In a way, being a person with Autism is like being left handed in a world that only accepts right handedness is considered right and people constantly are trying to train you to be right handed and don't understand the left handedness and treat you like you're crazy for being left handed or using your left hand for tasks everyone uses their right for and practically everything is made for right handed people. Now Autism is still very different from being left handed, but the analogy is comparable in my mind.
Morgan your life story is so relatable to me. Officially diagnosed 29 - also both autism and ADHD. I can literally share every little piece of the story except during having first solid burnout during college times I was basically misdiagnosed bipolar and/or depressive and somehow pushed through life hoping this gets better over time only to burn out more seriously in the following years after attempting to work full time multiple jobs (never was able to stay for long) and telling myself - "everyone must feel like that". Also pondering an option of being narcissist and eventually ending up being properly diagnosed. Stories like this help me feel less alone and give some hope for the future that things will be alright. Please keep up being a great part of our neurodivergent community!
SAME!!! 29, and always knew I had adhd but recently assessed that I also have autism….. and suddenly everything makes sense and it’s also a very “wtf” moment where it all comes together and now you feel like you have to learn yourself all over again! It feels like maybe it’s just a label… but…. it’s how my brain works… and having the adhd too they are always clashing and it makes life like a constant push and pull dynamic ahhhhh. But we got this!
Hi! I am also 29 and just been diagnosed autistic this week. I also have adhd, this one diagnosed 2 years ago. But the autistic stuff really makes me more confuse of how to continues with this fact. It makes sense of everything that i do my whole life.. but now i dont know where to start..any tips? Or share what you do?
I didn't realize I was masking either but I knew I wasn't being myself, it always felt like I was trying to make people accept me. I have observed other peoples behavior and ways of communication since I was a child and I got so interested in social interactions that I started researching it. Now I understand that it's because I wanted to fit in and control how I would be perceived by other people.
This. As an adult in my 30s, I got into body language and dialogue, analysis, healthy boundaries, and how to spot narcissistic behavior, because I would constantly attract those people. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a genuine friend.
Honestly if you thought that was narcissism, you didn't know what a narcissist is and I'm sorry you felt so bad about yourself that you greatly considered that you might be one.
Yeah, I went through the same thing, except that was projected onto people from the outside. Turns out they had just as much trouble empathizing with me as I did them, and they were just picking on me because I was the minority.
Yes, that's exactly it. After realizing I'm autistic as well as being able to identify what traits I have and what makes me tick, while considering that anyone I've ever unwittingly demonized (because they hurt me deeply) could have had ASD well. It's a process, tyring to open the mind. @@polari7658
Reminder narcissists can and do sometimes work hard to get better. So if that's you reading this, you're such a king / queen / royal for that. Keep it up ✊️❤️
@@donnie1725 Thank you so much 🖤 like, for real, I have AuDHD *and* am a narcissist and this is really heartwarming, first got me emotional and then made me smile. Like, I had to do a double take on your comment, cause it's so rare that I see someone recognize us as human beings and not irredeemable, heartless monsters. Narcissism is a spectrum too, so people on it differ *a lot* from each other, and it also isn't quite what most people think it is Also, "queen" is such a perfect choice of compliment for a narc, at least for this one 😌
I'm undiagnosed and have not spoken to many people about this but as a 30 year old man. But your whole clip at 7:21 of this video has been me over the last 6 months researching. I considered maybe adhd, bpd, ptsd etc, but the more I dig into the autism rabbit hole and the more videos like yours I watch the more i'm like... holy shit....these people are literally describing my life with 99% accuracy. It's like they know me better than I even know myself.
Morgan, your videos have helped me so much. While my experience getting diagnosed is different from yours, the realizations that I have had since being diagnosed are so similar to yours. I’ve have spent the last two years since my diagnosis looking at my past and my autism explains so much about the difficulties I have had in life. I have lost jobs and had failed relationships that I can directly associate with my autism. I only wish that I had been diagnosed 40 years ago so that I didn’t have to struggle so long not knowing why I was the way I was. Thanks for putting yourself out there so that others can learn.
I’m 31 (I’ll be 32 this year) and I was diagnosed initially with severe autism, severe mental retardation (now called intellectual disability), and speech delay. My mom was told I would never graduate high school, never go to college and never live a normal life. I didn’t know about my diagnosis until the night before my 13th birthday and I was devastated. Everything made sense: Why I was treated differently from my sisters, why certain people didn’t want to be friends with me and why certain family members didn’t want a relationship with me. I was fortunate that I had my parents, my sisters, and my grandma (my mom’s mom) to support me. At 17, I had another Psychological Evaluation where I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and at 19, I was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS). I’ve always been stuck in this thing my whole life that I haven’t been able to put into words until recently where I’m too normal to be considered Autistic but too weird to be considered normal. I don’t like to use the word autistic for myself because people have used it to hurt me so it’s always had a negative effect on me.
Hi, Morgan. I am a student researcher for autism, and I am (and both of my kids are) autistic. I wanted to let you know that some symptoms of autism can and do improve. I remember several stages throughout my life when I seemed to have "woken up" to the world around me. My kids have each gone through it at least once. In autism, parts of the brain develop *differently* and at a different rate than neurotypical brains. Beyond taking longer to develop, we also master techniques to help us get through our everyday lives. Your diagnosis story was much like mine. University is what broke me. I got my diagnosis three years ago at 43. I can report that my executive functioning has improved with age and use. (Motherhood was a crash course in learning to function. Make sure you have support if you decide to have kids!) My anxiety has gotten worse, but I have techniques in place for that, too. It gets better. Just do what you can in your own time. Life is not a race but a series of experiences, so take your time and enjoy yours.
I love that in your video you always say "I'm an autistic human being." thank you for that because I feel like so many people see people different from them as non human. So many people in my school need to hear this.
Oh wow, I have a similar college story. I tried to live at school and after 2 months, I just packed up my dorm and asked my parents to take me home. I tried commuting but I couldn’t handle anything and was failing too, so I dropped out. I dropped out of community college when I tried to go back a year later. And then finally I got accommodations in 2012 and went to college part time. I have a BA and MA now, but I had to do things differently. And I had a ton of support from my parents like you did. I also live in the same state as you and am a former provider, so I know what the providers here can be like.. I am so happy to hear you had a therapist who figured it out. Your formal diagnosis itself sounds really exhausting though, and same here. I’m glad you found that social media works for you ! I love your presence and advocacy and learn a lot from you as a fellow autistic. Thanks for all you do 😊
I was diagnosed at 63. So I’ve been lost in life and constantly told , it was always my fault I didn’t have friends or couldn’t communicate with my mother. I was top of the class, with no friends. I’ve live a stressful hard life with no supports. No autism diagnosis in the 1970’s. My hope for women today is they can live a better fulfilled life. I used to think I was not good enough for anyone to get close to me because they would discover I’m really different on the inside.
I'm so happy doctors & therapists are becoming more knowledgeable about ASD. I had severe sensory issues as a child, multiple stims, screamed when otger children touched me, hid in the coat closet to get away from them, cut all my tags out of clothing, couldn't hear while maintaining eye contact or concentrate in class with the bright, buzzing lights & NO ONE suspected ASD until many, many years later when I stumbled onto an "Aspergers Quotient" test online & scored a 48 of 50. Love your channel, Morgan!!
When you said you are still lonely, it hit me deep. I think we autistic people deal with that long-term. But it sounds like you have a great family, just like I do. That's what really helps us.
My clients have this experience over and over and over. It's a HUGE privilege to be the therapist that helps people realize that autism or ADHD is what's going on with them. The strange experience is that people almost NEVER fake autism. In fact, I've never run across that ever. Every person who has suspected it have turned out to meet almost all of the criteria, and certainly met enough to make a diagnosis. Channels like this are a super useful path for people like you watching this to find therapists like me and get the help they need. I will also say we REALLY need more therapists who understand autism and work with people on the spectrum. If you're watching this and think this could be you, please consider taking this path as a therapist who specialises in autism spectrum disorder (and while you're at it, ADHD). THANK YOU Morgan for sharing your story!
I love hearing your story; being able to sit and relate so hard on so many levels with a person is so refreshing. It's definitely lonely trying to find real connections vs online ones, but we will survive.
Thank you so much for your content! I'm a 54 year old female who experienced a severe burnout a couple of months ago. Looking at the symtoms I learned about autistic burnout and about autism in general. All my struggles finally made sense. I talked to a neurologist who diagnosed me with depression a couple of years ago. He seemed to get really angry, I had no chance to explain anything . He told me "we' re all a little bit autistic" and "there's no treatment anyways". Although I'm absolutely sure about my diagnosis, I'll seek a formal diagnosis at some point but I still recover from that neurologists-appointment. Thank you again, I'm looking forward to watching more of your videos, they're so relatable and informative.
I’m sorry the neurologist you saw dismissed your symptoms. But, when you know- you know. And it sounds like you know. I am a 56 yr old woman who was diagnosed with ADHD 20 years ago, but I knew there was more to the story. I kind of stumbled on my autism diagnosis through issues my teenage daughter was having. You can still continue to research, get coaching, therapy etc. with a self diagnosis. Then, if you still feel like you want an “official” diagnosis you’ll be armed with the information about yourself if someone tries to shut you down again. It’s especially hard when you’re “high functioning” bc you are trying to operate in the world at a higher level and seen as neurotypical, but it takes so much more out of you just to keep up with your co-workers, friends, neighbors, etc. Good luck to you😊
My story mirrors yours to a scary degree; misdiagnosed as a child, had a 'normal' life with a job, friends, hobbies etc. but always felt like SOMETHING was off... And I kept putting it off until I also had a burnout during college, spent a few years trying to solve the wrong problems and now have been working through my diagnosis for the past year or so.
This is exactly what I’m going through tighter now. I’m 19 and just failed some classes in school because I think I’m starting to feel the beginnings of burn out. I’ve suspected being autistic for a while but seeing my life experience mirrored so clearly in yours maybe will help me get ahead of the eventual burn out and make it at least a little bit less harsh on me. Thank you for sharing your story.
How could you tell that you have a burnout when you don't even have a diagnosis of autism? Suspecting you have it isn't the same as actually having it. You probably aren't autistic, it's actually far less common than these self appointed spokespeople make it out to be.
You were so lucky to find that therapist! I went to so many therapists over the years and NONE of them ever figured out it was autism even though the signs were very clear… I sought my diagnosis thanks to Love on the Spectrum and RUclips!
Your videos have definitely helped me realize that I may have autism in addition to my ADHD. The ways you explain the struggles of having both made me feel a sense of belonging. I am trying to get diagnosed for autism at the moment.
Thank you Morgan :) Our daughter was diagnosed a couple of years ago but there really wasn't any follow-up education for any of us. We learn a lot from your videos even though we have a long way to go still.
