Brian Laundrie's Mother Writes "Burn After Reading" Letter | Gabby Petito Lawsuit Analysis
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- Опубликовано: 2 янв 2025
- This video answers the question: Can I analyze the “Burn After Reading” letter written by Roberta Laundrie?
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I used to be the kind of parent who said "I will always support you and love you". And then one of my kids committed a crime that I could not support or defend. Loving your kids is one thing, but aiding and abetting is completely different.
Love and support includes holding them accountable. ❤
Right! I would love my son regardless, but pacifying his behavior doesn’t equal love .
This is why they say SPOILING and never holding a child accountable is one of the easiest ways to raise a narcissist and these women keep reinforcing it with their sons.
Sons need their fathers for this, mothers are always going to naturally want to protect their children. Having a father in the household drastically improves the future behavior of any male in the family. Women can't, and shouldn't, raise men alone.
Neither of Brian's parents "aided and abetted" him. That would mean they encouraged and helped him strangle Gabby. Clearly they did not. The murder was a crime of passion (not premeditated), and Brian was in another state on the other side of the country at the time. He told his parents well after the fact. Dr. Grande is correct in saying that the parents have the legal right to remain silent, granted by the 5th amendment. That's why they consulted a lawyer to make sure they were not breaking the law.
I don't have kids, but I also would not stop loving them if they committed a crime. I would hopefully seek justice for the victims and get help for my child, but I wouldn't stop loving them.
She absolutely wrote this after he murdered Gaby. If this was before the trip there would be some normal language like "have a great trip. Be safe. Remember to call home. Take lot's of pictures." etc.
Right. It’s weird to mention a body?
Agreed. That's what I do.
@@lisaschmidt8466 Yes. And moreover her offer to supply a trash bag and shovel to help dispose of anybody he murdered betrays her (thankfully subaverage) condonation of murder per se. And her written expressed willingness to be an accessory after the fact to any such murder (and her instruction to her son to "burn" such writing) shows her compound criminal mind.
Exactly. My Mom told me she loved me lots of times. She never once offered to help me dispose of a body.
I'd never write a pre trip letter to my son that says burn after reading lol. This was absolutely written after.
I can not imagine the grief though of everyone involved...
The thing that makes me believe Roberta knew Gabby was dead was because she blocked Gabbys mom on Facebook. Like, your future daughter in law is missing! Why are you blocking her mother and retaining lawyers instead of looking for her?
Some how, they think they can snow every one into thinking it was coincidential. If Gabby's van is still in yer driveway, no matter what happened, per him... a fight, argument.... a falling out, it's as if they're trying to show that it was something else other than murder!! Then, no time to "block" more like... contact them n tell them to get the dam van outta their driveway!!! But, yet that didn't happen. The timeline is everything n I know that they want every one to have amnesia... but we were all concerned in real time, well, i mean, as soon as Gabby's Mom stopped thinking the best of them n faced her reality in relation to them!
Agreed.
This! Exactly! blocking the mother and contacting the attorney. Had the letter been written prior to her death, it would seem more like as the Dr. said bridging a gap......
Yes, sadly overlooked as evidence of inflicting pain and suffering by these wicked parents against Gabby's parents. I worked with a gal whose son murdered and cut up his girlfriend and my coworker and her husband tried to help cover it up. Shameful!
Because you choose to believe the Petito's allegations with no proof or evidence to back it up.
Why did the Petito's take over two weeks to report their daughter missing? Would a desperate and frantic parent not file a missing person's report instead of calling two people not answering their phones? It took less time for them to book an interview with Dr.Phil for 25K after Gabby was found.
I smell a rat and it isn't the Laundries.
That letter sounds more like a sick love letter than a heartfelt letter from a mom to a son.
Mayb to prove his love for his parents he was expected to off himself n the "actions" part of the letter was just the impedus. She's quoting as if on a par w/ God. Speaking of eternity as an eternity of HER love, cuz ya know.. God may not look too kindly on a murder, altho forgiving does not mean un punishable! She's being as deep as she would ever be as this probably was the last connection to her son on earth. Now THAT is very plausible to me.
The problem I have with Roberta’s unconditional “love” for Brian is that she wasn’t just saying she would always love him no matter what he did. She went further to imply that she would also help him hide, cover up, escape the consequences of whatever act he had committed(or might commit). That’s not love. That is worshipping and enabling. It’s not surprising that he was as self centered as he was.
Yes, "always loving" doesn't mean you shouldn't speak out against the loved one's behavior. Indeed, to avoid criticism of his/her anti-social acts is the same as condoning them. Parents are supposed to teach their children right from wrong. To actually offer to assist your child person in evading the consequences of anti-social acts is the highest form of enabling and moral dereliction of duty.
Plus she doesn’t seem at all bothered that perhaps The Petito’s also loved Gabby very much??
@@julielevinge266 I think Brian's mom resented Gabby for taking Brian away from her. That's a strange letter.
She quotes the Bible. Nice touch!
her enabling behavior is what turned him into a wife beater in the first place, there is no way that was his first go around either, and their continuing condoning behavior led them to help him escape seems like not only should his parents lose everything finically but they should also end up in prison themselves, he was young and was enabled not saying he didn't know right from wrong just arguing what is their excuse??
She reminds me of Chris Watts’s mom. No matter how despicable the crimes committed by her son are, she still views him as a perfect little angel, and if he did anything wrong, it was their female partner’s fault for making them do it, and their son should not be punished for doing what they did. Oedipus complex vibes.
Also Chris Coleman's parents were like this with him too when he murdered his whole family. They talked bad about how the wife wasn't fulfilling his manly needs. Same story again.
Exactly
I JUST commented that, lol. Totally. Totally. Weirdo mom makes for a narc son.
Just thought of another mom who was like that with her son, Scott Peterson's mom!
Wow, you are all 100% correct about this!! How’s that for consistency, it makes me want to do a deep dive into the upbringing of other wife killers and family annihilators, just to see how consistent the trend is!
Every time I hear excerpts from that letter I feel creeped out. That letter sounds, to me, much more like a letter to a lover than it does a letter to a son. I love my son but if I gave him a letter like that, I'm pretty sure he would think I'm weird. It just really sounds like trying to prove your love for someone you haven't taken care of for their entire life.
