there are some toxic ones out there.
But It was really funny because when we started talking to each other I had no idea that she was an INFJ. After some skype calls I was stunned at how similar she was to me, like literally thinking to myself that she was like the girl version of me. I suspected it, I had already typed her as a INF_, I hesitated on the J and P since I was like no way, what are the chances?? She then randomly told me she took the mbti test, and told me she got INFJ again on it (and it made so much sense) and prettymuch confirmed what I thought was extremely improbable haha. She was annoyed how she keeps getting INFJ since she hates the career prosects and hates being "the way she is" which is kind of like the INFJ curse Marty has mentioned before which I happen to agree with. I rather not be INFJ myself lol too. But it is nice to finally be with somebody who actually gets how I work. Like we really do read eachothers minds all the time, it's kind of like looking in a mirror.
And it also leads me to believe that mbti is so much more nature than nurture as some people debate (In fact I'm led to believe it is almost entirely nature) because despite having such different backgrounds, we are extremely similar.
100% Nature. Then add Nurture on top. Very well said and good for you. I hope it goes very well and Tinder can get the dating app prize.
No you get it. Very well. It is abstract in meaning and in know way is an accurate test by any stretch. Its almost a joke but what a joke it is. TYWC - Marty
@@TheUnknownAlly You both are really lucky to find each other 🙂
I disagree. I will admit that I have fluctuated between INFP and INFJ a lot, but I have found that I cannot maintain the INFP personality long term. It's a mask I wear when I'm trying to be ...what I perceive as...better (specifically less judgmental of others, more magnanimous, but I always fail). I know I am INFJ, for good or ill. But I also answered your question no, but not for the reasons you stated. I said no, because it takes more than 9 mos to work out all the kinks and fall into a state of peace and comfort. To me, it's the comfortable, more predictable part of the relationship that is the best part. I will grant you that it is more exciting in the beginning, more engaging, while you are still learning each others idiosyncrasies and the passion is fresh and fiery, but I just find the best part of the relationship to be after the excitement has settled.
Catch ( incoming marker... ) Very well said. I agree with a slight twist, of course. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn No no, keep the marker. I just am trying to give thoughtful responses. :P Maybe I just need to be contrary to feel seen? If I agreed, well I wouldn't have much to say. :P
HaHa. Your comments are spot on. Do as you wish... :) TYWC - M
I first said yes because of all those reasons but then remembered how I wasn't really opened up in a 9 month relationship
I agree with this wholeheartedly. From Day ONE! All in or nothing :P
Hey Josh. Yep and I would not have it any other way. TYWC - Marty
Yeah like I always wonder why it happens to me
i found that in my youth i would break up with people within a year. Stagnation is a turn off. When I give that's what it is.
For others who might do this for this comment is past tense... ( I am speaking to the younger Q)
Well Q. I get it. But maybe look into you a little more. The reason I say this is this:
The next time you meet someone you really like, I want you to tell them this and see how it goes. If it goes well then you are golden but if it goes bad then maybe you are not so shiny.
I for one cannot find fault in your comment but I can find abuse toward others who will care and love you if you are not forth coming with this information. Does that make sense? TYWC - Marty
I think I am an INFP and I have a friend who we think is an INFJ, I don't know if we will ever be sure. I honestly don't know my answer to this question what does that say? LOL O :
I am giving the best because I'm already there. However, I know that others are not like me, and take a while to be there. Therefore once the other person reaches where I am THAT will actually be the best relationship. ... I When I take the test it usually rates INFJ, but sometimes INFP.