Thank you so much for this video, I've been diagnosed a couple months ago with autism and adhd and now my life has finally sense. Thank you so much for all the videos you share, they make me feel less alone and understood!
I want to thank you for sharing your experiences. Your videos have helped me understand why my life has been so difficult. It is crazy how there is nothing in the medical community in place to help adults with autism. It's up to the autism community to generate autistic professionals in this field. You are doing a great service providing guidance for those of us who can't get it anywhere else. Keep it up. I wish you continued success , well being and lots of love and happiness.
Thank you so much for all the posting you have done. It has helped me understand the autism that runs in my family (including myself) and break the cycle of shame around it by sharing your videos with my family members. Its funny to me how I never thought I was struggling more than other kids growing up but I started my first office job (and my job is very boring) with mostly remote employees that all work very separately and all of my neurodivergent struggles came to surface right away.
Thank you Morgan for sharing your story! You're parents are MVP's 😍 I relate to you so much and you actually helped me to pursue ADHD diagnosis! I'm so happy life turned out good for you and I hope it will for me too. I'm 25 and currently (6 months after diagnosis) I'm past the period of hope/excitement and entered the phase of anger and like grief about it? Your videos make me feel valid and hopeful, thank you ❤️ I wish to join your neurodivergent trip one day
Hello Morgan! Your videos have been a lifeline to me as a mom of an 18 year old who is going for her neuropsych eval next week. She suffered from what looks like autistic burnout in the fall of her freshman year. We are also from MA. Do you know if there are any support groups in MA for newly diagnosed autistic young adults? Please keep up your great work - it's so important!
Diagnosed at an early age, wasn’t told I was autistic until i was 14 for high school cuz I was getting an interview for a high school (private school) and their reason was “I was gonna blame all my problems to autism.” I thought I was normal all my life until that moment. It took a while for me to process it ( over a year) then it hit me, a lot of my problems stems from my trauma. My dad works with autistic children and he doesn’t understand me one bit. I feel your pain. We are all here for you.
I'm 26 and I went through all the same things when I went to college and have related to all of your videos. I'm pretty sure that I am AuDHD as well because it just explains so much but im having a very hard time finding a doctor so I can get a psych referral. I've been researching autism and adhd for over a year now and I've long suspected I had add or adhd and was always shut down immediately because I didn't fit the stereotypes. It's so reassuring to finally be able to relate to someone, so glad I found your videos!!❤
Thank you Morgan. I was 42 when moved to a new country and I had really hard time adapting - and then someone told me that I might just have been autistic my entire life. The word 'autistic' is sometimes unfortunately used as a slur in my country of origin. So I was thoroughly surprised when after doing a long and extensive research and taking all the tests and self-assessments I could find (I know how ironic this sounds in a hindsight) I ended up with test results where my numbers were really high even for autistic people. You are one of the few first autistic people I found through social media who pointed me in the right direction. What you are doing is very important. I wish you and all of us will find - or create - all the support we need.
God. I'm still angry about going undiagnosed, even though I was literally the stereotype you mentioned (white boy who loved trains). I know there's nothing I can do and I am diagnosed now, but it's tough not to ruminate about feeling failed.
I wish I would have been diagnosed at an early age, but for me it happened no sooner than at the age of 47!!! I've been thinking a lot what my life could have been like if diagnosed as a kid... Work life has always been such a struggle for me and at the moment I've been on a sick leave for nearly seven months now bc of an autistic burnout. Love your content here on RUclips ❤
I'm going to get tested in may for if I have ADHD or Autism. I'm so sure that I have Autism that I can't wait to get tested because I want to know if I'm correct. If I do have Autism I do think I'm going through autistic burnout because even if I'm not autistic I put up a mask and I'm SO tired of it. I feel like I'm showing way to much emotion at school, I feel like I could pass out because I'm so tied of it. I love your channel and you are one of the ppl who help me with figuring out who I am.
Isn't autism officially a disability? I was going to pursue a diagnosis with the expectation that I could get disability benefits, like reducing my utility bills or qualifying for reduced fares and other such things. But yeah, I've noticed that all the resources I hear about are for autistic children only. Don't autistic children obviously become autistic adults? Autism doesn't go away. We don't outgrow it. It doesn't fade. We just maybe start to look more "normal" because we learn to cope and mask, but we just become increasingly exhausted. My part-time job is all I can handle, but it doesn't come close to paying for all my expenses and offers no health insurance or job security. We deserve better.
It is a disability, yes. Getting disability for it (certainly in the US) is something as an adult that is more problem than solution unless you are in a condition where you can't work and make more. SSI doesn't pay nearly enough and SSDI pays based on your earnings history and requires a high enough pay over time and credits before you qualify for much of anything with it still being much less than you'd hopefully be able to earn. SSI won't be paid if you have enough income and resources in the form of savings, so that's problematic. Even then, currently it maxes out at $991 or less than that per month (I forget the exact number, but without section 8 housing, you aren't living on your own and even with it, you'll need to be creative). Because of that, if I ever qualify for SSI, that means I'm destitute and unless I'm mistaken, I'd have to use up my 401k as well. There's a non-zero chance of me not being able to be gainfully employed due to health, and should that happen, I'd apply for SSDI. I'd still be eating through my 401k which may not be enough for a reasonable retirement.
Epic story Morgan, I only knew stereotypes but I’m becoming a better human thanks to people like you. I know now why the young autistic lad did so poorly at our UK state school. Nobody even knows about sensory or masking issues there. I wonder if the health and teaching professions should get some formal training on autism.
I have been in and out of therapy for many years. Not really because of a mental health issue per se. But, because of trauma I was enduring. You would be surprised how often different mental/emotional issues are misdiagnosed. There is help out there though. Sometimes you have to look long and hard. I'm sorry you had to endure not finding help because you are an adult with autism. I am blown away by that. It's unacceptable as far as I'm concerned. I'm going to see my therapist tomorrow and I will be talking to her about that. I want to know why this is happening. You have plenty of friends and encouragement online. Just be careful who you let into your life. Especially, if it is someone you met online. I know you're an adult. But, please allow your parents to help you and pay attention to their advice. They can see danger that you can't see. You're a sweet girl, and a very strong person. Best wishes with your RUclips channel! I'm sure it is so needed to help others to cope. I'm glad I came across your videos today. Thank you, Jeanette
i was thankful to have gotten diagnoised with Autism at an very young age but again didnt know i was autistic till middle school but i had my many share of meltdowns, burnout moments and constant wonders on what the hell is wrong with me even if knowing what autism was and i used to hate that i couldn't be as socialable and this or that as many others and hell an autistic care center is what helped me with getting an job after struggling with getting one for almost 3 years after i graduated high school (back in 2015) and it is definitely crazy they don't know have anything to help autistic adults and all that anyways thank youu for sharing your story, been loving your content on here and on TikTok/Instagram and it's the most relatable stuff i've ever seen :} i also have signs of ADHD as well, i also live in Massachusetts (the Worcester Area), i love writing music, i also post on RUclips and TikTok and i still occansional struggle with my identity but i try to embrace good vibes and positivity and making people happy, anyways again thank you for sharing all this with us, keep up the amazing work :}
I am so glad you shared your diagnosis and also I’m glad you started posting about autism. I came across some of your shorts and it made me suspect that I have autism. Because of the experiences you shared. Some experiences you shared made me take a look back and be like ohh I do this or I did this. I didn’t even realize it. Also when you talk about autistic burnout and masking. It felt like something clicked I’ve been struggling with anxiety for the past couple years and it’s mainly social issues but I didn’t have symptoms of social anxiety. I realized the anxiety was related to masking. I have ADHD and growing up nobody really noticed that I displayed any traits of autism. I had majority of traits of ADHD and was told by my doctor that I’ll grow out of it. I want to get a formal diagnosis but idk how to bring it up to my current doctor or how to go about a diagnosis.
You probably don't. It's a lot more rare than people on the internet make it out to be. If you've made it to adulthood without anyone picking up on anything you probably don't have it. Most of those symptoms she talks about are relatable to most people.
I love your videos and content. I was diagnosed with autism at 31 and since I have learned more about it it changed my life and made feel way less depressed. Thank you for sharing your story!
Remember to try surround yourself with good wholesome friends that aren't overly judgemental and at least try to be understanding and aren't toxic. It will help you and your mental health greatly. It won't get rid of the Autism cause that can't be cured, but surrounding yourself with the right people will still benefit you greatly and many of the stories I'm hearing make it seem like things were worse for you because of the type of people you were surrounded with. I was diagnosed early, but other than Special Ed and speech therapy in Elementary and a 504 plan most teachers ignored or didn't bother to read and my parents never bothered to tell everything it covered and my parents knowing I had it and trying (and sometimes over trying to help me) and the fact I knew I had it,...other than that, being diagnosed early didn't benefit me much. I was very secretive about it. The big difference with both of us growing up I'm noticing is the type of people we've been around, something I may have taken forgranted, but I think it was having the right kind of people in my life that lead me to not have as extreme of struggles in my childhood as you did. I don't know. Maybe I don't know truly know what I am talking about, but surrounding yourself with good peers and friends is good for anyone's mental health.
I was diagnosed with autism in 2020 as a 10 year old but was diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety and IED (Intermittent explosive disorder) all before I was even in primary school. Whenever I would tell an adult I had autism they would always say “Oh, you don’t seem like you have autism.” Which made me feel like I was being a ‘fake’. Whenever I would talk about my autism to other kids they would say “but you don’t act autistic” or “you don’t do *autistic* things” and act like I was a complete stranger, even though I was the same person from when before I told them.
Hi Morgan! I recently have absolutely adored (and even related to, in some cases) much of the content on your Instagram, and being autistic myself, I've found much comfort in sending any reels I find of yours back and forth between one of my neurodivergent friends. Even though they themselves aren't autistic, over the year and a half we've known eachother they've began to understand what makes my brain tick and they're very protective of me, which honestly I'm glad about haha! All to say though, your content is wonderful and keep doin' what you're doin!!
Thank you so much for this! Your story is so empowering. My daughter is 15, and we finally got her diagnosed after years of struggling academically by the end of 2nd grade, and she has been struggling to catch up since. Now this year she is taking AP World history! But we are going to have to fight for her 504 Plan to be followed. I want to find a way to help explain her autism to her, and I think your videos are so helpful!
i am so thankful for this video, I feel so seen when watching this and this helped me so much. i didn't know much about autisim until i did research about it. i don't really know what I'm saying anymore but thanks for the video
I discovered your videos and i am getting an official assessment before end of the month. I do not know how to feel about it, i lived my life and "dealt" with it but... i am avoiding thinking about the past I am not from the US and came to the US for school at 18 Alot of your story fits mine sadly. i finally graduated recently at the age of 27-28 after 10 years of university and switching major and "burnout" and depression etc... was forced diagnosed with ADHD + Others at 22 and the diagnosis changed across the years.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it's really really helpful to hear! This is so interesting to me as someone who's very recently tried pursuing a diagnosis for both mental health and neurodivergency at 21, as a woman. I'm almost wondering, after watching content from you and from others, if I've been a bit brushed off as well. I had a conversation with a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with low-grade depression, anxiety, ADHD, and autism, but it seemed like she was biased towards the mental health simply because I did well in school up until college...where I promptly crashed and burned and had to take a semester off to even feel like a person again. Something about her telling me I should have done poorly in school in order to be fully autistic or have ADHD just feels...off, especially as any depressive symptoms or anxiety symptoms seem either temporary or set off by other factors - such as intense burnout, which I'm thinking sounds kind of like autistic burnout, now. Hm. Food for thought!