She goes right to the darkest thing - if you’re in jail or kill someone, I’ll help. Bizarre.
Yes!
@@darcymoon2109 you're so right. A healthy child would be creeped out by such talk.
This is in the same ballpark as those moms who get jealous when their sons get married 🤢
My thoughts exactly. It sounds like they have already bumped uglies 🤮🤢😷 His mother was jealous of Gabbie and needed her out of the picture 🫢😲
I can’t stand when mothers cover for their son’s crimes against women. It makes me ill. They raise monsters. Love is not worship. Love is not helping them out of whatever situation they’ve gotten themselves into. Sometimes love is NOT enabling them.
These sons have always got away with anything due to their mothers enabling, so they continue doing so.
You underestimate a mother's love for their children
So it’s the women raising these predators.
This mother loves herself first and foremost, so she loved her son because she saw him as an extension of herself. That letter showed how she sees herself as clever and precious, and basically the center of the universe.
She also conditioned her son to believe women would worship him like she did.
i cant stand when people jump to conclusions about sh*t they dont really know about
The fact that Roberta blocked Gabby's mom speaks volume as to what a cruel person she is!!!
vindictive
yes. that is pure cruelty
I would do anything for my child so I understand.
@@madeleine9907 Seek therapy.
@@madeleine9907 that kind of motherly attitude ruins the kids life. Seen it again and again
I feel bad for Brian's sister. From how she appeared in that interview she gave, when Brian was still missing, she seemed honest, grounded, and quite critical of her family. Obviously there were some issues between her and them. The dynamic between mother and son seemed to be extraordinarily disturbing. I don't want to imagine growing up in an environment like that. Good for her, she has her own family now, with enough distance to her parents.
It makes me tear up.
The interview with the sister that almost didn't happen. She shed light on the way her family was during the interview on her lawn. She said so much, without being belligerent, about her family dynamic.
The sister was sincere. I think the rest of the family knew exactly what Brian had done but they kept her in the dark. They basically threw her under the bus in favor of Brian. That is a sick, twisted family. I hope the sister got as far away from them as she could. It had to have broken her heart.
The sister actually said "first I lost my sister-in-law, now I lost my brother". This was before Brian's body had been found. She and the family knew what had happened and they kept quiet. Remember it was only after enough time had passed where Brian could have killed himself that his father agreed to lead police on a search and they find him right away.
Yes. She does sound like she was selected by them to be the fam scapegoat. Often mothers like that worship one “golden child” (we all know who that was) and another child is the often despised scapegoat. It is very often the male child who is put up on a pedestal and the female child who they envy and see as their “competition.” The GC can end up to be quite rotten while the scapegoated child can wind up demoralized.
You can love your child no matter what, but not beyond the limits of common decency. Roberta is as sick as her son was.
Yes I agree with you, and love means you have the guts to speak up when your kids are going the wrong way. They have a better life and don't harm others if you do the right thing as a mom.
"I would do anything for love, but I won't do that!"
Meatloaf
My parents put it this way “You have to love your children. You don’t always have to like what they DO.”. I love my children unconditionally, but I have no intention of helping them hide any bodies. You can be there for them without covering for them. The extreme emotion expressed in the letter was SO over the top!
@@jimgutt749Your right, I would also do anything for love. That means take the risk of my child and grandkids hatred and loathing by guiding them in the right direction. They must be responsible humans that care for others. Not be selfish shits because I'm too cowardly to speak up.
@@karenneill9109 You are right and honourable as a human. We want your kind not those parents in society. 👍
Mom is a huge enabler. There were no boundaries between mother & son. Their relationship was weird
Narcissist mother teaching her son to be a monster too without shame!
Emotionally incestuous for sure. Yuck.
Sure seems that way. What was "dad" doing this whole time? Seems emasculated and weak.
I get the feeling everyone criticizing her is childless. You don’t understand a mothers love if you think what she wrote is weird.
@@Gramatic69
Tough love is love as well.
If Brian’s parents had gotten help from the proper authorities, he would still be alive. They would still have their son. Gabbi’s parents would have been able to see Brian be held accountable. Their concealment compounded the tragedy
Agreed. Great points.
Agreed!
Agreed, he would have been alive but in jail. I don't think he would have received anything other than life for what he did.
But he'd be alive.
How does Roberta feel about that?
Yes,I agree
Karma.
So I have a question…if your son returns home alone after having departed on vacation with his fiancée, and upon arrival declares that despite having returned alone that nothing whatsoever happened to Gabby (aside from Gabby neither returning with your son nor directly to her own family), and you have no reason to believe your son had anything to do with her disappearance, then why would you hire an attorney that very same day? The fact is his parents hired an attorney because they had reason to believe Brian was responsible for her disappearance. They hired an attorney the day he came home, they blocked communication with her parents, and refused to even refer to their former future daughter in law by her first name. Ladies and gentlemen, there is no question whether Brian’s parents knew. They knew the moment Brian told them and asked for their help.
Either that or they suspected something, but he didn't share much. He could have lied, they suspected the truth but said nothing, and went along with his lie. To claim ignorance later in case things go bad. To look like they too are victims.
I so agree with what you said. They obviously knew that their son murdered her and wanted protection by an attorney for themselves and for their son!
The whole thing was absolutely terrible! I totally agree with Dr. Grande that the letter was written after the murder and not before. And her words speak for itself. Whoever agrees to silence about a murder and goes as far as to say what she said about the body is as guilty as the one who committed a murder in my opinion. As a victim of domestic violence, this tragedy is very close to home when I think that it could have been me or any other person who gets herself or himself involved with a psychopath like him. Sadly she was so young and so beautiful and so full of life and had to lose her life like that. I hope that he burns in he'll for eternity.
Everybody has a right to a lawyer, so... Sure but it does not matter.
Brian probably showed his parents the letter and said "Here I have it in writing- You promised you would help me and cover for me"
I ran a battered women's shelter for 25 years. Parents or one parent enable or cover up abuse in about 65% of all cases combined (in my state). Sadly, it hasn't changed during those years. Other things like more services and laws have improved, though.
