My 9w1 partner is a chemist, so when I once said “We’re hydrogen bonds!” When we were sitting next to each other. He told me he’d rather be a covalent double bond and hugged me. That’s still freaking adorable and your video reminded me of that time.
I'm a 9w1 and I legit got teary listening to these points. These are SO true. It was like someone just looked into my soul and pulled out what I need from a relationship. Thank you for helping people understand us!! It means a lot 🤗
😭😭😭😭 thanks for your comment, Miriam. It’s heartwarming to know that you feel seen through something I film in my living room. Thank you for being here!! ♥️
Nailed it! I think that Suzanne Stabile quote is super important. When we ARE confident and passionate about something, not only do we want to make the decisions, but it is hurtful when someone walks over us and makes the decision for us. But stuff like where to eat, etc., or anything we're not confident or passionate about, yes, please! I have learned to say to my husband when he asks what I want (like on a date night) "What I really want is for you to decide. That would make me happy."
My husband is a 9, and I’m an 8. This was VERY helpful! Sometimes he seems so laid back and like he doesn’t really need much. I need to give him more of these things, he’s been a good partner to me. He’s learned to adapt well to my type 8 ways!
You reminded me of how pleasantly surprised and quietly touched I am when someone remembers little details I told them weeks ago. Another very big and related thing I would add, which is my biggest longing in life- To be seen and known, and ACCEPTED and LOVED unconditionally when they know the whole me- that’s all I’ve ever wanted in all my relationships. A few days ago I was feeling judged and very vulnerable at work for confessing a Thing and could feel myself shrinking again, and I talked to my manager about it after work and confessed to her. I thought it would damage her professional opinion of me, but she didn’t bat an eye and told me she thought the world of me, and I just burst into tears. I was a mess in front of her with all that affirmation, and to be seen and sooo valued and respected, especially by higher-ups, that hit me to my core.
Great video!! Many 9s initially mistype as 5s, and this brings to light how (when you go beyond surface level) 5s and 9s are VERY different!! Thanks Abbey!!! 🙌
Abbey, this was so so legit! I’m a Nine, with some 7 in me. Even though I usually plan dates with my wife, I struggle with speaking up about decisions, especially major ones! However, I am consciously working on that, among other things. My wife is a strong 1, so A TON of relationship dynamics between us! Anyway, God Bless you and your videos Abbey. So grateful!
I'm a 9 and my husband is a 6. I feel very lucky because I don't think anyone else would be as patient with me, Lord bless him.. I have a hard time telling my husband what I want because I feel like it won't be real and he's just checking a box because I asked.
As some of my fellow 9w1s mentioned, I too almost teared up hearing this! It’s on point, 100%. This video made me smile so big because to hear what I need in a relationship explained and expressed so well made me so excited. My brain kept scream YES! as the video progressed. Thank you for your work and noticing us!
Infp 9w1 youre precious. 🤗😊 He likes all touchy things=hug, kiss, hold hands etc. And yes an an 5w4 I have huge memory and yes details attracts him. 🤭😁 He is calm, also panicky sometimes but Im panicky too haha, big empathetic person, funny, clever, respectful...
The best coincidence of my life... You made this life perfect for me, I was trapped in its bad parts before. My savior, my guide, my beloved and many more 😇
I'm a nine but I actually don't want people to just make decisions for me. I want them to ask my opinion because I want to feel like my opinion matters and don't always have to compromise and do what the other wants
9w1 and I don't want to be the decision maker, I do want to be asked for my thoughts though. Sometimes I want veto power, haha. Like I may not know what I want to eat but if you give me some options I may be able to narrow down the options through what I don't want.... but don't plan my life out for me.
Yes... 9w1 here, too... and yes...not only teary but a bit of 'ouch'... (wish I would've known myself better years back... maybe not being so vulnerable as I was...) Well ...we 9's persevere on!
New to the enneagram 9w1 here! I had no idea that the insecurity and hating/fearing to be overlooked was a Type 9 thing! Wow… 🤯 I loved the melding of the minds and the DNA analogy, so true as well, on BOTH counts! Thanks Abbey for another super insightful video 😍
Loving your work, Abbey! My wife and I took the enneageam as part of our pre-marital counseling (classic 2/9 pairing) so I'm always watching your Type 9 videos to learn to love her better. I had this idea that you might want to pursue: historical figures/ culture icons/saints broken down by enneagram type. I'm thinking saint Francis would be a 4 while saint therese definitely seems like a 9. What do you think? Thanks again!