I was diagnosed last year at 43, and if Covid lockdown hadn't hit and started a downward spiral for me, I may not have ever been diagnosed. But I was struggling a whole lot and my therapist one day just said "Hey, don't take this wrong, but I think you might be autistic." The moment she said that, it was like my brain immediately knew. The way I operated as a kid and as an adult made absolutely perfect sense. I already knew quite a bit about "standard" autism from working with autistic kids as a substitute teacher while in college, but it made so much more sense why I was so much more successful with those kids than other subs and why I had all the work I ever wanted. The night before I went in for testing, I let my friends know I had to leave our gaming session early and why and one of them said "Oh, you absolutely are. You don't even need testing for me to know you are." Also, I had a very different testing experience. I quite enjoyed the process of getting tested and it fascinated me to no end. I would probably do it again, given the opportunity. Mine was done at a place associated with Iowa State University and I'm pretty sure the folks that did my assessment thought I was actually bonkers. When they asked if I wanted a break for lunch, I was like "Nah, let's just keep going. Taking a break might ruin my flow. But feel free to swap around so you can take breaks." Then they asked me about every hour if I needed a break or to take lunch. My mom struggled with it a bunch, though. She's the kind of person that feels guilty about everything and I know she felt guilty about the way my parents treated me at times while I was growing up. I don't fault them; it isn't like there was a ton of material available about high-intelligence, high-masking autistic people in the 80's and 90's. But I do wish I had known so that I wouldn't have tried to go away to college. I needed time to recover from middle and high school, although I didn't know it, and staying home would have made things that much easier.
I was diagnosed with Autism last year at the end of May at 28.😅 (Diagnosed with ADHD the year before). It's a journey and I'm so glad you have been brave enough to share your journey with us. ❤ It's wild to think about how often we are misdiagnosed until they find out its Autism in pink 😂
Diagnosed at age 39 in August. Level 2 here. ADHD - inattentive as well as a cognitive disability. 🤦🏼♀️. Trying to find resources for help. It's a challenge.
Just got diagnosed at age 62, almost 63, though I've suspected that I was autistic for about 15 years. The diagnosis does make my life make sense now. As a person of color, autism is hard to figure out because we face so much discrimination due to racism.
You probably don't. It's a lot more rare than people on the internet make it out to be. If you've made it to adulthood without anyone picking up on anything you probably don't have it.
From my experience, it's not that people don't help Adults with Autism, it's that everyone is more interested in more severe cases and when you do get help, it's the wrong kind and a lot of systems that are supposed to help overcomplicate the process of getting services to help you. Either way you are stuck with it for life and stuck knowing about it for life, but you'll be okay. You'll find and develop new ways to cope and develop. To be honest it feels like society response to Autism whether knowing or unknowingly creates more issues than the Autism itself, but maybe I'm crazy.
So relatable except I had to start seeing someone about autism after I saw something relatable autism related on RUclips and twitter, and I just started seeing my psychologist/therapist about it
Im so sad about what you mentioned about no support, i started to look at first into ADHD but I didn't felt that the picture was complete until I started to look at autism, i was thinking about getting myself diagnosed but I'm a Chilean who live in a super tiny place in Germany for my husband work so here there's no so much help or professionals, i constantly feel the imposter syndrome like you are not that so i thought that the diagnosis could help to receive help but apparently is not helpful, so thanks to you and other ppl for talking about this otherwise i could still thinking "what's wrong with me" 😢❤
20…..20 YEARS OLD. OH MY GOD. I thought I was late diagnosed but I was diagnosed at 13 ❤. Even at 13 many people would not test me. I had to do OT as not only do I have autism, I also have dysgraphia and ADHD. And I had to go to 3 centre to find one which would help. My mom didn’t know any thing about disabilities and my school told her that I was lazy and that she was not a good parent (I left that school). But now that I see your videos I am more educated about autism. I wish people knew about the types of dyslexia and autism spectrum disorder. I would make life so much better. And all the stereotypes don’t help at all. Everyone I know in school thinks I’m faking even though I have 3 reports 😅. I just wish they would understand 😢 PS: I am 13 rn
12:55 took me about 3 years before I gathered up enough concentration and willpower to find adult services and support, for in-person tools and help. Great stuff
Yes, it is definitely possible to struggle with both of those. To have an accurate estimation of whether you are autistic or not, I would recommend: - checking the DSM5/looking at videos TRANSLATING what the DSM5 is trying to say, since they use complex English. - doing ACCURATE self assessment tests - checking out the pages of autistic creators who share their stories/relatable shorts/tiktoks, to see if you relate to them - keep in mind that you could also have PDA (pathological demand avoidance), which could be the root of your autistic burnout. Thank you for listening!!
@@sage.81 well, depressive burnout is usually insinuated due to the lack of dopamine and motivation to do tasks. It is not demand avoidance, whereas if you have pathological demand avoidance (subtype of autism) you are constantly dodging anything displayed to you as a demand (or anything you subconsciously tell yourself is a demand) and have some kind of paralysis where you can't complete that demand. The buildup of demands can cause burnout. Hope this helps.
@@sage.81for me, autistic burnout includes depression, and I was misdiagnosed with “treatment resistant depression” for about a year until I realized it was autistic burnout. A huge red flag that I was not “just depressed” came from negative reactions to typical treatments to depression. Things like anti-depressants, frequent therapy and doctors visits, TMS therapy, exercise, socializing, etc. all had no effect or made my condition worse. At times, with certain medications I would feel less depressed/suicidal and integrate back into life, but my physical condition would begin to decline and I would crash into a state of burnout all over again. So, basically in autistic burnout is your condition is made worse by things that are “supposed” to make it better. Depression episodes accompanied by extreme fatigue, noticeable loss of mental and physical function, and unexplained illness is also what tipped off my therapist to exploring autistic burnout as the phenomenon I was experiencing. I hope that helps
I found your channel a week ago I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders, but the symptoms that you experienced are what I feel I experience on a daily basis, I struggle most days to do the simplest tasks and it gets so overwhelming. I feel I have to constantly put on a different personality when I'm around others. I feel lonely and don't really have that many friends. In the country I'm in we don't have that many outlets for autistic therapy so I'm wondering if you could suggest some online sites if you have any you could share. Thank you for sharing your content is much appreciated.
I was diagnosed with autism at age 11 but no one told me that I shouldn't keep masking until this year (I am now 17) when I reached a point where trying to go to school was so exhausting and I would go to school then get home at like 4 and just sleep on the floor until someone woke me up for dinner My parents sent me to a mental health professional who said that to deel with low mood I should do more activities that I enjoy so I tried that and I kept getting worse until I spoke to one of my teachers who has ADHD and she explained that I was just doing too much and that I needed to let something stop or I would burn out. Before that point no one said anything about burnout, I just got told about meltdowns and that I needed to learn better emotional regulation so I started to force myself to shutdown instead of melting down so I ended up exhausted with so many emotions bottled up that I just couldn't function. I'm still not doing great and need to find a permanent fix but just taking a couple days to myself of just relaxing helped a bit. The problem is that I go to a state school and the majority of people there are neurotypical and if I don't mask I get bullied and no matter what the teachers do it doesn't help because people just pick on my "weird" behaviors Sorry if this seems like a rant but spaces like this where many neurodivergent people put their stories feel like a space where I can tell people what it is like for me without all the stress of face to face talking.
I’m coming to the realisation that I might be on the spectrum. But I’m scared of going to a specialist and telling them that because I think they will tell me not to worry and not look into it :(
i'm basically 99% sure i'm tistic but i'll never go to a therapist because i don't like them and sometimes a diagnosis can be more of a hinderance such as when it comes to trying to get a driving license, i can more-or-less pass as neurotypical unless people have extended contact with me
@@starryday100 I spent my teenage years watching people have conversations so i could imitate them, i have meltdowns where I stop talking, cry uncontrollably and freak out if people touch me, I feel like i'm pretending all the time and have sensory sensitivities which is why i couldn't tolerate vacuums or electric hair clippers as a kid and would only allow my hair to be cut with scissors. I do not need a person with a qualification to tell me something this obvious.
It's interesting that many r saying that they wished to be diagnosed earlier on in life, but as an early-assessed, I can't really say that's always good. I am 23 and was assessed at the age 8 but "did not meet the criteria" enough and was left without an official diagnosis, but still on the adhd and autism spectrum. This was probably because I was extremely self conscious and aware, and knew that the adults thought "there was something wrong with me", which made me so angry and wanted to prove them wrong. This probably caused inaccuracy with the assessment results. Ever since becoming associated with "being disabled" and my mum constantly telling me HOW GLAD she was that her childs not disabled, i developed a sense of disgust and embarrassment about autism and adhd, because those labels were unattractive, ugly and just yuck to wear due too all the negative associations and stereotypes. For a long time I struggled to accept myself as a neurodivergent. I only got through it by simply not thinking about it and telling myself I'm not diagnosed and am "normal". I thought that no matter how "good" I was in any aspect, being "part" autistic and adhd instantly made me unattractive and unlovable regardless. Because of this mindset, for most of my younger years I had given up on having a normal life, despite not even being officially diagnosed. I thought relationships aren't for the disabled and I have nothing to lose, so I would go ahead and do embarrassing and cringe things that would worsen my image, and enjoy that. It's only been the last few years that I have started to accept myself and not be ewed out, due to the rising awareness on the internet and the destigmatization of neurodivergency. Right now I've grown out of self disgust, thanks to people like u. I just hope i don't meet any of the ppl that knew me as the cringe back in the day lol I tried to summarize it but still an essay💀
Relatableeeee when I first got a phone that had bing or google, the first thing I searched up was "is there a sickness that others know you have and you don't?" Because I thought I was a freak, I didnt fit in and I was always copying others gestures and ways to talk
I also got diagnosed with autism at 20 years old a year ago or so (I’m turning 22 soon in October). I had no idea I was autistic during my childhood till now or know what autism was till I was like 19 or something? I did research but I don’t think I remembered telling my mum for an autism diagnosis, till one day I was at my psychiatrist appointment and we talked for some time, though I was mostly quiet and struggled to communicate and making eye contact with my psychiatrist so my mum had to stay by my side to help either talk for me if I didn’t understand the questions my psychiatrist was telling me. My psychiatrist then told me to leave the room so they could talk to my mum, so I did and sat on a chair for not sure how long, and after that and my psychiatrist sent me out with my mum and we were walking back to the car and then she told me that I have mild autism that my psychiatrist told her.
