As a fellow autistic and adhd person I love your videos! Very relatable stories you share and I love how you're able to express yourself about your neurodviergency so well, I wish I could do that!
Thank you!! it took me a really long time to be able to articulate my words and be able to explain to people the things that were happening in my brain. It wasn't until i got diagnosed and was given the vocabulary of neurodivergent traits, trauma responses, and experiences.
Hi, could you answer some of my questions about having both? A friend of mine said that he thinks I have both and I think I only have autism and I am now very confused. So do one of them show up “less” than the other, trait wise and do you struggle a lot with routines? Cause I can manage routines and I stop to function without them, I hate change and new things but I do struggle a lot with forgetting things unless I see them. Than I also relate to a lot of other autistic things both behavior wise and internally (especially internally)
Before I did the research and learned more about autism and the varied way it can present, I had no idea that both my sister and I and all of our children are autistic. We were talking about it after this realization and about it's unbelievable that we didn't see it our kids ... We talked all the time about how we have really quirky kids..... Yup, we sure do ... I'm so glad there are people like you out her spreading awareness, the stereotypes are rampant and so destructive
Totally agree on the stereotypes! theres nothing wrong with the steryotypical traits and while a lot of autistic people do present stereotypically, its harmful that society things that is the only presentation of autism.
The gullible thing gets me to this day! A little kid can say, “Look over there!” and I fall for it every time, even when I know it’s a trick. At 17/18, my uncle said, “The word gullible isn’t in the dictionary.” I looked it up, said, “yes it is, right there.” Then he had to explain the joke to me. When I was 4, my mother’s doctor said, “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back.” For years, I was terrified to step on a crack.
Honestly never understood why ppl said that bc I always thought small children could easily become traumatized bc all little kids take things literally. I'm sure it's worse if you're autistic bc taking everything literally lasts longer than the avg kid.
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 56, 2 years ago. In looking at my childhood and adulthood I had so many of the autistic traits but no one put them together. I learned how to mask but when I hit burnout I was a mess. When I was a child, I was just seen as a weird kid. You had to be profoundly autistic before that was even considered.
60 year old here, not diagnosed but fit with a lot of the traits. And now I feel I actually understand the how's and why's of the things I do and feel. 😊
I have this vivid memory of me asking my dad about the possibility of me having autism or ADHD and he said “No, you don’t have autism. (Insert name) has autism you most certainly do not. And you get hyper focused on random stuff so you don’t have ADHD.” Like excuse me? I would also occasionally get burnouts at camp and I was well aware of what they were, so I explained it when people asked but my counselors would always look at me like I was a liar.
That's probably what happened with my parents too. Someone important tried to tell them a few times about at least the ADHD, but my parents were worse because they did not even try to acknowledge it at all
i have a very core memory of moving to a new school and not having many friends and latching onto someone and following them around and them being like "why do you follow me around so much? you're like a lost puppy" it's stuck with me so deeply
The final bit about your parents doing everything right but medical professionals saying you can't be autistic for the stupidest reasons... It breaks my heart because it was the exact same for me. My mum KNEW, but after getting rejected by professionals so many times, she was made to believe that she was making a big deal out of nothing.
Spot on..my daughter would just sit in a therapists seat and not talk. So many professionals missed it... she self diagnosed herself at 24 then got a professional assessment
I had a lot of these Autistic traits, and when my parents said that I made friends, easily it was because I just called everyone that I even slightly liked my friend, and then got yelled at for being "weird" or "wrong". ❤
Oh, Hello :) Edit :- I just learned about Alexithymia(when watching this video), and I don't know how to describe how I feel rn (no joke intended). It describes me so...PERFECTLY! Thank you :)
As an autistic person, I think I relate to most of these. When I was a baby I was pretty verbal so I would cry, and I did most things a baby would do. The only thing that I never did as a baby was touch or do things I wasn't supposed to, I was very cautious as a baby. When I learned how to speak I could talk but I apparently had problems with speaking sentences so I had to go to physical therapy and speech therapy. When I was a kid at daycare I would always play by myself, but if someone talked to me you could not shut me up once I was talking about something. I also struggle with hygiene so bad and it's related to my autism. I also was bullied when I was a kid, which happened in kindergarten. I was getting bullied because I would cry over every single thing so I would be called "crybaby". I have no idea why I would cry over every single thing that went wrong, but I think it's probably because I was just so upset that I couldn't handle it. I know that I was shy as a kid, but I was extremely talkative once people started to get me to talk or if they talked to me. My mom was amazing with me. However, the rest of my family didn't really accept who I was. When I was little most of my family was taught to act certain ways that the parents wanted them to. But me? Noooo, I did not. I acted how I wanted. If I were upset and you would try to take a picture of me I could just not make myself to force a smile. School was okay through kindergarten and 3rd grade, but when I got to 4th grade to 7th grade I was misunderstood A LOT. I was very misunderstood by teachers, especially in 5th, 6th and 7th grade. I'm in 8th grade now and I do homeschooling. But throughout 6th and 7th grade I didn't have any friends. 7th grade was especially the worst of them all. I was missing most of the school days cause I was so overwhelmed, that was also my first year of middle school. I honestly didn't trust anyone there and I didn't feel safe. Every morning I would have cried because I didn't want to go to school cause of how bad it overwhelmed me. The teachers weren't any better either, and the students weren't either. Because of my autism it has caused me to be misunderstood, and I hate it. All I live in is loneliness and I have grown to have trust issues because of so many people treating me like crap. I'll probably add in my comment on which ones in your video I related to.
Poor interception- I relate to this a little bit. The only thing I struggle with the most is not being able to tell when or if I'm thirsty, I don't know what that feels like. I'll drink something, sure, but I don't really feel anything in me telling me "Hey, you are thirsty get up and get a drink of water". But sickness and hunger I can feel very well. Being expressionless- I actually don't relate to this one. I had lots of expressions as a baby to even now. My face will mostly always show what emotion I'm feeling. Although, I don't ask for attention cause I don't mind not having attention. Lack of eye contact- Yup, I struggle with that. I don't even like people staring at me! I have a dog and you know, she's a dog she's going to stare at me if I have food or if she's bored but I don't like it, it intimidates me when people or if just anything stares at me. I can make eye contact but if I do it's only to people I know and trust or it's for a brief moment. Struggles with verbal communication- I didn't have a big issue with this, other than I did have problems with speaking my sentences. Although I don't have a problem with that now. But like, I actually did not talk to anyone I didn't know or didn't trust. But if they talked to me I would talk to them, so I didn't ignore people when they asked me something or said "hi" to me. Not responding to my name and delayed responses- I actually didn't have a problem with this at all. I was quiet and introverted, plus shy but I didn't ignore people if they asked me a question or if they said something to me. Sensory sensitivity- Yup, although it's more related to my natural senses. So sight, touch, taste, hearing, and smell are very sensitive to me. Things that are too bright overwhelm me. Things that are too loud to me overwhelm me. I'm sensitive to touch such as grass, anything too hot feeling or anything too cold. I'm also sensitive to clothing that is too tight, I prefer comfortable and loose clothing cause I like to feel "free". I'm sensitive to any kind of food, so I'm very peculiar with my food and how I like/want it. And certain smells are also very sensitive to me because I have the nose like a blood hound. Like, I can smell multiple things at once whether if it's far away or close by. This is both cool, but at the same time since my sense of smell is so strong certain smells do overwhelm my nose and cause my really bad allergies to flare up. This goes along with perfume, smells of food, and etc. Inibility to engage in play with others- I didn't struggle too hard with this I don't think, but when I was little I would have a whole script planned out in my head so most of the time when I would play with my cousins I would make them have the toys say what I wanted the toys to say because I liked to have things planned out cause it made more sense for me that way. But that was only with super close friends and family, around others I never really played with them. I grew out of this though, but now I kinda struggle when I play with others for example online and people do rp's I don't know how to rp. Stimming behavior- I actually never did this. Sometimes though, and it's VERY rare, but if I'm super super overwhelmed or if I'm very very sad and I want to cry I will purposely rock back in forth to try and distract myself, but I do it purposely so it's not like I don't notice it. So yeah, I never did any of those. Although, I did play with my hair when I was super little and it was mainly during school but no one ever got mad at me for it. Being overly gullible- I don't think I was extremely gullible, but I do take sarcasm or when people joke I take it literally but I don't think that makes me gullible. So I don't think I'm gullible. Like, you know that stranger danger thing kids were taught? Well, unlike most kids who would be gullible enough to trust random strangers I did not. Like, if a stranger was trying to lure me in with candy but I didn't know them I wouldn't follow them. But, then again my father had some serious... Disgusting behavior when I was little to me, he would often spank me for "dominance" and "pleasure" so he would often do that and he would say "It's just a game to me" which apparently I believed, so maybe I was a little gullible as a kid. My father is also an undiagnosed autistic so what fun to have a terrible, autistic father and then have me look like a female copy version of him. Oh, and also I believed in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus for a very long time. I believe maybe I was 10 when I was told they weren't real. Although, apparently Santa Claus used to exist but not in the same way as we normalize it to be, but yeah he doesn't exist anymore he died. Echolallia and self scripting- Nope, I actually never did this. But sometimes me and my mom will copy things off from TV shows such as Big bang theory, if we were saying something that reminded us of what a character had said in the Big bang theory we would copy it lol. Mimicking my peers- No, I never did this. I never copied what anyone did. Although, I did know a boy who was autistic in school before and he did copy what people would say a lot. But yeah, like you said people did not like it when he copied or mimicked people. Personally, I don't care if he mocks me or someone else but the other people did care and he would often get made fun of or picked on a lot, they would purposely agitate him. When he was in one of my classes, which was in 4th grade I did start defending him but in 5th and the rest of the years he wasn't in my classes so I couldn't but yeah, he didn't have a great time in school at all. Although, I do ask questions a lot. For some autistics, they would have mimicking problems because they felt like they had to do it as well but I always felt the need to ask "why" about anything, I was a very curious kid about things I wanted to understand. Having alexthymia- I actually do relate to this a lot. I don't know what I feel a lot. The only emotions that I can ever identify on what I feel is sadness, fear, and anger. But even if I know what I'm feeling, sometimes I won't even know why I'm feeling this way. And my emotions also change every single day, and since I'm peculiar if someone asked me "How do you feel about this dress?" I wouldn't know how to respond because Im wondering what it feels like and if what it looks like matters as long as I'm being comfy. Most of the time I'll probably answer with "I like it" "I don't like it" "Meh" "maybe" "neutral" or "I don't know."
