In Praise of Pettiness
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
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Sometime before we were married, say some 30 to 35 years ago, my wife stopped at a drive through for a famous fried chicken franchise and handed them a $20 for her order - they gave change for a $10. They wouldn't check the count or consider her plea that they had made a mistake. Since I married into this grudge, I haven't been able to buy from this franchise since, They are franchise non-grata. We still talk about it to this day, whenever we drive past.
Now, I just imagine you trying to reason with your wife, "but, honey, that 19 y/o behind the counter wasn't even born when you..." Spouse, "Shut it. The sins of the father shall be bestowed upon the son." 😂
@@Vulcanerd corporations don't really get sons or daughters. They carry their sins for as long as they exist. The sins are not bestowed onto the employer in question, they are of the corporation that enables these practises as policy.
In your honor I will have me some KFC this week
Seriously reduced my visits to the local Raisin' Cain's after I gave the cashier $20.something for the $10.something owed and he gave me change for the 20, not the $10 even he should have given me. Fought me on it. Went inside and told the manager that I can't come back if I can't trust that they'll give me accurate change.
@@TheRockinDonkeyClearly the wrong franchise, of you caught the clues...
I was part of a search and rescue team back in the mid 70's and the Red Cross mobile truck used to find us in the middle of the woods and feed us with a hot meal and beverage for free.
Oh how things can fluctuate.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉strength!
I have an intense dislike for Leonardo DiCaprio. This was long before I found out his dating habits. I had no valid reason for this. I will never watch his movies or anything he is in by my own choice. No one can change my mind.
People can have their petty grudges, but I'm really tired of having them myself. They do cost you something to keep them going. It feels like giving away my energy to small people.
Probably five million years ago on the savanna, a proto-human was born with an intriguing mutation: he took joy in hatred. It made him an unstoppable force against other tribes of apes, and his genes spread far and wide.
And we still have those genes in us today, looking to find expression in a daily life that is generally not defined by tribes competing for scarce supplies. So, we find enemies, and we take joy in hating them.
Grudging is a lot like holding on to something for a long time: your hand seizes up and it's more painful to try to release your grip than to continue it. Even so, make a deliberate effort to gradually unclench your grip. Let go of it, and let your hand rest.
@@kingbeauregard That's incredibly misanthropic. It'd be just as likely that the proto-human's ape tribe throw him out for being a danger. Hating a perceived enemy is no more core to the human experience than unabashed love. They are behaviors brought out by how we organize ourselves, by what values our communities decide to follow. Studying anthropology really broadened my view of what is actually possible, what is actually "human nature", and what we like to believe is. Truthfully? Believing hatred to be a defining societal motivator, is no less than a coping mechanism to deal with a world that has been conquered by hate.
I don't talk to my grandmother anymore - because she has had a lifelong streak of meanness and called my wife stupid whilst undermining our decision to support our kid in being non-binary. So after the first visit after our kid came out, I decided I wasn't going to expose my kids to her anymore. I mildly regret than it came to this, but its not a great loss, and she'd be able to restore relations if she'd ever made an effort to try and rebuild things with us, but as is, I'm glad I protected my kids from her spiteful, mean presence.
I stopped my friendship with a person in one of my social groups for the same reason. I will speak, but the friendship went with my trust.
@CSGraves It seems like a valid reason because it is a valid reason.
My grudge against the Red Cross was for their abominable behavior during the 80s around the AIDS crisis. How they refused to test the blood once a test was finally available because they didn't want to pay for the tests. (They turn around and sell that blood for a lot of money, it was around $200 a bag back in the 80s, but they didn't want to cut into their profits by testing it.) This went on for around two years. Unfortunately, a lot of people who thought they might have been exposed to HIV donated blood thinking, "If anything's wrong with my blood, they'll tell me, right?" Wrong. They won't. Instead the Red Cross was giving that untested blood to people. They were also instrumental in helping craft a law prohibiting gay men from donating blood, a policy that only changed in, checks notes, 2023. Not to mention all the money they've taken in for things like Katrina relief or Haiti relief and then didn't use for those efforts. They just sock it away and say it's for "the next catastrophe". Doctors Without Borders is wonderful. Planned Parenthood is wonderful. UNICEF is wonderful. Red Cross has lost my trust.
As a vet, there are few things in the field that are more satisfying than fresh coffee and pastries.
I give monthly to the USO, just because they gave me such comfort once.
The Red Cross Grudge is a very real thing! During the Vietnam War, my kindergarten was raising funds for the Red Cross and my father flat out told me that we were not to take part. And yes, he told me why.
But every day, my teacher hounded me for a donation. I was the only child in the class who had not donated at the end of the week. I luckily found a nickel on the playground and donated that. Didn’t tell my dad, of course.
So a somewhat petty grudge ended up messing me up about charitable causes. On a related note, I will never take part in any United Way drives. And don’t mention the Salvation Army in my presence. 😡
Dig deeper into charitable causes, is all I’m saying. Most of them will disappoint you.
I'm a veteran, and the Red Cross is one of the few charities / service organizations I actually trust. There was a Red Cross station on base overseas, and saw the good they do. I'll back them until my last.
I used to work for them. They're crooked as hell.
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I have volunteered with them & agree.
@kariannecrysler640 - Whom are you agreeing with? The commenter who mentioned they trusted the Red Cross & saw the good they did, OR, the commenter who mentioned that the Red Cross was crooked?
