I hope that Kate eventually comes to realize that fellow NDs are better resources than 99% of the medical community. When you’re apart of a minority - you realize how vital community is and how far we’ve gotten away from it. ♥️
My experience of way too many doctors leaves me feeling they are hyped up idiots. Finding one who is good at their job is bloody hard. I live in Ireland though where most people who are good at what they do leave
It made me sad that kate’s final words were “thanks for putting up with me”. 😢 Kate! You need to know how affirming and vital this interview was. I felt validated and very seen. Thank you so much. There’s a lot of grief that comes with the post-diagnosis re-running of your life. It’s very hard. Sending you much love and heartfelt thanks for your honesty ❤
I agree. Sad sign off. I often say the same thing. As another late diagnosed woman, heartfelt wishes to Kate for the journey ahead accepting the diagnosis and working with it ❤ thank you for your honesty and sharing
@@ElliotHaganOfficial it's associated currently with the extreme amount of outside negative talk, and then the internal talk that tends to be as awful as the external comments. It's very hard to turn those comments off. ❤
I got diagnosed with ADHD years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my husband which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
I'm so very happy for you, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Germany don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!
I think this woman just explained my life. So painful to have it reiterated and hear it back to me. Her life is so relatable. She articulates it well.😢
Such intelligent rigour. Such strength. Such courage. Such integrity. Well done Kate. And yes this is what so many women with ADHD unrecognised have faced.
I can so relate. I’m late diagnosed at 50, officially in February. I had no idea that being shy and day dreamy was an ADHD thing. When young ADHD wasn’t really a thing. Especially not in the Hispanic culture. So many wrecked relationships, impulsive decisions, placed myself in so many dangerous situations. Years of thinking I was broken and believing that I was lazy and not good enough. I still struggle. I medicate off and on. More off than on because who can remember. There’s a lot of grieving the life I lived and the life I could have lived.
Omg - I can totally relate to EVERYTHING you just said! It wasn’t invented yet when I was a kid is a joke I make often, (but kind of true!) and didn’t get diagnosed till my 50’s as well .,,
@@daisychain914 I believe so. Knowledge is power. If you know and understand there’s a reason your brain works the way it does, there are systems you can put in place to protect, to guide, to encourage. Which is what I have now at 50. I’m learning, studying and testing different methods. I would understand hyperfocus, dopamine, time blindness, and how to do lists and body doubling is helpful. What life could I have lived? Well I’ll never know will I. Never had the opportunity.
@@jessinaespinal8206 yes I suppose we will never know. I have goldfish brain (inattentive) so even if I make a list I’ll likely forget I’ve made it anyway. Also looking at a list doesn’t mean I’ll have the motivation to do much on it. I have so many unfinished project books, notebooks, lists etc etc Knowing about adhd hasn’t helped me yet except bring me lots of ah ha moments and beat myself up a tiny bit less. Maybe there’s a book or system out there that can help me a bit more. I’m glad you’re finding things that help :)
@@daisychain914 OMG...I relate to your most lists. My house/life is covered with hundreds of them...and has been for years. I have more notes and lists in my house than furniture. 😢😮
my ex and I had a relationship for 4 years, with a breakup at the 2 year mark, almost on the same day . I got my diagnosis before our 2 year anniversary but it wasn't enough to fix our problems. After therapy and treatment, we gave our relationship a second chance but at the 2 year mark, he broke up with me again because he couldn't deal with my ADHD. He expected me to change if I just tried and if I failed, it meant I didn't care enough about him. Now I found my ADHD tribe, people who won't judge me and understand what I'm experiencing. I related a lot to Kate's experience and how her environment treated her ADHD.
I want to know too! Where can I find an ADHD tribe? I’m thinking of starting an event, a meet and greet for ADHDers at a local coffee shop or something.
I'm 62 and was diagnosed this year. Between that and finding out that most people see pictures in their head and I don't, it's changed my entire reality. But I also realize that most of the people I click with also have ADHD symptoms or diagnoses.
OMG...I truly understand not being able to see pictures in your head, and how dang more difficult that makes your life in many ways. I knew I struggled in so many areas others did not seem to and I ran across an excellent science article just a few years ago (I'm 68 now) and that helped me to understand sooo much more about why I have repeatedly struggled all my life just getting from point A to point B...especially driving...no matter how many times I have made the trip. And I am talking simple trips in town...not extended or new destinations. And I am not stupid!!! Believe it or not...even if I constantly internally struggle with feeling I am. I forgot the name of the part in your head scientist discovered we don't have "turned on" (so to speak) in our heads. But at least finally learning that about myself helped a "little bit" with internal self incrimination. Add that to not being able to learn new info audibly...and take a guess how my internal self-talk goes!!😢 I did manage to accomplish 3 years of college with straight A's. It just took me 5 years to do it. 😢. Another long story! 😮.
@@JoSpring Clearly that person doesn't have any...OR just expects EVERYONE to do the same. Guess what (whomever you are)... We are ALL DIFFERENT! Don't expect the same result from everyone. You don't know their life or internal story!
Im 53 and can totally relate to Kate, I have struggled all my life. Due to watching one of your shorts Alex I did the preliminary ADHD test and its the first test ive ever Aced Ive wrecked every relationship and friendship ive ever had, cant hold a job down I live alone and have very few friends and self medicating is all i have until getting a full diagnosed. im doing everything i can to get on top of this but its a 3 year waiting list to be fully diagnosed.... Thank you for atleast helping me start to understand myself..... I need to get the Monkey out and Tortoise in that would be bliss
Thanks for sharing this. It's not easy and you should remind yourself that a lot of the crap isn't your fault. I'm grateful to have you here in the community! Alex
Same 53 just been diagnosed but now have to wait for triation. For months. I'm still broken. I'm not getting any advice except from these types of videos.
I'm sick of not being "normal" I'm sick of feeling like everything is hard. I'm sick of feeling like I can't cope and my mood goes up and down minute to minute. I really hoping I will get my address diagnosis and someone will give me some meds to help me. Because it would be really nice to just not feel like a fuck up.
I changed my diet to whole food plant based vegan no chemicals no fried foods no refined sugar added exercise set routines and make sure I have social activities my life is manageable and fun. Need free time and scheduled times. Regular people can go off the rails and get back on easily. ADHD people don’t cope well with that. I don’t want to take drugs. I did years ago and I wish I hadn’t. Relying on pharma is a mistake. Please have compassion for yourself and know that you have a super power when nurtured but when we get off balance a little we can fall off badly. Breathe and be kind to yourself. You know deep down you can shine with the right skills. Calm the chaos and value set routines so you can find your joy.
My favourite is when my family tell me “ You’re not as mad as you think you are “ because they only see me masking. So when I tell them what goes on in my head, they dismiss it….
I am 70 and was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. My fraternal twin does not have it. My father was upset over my poor marks and laziness. Sixty-nine years of beating myself up as a failure. Meds now help quiet my over-critical mind, and anxiety. I am happy (and envious) when people discover early in life that they have ADHD. The men in my family are on the autism scale, but can function quite well in their own field. Thank you for this interesting interview.
@@ME_Privato because deeply understanding how ADHD has impacted your entire life takes a long time as you start to pick away at surface level things, and then undercover deeper aspects of your life that have been influenced by it. There’s a lot of a-ha moments and for me even four years later these moments continue.
@@0ut0fafricaa now I understand what you mean. I'm very curious to see how it's going to be for me: I got my diagnostic of first level last November, but I didn't mind of it at first, since I didn't know what it really was. I realized that it was something kind of huge only in April and since then I started to dig deep in it. I had already many "ah ah" moments ☺️ The most impacting was realizing how not diagnosed adhd must have caused my depression since I was 17. And I'm 50. It was an overwhelming discover!
I'm having a ADHD moment!!! Diagnosed ar 48. Just hit one year this month. I got more out of this podcast than I have in a year of adhd group therapy. Fucking shook😢😮
Wow, what a great interview. I finished watching, thinking this explains me better than I could ever do. From masking, to falling apart at uni, to disastrous relationships, to watching peers overtake my apparent inability to gain traction. I was formally diagnosed at 40, and went through a period of what I can best describe as grief. Grief for past decisions and grief for being so hard on myself for these past decisions. Some of these decisions have haunted me my entire adult life, drawing attention away from and obliterating memories of some great achievements. Thank you and Kate for providing a moment of clarity through the usual cacophony of contradictory thoughts.