I relate to a lot of this and the don’t feel thirsty lead me to get heat exhaustion because I was at soccer practice and didn’t feel the thirsty cues. Exspressions are interesting since I don’t remember A lot of my childhood but I’m noticing now that I have to consciously think about what facial expression is appropriate before I do anything. I also hate making eye contact it’s so uncomfortable and idk how people do it. I also had struggle speaking in sentences and for a while there were words that I just couldn’t say. I have/had delayed responses and I hate it. I’m mostly sensitive to noise and smell and textures(in particular JEANS IDK HOW ANYONE WEAR JEANS). I’d play with others even make believe but it was always initiated by the other person and I just went also with it. I used to stim by chewing on shirts. I used chewing toys up until 4th grade were after being bullied I started to stim by bouncing my leg, playing with my fingers oh and biting the inside of my mouth. I’m gullible just at because I don’t see the reason why anyone would lie. I can tell sarcasm pretty easily but jokes are really hard for me to get. I did self script in fact I’m realizing now that the entire personality I use in public is completely a mix of traits and talking things from my parents or friends. I would mimic copy peer which always came off as annoying. Yep I have alexithymia I never can figure out what I’m feeling in the moment I thought that was normal and didn’t have a word for it. I’m not diagnosed with autism but lately RUclips is giving me autism content and I realize how much I relate…
7th grade/Jr high is the absolute WORST time. It's a living hellscape and I'm glad your parents let you be homeschooled for a year to get a break. For me, I didn't really click with people or develope social skills until college---that time was when I finally had some agency in my life and was finally able to find nerd/geek communities. It's easier to learn social stuff when you feel safe, but for me that didn't happen until early adulthood, because I'm "mean-girl catnip." I hope one day you can find chill people who you 'click' with. Musical theater and SCA worked for me, but maybe a robotics club if you are less into music and history and more into modern technology? Off topic: my bother had a lot of fun building tiny maganelles, trebuchets, and other medieval war engines out of dental floss and chopsticks. It was insane to see how far he could launch a marble.
This was such an interesting video!!! As a neurotypical I follow you to learn more about other people's experiences and your explanations are really clear!! Keep it up!
I look back now to growing up in the 80’s and can see how everything strange I did was really my autism. We didn’t have resources and many of our parents didn’t care or think it was necessary to check why we were strange compared to our peers. When I was in high school, I was evaluated for a “learning disability” and the counselor told my parents that I was smart and able to do the lessons but I was lazy and day dreaming all the time. I’m in my 40’s and now getting my diagnosis. It’s helping me stand up for my needs and getting accommodations. I’m learning to accept myself and love myself. Thanks for posting this Morgan. We need more awareness because it’s still a struggle for girls/women to be accepted as having autism.
As the mum of 3 autistic children, all with different presentations, I am so sorry it took so long for you to get your diagnosis. You are amazing for now helping others with your videos 😊
i appreciate your videos a lot. I reached out to an autism testing center in my area and I asked them if I could get tested and they were like "well even if you were autistic you're too high functioning and so not a priority." That was disappointing. But I appreciate that you do your videos. it's comforting to know that there are other people who are different .I hope you can find things that make you happy.
AuDHD too here! Loved the video :) I relate to the difficulty with hair brushing, wanting to play alone, and being gullible. I’m still super gullible! I have hypersensitive interoception so that is different for me. I have the opposite experience of alexithymia where all my emotions and bodily cues are so overwhelming and intense, it’s constantly distressing and I can get internal sensory / cognitive overload too. I loved your disclaimer at the beginning about how we are all so different. :) I’m sorry they missed it in you, they being the medical professionals. They missed it in me too but my parents always knew. I got my diagnosis September 2022. ❤
Fellow AuDHD’er here and I relate to the hyper interoception and overly intense emotions too. I almost don’t know what I’m feeling because I’m feeling too much sometimes
As someone who’s going to have their autism assessment in one month, I’ve been trying to stay away from knowledge about the process of the assessment but still watch videos about symptoms. I’ve been in serious mental health treatment for 4 years and knowing that a symptom is alexatxymia is so useful. It’s taken charts and so much more, I still remember how confused I was the first few years where I couldn’t quite put into words how unconnected I was to what people said were internal emotions. I went deep into learning mental health treatment resources and now feel like I better understand my emotions, or at least I have the tools to do so when I take the time to focus on my feelings and thoughts
Hi Morgan, my name is Ravi and I just wanted to say how much I love your content, I'm also a late diagnosed autistic person, currently 29, learned about my autism when I was 27. I relate to your experiences very much and I feel like your tiktoks and videos on here are the absolute exact thing I would've needed when I was a teen to understand myself better and not constantly feel like something's deeply wrong with me, but I'm so so glad today's youth may have you to have a better chance than we did. All my love and support goes to you
Same and I have a neurotypical older sister who would tell me how to do things and what to do. I became a master at masking. Till I had kids... Then things went south.
@@ylgn9561 it does really often, but thats what were fighting for. For people to be able to recognize if they think someone might be autistic or adhd of something like that. Because going undiagnosed sucks. Even if their wrong
Enjoying your videos. I wasn't diagnosed until I was about 39....it changed my life---I understood everything about how I grew up. The whole lack of expression-thing haunted me into my adulthood. Peoplw would yell at me to smile and I didn't understand why. Random people would call me an asshole because of my lack of expression.
I relate so much to this, was diagnosed last year aged 22 and looking through the years there are so many traits which are clearly obvious yet never picked up! Seen many doctors and specialists yet none of them seemed to ever come across the idea it's autism, even had assistance from a special educational needs assistant at school (something which is often at schools here in England)! Showed signs of having tics on and off for a period of time as a child, a dysfunctional vestibular system which means I walk on my tip-toes, saw a speech therapist as a child and even through close to six years of still ongoing treatment for depression did it click to specialists that it could be autism. Makes me question them sometimes but thank you for making videos and speaking out about your experience with autism!
I'm not autistic, but I feel so seen when you say that you didn't know if you were hungry or full. I don't struggle with that on a severe level like you did (being underweight, never eating on my own, etc) but it happens to me extremely often and I get so frustrated with myself and my body. So glad I'm not the only one, seriously, because it's such a weird experience. Same with with not knowing how my day was, unless something significant happened or I was in a REALLY good or bad mood. Like, what do you want to hear, mom, it was just a normal school day 😭
Awe, I really feel you and I relate to your experiences of childhood. I was a child in the 60's and 70's. The best the doctors could do was offer my parents anti-anxiety 'medications'. Thank goodness they said, No! To be fair I don't think the doctors knew. Their education is about 10 years behind research. When my oldest son had delayed speech (1986) and was sent to be checked out by a pediatrician, all he concluded was it was my fault my son couldn't talk, I must be using too much body language he concluded. Still kind of unbelievable that autism didn't go in the DSM until 1992. Just because they reissue the DSM regularly, doesn't mean every single practicing doctor, counsellor, or psychiatric professional is reading it anew. My sons were diagnosed ADHD, at 28 I had testing showing I had ADHD traits. Although it never felt quite right, because I can be highly organized and can complete complex project. So until the last few years of my life, (59 right now), the term autism did not become mainstream in my own mind. I mostly seen you in the shorts via doom scrolling and I take comfort in being reflected. Thank you for sharing your experiences with the world.
I am not diagnosed as autistic, but all the tests I have been taking say I am... with that said I also dealt with a lot of the same issues as you did. But I was very chatty, and smiley as a baby but I became more a d more withdrawn and quiet as I got older because I was shamed and punished for voicing my issues, meltdowns and such do to my sensory and socializing issues as a kid. I became extremely independant because I was forced too so I got myself dressed all the time. But I also would lose my shit if my clothes were too tight, or itchy or just sit weird on me. I hated wearing underwear too because I found everything about them to be so uncomfortable. Socks and shoes caused a lot of issues as well when getting me out the door.
We are in the process of having our son diagnosed and he is a soft clothing loving, head touch hating, specific way of playing awesome little guy. He loves his little routine and it is more and more apparent how much he relies on routine.
This was really fun to watch, yet I recognize the massive disconnect between you and your environment. Lucky that you can look back with a smile! 😃 It also shows a lot of strength in you, telling this so openly 💪
amazing video my friend, i am also autistic and i definitely experience some of these growing up with the eye contact, occansional death staring and expressionless, unresponsiveness at times, i had sensory issues involving tickling and if i was writing not wanting anyone to read or look at it, i would also go back and forth with being very talkative and suddenly shockingly quiet, my stimming would be tapping my teeth and i remember i used to believe my mom was actually santa, i also did the same things with minicing characters, a lot of times i would even act out the entire movie (The Spongebob Squarepants Movie being the biggest example) i sometimes would also had trouble making friends to where some would run from me when i just try to talk to them, my family did know that i was autistic from a very young age but i didn't found out i was till 7th or 8th grade, definitely relate to a lot of what you said, anyways amazing video and been loving your content, keep up the amazing work :}
I loved this video! I worked in the field of Autism 20 years ago and it was so different. Neurodivergence and neurotypical weren’t commonly used words…. I never heard them back then. Same with masking or interoception. Asperger’s was still a diagnosis and if people didn’t have communication delay, that is what would be looked at. People didn’t define themself as Autistic, instead being labeled an “individual with autism.” And it was still looked at something that needed a cure. Very very different. We’ve come a long way. It’s really in the last 5-10 years that I feel it’s been recognized that someone may be Autistic, but not noticeably so. I had what’s so so similar to Autistic burnout and am unsure if I’m autistic. After realizing, I watched my kids at gymnastics class. They are the only ones of all the kids flapping their hands with excitement. (Hmmmm). My sister thinks her and her husband may be too (and I wouldn’t be surprised at all). My uncle fits so much of the criteria. It’s like we are in the Wild West of ASD diagnosis still.
To be clear, I don’t know if I am Autistic, I know I have ADHD. I have issues with interoception, as well as being able to to tell my feelings. As an adult, I have sensory issues. I have trouble adjusting to change of plans. I don’t like being watched when doing things and struggle with PDA, even if the task benefits me. I’m so glad all this information exists. I just wish I knew how to better structure my life. I feel I can’t do it the neurotypical way. But I don’t know new ways to make it work. And it’s very difficult.
Great video, and another "aha" for me, as my mom told me a few times what a quiet, well-behaved baby I was. Of course, my same behavior through school, all the while being confused and scared by being in school and with other kids.
hi morgan! (ʘᴗʘ✿) thanks for sharing your experiences. im glad you enjoyed making this video and im extremely admirable of your strength today despite the endless difficulties you endured alone and confusingly. i am also audhd! i know since its in hindsight its easier to laugh at it, but ive got to say, a good amount of your comparable childhood had triggered unkept emotions and the sense of extreme justice i have for the many others like me, who have had so many deliberately neglect them over blatant ignorance. its reassuring, now that ive surfaced from the sea of confusion, that i have SO many others that silently suffered with me separately. the misunderstanding and forced conformity from most likey undiagnosed parents who've been victim to the generational cycle of neglect. it makes me enraged and also mourn. my heart and soul goes out to all of you, and you specifically, morgan. I hope no matter what life throws at you, you are okay 🙃
"being expressionless" i immediately knew what u were talking about. sometimes(as acurrent kid/pre-teen) i have to focus on my face expression so if my friends show me some cool trick/s,i wouldnt even pay attention to them,i would only have to know its supposed to be a cool trick so i focus on looking surprised,cuz if i wouldnt try to mask it,i would look at them with a blank face and nod although i'd be impressed. so yeah lolz :)
I’m self diagnosed at 50. This made me reflect on my childhood and yes,I was a very weird kid. I have copy of a letter from my grandparents describing me at 16 months as”..a quiet little boy, a very deliberate little boy and placid, very different from his sisters.” But no one paid attention in the 70’s.