I think we all have several types that we can identify with and I think that is a perfect way to live life. Me too. TYWC - Marty
Very interesting... I've instinctively answered yes (I doubted it was infj answer because you know infj.. future oriented people..) but yes we're there since day one... we give all since day one in the moment...don't think about the future so much in this case. And definetly I don't think it comes affection and care after time passes by, it is already there or not there at all (for me at least)
:) Well said. TYWC - Marty
He lost me, I couldn’t even answer the question. Because not everybody is the same. I think maybe he’s approaching . That question from an male INFJ perspective. With an underlining of unhappily pasts romantic relationships. Or maybe it’s the norm and routine that makes you feel boredom. If people don’t know how to handle boredom in a relationship ,it will destroy it. I think it’s possible to a least make better decisions in a future partner. In part is our fault , what happens in our relationships. We are the ones who except these people in our lives. Let’s just think about it, what is a great , a good or a healthy and decent romantic relationship is suppose to look and feel like?🤓 It’s not suppose to be over the moon and peaches and cream everyday. That’s for sure. We must achieve adult and emotional maturity. Many of us haven’t meet our true match because we are choosing the cr$&@?t people to be with. And when we’re with the right ones. We lose interest in them because their not exciting enough.,Don’t stand out enough, or not the best looking. We have to learn how to reprogram our brains , body’s and souls. And maybe we stand a chance. Keep hope alive. ✊🏻
Hi Vickey. You know it is interesting. i agree with everything you said. Spot on. I meant what I said within the video and it not out of the realm of possibility that you saw and heard me as you did. I cannot say that you are wrong. The video was spot on for some and I lost you. Does not make you wrong or ? Reason...
You said: "Because not everybody is the same."
Me: Once past your opinion about what I said and your comment is correct and accurate for my life to this day.
TYWC - Marty
Marty Glenn , Hi Marty , I just made an observation on what I saw . And I saw that literally pour out your pores. I heard you loud and clear. It took me some time to understand your point of view. But then I realized that you are a man. And I had to be in your head not mine. And Bingo! But I still don’t know what I am and I think that’s not important. Because I know for sure what I’m not. And I’m content 🙂
I expect (myself and) the partner, husband, to be 100% there with commitment, or it's doublemindedness and unfaithfulness.
Are you saying that though INFJ trusts his/her partner enough to marry him/her, this trust will fly out the window for the insecurity of being an INFJ? It seems to me the INFJ would have that distrust issue before even marrying, which means the first few months or weeks or days wouldn't even be the best. Pardon me, I'm a little confused here.
I am a very imaginative person in the creative arts : music, art, writing, expressing myself. I am also a justice person, a mercy-justice person. Though I didn't have a voice when young and most of my life for being shut up and shut down, I now have a voice, and, BOY is that voice misunderstood, and the shutting down crusade is tsunami magnitude. So now I have "severe mental issues."
Everyone is very intelligent in my family, but it baffles me that they can't see nor attempt to try to see family behavior I exposed. They can't see that I can understand so much. I was the truth-teller, then scapegoat, then black sheep and majorly invalidated and gaslighted growing up, and it happened recently after I was blessed with an estranged brother who entered my life and extended himself to me who wants to help me to permanently get away from my abusive narcissistic husband. I was full of hope. So after a while I felt free to expose questionable behavior in a couple siblings, esp after the year older brother sibling told me a counselor friend, who is good friend to these two brothers, whom the other brother talked me into talking to because he would be another advocate for me. This counselor my year older brother phished for information, the counselor was apparently unethical and shared, supposedly, that I have severe mental issues supposedly because I did "all the talking." The counselor did all the talking the first conversation, telling me his story. Counseling was never like this in all my experience. I talked at length because I thought a counselor would want your story and background information. And I had a big question mark in my mind, anyway, about the "necessity" for talking with him. I could see his glitches, weaknesses, including where he is "off" and where I thought he should know or understand something. But he seemed to be very sincere, and too tearfully (a spiritual man) emotionally so at times, I thought. Big question mark. Was looking for discernment. But I was forebearing and patient, we all have weaknesses.
So brother called me on day of very severe pain. Was healing from totalling my car. No matter I told him it was terrible physical pain, he played me as being an emotional wreck in crisis "wanting his comfort as usual." Not believing me that my husband is very abusive.
He phished with me where I felt he should mind his own business. (Boundary crossing). He told me counselor said I have severe mental issues, said whole family said that to, and "are concerned."
I exposed this major invalidating and gaslighting to brother who wants to help me get away from husband's abuse. His response: "You blasted MY brother and MY sister ." I, truth-teller, then scapegoat, then black sheep in my family who felt the ever-present grief throughout my life because I a lways felt like not part of the family. Terrible grief pain rose up. NOW I experienced severe mental health pain.