This was really cool and I relate a lot to it. Whenever I think about enneagram I get a pretty even split between 9 and 4, so I’d love to heave this for the other types
Oh is this a new series? Great idea! looking forward to all the entries you seem to have nailed this one judging by all the ppl getting emotional in the comments. as a writer im defs taking notes
Im a 9 and if all was possible I want someone that can read my mind and understand my heart and thought process without explanation. Which I get is impossible and therefore I stay single. Lmao
of important note, or an interesting video idea, what happens when the 9 is mixed with a selfish person, who chooses themself over the 9 in all decisions, where to do for dinner, where to go for vacation, what to do with extra funds, etc. and then MASK their generosity as if it is all for the 9 and blame the 9 for not being appreciative.
I seen a video about number 9 but the comments section was switched off , so I share here , if you count the number position of the word love and add each number , you get 54 you know the rest
I was just curious if fours and nines often coincide? Because a lot of these sound like fours too, and I've been going back and forth between the two. I'm like eighty percent sure I'm a nine, but I'm kind of curious
My 9w1 partner is a chemist, so when I once said “We’re hydrogen bonds!” When we were sitting next to each other. He told me he’d rather be a covalent double bond and hugged me. That’s still freaking adorable and your video reminded me of that time.
aww that is so cute
Cute little covalent double bond :p :)
I'm a 9w1 and I legit got teary listening to these points. These are SO true. It was like someone just looked into my soul and pulled out what I need from a relationship. Thank you for helping people understand us!! It means a lot 🤗
😭😭😭😭 thanks for your comment, Miriam. It’s heartwarming to know that you feel seen through something I film in my living room. Thank you for being here!! ♥️
I came here to say the exact same thing. 9w1. Started tearing up.
Same 9w1!! haha I never put to words all these feelings, and I'm so thankful to have it all verbalized!!!!!!
Nailed it! I think that Suzanne Stabile quote is super important. When we ARE confident and passionate about something, not only do we want to make the decisions, but it is hurtful when someone walks over us and makes the decision for us. But stuff like where to eat, etc., or anything we're not confident or passionate about, yes, please! I have learned to say to my husband when he asks what I want (like on a date night) "What I really want is for you to decide. That would make me happy."
My husband is a 9, and I’m an 8. This was VERY helpful! Sometimes he seems so laid back and like he doesn’t really need much. I need to give him more of these things, he’s been a good partner to me. He’s learned to adapt well to my type 8 ways!
I'm a 5w6. My girlfriend is a 9w1. My biggest mistake is saying "What do you feel like" when she asks what's for dinner.
😂😂😂
Lmao this is too real.
You reminded me of how pleasantly surprised and quietly touched I am when someone remembers little details I told them weeks ago.
Another very big and related thing I would add, which is my biggest longing in life-
To be seen and known, and ACCEPTED and LOVED unconditionally when they know the whole me- that’s all I’ve ever wanted in all my relationships.
A few days ago I was feeling judged and very vulnerable at work for confessing a Thing and could feel myself shrinking again, and I talked to my manager about it after work and confessed to her. I thought it would damage her professional opinion of me, but she didn’t bat an eye and told me she thought the world of me, and I just burst into tears. I was a mess in front of her with all that affirmation, and to be seen and sooo valued and respected, especially by higher-ups, that hit me to my core.
Me an 8: "Why does this person exist?"
Also Me an 8: "This is acceptable."
Exactly, they seem super casual and like "I'm cool", but they actually want their partner to notice what they need "_
Great video!! Many 9s initially mistype as 5s, and this brings to light how (when you go beyond surface level) 5s and 9s are VERY different!! Thanks Abbey!!! 🙌
As a 9, this was an AMAZING video! I felt seen and validated just watching it… such a 9 thing, right!?! Thanks for your amazing content 💖
Thanks for this, Abbey! My mother's a 9w1 so this was really insightful.
Also a few of my characters are 9w1s and 9w8s so I literally took notes lolz.
Abbey, this was so so legit! I’m a Nine, with some 7 in me. Even though I usually plan dates with my wife, I struggle with speaking up about decisions, especially major ones! However, I am consciously working on that, among other things.
My wife is a strong 1, so A TON of relationship dynamics between us! Anyway, God Bless you and your videos Abbey. So grateful!
Having a healthy type 5 boyfriend is the best thing for me because these are all natural to him💓
I'm a 9 and my husband is a 6. I feel very lucky because I don't think anyone else would be as patient with me, Lord bless him.. I have a hard time telling my husband what I want because I feel like it won't be real and he's just checking a box because I asked.
As some of my fellow 9w1s mentioned, I too almost teared up hearing this! It’s on point, 100%. This video made me smile so big because to hear what I need in a relationship explained and expressed so well made me so excited. My brain kept scream YES! as the video progressed. Thank you for your work and noticing us!