Thank you for sharing these stories and perspectives! I'm late diagnosed and actually didn't have any of these traits as a kid. However, I can somehow completely relate and understand your perspective. I had a very similar internal experience, but was not allowed any outbursts, so my masking and anxiety overshadowed everything else by about age 6. As a result (I think) I struggle to know myself, and hearing experiences like yours allow me a glimpse into things I may have done/wanted/enjoyed had I not been suppressing anything that may garner attention/judgement/punishment. I can see your journey has not been easy, but it seems your parents offered you safety and grace, and that maybe helps you be more aware and accepting of yourself. This is a gift, and I'm grateful you are so willing to share 🤗
I remember going through a time I would purposefully avoid answering questions or responding to questions I didn't have an answer to and my parents would yell at me for it. Especially my mother and she emphasized that it was something identified as an Autism trait and other nonsense that made me so angry and honestly it was only my parents with the issue. All these habits that were potentially linked to my Autism they tried to force me to break so I wouldn't be looked at as if something was wrong with me weren't issues normal people were looking for. Mom was especially obvious to the fact that normal people couldn't tell I had something unless I told them and people weren't being just polite and that my none responsiveness was often the healthest thing I could have done in the circumstance.....Maybe that's why I feel a need to respond to everything now a days.
I relate to your content more than so many others out there that make content about autism. Thanks for this it really helps, I was so gaslighted for so long
Thanks for sharing, Morgan. I worked with autistic children and can recognize some of the traits here. Sometimes, I wonder if I have it, but I don't share many of your experiences. I would say my biggest concerns are maladaptive daydreaming, being unable to express myself, misphonia, and social issues. When I was a kid, I used to act out my daydreams. Like I would legit talk to myself, cry, and laugh based on what I was fantasizing at the time. One time, my parents caught me and said, "Who are you talking to?" I had trouble talking about my emotions. My mom would ask me what's wrong, and I'd just sit there, mute. It's like I feel and experience pain, but I can't convey it verbally. One time, I was at an event in college, and my roommate asked if I was enjoying it. I said yeah, but apparently I didn't look like it?? 🤷🏾♀️ I have pretty bad misophonia. Ironically, I love ASMR. 😅 But when I was younger, I used to scream at my parents to stop gulping, sneezing, chewing gum, etc. The sounds made me want to cry. They'd get so mad. To this day, I can't tolerate certain noises, but I can suppress my reaction better. 😢 I also don't like to be touched. When my mom used to do my hair, I sat on the floor, and she sat on the couch. When her foot would brush against my leg or something, I'd squirm and try to move away. On a related note, I have a strong attention to detail. But I get hyper focused on it to the point where I'm not productive. My social issues are mostly relationship related. I was a very shy kid. Now, it doesn't bother me too much to talk to people (although phone calls still trip me up), but I can't form relationships. I've been a loner my whole life. I did have friends, but no one I was close to. I haven't had friends since I graduated from high school. 12 years ago. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin no matter where I go. It's like I'm constantly trying to act normal. So, idk if any of this is autism or I'm just freaking weird. 😅
I really appreciate you making these videos I really enjoy psychology and especially like learning about autism and ADHD and you have so much info about autism ❤
I use to know this boy that was very autistic and I went to a pretty expensive Catholic school and he left my class in 5th grade but he would have to go to the hospital constantly he was missing school constantly I felt bad for him and I found out that he wouldn't. Eat at all at lunch or home I knew he wouldn't eat at school but it got so bad that his mom had to come to our school to feed him eventually he had to leave P.S. Ily Morgan!❤
Sometimes I gaslight myself into thinking that I've gaslighted myself into thinking I have autism because I don't have every single autistic trait, even though I have an official diagnosis 😂
I do too...how can you stop? I was hoping telling my family would make it more 'real' but I'm too afraid of being dismissed while needing validation...
Hi! So I'm a 15 year old female and I'm not diagnosed with Autism or Adhd bit my cousin recently asked me if I was Autistic and I said no. She said that noticed a lot of traits in me that pointed to Autism and Adhd. I don't know what to think because I do know that I have odd behaviors that I thought was normal but when I ask and people say no I feel like I'm weird and something is wrong with me. This video made me try to think if I had any Autistic traits during childhood but it's hard for me to remember because I was an abusive household and I was isolated from people a lot. The only thing that I know is that I never really cried or made noises as I baby, even if I was hungry or needed a diaper change. But now idk. Ever since my cousin asked me it feels it feels like I'm having a mental crisis and I'm questioning my whole life. I feel like I'm just being an attention seeker and maybe I'm just weird. Sorry for such a long comment
Do you go to school and if yes I think a good first step would be if you ask to speak to your school counsellor, theyll be able to help with your anxiety and help you find resources and pathways to other support if you need it . Colleges also have student counsellors, or there might be someone in the community like at church.
I had the same imposter syndrome experience. Doing the assessments on the 'embrace autism' website helped make my thoughts more solid, and served as a great stepping stone to formal assessment. Understanding yourself is powerful 🤗
The thing is you said it was an abusive household so you might have also been neglected which is why you stopped bidding for attention or affection bc no one was going to come for you. I do think you should try therapy bc it might be complex ptsd and maybe after you're in therapy for a but you can ask about getting tested for autism.
I'm gonna comment on these as I watch the video. 1. Interoception: I had this and still do! I won't notice that I'm thirsty or need to use the bathroom until I'm done with a task and its somewhat urgent. As a child, this made people mad. 2. Being expressionless: I don't know about most of those examples, but I know for sure that my mom said I was an easy baby. I would just be happy to lay or sit on a blanket with toys and just lay there, I wouldn't get into anything, kind of just looked around. I always looked down and found eye contact intimidating. 3. Verbal communication - this was definitely me. 4. Delayed responses - again, definitely me. By the time I was ready to talk to them, they're gone. 5. Sensory issues - yes! With clothes and food. And microfiber cleaning cloths specifically. 6. Play issues - I was very isolated in school. There was a phase where I wanted to be friends with a certain group of kids so I followed them around at recess, at a distance, not interacting just watching, until the teacher pulled me aside and told me to stop and go play. I just wanted to play Harry Potter with them and had no clue what to do. 7. I had to be told about Santa too. And the others. I remember I was devastated. 8. I mimicked characters too. Got in trouble a lot at home for it and eventually just clammed up.
I realised recently that I made friends at school by just waiting for people to come and make friends with me! I was often described as shy, but like you very chatty at home - after parents' evenings my parents would often jokingly say "I think they got the wrong child", because the teachers would always describe me as being very quiet. Also, you're the only other person I've heard say that they didn't always have feelings about something; I would experience things, but I didn't always have the strong emotions attached to that experience that others seemed to expect me to have. I would basically give the answer I they were expecting. Especially if someone asked, "Are you feeling excited/nervous/etc?" I'd just agree with them or if it was a choice, then I'd say "a bit of both".
I relate to so many of these traits but it's also interesting to see some of the differences especially if they're the polar opposite of what I might experience! Love this video
I am Autistic and literally EVEY SINGLE THING that you said in this video is exactly on my spectrum of autism. I feel more understood now i watched your video, thank you :)
My psychiatrist refuses to diagnose me with autism still because I had childhood trauma and he I quote said “Autistic kids live normal lives and don’t have trauma.” I know I’m on the spectrum.
@allycat365 I was told to do actual neuropsych testing instead of seeing behavioral health. I am switching to a new psychiatrist though. I hated that response. He’s 80 and needs to retire.
Thanks Morgan. I JUST remembered something my parents tell me sometimes : as a child when they cut my nails I would then keep my hands out for quite a while. Clearly sensory discomfort post cut. I'm waiting to be assessed, so need to add this to my list of traits.
hey! i uhh i have a question (directed at anyone at all!) about autism diagnostic situations i really related to the short about taking the autism assessment, and generally every video you make (without a few ofc), but mainly i'm asking about diagnostic processes, i was told that i don't have autism because my responses weren't what they would expect, but i still do think that i have autism they asked me if i would prefer to go to the museum or a party for example, and i said what kind of party and what kind of museum, because i don't like art museums at all but i'd go nuts for a marine life museum or a dinosaur museum. if it was a party with my friend there then i'd pick that over most museums, especially since my friend isn't very social so i know that if they were going then it must be something enjoyable so despite sensory issues i would go as well i've related to all the shorts you've posted so far (i thought seeing animals in abstract tile patterns was normal lol) and i'm just confused honestly, because i got told i'm not autistic but it seems that anything i see that is autism related i relate to and the symptoms do describe me the diagnostic session i had was very strange, it lasted only 20 minutes and i wasn't allowed to see the results, it was just one multiple choice thing and the worst part is she changed some of my answers she asked me if i have any obsessions or if i collect information, i said yeah i collect pokemon and i collect sylvanian families dolls and she was like no, information not objects, and i said okay, marine life, and she said no i meant trains or birds and put me down as not having any she also told me that my love for pokemon was a video game addiction 🗿 🗿 is it okay to still identify as autistic and to aim to get a reevaluation?
The reason this went wrong was that the person doing the evaluation was an idiot. You need to try again and again unfortunately. There is another autism channel with a man diagnosed late, and he said that he went to 12! people before he got a diagnosis.
Watching a lot of these videos because I'm wondering if I'm autistic. I've had such an unbelievable tough time just existing in this world, and it's often led me to feel very down about everything. I recently discovered not everyone has a million processes running through their head sin regards to social interaction... ie checks like 'am I making enough eye contact' 'am i making sure my hand movements and body language are right' etc... Was hardest recently when I made a series of social blunders with various people, one after the next. Above all else, I wish people just saw the level of effort I put in every single day in terms of functioning. But I know they don't, and probably won't. And man, that's a tough ass pill to swallow.
Even now that I’m in college (I commute from home) I’ll come home and my parents will say “How was your day?” and I’ll think for a couple seconds and just say “I learned __”. My base emotional state is ambivalent and it takes something pretty drastic for me to start talking about my emotional state.
I'm not sure if I'm neurodivergent or not but I love watching these types of videos because 1. They're really interesting and relatable and 2. I write neurodivergent characters and this helps me with "research" in a way. :) I've also never heard someone else who mimicked characters like I did until this video!! When I was little I had tons of "phases" when I was "obsessed" with a certain movie or game and it changed every few months or so. Some huge things I did this with were Cars (Mater and Finn McMissile) The Incredibles (Dash), Wreck-It-Ralph (Felix), and Minecraft: Story Mode (Jesse and Radar). I copied characters' mannerisms, quotes, outfits, everything! I still do this to some extent. My current "obsession" is The Outsiders (book and movie) and I've been into it for like 5 years now! I still mimic the characters by dressing like them and acting sort of like them! (especially Ponyboy and Johnny). I love The Outsiders so so much!! I've also started doing the same thing with Elvis Presley, as he's my favorite musician, and also some of my other favorite 50's rockabilly artists. I also have an incredibly hard time with communication. I never know how to interact with my peers and I'm scared to go out on my own in the world as I am eighteen now. I really wish I knew why. I know it could be neurodivergence, but if it's not, then that's okay! I'll just go on with my life if it turns out I'm not autistic. Either way (if I ever find out) it will be a learning experience. Wow, I always seem to ramble on and on! Sorry for the long comment!