EDIT: Whoops! I just noticed the heart emoji in your comment, so I imagine you like the Red Cross.
"How majestic a petty grudge can be" sounds like something Garak would say.
Yes, or maybe Quark.
I shall continue to ignore those bell ringers with red pots that are ubiquitous this time of year.
Granted, I don't think that's petty; I think I can justifiably call the SA an awful organization.
i hate how evil SA makes ME feel walking past adorable old people but I remember what the org itself stands for and I keep walking
@@pixieonthemoon8633same.
Saaaammeee.
Even if I wasn't against everything they stand for, I wouldn't give them money just because of the public nuisance they make of themselves. I can't go to the mall or the grocery store between Thanksgiving and Christmas unless it's an emergency, or I'll lose a day or two to the splitting headache I'll get from them whaling on that bell like the building's on fire.
I knew someone who was homeless at 15 and had to make use of their "services"...they attach strings to everything they do. It's not a "charity" at all. They're downright evil. It's in their freaking name.
My 50-year-old grudge isn't petty at all.
NIXON & AGNEW, damn their crooked souls!
My aunt always had a jealous, petty grudge on my mother. When my mother was having heart surgery, that's when my aunt decided to strike. She claimed our mother on medicare needed to sell off our grandmother's estate furniture to pay for the heart surgery. My aunt picked the house clean and ripped all the carpets out for health reasons claiming that she was going to paint the floors which never happened. After my mother started seeing things more clearly after the affects of the medications wore off, my aunt gave my mother an invoice claiming that any help she did balanced exactly with the value of the antique furniture acquired leaving a $0 balance. Medicare paid for the surgery, of course. After selling the furniture, she went on a vacation to San Francisco where she had all that money in a purse and it was snatched. Hopefully, that money helped a family get through a tough time. As long as my aunt didn't get to enjoy it. Karma is a force to be reckoned with. I still do hold a grudge against my aunt, but I don't let it get to me. My aunt is a loathsome Scrooge who will never have the kind of life that she thinks she deserves. Let that be her punishment.
My university department was forced to stop serving free coffee to workers because other departments couldn't afford it.
And it came after the university asked about wellbeing in the workplace, and someone said, "Well, the free coffee is nice."
Honestly I think if you've had a grudge that long for that kind of reason, it's less a serious grievance and more a personal joke you're playing on the world: The way you described your granny's response and her explanation for her grudge, she sounds like she was *gleeful* for an opportunity to tell you about her personal, very small beef, just to see how you'd react to it. Self-aware performative outrage meant to entertain rather than bully.
I can never hold a grudge, petty or otherwise, for very long. A failing of my character, perhaps.
In my case it's just those people are not important enough for me to waste my energy on
I don't know if I fully appreciate the point. Irrational pettiness seems to come from misunderstandings, which can be where prejudice and bigotry come from. Not always, but it can. I don't think I can put my preferences above other people's preferences enough to want to be upset about it. But I also have been the recipient of some unreasonable grudges, and I usually just accept that I don't and likely won't understand their beef with me. I got laundry to do.
I can never hold a grudge because my memory sucks arse and I forget who I'm supposed to hate and why.
Maybe a strength of character depending how you look at it. Personally I've held decades long grudges at this point and will outright refuse something connected to those organizations and people even if it would be useful
The other big scandal was the Jim Crow separation of blood so people can get their blood of their own race. This was the compromise because they wouldn’t take Negro blood at all.
My grandmother purposely outlived her twin sister because she’s petty. I’m that kind of petty. I haven’t eaten at Papa John’s since he said he was against universal healthcare because it would ad 14¢ to each pizza. I only shop at Walmart once a year, since I found out they have an employee whose job is to help their employees sign up for government assistance since they make so little.
Staying petty until you die is an achievement in my book. On to be proud of.
Oh yeah, Walmart isn't a petty grudge at all! Even though I'm on disability and I really can't afford to, I refuse to shop from them unless it's absolutely necessary - maybe once a year, like you. I'm giving my money to local businesses whenever I can.
I never knew about how the American Red Cross used to separate blood by race! That just blows my Canadian mind. But in more recent history, I'm very aware of the tainted blood debacle in multiple countries during the AIDS crisis, and how many people got HIV or hepatitis from blood products collected by the Red Cross, and I DO still hold that against them. My mother lost a friend who was haemophilliac to infected blood products, and had a bad scare herself after life-saving neurosurgery. She wasn't infected, but far too many people were.
I had a health claim dispute with Blue Cross/Blue Shield back in my graduate school days. The University of Colorado dropped them as a provider the next year (probably for reasons like mine), but I swore that I would not buy health insurance from them again if they were the last insurer on the planet. I have kept my promise.
I don't eat at Chick-fil-A or shop at Walmart or Hobby Lobby for their respective corporate policies or their owners' political stances. Is that petty?
You’re not being petty, you have principles. 👍🏽
That's not really petty; that's just holding corporations responsible for their actions. Although I have heard of people going through a Chick-fil-A drive-thru and asking for an order of "gay French fries" . . .
Granny did not need much... And yes top of my head I can name a couple of way better more recent reasons to not give to the red cross. Starting with the tainted blood scandal.
The tainted blood scandal jumped right into my mind when thinking of reasons to have a grudge against the Red Cross!
Sometimes when I go grocery shopping I get a healthy easy to eat item to give away to one of the panhandlers that are at virtually every major intersection. The personal connection in these direct donations seems to me like an affirmation of their value and humanity.