"Gabby Petito should have been cited for domestic abuse by Utah police, review finds"......
The law means nothing if cops don't enforce them and DV education cannot be achieved if people justify violence from women.
@emersonmanning6523 Why, because the cops were men and siding with him? Chatting it up with him while she was in the car Crying having a nervous breakdown?! Eat shit
@@emersonmanning6523except she wasnt the abuser lol
@@Sputterbug
According to law enforcement, she was the abuser. You can disagree but your opinion is completely irrelevant.
Does the simple fact that they went out and got an attorney the day Brian returned not speak enough to the fact that they knew ?
And if you speak a word, it gets twisted into some sort of admission of guilt. There's no winning.
Exactly! Thank You!
If you don't get an attorney, you're giving away all of your rights.
That and the fact that they were able to lead authorities directly to the body after weeks of pointless searching kind of shows they knew where he was all along.
Possibly. However it is of note that they had this attorney for years for other legal matters. He almost sounds like a family friend. But they obviously consulted him upon Brian's return as he admitted to speaking to Brian so it certainly would appear this was after Brian confessed to them what he had done. In either case though I don't believe them retaining or speaking to an attorney is something that can be used against them as they were well within their rights to do so. Morally they are repugnant but legally they had the right to say nothing.
In my opinion Bryan is 100% responsible for the murder, but his mother’s overbearing nature sounds downright abusive. People don’t realize how insidious the damage is from a mother who selfishly refuses to let go of her son or daughter.
Absolutely. It's got the stink of "you'd better not leave me" manipulation all over it. I wouldn't be surprised if the trouble between mother and son was because Roberta was jealous of Gabby (any woman, really). God, she's the quintessential mother-in-law from hell.
My mother is the same way
So true. My mother in law continues to smother love her golden child. She even uses Munchausens by Proxy. Her daughter and herself are continually complaining about their "medical injuries" Seeking sympathy we are so sick of it.
I had a friend in HS who's mother essentially made him her husband (she'd emotionally manipulate him and would vent about inappropriate topics like her dating life).
There's a reason the devouring mother is such a mainstay in story telling, it's relatable to so many people.
I agree fully that he was responsible for his actions. This letter as idk Roberta and I'm not a shrink could have very well been her begging her son to be fully truthful and take responsibility trying to bargain with him perhaps idk. What I do believe is this young man had no respect for his mother and it was not by mistake that he left it behind to be found. Honesty is indeed the best policy. Her son was not a nice person and I think she underestimated his problems.
I have never heard such ramblings of a mother to her son, she must be unhinged! We do love our sons, but that is over the top!! Poor Gabby she didn’t stand a chance against this monster! If my son committed murder I would hand him in!! Thanks Dr Grande.
Yep, like the mother of the killer, Terry Driver, turned her own son in immediately after she realized her son murdered a girl in Canada in 1995. ruclips.net/video/k4I2h9M52YA/видео.html
Sucks that your son probably doesn't know what it feels like to have someone in your corner no matter what. A mom should be the one a son can always run to in the worst, darkest moment.
@@baddudecornpop7328 😂😂😂 that's ridiculous.
@@baddudecornpop7328you know that’s sick, right? If you raised your kid right, there would never be a need to show up with a shovel and garbage bags.
@@baddudecornpop7328 Bryan is that you?
This mother basically admitted that she would help her son bury a body if he killed someone. I love my 4 children with all of my heart and they know it, however, NEVER would I write something like this to any of them. The Oedipus complex is very strong between this mother and her son. Some mother's of sons cannot stand the idea of being "replaced" by a woman. This mother seems to be one of those. Poor, poor Gabby. May her memory forever be a blessing.
They could still love their son, but hate what he did. In this situation they should have helped their son understand and face the consequences of his actions. That is love. Covering up his crimes condones them and corrupts him. His mother needs to remember Gabby was someone's child as well.
THIS
BAM. 💯
How do you know what the Laundries did or did not do?
"Also as a side note, it demonstrates that Brian wasn't very good at following directions".
Love your sense of humor Dr G!
That passage from the Bible she quotes is saying that nothing can separate us from the love of God--not that nothing can separate people from other people. She really did a number on taking quotes out of context.
Exactly what I was thinking.
Not to mention to write a letter like this to your grown child is just creepy, almost inappropriate as if she had some sort of sexual relationship with her son and was jealous of his relationships outside or his with his mother. Roberta is just creepy and definitely had a weird relationship with her adult son.
Yes, she significantly changed it. 😮
Now we’re certain who the narcissist is in the family.
@@stephanieburgess8217 The Oedipus Syndrome!
I just realized I believe Brian‘s mother was jealous of Gabby. I never thought of that till I listen to you now.😮😮❤
Ew, Oedipus. You’re right.
@@awg7068 LOL. It is strange for a mom to be that way. Ew is right!!
He was abusing her way before this and his mother still worshipped him. If she knew exactly where the body was she'd never tell anyone.
That letter reads like it's from a stalker. That is really really unsettling that a mother wrote that to her grown son.
This letter explains why Brian ended up being what he is. He was probably the golden child, the child who could do no wrong. This made him feel entitled to anything he wants, including the admiration of Gabby. How sad.
Concerning the letter’s instruction to “burn after reading…it appears that Brian was not good at following directions.” Always appreciate your wry comments, Dr. Grande, amid such a tragedy.
I don't have children. I have no maternal instinct nor grace, kindness and empathy required to raise a good one. However , if this is how she coddled him, no wonder he has no sense of responsibility or ability to face the consequences of his actions.
It’s so refreshing when someone understands themself enough to know they wouldn’t be a good parent to a needy tiny child. And that’s ok! I wouldn’t make a good football player lol we all have our limitations and we can’t be “anything” like so many parents tell their kids. ❤
Not one of my siblings has children, but at least one of them would throw her weight around to cover something a child (mine and others) did.
The fact that they did not answer or respond to Gabby's family's requests about her whereabouts prior to reporting her missing and after he returned alone tells me they knew he did something. If he wasn't guilty they could have just stated they broke up and came home without her.