I pick at my split ends and this is the first time I've heard of someone else picking at their split ends too! I had joined the trichotillomania subreddit, but I didn't see any posts focusing on split ends, so this is kinda refreshing to hear. I'm 28 and I haven't been diagnosed with autism but I wouldn't be surprised if I was (I relate to other traits too, not just the hair pulling)
I think I was also pretty expressionless as a child. I got one comment in the 7th grade from another kid about my face looking weird that always stuck with me, I remember that moment to this day and have to actively mentally remind myself to put on an expression in public, as I think my natural face isn't a death stare, but just like a zoned out, in my own world sort of face. I think the main sensory issues I had as a kid were food aversions. I remember I had one friend the majority of elementary school, and this girl's dad telling my friend that he didn't like it when I came over because I was a very picky eater. I remember thinking I didn't feel like I was being picky, but I don't remember the foods he made as much anymore so I can't remember what I actually thought about most of them. I do remember though that I spent a lot of time at my aunt's place growing up, and in the morning she would serve my sister, my cousin and I all hard boiled eggs for breakfast, and I HATED them. The white part of the egg was not too bad, just a bit squishy, but I could not stand the crumbly texture of the yolk in the middle, and the flavor of it made me nauseous, and sometimes I gagged. I would sit there at the dining room table forever as my aunt told me I could not leave until I finished my breakfast, and child me should have just stuffed the egg in my mouth and gotten it over with, but I absolutely could not stand those eggs and opted instead to sit there, refusing to eat it, every single morning, until the last possible second when I was about to be late for school. I also hated fatty meats, and meats with skins on them. If we got a rotisserie chicken for dinner to share as a family, I would peel off the skin and only eat specific parts of it, and my aunt used to complain that I barely ate any of my protein because again, the texture of the skins and fatty parts were absolutely awful, and I refused to eat them. I'd just eat the actual meaty parts, which really she should have been fine with, but I think she mainly didn't like that I'd make a mess on my plate by picking apart my dinner to get to the edible parts.
My parents didn't take me to therapists or doctors despite my obvious traits of adhd and less obvious (I guess) traits autism as well. But the reason it's interesting: they always explained those traits for me being like my mom's family. The thing is, after my diagnosis, I can see that most of them are neurodivergent too, and I laugh a lot about it. yes, I am like my mom's family, but none of us are normal 😂😂
I use to also play with my hands as friends. And my stimming was usually making sounds like rolling R. Because it felt so weird and made my vision bounce
Currently studying to be a therapist/counselor and honestly hearing your story here I hope makes me more aware so I can help spot this in others rather than how yours made assumptions about you
I relate to basically every one and autism runs in my family yet my parents still think I’m just looking for attention! I HATE HAVING ATTENTION ON ME!!!!
the emotion wheel that relates physcial responses to emotions os really helpful Ie . increased heartrate, sweaty hands stomach pain nausea. then links those back to an emotion. Thank you for sharing your stories. It will help the younger generation even more. 😊
Dude I also got a friggen bowl cut because I hated people touching my hair. My mom dressed me for school because I could not bear doing it myself. I was also selectively mute, and also play alone a lot. And spent hours setting up the toys, but never really played with the “Barbie’s” and I also stunned like crazy, lack of autism, etc. I won dancing competitions because I loved dancing, but as soon as I grew conscious of people seeing me I stopped. Now I stim like crazy at yoga. I was also a gullible child, and I still am gullible. I still use echolalia, and imitate characters, etc. I’m 34 and mother to a 12 year old. Coworkers treat me like I’m the R word, but at I’m “really smart”. I’m sooooo happy for your channel. You remind me of a younger me. Might be the curls, too ❤❤
Everybody is always smiling in my old family photos, except me, I’m always straight-faced. Adults would consistently create a scene about it, which was so embarrassing! Yet I never learned. Instead, I associated cameras with unwanted attention and would cry about posing for photos.. I was eventually trained to contort my face to standard, via that negative reinforcement. But it took way too long, lol. I would suggest training such children with positive reinforcement instead, in the form of bribes. That would’ve been so much easier to process. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
Hi Morgan! I believe that I have autism but don’t know how to approach my parents with it. Any tips? I also fear i won’t be taken seriously because when you google “autistic traits in girls” it mainly says ‘emotionless’ or ‘social anxiety’ but I am the complete opposite! I never don’t have a smile on my face and will talk to anyone and everyone. I LOVE UR VIDS BTW
My family never cared that I had an ADD diagnosis. Early on in school I was put in a special needs reading class for a semester, but nothing after that. I barely graduated from high school. Almost 2 decades later, nothing has changed in my family, except that they probably don’t like me even more than when I was young. I know people will think this is in appropriate, but I’m glad that 2 of the most hurtful people in this family can no longer punish me, may God rest their souls. I still have not found the right place or the right people to be around in order to be a ‘productive member of society’. I’m not sure if I have some strange sub-type of ADHD or if I’ve also got ASD. I’m damn near 40 years old and still can’t do life right. And now I can’t even remember what my point was, so now I’m just rambling. I hope you all get the support you need, life does not get any easier when your older so please learn to advocate for yourselves. There were so many situations that I had to just ‘bottle everything up’ so that I didn’t cause more of a scene and get into even more trouble… and sometimes I wish that I didn’t… maybe I would have got the help I needed, I just didn’t want to be a burden for people around me, and I certainly did not want to get sent away from home… life can be such a difficult nightmare to deal with. Please advocate for yourselves, your not just another number in the system, your a human being and your life and experience is every bit as valuable as all the others. Take care.
💜 wow... listening to these traits has made my wierd childhood make so much more sense now... the gullible thing really hit home... some people took advantage of that thinking i was dumb or stupid then bullying me about it... but i was just a very literal... autistic... little girl 💜
So much of what you shared about your childhood is what my daughter is doing now lol. I was diagnosed autistic at 35, 5 years ago after bringing our children to therapy. The therapist looked back and forth between my ex and i and pointed at me and said, get yourself tested lol
You brought back a long forgotten memory to me. The whole conversing fingers. XD I did that. One was a boy the other girl..i forgot which hand was which tho. But omg! You just helped me realise so much more about myself and the possibility of me having autism.
Hi Morgan! I know you from TikTok. I recently started my own YT channel about my experiences. I discovered that I'm Autistic at the age of 37 (in the end of last year). I try to follow as many Autistic/Neurodivergent content creators as possible because I wanna learn and understand more about it. This video is really interesting! Thank you for talking about your childhood. I don't get why people didn't notice that I'm different. This is why we need to talk about ourselves. / Isabella
omg i was the 100th like! also, i love seeing videos like this because i do most of these things and it just gives me a sense of not normalness, but knowing why. basically tysm for existing and making these videos! 🩷
I don‘t know whether I am autistic or not. My parents told me I was the easiest baby- I was lying in my crib and rotating my hands and just watching them for ages. I also love the copying- to this day (I’m 43) I’m imitating people I find interesting and I’m also citing movie characters or I‘m singing like all the time when I feel safe.
Poor interoception. I wouldn't pick up on that I needed to pee until I really needed to pee. This resulted in lots of accidents and narrowly making it to the bathroom even as a 9 year old. Verbal communication was complicated for me too. I wouldn't know how to do social interaction or pick up on inflection or if an adult or another child was teasing me or joking. Sensory issues. Oh my lord yes. Tags, itchy clothes, sock seems, they were all awful. And brushing or combing my hair was torture. I remember getting a gift for my birthday one year and being super excited about it and all the other kids going outside to play without me while I sat by myself. Echolalia and scripting, ditto. And embodying tv and movie characters.
Have you ever had the problem where your body wouldn’t wake you up when you needed to pee? Bc as embarrassing as it is, I wet my bed often as a kid bc of this
So many people had the idea of autism to be like Rain Man, although you may be too young for that reference. The other problem that happens in schools is if the kid is quiet and leaving people alone there is less of an effort to get to the bottom of the behavior. Wild and loud get the attention. Sadly, expectations for girls still seems to be lower. A girl could be labelled as a dreamer or simply not too bright, but if you were flipping desks or punching out kids on the ice, people probably would have worked harder to help you.
I had the EXACT same thing with doctors & therapists. I didn't find out I was autistic until I saw your videos and looked back on my childhood - I'm 55 years old! That and being a Christian; I was REALLY bullied to the point where I don't want to go out anymore because I get so drained.
I was told by an Englishman the reason lettuce isn't in their cuisine is bc the climate is too cold to grow it. I'm a horticulturist and anglophile, I adamantly stood by this for years. Unrelated, I'm no longer friends w that guy
Omg, you described my child almost to the T, I always thought my child was perfect as a baby too, like ideal baby. We are still trying to process this late diagnosis ourselves too
I always had trouble with verbal communication (near mute with strangers) and also blank stared as a kid when not with close people until I was pressured and then self taught into emoting. I remember consciously learning to smile and laugh at around 8-12 years old. But naaah, I'm just a shy girl, no issues here, just need to "open up" more :/
i'm a 19years old young woman lost i life because of my "health" situation and the last point ust brings me back in my childhood and makes me want to cry
Oh my gosh that last thing - I used to answer I don't know too! I was very truthful and held honesty high, but when I became a teenager I learnt to lie.
As a fellow autistic and adhd person I love your videos! Very relatable stories you share and I love how you're able to express yourself about your neurodviergency so well, I wish I could do that!
Thank you!! it took me a really long time to be able to articulate my words and be able to explain to people the things that were happening in my brain. It wasn't until i got diagnosed and was given the vocabulary of neurodivergent traits, trauma responses, and experiences.
Hi, could you answer some of my questions about having both? A friend of mine said that he thinks I have both and I think I only have autism and I am now very confused. So do one of them show up “less” than the other, trait wise and do you struggle a lot with routines? Cause I can manage routines and I stop to function without them, I hate change and new things but I do struggle a lot with forgetting things unless I see them. Than I also relate to a lot of other autistic things both behavior wise and internally (especially internally)
Before I did the research and learned more about autism and the varied way it can present, I had no idea that both my sister and I and all of our children are autistic. We were talking about it after this realization and about it's unbelievable that we didn't see it our kids ... We talked all the time about how we have really quirky kids..... Yup, we sure do ... I'm so glad there are people like you out her spreading awareness, the stereotypes are rampant and so destructive
Totally agree on the stereotypes! theres nothing wrong with the steryotypical traits and while a lot of autistic people do present stereotypically, its harmful that society things that is the only presentation of autism.
The gullible thing gets me to this day! A little kid can say, “Look over there!” and I fall for it every time, even when I know it’s a trick. At 17/18, my uncle said, “The word gullible isn’t in the dictionary.” I looked it up, said, “yes it is, right there.” Then he had to explain the joke to me. When I was 4, my mother’s doctor said, “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back.” For years, I was terrified to step on a crack.
Honestly never understood why ppl said that bc I always thought small children could easily become traumatized bc all little kids take things literally. I'm sure it's worse if you're autistic bc taking everything literally lasts longer than the avg kid.
Oh my goodness, the step on a crack...I was absolutely so upset until it was explained to me. I was so embarrassed.
That's just children in general. You couldn't diagnose anything off that.
@@ebossnz6838 Of course not. It’s just one part of a much bigger picture.
I always have to look when they say "look over there" even if I know it's just to get me to look
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 56, 2 years ago. In looking at my childhood and adulthood I had so many of the autistic traits but no one put them together. I learned how to mask but when I hit burnout I was a mess. When I was a child, I was just seen as a weird kid. You had to be profoundly autistic before that was even considered.