No diagnosis but recognse your pathway, coming out as ADHD age 63, it really hits hard. Funny that I recognise all the stages of masking, coping and now starting to fall apart; I remember falling apart at 18 too but it didn't register with anyone- especially back then. Don't worry, I'll keep going. You too! ❤ Great vlog.
It is pretty disgusting that people think it's a new trend to be neurodivergent. I hate that because having add or ADHD or autism or both can be hell on earth at times. I see it in my kids and I have it and I see it in a friend who's absolutely battling to stay above water. So anyone who sees it as a trend should try living in my brain for just a day .
I’m 53 and am grappling with the grief and loss of years spent feeling like an abject failure. The negative looping internal dialogue was crippling. I agree that childhood trauma and ADHD is a clusterfuck. I am a survivor as we all are survivors, but man; so hard. I’ve carved a life for myself that is a good one. But letting go of my “potential”, being considered a “gifted” child, then diagnosed by an eminent psychotherapist as a “classic underachiever” to my parents who systematically called me lazy, a disappointment and eventually scapegoated. I am now estranged from my family, live alone and have difficult relationships with my adult daughters, one of which is on the spectrum. The fact that women historically were so underdiagnosed meant that I was completely blind to ND in my own family. Now I look at my family tree aghast at the amount of ND in it. I’ve become acutely aware of the symptoms that I live with every day. Lack of spacial awareness, the need for deadlines, the procrastination and self medication. My ADHD friend, who is brilliant but very troubled, says ADHD is a superpower….but he’s struggling with drug addiction and impulsive behaviour that keeps him trapped in a cycle he doesn’t seem to see. I’m now a painter, something I’ve tried to be all my life. Despite being told I was talented I was also told that I would never be able to make a living as a creative. I still don’t make a living but I’ve managed to own my home and work casually and paint. So maybe one day I can sell my art well and do more than just get by. Despite the procrastination, social anxiety and self doubt. I think we’ve all learnt to just keep on keeping on. I gave up drinking early this year and that’s helped me to make some changes. I still fall off the wagon occasionally but I’m no longer hating myself for it. Btw I used to be a massive crisp fan but now I’m low carbing so nuts are my go to….monch monch monch!
Please please explore the possible connection between ADHD and difficulties learning a foreign language in a future episode. I have found very little about this topic online but my ears pricked up when Kate said she has had similar issues and have heard others struggle too. Not being fluent in Spanish but living in Spain is probably my biggest shame, and something I can't seem to improve on, despite now years of trying. Others don't understand it, but I can't seem to retain what I have "learnt". If anyone reading has any tips or words of wisdom, I'd greatly appreciate them!
I stuggled with traditional classroom learning Spanish. Two years in high school and two in college. Nothing clicked. I'm on a 400 day streak on Duolingo. Amazing app that makes learning language like playing a game with lots of little dopamine rewards. Try it out #notsponsored
Just touching on the question you asked Kate about what was written on her school reports to give some insite to male listeners. I do actually have mine, they were all on the lines of 'very disorganised, polite, seems distracted, often deep in thought, a daydreamer, lack of confidence'. Hope this helps.
I feel like a younger version of Kate, I was diagnosed at 29 (last year). And I see so much of what she is saying in my narrative. Thanks Kate for speaking so early on in your diagnosis. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it so it has been really beneficial hearing this.
I'm so sorry that Kate is having that pushback from her family. I'm only 9 months diagnosed and I'm 56. My mother, who is 84, has been very supportive and as we've both learned so much more about the condition, she's definitely recognised several of the traits in herself and although she has many fewer than me, we've both got closer due to understanding where many of our struggles when I was young came from
You are literally explaining my life except i never had the confidence to follow the Carrer I wanted. I was finally diagnosed at 53 i should get my medication in the next 7 months. I just listen to your story and want to cry. For every missed opportunity. For all the lost years.
I feel like it is becoming more and more prevalent because of the fast-paced way of our life and all of the technology and access to so much information at our fingertips. I feel that our bodies were not designed to be so fast-paced and our brains are short-circuiting because everything is just so overwhelming!
Possibly although in terms of evolution, the adhd groups are more well fed. It's stuff we take for granted now but it can make a difference in the survival of the individuals or the whole group.
Just been diagnosed at 59. I am now on Concerta and in therapy. I can relate so much with Kate!!! We Gen X women with ADHD are a lost generation. We did not get noticed and diagnosed until either it’s too late or we could not put up with ourselves anymore. I feel I am one of the lucky ones but that does not mean my life was easy. I managed to have (somehow) a successful career, I have dear friends who love me for who I am (one of them when I told about my ADHA went: « Duh!!!! » :-) ), my family supports me. But I never could manage to have a long term relationship until a few years ago. The cycle of oxytocin ups and downs would make my boyfriends go away or I would make them go away. I now understand why. I was always told that I was « too much » or « not enough ». My so-called weird behaviors also made it awkward with many acquaintances. Some poeple just hate me and think I am crazy or (again) « too much » to handle. I also know why everything I do requires so much energy that I collapse at times and need to relax, yet I don’t relax because I feel guilty doing it. It’s not easy. I am just at the beginning of my journey now that I know I have ADHD. I applaud Kate for being so honest. I wish her well.
I'm 52 and I am sure I have ADHD. Everything Kate says resonates... and lots of books and videos I have seen... I aleays thought it was weird how I could drink coffee late at night and still sleep OK, now if I wake up in the night I will make a coffee because it helps me sleep.... I live in South America so finding it hard to find a way to get a diagnosis. Thanks Kate for this interview, really resonated with me.
Fantastic interview, so relatable. Low level alcohol/narcotics use, failure to ever really make money, compounding condition shifts such as menopause. Thankyou.
Oh, and crisps. I didn't know that was a thing, but yeah, that's defintely a thing. Interesting to know that it's the crunch that's at the heart of it. Unhealthy me will mainline a large sharing bag of crisps a day. Healthy me buys carrots and celery and makes hummus. Just never put it together before.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I so want to give you a hug and tell you it's going to be OK. When I got diagnosed last year it was such a hard adjustment and I felt like so many of the ways you're describing. A year on and if come to terms with the diagnosis and gotten closer to a place of acceptance. Those negative thought spirals have lessened and that chorus of self hating voices have finally quieted. I didn't even know it was possible. Please hold on. It will get better.
I think for me, I need to percolate ideas but when it ticks over into what I think of as procrastination the self judgement chat just like crashes down like a portcullis. This discussion helped me understand that a bit better 💚
It IS a consumer decision and it is a class thing - I'm in middle life and anyone I know who is "professional" (ie wealthy) is going private and getting meds, anyone else gets to be lazy messy low achieving addict. Could be worse tho, could be lazy messy addict in prison or in massive debt
I was diagnosed at 38, i'm 43 now, still trying to unpack and understand all the craziness that my life has been. Giving up alcohol has given me the most peace, along with walking away from unhealthy friendships, it's helped to see things more clearly.
Kate you are awesome ❤❤❤ Thank you for being so honest! Everything you said I am going through as well. I am in my 40s and not diagnosed only diagnosed with anxiety disorder but I know I have ADD.
I am going down this route of self awareness and self understanding now at 49. Kate interviewed me at work for an article about 25 years ago and it stuck in my head as a really weird interaction…..suddenly it’s all making sense!!! 😂
She is a wonderful, honest interview. She should try being alone. A huge success even with ADHD. I am grateful to not be in prison or living on the street as a self medicating addict.
I’m 40 and I’m so glad my peer group were more accepting than this. Only 15 years apart and so much change in opinion. I relate with almost everything but so glad was less friction for me.
@katespicer276. Kate - thanks for doing this interview. I've always watched u as years ago I loosely knew one of yr relatives. Due to that link I wud notice yr name & read yr articles. I was diagnosed last summer after 2 years waiting on referral list as problems occurred not of my doing making delays unavoidable. I was then diagnosed Autistic in December. I'm a few years older than u. . I've just been dismissed from my job because they don't want to make adjustments 4 my new diagnosis of Audhd. Obviously this makes me feel doubly shamed as I've felt shamed by them since I told them about my initial referral. So now I'm managing massive changes & financial instability, only a few weeks after being released from hospital (after a week there because the constant stress affected my body where I nearly died if sepsis). Hopefully as one stressful door closes, other doors will open. I would like to be respected & appreciated for me - with my neurodiversity. If u had doubts about doing this interview, please be reassured u have done the right thing. This interview not so 'coincidentally' popped up in my feed. I can see so many others in the comments section stating they have valued this interview & wish to thank you both for doing it. I adored crisps and ate 2 packets a day at times. Since being hospitalised I can only eat low fat crisps and I have half a packet a day now. They were a comfort food dopamine hit b 4, for sure. I've subbed to u. Bravo Kate. X.