My brother and sister-in-law became very extra weird in 2020 due to the pandemic, and they believed all the worst of the conspiracy theories. They disowned my parents, and then later they disowned me when they could not convince us to vote for trump. They’ve come around to make peace by acting like nothing weird with them ever happened., but I find it hard to trust them and I do not really like them anymore.
If it were me, I don’t think I could accept them back without some kind of discussion. An explanation, an apology etc.
I know that this video (which is truly and brilliantly funny) is sort of tongue and cheek, but on the serious side, MAGA would not exist without it being stitched together like Frankenstein's monster with a trillion trifling little grudges..and now that monster is on the loose.
Now that you mention it - I have noticed this angle too. Such petty grievances being fuel for loud bombastic hatred makes my brain feel like it's leaking out of my ear at times. It makes me wonder do these people lack any sort of real perspective or are just very entitled?
@@videocrowsnest5251 Both, but heavy on the latter.
To this day my fiancee's grandfather still carries grudges against entities and corporations that no longer exist 😂
Worst of kind, no where to direct that anger to ;)
My mother-in-law is in her 90s and still gripes about that one VW dealership in her neighborhood that gave her poor service in the 1970s.
I have two siblings I have not spoken to in almost 20 years, since the time my parents died. The reasons are complicated, but basically it's because I was a screw up in my youth, and they got tired of dealing with me.
The grudge that they hold is my fault. I was an alcoholic, and though I quit drinking and using drugs over 30 years ago, they still haven't seen the change I made in my life, and that's fair. I hurt them, badly, with my behavior and actions, words, and now I am paying the price. It's the consequences of my actions.
No one has to accept your apology. Your words mean nothing without action to change the behavior. I miss them, and I still love them, but I am paying too high a price for living with a single dream (to quote The Great Gatsby.) It's the cost of my selfish and destructive behavior, and I have to live with that. It's not their fault, but it's also not easy.
It's just the life we all lead.
No one has to accept your apology, sure - but that doesn't mean there's no value in reaching out, making the apology, providing yourself AND them with some sort of closure. To be honest dude - I think the best thing to do here show them the change you've made. It seems like you're already at peace with the idea that nothing may come of it, and it's pretty clear the reason you've NOT reached out so far is genuine guilt over your previous actions. Reach out, make the apology. The worst thing that could happen is nothing changes between you all - but you could rebuild your relationship. You could make things different. I think it's worth the risk.
This is sobering...
@@kamalalsb7292 I have, over the last 20 years or so, written letters and emails to my brother and sister. I was asked by them, through a relative, not to attend the funerals of my parents, and I was told that they wanted nothing to do with me.
I have tried, and been found wanting. I understand. If you hurt someone often enough, the new behavior is looked at as a new approach for a new opportunity to cause harm.
I made it clear that I was the cause of harm to them, and I understand their reticence.
@@kamalalsb7292 Nothing changing isn't the worst that could happen- if they haven't spoken with Brian for 20 years, they've likely made peace with their decision to cut him out of their lives. Reaching out now can be re-open old wounds, causing a lot of pain and anxiety. I have a family member with a mental illness they refuse to get any sort of treatment for or to manage. She harasses the family in cycles- causing chaos & stress, then going radio silent for years, then eventually re-appearing to cause more pain and destruction once again. It's a terrible experience to get that first phone call I know will be the start of another manic period of terrorizing everyone for weeks, if not months, and it makes me literally sick to my stomach to hear her voice now. Maybe some day in the future she'll get help for her mental illness and I wish her well if that day comes but I hope she never reaches out to me even if that does happen. I've made peace with (hopefully) never hearing from her again & it would cause real harm if she were in Brian's place and reached out after a 20 year silence.
You take the blame for the conflict, you site your own decisions and actions as the cause of the the conflict, you express your regret at causing the conflict, and admit that acceptance of your apology isn't mandatory ... Do you realize how rare that kind of maturity is? Do you know how refreshing it is to hear all that? Please, please, let's you and me have a severe falling out over something, just so I can experience that response from you, or better yet, so you can experience it from me as I emulate your good example. Thank you.
I once visited Zaxbys for a chicken basket. I think I paid $10 for it years ago. When they gave me my order, they didn’t include any sauces. I asked for some honey mustard and the lady at the window said “that’ll be 50 cents.” I assumed she thought I wanted extra, so I replied “oh, you didn’t give me any dipping sauces. I just want 1 honey mustard.” She stared at me blankly and said “yeah, 50 cents.” So I proceeded to hand her back the chicken and drink, refund my $10 and haven’t been back. It’s probably been 15 years. Fuck Zaxbys.
You, sir, are an A+ storyteller. I just love your random short essays ever so much.
I remember one time when a cooworker reported me to my supervisor for something completely unwarranted. Not only was the thing she reported me for decidedly NOT a problem (my supervisor agreed) the complaint was totally unexpected because I'd had no issues with her before of any sort and we'd always got along. That was the first time I ever tried to hold a grudge against someone; I would say no more than "hello" if it wasn't work related and gave as cold a shoulder as I could. I lasted 2 weeks before I gave up and decided to just treat her like anyother co-worker.
Conversely, at my wedding we had to seat my wife's grandmother on the other side of the room from her sister because of a minor fight the two had 60 years earlier. My only conclusion was that some people are just built different in ways others will never be able to grok. To me, holding a grudge was exhausting and made me feel bad about myself, to her it was a Tuesday.
lol I'm definitely in that sibling estrangement camp. I've tried so many times to build bridges with them and now my attitude is that I'm done being the one to call. Phone works both ways. There was never any major event or falling out - we're estranged because we're estranged.
