Thanks for this video! ❤ I’m a 9 and I have a 2 mom and my ex bestie was a 2. Not a romantic relationship but it sure is intense with them that sometimes I just end up numbing things out (we were codependent too) 😂 but when 2s love they really make you feel included, heard and understood.
I am a 2w1 and my husband is a 9w8. I found this video very spot on about our relationship dynamic. We are working through both healing and living into our healthier selves. I constantly need to suppress my urge to not hold resentment for not being recognized/appreciated for the things I do. Both of us have a hard time setting boundaries. I have a hard time verbalizing my needs, he has a hard time expressing his emotions if his opinion differs from mine (ah, the peacemaker). When I’m hurt, I do become very critical like an 8 in conflict. The enneagram is such a helpful tool for understanding myself and how we relate to each other. I hope we can do the work to create a healthy space for both of us to feel comfortable expressing our needs.
I'm a social 9 who was raised by a 2 mom, which often makes me look like a 2 on the outside. (I was originally pretty sure I was a 2, but in watching more videos about the 2 type and witnessing some of the less-healthy 2s in my life, I've realized that's not who I am.) All that said, I identified with BOTH the people in this video lol!
That makes a lot of sense! Also why I had to mention how similar these types are at the start of the video. Definitely one of those things where people on the outside would have no idea which type you really, as only you know your core motivations/struggles. So thanks for sharing!
i was raised by a 2w3 mom and she is very loving and caring i did see those spurts of anger and then she would pretend like it didnt happen. The biggest conflict is with my dad who wasnt the best of partners so she was often left with doing the most in the relationship. It's like during arguments her pride refused to apologize even when it was her fault but she also refused to leave the relationship despite MAJOR problems. for a long time i thought that that was love, and it had to be as unconditional as hers. but as I grew up and she found her worth, things got alot better. 2s are some of the most loving, giving, and selfless people youll ever meet. but unfortunately so many people take advantage of that kindness. one of my favorite types by far.
As a 2, my wonderful relationship with a 9, is stressed with a different level of conscientiousness to commitments made . ( Different levels of 1 energy) Her passive aggression comes out in making commitments to 5 organizations, saying she will attend, often placing herself in important official positions, booking 5 meetings on the same night, and not going to any. Her laughter at this constant ploy, gives her away. It boggles my 2 mind. She wants peace, but refusing to take a position or set a boundary, has chaos around her all the time. I am beginning to believe , as in the movie, "The Runaway Bride", that a nine thrives in chaos.
Hmmmm that all sounds far more like a 7 than a 9 because of the "important positions at 5 different organizations" and mostly that enjoyment of chaos as it's a product of being an anxious head type. 9s can get used to chaos, but they never enjoy it. 7s are far more likely to look like they're basking in the sun which it's really a light from the fires they create.
So I just decided to dive into the enneagram (6w7 here) and I'm amazed with everything about it. I've also come here to ask if you could do an assessment on popular video game characters. I've been playing GTA and I'm so curious if you think that the characters are the same type I think they are.
Ya know I'm not big on typing fictional characters because I try to stay focused on using the enneagram as a tool for personal growth and self-awareness. However, I get that typing characters can be fun and I've done it a few times with LOTR, Ted Lasso, and Oppenheimer with the hopes that people will use it as a spring board for deeper introspection. With all that said, if I somehow get hooked on GTA 6 when it comes out, I may consider it. Not sure how much crossover there is for fans of GTA and the enneagram tho haha.
i remember as a kid my mom was banging on the door wanting to be let inside my parents bedroom and i don't exactly remember the argument but my dad was basically playing into being on his side rather than hers watching a show with me and ignoring her so i played along and ignored her too, definitely fed into my nine-ness
Positive outlook, avoidant of negative emotion Relationships for connection and security 9 integrates to 3 / 2 with 3 wing Neediness driven by insecurity in self-worth 9s fixate on positive in people
I don’t quite understand step 2 of the conflict. The 9 enjoys the experience of solitude and starts to play with the delusions that take them away from the real conflict: can you give an example? What kind of delusions, and does this mean they’re mocking the seriousness of the situation? Or maybe it’s a condescension? Is this defensive in nature or are they making an attempt to escalate it?And what kind of enjoyment would that bring them?
Why are all the 2's I've met really difficult people? Is it that they are mistyped ennegrams, (maybe a 4) or just unhealthy 2's? I only know one really bubbly happy-go-lucky type 2 and she's AMAZING but the rest seem aggressive, codependent, controlling and no bubbly personality at all. To clarify they are family members. Hehe
Ironic that I called these two types cousins/family members at the start of the video :) I think it always comes back to focusing on what we can control + how we're doing mentally/emotionally, as "we see the world & people not as they are, but as we are." (not my quote).
When u get too close ,u get the ugly side of ppls ig ,...2s are amazing with new ppl/acquaintances but when it comes to close relationships, then everything comes up
Thanks for this video! ❤ I’m a 9 and I have a 2 mom and my ex bestie was a 2. Not a romantic relationship but it sure is intense with them that sometimes I just end up numbing things out (we were codependent too) 😂 but when 2s love they really make you feel included, heard and understood.
My pleasure! And thanks for sharing those specific examples from your life :)
i'm watching this for the same reason lol, my best friend is a 9w8 and i'm a 2w1.