I totally know that frustration with people who think you are "faking it. Unfortunately, that was basically my whole family. I wouldn't have had a chance in he]] of being diagnosed with autism because, as I've said here in the comments many times before, I was born in the 60s. All people knew about autism then was the "refrigerator mother" myth. If you've never heard of that, it was the theory that the mother was responsible for the severely autistic traits of children who were diagnosed back then. It was thought that somehow, the mother wasn't giving enough warmth and love to her child, turning them inward toward themselves to a world only they could see, because the hapless mother was "too cold" toward her child. Or didn't know how to parent a child effectively. That was back when only the most severely autistic children were recognized as autistic. There was no high functioning category, no degrees of autism on the spectrum. You are so lucky, Morgan, that your family recognized that something was wrong and did not give up on getting you help. You are frustrated because you didn't get diagnosed until you were 20. Try not being diagnosed until 56, and dealing all your life with people not even recognizing that "something" had to be wrong. I was just thought of as a tiresome, whiney brat who couldn't pull it together and "be normal." It was horrible. Even i recognized that something was wrong, that I was "different." Pair that with severe untreated anxiety, and you have a recipe for disaster. I was so relieved when I finally could put a name to my differences. Finding out that I wasn't just a bad person who couldn't relate to anyone, was antisocial, had no empathy, just wouldn't try, and was just a hopeless case. I, too, am so frustrated and angry that it took 56 years to find out what was wrong, and that still, even now, it's a struggle to get anyone to believe that I'm autistic. My family is all gone, and even if they were still alive, they would never take me seriously and would assume it's just another "excuse" to explain away my not wanting to "try." I only have a daughter as family now. She's 24 and also thinks I'm "hopeless," "depressed," and, her words exactly, "not willing to try." Be glad you didn't have to live through the he]] of feeling totally alone and isolated, being misunderstood, frustrated with the world, and inwardly hanging by a thread while on the outside trying to "mask" as well as I could to get by without even knowing what I was doing or that I was doing it. Honestly, that's so much worse than having a family who recognized that something was not right and who realized that the behaviors weren't just you being a pain. In a backward kind of way, my family were "enablers" of the worst of my autistic symptoms. By simply giving up on me and leaving me to my confusion and frustration, they made everything worse. So that is my rant on an allistic world for today. Sorry to go on and on about everything.
I just have to comment on autistic burnout. It's really weird because when I was 22, I experienced the total autistic burnout that Morgan is talking about. When I was 21, I was in college, had a part-time job, and was living at home with my mom. For context about how it all slid downhill, I have asthma. It was not as bad then as it is now, so I had no inhalers, just a medicine that was pulled from the market in 1988 because it caused suicidal thoughts and depression in children. My asthma was different then. It was more like i had chronic bronchitis. Anyway, I started being very sick in the fall of 1986. It got worse and worse, and one night, it got so bad that I made my mom take me to one of those 24-hour, always open, urgent care clinics, and back then, neither my mom or i ever went to the doctor, so even when we were sick, so you know how sick i was. It was a disaster. The idiotic osteopath I saw, who was the only doctor at the clinic at 11 pm, diagnosed me as simply having an asthma attack and sent us home. I knew it was more than that, and at midnight, we drove all the way back (at least 20 miles) to the same urgent care, and thank goodness, my grandma's doctor was there. She was married to the idiot osteopath I saw, and they ran the urgent care clinic together. By that time, I was literally gasping for breath. I was given a breathing treatment, and the doctor could obviously see something was very wrong. It turned out that I had bacterial pneumonia that had gone septic. I was given antibacterial antibiotics, steroids, and a different inhaler, and since I was petrified of going to the emergency room, we made our way back home. It took six weeks for me to recover even a little, and I was left with severe exhaustion and heart palpitations. I could barely get out of bed, still had breathing issues, and my mother didn't know what to do with me. My mom, at that time, was working as a semi live-in care giver 60 miles away in Seattle, so I was alone most of the time. I retreated into myself and basically had an autistic nervous breakdown. I was in that state for around nine months. Then my grandma died, and we had to go to Seattle to clean out her apartment. I have to say that I loved being in Seattle. I had been born there, and we lived there until I was four before moving out to the rural south end of the state. That was very traumatic for me because, as nuero-divergent people know, any change in routine is upsetting and traumatic to autistic people. And with severe untreated anxiety on top of it, it was a horrible experience. So that was my experience with severe autistic burnout
I’m kinda mid-life diagnosed (didn’t figure out till the end of my teen years and I’m still not technically an adult) and it’s still so infuriating like I had to go through sO MUCH teen angst and depression for anyone to realize sometime was different!! I spend my entire childhood telling people something was wrong with me, that I wasn’t like other people and wasn’t going to be like other people yet. It goes hand in hand personally with another gastrointestinal issue i have (which surprise surprise can also be related to autism). Like people only listen to you after begging and complaining your entire life.
I also thought I was a narcissist. My dad was, and when I go on my explanations to people about things, I always say, "In my experience," or "this one time when I..." I was just trying to be helpful and that has become much more apparent to me. I think now that my friends know I'm diagnosed, they understand better, but I've always felt so... Self-centered when I talk like that. I'm not a narcissist...I'm autistic, and it's one of the ways I make sense of situations. I compare them to incidents that are similar from my past, and problem solve by thinking, "this worked like this when I..." Also...I think I know why God brought me to LCU...because I never would have found out if He hadn't. Here, I found friends, community, and my autism diagnosis... I kind of wonder if the reason I did so bad that first summer here is because of autistic burnout. Recently I had another episode that reminded me of it, so if it was the first time, then it was this time too. I'm facing autistic burnout, and I can only pray that I will find my way out of this funk before I fail my final classes...
Im afraid of going through a screening for autism and getting tossed out thinking im stupid, because my symptoms arent too severe but i do have almost every autism symptom. And I dont have the money. It seems like I'm just going to have to deal with this alone. I dont know what to do
The "my parents took me to a bunch of doctors, because they felt like something was wrong with me, but the doctors were clueless" hit hard. I finally got diagnosed with ADHD, Epilepsy & depression as an adult. I only got diagnosed with dyslexia & dispraxia as a child... The anger towards those doctors who didn't even bother to check for ADHD or Autism because I'm "smart" even though dyslexia & dyspraxia are common comorbidities... My epilepsy is also most likely genetic & a quick test could have shown it 😅 Right now, I'm 24 & trying to figure out how to function as a chronically ill neurodivergent person in this world 🙈
When I was 4 I had to do speech therapy and instantly all of my tutors thought I was autistic so much mum tried to diagnose me and turned out I’m not autistic. But I love trains
Funny thing is that I was a white little boy who liked trains, and airplanes, and space rockets, and army tanks, and navy ships, except it was the 1960s and 1970s and little if anything was known about anything except severe autism, if even that. Finally got diagnosed in early 2000s after a 27 year long misdiagnosis of bipolar and all the while getting worse while taking the bipolar meds. Finally a little while after receiving correct diagnosis of autism I stopped the bipolar meds cold turkey; and ya know what, the "bipolar" symptoms shortly evaporated and disappears to not return, imagine that, you cease taking psychoactive meds for a psych problem you haven't got and you get better, quickly.
It is SO confusing, right?! I was diagnosed with ADHD this year but it feels like this won't cover everything in me / my behavior / my past but I am so confused because I don't really know, what I teached myself, what ADHD caused and what my parents caused. Am I weird because my mom was over protective and I am sensitive, because I am ADHD oder am I autistic? Where does one diagnosis start and where does an other end? :'D wha
There are only three people in my high school of about 1500 people that know about my autism: my sister, my homeroom teacher and my friend who we are going to call Alexei, who has ADHD.
Thats so horrible that they deny people who need support just due to the age of the client. Like how many people out there with a less supportive system or are less lucky are going under the radar just because they missed out on the chance when they were young or were denied by PROFESSIONALS just because of damaging stereotypes? At the very least I'm glad that you were able to get out of the burnout and make something out of it, but it must've sucked for you to go through all of that.
How did you recover from burnout? I have been struggling with autistic burnout for a couple years now and am struggling to make it through high school. I need a change but I am unfortunately not in a place where I can just rest. Is there anything I can do?
As a self diagnøsed autistic teenager, I want tø be that therapist that yøu needed thrøugh the diagnøstic prøcess. The beføre, the during, and the aftermath. My gøal is tø grøw up tø be the neurødivergent-specializing therapist that everyøne is missing in this wørld and I høpe øthers will dø the same.
You can't be a "self diagnosed" autsitic person. Autism is a complex developmental disability. You can't self diagnose yourself with something like autism. Even the best psychologists around don't self diagnose because they realise how much self bias gets in the way.
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Diagnosed at an early age. Never been taught about Autism burnout and I don't think my parents have either.
lol you comment like me, tism twins😎
In a way, being a person with Autism is like being left handed in a world that only accepts right handedness is considered right and people constantly are trying to train you to be right handed and don't understand the left handedness and treat you like you're crazy for being left handed or using your left hand for tasks everyone uses their right for and practically everything is made for right handed people. Now Autism is still very different from being left handed, but the analogy is comparable in my mind.
Perfect analogy.
As a left handed autistic person, autism is much more difficult, but yes.. they’re trying to change us when there’s no point.
I’m a lefty, but don’t think I’m on the spectrum. Great analysis though.
I'm a lefty and glad we moved away from trying to convert lefties to righties
It’s FAAAAR MORE inconvenient
Morgan your life story is so relatable to me. Officially diagnosed 29 - also both autism and ADHD. I can literally share every little piece of the story except during having first solid burnout during college times I was basically misdiagnosed bipolar and/or depressive and somehow pushed through life hoping this gets better over time only to burn out more seriously in the following years after attempting to work full time multiple jobs (never was able to stay for long) and telling myself - "everyone must feel like that". Also pondering an option of being narcissist and eventually ending up being properly diagnosed. Stories like this help me feel less alone and give some hope for the future that things will be alright. Please keep up being a great part of our neurodivergent community!
SAME!!! 29, and always knew I had adhd but recently assessed that I also have autism….. and suddenly everything makes sense and it’s also a very “wtf” moment where it all comes together and now you feel like you have to learn yourself all over again! It feels like maybe it’s just a label… but…. it’s how my brain works… and having the adhd too they are always clashing and it makes life like a constant push and pull dynamic ahhhhh. But we got this!