"mom we got into a fight and I choked her to death"
you think he said that?
I love that you address everything, but always put emotions aside and stick to the facts. That isn’t always easy to do. Another great video!
What an incredibly weird letter to send to your child. It reads like one of passion and obsession that someone might send a romantic partner in extreme circumstances. The exact opposite of the type of letter that I would expect a mother to send to her son whom she felt estranged from.
Agreed, the whole letter is creepy. Regardless of when it was written I think it shows the problematic and obsessive relationship his mother had with him.
If you ever have children you will understand.
@@Gramatic69 I have children. I also have grandchildren. I have been estranged from my son in the past. Even though we are reconciled now, it would have been inconceivable that I would have ever written him a letter such as this, either as a bridge building endeavour, or for any other reason.
Maybe . . . perhaps she had a sense that her son was going to take his own life--that is what he did after all. I could imagine a mother feeling desperate in that situation. You don't want your son to die. He obviously realized that he was a despicable monster and was overwhelmed with guilt. He knew he would have to face justice and at the very least spend the rest of his life in a U.S. prison, a.k.a. hell. He didn't want to face punishment. What else can you say to your son who is a murderer? You hit the nail on the head. This is an extreme circumstance.
@@Lpement stop making excuses for these garbage monsters
Even if she wrote it before he left she let her son know, in no uncertain terms, he could kill someone, anyone, and she would help him get away with it. She raised someone who thought he had a right to kill someone and still be loved this deeply. Her “love” raised a monster, she did not have a son, she had a murderer.
exactly this doesn't make his mom look any better even if it was written 2 whole years before he met Gabby
Her protecting him completely is probably why he behaved so badly. Never having to be responsible for your actions
Couldn't even take full responsibility in his own confession suicide note. Framed it like a mercy killing and that was that.
What did she protect him from?
A lot of misogynistic mothers who are coached by equally misogynistic religious people behave like this.
@@emersonmanning6523 facing the truth, that he was a cold blooded murderer and going to jail and facing consequences for his wrongdoings!
..... WHAT ELSE!
@@pilarortega6334
How did she protect him?
Even if the letter was written before the murder (not saying I think it was) - good grief, Roberta, is it any wonder that your son would have felt justified and empowered to inflict abuse and then ultimately strangle and kill this girl after learning from you that you'll help him cover it up? EVEN IF (and I know, it's a big if) she was just being exaggerative and being dramatic to make a point about the lengths she would go to, what rational mother would tell their child, even jokingly, they would help them conceal a murder? What an absolute mom FAIL.
Given the dramatic tone of the letter, I also think it was written after the murder.
You brought an excellent point in your final thoughts - maybe Brian came to expect the same unconditional love from a romantic partner, which is highly dysfunctional to say the least.
Thank you for another great review, Dr. Grande.❤
😂 "people who are capable of killing are usually hard to get along with, mostly because of the murder part. " Excellent point.
It just grabs your heart to think that that sparkling, lovely girl ever got mixed up with this family. This “mom” is really goofed up. When I see stories like this, it makes me so grateful to have had my mom and dad. Who ever thinks these things, let alone write them down?
Reminds my of Chris watts mother. Sick mothers produce such children.
Religious wackos.
Gabby had a role in her tragedy. That doesn't give cover to Brian and his family, but she made a few unfortunate decisions.
@@GoGreen1977 stop victim blaming. In no way is Gabby responsible for her own death.
@@mykidsaresupercute She publicly battered him, which is why the police were first called. Doesn't mean he should have killed her, but she was no innocent angel.
She literally wrote a weird love letter to her son. It's not normal.
Incest!
Do you have kids? Cats don’t count.
I agree! I mean, she would go to the moon and exchange guts w an alien? What kind of PERSON even thinks that way!!?
Are you normal? Nobody is normal if you manage to dig deep enough. But she loved her son and wanted him to know this. Her way to express it may not be yours, so what.
@@ronald3836 Yeah, listen to Dr. John Mathias in hidden true crime podcast, but oh, wait, I guess you know better than a forensic psychologist with over 20 years of experience. Are you kidding me?
Thanks!
It really makes me angry that she used a biblical passage in such a disgusting way. IMO Roberta is a narcissist, and so was her golden child, Brian.
Indeed. Those verses are regarding us with Jesus/God. not us to eachother.
Romans 8:31-39
....
nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from
the love of God
that is revealed in
Christ Jesus our Lord.
Why? The vast majority of bible thumpers are completely nuts.
The Bible is open to interpretation. Most religious folk I've met are super messed up. the other ones as balanced and intelligent as any people around. It's no panacea
Christian’s are some of the most hateful, evil people I’ve ever met
Is Brian really dead?. sounds like she helped plan the murder ? It is giving me Norman Bates vibes. I feel bad for Gabbys parents who they gaslighted this whole time.
The Laundrie’s should be charged with accessory after the fact as a minimum. It is Despicable what they did to Gabby’s family.
Unfortunately parents are exempt in Florida.
Edited for clarification: Close family members are exempt from 'accessory after the fact' charges in Florida.
You have no concept of the law
Yes, unfortunately Florida has that law. I think the Petitios (sp?) should file a petition to have the law changed and call it Gabby’s law. All/Any who willing know of or participate in a crime or cover up of a crime is an accomplice to said crime.
@@CapnWack no sir , it is you who does not. An accessory-after-the-fact is someone who assists 1) someone who has committed a crime, 2) after the person has committed the crime, 3) with knowledge that the person committed the crime, and 4) with the intent to help the person avoid arrest or punishment. An accessory after the fact may be held liable for, among other things, obstruction of justice.
Title 18 of the U.S. Code deals with crimes and criminal procedure. Accessory-after-the-fact has been codified in 18 U.S. Code § 3.
In Bollenbach v. United States, 326 U.S. 607 (1946), the Supreme Court refused to apply principal liability (either as a principal in the first degree or as a principal in the second degree) to an accessory-after-the-fact. This contrasts with the ability of an accessory before the fact to have principal liability.
Why are the parents responsible for reporting a criminal act?
Its a hard position to be in and seeking an attorney was actually the right thing to do because after the dust settles you dont know what price you can end up paying for the supidity of your adult son.