According to crusading brother it's okay for family members to talk about other family members. I made it clear that a rule was put on me to NOT do this.
Hmm. Yeah. He said he and family members know me. My objection to this was dismissed. Why? Because she has mental health issues, and because of that, she can't see it, doesn't know herself. WE do......... !!!
WOW !!! WOW!!! WOW !!! OWWWWWW !!!!
The next day after "You blasted MY.........." when I couldn't take the pain any longer, I called the oldest, brother. No, he wasn't part of family scheme. He is very kind sensitive, hopeful. He is perceptive about family just like I am.
I had been through some terrible rough waters for many years, but have had much help to have a voice and finally be set free. I finally last September had the strength to tell 1 up brother to not relate "that way" to me any more. He: "But YOU made me do it!" splutter.
A month after I was done talking to brothers' friend counselor, came huge misdiscernment, huge misinterpreting, huge misconstruing, he believed he had me, believed he found the hole, the weakness, the entitlement to cross boundaries.... to be VERY HIGH-PITCHED "concerned"........ I mean, right, he hasn't built any trust. And THAT is the level where one starts. (And ends).
I am THANKFUL for oldest no-meddler grounded brother. He's great. I can have family healing with him. I don't need those others. I'm not putting up with nonsense. They may NEVER see me accurately, justly, mercifully.
Can you see I may alternate between INFP and INFJ? ???
I am going to address this within a video okay TYWC - Marty
My answer to the question was immediately and emphatically "YES, absolutely!" I couldn't possibly have explained, at that moment, the intricacies of why that was wholeheartedly my answer; luckily you did that for me - so thanks for that! My answer was merely based on my own experience, and a burning sense of logic telling me, "It's ALWAYS that way - it always WILL be that way, and anyone who thinks otherwise is ignoring some crucial facts."
I mean absolutely no offense to anyone who answered yes, and of course when I speak of "crucial facts" I realize that said facts might seem crucial to me and not to someone else.
I have no idea if I'm an INFJ and I really have no stock in the matter anyway. I don't give much of a shit, I just find it fascinating. I definitely agree with you, and thanks for the video!
/end ramble
Hi Wirs... Which is why I ALWAYS question comments that say I am happy or it is a wonderful life. I always do. You cannot fake it on this one and that is a fact. You can lie to yourself and say '?' but the truth is always there in the smile inside you are searching for. TYWC - Marty
Mmmmm naw 20 years in. I’m fairly sure I’m INFJ. And I did give my partner 100% from day one. But he didn’t give me 100%. So of course things got better. I stuck with him. And it took a while. But then he went all in. And thing have been getting better and better ever since. I’d be interested in hearing from an INFJ who is still with their first ever partner. Especially if they are ISTJ. It really is a match made in heaven.
This match seems to be one of serious interest. I think I will look into this more. ;) TYWC - Marty
The problem might also be that we give everything without letting them know that we need some back to i agree that relationships end very soon when u k a party has very less to offer the other but i think if we just take a break n come back together it could go back to being normal again becz in that period we can redirect our focus on ourselves again since we tend to lose ourselves sometimes loving others
You mean I have to tell someone to give back to me? I cannot do it. Great advice but not for me. If it was only that easy and I could do it. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn lol relationships are soo complicated 🤣
Im an infp but answer yes and agree with the reasons. But im not in infjs functions generally. All thats infp craps love, com and stuff are also in me. If a relationship survives more than 6 months the qualities might reduce a little but i already have faith based on those short experience. Adding the dream i constantly have, these relationship prolongs and persists until i see the pattern of discommunication comes forward i would leave and dream for another. So far it works like that. 😁
Maybe you swing from branch to branch but what is important is this: " You are self reflecting and MBTI or not, that is a great thing not only for you but for all those you share your life with. I hope they do the same for you. TYWC - Marty
My thoughts on the question were, "Well, I don't know. Nothing really lasts more than 3-4 months in my experience. And then when you said INFJ's are counting down the time, I was like...oh..yep. That's me. I'm currently talking to someone and it's almost been 3 months. I have a 3 month test to see if it lasts, then 4, then 6. I have already prepared for this in my mind. If it gets past 3 months without any big bumps or it ending, then I'm like okay, we'll see if it gets to 4 months. If it gets to 4 months, my next test will be 6 months.