I really wish she had given her opinions about ADHD being a pathologising of personality. It would be great to have her on again in a few months' time. She's great to listen to.
Do you mean that it's not adhd but just a personality disorder that has not been discovered yet ? Really? Very interesting . If this is true where can I find more infos about it ?
@@deliobaoduzzi6450 no. If you hear someone say that adhd is just “pathologising personality” what they’re saying is they think it’s not a real disorder, just a personality type that has been labeled one. Does that make sense? A lot of people think this. Doesn’t mean it’s true, it’s just an opinion. I think there is some merit to it but it’s more complex than that.
Thank you for this interview! I resonated with everything Kate said. Everything fell apart for me during college as well and I've spent my life wondering why I couldn't get it together and why I was successful but not as successful as I could be. I would blame myself. There's a lot of shame when you have ADHD. And the cocktail of menopause & ADHD is brutal.
wow, I can relate to so much of what has been said, but i have never thought of myself as having ADHD because Im not hyperactive, if anything i spend so much time incredibly tired. I completely resonate with the negative self talk, the 2 year relationships that go from almost obsessive to disinterested. Career wise i have always been a perfectonist and over achiever but I would work myself into burn out and still try to seek validation even when i was treated badly. I dont have family relationships and until recently because i was a military brat, i didnt really have true friends I could trust, I tended to do whatever i needed to do to fit in but i never really did. I still dont know if my experience is ADHD, Autism, CPTSD or a mixture of all of them and getting help is almost impossible. Add Perimenopause and hormone fluxuations on top and life is fucking hard...
Regarding her story about realizing she wasn't normal when she identified with everything a depressed friend told her. I dropped out of university when I was around 21, then went back to school to get my bachelors at 31, started a PhD at 34. I was telling an acquantaince what I did and she responded, "Oh I always wanted to be an academic, but I have ADHD so I could never do it." I thought to myself, well I have ADHD...does that explain why it was so monumentally difficult for me? Like this person said it was too difficult to even think about so she just never tried and I pushed myself so hard to get through. It's hard for me to appreciate how hard I worked, and often thought to myself I'm just not cut out for this. I was diagnosed at 5 years old, in the early 90s, and it just was part of me for so long some times I forget that I have it. I stopped medication as a teenager because my parents let me choose. Listening to ADHD stories now, it's like, oh yeah, I have this thing...
Crying, like I've been let out of a cage, happy I'm free but realizing how much ive missed by being in the cage. This was like looking in a mirror. When you hear your thoughts outside your own head, it makes me feel more real, like I'm not a ghost. Thank you Kate, you have helped me.
I am also in my mid 50's and was diagnosed two years ago.....I can relate so much to what Kate is saying, all I can say is thank god for the late diagnosis, saved my life.
I’m in my 70s, recently found out that I have off the charts adhd and also an explanation for the crazy chaos that has been 7 decades of life. I suspect my mother is on the spectrum somewhere, she’s 94 and disowned me for quite a few years. My son is diagnosed inattentive . It takes quite a while to come to terms with it, lots of grief, anger, but eventually some acceptance and peace. I don’t take meds, have had therapy and coaching which was hugely helpful. The negative chatter and ER has been easier to deal with. I don’t try to hide it, actually have a badge that says neurospicy…I get younger people grinning and saying me too, which is lovely. Ps I had the two year relationship thing too. Over and over 😕
Even mild disapproval, creating a feeling of being not quite good enough, can be disabling, and trigger a level of super ADHD. And that creates the fear of future criticism and RSD and perfectionism and procrastination.
This has just blown me apart. My 14 year old son is undergoing analysis for ADHD and I’ve consequently been listening and reading about it. This woman is describing my life in a nutshell. I’m 58 soon and most of my life has been wasted.
Kate I can totally relate :D I'm 53 with no diagnosis but i think ADHD with the childhood lack of love and support and instead becoming the scapegoat. I agree that the adhd brain + childhood troubles = a bigger problem. I haven't achieved much, the 1st year of 2 different degrees - 10 years apart. Anyway I feel not so alone in my experience. Apologies for this terrible writing!! hahaa in a hurry can't find the words! Loved this chat - be well lovely people xx
@pipwhitefeather Since ADHD is around 70% heritable, there is a very high likelihood that many of us had parents with undiagnosed ADHD. I am sure my own mother has it and she is also a covert narcissist. I vowed that I would be nothing like her. It does traumatise. I too, was the scapegoat. I’ve turned my life around. Had a diagnosis in my 50s and manage the ADHD with diet, exercise and avoiding stress (downshifted job). One of my sons has it, but having had a loving, nurturing childhood, he is very successful, and has been with his fiancée 13 years. I think a nurturing, happy childhood is what makes a massive difference.
@@gilly5094 yes I've considered this. I believe my maternal grandmother was ADHD, and OCD. Her family didn't know how to deal with her and she would be sent to the basement to scrub the cellar floor - often. In old age she kept an immaculate home and when she was a mother she wouldn't let her kids brush their teeth in the bathroom because of mess - they did it in the kitchen. She wasn't a loving grandmother and my Aquarian mother was equally unemotional but she does care. It's my siblings that I struggle with and their judgments of my life. My step father was also emotionally challenged and ruled 'by fear'. He was a bully really. Wow blah blah blah... who cares eh? I'm still rockin' this crazy life...30% anyway...hahaha sorry on my second glass of wine...happy Tuesday folks!
Thank you Kate for opening up so honestly about things in your life. I recognises those types of struggles… especially in academia…i’d have accomplished….not very much without an imperative deadline. But its a killer each time. The light bulb of hearing others discuss ADHD through their lived experience is so helpful… I wouldn’t have given it a second thought without these discussions. Its helped me understand things. I share that thought of ‘well what do I do now’ and is knowledge of it practically useful when you only hear about it so late in life. Its been a bit of an invisible enemy thats pulled me away from what I knew was right in favour of any distraction even when I’ve known what I should have been doing. All I know is that this channel helps enormously. Thank you Alex and for everyone who contributes to this channel!
A huge thank you to Kate for sharing. I'm about 3 years post-diagnosis, not much younger than Kate, and I was on the verge of tears through most of the video because of how deeply relatable she is.
I’m 43 and recently diagnosed with ADHD. When I was 20, I jumped off a cliff too!! OMG that’s crazy. Kate, thank you for opening up and sharing your story. I am eager to read your work! ❤
Really appreciated Kate Spicer's sharing. I'm 52, and over the past year, I first found out I was autistic and more recently have been formally diagnosed with ADHD as well. I recognized so many pieces of my own life in her story. I'm now prescribed stimulants, as well, and that's been a revelation. I had no idea how much chatter I was dealing with or that it wasn't "normal". Great interview. Thanks.
54, yo, recently officially ish diagnosed. I have noticed that we tend to downplay our successes, as we focus on the negative thoughts and our perceptions of ourselves. You are all enough. 💜
TY for sharing your story! I’m amazed you had a career without prescription medication; I’ve returned to college after over a decade only due to my stimulants. Dr K has a VOD the reason stimulants do work for hyperactivity is because it’ll elevate the executive functions so you can focus and pick what to do. The pandemic brought a brutal shortage of ADHD medicine as so many got diagnosed in USA. If anyone has similar issues mentioned seek at least 2 Doc’s to be assessed, it took 4 doctors for my diagnosis. All of the stigma she mentions are all so prevalent, maybe even the host?
So glad I stumbled on this - so many parallels! Made me tear up to hear Kate describe the cacophony of internal voices and see the effect over the years. I also just assumed everyone was like this - what a shock to discover that no, this is anomalous and it’s the reason for some of my best and worst experiences.
Intermittent psilocybin stacks through winter with sun lamps and vitamins and supplements helped me MASSIVELY with the chatter and depression. Finding coping mechanisms and safeguarding ourselves against the reality of typicals narrative is important. The shame spiralling is constant and unless you construct armour and boundaries we are raw targets. Diagnosis is validation for the lifetime of utter BS we are drowning in.
I can't count the amount of time in my life from a child to an adult the time I've heard, "You are smart, just lazy. You refuse to try. " and "You're just not trying." Now I catch myself saying that to my kids and have to backtrack regularly. My inner voice is still constantly saying these things to myself.