When did you hit the burnout? When you were diagnosed or when you were younger? Sorry that I’m being nosy.
@@the_rachel_sam I was diagnosed when I was 56. I'm 58 now. I had several times in my life when I hit burnout.
60 year old here, not diagnosed but fit with a lot of the traits. And now I feel I actually understand the how's and why's of the things I do and feel. 😊
I have this vivid memory of me asking my dad about the possibility of me having autism or ADHD and he said “No, you don’t have autism. (Insert name) has autism you most certainly do not. And you get hyper focused on random stuff so you don’t have ADHD.” Like excuse me?
I would also occasionally get burnouts at camp and I was well aware of what they were, so I explained it when people asked but my counselors would always look at me like I was a liar.
"Hi this is our daughter morgan she acts completly like a nerodivergent person but shes nerotypical its fine" i was laughing for five mins straight😂
That's probably what happened with my parents too. Someone important tried to tell them a few times about at least the ADHD, but my parents were worse because they did not even try to acknowledge it at all
i have a very core memory of moving to a new school and not having many friends and latching onto someone and following them around and them being like "why do you follow me around so much? you're like a lost puppy" it's stuck with me so deeply
Same here!
The final bit about your parents doing everything right but medical professionals saying you can't be autistic for the stupidest reasons... It breaks my heart because it was the exact same for me. My mum KNEW, but after getting rejected by professionals so many times, she was made to believe that she was making a big deal out of nothing.
Spot on..my daughter would just sit in a therapists seat and not talk. So many professionals missed it... she self diagnosed herself at 24 then got a professional assessment
I had a lot of these Autistic traits, and when my parents said that I made friends, easily it was because I just called everyone that I even slightly liked my friend, and then got yelled at for being "weird" or "wrong". ❤
😂😭 Damn
Oh, Hello :)
Edit :- I just learned about Alexithymia(when watching this video), and I don't know how to describe how I feel rn (no joke intended). It describes me so...PERFECTLY!
Thank you :)
Im so glad you were able to learn abut alexithymia! when i learned about it i had the same reaction. i was like ohhhh this explains a lot haha
same! i relate to it so much i think
same here omfg i thought i was sociopathic or something 😭
Got me too
As an autistic person, I think I relate to most of these.
When I was a baby I was pretty verbal so I would cry, and I did most things a baby would do. The only thing that I never did as a baby was touch or do things I wasn't supposed to, I was very cautious as a baby. When I learned how to speak I could talk but I apparently had problems with speaking sentences so I had to go to physical therapy and speech therapy. When I was a kid at daycare I would always play by myself, but if someone talked to me you could not shut me up once I was talking about something. I also struggle with hygiene so bad and it's related to my autism. I also was bullied when I was a kid, which happened in kindergarten. I was getting bullied because I would cry over every single thing so I would be called "crybaby". I have no idea why I would cry over every single thing that went wrong, but I think it's probably because I was just so upset that I couldn't handle it.
I know that I was shy as a kid, but I was extremely talkative once people started to get me to talk or if they talked to me. My mom was amazing with me. However, the rest of my family didn't really accept who I was. When I was little most of my family was taught to act certain ways that the parents wanted them to. But me? Noooo, I did not. I acted how I wanted. If I were upset and you would try to take a picture of me I could just not make myself to force a smile. School was okay through kindergarten and 3rd grade, but when I got to 4th grade to 7th grade I was misunderstood A LOT. I was very misunderstood by teachers, especially in 5th, 6th and 7th grade. I'm in 8th grade now and I do homeschooling. But throughout 6th and 7th grade I didn't have any friends. 7th grade was especially the worst of them all. I was missing most of the school days cause I was so overwhelmed, that was also my first year of middle school. I honestly didn't trust anyone there and I didn't feel safe. Every morning I would have cried because I didn't want to go to school cause of how bad it overwhelmed me. The teachers weren't any better either, and the students weren't either.
Because of my autism it has caused me to be misunderstood, and I hate it. All I live in is loneliness and I have grown to have trust issues because of so many people treating me like crap. I'll probably add in my comment on which ones in your video I related to.
Poor interception- I relate to this a little bit. The only thing I struggle with the most is not being able to tell when or if I'm thirsty, I don't know what that feels like. I'll drink something, sure, but I don't really feel anything in me telling me "Hey, you are thirsty get up and get a drink of water". But sickness and hunger I can feel very well.
Being expressionless- I actually don't relate to this one. I had lots of expressions as a baby to even now. My face will mostly always show what emotion I'm feeling. Although, I don't ask for attention cause I don't mind not having attention.
Lack of eye contact- Yup, I struggle with that. I don't even like people staring at me! I have a dog and you know, she's a dog she's going to stare at me if I have food or if she's bored but I don't like it, it intimidates me when people or if just anything stares at me. I can make eye contact but if I do it's only to people I know and trust or it's for a brief moment.
Struggles with verbal communication- I didn't have a big issue with this, other than I did have problems with speaking my sentences. Although I don't have a problem with that now. But like, I actually did not talk to anyone I didn't know or didn't trust. But if they talked to me I would talk to them, so I didn't ignore people when they asked me something or said "hi" to me.
Not responding to my name and delayed responses- I actually didn't have a problem with this at all. I was quiet and introverted, plus shy but I didn't ignore people if they asked me a question or if they said something to me.
Sensory sensitivity- Yup, although it's more related to my natural senses. So sight, touch, taste, hearing, and smell are very sensitive to me. Things that are too bright overwhelm me. Things that are too loud to me overwhelm me. I'm sensitive to touch such as grass, anything too hot feeling or anything too cold. I'm also sensitive to clothing that is too tight, I prefer comfortable and loose clothing cause I like to feel "free". I'm sensitive to any kind of food, so I'm very peculiar with my food and how I like/want it. And certain smells are also very sensitive to me because I have the nose like a blood hound. Like, I can smell multiple things at once whether if it's far away or close by. This is both cool, but at the same time since my sense of smell is so strong certain smells do overwhelm my nose and cause my really bad allergies to flare up. This goes along with perfume, smells of food, and etc.
Inibility to engage in play with others- I didn't struggle too hard with this I don't think, but when I was little I would have a whole script planned out in my head so most of the time when I would play with my cousins I would make them have the toys say what I wanted the toys to say because I liked to have things planned out cause it made more sense for me that way. But that was only with super close friends and family, around others I never really played with them. I grew out of this though, but now I kinda struggle when I play with others for example online and people do rp's I don't know how to rp.
Stimming behavior- I actually never did this. Sometimes though, and it's VERY rare, but if I'm super super overwhelmed or if I'm very very sad and I want to cry I will purposely rock back in forth to try and distract myself, but I do it purposely so it's not like I don't notice it. So yeah, I never did any of those. Although, I did play with my hair when I was super little and it was mainly during school but no one ever got mad at me for it.
Being overly gullible- I don't think I was extremely gullible, but I do take sarcasm or when people joke I take it literally but I don't think that makes me gullible. So I don't think I'm gullible. Like, you know that stranger danger thing kids were taught? Well, unlike most kids who would be gullible enough to trust random strangers I did not. Like, if a stranger was trying to lure me in with candy but I didn't know them I wouldn't follow them. But, then again my father had some serious... Disgusting behavior when I was little to me, he would often spank me for "dominance" and "pleasure" so he would often do that and he would say "It's just a game to me" which apparently I believed, so maybe I was a little gullible as a kid. My father is also an undiagnosed autistic so what fun to have a terrible, autistic father and then have me look like a female copy version of him. Oh, and also I believed in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus for a very long time. I believe maybe I was 10 when I was told they weren't real. Although, apparently Santa Claus used to exist but not in the same way as we normalize it to be, but yeah he doesn't exist anymore he died.
Echolallia and self scripting- Nope, I actually never did this. But sometimes me and my mom will copy things off from TV shows such as Big bang theory, if we were saying something that reminded us of what a character had said in the Big bang theory we would copy it lol.
Mimicking my peers- No, I never did this. I never copied what anyone did. Although, I did know a boy who was autistic in school before and he did copy what people would say a lot. But yeah, like you said people did not like it when he copied or mimicked people. Personally, I don't care if he mocks me or someone else but the other people did care and he would often get made fun of or picked on a lot, they would purposely agitate him. When he was in one of my classes, which was in 4th grade I did start defending him but in 5th and the rest of the years he wasn't in my classes so I couldn't but yeah, he didn't have a great time in school at all. Although, I do ask questions a lot. For some autistics, they would have mimicking problems because they felt like they had to do it as well but I always felt the need to ask "why" about anything, I was a very curious kid about things I wanted to understand.
Having alexthymia- I actually do relate to this a lot. I don't know what I feel a lot. The only emotions that I can ever identify on what I feel is sadness, fear, and anger. But even if I know what I'm feeling, sometimes I won't even know why I'm feeling this way. And my emotions also change every single day, and since I'm peculiar if someone asked me "How do you feel about this dress?" I wouldn't know how to respond because Im wondering what it feels like and if what it looks like matters as long as I'm being comfy. Most of the time I'll probably answer with "I like it" "I don't like it" "Meh" "maybe" "neutral" or "I don't know."
I relate to a lot of this and the don’t feel thirsty lead me to get heat exhaustion because I was at soccer practice and didn’t feel the thirsty cues. Exspressions are interesting since I don’t remember A lot of my childhood but I’m noticing now that I have to consciously think about what facial expression is appropriate before I do anything. I also hate making eye contact it’s so uncomfortable and idk how people do it. I also had struggle speaking in sentences and for a while there were words that I just couldn’t say. I have/had delayed responses and I hate it. I’m mostly sensitive to noise and smell and textures(in particular JEANS IDK HOW ANYONE WEAR JEANS). I’d play with others even make believe but it was always initiated by the other person and I just went also with it. I used to stim by chewing on shirts. I used chewing toys up until 4th grade were after being bullied I started to stim by bouncing my leg, playing with my fingers oh and biting the inside of my mouth. I’m gullible just at because I don’t see the reason why anyone would lie. I can tell sarcasm pretty easily but jokes are really hard for me to get. I did self script in fact I’m realizing now that the entire personality I use in public is completely a mix of traits and talking things from my parents or friends. I would mimic copy peer which always came off as annoying. Yep I have alexithymia I never can figure out what I’m feeling in the moment I thought that was normal and didn’t have a word for it.
I’m not diagnosed with autism but lately RUclips is giving me autism content and I realize how much I relate…
7th grade/Jr high is the absolute WORST time. It's a living hellscape and I'm glad your parents let you be homeschooled for a year to get a break.
For me, I didn't really click with people or develope social skills until college---that time was when I finally had some agency in my life and was finally able to find nerd/geek communities. It's easier to learn social stuff when you feel safe, but for me that didn't happen until early adulthood, because I'm "mean-girl catnip."
I hope one day you can find chill people who you 'click' with.
Musical theater and SCA worked for me, but maybe a robotics club if you are less into music and history and more into modern technology?
Off topic: my bother had a lot of fun building tiny maganelles, trebuchets, and other medieval war engines out of dental floss and chopsticks. It was insane to see how far he could launch a marble.