That is a good way of setting some boundaries. I think that would work out just fine but sometimes those little spats in the beginning are a great thing; only you can know for sure. TYWC - Marty
Omg i am truly an infp...😅 thinking about love and so many other things altogether 😅😂
I was so confused at first because, the time is not what makes us love another person less. But if I am gonna be in a relationship there is no thing like my love for you will be finished someday, if you love someone you just love.
HI apek... Yes that is right and will it fade? Will you allow to fade? Nope. You will not. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Yes, I will not let it fade.
1 min 40ish seconds in "Get a piece of paper and take notes". Every INFJ... " Yup, already have it in front of me." hahaha
You are funny. I think I was kidding. Nope, not kidding. No yes. Nope, go get it! lol TYWC - Marty
Guess I’m different, I’m don’t get the paper out. I can just remember my answer.
I don't consider myself INFJ or INFP, so this video isn't for me.
For me, a romantic relationship is the whole thing and its good or bad based on the whole thing, and there is no "best" time frame. I will know at zero months whether it's going to be work out long term or not because I will not even start a romantic relationship until after I've been firmly friends with someone for at least four or five months solid prior. But I'll be real honest? I've only been in three romantic relationships, period, each lasting 5 to 8 years. I go all in and I can't think of any period of time that was "best" with these people in a manner of months. It was all "the best part" for all of it, right up until the last year, or, right up until the last month, in one case.
But I tend to spend far longer than the average person vetting people I'm going to consider letting into my life. I tend to only associate with like-minded people. If you spend enough time knowing who a person is before starting getting serious with them, then you'll have established mutual respect, trust and understanding. They won't change, you won't change. People don't change (easily, quickly, usually at all), only your perception of them does.
I find it absurd that people regularly let strangers into their lives before getting to know them. I find it absurd that it is commonplace to want to build a romantic relationship on mysterious, vulnerable unknowns. That's not sexy imo, that's a recipe for anxiety and surefire disaster. Most relationships end in divorce because most people shouldn't have gotten together in the first place. It's bizarre to me that it doesn't occur to the vast majority of people that maybe, just maybe, a lot of pain can be avoided by getting to know someone before emotionally investing them. But then again, I figure they can't help themselves.
I find that I bounce between INTJ and INTP. There's overlap where I'm relating to your videos, but then some things are just ??? foreign concepts to me. Sometimes I consider that I might fall into INFJ or INFP, which is why I'm on this video, but I'm not really feeling it here.
You said: "But I tend to spend far longer than the average person vetting people I'm going to consider letting into my life." also said this: "They won't change, you won't change. People don't change (easily, quickly, usually at all), only your perception of them does."
But you said this within the first sentence: "and there is no "best" time frame. "
I think you get my point. ;) TYWC - Marty
P.S. You are the first comment I have ever read that gets it with regards to trying on for size. Well done and I think you are a healthy MBTI person. Keep trying on those types for size. ;))
By the fact in my own relationships, ive given ppl a timespan of how long they’ll give a fck with me 😂 only for them to downplay it say im chatting bs, only for them to gradually prove u right 🤦🏾♂️😂
Relationships are hard as they are; only to have other issues self created for more difficulty. It is not easy for sure. TYWC - Marty
* Sorry for late response
I'm still not sure I'm not an infj rn but I could never just love someone in a relationship because of how easily ppl lie n put on a false look for the person they're with, unless I knew her inside and out like the back of my hand I wouldn't date her nor trust her enough to give 100% of myself because there's the mistrust ppl always seem to have, not to mention with how often girls in 2022 cheat on apps it would be 100% impossible to love anyone 100% without reservations and if that makes me not an infj then I'm happy not to just fall into ppl n hope for the best
What if I've never been into a relationship all my life? I've really never tried being in a relationship because I don't feel like it at all and it is not necessary. Moreover, I find it quite scary because I've seen and heard of an interesting number of relationships getting quite messy even in the early stages. Some are even playing around all for the cheap thrills.
