"There's also a bonus +1 that Simon added. The bonus is “circumstances,” with the example being that you could meet an amazing person who fits all three categories, but maybe they live halfway around the world or they're already married."
Agreed, it's important to look deeper than surface level compatibility. Same music taste and things like that are cool, but shared values, growing together and all these deeper principles are much more important for a long term relationship.
It totally makes sense, the problem is that the first compatibility is been hard to find and for me that’s very important. I need my brain to be stimulated more than any other part of my body. I need to have meaningful conversation with my partner. It is sad to say that most people have wasted their lives not learning anything. Most are still trying to figure out who they want to be and what they want. I am talking about people in their late forties and early fifties.
Same here. I've met a man with whom I am compatible on all the things mentioned in the video but inteligence. He is a great guy, big heart, loving and caring, he would he an amazing father, but I ask myself every day, can I be with someone for life who is unable to maintain a deeper conversation with me? It is a fresh relationship and I really would like to make it work, but I already feel a lack of connection when I try to talk about culture, politics, philosophy etc. with him 😞
It depends on their willing to improve. They can be fifty years old and still want to learn. But, yes, many people, especially in the dating sites, have no idea of who they are...it's scary
@@juliecitadon’t do it. You will only become more frustrated . Really, you want and need someone who can teach things to you … inspire YOUR spiritual and mental growth. Go for that.
Could you explain what is the difference between the sexual attraction/sexual compatibility and physical attraction, and why the first is a part of creativity? I will be grateful🙏
I'm obviously not sure what he meant, but as an asexual who feels no sexual attraction, but does feel physical attraction, let me try to explain what it means to me: physical attraction just means that someone is attractive to you in the sense that you like to be close to them, that you like to touch them, have them touch you. Doesn't have to be sexual and can be found in friendships or other close relationships as well. Some people are physically repulsive to me for no good reason, and most people feel something like that occasionally. Physical attraction is the opposite. Whereas sexual attraction requires (some) physical attraction, physical attraction does not require sexual attraction.
@@XOXOX4242You can be physically attracted to someone but may not want to share that level of closeness or intimacy with that person. Granted to be sexually attracted to someone means there is a level of physical attraction but it doesn't necessarily work the other way around.
Or you could have very different sex drives, if one person wants sex everyday and the other wants it once a week that's going to cause problems over time. Or if you want to be experimental in the bedroom (try out BDSM for example) and they're too vanilla and have no interest
I’m 20 and my partner is 25, ever since i met him people have reacted negatively to the age difference. As long as your intellectually compatible the age couldn’t matter less!
It also helps if you don’t think the other person is an idiot. I’ve met people who have demonstrated to me that they are capable of a reasonably intelligent conversation, but they choose to act like incompetent doofuses most of the time. If you constantly want to roll your eyes or stop them from doing or saying whatever it is that they’re doing or saying, you’re probably not a match. And you need to be able to trust each other.
I get you, people my age I grew up with say things like "I'm getting old" or "I'm not spring chicken anymore" I'm 40 and still in my prime, stronger and wiser than ever 😂
After watching this, I came to conclusion that I'm better off alone. Too much energy spent for a little result. I pass it. 😊 I just can't depend on someone to feel "complete". I am complete by myself. Thanks!
Well he never said anything about needing someone to feel complete so that's weird 😂 The reality based on your comment is you're just not ready to be in love or allow someone else to love you because the idea that it's too much "energy" to be happy is crazy. And before you say you don't need someone to be happy nobody said that but anyone with some maturity and life experience knows that there are different kinds of happiness and partnership is one of them.
That's funny in my relationship that's been almost 20 years. The only thing we have in common is the fact that we want to support each other. That's it and it works out great. We don't agree on the same movies. We don't like the same food. We don't listen to the same music half the time. We just work together to get stuff done.
True. It's a bit heartbreaking to hear at the same time when you're hopeful for a relationship to work out. Unfortunately emotional-mental maturity is such a scarce thing these days.