Oooh! Procrastination is part of MY process too! 😂 Fabulous interview. Kate is so relatable 😊 (70 year old former freelance journo with a lot of other congruencies)
@@MichaelClarke75procrastination is definitely an ADHD symptom. For me it’s the by far the most cripplingly worst symptom, as it’s filled with shame and an inability to commit to starting or finishing things for fear of either not being able to meet your own (often ridiculously high) expectations, or to avoid feeling Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, which is incredibly painful. Procrastination has cost me so much in my career and in my personal life and now I know I have ADHD (diagnosed last year at 52), I can be more compassionate to myself -which is far from easy, as I’ve spent my whole life being told I’m lazy and not good enough and believing it. So yeah, procrastination is 100% a symptom.
@@MichaelClarke75also, please remember that each person’s experience of adhd is unique. As the saying goes, “once you’ve met one person with ADHD, you’ve met one person with ADHD”.
This was such an enjoyable conversation!! I never knew Kate Spicer is ADHD and possibly autistic 😅 I was drawn to her articles as a young woman, no wonder why! She's mad in the best way possible and she should never change that for nobody! I look forward to more of these brilliant, insightful and honest conversations ☺️
Was really absorbed in your 'trauma narrative' and then saw your TRAINERS and am now 💯% distracted 😅 Lovely interview thank you, (self) diagnosing AUDHD in my fifties, esp after an occupational psychologist called the ADHD.... Need to find the flip side... I see this interview was six years ago and hope you're both doing really well, maybe an update? 😊 Is a two year honeymoon period with a company you work for also normal with oxytocin and ADHD? Same for me re the children. Was always anxious about perpetuating the chaos and coping with the tiredness and organisation of it, plus the boredom aspects of eg 'going back to school' through your children. Some really fascinating self awareness. Shame before and after diagnosis. People around can often sympathise with the diagnosis but not live/ work with its chaotic aspects.... 🤔
Thank you so much, what a breath of fresh air to listen to you both here…i was diagnosed last November at 51…such a mixture of relief and grief too for so many ‘nearly successes’! No children either…but i learned from listening to you about why my relationships have only lasted 2 years!!! I have a cat now and a lot happier to focus on him!! ….fingers crossed for more than 2 years though 😉
Thank you so much for doing this interview Kate, i had a few omg moments, recognising past relationship patterns, negative self talk, eating issues. I still get hungry hippo in my head everytime I feel hungry and a failure narrative. I haven't been formally diagnosed, but my youngest son has been and has autism as well and it's on both sides of my biological family.
This interview has convinced me I need to pursue getting tested of ADHD and ASD. I have suspected for years I am dealing with probably both, or at least one.
This is awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!! I felt like Beyoncé in Lemonade for years-silenced myself, screamed, jumped, moved, danced, stood still (not long!), swam, walked, starved, glutted, drank, smoked, finally dove into meditation, past life regression, chakra cleansing, and tarot all trying to fix myself. The spiritual stuff finally brought self acceptance and now a deep dive into neurodivergence ✨🙏🏽❤️ My sister is ADHD and we’re very different, so I just figured I’m a fug up. This is all prob TMI but it’s really really nice to know I/you are not alone.
HRT has helped SO VERY MUCH. It has calmed my symptoms to totally liveable levels. WARNING: progesterone taken orally can trigger suicidal/depressive states in ADHD women. Get an IUD with progesterone.
My mind is blown about the relationship part! I’m happily married (and medicated) now, but from age 15-30 most of my relationships lasted for two years. I even noticed the two-year pattern but didn’t know why until just now!
I'm barely half way through and this is hitting home. I'm in my early 40s and I just recently had a therapist tell me I have it. I'm learning to really tell myself that I've done great going through life without a diagnosis. You are amazing Kate!
I so totally relate, yikes! I'm new in all this as my daughter recently got diagnosed. Back in my day, adhd was boys running around in circles and creating chaos therefore I couldn't relate. I do now, big time and feel very ripped off . My life could have been so different if I had been properly diagnosed. Think it's unfortunately all a bit late for me but so glad this is finally getting noticed and talked about
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@@AnaSolano190 I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
my god the amount of the conversation, that kate speaks about makes so much sense for most of my life my first ever relationship lasted 2 years!! i’m adhd and autistic big love Kate
I found out that I have ADHD through my own research, because I knew something was off with me. I finally got my diagnosis at 47. Within one year I was able to get things done, that I was never capable off. But then I wanted to switch doctors, because of a really nasty incident with the consultation help at my doctor's office. I have not been able to find a new doctor that can prescribe my medicine, since then. It has been 6 months and my life is falling apart. It is incredibly frustrating knowing how my life could be, but being denied the help that I need. Even my health insurance is telling me, that's just the way it is, because there are too many patients and not enough doctors that can prescribe the medication. I live in Germany
I've never watched something so relatable. Literally every point. Doom spiralling in particular. I call it the upward spiral or the downward spiral and it's exactly what Kate described. Just recently diagnosed myself.
This could have been my interview! Still undiagnosed at 46 but I now understand why I behaved the way I did up until recently - now I manage my brain a lot better (but it’s still a struggle!)
I was diagnosed when I was 35 - whenever I tell anyone, their reaction is "Oh I think I have a bit of ADHD" I kind of laugh, but it's an angry laugh - I cannot maintain friendships, jobs, income, intimate relationships and I am deeply saddened by that. Lots of love kate x
U and me both sister…just turned 49. As a lil girl I can rem praying every night that God would take away my heart. (As all lil tykes, I thought love and caring came from there) My heart still breaks for that lil girl. 🕊️
I hope that Kate eventually comes to realize that fellow NDs are better resources than 99% of the medical community. When you’re apart of a minority - you realize how vital community is and how far we’ve gotten away from it.
♥️
Y.
Although listening to her I'm left wondering who is "normal", I think we might be in the majority but just don't connect enough.
My experience of way too many doctors leaves me feeling they are hyped up idiots. Finding one who is good at their job is bloody hard. I live in Ireland though where most people who are good at what they do leave
@@souxcasa I'm in the US and have mostly bad luck with doctors. But our medical system is just designed that way.
@@theorganizedplaylist8956and it’s inaccessible because of the expense…
It made me sad that kate’s final words were “thanks for putting up with me”. 😢 Kate! You need to know how affirming and vital this interview was. I felt validated and very seen. Thank you so much. There’s a lot of grief that comes with the post-diagnosis re-running of your life. It’s very hard. Sending you much love and heartfelt thanks for your honesty ❤
I agree. Sad sign off. I often say the same thing. As another late diagnosed woman, heartfelt wishes to Kate for the journey ahead accepting the diagnosis and working with it ❤ thank you for your honesty and sharing
Why does she feel she's being judged
Why can't she just see herself as any other human being
@@ElliotHaganOfficial it's associated currently with the extreme amount of outside negative talk, and then the internal talk that tends to be as awful as the external comments. It's very hard to turn those comments off. ❤
I say that too! Thanks for putting up with me. I’m going to change that….
I got diagnosed with ADHD years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my husband which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
I'm so very happy for you, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Germany don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES very sure of Mr.medmushies
Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
I think this woman just explained my life. So painful to have it reiterated and hear it back to me. Her life is so relatable. She articulates it well.😢
Same. 100% the same
Indeed
Except I was that person in the gutter
Such intelligent rigour. Such strength. Such courage. Such integrity. Well done Kate. And yes this is what so many women with ADHD unrecognised have faced.
I'm applauding you Kate! Please applaud yourself!
She's great, isn't she!
@@ADHD_Chatter_Podcastshe’s a F wit
@@ADHD_Chatter_Podcastthe world doesn’t need more adhd fame whores
I can so relate. I’m late diagnosed at 50, officially in February. I had no idea that being shy and day dreamy was an ADHD thing. When young ADHD wasn’t really a thing. Especially not in the Hispanic culture. So many wrecked relationships, impulsive decisions, placed myself in so many dangerous situations. Years of thinking I was broken and believing that I was lazy and not good enough. I still struggle. I medicate off and on. More off than on because who can remember. There’s a lot of grieving the life I lived and the life I could have lived.
Omg - I can totally relate to EVERYTHING you just said! It wasn’t invented yet when I was a kid is a joke I make often, (but kind of true!) and didn’t get diagnosed till my 50’s as well .,,
But what life could you have lived? I mean does knowing you have ADHD change all the broken relationships, unemployment, depression, anxiety etc?
@@daisychain914 I believe so. Knowledge is power. If you know and understand there’s a reason your brain works the way it does, there are systems you can put in place to protect, to guide, to encourage. Which is what I have now at 50. I’m learning, studying and testing different methods. I would understand hyperfocus, dopamine, time blindness, and how to do lists and body doubling is helpful. What life could I have lived? Well I’ll never know will I. Never had the opportunity.