The state is supposed to investigate and prosecute. If the laudries lied to law enforcement then maybe that will be soomething (but they probably communicated through an attorney). Eitherway this man was an adult and it was he who committed a crime. Morally speaking its a good thing to say what you know but consider that you may have a lot lf assets on the line for something you did not do.
parents who condone covers for their kids' crimes are themselves the problem.
They made him the way he was. No one was ever going to love him like Mommy.
Yes!!😢
Religious nutbag parents produce shitty, maladjusted, weirdo kids. This is not a new phenomenon. We know this to be true, and have known it for a long time. Yet we allow it to continue. For what reason? Cowardice? Apathy? Stupidity? Certainly no good reason.
he was a psycho
Yes
And now we know how BL became a monster.
No matter when the letter was written, I get the impressions that this is a woman who would deeply resent any other woman in her son's life. Also, perhaps BL was less restrained towards exhibiting violence towards Gabby knowing Mommy would always cover for him. Even help him dispose of a body.
exactly
The letter is absolutely disgusting . She knew that Brian killed Gabby. She could have stood by her son in many ways. Starting with not staying silent and helping her son turn himself in the proper way. Speaking the truth goes a very long way. She wrote that letter after he killed Gabby. My heart goes out to the Petito family. I hope they win the lawsuit and are able to help other families.
If she knew he killed Gabby, she should have talked him into turning himself in. She could have written a passionate, heartfelt letter to Brian imploring him to turn himself in. If he didn't, she should have turned him in. We love our kids, and would do anything for them. That means doing the very difficult things, like letting them be held accountable for their actions. Brian's mother didn't want to lose HIM! She didn't care about Gabby or anyone else.
@LDiamondz Even if Brian turned himself in the police hands were tied because they had no evidence that a crime had been committed.
I read the letter. I found it very disturbing. She’s a strange woman.
He’s a strange man! He killed her! 😢
I found it hyperbolic
Are you kidding me. She would have done anything for him. That’s what she was saying and he killed her.
Are you kidding me. He killed her
@@barbarafaulder9087 Gertrude is saying Brian's mom's letter was disturbing. The letter wasn't written by Gaby. No one is calling Gaby strange.
Mother way too enmeshed… really disturbing how enabling she was. So of course she covered for him 😢
It seemed like a toxic relationship. Obsessive even on her part.
Makes you wonder if his mom’s enabling enmeshment with him had something to do with his expectations / treatment of women in relationships.
She's sick. No wonder he turned out like that.
@@fighterflight Good point!
@@fighterflight bingo
They may have had the LEGAL right not to say anything, but they had the MORAL right to say something!!!
👏👏👏Couldn’t agree more! Would be a matter of kindness and common sense.
If they had done the right thing and helped their son do the right thing, he would be alive and in prison right now.
If they were an accessory to covering up a crime, then that might be illegal.
Agreed! His Parents were Morally Obligated!
💯
Great topic!! I was happy to see you post this!
“Watch people’s actions - not his or her words” Thank you, Roberta for reminding us that words, like your son’s empty words, have zero meaning and actions, like your evil, spoiled son’s actions, in killing a defenseless young lady, express a person’s true feelings for a victim. It’s a shame when rotten mothers rear evil, horrific children.
I think it's pretty clear why Brian was the entitled, controlling narcissist he was. I'm glad the Petito family are taking legal action even if it eventually 'fails'. It's the only way to hold actions like this at least somewhat accountable in a civil court. If nothing else, they are being held accountable in the court of public opinion.
@@ryanvetter5852 Here come all the butthurt men with their own personal grievances and found the worst possible story to vent them with. This is a pointless, trite comment. No shit it takes two to tango. This wasn't tango, this was murder.
I’m trying to picture any of my kids’ faces if I wrote a letter to them like that…
Mine would have loaded me into the car and supervised the 51-50 admission to hospital for evaluation.
🤯😨🤮
Hi Susan!!!😍
😅
I would have been ghosted... kinda like what the Laundries did to the Petitos. Wouldn't be for no reason.
This letter was very disturbing. I don’t believe for a second that it was written before the trip. I suspect that it was written when he returned home. Roberta had a strange relationship with Brian. Roberta is taking away Brian’s individuality. She’s saying “I know you will always love me too”. That’s quite an assertion.
I think the lawsuit is interesting. Bertelino made those statements on behalf of the Laundries when he should have just said “No comment”. The public and media were already making a lot of assumptions about Brian and his parents. They should have just used their right to remain silent and as an attorney you’d have thought Bertolino would have done that. It reminds of that attorney who represented Brian Kohberger when he was arrested in Pennsylvania. That attorney couldn’t stop making statements that for weeks after he no longer represented Kohberger. Sometimes attorneys who aren’t used to being involved in high profile cases can be overwhelmed with the questions from media and say the wrong thing. I think that’s what happened here. Bertolino even included himself in the statement saying “our” instead of “their”.
Yes, it's a weird letter.
I am not sure how we can, right now, come to a conclusion about them being aware of what hat happened or not.
Are we also to believe she was expecting him to go on a space flight soon?
We will probably never know. Kind of hard to prove something like when a letter was written. Just a sad situation all around.
Honestly, I think she sent him into the reserve knowing that he wasn’t coming out alive.
I know a conspiracy theorist who tends to think that cases like this are created to estrange men and women from each other. I mean, it did not happen. And since these things are written by people who have no first hand experience, there will be lots of outlandish and contrived details, actions and behaviors, which will help to drive in the idea that these people are strange.
There are quite many telltale signs of what I previously said. One is if the trial will be televised. One is that there are so many modeled pictures of Gabby. Those look like a professionally created media package, not a dude with issues taking pictures of his exceptionally pretty girlfriend. One is the outlandish premise of the trial. One is the set date, implying that there will be entire year's worth of material. The dude did not want to spend that much time on this, so they had to write his suicide into it. But the most glaring one is everyone constantly talking to the media.