More importantly you don’t HAVE to have anything. Instead of putting expectations on your relationship or partner, find what you’re working with and work towards what you want. Also, you don’t HAVE to have that particular relationship.
Does he have a longer version of this. Biggest (or toughest) one for me to figure out how to find intellectual compatibility. I have tested with IQ over 145, I majored in Physical Chemistry and Mathematics. I am a self taught coder who got into Data Science in 2012 and now am a Senior Solutions Architect in Artificial Intelligence. I listen to podcasts in Psychology, Neuroscience for fun. I go to the gym 5+ days a week. I am very goofy, love 2-way conversations, but I realize for someone to "talk" in these areas is tough. I didn't see a single girl in my major while in college. Only a couple in Mathematics. I'm a very Sr Software Architect, haven't met a female in my field. And podcasts are definitely a particular taste. I don't expect anyone to be like this (^^ above). So what do I do for intellectual compatibility? "Teach and Learn" -- I should note I am a former HS Math teacher. I'm a high empathy, but that doesn't mean I get understood. On dating profiles I put "ability to love or appreciate an intellectual" -- and I don't say this as a "static" smart thinking, but the active learner part. And I'm definitely not "know it all" because I'm asking how to be compatible here, or any help on how to table set that discussion with someone to lead into what that compatibility should look like.
You can be taught many things by other people and enjoy their way of looking at things and how they enjoy life. Instead of dating apps you might be better participating in meetings/orgs (MeetUp) in fields that interest you. Or go to language classes - something mildly intellectual and you will find a certain slice of the demographic. Dating apps are pretty crap.
I think this is still calculated...It takes Love. Compassion. Tenderness. Integrity. Trust. And sticking to it when all the pluses we counted on in the other dry up or seem to have left for what may be forever. Aside from mental or physical abuse and adultery, these seems more important for the long haul. Otherwise, it's going to fall apart and leave only mourning and loss in its wake.
The +1 is that the person and yourself are physically available for the relationship. Ie not already in a relationship; not living 4000km away, different country, and being open to forming the relationship bond.
Theory.. You will never or rarely find somebody for life. Life is not like that. You forget life and expierience together, which makes you grow together.
Someone once joked that a great relationship is the smart one know the spouse is not so smart but try very best not to show it while the stupid one knows they re stupid but appreciate their second half for treating them well…
@@jenniferlaspina7653 if I find it I’ll post the key words to search. He’s got a lot of content on his channel to dig through. I searched “Simon Sinek Mental Fitness” and found a bunch of short form content, but this was at least an hour long
@@jenniferlaspina7653 Okay, search “Simon Sinek I feel lonely”. It’s a two hour interview It’s also not this channel. So many people have stolen his content that I honestly don’t know which is the real one
As you are giving off your list I’m applying to a friendship thinking how can I make this a great relationship. All was going well until I realized you are talking about marriage because the third one does not apply 😳
What about geographical comparability? With the internet you can have a relationship halfway around the world, then eventually you can consummate that relationship.
I was truly blessed with a 3. 45+ years ended too soon. May he rejoice in paradise my love.
My condolences to you
My condolences to you…
🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Beautiful!
That and patience, trust, honesty, communication, and togetherness and space at the correct space.
"There's also a bonus +1 that Simon added. The bonus is “circumstances,” with the example being that you could meet an amazing person who fits all three categories, but maybe they live halfway around the world or they're already married."
Or both 😢
Well said😂😂
Or in a season of life where they are not open to pursuing a relationship, if single.
I'm not sure why you used a married person as an example.
Yes so true. All examples are valid.
If already married, ..next. The 5th add...married people are off limits.
We’ve taken a lot of knocks over the years and now we’re older and sick. But having that soulmate makes up for it all ❤️
Agreed, it's important to look deeper than surface level compatibility. Same music taste and things like that are cool, but shared values, growing together and all these deeper principles are much more important for a long term relationship.