Hi! I am also 29 and just been diagnosed autistic this week. I also have adhd, this one diagnosed 2 years ago. But the autistic stuff really makes me more confuse of how to continues with this fact. It makes sense of everything that i do my whole life.. but now i dont know where to start..any tips? Or share what you do?
I didn't realize I was masking either but I knew I wasn't being myself, it always felt like I was trying to make people accept me. I have observed other peoples behavior and ways of communication since I was a child and I got so interested in social interactions that I started researching it. Now I understand that it's because I wanted to fit in and control how I would be perceived by other people.
Oh yes I even started studying communications in university 😅
This. As an adult in my 30s, I got into body language and dialogue, analysis, healthy boundaries, and how to spot narcissistic behavior, because I would constantly attract those people. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a genuine friend.
That's exactly the same as what I was experiencing. I got interested in psychology as a teenager so I could fit in better, too
Honestly if you thought that was narcissism, you didn't know what a narcissist is and I'm sorry you felt so bad about yourself that you greatly considered that you might be one.
Yeah, I went through the same thing, except that was projected onto people from the outside. Turns out they had just as much trouble empathizing with me as I did them, and they were just picking on me because I was the minority.
Yes, that's exactly it. After realizing I'm autistic as well as being able to identify what traits I have and what makes me tick, while considering that anyone I've ever unwittingly demonized (because they hurt me deeply) could have had ASD well. It's a process, tyring to open the mind. @@polari7658
Reminder narcissists can and do sometimes work hard to get better. So if that's you reading this, you're such a king / queen / royal for that. Keep it up ✊️❤️
@@donnie1725 Thank you so much 🖤 like, for real, I have AuDHD *and* am a narcissist and this is really heartwarming, first got me emotional and then made me smile. Like, I had to do a double take on your comment, cause it's so rare that I see someone recognize us as human beings and not irredeemable, heartless monsters. Narcissism is a spectrum too, so people on it differ *a lot* from each other, and it also isn't quite what most people think it is
Also, "queen" is such a perfect choice of compliment for a narc, at least for this one 😌
The same thing happened to me
I'm undiagnosed and have not spoken to many people about this but as a 30 year old man. But your whole clip at 7:21 of this video has been me over the last 6 months researching. I considered maybe adhd, bpd, ptsd etc, but the more I dig into the autism rabbit hole and the more videos like yours I watch the more i'm like... holy shit....these people are literally describing my life with 99% accuracy. It's like they know me better than I even know myself.
Morgan, your videos have helped me so much. While my experience getting diagnosed is different from yours, the realizations that I have had since being diagnosed are so similar to yours. I’ve have spent the last two years since my diagnosis looking at my past and my autism explains so much about the difficulties I have had in life. I have lost jobs and had failed relationships that I can directly associate with my autism. I only wish that I had been diagnosed 40 years ago so that I didn’t have to struggle so long not knowing why I was the way I was. Thanks for putting yourself out there so that others can learn.
I’m 31 (I’ll be 32 this year) and I was diagnosed initially with severe autism, severe mental retardation (now called intellectual disability), and speech delay. My mom was told I would never graduate high school, never go to college and never live a normal life. I didn’t know about my diagnosis until the night before my 13th birthday and I was devastated. Everything made sense: Why I was treated differently from my sisters, why certain people didn’t want to be friends with me and why certain family members didn’t want a relationship with me. I was fortunate that I had my parents, my sisters, and my grandma (my mom’s mom) to support me. At 17, I had another Psychological Evaluation where I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and at 19, I was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS). I’ve always been stuck in this thing my whole life that I haven’t been able to put into words until recently where I’m too normal to be considered Autistic but too weird to be considered normal. I don’t like to use the word autistic for myself because people have used it to hurt me so it’s always had a negative effect on me.
Hi, Morgan. I am a student researcher for autism, and I am (and both of my kids are) autistic.
I wanted to let you know that some symptoms of autism can and do improve. I remember several stages throughout my life when I seemed to have "woken up" to the world around me. My kids have each gone through it at least once.
In autism, parts of the brain develop *differently* and at a different rate than neurotypical brains. Beyond taking longer to develop, we also master techniques to help us get through our everyday lives.
Your diagnosis story was much like mine. University is what broke me. I got my diagnosis three years ago at 43.
I can report that my executive functioning has improved with age and use. (Motherhood was a crash course in learning to function. Make sure you have support if you decide to have kids!) My anxiety has gotten worse, but I have techniques in place for that, too.
It gets better. Just do what you can in your own time. Life is not a race but a series of experiences, so take your time and enjoy yours.
I love that in your video you always say "I'm an autistic human being." thank you for that because I feel like so many people see people different from them as non human. So many people in my school need to hear this.
Oh wow, I have a similar college story. I tried to live at school and after 2 months, I just packed up my dorm and asked my parents to take me home. I tried commuting but I couldn’t handle anything and was failing too, so I dropped out. I dropped out of community college when I tried to go back a year later. And then finally I got accommodations in 2012 and went to college part time. I have a BA and MA now, but I had to do things differently. And I had a ton of support from my parents like you did.
I also live in the same state as you and am a former provider, so I know what the providers here can be like.. I am so happy to hear you had a therapist who figured it out. Your formal diagnosis itself sounds really exhausting though, and same here.
I’m glad you found that social media works for you ! I love your presence and advocacy and learn a lot from you as a fellow autistic. Thanks for all you do 😊
I was diagnosed at 63. So I’ve been lost in life and constantly told , it was always my fault I didn’t have friends or couldn’t communicate with my mother. I was top of the class, with no friends. I’ve live a stressful hard life with no supports. No autism diagnosis in the 1970’s. My hope for women today is they can live a better fulfilled life. I used to think I was not good enough for anyone to get close to me because they would discover I’m really different on the inside.
I'm so happy doctors & therapists are becoming more knowledgeable about ASD. I had severe sensory issues as a child, multiple stims, screamed when otger children touched me, hid in the coat closet to get away from them, cut all my tags out of clothing, couldn't hear while maintaining eye contact or concentrate in class with the bright, buzzing lights & NO ONE suspected ASD until many, many years later when I stumbled onto an "Aspergers Quotient" test online & scored a 48 of 50. Love your channel, Morgan!!
When you said you are still lonely, it hit me deep. I think we autistic people deal with that long-term. But it sounds like you have a great family, just like I do. That's what really helps us.
My clients have this experience over and over and over. It's a HUGE privilege to be the therapist that helps people realize that autism or ADHD is what's going on with them. The strange experience is that people almost NEVER fake autism. In fact, I've never run across that ever. Every person who has suspected it have turned out to meet almost all of the criteria, and certainly met enough to make a diagnosis. Channels like this are a super useful path for people like you watching this to find therapists like me and get the help they need. I will also say we REALLY need more therapists who understand autism and work with people on the spectrum. If you're watching this and think this could be you, please consider taking this path as a therapist who specialises in autism spectrum disorder (and while you're at it, ADHD). THANK YOU Morgan for sharing your story!
Do you practice on the US? Any suggestions on where to get adult diagnosis?
Do you practice in the US? Any suggestions on where to get adult diagnosis?
There is nothing "wrong" with you. Society is wrong for not accommodating us. Society doesn't fit. I'm glad you got diagnosed. ❤
I love hearing your story; being able to sit and relate so hard on so many levels with a person is so refreshing. It's definitely lonely trying to find real connections vs online ones, but we will survive.
Hey Morgan. So great to find another awesome Autistic content creator! We should do a collab video.
I think it'd be so cool if you guys did a collab! :)
Thank you so much for your content! I'm a 54 year old female who experienced a severe burnout a couple of months ago. Looking at the symtoms I learned about autistic burnout and about autism in general. All my struggles finally made sense. I talked to a neurologist who diagnosed me with depression a couple of years ago. He seemed to get really angry, I had no chance to explain anything . He told me "we' re all a little bit autistic" and "there's no treatment anyways". Although I'm absolutely sure about my diagnosis, I'll seek a formal diagnosis at some point but I still recover from that neurologists-appointment.
Thank you again, I'm looking forward to watching more of your videos, they're so relatable and informative.
I’m sorry the neurologist you saw dismissed your symptoms. But, when you know- you know. And it sounds like you know. I am a 56 yr old woman who was diagnosed with ADHD 20 years ago, but I knew there was more to the story. I kind of stumbled on my autism diagnosis through issues my teenage daughter was having. You can still continue to research, get coaching, therapy etc. with a self diagnosis. Then, if you still feel like you want an “official” diagnosis you’ll be armed with the information about yourself if someone tries to shut you down again. It’s especially hard when you’re “high functioning” bc you are trying to operate in the world at a higher level and seen as neurotypical, but it takes so much more out of you just to keep up with your co-workers, friends, neighbors, etc. Good luck to you😊
@@supriyachesser6102Thank you for your advice and kind words!
My story mirrors yours to a scary degree; misdiagnosed as a child, had a 'normal' life with a job, friends, hobbies etc. but always felt like SOMETHING was off... And I kept putting it off until I also had a burnout during college, spent a few years trying to solve the wrong problems and now have been working through my diagnosis for the past year or so.
This is exactly what I’m going through tighter now. I’m 19 and just failed some classes in school because I think I’m starting to feel the beginnings of burn out. I’ve suspected being autistic for a while but seeing my life experience mirrored so clearly in yours maybe will help me get ahead of the eventual burn out and make it at least a little bit less harsh on me. Thank you for sharing your story.
How could you tell that you have a burnout when you don't even have a diagnosis of autism? Suspecting you have it isn't the same as actually having it. You probably aren't autistic, it's actually far less common than these self appointed spokespeople make it out to be.
You were so lucky to find that therapist! I went to so many therapists over the years and NONE of them ever figured out it was autism even though the signs were very clear… I sought my diagnosis thanks to Love on the Spectrum and RUclips!
Your videos have definitely helped me realize that I may have autism in addition to my ADHD. The ways you explain the struggles of having both made me feel a sense of belonging. I am trying to get diagnosed for autism at the moment.
Thank you Morgan :) Our daughter was diagnosed a couple of years ago but there really wasn't any follow-up education for any of us. We learn a lot from your videos even though we have a long way to go still.
Thank you so much for this video, I've been diagnosed a couple months ago with autism and adhd and now my life has finally sense. Thank you so much for all the videos you share, they make me feel less alone and understood!
I want to thank you for sharing your experiences. Your videos have helped me understand why my life has been so difficult. It is crazy how there is nothing in the medical community in place to help adults with autism. It's up to the autism community to generate autistic professionals in this field. You are doing a great service providing guidance for those of us who can't get it anywhere else. Keep it up. I wish you continued success , well being and lots of love and happiness.
Thank you so much for all the posting you have done. It has helped me understand the autism that runs in my family (including myself) and break the cycle of shame around it by sharing your videos with my family members. Its funny to me how I never thought I was struggling more than other kids growing up but I started my first office job (and my job is very boring) with mostly remote employees that all work very separately and all of my neurodivergent struggles came to surface right away.