Absolutely inspired, clear and concise appraisal of the “burn…” letter. I admire and respect your analysis immensely. Thank you for your thoughts. Really cleared a lot up for me. Outstanding. 🇬🇧
Always love your commentary with the occasional sarcastic remarks! “He wasn’t good at following directions” 😂😂😂
His mother sounds more like her sons lover not his mother 😮
Yep. Coo coo for cocoa puffs. Just like Chris Watts’s mother. Crazy moms make broken people.
For an extreme version of that, look at photos online of former supermodel Stephanie Seymour and her late son (since dead of drug overdose/suicide) Harry Brant. Take note of where her husband stands in the photos, if he's there at all.
She was probably so jealous of Gabby. That jealousy and resentment really shows when they repeatedly chose to call her "Ms. Pettito" in that public statement, rather than simply calling her Gabby. This was their son's future wife, and their future daughter in law. And she actually lived with them! But they called her "Ms. Pettito" as if she was some stranger they barely knew.
This letter is chilling. So much narcissism, disillusionment, victim blaming, and enablement. The apple did not fall far from the tree. #ripgabbypetito
Enabling? Yes! But where's the victim blaming?
I don't understand how the Laundries aren't considered accessories by hiding that they knew Brian ran after murdering Gabby.
He stole her credit card and her van too.. Protecting the murderer and not the victims of such a crime is unconscionable .. Change these outdated and ignorant laws.
@@susand7202 His parents have encouraged that type of behaviour. Why wouldn't he commit murder?
I think he would avoid saying to his parents that he murdered Gabby. She "disappeared leaving him, he couldn't find her". Thus by avoiding full confession they could avoid calling the cops. So having been around narcissists they lie and use euphemisms making them feel free of obligations. It's sick, and allows the fantasy tone if her letter. And to not stop him heading off to the swamp because they can tell themselves he needs time alone. Vs omg he's going to kill himself. Living in a fantasy world is sad.
THEY SHOULD BE!!!!
@@joywebster2678 but then theres the lawyering up n not speaking to Gabby's parents,so... that throws that one outta the water!
Lord..that did not sound like motherly love to me , that sounded like insane obsession😵💫😵
I was just talking to my dad about this letter; so great to get this take. I'm an only daughter and my dad and I have always been close while my mom and I have always had a very volatile relationship - we know deep down we love each other, but we just can't get along and my poor dad has often had to referee between us when I was growing up. That said, this letter struck me as just SO ODDLY worded that I shared it with my dad - he agreed that it was extreme, strange and uncomfortable. We also noted that there being no mention of Brian's father a little bizzare - my dad or mom would more than often say "we love you" or "we feel so and so way" or "your mom/dad and I something something"... the fact it's so exclusively, absolutely her and her son gives off very weird vibes (esp since they're not divorced or separated as far as we know). Just a thought... if this was written before the murder, I wonder if the "look at someone's actions not words [to know if they really love you]" was a jab at Gabby. Brian's mom seems like the definition of monster-in-law; the ones we all read about on Reddit who wears white to the wedding to upstage the bride, who has a key to the couple's house and barges in and interjects herself and had no sense of boundaries and everything is a competition with the bride/daughter-in-law over her "baby boy". 😒
Finally, yes, I agree that this lawsuit might be "technically" frivolous, but one really has to feel for the Petito's (and Gabby!) - the Laundries NOT saying anything/helping bought Brian time to run, which gave him the opportunity to take the easy way out (and spin his silly fictional narrative to try and get the last word in that notebook). The Petitos were robbed of their days in court and chance at something that feels like justice.
I agree, this whole time Brian's father was never mentioned. Even during the time Gabby was missing Roberta seemed to be the one driving the situation. Brian's father and sister are no where in the picture, just Roberta and Brian. Sounds incestuous.
Very thoughtful response! Lots of people here really find that family very weird and also the narcissism is evident! I wonder if Brian & his fathers relationship was strained so he got too close to his mother and took on her narcissism? We always say there’s no perfect families but geez 🙄😫 this is extreme! Monsters lacking empathy are dangerous!
Not to mention the days and weeks when they didn't know if she was alive or dead. That has to be pure hell.
Why would they rat on their own son? His parents are from New York so they did what Italians do and that’s “go to the mattresses”
@@Gramatic69 I would think someone would have some feeling for a person engaged to your child, who had been living with you and would very probably be the mother to your future grandchildren. While still unfathomable for most of us, I'd wager it is still (slightly) more understandable for some parents to be stubbornly, willfully blind to the fact their child committed a crime (i.e. Lori Daybell's mom and sister in denial before the bodies of the kids were found) versus a parent who knows their child committed atrocities and tries to aid and abet them (i.e. Aiden Fucci's mother washing his bloody clothes after he murdered Tristyn Bailey). Also, also... the Laundrie last name is a French adaptation of a Germanic name that has Greek origins... not sure where the Italian thing is coming from. Petito is an actual unaltered Italian family name. This is also the 2020's, not the 1920's. 🕵🏻♀
I think winning a civil case is the only justice they could ever hope for. There’s no other way for them to punish the Laundrie family for their transgressions.
Exactly. Win or lose, they deserve to be dragged through the mud a little bit.
Yeah that's because "the laundrie family" didn't kill her, one person, Brian laundrie was the one who killed her.
@@fighterflight I think many would agree with you!
Thanks for analyzing this. I’ve seen so many clickbait type videos 😢 & appreciate your professional breakdown.
I’m not a trained professional, but I am a mother of sons. I knew there was a point that I had to except they were MEN and no longer “my boy (s).”
Roberta’s handwriting appears to be that of an elementary age child…not the handwriting of a mature adult. It does matter. There are many clues in here of a controlling mother who was not prepared to give her “boy” to another woman. I can’t speak to the lawsuit but I can tell you Roberta saw Gabby as “something” dividing her and her “boy.” Roberta hated Gaby and I’m sure was happy with her death. A sick mother cannot produce anything other than a narcissistic, sick son and maybe even a murderer.
Yes!!! Her handwriting is childish.