It totally makes sense, the problem is that the first compatibility is been hard to find and for me that’s very important. I need my brain to be stimulated more than any other part of my body. I need to have meaningful conversation with my partner. It is sad to say that most people have wasted their lives not learning anything. Most are still trying to figure out who they want to be and what they want. I am talking about people in their late forties and early fifties.
Same here. I've met a man with whom I am compatible on all the things mentioned in the video but inteligence. He is a great guy, big heart, loving and caring, he would he an amazing father, but I ask myself every day, can I be with someone for life who is unable to maintain a deeper conversation with me? It is a fresh relationship and I really would like to make it work, but I already feel a lack of connection when I try to talk about culture, politics, philosophy etc. with him 😞
It depends on their willing to improve.
They can be fifty years old and still want to learn.
But, yes, many people, especially in the dating sites, have no idea of who they are...it's scary
Keep trying Amen✝️
@@juliecitadon’t do it. You will only become more frustrated . Really, you want and need someone who can teach things to you … inspire YOUR spiritual and mental growth. Go for that.
Same here......meaningful conversation is everything. Even with every other thing seems perfect, without depth....It is not fulfilling for the soul.
Sounds fun. I love Simon's messages.
Love this message!
So true! Chemistry alone can’t keep it going ❤
Could you explain what is the difference between the sexual attraction/sexual compatibility and physical attraction, and why the first is a part of creativity? I will be grateful🙏
Das hab ich auch nicht verstanden.
Würde mich sehr interessieren
I'm obviously not sure what he meant, but as an asexual who feels no sexual attraction, but does feel physical attraction, let me try to explain what it means to me: physical attraction just means that someone is attractive to you in the sense that you like to be close to them, that you like to touch them, have them touch you. Doesn't have to be sexual and can be found in friendships or other close relationships as well. Some people are physically repulsive to me for no good reason, and most people feel something like that occasionally. Physical attraction is the opposite. Whereas sexual attraction requires (some) physical attraction, physical attraction does not require sexual attraction.
care, empathy, growth - those are the three things
Very interesting that physical attraction and sexual attraction are not the same. I see now that that is true. Never really knew that before.
Could you explain how they're different please? I'm having trouble understanding that.
@@XOXOX4242You can be physically attracted to someone but may not want to share that level of closeness or intimacy with that person. Granted to be sexually attracted to someone means there is a level of physical attraction but it doesn't necessarily work the other way around.
@@XOXOX4242yes I'm here to see how they are different. wouldn't you need physical attraction to have the other?
Me to @@XOXOX4242
Or you could have very different sex drives, if one person wants sex everyday and the other wants it once a week that's going to cause problems over time. Or if you want to be experimental in the bedroom (try out BDSM for example) and they're too vanilla and have no interest
Simon Sinek, great insight.
I’m 20 and my partner is 25, ever since i met him people have reacted negatively to the age difference. As long as your intellectually compatible the age couldn’t matter less!
5 years is not a big difference when both partners are out of school...
Well said!
It also helps if you don’t think the other person is an idiot. I’ve met people who have demonstrated to me that they are capable of a reasonably intelligent conversation, but they choose to act like incompetent doofuses most of the time. If you constantly want to roll your eyes or stop them from doing or saying whatever it is that they’re doing or saying, you’re probably not a match. And you need to be able to trust each other.
I love this.❤❤❤
Greatly explained 💯👍💯
Absolutely, great advice! 👍
I get you, people my age I grew up with say things like "I'm getting old" or "I'm not spring chicken anymore" I'm 40 and still in my prime, stronger and wiser than ever 😂
WTF did that have to do with what he said in this clip😶
@@graws7009😂😂😂😂 exactly
Love a wiseman, thanks Simon❤❤❤
Be not unequally yoked 🙌🏼💙✝️
100
Thank YOU ☀️ ❤
After watching this, I came to conclusion that I'm better off alone. Too much energy spent for a little result. I pass it. 😊
I just can't depend on someone to feel "complete". I am complete by myself. Thanks!