I am a 2w1 and my husband is a 9w8. I found this video very spot on about our relationship dynamic. We are working through both healing and living into our healthier selves. I constantly need to suppress my urge to not hold resentment for not being recognized/appreciated for the things I do. Both of us have a hard time setting boundaries. I have a hard time verbalizing my needs, he has a hard time expressing his emotions if his opinion differs from mine (ah, the peacemaker). When I’m hurt, I do become very critical like an 8 in conflict. The enneagram is such a helpful tool for understanding myself and how we relate to each other. I hope we can do the work to create a healthy space for both of us to feel comfortable expressing our needs.
Thank you for sharing how these frameworks play out in your personal life 🙏 best wishes on the future of your relationship together!
I'm a social 9 who was raised by a 2 mom, which often makes me look like a 2 on the outside. (I was originally pretty sure I was a 2, but in watching more videos about the 2 type and witnessing some of the less-healthy 2s in my life, I've realized that's not who I am.) All that said, I identified with BOTH the people in this video lol!
That makes a lot of sense! Also why I had to mention how similar these types are at the start of the video. Definitely one of those things where people on the outside would have no idea which type you really, as only you know your core motivations/struggles. So thanks for sharing!
same here
i was raised by a 2w3 mom and she is very loving and caring i did see those spurts of anger and then she would pretend like it didnt happen. The biggest conflict is with my dad who wasnt the best of partners so she was often left with doing the most in the relationship. It's like during arguments her pride refused to apologize even when it was her fault but she also refused to leave the relationship despite MAJOR problems. for a long time i thought that that was love, and it had to be as unconditional as hers. but as I grew up and she found her worth, things got alot better. 2s are some of the most loving, giving, and selfless people youll ever meet. but unfortunately so many people take advantage of that kindness. one of my favorite types by far.
As a 2, my wonderful relationship with a 9, is stressed with a different level of conscientiousness to commitments made . ( Different levels of 1 energy) Her passive aggression comes out in making commitments to 5 organizations, saying she will attend, often placing herself in important official positions, booking 5 meetings on the same night, and not going to any. Her laughter at this constant ploy, gives her away. It boggles my 2 mind. She wants peace, but refusing to take a position or set a boundary, has chaos around her all the time. I am beginning to believe , as in the movie, "The Runaway Bride", that a nine thrives in chaos.
Hmmmm that all sounds far more like a 7 than a 9 because of the "important positions at 5 different organizations" and mostly that enjoyment of chaos as it's a product of being an anxious head type. 9s can get used to chaos, but they never enjoy it. 7s are far more likely to look like they're basking in the sun which it's really a light from the fires they create.
@@YouveGotaType Wow! I may have been looking at her qualities with different lenses. Thank you for responding.
Very good!!
Thanks Kate!
So I just decided to dive into the enneagram (6w7 here) and I'm amazed with everything about it. I've also come here to ask if you could do an assessment on popular video game characters. I've been playing GTA and I'm so curious if you think that the characters are the same type I think they are.
Ya know I'm not big on typing fictional characters because I try to stay focused on using the enneagram as a tool for personal growth and self-awareness. However, I get that typing characters can be fun and I've done it a few times with LOTR, Ted Lasso, and Oppenheimer with the hopes that people will use it as a spring board for deeper introspection. With all that said, if I somehow get hooked on GTA 6 when it comes out, I may consider it. Not sure how much crossover there is for fans of GTA and the enneagram tho haha.
Thanks again for starting with 9 😭
My pleasure :) Y'all had to be super patient last year haha
i remember as a kid my mom was banging on the door wanting to be let inside my parents bedroom and i don't exactly remember the argument but my dad was basically playing into being on his side rather than hers watching a show with me and ignoring her so i played along and ignored her too, definitely fed into my nine-ness
Thought provoking and thorough. Thank you for making this
My pleasure, and glad you enjoyed it!
Positive outlook, avoidant of negative emotion
Relationships for connection and security
9 integrates to 3 / 2 with 3 wing
Neediness driven by insecurity in self-worth
9s fixate on positive in people
Self-possession rather than seeking approval
2s receive compliments from 9
2s and 9s value home
Facade of positivity
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO START OR STOP IN OUR RELATJONSHIP?
Love your channel! Taught me a lot about enneagrams! Can you please do a video on 2 and 6 relationships?
Glad to hear it! And yup, it's in the queue :) Just working my way down from combos with 9s, then 8, then 7, etc.
@@YouveGotaType can’t wait! Sucks that I’m a 2 😅 I’ll be here though haha
Great video! This is my sweetheart and I 💛 very helpful.
Thanks much! Glad it was a helpful watch :)
Could you make a video about 2s and 4s?🌸
I don’t quite understand step 2 of the conflict. The 9 enjoys the experience of solitude and starts to play with the delusions that take them away from the real conflict: can you give an example? What kind of delusions, and does this mean they’re mocking the seriousness of the situation? Or maybe it’s a condescension? Is this defensive in nature or are they making an attempt to escalate it?And what kind of enjoyment would that bring them?
Me(2w1) and my social 9 's friendship is in 3rd stage rn lol
😅
Why are all the 2's I've met really difficult people? Is it that they are mistyped ennegrams, (maybe a 4) or just unhealthy 2's? I only know one really bubbly happy-go-lucky type 2 and she's AMAZING but the rest seem aggressive, codependent, controlling and no bubbly personality at all. To clarify they are family members. Hehe
Ironic that I called these two types cousins/family members at the start of the video :) I think it always comes back to focusing on what we can control + how we're doing mentally/emotionally, as "we see the world & people not as they are, but as we are." (not my quote).
When u get too close ,u get the ugly side of ppls ig ,...2s are amazing with new ppl/acquaintances but when it comes to close relationships, then everything comes up
I adore my 9w1 girlfriend so much 🥹 good vid
🙌