Infp 9w1 youre precious. 🤗😊 He likes all touchy things=hug, kiss, hold hands etc. And yes an an 5w4 I have huge memory and yes details attracts him. 🤭😁 He is calm, also panicky sometimes but Im panicky too haha, big empathetic person, funny, clever, respectful...
Ah! Female INFP 9w1 dating a male INTP 5w4! Your comment made me happy!
The best coincidence of my life... You made this life perfect for me, I was trapped in its bad parts before. My savior, my guide, my beloved and many more 😇
The accuracy of this. Thank you so much for helping me understand myself with all these videos!
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
I'm a nine but I actually don't want people to just make decisions for me. I want them to ask my opinion because I want to feel like my opinion matters and don't always have to compromise and do what the other wants
9w1 and I don't want to be the decision maker, I do want to be asked for my thoughts though. Sometimes I want veto power, haha. Like I may not know what I want to eat but if you give me some options I may be able to narrow down the options through what I don't want.... but don't plan my life out for me.
#2 for sure. I've been single most of my life and I'm fine with that, but I have thought it would be nice to have someone to make decisions with.
I want someone to encourage me do want i want to do ,someone can understand me ,and someone never ever give up on me 🙂👤..
As a 9 I feel attracted to type 1’s because they seem so sweet. 1’s can be so caring.
Yes... 9w1 here, too... and yes...not only teary but a bit of 'ouch'... (wish I would've known myself better years back... maybe not being so vulnerable as I was...) Well ...we 9's persevere on!
New to the enneagram 9w1 here! I had no idea that the insecurity and hating/fearing to be overlooked was a Type 9 thing! Wow… 🤯 I loved the melding of the minds and the DNA analogy, so true as well, on BOTH counts! Thanks Abbey for another super insightful video 😍
TRUTH!! Made me cry it's so true!! What a great teacher you are Abbey!! New favorite Enneagram person!! 💕
Yep, absolutely. I know these well. My fiancee and I are both 9w1.
Loving your work, Abbey! My wife and I took the enneageam as part of our pre-marital counseling (classic 2/9 pairing) so I'm always watching your Type 9 videos to learn to love her better. I had this idea that you might want to pursue: historical figures/ culture icons/saints broken down by enneagram type. I'm thinking saint Francis would be a 4 while saint therese definitely seems like a 9. What do you think? Thanks again!
Please do type 2 next! Or soon! My husband is a 9w1, and this is all so true for him, thank you.
Thank you so much! I am in a relationship with an amazing 9w1 and this is gold!
This was really cool and I relate a lot to it. Whenever I think about enneagram I get a pretty even split between 9 and 4, so I’d love to heave this for the other types
could you do videos like this for friendships too? my bestie is a 9w1 and I wanna know how not to be overwhelming as a 2w1 lol 😂
This is so accurate for me...thanks for your fun videos!
Thank you Abbey. We love you!
Oh is this a new series?
Great idea! looking forward to all the entries
you seem to have nailed this one judging by all the ppl getting emotional in the comments.
as a writer im defs taking notes
Great video! My wonderful spouse is a 9...this is accurate! 🤗💛
9w8 here! This hit the nail on the head. Thank you for this video! I'm sharing this video with my husband
I feel seen by these comments! Great video!
9w1 here and this was spot on !!! Secret thing #3 was mind blowing! Never looked at it that way!
I really love bed cuddles… I can lay on him for hours and not be bored.
Great information!
Really helpful thank you! I really like how you dig deeper into motivation by taking those fears and "flipping" them around, makes sense!
My father is a 9 and my mother is a 6. And then there was me.........an 8.
Accepting that I occasionally need alone time without taking it personally!
Im a 9 and if all was possible I want someone that can read my mind and understand my heart and thought process without explanation. Which I get is impossible and therefore I stay single. Lmao
of important note, or an interesting video idea, what happens when the 9 is mixed with a selfish person, who chooses themself over the 9 in all decisions, where to do for dinner, where to go for vacation, what to do with extra funds, etc. and then MASK their generosity as if it is all for the 9 and blame the 9 for not being appreciative.
YESSSSSS THIS IS SO ACCURATE IT'S SCARY
Can you please explain tritypes!! I love ur videos!
I seen a video about number 9 but the comments section was switched off , so I share here , if you count the number position of the word love and add each number , you get 54 you know the rest
I don’t even know what I want 😅.
Sincerely, 9
I was just curious if fours and nines often coincide? Because a lot of these sound like fours too, and I've been going back and forth between the two. I'm like eighty percent sure I'm a nine, but I'm kind of curious
What 8s or 3s think about 9s?
"nines want companionship [...] someone to snuggle with on the morning"
9w1 So/Sx here, and THIS, 100%.
please, companionship🥺