“Lunar mission gut swapping.” -lol! Dr. Grande, outstanding as always. Keen analysis and clever wit. Your dry and wry quips make you (for me) a real life Quincy (Jack Klugman) or Columbo (Peter Falk). You’d be a welcome to that Mystery Series. And fortunately for us bring your unique bridge of reporting and story telling in a hybrid Sherlock Holmes/Steven Martin manner. Are you a modern day Conan Doyle in the making, sir? Only time will tell I suppose. Bud I love what you do and am grateful for you. What you do is much needed and your work and output is both impressive and inspiring. I thank you and wish you continued success. Bravo 👏
“Watch people’s actions to know if they love you.” Great advice. For Gabby. That family NEVER loved her. I hope they’re tormented for the rest of their lives.
It always cracks me up when people say this. You fail, hugely, to understand the psychology behind these people's actions. If you are capable of ignoring (for WEEKS) the desperate pleas of your son's girlfriend's parents as to her whereabouts, what on earth makes you think people like this would be "tormented" by anything? They're upset THEIR kid is dead, they OBVIOUSLY COULDN'T CARE LESS about Gabby or HER family!
@@krazyk8592 maybe
Unconditional love doesn't mean covering for the kids' crimes. NO way. That woman is guilty as hell and I do think the Petitos do have a case. I hope the Launderies pay. A loving mother would have written: come back and I'll be with you all the way. If you need to go to jail, I'll visit you all the days they allow me to and write to you tons of letters; if you need to dispose of a body I'd ask you to confess your crime instead and I'll walk with you through hell and back again. Something like that. That woman's letter was not a declaration of unconditional love. That was a letter written to a criminal son by his no less criminal mother. She's crazy not loving. She deserve jail.
Well said ❤
love for an adult child can be conditional imo, and this is exactly what unconditional love is.. loving regardless of their behavior
@@reneegardner2286 No, unconditional love would be his parents loving him and supporting him, but also holding him accountable for his actions. This letter is wrong on so many levels. I hope the laundrie's burn in hell. They are cowards.
@@picolascage5270 yeah holding him accountable for MURDER. that's where the love stops imo
The letter made no mention of an extended road trip. She didn't wish him safe travel and express hope that he and Gabby would have new and exciting experiences. She didn't make an offer to provide him a plane ticket home if things didn't work out for him on the trip. Gabby was paying for this trip and they knew that Brian was the weaker, emotionally and financially ,of the two. This was written after he returned but possibly before he confessed to his mother. I am, however, sure that his parents knew Gabby was dead the moment he returned in the van without her.
Brian always knew he could do anything and he would be supported by his parents. He could even kiįl someone and his mom would never abandon him, and she would even cover it up. Even after Brian’s death she protects his ego by writing his letter for him. 😢 Gabby deserved so much better.
Dr. Grande, it is such a pleasure to hear your analysis of each point in the case, given with logic, intelligence and impartiality! (not to mention your straight faced funny stuff…😄)
Dr. Grande has the jokes.
I totally agree on all points. I don't blame Gabby's parents, though, for lashing out with the lawsuit; Brian's patents treated them miserably.
Gaby Petito is one of these persons with a special beautiful light on her face. It breaks my heart that such a beautiful person is gone in such an unfair way.
Missing White Woman syndrome is strong with you
Heartbreaking. I couldn't function if I was Gabby's father, knowing Brian's parents knew what her son did, but didn't say anything. Seems like if you know someone killed somebody, but you don't report it, it's obstruction of justice.
The thing is, they didn’t know. He didn’t tell them. The DA would have charged them as accessories if he had.
Not if you are the parent.
@@Gramatic69 the DA would need solid proof to go through with the charges. Unless there was a handwritten letter from Brian left under his mother's pillow saying he did it then there is no solid proof that will stand at a trial
Then why did they hire an attorney if they didn’t know he had done something?
Brian shows up-alone-in HER van. That didn’t raise a red flag to them?
He had to have told them something for them to hire a lawyer. Not buying it that they didn’t know. They knew something. And not sharing ANY information to Gabby’s parents was beyond cruel. My daughter is the same as Gabby was. I can’t begin to imagine the hell her parents went through, especially knowing that his family knew something and would say nothing.
@@dustysgirl1434 I;m guessing he couldn't hide his guilt, and his face told them something was wrong.
Who writes such a letter to her son? This is beyond weird and sickening after what we all know.
No matter what, these parents used extreme, cruel and unusual treatment to Gabby’s parents.
fr i hope they get sued for causing emotional distress
I do not know how the Laundrie's were not arrested on criminal charges for obstruction and probably helping their son run.
They are parents. Every parent has got to in some way wonder and fear this situation and so a lot of comiseration is generated here. They did the wrong thing for a reason many can understand.
Florida...
I love my daughter deeply and I would never stop loving her no matter what, but that does not mean that I would help her get away with murder!
The bird and the word remember immediately made me think of Edgar Allen Poe's poem The Raven about a lost loved one. It's bizarre to say the least especially given the circumstances surrounding it.
Very good observation about the bird and Edgar Allan Poe!
My same thought... Like.. he did that kinda drawing... so I thought at 1st a letter FROM him... so now she ,as an adult, did it also???? I mean... Just sayin'... what the hail!
Such a great video you put together, Dr. Grande! Thank you for your well delivered update on this case! ♡♡
By far the best and most intelligent analasys I came across. Seems impossible to me anyone can do a better job.
Well the Laundries are clearly insane people.
Yes!
100% AGREE
What cruel and malicious people. Disgusting
It's actually pretty standard behaviour for happy clappers.
@Michelle I agree!
@@johnstory2996 Jews are even worse
@@johnstory2996 I don't know what that means....happy clappers
@@GigiRulesTheRoost Google it. It's not obscure.
Important note- the crux of the lawsuit is not that the laundries stayed silent. This would not be actionable, and the judge stated that if this were the case, it would’ve been dismissed. The issue was that they waived their 5th amendment rights upon issuing a statement through their attorney. They had every right to stay silent, and they chose not to.
This! They’re not suing simply because the Laundries exercised their 5th amendment rights.
Yep. Their attorney should've just said No Comment and that's all.
@@elliebellie7816 Staying completely silent might have served the Laundries, but not their attorney, who gained name and face recognition as a lawyer out of this circus of "actively saying nothing."