@@jessinaespinal8206 yes I suppose we will never know. I have goldfish brain (inattentive) so even if I make a list I’ll likely forget I’ve made it anyway. Also looking at a list doesn’t mean I’ll have the motivation to do much on it. I have so many unfinished project books, notebooks, lists etc etc
Knowing about adhd hasn’t helped me yet except bring me lots of ah ha moments and beat myself up a tiny bit less.
Maybe there’s a book or system out there that can help me a bit more. I’m glad you’re finding things that help :)
@@daisychain914 OMG...I relate to your most lists. My house/life is covered with hundreds of them...and has been for years. I have more notes and lists in my house than furniture.
😢😮
my ex and I had a relationship for 4 years, with a breakup at the 2 year mark, almost on the same day . I got my diagnosis before our 2 year anniversary but it wasn't enough to fix our problems. After therapy and treatment, we gave our relationship a second chance but at the 2 year mark, he broke up with me again because he couldn't deal with my ADHD. He expected me to change if I just tried and if I failed, it meant I didn't care enough about him. Now I found my ADHD tribe, people who won't judge me and understand what I'm experiencing. I related a lot to Kate's experience and how her environment treated her ADHD.
Don't change yourself for anyone ❤ I'm so grateful to have you here in the community Nikky! Alex
How do you find an ADHD tribe?
I want to know too! Where can I find an ADHD tribe? I’m thinking of starting an event, a meet and greet for ADHDers at a local coffee shop or something.
I hope i find the way to give it UP and feel better with myself❤
@@goingsolointhegardenLike this!!!
I'm 62 and was diagnosed this year. Between that and finding out that most people see pictures in their head and I don't, it's changed my entire reality. But I also realize that most of the people I click with also have ADHD symptoms or diagnoses.
Scammer
@@DisabilitysAREabilities huh? 🤔
OMG...I truly understand not being able to see pictures in your head, and how dang more difficult that makes your life in many ways. I knew I struggled in so many areas others did not seem to and I ran across an excellent science article just a few years ago (I'm 68 now) and that helped me to understand sooo much more about why I have repeatedly struggled all my life just getting from point A to point B...especially driving...no matter how many times I have made the trip. And I am talking simple trips in town...not extended or new destinations. And I am not stupid!!! Believe it or not...even if I constantly internally struggle with feeling I am. I forgot the name of the part in your head scientist discovered we don't have "turned on" (so to speak) in our heads. But at least finally learning that about myself helped a "little bit" with internal self incrimination. Add that to not being able to learn new info audibly...and take a guess how my internal self-talk goes!!😢
I did manage to accomplish 3 years of college with straight A's. It just took me 5 years to do it. 😢. Another long story! 😮.
@@JoSpring Clearly that person doesn't have any...OR just expects EVERYONE to do the same.
Guess what (whomever you are)... We are ALL DIFFERENT! Don't expect the same result from everyone. You don't know their life or internal story!
Im 53 and can totally relate to Kate, I have struggled all my life. Due to watching one of your shorts Alex I did the preliminary ADHD test and its the first test ive ever Aced Ive wrecked every relationship and friendship ive ever had, cant hold a job down I live alone and have very few friends and self medicating is all i have until getting a full diagnosed. im doing everything i can to get on top of this but its a 3 year waiting list to be fully diagnosed.... Thank you for atleast helping me start to understand myself..... I need to get the Monkey out and Tortoise in that would be bliss
Thanks for sharing this. It's not easy and you should remind yourself that a lot of the crap isn't your fault. I'm grateful to have you here in the community! Alex
Really really get you , same here, I'm 52 ❤️🙏🏼✨
Omg - SAME. Its been a challenging life! Didn’t get diagnosed till 52! What a nightmare - it wasn’t “invented” yet when I was a kid lol
Same 53 just been diagnosed but now have to wait for triation. For months. I'm still broken. I'm not getting any advice except from these types of videos.
Same at 55
Diagnosed at 36... I'm so sorry for have being so cruel to myself all this time.
I feel this so hard. 😕
40 here and re diagnosed as well. I agree.
I'm 36. Been struggling my whole life aswell.
I'm sick of not being "normal" I'm sick of feeling like everything is hard. I'm sick of feeling like I can't cope and my mood goes up and down minute to minute. I really hoping I will get my address diagnosis and someone will give me some meds to help me. Because it would be really nice to just not feel like a fuck up.
I changed my diet to whole food plant based vegan no chemicals no fried foods no refined sugar added exercise set routines and make sure I have social activities my life is manageable and fun. Need free time and scheduled times. Regular people can go off the rails and get back on easily. ADHD people don’t cope well with that. I don’t want to take drugs. I did years ago and I wish I hadn’t. Relying on pharma is a mistake. Please have compassion for yourself and know that you have a super power when nurtured but when we get off balance a little we can fall off badly. Breathe and be kind to yourself. You know deep down you can shine with the right skills. Calm the chaos and value set routines so you can find your joy.
Whinging baby
I hear you. Honestly, I feel the exact same. Seriously so utterly fed up of being “useless “.
My favourite is when my family tell me “ You’re not as mad as you think you are “ because they only see me masking. So when I tell them what goes on in my head, they dismiss it….
I'm almost 48 and was diagnosed with ADHD yesterday and things are finally starting to make sense.
I am 70 and was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. My fraternal twin does not have it. My father was upset over my poor marks and laziness. Sixty-nine years of beating myself up as a failure. Meds now help quiet my over-critical mind, and anxiety. I am happy (and envious) when people discover early in life that they have ADHD. The men in my family are on the autism scale, but can function quite well in their own field. Thank you for this interesting interview.
Give it another 18 months and that’s when the real clarity hits.
@@0ut0fafricaawhy do you say so?
@@ME_Privato because deeply understanding how ADHD has impacted your entire life takes a long time as you start to pick away at surface level things, and then undercover deeper aspects of your life that have been influenced by it. There’s a lot of a-ha moments and for me even four years later these moments continue.
@@0ut0fafricaa now I understand what you mean. I'm very curious to see how it's going to be for me: I got my diagnostic of first level last November, but I didn't mind of it at first, since I didn't know what it really was. I realized that it was something kind of huge only in April and since then I started to dig deep in it. I had already many "ah ah" moments ☺️ The most impacting was realizing how not diagnosed adhd must have caused my depression since I was 17. And I'm 50. It was an overwhelming discover!
I'm having a ADHD moment!!! Diagnosed ar 48. Just hit one year this month. I got more out of this podcast than I have in a year of adhd group therapy. Fucking shook😢😮
Yup... me too
45ish for me. Now, I am 48 and I am having the extra special addition of peri-menopause. Best of luck to you!
Y I get a lot out of listening to others with adhd.
Scsmmer
Scammerwhinging baby
Wow, what a great interview. I finished watching, thinking this explains me better than I could ever do. From masking, to falling apart at uni, to disastrous relationships, to watching peers overtake my apparent inability to gain traction. I was formally diagnosed at 40, and went through a period of what I can best describe as grief. Grief for past decisions and grief for being so hard on myself for these past decisions. Some of these decisions have haunted me my entire adult life, drawing attention away from and obliterating memories of some great achievements. Thank you and Kate for providing a moment of clarity through the usual cacophony of contradictory thoughts.
No diagnosis but recognse your pathway, coming out as ADHD age 63, it really hits hard.
Funny that I recognise all the stages of masking, coping and now starting to fall apart; I remember falling apart at 18 too but it didn't register with anyone- especially back then.
Don't worry, I'll keep going.
You too! ❤
Great vlog.
It is pretty disgusting that people think it's a new trend to be neurodivergent. I hate that because having add or ADHD or autism or both can be hell on earth at times. I see it in my kids and I have it and I see it in a friend who's absolutely battling to stay above water. So anyone who sees it as a trend should try living in my brain for just a day .
I’m 53 and am grappling with the grief and loss of years spent feeling like an abject failure.
The negative looping internal dialogue was crippling. I agree that childhood trauma and ADHD is a clusterfuck. I am a survivor as we all are survivors, but man; so hard.
I’ve carved a life for myself that is a good one. But letting go of my “potential”, being considered a “gifted” child, then diagnosed by an eminent psychotherapist as a “classic underachiever” to my parents who systematically called me lazy, a disappointment and eventually scapegoated.
I am now estranged from my family, live alone and have difficult relationships with my adult daughters, one of which is on the spectrum. The fact that women historically were so underdiagnosed meant that I was completely blind to ND in my own family. Now I look at my family tree aghast at the amount of ND in it.