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I've given 8 gallons, give or take a unit, of blood through the American red cross. They've never had donuts available as a snack following my donations. They have only offered grape juice apple juice orange juice vegetable juice Pop-Tarts peanut butter crackers cheese crackers chocolate chip cookies oatmeal cookies sugar cookies fruit gummies and, oh yeah, coffee. I guess it would be Petty for me to ask them for donuts.
I will never forgive "Spock's Brain" ;)
To be honest, Steve, I thought this video was going to be about CM Punk reappearing in the WWE again lol. That being said, I appreciate the anecdotes. I wasn’t aware of the contention the Greatest Generation had with the Red Cross. Interesting all around!
If you live with/marry someone for 35 plus years, you learn the meaning of letting go of petty grievances and moving on from an issue.
Love your work, Steve!
Did you happen to know my grandmother? Because that old lady who hadn't spoken to her sister for decades sounds a lot like her! She was the queen mother of petty grudges, and managed to keep some alive in the family from beyond the grave. Just a tiny ball of gleeful malice, fueled by gossip and cigarettes.
My late father held a grudge to his grave. In his will he said that my brother and I would get nothing of his and we knew why. As far as I know it was over something petty that was more than 10 years old. Which was probably the last time I spoke to him.
I will never buy a Chevrolet purely because they fucked over my grandpa 50 something years ago over a parts order when another company outbid him by one cent by using an inferior steel after he made the order, asked him some weeks later if he still had those parts he made lying around because of the inevitable failures, and then promised him that they’ll only order from him for that part before redesigning the steering column to eliminate that part. Bunch of bastards.
Honestly, after having worked summers for Ford when I was in school, I'd say never buy a car made in North America. They had kids with minimal training doing important jobs like quality control, and we were terrible at it. Granted, this was back in the 90's, but I doubt much has changed.
As a victim of Super Storm Sandy, I can say thank goodness for the Red Cross, they drove through the devastation for weeks providing hot food, drinks and other staples not available anywhere in our area. We had no electric or gas to provide for ourselves.
i agree with you Steve it is impressive. That generation had a long memory. Btw i have a similar petty grudge against the Yankees but i hate the Cubs more im a lowly White Sox fan and in Chicago they get all the attention. We are second fiddle in Chicago even though we usually are a better team. I HATE THE RICH YUPPIE NORTH SIDERS. AHHHHHHHHH!!! Thanks for the video dude.
This sounds like it was a knee jerk reaction to one thing that was done, without looking at the entire story. Now if a grudge is warranted, if someone actually does something bad enough, and does not ever acknowledge or make right on what they did, I DO believe in holding grudges indefinitely. One example: I will NEVER forgive anyone who still supported Trump in 2020. It would take them basically dedicating the rest of their lives to helping minorities that he persecuted, then at the end of their lives I MIGHT consider it.
The closest thing I have to a petty boycott all comes from one man: John Riccitiello. In 2013, Electronic Arts was being led by John, and in that time the company was pushing for every game to be a live service, or at the time require an internet connection. This included SimCity's reboot that released March of 2013. It was an abysmal launch, with the servers failing, and the game not even being fleshed out enough to be worthwhile for all the trouble. I was already growing tired of EA's behavior, so to train wreck one of my favorite long standing IP at the time had me swearing off buying another EA game ever again. The only exception I made was the Pop Cap Humble Bundle shortly after this fiasco, as EA had just purchased Pop Cap, and the games they created had yet to be tarnished by EA's actions, and I could adjust things so that EA didn't receive a single penny for the bundle, which I made sure I did.
I had put all of my blame on EA, until this year when the video game engine Unity started getting predatory with their licensing for their software. They changed their terms of use so that every game ever created on Unity would be retroactively charged for using the engine in their game for every installation. Not purchase of game, but install of game. The developers rioted, and things were rolled back, but do you know who Unity hired to be their CEO after he quite his job after the SimCity debacle in 2013? If you guessed Unity, you understand how narratives are created, congratulations. He was hired, he built up the company, then changed the policy so it was aggressively predatory, rolled it back so that it's only predatory moving forward thus making more money for the company looking ahead (assuming they don't don't still fail after the whole shitshow) before being fired, and getting a golden parachute. His job was done: Unity would be getting more money from developers, and they "survived" a major PR disaster.
But this has painted John Riccitiello as a willing scapegoat for any corporate entity in my mind. He's willing to help the company grow, then put his name on aggressive anti-consumer, anti-competitive behavior, and get the sack so that the company can "roll back" their policy changes so that they're still making more money, but everyone forgets that they're still screwing them. Think of that pharma bro who raised insulin prices 1000x, just so they could be lowered to 10x the original price, that still looks reasonable compared to that badly priced plan, without improving the medicine in any way. John Riccitiello is that for the video game industry, and I would be very concerned for whatever company he is hired into in the future until the day he dies.
I was disowned by my parents, and when my dad got cancer I quit my promising career to go back and take care of the family, just a few months before the pandemic started.
Through it all, my brother never said one word about my disownment, never offered to help with the cancer, and during the pandemic, ghosted the family because of his own personal issues.
I tried reaching out after the pandemic, but when he ghosted me again, I decided that was it. Call it petty, but fuck that guy. He doesn’t want to be in my life, then I don’t want him in my life.