Imo it’s still frivolous. Gabbys family can hate their guts but they are under no obligation to admit to Brian’s crime. Saying they hope she’s found isn’t necessarily countering them knowing about the crime. They could have still hoped, one day that Gabbie was found and Brain could get off some how.
@@Blake1720 There's still 18 USC Section 4 under which the Laundries could be fined or jailed for three years by a federal court for Misprision of a Felony. This has been interpreted to refer to active concealment of a known felony. The statute applies to "whoever," not just public officials.
This is a special kind of sad and crazy. Thanks for your analysis as always. Love the channel
Just to be clear, they did NOT have the right to remain silent. That right is reserved for self-incrimination, they had the legal obligation to report the crime, as it was committed by another.
Oh, boy! I've not watched yet, but I've binged several of your videos today and am excited to see this! Can't wait to hear your perspective on this nightmare. Mixed with your humor and the professional thoughts and theories, it's always a delight to see your uploads!!
Always 😊
This guy's a fool.
Delight yes! But also and maybe even better an education and basis for thought.
I think the purpose of this lawsuit was to get this letter out into the public. Gabby’s parents cannot be made whole after she is gone, so they wanted the world to know what they believe Brian’s parents did to them. I am sure the Laundries lawyer advised them not to speak to Gabby’s parents, but it’s a rather cruel thing to do; blocking them while Gabby is still missing.
ya cuz the qusetion would be asked... What did brian tell you.....?
Brian never paid for his crime, but his parents are partially responsible.
@@eucliduschaumeau8813 for the crime? No, they are not.
Many are speculating if the letter was written before the trip or after the son came home alone. I think it may have been written in between when the son came home to clear a locker and then returned out west. I think the son may have disclosed his state of mind to his mother at that time and his mother wrote the letter to show that she would support him no matter what.
I think you’re right on because the letter was written in the present tense.
Yes, I agree! Like she was reaching out, knowing something was wrong. He probably made comments here or there and she's guessing.
That seems quite possible. Still a creepy letter though as it sounds more like it is coming from a lover than a mother.
yikes
In addition to this letter, Brian wrote in his fiction filled suicide letter for people not to blame his parents. I think perhaps he knew that there could be an issue BECAUSE HE TOLD THEM HE MURDERED HER. These parents acted guilty from the beginning. I would not have gotten an attorney like they did. I would have actively searched for Gabby (they didn’t because they knew she was dead). I hope that the jury finds the Laundrie family guilty and I hope the Petito family get a nice big civil judgement
This was the most heart breaking situation. I feel for Gabby's family. As nurse and someone who has gone through abuse several times, this is all I can say.
@@mandywarski2414 jeez . Last 6 words.
@@mandywarski2414 I experienced abuse in my first marriage and didn't realize he was an abuser. The Narcissistic Fog of trying to please him had me trapped. I saw more women go through what I had and where I worked taught us how to spot abuse among all couples.
"Nothing ....can separate our love" - creepy phrasing for a parent to use, sounds like the words of a lover.
I’m surprised to hear more about this case, but considering how his parents are pieces of work it’s not too difficult to see why. Thanks for your thoughts Dr. Grande, keep up the great work and have a great rest of your weekend. Take care!
At the end he condoned the parents behaviour. How dumb is that?
@@sophiarevel6952 Hooked me! Ya... What DO I think of that? I gotta coupla cents worth!!!!!
This IS my first time having analyzed the letter. I appreciate ALL of your input & (mature) thoughts. Your reminder of Love being action & legal lines really helped me compartmentalize my feelings. I, too, have 1 son. Grateful📃
I cannot think of a single scenario where a letter with those words would be appropriate, positive or good parenting!! Nobody loves their child more than I, occasionally to the point of indulgence. And I would NEVER have said those things... I didn't see any expression of real love & support, instead it was a twisted, distorted & dysfunctional attempt at extreme manipulation. As a mother she gave him a license to do ANYTHING?! With no mention of forgiveness or ramifications or emotional support. I thought I'd identify with this woman's love for her son but I didn't find a morsal of similarity. I don't blame her for what he did, but I do think she's a terrible parent.
The problem is that they put out a statement through their lawyer so they didn’t actually stay silent, at that point they were intentionally omitting the truth, not staying silent
That is a good point.
Did you miss the part the letter was undated? Can't prove anything with it beyond it was odd. Doesn't look like a woman's writing to me either or how a Mom would talk.
@@zenawarrior7442 she clearly is referring to the statement about the search party for Gaby they put out, wishing the search to be successful
@@DinastiaJonas Oh yeah sure. That was really clear, obviously. The assumptions people have in this case blow my mind, believe the media crap. If she meant that had zero to do with admitting anything.
so essentially the same as being silent
I feel like the letter written by the lawyer was trying to circumvent their knowledge if Gabby's death. Saying "hope she is reunited with her parents" slyly conveys that she would be healthy. But, it was actually stating in subtext "hope her body is found and returned to the possession of her parents".
Withholding what she knew might have been legally ok but i think was morally abhorrent.
His mother clearly stated in the letter that she is willing to become an accomplice to help son's crime. This isn't love, it's her weakness.
This is much better. Good analysis. Thanks Dr. Grande.
There's always a leadup to things like this. People ignore the small dangers up until it's too late
It’s because people never think really bad things can or will happen to them. That stuff happens to other people. Other people get killed by their boyfriends. Other people get abducted. The sad reality is it can happen to anyone. Always keep your eyes open!
Great analysis. But Im shocked, that the Laundries may not be criminally charged. In case they knew from Brian that he killed Gabbi when he returned, and then made the statement they hoped Gabbi would be found, couldnt they be dome for wasting police time and resources for the search and accessory to the crime? Same with finding Brians body: They knew where he was when he allegedly killed himself, yet let the police search operation go on for weeks, which cost the taxpayer money.
@@ryecatcher25 No, the Laundries shouldnt get away with covering up the murder. Plus the money, if the loose, will go towards the Gabby Petito foundation.
How are they not being charged as accessories after the fact or something, for having knowledge of a murder and not only not coming forward but covering for the murderer?
You have such a calm, relaxing voice even though murder is anything but a calm and relaxing topic.