You are missing out. Please sift through your own mental messy and maybe the messy you see on the other side might clear up a bit or better yet...
Find the relationship that matches your messy and maybe, just maybe, two messy situations will turn into a perfectly clear vision of happiness.
I think that is what I am doing with my life. Nice comment you made and how great is it that I was able to make another comment from yours; could not have done it if your messy did not mesh with my messy. ;) TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn how am I missing out? What does TYWC mean? Thanks.
Having relationships is important even though they are hard and can be messy. They are in the end still with it.
Thank You for Watching and the Comment (TYWC) - Marty
@@marty_glenn okay, thanks. I'll just wait if it will come.
I answer no but I am always worrying that he will change and I am doing all the effort
As an INFJ I don't think this is a great measuring stick. There's a lot that goes into people perceptions of relationships. I agree that the first six or so months are often the best, there are still a slim, very small, no, smaller, SMALLER, (pass me the microscope jr), chance of developing a deeper long term connection. BUT (big butt) good f-ing luck finding that unicorn, lol!
Sounds like you get it. There is no way one video or its message could be the end all be all. Well said. TYWC - Marty
But what if I am 80 with my Partner and we know each other like our own pockets (like communicating with eyes/having funny moments through knowing where the limits are) I thought that this would maybe be better than the high feeling in the start ... (ofcourse I only would choose someone who I could be with like this, but with time you know each other better, like cheese.)
Then your 80 and happy. ;) TYWC - Marty
I am an INFJ and I said no Because of one fact Jesus Christ..you didn't think of that now did you..
Why in the fuck would I even consider to think about Jesus Christ? What in the fuck is wrong with you? TYWC - Marty
Well I respect your opinion. But you have to understand different people can have different opinions. And just because we have same personality that doesn't mean we will agree on same things (Adolf Hitler and Gandhi were not similar at all,although they have same personality type) . The question you have asked is totally depends on one's personal experience not on someone's personality type. Again no hate just expressed my opinion I am an INFj and I answered no that doesn't change my personality type. If I wanted to be any personality type than that would be INTP there is no way I am calling myself INFJ just because I think it's rare.
I agree with you and get your comment. The issue is this: Across RUclips many want to be INFJ because of the rare.
It is a thing; sad but true. TYWC - Marty
Mr Glenn your slightly wrong here's why You see my heart and soul said YES but ulltamatly I had to say No for a simple reason I have not experienced that kinda BLISS yet in my life
At the very least my birth sighn makes me a REFLECTION or a SHADOW
Of the INJF at the very least
And here's why listen or watch 12 AMAZING facts about Taurus PERSONALITY / Taurus zodiac sign let me know your thoughts
I like to call this type of comment: Checkmate
Basically what it means is that no matter what I say back I would only be arguing instead of telling you that I agree with your comment.
Not in that I ‘agree’ with you but there is nothing to disagree with. There is a massive difference, well said comment. TYWC - Marty
Hi Marty
Well first of all I could see what each type's respond would be to it and I was right but for me accepting that the first six month will be the best EVER .... Oooh man it really made me feel hopeless and sad cause a part of my brain say s yeeesss fuuuck that s reality people will get just used to each other or some get lazy and whatever .... But I also belleive it can stay as good as the first if both part just keep being perfectionist and put effort on that....I just know saying yes to the question was doing something really uncomfortable to me ....maybe because just a part of my brain believes it is right...so I answered no😂
Now what do you think?😀infp or infj?
Both and that is okay and how it should be. The important thing is that you are able to find a grounded place for a smile. TYWC - Marty
Just wondering...why would you want to enter a relationship if you know it ain't going to work. The only relationship i keep running back to is the one with my mother....fucking confusing!!!
Hope. Time does heal and does allow for growth. Hope Tanya. Pure and simple. - M
I used to give myself 3 months to figure things out in a relationship , never knew why but not saying im infj though .
O my gosh true i said yes