I’ve become acutely aware of the symptoms that I live with every day. Lack of spacial awareness, the need for deadlines, the procrastination and self medication.
My ADHD friend, who is brilliant but very troubled, says ADHD is a superpower….but he’s struggling with drug addiction and impulsive behaviour that keeps him trapped in a cycle he doesn’t seem to see.
I’m now a painter, something I’ve tried to be all my life. Despite being told I was talented I was also told that I would never be able to make a living as a creative. I still don’t make a living but I’ve managed to own my home and work casually and paint. So maybe one day I can sell my art well and do more than just get by. Despite the procrastination, social anxiety and self doubt.
I think we’ve all learnt to just keep on keeping on. I gave up drinking early this year and that’s helped me to make some changes. I still fall off the wagon occasionally but I’m no longer hating myself for it.
Btw I used to be a massive crisp fan but now I’m low carbing so nuts are my go to….monch monch monch!
Good advice, ty!
Your story is very close to mine. Look into kudzu root for the alcohol.
Thanks for sharing! I can relate to this a lot ❤
Loooove this comment. Relate to so much to all of it ❤️
Please please explore the possible connection between ADHD and difficulties learning a foreign language in a future episode. I have found very little about this topic online but my ears pricked up when Kate said she has had similar issues and have heard others struggle too. Not being fluent in Spanish but living in Spain is probably my biggest shame, and something I can't seem to improve on, despite now years of trying. Others don't understand it, but I can't seem to retain what I have "learnt". If anyone reading has any tips or words of wisdom, I'd greatly appreciate them!
I stuggled with traditional classroom learning Spanish. Two years in high school and two in college. Nothing clicked. I'm on a 400 day streak on Duolingo. Amazing app that makes learning language like playing a game with lots of little dopamine rewards. Try it out #notsponsored
Just touching on the question you asked Kate about what was written on her school reports to give some insite to male listeners. I do actually have mine, they were all on the lines of 'very disorganised, polite, seems distracted, often deep in thought, a daydreamer, lack of confidence'. Hope this helps.
What a beautiful and vulnerable interview. How brave she was to bear her soul without filter. I have never felt so seen.
I feel like a younger version of Kate, I was diagnosed at 29 (last year). And I see so much of what she is saying in my narrative. Thanks Kate for speaking so early on in your diagnosis. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it so it has been really beneficial hearing this.
I eat with small spoons and scoop stuff out with big spoons. But I also have twice as many small spoons in my silver set so that's helpful ☺️
This is the best interview I have heard on ADHD so far.. Thank you Kate, for your candour. I'm in awe of the way you can articulate your experience.
“Baggy of Oxytocin” - brilliant Kate. I need to write you a letter of heartfelt thanks for this. ❤xx
I'm so sorry that Kate is having that pushback from her family. I'm only 9 months diagnosed and I'm 56. My mother, who is 84, has been very supportive and as we've both learned so much more about the condition, she's definitely recognised several of the traits in herself and although she has many fewer than me, we've both got closer due to understanding where many of our struggles when I was young came from
You are literally explaining my life except i never had the confidence to follow the Carrer I wanted. I was finally diagnosed at 53 i should get my medication in the next 7 months. I just listen to your story and want to cry. For every missed opportunity. For all the lost years.
AMEN!!!
53 year old ADHD female here. Apologies in advance for the unrequested advice....but
boyfriend has to go. X
Agree with that, boyfriend's gotta go!
Hard agree 👍🏽
This.
I feel like it is becoming more and more prevalent because of the fast-paced way of our life and all of the technology and access to so much information at our fingertips. I feel that our bodies were not designed to be so fast-paced and our brains are short-circuiting because everything is just so overwhelming!
Nope, I was born like this. We only got tv when I was about eight or nine years old.
I don’t think so, since I’ve always been this way and I’m quite old. It was no different back when I was a child and the pace of life was much slower.
Possibly although in terms of evolution, the adhd groups are more well fed. It's stuff we take for granted now but it can make a difference in the survival of the individuals or the whole group.
Nah normies wanting our meds😂
Nope. ADHD since day one. My daughter also.
I feel exactly like this, it makes so emotional listening to you. Last year l realised l have adhd at 59
❤❤Same here. At 60. Go well, random stranger on the Internet, who touches my heart too..
Just been diagnosed at 59. I am now on Concerta and in therapy. I can relate so much with Kate!!! We Gen X women with ADHD are a lost generation. We did not get noticed and diagnosed until either it’s too late or we could not put up with ourselves anymore. I feel I am one of the lucky ones but that does not mean my life was easy. I managed to have (somehow) a successful career, I have dear friends who love me for who I am (one of them when I told about my ADHA went: « Duh!!!! » :-) ), my family supports me. But I never could manage to have a long term relationship until a few years ago. The cycle of oxytocin ups and downs would make my boyfriends go away or I would make them go away. I now understand why. I was always told that I was « too much » or « not enough ». My so-called weird behaviors also made it awkward with many acquaintances. Some poeple just hate me and think I am crazy or (again) « too much » to handle. I also know why everything I do requires so much energy that I collapse at times and need to relax, yet I don’t relax because I feel guilty doing it. It’s not easy. I am just at the beginning of my journey now that I know I have ADHD. I applaud Kate for being so honest. I wish her well.
I'm 52 and I am sure I have ADHD. Everything Kate says resonates... and lots of books and videos I have seen... I aleays thought it was weird how I could drink coffee late at night and still sleep OK, now if I wake up in the night I will make a coffee because it helps me sleep.... I live in South America so finding it hard to find a way to get a diagnosis. Thanks Kate for this interview, really resonated with me.
I get the coffee in the middle of the night thing too...and right back to sleep.
Fantastic interview, so relatable. Low level alcohol/narcotics use, failure to ever really make money, compounding condition shifts such as menopause. Thankyou.
Oh, and crisps. I didn't know that was a thing, but yeah, that's defintely a thing. Interesting to know that it's the crunch that's at the heart of it. Unhealthy me will mainline a large sharing bag of crisps a day. Healthy me buys carrots and celery and makes hummus. Just never put it together before.
The money part is me and my brain 🧠 bummer
I just love this lady ❤ I just want to give her a hug, and anyone else that is struggling with feeling unsupported. X
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porassss
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.
I so want to give you a hug and tell you it's going to be OK. When I got diagnosed last year it was such a hard adjustment and I felt like so many of the ways you're describing. A year on and if come to terms with the diagnosis and gotten closer to a place of acceptance. Those negative thought spirals have lessened and that chorus of self hating voices have finally quieted. I didn't even know it was possible. Please hold on. It will get better.
I think for me, I need to percolate ideas but when it ticks over into what I think of as procrastination the self judgement chat just like crashes down like a portcullis.
This discussion helped me understand that a bit better 💚
It IS a consumer decision and it is a class thing - I'm in middle life and anyone I know who is "professional" (ie wealthy) is going private and getting meds, anyone else gets to be lazy messy low achieving addict. Could be worse tho, could be lazy messy addict in prison or in massive debt
I was diagnosed at 38, i'm 43 now, still trying to unpack and understand all the craziness that my life has been. Giving up alcohol has given me the most peace, along with walking away from unhealthy friendships, it's helped to see things more clearly.
Kate you are awesome ❤❤❤ Thank you for being so honest! Everything you said I am going through as well. I am in my 40s and not diagnosed only diagnosed with anxiety disorder but I know I have ADD.
I am going down this route of self awareness and self understanding now at 49. Kate interviewed me at work for an article about 25 years ago and it stuck in my head as a really weird interaction…..suddenly it’s all making sense!!! 😂
WEIRD INTERACTION. Do tell!!??
She is a wonderful, honest interview. She should try being alone. A huge success even with ADHD. I am grateful to not be in prison or living on the street as a self medicating addict.
I’m 40 and I’m so glad my peer group were more accepting than this. Only 15 years apart and so much change in opinion. I relate with almost everything but so glad was less friction for me.