This was such an interesting video!!! As a neurotypical I follow you to learn more about other people's experiences and your explanations are really clear!! Keep it up!
I look back now to growing up in the 80’s and can see how everything strange I did was really my autism. We didn’t have resources and many of our parents didn’t care or think it was necessary to check why we were strange compared to our peers. When I was in high school, I was evaluated for a “learning disability” and the counselor told my parents that I was smart and able to do the lessons but I was lazy and day dreaming all the time. I’m in my 40’s and now getting my diagnosis. It’s helping me stand up for my needs and getting accommodations. I’m learning to accept myself and love myself. Thanks for posting this Morgan. We need more awareness because it’s still a struggle for girls/women to be accepted as having autism.
As the mum of 3 autistic children, all with different presentations, I am so sorry it took so long for you to get your diagnosis. You are amazing for now helping others with your videos 😊
i appreciate your videos a lot. I reached out to an autism testing center in my area and I asked them if I could get tested and they were like "well even if you were autistic you're too high functioning and so not a priority." That was disappointing. But I appreciate that you do your videos. it's comforting to know that there are other people who are different .I hope you can find things that make you happy.
AuDHD too here! Loved the video :) I relate to the difficulty with hair brushing, wanting to play alone, and being gullible. I’m still super gullible!
I have hypersensitive interoception so that is different for me. I have the opposite experience of alexithymia where all my emotions and bodily cues are so overwhelming and intense, it’s constantly distressing and I can get internal sensory / cognitive overload too.
I loved your disclaimer at the beginning about how we are all so different. :)
I’m sorry they missed it in you, they being the medical professionals. They missed it in me too but my parents always knew. I got my diagnosis September 2022. ❤
Fellow AuDHD’er here and I relate to the hyper interoception and overly intense emotions too. I almost don’t know what I’m feeling because I’m feeling too much sometimes
As someone who’s going to have their autism assessment in one month, I’ve been trying to stay away from knowledge about the process of the assessment but still watch videos about symptoms. I’ve been in serious mental health treatment for 4 years and knowing that a symptom is alexatxymia is so useful. It’s taken charts and so much more, I still remember how confused I was the first few years where I couldn’t quite put into words how unconnected I was to what people said were internal emotions. I went deep into learning mental health treatment resources and now feel like I better understand my emotions, or at least I have the tools to do so when I take the time to focus on my feelings and thoughts
Hi Morgan, my name is Ravi and I just wanted to say how much I love your content, I'm also a late diagnosed autistic person, currently 29, learned about my autism when I was 27. I relate to your experiences very much and I feel like your tiktoks and videos on here are the absolute exact thing I would've needed when I was a teen to understand myself better and not constantly feel like something's deeply wrong with me, but I'm so so glad today's youth may have you to have a better chance than we did. All my love and support goes to you
I was punished for a lot of those things. 😔
Me too. It’s so hard growing up undiagnosed and having no one understand you and constantly be upset with you
Same and I have a neurotypical older sister who would tell me how to do things and what to do. I became a master at masking. Till I had kids... Then things went south.
Same
That's so sad to hear!😢Hope this doesn't happen to anyone anymore.
@@ylgn9561 it does really often, but thats what were fighting for. For people to be able to recognize if they think someone might be autistic or adhd of something like that. Because going undiagnosed sucks. Even if their wrong
Enjoying your videos. I wasn't diagnosed until I was about 39....it changed my life---I understood everything about how I grew up. The whole lack of expression-thing haunted me into my adulthood. Peoplw would yell at me to smile and I didn't understand why. Random people would call me an asshole because of my lack of expression.
The part about you sitting in a corner and having your fingers talk to one another is eerily relatable.
I relate so much to this, was diagnosed last year aged 22 and looking through the years there are so many traits which are clearly obvious yet never picked up! Seen many doctors and specialists yet none of them seemed to ever come across the idea it's autism, even had assistance from a special educational needs assistant at school (something which is often at schools here in England)! Showed signs of having tics on and off for a period of time as a child, a dysfunctional vestibular system which means I walk on my tip-toes, saw a speech therapist as a child and even through close to six years of still ongoing treatment for depression did it click to specialists that it could be autism. Makes me question them sometimes but thank you for making videos and speaking out about your experience with autism!
I'm not autistic, but I feel so seen when you say that you didn't know if you were hungry or full. I don't struggle with that on a severe level like you did (being underweight, never eating on my own, etc) but it happens to me extremely often and I get so frustrated with myself and my body. So glad I'm not the only one, seriously, because it's such a weird experience.
Same with with not knowing how my day was, unless something significant happened or I was in a REALLY good or bad mood. Like, what do you want to hear, mom, it was just a normal school day 😭
OMG I resonate with so many of these. Especially with me being seen as the “well-behaved” child in my childhood by adults because of how quiet I was
Awe, I really feel you and I relate to your experiences of childhood. I was a child in the 60's and 70's. The best the doctors could do was offer my parents anti-anxiety 'medications'. Thank goodness they said, No! To be fair I don't think the doctors knew. Their education is about 10 years behind research. When my oldest son had delayed speech (1986) and was sent to be checked out by a pediatrician, all he concluded was it was my fault my son couldn't talk, I must be using too much body language he concluded. Still kind of unbelievable that autism didn't go in the DSM until 1992. Just because they reissue the DSM regularly, doesn't mean every single practicing doctor, counsellor, or psychiatric professional is reading it anew.
My sons were diagnosed ADHD, at 28 I had testing showing I had ADHD traits. Although it never felt quite right, because I can be highly organized and can complete complex project. So until the last few years of my life, (59 right now), the term autism did not become mainstream in my own mind.
I mostly seen you in the shorts via doom scrolling and I take comfort in being reflected. Thank you for sharing your experiences with the world.
I am not diagnosed as autistic, but all the tests I have been taking say I am... with that said I also dealt with a lot of the same issues as you did. But I was very chatty, and smiley as a baby but I became more a d more withdrawn and quiet as I got older because I was shamed and punished for voicing my issues, meltdowns and such do to my sensory and socializing issues as a kid.
I became extremely independant because I was forced too so I got myself dressed all the time. But I also would lose my shit if my clothes were too tight, or itchy or just sit weird on me. I hated wearing underwear too because I found everything about them to be so uncomfortable. Socks and shoes caused a lot of issues as well when getting me out the door.
We are in the process of having our son diagnosed and he is a soft clothing loving, head touch hating, specific way of playing awesome little guy. He loves his little routine and it is more and more apparent how much he relies on routine.
I am so grateful for my parents that even though they did not know I was autistic they accepted me with every traits and ‘problems’
This was really fun to watch, yet I recognize the massive disconnect between you and your environment. Lucky that you can look back with a smile! 😃
It also shows a lot of strength in you, telling this so openly 💪
amazing video my friend, i am also autistic and i definitely experience some of these growing up with the eye contact, occansional death staring and expressionless, unresponsiveness at times, i had sensory issues involving tickling and if i was writing not wanting anyone to read or look at it, i would also go back and forth with being very talkative and suddenly shockingly quiet, my stimming would be tapping my teeth and i remember i used to believe my mom was actually santa, i also did the same things with minicing characters, a lot of times i would even act out the entire movie (The Spongebob Squarepants Movie being the biggest example) i sometimes would also had trouble making friends to where some would run from me when i just try to talk to them, my family did know that i was autistic from a very young age but i didn't found out i was till 7th or 8th grade, definitely relate to a lot of what you said, anyways amazing video and been loving your content, keep up the amazing work :}
I loved this video! I worked in the field of Autism 20 years ago and it was so different. Neurodivergence and neurotypical weren’t commonly used words…. I never heard them back then. Same with masking or interoception. Asperger’s was still a diagnosis and if people didn’t have communication delay, that is what would be looked at. People didn’t define themself as Autistic, instead being labeled an “individual with autism.” And it was still looked at something that needed a cure.
Very very different. We’ve come a long way. It’s really in the last 5-10 years that I feel it’s been recognized that someone may be Autistic, but not noticeably so. I had what’s so so similar to Autistic burnout and am unsure if I’m autistic. After realizing, I watched my kids at gymnastics class. They are the only ones of all the kids flapping their hands with excitement. (Hmmmm). My sister thinks her and her husband may be too (and I wouldn’t be surprised at all). My uncle fits so much of the criteria. It’s like we are in the Wild West of ASD diagnosis still.
To be clear, I don’t know if I am Autistic, I know I have ADHD. I have issues with interoception, as well as being able to to tell my feelings. As an adult, I have sensory issues. I have trouble adjusting to change of plans. I don’t like being watched when doing things and struggle with PDA, even if the task benefits me. I’m so glad all this information exists. I just wish I knew how to better structure my life. I feel I can’t do it the neurotypical way. But I don’t know new ways to make it work. And it’s very difficult.
Great video, and another "aha" for me, as my mom told me a few times what a quiet, well-behaved baby I was.
Of course, my same behavior through school, all the while being confused and scared by being in school and with other kids.
hi morgan! (ʘᴗʘ✿)
thanks for sharing your experiences. im glad you enjoyed making this video and im extremely admirable of your strength today despite the endless difficulties you endured alone and confusingly.
i am also audhd! i know since its in hindsight its easier to laugh at it, but ive got to say, a good amount of your comparable childhood had triggered unkept emotions and the sense of extreme justice i have for the many others like me, who have had so many deliberately neglect them over blatant ignorance.
its reassuring, now that ive surfaced from the sea of confusion, that i have SO many others that silently suffered with me separately. the misunderstanding and forced conformity from most likey undiagnosed parents who've been victim to the generational cycle of neglect. it makes me enraged and also mourn. my heart and soul goes out to all of you, and you specifically, morgan. I hope no matter what life throws at you, you are okay 🙃
"being expressionless" i immediately knew what u were talking about. sometimes(as acurrent kid/pre-teen) i have to focus on my face expression so if my friends show me some cool trick/s,i wouldnt even pay attention to them,i would only have to know its supposed to be a cool trick so i focus on looking surprised,cuz if i wouldnt try to mask it,i would look at them with a blank face and nod although i'd be impressed. so yeah lolz :)
Thank you for sharing your experiences, traits and symptoms! Your anecdotes help me understand my own traits that I overlooked or misunderstood. ❤
I’m self diagnosed at 50. This made me reflect on my childhood and yes,I was a very weird kid. I have copy of a letter from my grandparents describing me at 16 months as”..a quiet little boy, a very deliberate little boy and placid, very different from his sisters.” But no one paid attention in the 70’s.
Thank you for sharing these stories and perspectives!
I'm late diagnosed and actually didn't have any of these traits as a kid. However, I can somehow completely relate and understand your perspective. I had a very similar internal experience, but was not allowed any outbursts, so my masking and anxiety overshadowed everything else by about age 6. As a result (I think) I struggle to know myself, and hearing experiences like yours allow me a glimpse into things I may have done/wanted/enjoyed had I not been suppressing anything that may garner attention/judgement/punishment.