Guy has a phd, by the way. Goes to show intelligence doesn’t make you a good person or family member.
You’re not being petty, you tried. How many times can you try until you know enough’s enough? Sorry it turned out like that. 😔
Maybe they're "grudges", but I think of them as "voting with my money". Mine are with companies based on predatory practices or bigotry, such as Walmart, Chick-fil-A, Hobby Lobby, Papa John's (this one, they fixed the bigotry but their sauce is still too sweet, so still no). Recently added Starbucks for anti-union crap.
I loved my great grandmother, but she was one of the pettiest people I had ever known, and unfortunately, her pettiness was usually based in bigotry. Her sister, my great aunt, had been in a committed relationship with another woman for years. They still talked and my great aunt and her partner were always at the big Easter dinner at Ma's house, but she never truly accepted her partner and went out of her way to say so when they weren't around. I applaud pettiness, but like you, only when it's not based in bigotry.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to see if Amazon has any good deals on a Derek Jeter jersey. Go Yanks!
Those 2 women weren't of German ancestry, were they? They remind me of my relatives (and me, actually).....ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 👍 😂 😄 😆 🤣 😀 👍 😂 😄
I totally relate to your petty grudge with Jeter. It's kinda like how, as a Jets fan, I had a petty grudge against Tom Brady.
I came along to say how much that comment reminded me that I never liked Cal Ripken Jr, and Billy Ripken.
A British meme about Yanks circa WWII: Overpaid, oversexed, over here.
In case anyone wants to say "it's not adjusted for inflation", I looked it up, it's $0.38 in today's money so like 1/10 what starbucks charges.
Hobby Lobby steals ancient relics to try and convince the world that Jesus is a god. They do other crazy stuff too, but that’s the one that will keep my ire for eternity.
After the Loma Prierta earthquake in October 1989, the Red Cross appeared in my neighborhood which incurred significant damage, including a collapse of an unreinforced building which killed my neighbor as well as several other coworkers. They were selling the coffee & donuts at a very high price for that time. $2 for a cup, and $1 for a donut. So I'd argue the Red Cross learned nothing from their experience in WWII, and I don't donate to them. Instead I give to Doctors Without Borders. It's not that I'm petty but I believe in justice and equality, not Capitalism & greed.
The Baltimore Colts… I was a small child when they snuck out of town in the middle of the night, and I will never forgive them for that. That organization stole my fandom and part of my childhood. I hate the Colts. I’ll let you decide whether that’s petty or not.
Lol, as I was watching this I was thinking about some of my dad's grudges he would sometimes share over dinner. Hated the Colts for the exact same reason, though he warmed up to the Ravens after Steve Smith moved up there.
You have no idea how much I'd love to go 30 years without speaking to my sister.
Lol. Well, fwiw, I broke up with one of mine about 8 or 9 years ago, and that was at least 20 years too late. Not the easiest thing I ever did, but definitely one of the best… and a major stress reduction to my life.
I’m approaching 20 years not speaking with my sister…. I wish I could. She won’t have it. I should’ve guessed when she tried to smother me in her toy box as a tot that she didn’t want me in her life.
Sometimes it’s best to be safe from those we love.
Brits didn't do coffee and doughnuts.
'Tea and a wad' was the thing !
I had no idea about that thing with the Red Cross during WWII. I've donated to them on a regular basis, even participating and donating in blood drives many times, and I'm pretty sure I got some free coffee from them when I was serving in Afghanistan back in 2016. This is wild. I'll still donate to them.
I do know a lot of people who can hold onto lifelong grudges, though. My grandma had grudges against a lot of other ladies of her generation. I once asked her why she didn't speak to her sister, and she frankly didn't remember. Whatever slight Great Aunt Annie had done to her back in the 50s wasn't worth remembering, but it was apparently still worth being sore about in the 90s.
I've held a grudge against a particular sandwich delivery shop going on almost 15 years now. My work was 'outside' their delivery area. The offices across the street apparently weren't. That the time my "F*ck " just a joke. Then I moved back home and they had a franchise I could see from my apartment. I decided to give them another try. Was outside their delivery area. Turns out they did actually deliver to my complex, just not my building. I would pretty routinely see their delivery cars in the parking lot. The icing on the petty cake? The streets in the apartment complex were one-way. The drivers in the parking lot literally had to drive past my door to leave the complex.
Never had one of their sandwiches. Never will.
I believe that petty grudges come from that part of our ape-brains that got really good at hating the other tribe, and was always primed to pick up a femur and start swinging. Oh how that ape part of the brain LOVES its hatred!
It's a good way to mess up one's life though. A lot of that stuff - grudginess, schadenfreude, etc - I find it helps to remember that it's a software bug, like an optical illusion but one that operates on the emotions. Then I can move it to the side and decide whether circumstances still warrant my boundless fury over that thing that happened when that other person and I were 13 years old.
Me and my family are estranged over pettiness, and i could forgive then, but i won't; at this point it's a matter of pride. I wouldn't begrudge them if they reached out, but I ain't doing it first
You just described my petty family and my feelings about them to a TEE!
I'm not a grudge holder. It hurts me, and in my opinion, it's not good for one's mental health. That being said, I can be very petty. A housemate yelled at me in the driveway of my home for touching their stuff, so the next time I got sick, I was sure to touch ALL their stuff. Drivers who tailgate are treated to the speed limit and very slow stops and starts. Small pettiness relieves my anger and makes dealing with hurtful behavior from others easier, but lifelong grudges, no thank you, I have more important shit to do.