Thank you Morgan for sharing your story! You're parents are MVP's 😍
I relate to you so much and you actually helped me to pursue ADHD diagnosis! I'm so happy life turned out good for you and I hope it will for me too. I'm 25 and currently (6 months after diagnosis) I'm past the period of hope/excitement and entered the phase of anger and like grief about it?
Your videos make me feel valid and hopeful, thank you ❤️ I wish to join your neurodivergent trip one day
Hello Morgan! Your videos have been a lifeline to me as a mom of an 18 year old who is going for her neuropsych eval next week. She suffered from what looks like autistic burnout in the fall of her freshman year. We are also from MA. Do you know if there are any support groups in MA for newly diagnosed autistic young adults? Please keep up your great work - it's so important!
Diagnosed at an early age, wasn’t told I was autistic until i was 14 for high school cuz I was getting an interview for a high school (private school) and their reason was “I was gonna blame all my problems to autism.” I thought I was normal all my life until that moment. It took a while for me to process it ( over a year) then it hit me, a lot of my problems stems from my trauma. My dad works with autistic children and he doesn’t understand me one bit. I feel your pain. We are all here for you.
I'm 26 and I went through all the same things when I went to college and have related to all of your videos. I'm pretty sure that I am AuDHD as well because it just explains so much but im having a very hard time finding a doctor so I can get a psych referral. I've been researching autism and adhd for over a year now and I've long suspected I had add or adhd and was always shut down immediately because I didn't fit the stereotypes. It's so reassuring to finally be able to relate to someone, so glad I found your videos!!❤
Thank you Morgan. I was 42 when moved to a new country and I had really hard time adapting - and then someone told me that I might just have been autistic my entire life. The word 'autistic' is sometimes unfortunately used as a slur in my country of origin. So I was thoroughly surprised when after doing a long and extensive research and taking all the tests and self-assessments I could find (I know how ironic this sounds in a hindsight) I ended up with test results where my numbers were really high even for autistic people. You are one of the few first autistic people I found through social media who pointed me in the right direction. What you are doing is very important. I wish you and all of us will find - or create - all the support we need.
Those online tests are far from accurate. I hope you got an actual clinical diagnosis from a proper professional before deciding you were autistic.
God. I'm still angry about going undiagnosed, even though I was literally the stereotype you mentioned (white boy who loved trains). I know there's nothing I can do and I am diagnosed now, but it's tough not to ruminate about feeling failed.
I wish I would have been diagnosed at an early age, but for me it happened no sooner than at the age of 47!!! I've been thinking a lot what my life could have been like if diagnosed as a kid... Work life has always been such a struggle for me and at the moment I've been on a sick leave for nearly seven months now bc of an autistic burnout. Love your content here on RUclips ❤
I'm going to get tested in may for if I have ADHD or Autism. I'm so sure that I have Autism that I can't wait to get tested because I want to know if I'm correct. If I do have Autism I do think I'm going through autistic burnout because even if I'm not autistic I put up a mask and I'm SO tired of it. I feel like I'm showing way to much emotion at school, I feel like I could pass out because I'm so tied of it. I love your channel and you are one of the ppl who help me with figuring out who I am.
Isn't autism officially a disability? I was going to pursue a diagnosis with the expectation that I could get disability benefits, like reducing my utility bills or qualifying for reduced fares and other such things. But yeah, I've noticed that all the resources I hear about are for autistic children only. Don't autistic children obviously become autistic adults? Autism doesn't go away. We don't outgrow it. It doesn't fade. We just maybe start to look more "normal" because we learn to cope and mask, but we just become increasingly exhausted. My part-time job is all I can handle, but it doesn't come close to paying for all my expenses and offers no health insurance or job security. We deserve better.
It is a disability, yes.
Getting disability for it (certainly in the US) is something as an adult that is more problem than solution unless you are in a condition where you can't work and make more. SSI doesn't pay nearly enough and SSDI pays based on your earnings history and requires a high enough pay over time and credits before you qualify for much of anything with it still being much less than you'd hopefully be able to earn. SSI won't be paid if you have enough income and resources in the form of savings, so that's problematic. Even then, currently it maxes out at $991 or less than that per month (I forget the exact number, but without section 8 housing, you aren't living on your own and even with it, you'll need to be creative).
Because of that, if I ever qualify for SSI, that means I'm destitute and unless I'm mistaken, I'd have to use up my 401k as well.
There's a non-zero chance of me not being able to be gainfully employed due to health, and should that happen, I'd apply for SSDI. I'd still be eating through my 401k which may not be enough for a reasonable retirement.
Epic story Morgan, I only knew stereotypes but I’m becoming a better human thanks to people like you. I know now why the young autistic lad did so poorly at our UK state school. Nobody even knows about sensory or masking issues there. I wonder if the health and teaching professions should get some formal training on autism.
Thank you for sharing your experience and I really appreciate your story.
I have been in and out of therapy for many years. Not really because of a mental health issue per se. But, because of trauma I was enduring. You would be surprised how often different mental/emotional issues are misdiagnosed. There is help out there though. Sometimes you have to look long and hard. I'm sorry you had to endure not finding help because you are an adult with autism. I am blown away by that. It's unacceptable as far as I'm concerned. I'm going to see my therapist tomorrow and I will be talking to her about that. I want to know why this is happening. You have plenty of friends and encouragement online. Just be careful who you let into your life. Especially, if it is someone you met online. I know you're an adult. But, please allow your parents to help you and pay attention to their advice. They can see danger that you can't see. You're a sweet girl, and a very strong person. Best wishes with your RUclips channel! I'm sure it is so needed to help others to cope. I'm glad I came across your videos today. Thank you, Jeanette
i was thankful to have gotten diagnoised with Autism at an very young age but again didnt know i was autistic till middle school but i had my many share of meltdowns, burnout moments and constant wonders on what the hell is wrong with me even if knowing what autism was and i used to hate that i couldn't be as socialable and this or that as many others and hell an autistic care center is what helped me with getting an job after struggling with getting one for almost 3 years after i graduated high school (back in 2015) and it is definitely crazy they don't know have anything to help autistic adults and all that
anyways thank youu for sharing your story, been loving your content on here and on TikTok/Instagram and it's the most relatable stuff i've ever seen :} i also have signs of ADHD as well, i also live in Massachusetts (the Worcester Area), i love writing music, i also post on RUclips and TikTok and i still occansional struggle with my identity but i try to embrace good vibes and positivity and making people happy, anyways again thank you for sharing all this with us, keep up the amazing work :}
I am so glad you shared your diagnosis and also I’m glad you started posting about autism. I came across some of your shorts and it made me suspect that I have autism. Because of the experiences you shared. Some experiences you shared made me take a look back and be like ohh I do this or I did this. I didn’t even realize it. Also when you talk about autistic burnout and masking. It felt like something clicked I’ve been struggling with anxiety for the past couple years and it’s mainly social issues but I didn’t have symptoms of social anxiety. I realized the anxiety was related to masking. I have ADHD and growing up nobody really noticed that I displayed any traits of autism. I had majority of traits of ADHD and was told by my doctor that I’ll grow out of it. I want to get a formal diagnosis but idk how to bring it up to my current doctor or how to go about a diagnosis.
You probably don't. It's a lot more rare than people on the internet make it out to be. If you've made it to adulthood without anyone picking up on anything you probably don't have it. Most of those symptoms she talks about are relatable to most people.
Thanks for posting long form!!!
I love your videos and content. I was diagnosed with autism at 31 and since I have learned more about it it changed my life and made feel way less depressed. Thank you for sharing your story!
Remember to try surround yourself with good wholesome friends that aren't overly judgemental and at least try to be understanding and aren't toxic. It will help you and your mental health greatly. It won't get rid of the Autism cause that can't be cured, but surrounding yourself with the right people will still benefit you greatly and many of the stories I'm hearing make it seem like things were worse for you because of the type of people you were surrounded with. I was diagnosed early, but other than Special Ed and speech therapy in Elementary and a 504 plan most teachers ignored or didn't bother to read and my parents never bothered to tell everything it covered and my parents knowing I had it and trying (and sometimes over trying to help me) and the fact I knew I had it,...other than that, being diagnosed early didn't benefit me much. I was very secretive about it. The big difference with both of us growing up I'm noticing is the type of people we've been around, something I may have taken forgranted, but I think it was having the right kind of people in my life that lead me to not have as extreme of struggles in my childhood as you did. I don't know. Maybe I don't know truly know what I am talking about, but surrounding yourself with good peers and friends is good for anyone's mental health.
Excellent video Morgan! Your videos are always so helpful and informative.
I was diagnosed with autism in 2020 as a 10 year old but was diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety and IED (Intermittent explosive disorder) all before I was even in primary school. Whenever I would tell an adult I had autism they would always say “Oh, you don’t seem like you have autism.” Which made me feel like I was being a ‘fake’. Whenever I would talk about my autism to other kids they would say “but you don’t act autistic” or “you don’t do *autistic* things” and act like I was a complete stranger, even though I was the same person from when before I told them.
Hi Morgan! I recently have absolutely adored (and even related to, in some cases) much of the content on your Instagram, and being autistic myself, I've found much comfort in sending any reels I find of yours back and forth between one of my neurodivergent friends. Even though they themselves aren't autistic, over the year and a half we've known eachother they've began to understand what makes my brain tick and they're very protective of me, which honestly I'm glad about haha!
All to say though, your content is wonderful and keep doin' what you're doin!!
Thank you so much for this! Your story is so empowering. My daughter is 15, and we finally got her diagnosed after years of struggling academically by the end of 2nd grade, and she has been struggling to catch up since. Now this year she is taking AP World history! But we are going to have to fight for her 504 Plan to be followed. I want to find a way to help explain her autism to her, and I think your videos are so helpful!
you parents are amazing
i am so thankful for this video, I feel so seen when watching this and this helped me so much. i didn't know much about autisim until i did research about it. i don't really know what I'm saying anymore but thanks for the video
I discovered your videos and i am getting an official assessment before end of the month.
I do not know how to feel about it, i lived my life and "dealt" with it but... i am avoiding thinking about the past
I am not from the US and came to the US for school at 18
Alot of your story fits mine sadly. i finally graduated recently at the age of 27-28 after 10 years of university and switching major and "burnout" and depression etc...
was forced diagnosed with ADHD + Others at 22 and the diagnosis changed across the years.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it's really really helpful to hear! This is so interesting to me as someone who's very recently tried pursuing a diagnosis for both mental health and neurodivergency at 21, as a woman. I'm almost wondering, after watching content from you and from others, if I've been a bit brushed off as well. I had a conversation with a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with low-grade depression, anxiety, ADHD, and autism, but it seemed like she was biased towards the mental health simply because I did well in school up until college...where I promptly crashed and burned and had to take a semester off to even feel like a person again. Something about her telling me I should have done poorly in school in order to be fully autistic or have ADHD just feels...off, especially as any depressive symptoms or anxiety symptoms seem either temporary or set off by other factors - such as intense burnout, which I'm thinking sounds kind of like autistic burnout, now. Hm. Food for thought!