I can see your journey has not been easy, but it seems your parents offered you safety and grace, and that maybe helps you be more aware and accepting of yourself. This is a gift, and I'm grateful you are so willing to share 🤗
I remember going through a time I would purposefully avoid answering questions or responding to questions I didn't have an answer to and my parents would yell at me for it. Especially my mother and she emphasized that it was something identified as an Autism trait and other nonsense that made me so angry and honestly it was only my parents with the issue. All these habits that were potentially linked to my Autism they tried to force me to break so I wouldn't be looked at as if something was wrong with me weren't issues normal people were looking for. Mom was especially obvious to the fact that normal people couldn't tell I had something unless I told them and people weren't being just polite and that my none responsiveness was often the healthest thing I could have done in the circumstance.....Maybe that's why I feel a need to respond to everything now a days.
I relate to your content more than so many others out there that make content about autism. Thanks for this it really helps, I was so gaslighted for so long
Morgan I love you thank you for even making videos in the first place you help me so much
Thanks for sharing, Morgan. I worked with autistic children and can recognize some of the traits here.
Sometimes, I wonder if I have it, but I don't share many of your experiences. I would say my biggest concerns are maladaptive daydreaming, being unable to express myself, misphonia, and social issues.
When I was a kid, I used to act out my daydreams. Like I would legit talk to myself, cry, and laugh based on what I was fantasizing at the time. One time, my parents caught me and said, "Who are you talking to?"
I had trouble talking about my emotions. My mom would ask me what's wrong, and I'd just sit there, mute. It's like I feel and experience pain, but I can't convey it verbally. One time, I was at an event in college, and my roommate asked if I was enjoying it. I said yeah, but apparently I didn't look like it?? 🤷🏾♀️
I have pretty bad misophonia. Ironically, I love ASMR. 😅 But when I was younger, I used to scream at my parents to stop gulping, sneezing, chewing gum, etc. The sounds made me want to cry. They'd get so mad. To this day, I can't tolerate certain noises, but I can suppress my reaction better. 😢 I also don't like to be touched. When my mom used to do my hair, I sat on the floor, and she sat on the couch. When her foot would brush against my leg or something, I'd squirm and try to move away.
On a related note, I have a strong attention to detail. But I get hyper focused on it to the point where I'm not productive.
My social issues are mostly relationship related. I was a very shy kid. Now, it doesn't bother me too much to talk to people (although phone calls still trip me up), but I can't form relationships. I've been a loner my whole life. I did have friends, but no one I was close to. I haven't had friends since I graduated from high school. 12 years ago. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin no matter where I go. It's like I'm constantly trying to act normal.
So, idk if any of this is autism or I'm just freaking weird. 😅
I really appreciate you making these videos I really enjoy psychology and especially like learning about autism and ADHD and you have so much info about autism ❤
I use to know this boy that was very autistic and I went to a pretty expensive Catholic school and he left my class in 5th grade but he would have to go to the hospital constantly he was missing school constantly I felt bad for him and I found out that he wouldn't. Eat at all at lunch or home I knew he wouldn't eat at school but it got so bad that his mom had to come to our school to feed him eventually he had to leave P.S. Ily Morgan!❤
Sometimes I gaslight myself into thinking that I've gaslighted myself into thinking I have autism because I don't have every single autistic trait, even though I have an official diagnosis 😂
I also gaslight myself into thinking I’m not autistic and I also have a formal diagnosis
I do too...how can you stop? I was hoping telling my family would make it more 'real' but I'm too afraid of being dismissed while needing validation...
It has similarities to adhd. They are miss diagnosed. The hunger one etc. Is a huge adhd trait.
I gaslight myself into thinking that I've gaslighted myself into thinking that I've gaslighted myself into thinking I'm autistic 😅
@@morgaanfoleyI have a random question what’s your ethnicity?
Hi! So I'm a 15 year old female and I'm not diagnosed with Autism or Adhd bit my cousin recently asked me if I was Autistic and I said no. She said that noticed a lot of traits in me that pointed to Autism and Adhd. I don't know what to think because I do know that I have odd behaviors that I thought was normal but when I ask and people say no I feel like I'm weird and something is wrong with me. This video made me try to think if I had any Autistic traits during childhood but it's hard for me to remember because I was an abusive household and I was isolated from people a lot. The only thing that I know is that I never really cried or made noises as I baby, even if I was hungry or needed a diaper change. But now idk. Ever since my cousin asked me it feels it feels like I'm having a mental crisis and I'm questioning my whole life. I feel like I'm just being an attention seeker and maybe I'm just weird.
Sorry for such a long comment
Do you go to school and if yes I think a good first step would be if you ask to speak to your school counsellor, theyll be able to help with your anxiety and help you find resources and pathways to other support if you need it . Colleges also have student counsellors, or there might be someone in the community like at church.
This is me rn I was recently asked by a family member if I thought about autism. I don’t remember any of my child hood either.
I had the same imposter syndrome experience. Doing the assessments on the 'embrace autism' website helped make my thoughts more solid, and served as a great stepping stone to formal assessment.
Understanding yourself is powerful 🤗
The thing is you said it was an abusive household so you might have also been neglected which is why you stopped bidding for attention or affection bc no one was going to come for you. I do think you should try therapy bc it might be complex ptsd and maybe after you're in therapy for a but you can ask about getting tested for autism.
You do an amazing job with facial expressions. I would never know you had to work so hard learning how to do it.
You made me cry 😢 this could be my childhood, but without so supportive parents. I haven't been diagnosed yet
Unrelated, but I love your jacket, especially the colours. Very beautiful
I'm gonna comment on these as I watch the video.
1. Interoception: I had this and still do! I won't notice that I'm thirsty or need to use the bathroom until I'm done with a task and its somewhat urgent. As a child, this made people mad.
2. Being expressionless: I don't know about most of those examples, but I know for sure that my mom said I was an easy baby. I would just be happy to lay or sit on a blanket with toys and just lay there, I wouldn't get into anything, kind of just looked around. I always looked down and found eye contact intimidating.
3. Verbal communication - this was definitely me.
4. Delayed responses - again, definitely me. By the time I was ready to talk to them, they're gone.
5. Sensory issues - yes! With clothes and food. And microfiber cleaning cloths specifically.
6. Play issues - I was very isolated in school. There was a phase where I wanted to be friends with a certain group of kids so I followed them around at recess, at a distance, not interacting just watching, until the teacher pulled me aside and told me to stop and go play. I just wanted to play Harry Potter with them and had no clue what to do.
7. I had to be told about Santa too. And the others. I remember I was devastated.
8. I mimicked characters too. Got in trouble a lot at home for it and eventually just clammed up.
I realised recently that I made friends at school by just waiting for people to come and make friends with me! I was often described as shy, but like you very chatty at home - after parents' evenings my parents would often jokingly say "I think they got the wrong child", because the teachers would always describe me as being very quiet.
Also, you're the only other person I've heard say that they didn't always have feelings about something; I would experience things, but I didn't always have the strong emotions attached to that experience that others seemed to expect me to have. I would basically give the answer I they were expecting. Especially if someone asked, "Are you feeling excited/nervous/etc?" I'd just agree with them or if it was a choice, then I'd say "a bit of both".
I’m pretty sure I’m autistic and watching your videos is showing me things that I see happening to myself. so thank you ❤
I relate to so many of these traits but it's also interesting to see some of the differences especially if they're the polar opposite of what I might experience! Love this video
I am Autistic and literally EVEY SINGLE THING that you said in this video is exactly on my spectrum of autism.
I feel more understood now i watched your video, thank you :)
My psychiatrist refuses to diagnose me with autism still because I had childhood trauma and he I quote said “Autistic kids live normal lives and don’t have trauma.” I know I’m on the spectrum.
@allycat365 I was told to do actual neuropsych testing instead of seeing behavioral health. I am switching to a new psychiatrist though. I hated that response. He’s 80 and needs to retire.
Whaaaaat? He’s so wrong
You are such an amazing person. I love watching your vids because I relate to them a lot. Thank you!!
Thanks Morgan. I JUST remembered something my parents tell me sometimes : as a child when they cut my nails I would then keep my hands out for quite a while. Clearly sensory discomfort post cut.
I'm waiting to be assessed, so need to add this to my list of traits.
hey! i uhh i have a question (directed at anyone at all!) about autism diagnostic situations
i really related to the short about taking the autism assessment, and generally every video you make (without a few ofc), but mainly i'm asking about diagnostic processes, i was told that i don't have autism because my responses weren't what they would expect, but i still do think that i have autism
they asked me if i would prefer to go to the museum or a party for example, and i said what kind of party and what kind of museum, because i don't like art museums at all but i'd go nuts for a marine life museum or a dinosaur museum. if it was a party with my friend there then i'd pick that over most museums, especially since my friend isn't very social so i know that if they were going then it must be something enjoyable so despite sensory issues i would go as well
i've related to all the shorts you've posted so far (i thought seeing animals in abstract tile patterns was normal lol) and i'm just confused honestly, because i got told i'm not autistic but it seems that anything i see that is autism related i relate to and the symptoms do describe me
the diagnostic session i had was very strange, it lasted only 20 minutes and i wasn't allowed to see the results, it was just one multiple choice thing and the worst part is she changed some of my answers
she asked me if i have any obsessions or if i collect information, i said yeah i collect pokemon and i collect sylvanian families dolls and she was like no, information not objects, and i said okay, marine life, and she said no i meant trains or birds and put me down as not having any
she also told me that my love for pokemon was a video game addiction 🗿 🗿
is it okay to still identify as autistic and to aim to get a reevaluation?
If you think doctors aren't properly listening to you, keep fighting until you find one who will ❤
The reason this went wrong was that the person doing the evaluation was an idiot.
You need to try again and again unfortunately. There is another autism channel with a man diagnosed late, and he said that he went to 12! people before he got a diagnosis.
Watching a lot of these videos because I'm wondering if I'm autistic. I've had such an unbelievable tough time just existing in this world, and it's often led me to feel very down about everything. I recently discovered not everyone has a million processes running through their head sin regards to social interaction... ie checks like 'am I making enough eye contact' 'am i making sure my hand movements and body language are right' etc... Was hardest recently when I made a series of social blunders with various people, one after the next.
Above all else, I wish people just saw the level of effort I put in every single day in terms of functioning. But I know they don't, and probably won't. And man, that's a tough ass pill to swallow.
Even now that I’m in college (I commute from home) I’ll come home and my parents will say “How was your day?” and I’ll think for a couple seconds and just say “I learned __”. My base emotional state is ambivalent and it takes something pretty drastic for me to start talking about my emotional state.
I'm not sure if I'm neurodivergent or not but I love watching these types of videos because 1. They're really interesting and relatable and 2. I write neurodivergent characters and this helps me with "research" in a way. :)
I've also never heard someone else who mimicked characters like I did until this video!! When I was little I had tons of "phases" when I was "obsessed" with a certain movie or game and it changed every few months or so. Some huge things I did this with were Cars (Mater and Finn McMissile) The Incredibles (Dash), Wreck-It-Ralph (Felix), and Minecraft: Story Mode (Jesse and Radar). I copied characters' mannerisms, quotes, outfits, everything! I still do this to some extent. My current "obsession" is The Outsiders (book and movie) and I've been into it for like 5 years now! I still mimic the characters by dressing like them and acting sort of like them! (especially Ponyboy and Johnny). I love The Outsiders so so much!! I've also started doing the same thing with Elvis Presley, as he's my favorite musician, and also some of my other favorite 50's rockabilly artists.