Steve - I don't have any petty grudges. I have grudges, but they're all for valid reasons!
Me - Yeah, I'm going to need independent verification on that...
Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. I will always kind of hate them. I don't really care about professional sports, especially the NFL, but I kinda hate them, especially Brady. It's petty, it's unnecessary, it's not something I think about much at all. When people bring up Brady, or even just the Patriots, I think about Tom and Bill, and I judge them, with prejudice, and it's kind of comforting that I probably always will...
"Overpaid, oversexed, and over here" was a common slogan of resentment by British troops towards American GI's at the time. In response, Americans called the British "underpaid, undersexed, and under Eisenhower."
On one hand I can agree with this... Petty Grudges are a first hand look at how strong & persistent the Human Spirit really is... So on that level I can completely understand it... But after knowing someone who makes not only my life but also their life the absolute WORST it can possibly be over the most PETTY shit imagine able... Then I can never Praise Pettyness... & No it doesn't eat them up inside AT ALL... The only reason they ever regret the way that they act is when I call them out for it... & The entire time are they just trying to push the blame off of themselves, change the subject, move the goal post... The whole SHABANG... There are so many other absolutely beautiful things that demonstrate the Human Spirit SOOO much better... Like Athletes & Artist... Philosopher & Historians... People who have dedicated their LIVES to the mastery of their crafts... That to me will always be so much more praisable then Petty People creating their own Problems & making up their own solutions... There is nothing truly praisable about giving up on someone over a Parking Spot or something that they said so long ago that they themselves don't even remember... Pettyness is part of what makes Ignorance such a tasty poison... The feeling of Sticking to your Guns even though everyone else tells you that your wrong... It's part of the Fun when it comes to Believing in conspiracy theories... Having people tell you that you're wrong to only point out evidence that you have already seen & have already considered to be false because "They are just being fed lies by Big Media & The System"... It's what makes being Sexist & Racist so easy to do... Cause that feeling of believing that you are better... Just because of what's in your pants & what your skin color is... It's a very Petter & Self centered view... & With out that sweet feeling of Pettyness none of those fucks would beable to swallow that shit down... I know all of this because said Petty Person before was all of the things above... I will never Praise Pettyness... Nor do i believe that it is an accurate or acceptable depiction of the human soul... Because that's FUCKING bullshit... If the Pettyness dose not harm them or others... Then yeah absolutely nothing wrong with that... What's the harm in Loving your Home Town Sports Team & Hating the rival team? (Ignoring the Violence & Muders because while that is a genuine factor you can make that argument about anything that involves such strong passion & that's just the fault of bad people being bad... & Petty)... if your grandma wants to hold a grude against someone for petty reasons that doesn't hurt herself or others others then yeah sure dont try to force her to change... But don't pretend that Pettyness is something to strive for... Cause that's not Pettyness that's Determination... Because it's that same Pettyness... That same self centered ignorance... That fuels Antisemitism & Transphobia... Again I know this cause said person is also such... Anyways I understand what he meant but the way he worded it was stupid & irresponsible... Aight peace...
My mother was about your grandmother's aga and you just spent 11 minutes and 19 seconds describing her. I will say some of the grudges Mom had were not for petty reasons, but some, from my perspective, were.
I hated Wendy's for a very long time because they tore down the Drive-In Theater my parents used to take me, to build their corporate headquarters in Dublin, a suburb of Columbus, Ohio. Though I don't think that is petty.
The Canadian Red Cross messed up pretty badly. For more than a decade in the 70s and 80s they failed to properly test blood, leading to 30 thousand Hepatitis C infections and 2 thousand HIV. They haven't been involved in Canada's blood system for thirty years as a consequence. Grudge very much held over that.
I have volunteered for disaster relief work in the Red Cross. They do not browbeat religion for assistance, they provide supplies & money for emergency situations & they cover all the costs for the volunteers who are at ground zero to be there and freely offer assistance.
Yes it’s a huge organization and requires costs to maintain, but from a local elderly person in need of help to heat their home to natural disasters, the Red Cross is providing assistance. If you’re uncomfortable financially supporting them PLEASE consider blood/plasma donations (which cost you nothing but time & you get juice & cookies for it 🤭)
I refuse to touch any Sony product, because they bricked my PC with a stupid rootkit. I won't buy a Sony product, not from their music catalog, not from their movie studios, not their games nor any Sony badged products.
If a product has a Sony thing in it, I stay far away from it. Never again a Sony!
It's petty, but it's one of my principles.
Okay. I was not relating to this at all until I thought of a conversation that i had with my family earlier today. We were talking about what we would do if we won the lottery. My husband said that he would give his siblings one million dollars each. I asked even "Bob" who called me a MF for my liberal beliefs (in front of my children and others)? My husband said "I have to, he is my brother." I said no you don't. Actions have consequences.
The only grudges I have are for big, tangible stuff, with one exception:
My (theatrically overstated) hatred of bananas.
When I was really young, I got sick a lot, and the go-to for antibiotics was amoxicillin. I don't know if you've seen an amoxicillin tablet, but those things are huge, especially for a young child, so for kids, it was usually administered as a liquid, and liquid amoxicillin was banana flavored. I can't remember how close the taste was, but the smell was an exact match, and to this day I get a little nauseous whenever I smell bananas. I'm not sure if it's because I associate the smell with being ill, or if the medicine tasted awful, or any other number of possible issues, but I've got a lifelong grudge against bananas because of banana flavored antibiotics.