I was diagnosed last year at 43, and if Covid lockdown hadn't hit and started a downward spiral for me, I may not have ever been diagnosed. But I was struggling a whole lot and my therapist one day just said "Hey, don't take this wrong, but I think you might be autistic." The moment she said that, it was like my brain immediately knew. The way I operated as a kid and as an adult made absolutely perfect sense. I already knew quite a bit about "standard" autism from working with autistic kids as a substitute teacher while in college, but it made so much more sense why I was so much more successful with those kids than other subs and why I had all the work I ever wanted. The night before I went in for testing, I let my friends know I had to leave our gaming session early and why and one of them said "Oh, you absolutely are. You don't even need testing for me to know you are."
Also, I had a very different testing experience. I quite enjoyed the process of getting tested and it fascinated me to no end. I would probably do it again, given the opportunity. Mine was done at a place associated with Iowa State University and I'm pretty sure the folks that did my assessment thought I was actually bonkers. When they asked if I wanted a break for lunch, I was like "Nah, let's just keep going. Taking a break might ruin my flow. But feel free to swap around so you can take breaks." Then they asked me about every hour if I needed a break or to take lunch.
My mom struggled with it a bunch, though. She's the kind of person that feels guilty about everything and I know she felt guilty about the way my parents treated me at times while I was growing up. I don't fault them; it isn't like there was a ton of material available about high-intelligence, high-masking autistic people in the 80's and 90's. But I do wish I had known so that I wouldn't have tried to go away to college. I needed time to recover from middle and high school, although I didn't know it, and staying home would have made things that much easier.
Thanks for sharing Morgan. You are really helping people by telling your story and your experience ❤
I was diagnosed with Autism last year at the end of May at 28.😅
(Diagnosed with ADHD the year before). It's a journey and I'm so glad you have been brave enough to share your journey with us. ❤ It's wild to think about how often we are misdiagnosed until they find out its Autism in pink 😂
I love your long form youtube videos ❤️
me too!
Diagnosed at age 39 in August. Level 2 here. ADHD - inattentive as well as a cognitive disability. 🤦🏼♀️. Trying to find resources for help. It's a challenge.
Just got diagnosed at age 62, almost 63, though I've suspected that I was autistic for about 15 years. The diagnosis does make my life make sense now. As a person of color, autism is hard to figure out because we face so much discrimination due to racism.
You still working and if so what do you do?
@@t.terrell7037 I work part-time as a substitute teacher even though I have a doctorate and license to practice law.
@@t.terrell7037 I work part time as a substitute teacher, even though I have a Ph.D. and a license to practice law.
Can you please talk more about the symptoms of autism? I suspect i might have it and I want to know more. Wish you the best Morgan ❤
You probably don't. It's a lot more rare than people on the internet make it out to be. If you've made it to adulthood without anyone picking up on anything you probably don't have it.
From my experience, it's not that people don't help Adults with Autism, it's that everyone is more interested in more severe cases and when you do get help, it's the wrong kind and a lot of systems that are supposed to help overcomplicate the process of getting services to help you. Either way you are stuck with it for life and stuck knowing about it for life, but you'll be okay. You'll find and develop new ways to cope and develop. To be honest it feels like society response to Autism whether knowing or unknowingly creates more issues than the Autism itself, but maybe I'm crazy.
Thank you for this video! I didn't know i needed to listen to this!
You occur to me as such a pleasant person, Morgan. :) Don't feel you can't be yourself !
So relatable except I had to start seeing someone about autism after I saw something relatable autism related on RUclips and twitter, and I just started seeing my psychologist/therapist about it
Thanks for telling the cool story :) I also didn't know what autism was until I was diagnosed with it so yeah
Im so sad about what you mentioned about no support, i started to look at first into ADHD but I didn't felt that the picture was complete until I started to look at autism, i was thinking about getting myself diagnosed but I'm a Chilean who live in a super tiny place in Germany for my husband work so here there's no so much help or professionals, i constantly feel the imposter syndrome like you are not that so i thought that the diagnosis could help to receive help but apparently is not helpful, so thanks to you and other ppl for talking about this otherwise i could still thinking "what's wrong with me" 😢❤
20…..20 YEARS OLD. OH MY GOD. I thought I was late diagnosed but I was diagnosed at 13 ❤. Even at 13 many people would not test me. I had to do OT as not only do I have autism, I also have dysgraphia and ADHD. And I had to go to 3 centre to find one which would help. My mom didn’t know any thing about disabilities and my school told her that I was lazy and that she was not a good parent (I left that school). But now that I see your videos I am more educated about autism. I wish people knew about the types of dyslexia and autism spectrum disorder. I would make life so much better. And all the stereotypes don’t help at all. Everyone I know in school thinks I’m faking even though I have 3 reports 😅. I just wish they would understand 😢
PS: I am 13 rn
I'm 27 getting diagnosed with adhd Autism and EDS X
31
@@belorama8really wow, in India u won’t even get diagnosed
33 here. Sadly. I probably have adhd too but I've not been assessed for that
12:55 took me about 3 years before I gathered up enough concentration and willpower to find adult services and support, for in-person tools and help. Great stuff
How do you know if you're experiencing autistic burn out or depression? And is it possible to be struggling with both at the same time?
Yes, it is definitely possible to struggle with both of those. To have an accurate estimation of whether you are autistic or not, I would recommend:
- checking the DSM5/looking at videos TRANSLATING what the DSM5 is trying to say, since they use complex English.
- doing ACCURATE self assessment tests
- checking out the pages of autistic creators who share their stories/relatable shorts/tiktoks, to see if you relate to them
- keep in mind that you could also have PDA (pathological demand avoidance), which could be the root of your autistic burnout.
Thank you for listening!!
@@pwqshiiv. Thank you ❤
But how do I know if I'm dealing with just burn out, just depression, or both?
@@sage.81 well, depressive burnout is usually insinuated due to the lack of dopamine and motivation to do tasks. It is not demand avoidance, whereas if you have pathological demand avoidance (subtype of autism) you are constantly dodging anything displayed to you as a demand (or anything you subconsciously tell yourself is a demand) and have some kind of paralysis where you can't complete that demand. The buildup of demands can cause burnout. Hope this helps.
@@sage.81for me, autistic burnout includes depression, and I was misdiagnosed with “treatment resistant depression” for about a year until I realized it was autistic burnout. A huge red flag that I was not “just depressed” came from negative reactions to typical treatments to depression. Things like anti-depressants, frequent therapy and doctors visits, TMS therapy, exercise, socializing, etc. all had no effect or made my condition worse. At times, with certain medications I would feel less depressed/suicidal and integrate back into life, but my physical condition would begin to decline and I would crash into a state of burnout all over again. So, basically in autistic burnout is your condition is made worse by things that are “supposed” to make it better. Depression episodes accompanied by extreme fatigue, noticeable loss of mental and physical function, and unexplained illness is also what tipped off my therapist to exploring autistic burnout as the phenomenon I was experiencing. I hope that helps
I found your channel a week ago I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders, but the symptoms that you experienced are what I feel I experience on a daily basis, I struggle most days to do the simplest tasks and it gets so overwhelming. I feel I have to constantly put on a different personality when I'm around others. I feel lonely and don't really have that many friends. In the country I'm in we don't have that many outlets for autistic therapy so I'm wondering if you could suggest some online sites if you have any you could share. Thank you for sharing your content is much appreciated.
I was diagnosed with autism at age 11 but no one told me that I shouldn't keep masking until this year (I am now 17) when I reached a point where trying to go to school was so exhausting and I would go to school then get home at like 4 and just sleep on the floor until someone woke me up for dinner
My parents sent me to a mental health professional who said that to deel with low mood I should do more activities that I enjoy so I tried that and I kept getting worse until I spoke to one of my teachers who has ADHD and she explained that I was just doing too much and that I needed to let something stop or I would burn out.
Before that point no one said anything about burnout, I just got told about meltdowns and that I needed to learn better emotional regulation so I started to force myself to shutdown instead of melting down so I ended up exhausted with so many emotions bottled up that I just couldn't function.
I'm still not doing great and need to find a permanent fix but just taking a couple days to myself of just relaxing helped a bit.
The problem is that I go to a state school and the majority of people there are neurotypical and if I don't mask I get bullied and no matter what the teachers do it doesn't help because people just pick on my "weird" behaviors
Sorry if this seems like a rant but spaces like this where many neurodivergent people put their stories feel like a space where I can tell people what it is like for me without all the stress of face to face talking.
I’m coming to the realisation that I might be on the spectrum. But I’m scared of going to a specialist and telling them that because I think they will tell me not to worry and not look into it :(
Please….u have to go. No need to be scared ❤❤❤
same(
i'm basically 99% sure i'm tistic but i'll never go to a therapist because i don't like them and sometimes a diagnosis can be more of a hinderance such as when it comes to trying to get a driving license, i can more-or-less pass as neurotypical unless people have extended contact with me
@@SIGSEGV1337You probably aren't. It's less common than these spokespeople pretend it is. You'll never know without a clinical diagnosis.
@@starryday100 I spent my teenage years watching people have conversations so i could imitate them, i have meltdowns where I stop talking, cry uncontrollably and freak out if people touch me, I feel like i'm pretending all the time and have sensory sensitivities which is why i couldn't tolerate vacuums or electric hair clippers as a kid and would only allow my hair to be cut with scissors.
I do not need a person with a qualification to tell me something this obvious.
You're so brave girl!!!
I like your speechpattern! It's like music to me 😄
It's interesting that many r saying that they wished to be diagnosed earlier on in life, but as an early-assessed, I can't really say that's always good.
I am 23 and was assessed at the age 8 but "did not meet the criteria" enough and was left without an official diagnosis, but still on the adhd and autism spectrum.
This was probably because I was extremely self conscious and aware, and knew that the adults thought "there was something wrong with me", which made me so angry and wanted to prove them wrong. This probably caused inaccuracy with the assessment results.
Ever since becoming associated with "being disabled" and my mum constantly telling me HOW GLAD she was that her childs not disabled, i developed a sense of disgust and embarrassment about autism and adhd, because those labels were unattractive, ugly and just yuck to wear due too all the negative associations and stereotypes.
For a long time I struggled to accept myself as a neurodivergent. I only got through it by simply not thinking about it and telling myself I'm not diagnosed and am "normal". I thought that no matter how "good" I was in any aspect, being "part" autistic and adhd instantly made me unattractive and unlovable regardless.