I relate. I still have imposter syndrome. It’s hard. I am autistic too and I think I feel just really sad and confused. 😢
keep going. we endure
@katespicer276. Kate - thanks for doing this interview. I've always watched u as years ago I loosely knew one of yr relatives. Due to that link I wud notice yr name & read yr articles. I was diagnosed last summer after 2 years waiting on referral list as problems occurred not of my doing making delays unavoidable. I was then diagnosed Autistic in December. I'm a few years older than u. . I've just been dismissed from my job because they don't want to make adjustments 4 my new diagnosis of Audhd. Obviously this makes me feel doubly shamed as I've felt shamed by them since I told them about my initial referral. So now I'm managing massive changes & financial instability, only a few weeks after being released from hospital (after a week there because the constant stress affected my body where I nearly died if sepsis). Hopefully as one stressful door closes, other doors will open. I would like to be respected & appreciated for me - with my neurodiversity. If u had doubts about doing this interview, please be reassured u have done the right thing. This interview not so 'coincidentally' popped up in my feed. I can see so many others in the comments section stating they have valued this interview & wish to thank you both for doing it. I adored crisps and ate 2 packets a day at times. Since being hospitalised I can only eat low fat crisps and I have half a packet a day now. They were a comfort food dopamine hit b 4, for sure. I've subbed to u. Bravo Kate. X.
❤
I really wish she had given her opinions about ADHD being a pathologising of personality. It would be great to have her on again in a few months' time. She's great to listen to.
What's a pathologising of personality?
@@deliobaoduzzi6450 basically means making personality traits a medical condition, which is what a lot of people say about ADHD/Autism.
Do you mean that it's not adhd but just a personality disorder that has not been discovered yet ? Really? Very interesting . If this is true where can I find more infos about it ?
@@deliobaoduzzi6450 no. If you hear someone say that adhd is just “pathologising personality” what they’re saying is they think it’s not a real disorder, just a personality type that has been labeled one. Does that make sense? A lot of people think this. Doesn’t mean it’s true, it’s just an opinion. I think there is some merit to it but it’s more complex than that.
Iiiiinteresring about the tour guides having ADHD. We love novelty and that can translate into to loving new surroundings! 🎉😊🎉😊
My cousin said his two best tour guides, by a long way, are very ADHD.
@@katespicer276 That's awesome 😄
Thank you for this interview! I resonated with everything Kate said. Everything fell apart for me during college as well and I've spent my life wondering why I couldn't get it together and why I was successful but not as successful as I could be. I would blame myself. There's a lot of shame when you have ADHD. And the cocktail of menopause & ADHD is brutal.
Thank you Kate and Alex. Another very relatable podcast. ❤
Appreciate the support!
wow, I can relate to so much of what has been said, but i have never thought of myself as having ADHD because Im not hyperactive, if anything i spend so much time incredibly tired. I completely resonate with the negative self talk, the 2 year relationships that go from almost obsessive to disinterested. Career wise i have always been a perfectonist and over achiever but I would work myself into burn out and still try to seek validation even when i was treated badly. I dont have family relationships and until recently because i was a military brat, i didnt really have true friends I could trust, I tended to do whatever i needed to do to fit in but i never really did. I still dont know if my experience is ADHD, Autism, CPTSD or a mixture of all of them and getting help is almost impossible. Add Perimenopause and hormone fluxuations on top and life is fucking hard...
AMEN!!
Regarding her story about realizing she wasn't normal when she identified with everything a depressed friend told her.
I dropped out of university when I was around 21, then went back to school to get my bachelors at 31, started a PhD at 34. I was telling an acquantaince what I did and she responded, "Oh I always wanted to be an academic, but I have ADHD so I could never do it."
I thought to myself, well I have ADHD...does that explain why it was so monumentally difficult for me? Like this person said it was too difficult to even think about so she just never tried and I pushed myself so hard to get through. It's hard for me to appreciate how hard I worked, and often thought to myself I'm just not cut out for this.
I was diagnosed at 5 years old, in the early 90s, and it just was part of me for so long some times I forget that I have it. I stopped medication as a teenager because my parents let me choose. Listening to ADHD stories now, it's like, oh yeah, I have this thing...
Crying, like I've been let out of a cage, happy I'm free but realizing how much ive missed by being in the cage. This was like looking in a mirror. When you hear your thoughts outside your own head, it makes me feel more real, like I'm not a ghost. Thank you Kate, you have helped me.
I am also in my mid 50's and was diagnosed two years ago.....I can relate so much to what Kate is saying, all I can say is thank god for the late diagnosis, saved my life.
I’m in my 70s, recently found out that I have off the charts adhd and also an explanation for the crazy chaos that has been 7 decades of life. I suspect my mother is on the spectrum somewhere, she’s 94 and disowned me for quite a few years. My son is diagnosed inattentive . It takes quite a while to come to terms with it, lots of grief, anger, but eventually some acceptance and peace. I don’t take meds, have had therapy and coaching which was hugely helpful. The negative chatter and ER has been easier to deal with. I don’t try to hide it, actually have a badge that says neurospicy…I get younger people grinning and saying me too, which is lovely. Ps I had the two year relationship thing too. Over and over 😕
Late diagnosis (68) is sad and frustrating...but still better late than never...kind of! 😮
@@briobarb8525 It is an emotional rollercoaster I think, but yes definitely has made a huge difference to me knowing WHY 😄
So Happy to have found this channel
I had no idea, this is me.
Even mild disapproval, creating a feeling of being not quite good enough, can be disabling, and trigger a level of super ADHD. And that creates the fear of future criticism and RSD and perfectionism and procrastination.
This has just blown me apart.
My 14 year old son is undergoing analysis for ADHD and I’ve consequently been listening and reading about it.
This woman is describing my life in a nutshell. I’m 58 soon and most of my life has been wasted.
Kate I can totally relate :D I'm 53 with no diagnosis but i think ADHD with the childhood lack of love and support and instead becoming the scapegoat. I agree that the adhd brain + childhood troubles = a bigger problem. I haven't achieved much, the 1st year of 2 different degrees - 10 years apart. Anyway I feel not so alone in my experience. Apologies for this terrible writing!! hahaa in a hurry can't find the words! Loved this chat - be well lovely people xx
@pipwhitefeather Since ADHD is around 70% heritable, there is a very high likelihood that many of us had parents with undiagnosed ADHD. I am sure my own mother has it and she is also a covert narcissist. I vowed that I would be nothing like her. It does traumatise. I too, was the scapegoat.
I’ve turned my life around. Had a diagnosis in my 50s and manage the ADHD with diet, exercise and avoiding stress (downshifted job). One of my sons has it, but having had a loving, nurturing childhood, he is very successful, and has been with his fiancée 13 years. I think a nurturing, happy childhood is what makes a massive difference.
@@gilly5094 yes I've considered this. I believe my maternal grandmother was ADHD, and OCD. Her family didn't know how to deal with her and she would be sent to the basement to scrub the cellar floor - often. In old age she kept an immaculate home and when she was a mother she wouldn't let her kids brush their teeth in the bathroom because of mess - they did it in the kitchen. She wasn't a loving grandmother and my Aquarian mother was equally unemotional but she does care. It's my siblings that I struggle with and their judgments of my life. My step father was also emotionally challenged and ruled 'by fear'. He was a bully really. Wow blah blah blah... who cares eh? I'm still rockin' this crazy life...30% anyway...hahaha sorry on my second glass of wine...happy Tuesday folks!
keep going. exercise helps, always.
@@katespicer276 off to play badminton soon... ;)
Thank you Kate for opening up so honestly about things in your life. I recognises those types of struggles… especially in academia…i’d have accomplished….not very much without an imperative deadline. But its a killer each time. The light bulb of hearing others discuss ADHD through their lived experience is so helpful… I wouldn’t have given it a second thought without these discussions. Its helped me understand things. I share that thought of ‘well what do I do now’ and is knowledge of it practically useful when you only hear about it so late in life. Its been a bit of an invisible enemy thats pulled me away from what I knew was right in favour of any distraction even when I’ve known what I should have been doing.
All I know is that this channel helps enormously. Thank you Alex and for everyone who contributes to this channel!
A huge thank you to Kate for sharing. I'm about 3 years post-diagnosis, not much younger than Kate, and I was on the verge of tears through most of the video because of how deeply relatable she is.
I’m 43 and recently diagnosed with ADHD. When I was 20, I jumped off a cliff too!! OMG that’s crazy. Kate, thank you for opening up and sharing your story. I am eager to read your work! ❤
did u have sex afterwards tho
Really appreciated Kate Spicer's sharing. I'm 52, and over the past year, I first found out I was autistic and more recently have been formally diagnosed with ADHD as well. I recognized so many pieces of my own life in her story. I'm now prescribed stimulants, as well, and that's been a revelation. I had no idea how much chatter I was dealing with or that it wasn't "normal". Great interview. Thanks.
54, yo, recently officially ish diagnosed. I have noticed that we tend to downplay our successes, as we focus on the negative thoughts and our perceptions of ourselves. You are all enough. 💜
28:16 “All the chatter goes” I cannot comprehend how this feels!