I also have an incredibly hard time with communication. I never know how to interact with my peers and I'm scared to go out on my own in the world as I am eighteen now. I really wish I knew why. I know it could be neurodivergence, but if it's not, then that's okay! I'll just go on with my life if it turns out I'm not autistic. Either way (if I ever find out) it will be a learning experience.
Wow, I always seem to ramble on and on! Sorry for the long comment!
I pick at my split ends and this is the first time I've heard of someone else picking at their split ends too! I had joined the trichotillomania subreddit, but I didn't see any posts focusing on split ends, so this is kinda refreshing to hear. I'm 28 and I haven't been diagnosed with autism but I wouldn't be surprised if I was (I relate to other traits too, not just the hair pulling)
I think I was also pretty expressionless as a child. I got one comment in the 7th grade from another kid about my face looking weird that always stuck with me, I remember that moment to this day and have to actively mentally remind myself to put on an expression in public, as I think my natural face isn't a death stare, but just like a zoned out, in my own world sort of face.
I think the main sensory issues I had as a kid were food aversions. I remember I had one friend the majority of elementary school, and this girl's dad telling my friend that he didn't like it when I came over because I was a very picky eater. I remember thinking I didn't feel like I was being picky, but I don't remember the foods he made as much anymore so I can't remember what I actually thought about most of them. I do remember though that I spent a lot of time at my aunt's place growing up, and in the morning she would serve my sister, my cousin and I all hard boiled eggs for breakfast, and I HATED them. The white part of the egg was not too bad, just a bit squishy, but I could not stand the crumbly texture of the yolk in the middle, and the flavor of it made me nauseous, and sometimes I gagged. I would sit there at the dining room table forever as my aunt told me I could not leave until I finished my breakfast, and child me should have just stuffed the egg in my mouth and gotten it over with, but I absolutely could not stand those eggs and opted instead to sit there, refusing to eat it, every single morning, until the last possible second when I was about to be late for school. I also hated fatty meats, and meats with skins on them. If we got a rotisserie chicken for dinner to share as a family, I would peel off the skin and only eat specific parts of it, and my aunt used to complain that I barely ate any of my protein because again, the texture of the skins and fatty parts were absolutely awful, and I refused to eat them. I'd just eat the actual meaty parts, which really she should have been fine with, but I think she mainly didn't like that I'd make a mess on my plate by picking apart my dinner to get to the edible parts.
Wow!! So insightful. Thank you for sharing. Wish more teachers and therapists received more information on autism
The baby fro though was so cute ☺️
My parents didn't take me to therapists or doctors despite my obvious traits of adhd and less obvious (I guess) traits autism as well.
But the reason it's interesting: they always explained those traits for me being like my mom's family. The thing is, after my diagnosis, I can see that most of them are neurodivergent too, and I laugh a lot about it. yes, I am like my mom's family, but none of us are normal 😂😂
I use to also play with my hands as friends. And my stimming was usually making sounds like rolling R. Because it felt so weird and made my vision bounce
you are an amazing ambassador, TYSM
Currently studying to be a therapist/counselor and honestly hearing your story here I hope makes me more aware so I can help spot this in others rather than how yours made assumptions about you
I relate to basically every one and autism runs in my family yet my parents still think I’m just looking for attention! I HATE HAVING ATTENTION ON ME!!!!
I don't have any diagnose, but I am sure that I am neurotypical) And really love your videos, the content, the presentation - everything is perfect))
Love your vids ❤ and I have ADHD and my parents just said I have attention issues 😮
the emotion wheel that relates physcial responses to emotions os really helpful
Ie . increased heartrate, sweaty hands stomach pain nausea. then links those back to an emotion.
Thank you for sharing your stories. It will help the younger generation even more. 😊
Dude I also got a friggen bowl cut because I hated people touching my hair. My mom dressed me for school because I could not bear doing it myself. I was also selectively mute, and also play alone a lot. And spent hours setting up the toys, but never really played with the “Barbie’s” and I also stunned like crazy, lack of autism, etc. I won dancing competitions because I loved dancing, but as soon as I grew conscious of people seeing me I stopped. Now I stim like crazy at yoga.
I was also a gullible child, and I still am gullible. I still use echolalia, and imitate characters, etc. I’m 34 and mother to a 12 year old. Coworkers treat me like I’m the R word, but at I’m “really smart”. I’m sooooo happy for your channel. You remind me of a younger me. Might be the curls, too ❤❤
Everybody is always smiling in my old family photos, except me, I’m always straight-faced. Adults would consistently create a scene about it, which was so embarrassing! Yet I never learned. Instead, I associated cameras with unwanted attention and would cry about posing for photos.. I was eventually trained to contort my face to standard, via that negative reinforcement. But it took way too long, lol. I would suggest training such children with positive reinforcement instead, in the form of bribes. That would’ve been so much easier to process. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
Hi Morgan!
I believe that I have autism but don’t know how to approach my parents with it. Any tips? I also fear i won’t be taken seriously because when you google “autistic traits in girls” it mainly says ‘emotionless’ or ‘social anxiety’ but I am the complete opposite! I never don’t have a smile on my face and will talk to anyone and everyone.
I LOVE UR VIDS BTW
My family never cared that I had an ADD diagnosis. Early on in school I was put in a special needs reading class for a semester, but nothing after that. I barely graduated from high school. Almost 2 decades later, nothing has changed in my family, except that they probably don’t like me even more than when I was young. I know people will think this is in appropriate, but I’m glad that 2 of the most hurtful people in this family can no longer punish me, may God rest their souls. I still have not found the right place or the right people to be around in order to be a ‘productive member of society’. I’m not sure if I have some strange sub-type of ADHD or if I’ve also got ASD. I’m damn near 40 years old and still can’t do life right. And now I can’t even remember what my point was, so now I’m just rambling. I hope you all get the support you need, life does not get any easier when your older so please learn to advocate for yourselves. There were so many situations that I had to just ‘bottle everything up’ so that I didn’t cause more of a scene and get into even more trouble… and sometimes I wish that I didn’t… maybe I would have got the help I needed, I just didn’t want to be a burden for people around me, and I certainly did not want to get sent away from home… life can be such a difficult nightmare to deal with. Please advocate for yourselves, your not just another number in the system, your a human being and your life and experience is every bit as valuable as all the others. Take care.
💜 wow... listening to these traits has made my wierd childhood make so much more sense now... the gullible thing really hit home... some people took advantage of that thinking i was dumb or stupid then bullying me about it... but i was just a very literal... autistic... little girl 💜
Loved this video, thank you Morgan for the excellent information. My daughter and myself are very similar
So much of what you shared about your childhood is what my daughter is doing now lol.
I was diagnosed autistic at 35, 5 years ago after bringing our children to therapy. The therapist looked back and forth between my ex and i and pointed at me and said, get yourself tested lol
my parents would also get mad when i said that i didn’t know how my day went so i just started saying “good” to avoid that lol
You brought back a long forgotten memory to me. The whole conversing fingers. XD I did that. One was a boy the other girl..i forgot which hand was which tho. But omg! You just helped me realise so much more about myself and the possibility of me having autism.
Hi Morgan! I know you from TikTok. I recently started my own YT channel about my experiences. I discovered that I'm Autistic at the age of 37 (in the end of last year). I try to follow as many Autistic/Neurodivergent content creators as possible because I wanna learn and understand more about it. This video is really interesting! Thank you for talking about your childhood. I don't get why people didn't notice that I'm different. This is why we need to talk about ourselves. / Isabella
Thank you for the video. You are very knowledgeable and well spoken. Keep up the good work 👍🏾
omg i was the 100th like! also, i love seeing videos like this because i do
most of these things and it just gives me a sense of not normalness, but knowing why. basically tysm for existing and making these videos! 🩷
I don‘t know whether I am autistic or not. My parents told me I was the easiest baby- I was lying in my crib and rotating my hands and just watching them for ages. I also love the copying- to this day (I’m 43) I’m imitating people I find interesting and I’m also citing movie characters or I‘m singing like all the time when I feel safe.
As a diagnosed autistic person, sounds like some things I do. I’ve heard an autistic trait is copying characters/people you admire
im 13 and i have been Selective Mute since i was 3 and still am also i do have Anxiety which is 2nd on the list then autism 3rd on the list then tics
Poor interoception. I wouldn't pick up on that I needed to pee until I really needed to pee. This resulted in lots of accidents and narrowly making it to the bathroom even as a 9 year old.
Verbal communication was complicated for me too. I wouldn't know how to do social interaction or pick up on inflection or if an adult or another child was teasing me or joking.
Sensory issues. Oh my lord yes. Tags, itchy clothes, sock seems, they were all awful. And brushing or combing my hair was torture.
I remember getting a gift for my birthday one year and being super excited about it and all the other kids going outside to play without me while I sat by myself.
Echolalia and scripting, ditto. And embodying tv and movie characters.
Have you ever had the problem where your body wouldn’t wake you up when you needed to pee? Bc as embarrassing as it is, I wet my bed often as a kid bc of this
Like, to put it into perspective, it ended once I was like 12. I still have the problem periodically
The last time I wet myself I was 14 due to interoception issues... Probably shouldn't be putting that on the internet 😂
(Edit: typo)
So many people had the idea of autism to be like Rain Man, although you may be too young for that reference. The other problem that happens in schools is if the kid is quiet and leaving people alone there is less of an effort to get to the bottom of the behavior. Wild and loud get the attention. Sadly, expectations for girls still seems to be lower. A girl could be labelled as a dreamer or simply not too bright, but if you were flipping desks or punching out kids on the ice, people probably would have worked harder to help you.
I had the EXACT same thing with doctors & therapists.
I didn't find out I was autistic until I saw your videos and looked back on my childhood - I'm 55 years old! That and being a Christian; I was REALLY bullied to the point where I don't want to go out anymore because I get so drained.
I was told by an Englishman the reason lettuce isn't in their cuisine is bc the climate is too cold to grow it. I'm a horticulturist and anglophile, I adamantly stood by this for years. Unrelated, I'm no longer friends w that guy
Omg, you described my child almost to the T, I always thought my child was perfect as a baby too, like ideal baby. We are still trying to process this late diagnosis ourselves too
Me over here like what do you mean it’s not normal to play alone? Bro I was having arguments with teachers over not wanting to play since preschool 😅
Same!! I would beg to stay inside during recess
I always had trouble with verbal communication (near mute with strangers) and also blank stared as a kid when not with close people until I was pressured and then self taught into emoting. I remember consciously learning to smile and laugh at around 8-12 years old. But naaah, I'm just a shy girl, no issues here, just need to "open up" more :/
Relatable stories are always impressive
58 undiagnosed. My diagnosed childhood friend was drugged. He didn't make it. Nobody understood it back then. Learning more from TikTok. Rock On
i'm a 19years old young woman lost i life because of my "health" situation and the last point ust brings me back in my childhood and makes me want to cry
Oh my gosh that last thing - I used to answer I don't know too! I was very truthful and held honesty high, but when I became a teenager I learnt to lie.
4:44 I STILL AM LIKE THIS like this literally me omgggggg😭
Thank you, really enjoyed that. I think I am just self diagnosing myself as autistic at age 47. Possibly AuDHD. I enjoy your content.
Thanks for sharing your story I can relate to the Some of what you’re talking about.