Because of this mindset, for most of my younger years I had given up on having a normal life, despite not even being officially diagnosed. I thought relationships aren't for the disabled and I have nothing to lose, so I would go ahead and do embarrassing and cringe things that would worsen my image, and enjoy that.
It's only been the last few years that I have started to accept myself and not be ewed out, due to the rising awareness on the internet and the destigmatization of neurodivergency. Right now I've grown out of self disgust, thanks to people like u.
I just hope i don't meet any of the ppl that knew me as the cringe back in the day lol
I tried to summarize it but still an essay💀
Relatableeeee when I first got a phone that had bing or google, the first thing I searched up was "is there a sickness that others know you have and you don't?" Because I thought I was a freak, I didnt fit in and I was always copying others gestures and ways to talk
1:57 this actually sums up my entire life omg
I also got diagnosed with autism at 20 years old a year ago or so (I’m turning 22 soon in October). I had no idea I was autistic during my childhood till now or know what autism was till I was like 19 or something? I did research but I don’t think I remembered telling my mum for an autism diagnosis, till one day I was at my psychiatrist appointment and we talked for some time, though I was mostly quiet and struggled to communicate and making eye contact with my psychiatrist so my mum had to stay by my side to help either talk for me if I didn’t understand the questions my psychiatrist was telling me. My psychiatrist then told me to leave the room so they could talk to my mum, so I did and sat on a chair for not sure how long, and after that and my psychiatrist sent me out with my mum and we were walking back to the car and then she told me that I have mild autism that my psychiatrist told her.
I totally know that frustration with people who think you are "faking it. Unfortunately, that was basically my whole family. I wouldn't have had a chance in he]] of being diagnosed with autism because, as I've said here in the comments many times before, I was born in the 60s. All people knew about autism then was the "refrigerator mother" myth. If you've never heard of that, it was the theory that the mother was responsible for the severely autistic traits of children who were diagnosed back then. It was thought that somehow, the mother wasn't giving enough warmth and love to her child, turning them inward toward themselves to a world only they could see, because the hapless mother was "too cold" toward her child. Or didn't know how to parent a child effectively. That was back when only the most severely autistic children were recognized as autistic. There was no high functioning category, no degrees of autism on the spectrum. You are so lucky, Morgan, that your family recognized that something was wrong and did not give up on getting you help. You are frustrated because you didn't get diagnosed until you were 20. Try not being diagnosed until 56, and dealing all your life with people not even recognizing that "something" had to be wrong. I was just thought of as a tiresome, whiney brat who couldn't pull it together and "be normal." It was horrible. Even i recognized that something was wrong, that I was "different." Pair that with severe untreated anxiety, and you have a recipe for disaster. I was so relieved when I finally could put a name to my differences. Finding out that I wasn't just a bad person who couldn't relate to anyone, was antisocial, had no empathy, just wouldn't try, and was just a hopeless case. I, too, am so frustrated and angry that it took 56 years to find out what was wrong, and that still, even now, it's a struggle to get anyone to believe that I'm autistic. My family is all gone, and even if they were still alive, they would never take me seriously and would assume it's just another "excuse" to explain away my not wanting to "try." I only have a daughter as family now. She's 24 and also thinks I'm "hopeless," "depressed," and, her words exactly, "not willing to try." Be glad you didn't have to live through the he]] of feeling totally alone and isolated, being misunderstood, frustrated with the world, and inwardly hanging by a thread while on the outside trying to "mask" as well as I could to get by without even knowing what I was doing or that I was doing it. Honestly, that's so much worse than having a family who recognized that something was not right and who realized that the behaviors weren't just you being a pain. In a backward kind of way, my family were "enablers" of the worst of my autistic symptoms. By simply giving up on me and leaving me to my confusion and frustration, they made everything worse. So that is my rant on an allistic world for today. Sorry to go on and on about everything.
Thank you this is very helpful I appreciate what you do
Thank you!❤❤❤
I just have to comment on autistic burnout. It's really weird because when I was 22, I experienced the total autistic burnout that Morgan is talking about. When I was 21, I was in college, had a part-time job, and was living at home with my mom. For context about how it all slid downhill, I have asthma. It was not as bad then as it is now, so I had no inhalers, just a medicine that was pulled from the market in 1988 because it caused suicidal thoughts and depression in children. My asthma was different then. It was more like i had chronic bronchitis. Anyway, I started being very sick in the fall of 1986. It got worse and worse, and one night, it got so bad that I made my mom take me to one of those 24-hour, always open, urgent care clinics, and back then, neither my mom or i ever went to the doctor, so
even when we were sick, so you know how sick i was. It was a disaster. The idiotic osteopath I saw, who was the only doctor at the clinic at 11 pm, diagnosed me as simply having an asthma attack and sent us home. I knew it was more than that, and at midnight, we drove all the way back (at least 20 miles) to the same urgent care, and thank goodness, my grandma's doctor was there. She was married to the idiot osteopath I saw, and they ran the urgent care clinic together. By that time, I was literally gasping for breath. I was given a breathing treatment, and the doctor could obviously see something was very wrong. It turned out that I had bacterial pneumonia that had gone septic. I was given antibacterial antibiotics, steroids, and a different inhaler, and since I was petrified of going to the emergency room, we made our way back home. It took six weeks for me to recover even a little, and I was left with severe exhaustion and heart palpitations. I could barely get out of bed, still had breathing issues, and my mother didn't know what to do with me. My mom, at that time, was working as a semi live-in care giver 60 miles away in Seattle, so I was alone most of the time. I retreated into myself and basically had an autistic nervous breakdown. I was in that state for around nine months. Then my grandma died, and we had to go to Seattle to clean out her apartment. I have to say that I loved being in Seattle. I had been born there, and we lived there until I was four before moving out to the rural south end of the state. That was very traumatic for me because, as nuero-divergent people know, any change in routine is upsetting and traumatic to autistic people. And with severe untreated anxiety on top of it, it was a horrible experience. So that was my experience with severe autistic burnout
I’m kinda mid-life diagnosed (didn’t figure out till the end of my teen years and I’m still not technically an adult) and it’s still so infuriating like I had to go through sO MUCH teen angst and depression for anyone to realize sometime was different!! I spend my entire childhood telling people something was wrong with me, that I wasn’t like other people and wasn’t going to be like other people yet. It goes hand in hand personally with another gastrointestinal issue i have (which surprise surprise can also be related to autism). Like people only listen to you after begging and complaining your entire life.
Hiii love your channel omg ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
So sorry 😔 hope your having a a great day
I also thought I was a narcissist.
My dad was, and when I go on my explanations to people about things, I always say, "In my experience," or "this one time when I..."
I was just trying to be helpful and that has become much more apparent to me. I think now that my friends know I'm diagnosed, they understand better, but I've always felt so... Self-centered when I talk like that.
I'm not a narcissist...I'm autistic, and it's one of the ways I make sense of situations.
I compare them to incidents that are similar from my past, and problem solve by thinking, "this worked like this when I..."
Also...I think I know why God brought me to LCU...because I never would have found out if He hadn't.
Here, I found friends, community, and my autism diagnosis...
I kind of wonder if the reason I did so bad that first summer here is because of autistic burnout.
Recently I had another episode that reminded me of it, so if it was the first time, then it was this time too.
I'm facing autistic burnout, and I can only pray that I will find my way out of this funk before I fail my final classes...
Im afraid of going through a screening for autism and getting tossed out thinking im stupid, because my symptoms arent too severe but i do have almost every autism symptom. And I dont have the money. It seems like I'm just going to have to deal with this alone. I dont know what to do
I completely understand you, if you feel like you are Autistic don't give up on looking for help
The "my parents took me to a bunch of doctors, because they felt like something was wrong with me, but the doctors were clueless" hit hard. I finally got diagnosed with ADHD, Epilepsy & depression as an adult. I only got diagnosed with dyslexia & dispraxia as a child...
The anger towards those doctors who didn't even bother to check for ADHD or Autism because I'm "smart" even though dyslexia & dyspraxia are common comorbidities... My epilepsy is also most likely genetic & a quick test could have shown it 😅
Right now, I'm 24 & trying to figure out how to function as a chronically ill neurodivergent person in this world 🙈
Tysm for sharing your story!! ❤
When I was 4 I had to do speech therapy and instantly all of my tutors thought I was autistic so much mum tried to diagnose me and turned out I’m not autistic. But I love trains
Self diagnosed at 39. I was diagnosed adhd at 38 but I’m just not sure I even want to pursue an official diagnosis for autism.
Funny thing is that I was a white little boy who liked trains, and airplanes, and space rockets, and army tanks, and navy ships, except it was the 1960s and 1970s and little if anything was known about anything except severe autism, if even that. Finally got diagnosed in early 2000s after a 27 year long misdiagnosis of bipolar and all the while getting worse while taking the bipolar meds. Finally a little while after receiving correct diagnosis of autism I stopped the bipolar meds cold turkey; and ya know what, the "bipolar" symptoms shortly evaporated and disappears to not return, imagine that, you cease taking psychoactive meds for a psych problem you haven't got and you get better, quickly.
Thank you for sharing with us! 😁
I am having trouble knowing if I had autism or not, I have been diagnosed with adhd as a child but now I think it might be autism or both.
It is SO confusing, right?! I was diagnosed with ADHD this year but it feels like this won't cover everything in me / my behavior / my past but I am so confused because I don't really know, what I teached myself, what ADHD caused and what my parents caused. Am I weird because my mom was over protective and I am sensitive, because I am ADHD oder am I autistic? Where does one diagnosis start and where does an other end? :'D wha
thank you so much for sharing so much and explaining things. can you recommend any books about autism? i hope you have a beautiful day
Great video really interesting
I find your videos helpful. thank you
There are only three people in my high school of about 1500 people that know about my autism: my sister, my homeroom teacher and my friend who we are going to call Alexei, who has ADHD.
Thats so horrible that they deny people who need support just due to the age of the client. Like how many people out there with a less supportive system or are less lucky are going under the radar just because they missed out on the chance when they were young or were denied by PROFESSIONALS just because of damaging stereotypes?
At the very least I'm glad that you were able to get out of the burnout and make something out of it, but it must've sucked for you to go through all of that.
How did you recover from burnout? I have been struggling with autistic burnout for a couple years now and am struggling to make it through high school. I need a change but I am unfortunately not in a place where I can just rest. Is there anything I can do?
As a self diagnøsed autistic teenager, I want tø be that therapist that yøu needed thrøugh the diagnøstic prøcess. The beføre, the during, and the aftermath. My gøal is tø grøw up tø be the neurødivergent-specializing therapist that everyøne is missing in this wørld and I høpe øthers will dø the same.
You can't be a "self diagnosed" autsitic person. Autism is a complex developmental disability. You can't self diagnose yourself with something like autism. Even the best psychologists around don't self diagnose because they realise how much self bias gets in the way.
So what "immediate intervention" was done? Since an assessment?