You just need to find someone like you in that regard, and the two of you will be able to make things work.
Well he never said anything about needing someone to feel complete so that's weird 😂 The reality based on your comment is you're just not ready to be in love or allow someone else to love you because the idea that it's too much "energy" to be happy is crazy. And before you say you don't need someone to be happy nobody said that but anyone with some maturity and life experience knows that there are different kinds of happiness and partnership is one of them.
You are wonderful!
Relationships are complete when it's 2 complete people coming together. The video talked about compatibility not completeness
Who said anything about being incomplete? Seems you are far from complete if that’s your take.
That's funny in my relationship that's been almost 20 years. The only thing we have in common is the fact that we want to support each other. That's it and it works out great. We don't agree on the same movies. We don't like the same food. We don't listen to the same music half the time.
We just work together to get stuff done.
True. It's a bit heartbreaking to hear at the same time when you're hopeful for a relationship to work out. Unfortunately emotional-mental maturity is such a scarce thing these days.
one of the best things i ever heard
Excellent ideas
Yes, it is possible to achieve great relationships with the Three Plus One.
Agreed. It’s hard to find all three at midlife. Really, really hard.
It’s really hard at any age. People can be absolute duffelpuds.
If your still looking at middle age you missed a while out of repetivev lessons the universe gave you in your early 20s.
So basically it’s like winning the lottery
Ew with that attitude sure
@@thebeatmajors_ytits rough out there as a woman.
@@Arginne it's rough out there as a man too
@@Arginne yeah because women are always the victim. Things are so rough for women.
Thank you,
This helps me.
SIMON!!!!!🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
Definitely the truth
💯 True 😊
احبك شرحك ودقتك ❤❤❤ احسنت
More importantly you don’t HAVE to have anything. Instead of putting expectations on your relationship or partner, find what you’re working with and work towards what you want. Also, you don’t HAVE to have that particular relationship.
Insightful
Love this man
Does he have a longer version of this.
Biggest (or toughest) one for me to figure out how to find intellectual compatibility. I have tested with IQ over 145, I majored in Physical Chemistry and Mathematics. I am a self taught coder who got into Data Science in 2012 and now am a Senior Solutions Architect in Artificial Intelligence. I listen to podcasts in Psychology, Neuroscience for fun. I go to the gym 5+ days a week. I am very goofy, love 2-way conversations, but I realize for someone to "talk" in these areas is tough. I didn't see a single girl in my major while in college. Only a couple in Mathematics. I'm a very Sr Software Architect, haven't met a female in my field. And podcasts are definitely a particular taste.
I don't expect anyone to be like this (^^ above). So what do I do for intellectual compatibility? "Teach and Learn" -- I should note I am a former HS Math teacher. I'm a high empathy, but that doesn't mean I get understood. On dating profiles I put "ability to love or appreciate an intellectual" -- and I don't say this as a "static" smart thinking, but the active learner part. And I'm definitely not "know it all" because I'm asking how to be compatible here, or any help on how to table set that discussion with someone to lead into what that compatibility should look like.
You can be taught many things by other people and enjoy their way of looking at things and how they enjoy life. Instead of dating apps you might be better participating in meetings/orgs (MeetUp) in fields that interest you. Or go to language classes - something mildly intellectual and you will find a certain slice of the demographic. Dating apps are pretty crap.
Pretty sure he is speaking on the Diary of a CEO podcast here. You can search for his name within the podcast on RUclips.
I agree with this
Exactly ❤
WISDOM❤
TRUE FACT'S ❤❤❤
Very nicely said
Very true
He forgot spiritual compatibility
Values
Is there a link to the full video?
I agree..❤
Makes sense 🥹
excelente tips, so true!❤😢
I just love him.