The Red Cross here in Australia got a real bollocking when the Bushfires a few years ago had MILLIONS donated from overseas and internally, we found out later that very little had been given to the victims.. wont donate.. or the Salvo's.. would rather donate on a local level.
The title didn’t telegraph to me this was about grudges, which is disappointing... grudges can be great, but I came in here expecting some hot take about iOS Blue message snobs.
Glad to be mistaken.
I had one against Starbucks for years. I still prefer other shops.
My and my American sil briefly had one that we gave up because we couldn't remember what it was about!
Sometimes grudges which look absurd to others are valid enough to those who hold them - of course, sometimes those grudges hurt only the holders. It can be impossible to realize or judge the history of pain which may underlie the problem. My loving, intelligent, compassionate and funny father refused, for the last decades of his life, to interact with his next younger brother because said brother had a horrible habit of denigrating everything my father said, did, and was.
There was a phrase that the Brits used at the time, listing all the things they didn't appreciate about the Yanks: namely that they were "Overpaid, oversexed, and over here"
I was born in the 90s and that phrase seems to have hung around in British culture long enough that I've heard it referenced a few times. So i guess Americans aren't the only ones with long, petty memories
Granny's grudge seemed fine but I dunno, that other lady seemed pretty unhealthy. I'm not gonna step in and try to fix it because that's some deep-seated emotional issues from a person whose most likely response would be to cut me out of their life, but I dunno...I don't think that person was actually a very happy and content person on the inside. But eh, some people will fill their lives with petty grudges rather than go to therapy.
It makes for a fun story though, no doubt.
Pettiness is the willful lack of understanding. It's the opposite of everything anyone who whishes to grow must strive for. admiring it is the same as aplauding someone resenting bees because they got stung once. it's utimately what led to the vote for hitler. Not hate or rage. Pettyness is where it starts. When we stop questioning our own biases, and start rejoicing at the misfortunes happening to their targets.
If tomorrow, support to the red cross was nessesary to prevent a great harm, done on a greater scale, would your nana be part of the those who helped? Or conversely, if she happened to be a great fan of the red cross, and they became the next running neonazi party, would she withodraw that help?
Yeah, I can see why free coffee/not free coffee can raise peoples' ire. But coffee and donuts seem really cheap compared to what the solders sacrificed. Why couldn't the allies figure out a way to pay for all coffee for all the allies solders? Weren't we all on the same side?
Not to mention that Britain took a pounding during the war. Compared to most allied countries' travails and efforts, the US involvement in WWII may as well be a photo op 😅
I have long-time grudges against Geico and FedEx from the past for bad experiences I had with them.
There is definitely a lot of issues with the Red Cross. A lot of their relief efforts have been horribly inefficient to the point of there necessarily being corruption or incompetence of insane levels. Haiti being a big one.
They get a lot of flak over their restriction on gays donating blood as well. Although I don’t feel that bad about that. Medicine is often slow to change and errs on the side of caution.
I’m not sure what you admire about a petty grudge that much. I find it pretty easy to hate a person or thing for no real reason. I feel it takes more effort to not do that. Ad I don’t think anyone is actually better off for their grudge. They may be good on the outside but hate is never great for the soul imo. I definitely have a lot of justified hatred as well but I don’t think that’s necessarily healthy either… would be better to just focus on the people who need help from those people I’m angry with but I’m not that far along
red cross does have some blemishes to their reputation over the years, but i remind people when someones house burns down, red cross is there to help right away, sometimes in minutes, bet their home insurance company cant say the same thing
also on the point of grudges, i have severe ADHD, we hyper focus on whatever has our attention the most and usualy negatives are stuck in our mind more than anything else lol
I've got the same thing with WalMart and their preditory tactics. I will and have paid more or travelled farther to avoid shopping at a WalyMart.
Lol but the British got universal healthcare afterwards sooooo…. Lisa needs braces 🙃
I am for sure a grudge holder and I don't know if this counts as a petty grudge or even one at all but I think it fits regardless. At the very least I think it counts as being stubborn for sure.
To preface, I'm 99.9% sure I'm Autistic. Just waiting on a formal diagnosis. But I'm for sure neurodivergent. So naturally as a child I could be reluctant to try new things and I was very literal.
In pre-school one day my teacher wanted me to try some milk. I vehemently did not want to do this. I don't know if it was her desire or if my parents put her up to it after me fighting with them over it. It's not important. (Although I would drink chocolate milk oddly enough.) So after arguing and her getting rightfully sick of my shit she said; "Just take a sip, and if you don't like it, you never have to have any again."
I believed her. I think my sip could have barely been considered a drop, but I still remember hating it and the smell of the plastic cup lingers in my brain even now. I can recall what it felt like to wrinkle my nose and shake my head. I was disgusted. My teacher sounded so defeated when she took the cup back but she didn't make me drink any more. That was all that mattered.
I am 34 years old. I must have been around 4 at the time. It was literally earlier this year that I decided to try a sip of plain milk on my own for the first time because I decided after 30 years enough was enough and I was curious. It still took me considerable effort to do that much.
It's not the evil taste I thought it was. And in fact I've long known from using cream and milk to cook with that the taste was never what I had a problem with.
That said; I'll still be completely fine if those two sips, never even a mouthful combined, are the only times I ever drink straight milk ever again. I just don't like it because I don't like it.