A very moving and valuable podcast, thank you so much.
This Podcast triggert so much, make me cry. It could be me, who sit there - just that i am not diagnosed
What a remarkable interview. Kate sounds like a highly intelligent, articulate woman who is honest and humorous
watching this has made my day a lot easier, thank you both
So nice to hear. Thanks
Be kinder with yourself, you’re beautiful ❤
Been diagnosed for 4 years and you’ve understood my experience better than I have been to able articulate it.
I see myself sitting there saying all of the same things. Thank you for sharing your story❤
TY for sharing your story! I’m amazed you had a career without prescription medication; I’ve returned to college after over a decade only due to my stimulants. Dr K has a VOD the reason stimulants do work for hyperactivity is because it’ll elevate the executive functions so you can focus and pick what to do. The pandemic brought a brutal shortage of ADHD medicine as so many got diagnosed in USA.
If anyone has similar issues mentioned seek at least 2 Doc’s to be assessed, it took 4 doctors for my diagnosis. All of the stigma she mentions are all so prevalent, maybe even the host?
So glad I stumbled on this - so many parallels! Made me tear up to hear Kate describe the cacophony of internal voices and see the effect over the years. I also just assumed everyone was like this - what a shock to discover that no, this is anomalous and it’s the reason for some of my best and worst experiences.
Intermittent psilocybin stacks through winter with sun lamps and vitamins and supplements helped me MASSIVELY with the chatter and depression. Finding coping mechanisms and safeguarding ourselves against the reality of typicals narrative is important. The shame spiralling is constant and unless you construct armour and boundaries we are raw targets. Diagnosis is validation for the lifetime of utter BS we are drowning in.
Big huge Thank You Kate. I feel seen, heard, represented in every aspect of your story. Im grateful for your vulnerability. You are a powerhouse Kate
I can't count the amount of time in my life from a child to an adult the time I've heard, "You are smart, just lazy. You refuse to try. " and "You're just not trying."
Now I catch myself saying that to my kids and have to backtrack regularly. My inner voice is still constantly saying these things to myself.
Oooh! Procrastination is part of MY process too! 😂 Fabulous interview. Kate is so relatable 😊 (70 year old former freelance journo with a lot of other congruencies)
Procrastination is not an ADHD symptom. In fact the complete opposite. Impulsivity and lack of focus not procrastination.
@@MichaelClarke75procrastination is definitely an ADHD symptom. For me it’s the by far the most cripplingly worst symptom, as it’s filled with shame and an inability to commit to starting or finishing things for fear of either not being able to meet your own (often ridiculously high) expectations, or to avoid feeling Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, which is incredibly painful. Procrastination has cost me so much in my career and in my personal life and now I know I have ADHD (diagnosed last year at 52), I can be more compassionate to myself -which is far from easy, as I’ve spent my whole life being told I’m lazy and not good enough and believing it.
So yeah, procrastination is 100% a symptom.
@@MichaelClarke75also, please remember that each person’s experience of adhd is unique. As the saying goes, “once you’ve met one person with ADHD, you’ve met one person with ADHD”.
This was such an enjoyable conversation!! I never knew Kate Spicer is ADHD and possibly autistic 😅 I was drawn to her articles as a young woman, no wonder why! She's mad in the best way possible and she should never change that for nobody! I look forward to more of these brilliant, insightful and honest conversations ☺️
Was really absorbed in your 'trauma narrative' and then saw your TRAINERS and am now 💯% distracted 😅
Lovely interview thank you, (self) diagnosing AUDHD in my fifties, esp after an occupational psychologist called the ADHD.... Need to find the flip side...
I see this interview was six years ago and hope you're both doing really well, maybe an update? 😊
Is a two year honeymoon period with a company you work for also normal with oxytocin and ADHD?
Same for me re the children. Was always anxious about perpetuating the chaos and coping with the tiredness and organisation of it, plus the boredom aspects of eg 'going back to school' through your children.
Some really fascinating self awareness. Shame before and after diagnosis.
People around can often sympathise with the diagnosis but not live/ work with its chaotic aspects.... 🤔
interview came out one day ago!
thank you for sharing your experiences Kate 🙂❤
I'm 54 and have just been diagnosed. Started on ritilan which is amazing. Have to put my life back together now.
Diagnosed at 36. Changed my life.
Thank you so much, what a breath of fresh air to listen to you both here…i was diagnosed last November at 51…such a mixture of relief and grief too for so many ‘nearly successes’! No children either…but i learned from listening to you about why my relationships have only lasted 2 years!!! I have a cat now and a lot happier to focus on him!! ….fingers crossed for more than 2 years though 😉
Thank you so much for doing this interview Kate, i had a few omg moments, recognising past relationship patterns, negative self talk, eating issues. I still get hungry hippo in my head everytime I feel hungry and a failure narrative.
I haven't been formally diagnosed, but my youngest son has been and has autism as well and it's on both sides of my biological family.
This interview has convinced me I need to pursue getting tested of ADHD and ASD. I have suspected for years I am dealing with probably both, or at least one.
Kate is a badass! Would love a second interview in the future.
This is awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!!
I felt like Beyoncé in Lemonade for years-silenced myself, screamed, jumped, moved, danced, stood still (not long!), swam, walked, starved, glutted, drank, smoked, finally dove into meditation, past life regression, chakra cleansing, and tarot all trying to fix myself. The spiritual stuff finally brought self acceptance and now a deep dive into neurodivergence ✨🙏🏽❤️
My sister is ADHD and we’re very different, so I just figured I’m a fug up. This is all prob TMI but it’s really really nice to know I/you are not alone.
HRT has helped SO VERY MUCH. It has calmed my symptoms to totally liveable levels.
WARNING: progesterone taken orally can trigger suicidal/depressive states in ADHD women.
Get an IUD with progesterone.
My mind is blown about the relationship part! I’m happily married (and medicated) now, but from age 15-30 most of my relationships lasted for two years. I even noticed the two-year pattern but didn’t know why until just now!
I'm barely half way through and this is hitting home. I'm in my early 40s and I just recently had a therapist tell me I have it. I'm learning to really tell myself that I've done great going through life without a diagnosis. You are amazing Kate!
Totally related to Kate!
I so totally relate, yikes! I'm new in all this as my daughter recently got diagnosed. Back in my day, adhd was boys running around in circles and creating chaos therefore I couldn't relate. I do now, big time and feel very ripped off . My life could have been so different if I had been properly diagnosed. Think it's unfortunately all a bit late for me but so glad this is finally getting noticed and talked about
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly
@@AnaSolano190
I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
@@Eddington451Does he deliver to various locations?
my god the amount of the conversation, that kate speaks about makes so much sense for most of my life my first ever relationship lasted 2 years!! i’m adhd and autistic big love Kate
You can really feel her sorrow and emotions.. very brave of her to open up like this ❤
This interview is astoundingly honest. An insightful treasure. Also, ADHD Chatter is a brilliant name.
I found out that I have ADHD through my own research, because I knew something was off with me. I finally got my diagnosis at 47. Within one year I was able to get things done, that I was never capable off. But then I wanted to switch doctors, because of a really nasty incident with the consultation help at my doctor's office. I have not been able to find a new doctor that can prescribe my medicine, since then. It has been 6 months and my life is falling apart. It is incredibly frustrating knowing how my life could be, but being denied the help that I need. Even my health insurance is telling me, that's just the way it is, because there are too many patients and not enough doctors that can prescribe the medication. I live in Germany
Fantastic interview! Thank you Kate for sharing ❤
Katie needs to write a book about her life in retrospect. I would buy it tomorrow. Her narrative is incredibly informative and comforting x
I've never watched something so relatable. Literally every point. Doom spiralling in particular. I call it the upward spiral or the downward spiral and it's exactly what Kate described. Just recently diagnosed myself.
This could have been my interview! Still undiagnosed at 46 but I now understand why I behaved the way I did up until recently - now I manage my brain a lot better (but it’s still a struggle!)
Hellraiser! Such a good comparison!! Or the scene with the guts from The Cell!
Thank you for sharing Kate! You describe it all so well
I was diagnosed when I was 35 - whenever I tell anyone, their reaction is "Oh I think I have a bit of ADHD" I kind of laugh, but it's an angry laugh - I cannot maintain friendships, jobs, income, intimate relationships and I am deeply saddened by that. Lots of love kate x
U and me both sister…just turned 49.
As a lil girl I can rem praying every night that God would take away my heart. (As all lil tykes, I thought love and caring came from there) My heart still breaks for that lil girl. 🕊️