I think this is still calculated...It takes Love. Compassion. Tenderness. Integrity. Trust. And sticking to it when all the pluses we counted on in the other dry up or seem to have left for what may be forever. Aside from mental or physical abuse and adultery, these seems more important for the long haul. Otherwise, it's going to fall apart and leave only mourning and loss in its wake.
Where is the full video?
So true
Creativity of the hearts time
Ticking on the collection
of seconds for attention
In direction to becoming
your greatest visions
Guess that I'll have to make up the +1
The +1 is that the person and yourself are physically available for the relationship. Ie not already in a relationship; not living 4000km away, different country, and being open to forming the relationship bond.
Bro subtitles got me bad here: Original: "Can't... without 3". Subtitles: "kind of... with that 3"
YES!!!!!
What is the attraction of
Physical/sexual ?
Is physical observing someone is “ nice looking ?”
Sexual is fantasizing about them ?
Anyone knows where is the long version of this?
Theory..
You will never or rarely find somebody for life. Life is not like that. You forget life and expierience together, which makes you grow together.
Im gonna leave a comment so I can watch this every other day. I think I just met a great lady ❤
He makes a complex thing so simple. And it's not possible to have all 3 going high all the time. It needs work and commitment
True
Me and my partner have these 3 plus more
what the king video vlog
Someone once joked that a great relationship is the smart one know the spouse is not so smart but try very best not to show it while the stupid one knows they re stupid but appreciate their second half for treating them well…
Fully accurate
There are 3 levels: mental, physical and spiritual, if you have these three is great!
NICE❤
I listened to this whole conversation and just cried. Long drive home.
Can you please share the link/source?
@@jenniferlaspina7653 if I find it I’ll post the key words to search. He’s got a lot of content on his channel to dig through. I searched “Simon Sinek Mental Fitness” and found a bunch of short form content, but this was at least an hour long
@@jenniferlaspina7653 Okay, search “Simon Sinek I feel lonely”. It’s a two hour interview
It’s also not this channel. So many people have stolen his content that I honestly don’t know which is the real one
your captions are wrong. It's WAX AND WANE. You also missed the +1. Do this one over again please.
What is the difference between sexual and physical attraction?
Trinity which is oneness: spiritual + trinity : soul, mind and body. Without strong understanding what real love is, it won’t work.
Nailed it - The elusive relationship trifecta. Did you learn this by living it? Curious.
All of them!😎
What's the +1part?
Circumstance. If the environment both are in can foster the relationship 😊
Having a side chick
@@shiva_689
🤣🤣
Three in one firstAmen❤
This is cool
24 years we have all 3
yes 👍🏻
My doctor says. Emotional Compatibility,
Sexual Compatibility, Financial Security.
Confused his point 3rd point..decided to change it midway lol 😅
I am just happy I gave up relationships 30 years ago. Who has the patience for this?
Head, heart and hormones ?
Yes ! Love your take so much easier to remember:)
🤔
Sean Lennon, you're looking good!
As you are giving off your list I’m applying to a friendship thinking how can I make this a great relationship. All was going well until I realized you are talking about marriage because the third one does not apply 😳
What is sexual attraction if not physical?
exactly, if there is no physical attraction, everything he mentioned don't matter at all
1 1/2 here holding strong
keep holding girl. you got it, all the best
When you had all three, but he just decided to break up with you
Then you didn't
None of the above! But married for 36 years & every year I want to quite I hope that day comes soon!! I can't take any more of it!
I started dating a guy. When he said he approved of violent revolutions, I stopped wanting him in the long term. What incompatibility is that one?
Incompatibilies in values can destroy a relationship after a while , at the latest when the fysical attraction go down
I would add that you have to have the same values too.
How does that work for people waiting for marriage?
What does creative mean?
What about geographical comparability? With the internet you can have a relationship halfway around the world, then eventually you can consummate that relationship.
How many people do you have to sleep with before you find the person who is compatible this way?
We had it all still he chose to leave me
I have absolutely none of those. 26yrs and living in a lonely marriage