Never is fine by me.
Just my $0.02 from a mental health worker on the autistic spectrum. That whole story sounds pretty neurodivergent imho. It also reminds me of my longstanding grudge against the colour pink. It's a long story involving gender roles etc, but to this day I swear that the only pink things I like are wine, my ballet shoes, and my cat's cute widdle nose. And my ex-girlfriend's hair, now that I think of it...
I still have a grudge against Jeter, while still acknowledging he's not that bad.
You want a petty grudge? Join the GOP, they have a plethora to choose from.
I heard the Riker wanted to charge crewmembers for using the holodeck
I do have a petty grudge.
30 years ago. I bought a 256 mb RAM upgrade for my PC. During vacation we had a burglary. The insurance guy asked ua to list what was stolen. I told him my PC and my RAM upgrade (at the time the RAM had cost me 230$) I asked him if both were insured. He said to my face that "yes it is" so I listed it. It gotnrefused and he said later that no computer upgrades were it insured. I had the receipt fornthe purchase and it didnt matter.
Years later, they offers me insurance for my car. I told them a flat no and explained why. The agent offered me a 500$ compensation. I still refused and refuse to this day. Had the inaurance guy said no from the start I would have been angry bit would have held no grudge. I suppose that when he told me yes he made a mistake but .... I don't care to this day.
I'm OLD. Not yet a Karen but I'm working on it. I guess this comes with OLD territory. Sometimes I feel invisible to younger people. Sometimes people treat me as if I'm a mindless ancient entity..."Sweetie". Yet most people are kind and hold the door for me and treat me well. I was thinking about grudges I've held on to over the years. I've ghosted few friends for various reasons but seldom think about them (until now) I guess my two long standing grudges came because of poor treatment at a Papa Johns and a CVS. Haven't been in either for 20+ years. No loss. Crappy tasting pizza and saving trees by not getting mile long register receipts.
I retired from the USAF in 2011, so, I don't know if this is still the case, but, while I was in the service, the American Red Cross was the official means of notification for a family emergency. They were trusted to expedite the notification, whether you were stateside or OCONUS (outside the continental United States). With that notification, you were able to get emergency leave, and even assistance for air travel expenses.
The Red Cross officially denies the Holocaust.
I feel this one. It's like my petty grudge against your for Lower Decks and Pic S3. Politically, I want you to be my president. But Star Trek....🥵
Steve is 1/8 Dalek
This video reminds me of an old Spanish comedy film called "Don Erre Que Erre" (the title is a Spanish idiom used for a stubborn man), which I recommend. It's about a stubborn old man who is stolen 247 pesetas (25$ at the time?) during a bank robbery that happens when he's withdrawing that money from the bank, and he sues said bank. The film is all about that petty grudge and is extremely funny (also the main character is played by Paco Martínez Soria, one of the best Spanish comedic actors ever).
I had a relationship go bad like 20 years ago (not important but I felt scorned at the time) ----- I turned that anger into the old "I will show you" spiteful energy and built a moderately successful business using that as fuel to power me. *LOL* Willpower can be a wonderful and terrible thing! Some may dream of curing illness while others aspire to make 8 hour videos critiquing percieved wrongs in star wars films.
My mother and my godmother haven't spoken since shortly before my 1 year birthday...
they couldn't agree on whether the party should be on a Saturday or a Sunday....
I turn 42 in March
I haven't talked to my sister since I was 17. I'm about to turn 55. I moved five hours away from my whole family 27 years ago (for a job) and haven't been back to visit in 15 years (time is tricky for me when my husband and I have opposite shift work schedules). I have some regrets, but cutting my sister off will never be one of them. Her two kids are amazing humans, which baffles me given who raised them, but I can be thankful from a distance for that.
My Dad, a WW-2 vet, claimed the Red Cross gave the officers free cigarettes while charging the GI's.
My dad, when I was a kid, had some beef with Montgomery Ward Department Stores, I think it was over a tiller he bought and they would not fix or something. He swore off them, and shook his finger at the store the few times we happened to be in a mall parking lot with a Montgomery Ward's. It was the only boycott I ever knew him to have and hold on to. A decade or so later they went bankrupt and closed. At which point he took full credit. He lone act, had brought down the mighty behemoth.
On the other hand, The Salvation Army is a charity that 100% earns pettiness. In addition to their terrible track record, advocating harm against some of the most vulnerable in our society, they just don't actually do that much good. They're not a normal non-profit, they're a church, and that affords them far less oversight. There are numerous stories of Salvation Army managers going through donated items and taking the best for themselves. Such a thing would sound the death knell for a normal non-profit, stealing from donations, but no US politician or prosecutor wants to deal with the optics of trying to shut down a church.
When they set up disaster relief stations they charge the government market rates for food given out, even when it was donated to them. They charge the government for hours worked despite those hours being worked by unpaid volunteers. There is some good done by the simple virtue that as a non-government organization they can get there quicker and help people sooner, but they're not helping out of a sense of kindness, it's a money making operation and the sooner they get there the more money they can make before governmental organizations like FEMA take over. With more money comes more opportunities to push their viciously anti-LGBTQ+ agenda.
that's not even pettiness anymore, they just deserve to go fuck themselves
LMFAO this hysterical 🤣 ❤
You know, I can't remember the last time I saw an ad on one of your videos... do you turn them off?
Nope! You're just lucky, I guess.
I will always resent that you made this video.