Crestie Rina Blakely I definitely have that, lol. I would rather be consistently melancholic than to be happy for a short period of time and be bogged down by something horrible. But I am just bad at being a human being in general. I don't want others to get hurt because of my shittiness.
bananian nah, man. I don't think you're a bad human being. We keep away to protect people and also ourselves. It's lonely, yeah. Definitely.. But it's noble. Think of it this way--a person infected with an incurable, high transmittable disease isolates himself for the benefit of many. Lonely, yet noble. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just know that you're not alone in this. I know the feel.
When I feel irritable and I'm not communicating it, because I don't always know how to handle my thoughts. I lash out with a quick snappy comment, I always feel the grief right after which leaves me apologizing a lot. Or even I find my coping mechanism is to retreat, and separate myself from others.
Yeah that's a bad habit I have too. I always feel people are talking down to me, so that's the need to make smart comments, but then the other person is just annoyed. Only one person has told me, "I love your sarcasm" and I don't want that person to love anything about me.
Alexis Hampton I started acting, at school I pretend, and even when I'm with myself, but there's time(for example now) I realize that I'm not myself, but then I think back that I have took this so far that I can't go back, so I might as well keep going
Alexis Hampton I feel the same way. I stay away from people because I fear if they know the true me they won't like me and leave. I do have mood swings and sometimes they can be very intense. So I don't even try anymore
as a person with bpd I tend to detach myself from people when I feel abandoned to make sure I don't get a continuous feeling of abandonment which can be very damaging
My girlfriend told me she was diagnosed with BPD a year ago, and she fits all the criteria of the quiet borderline. She directs everything to herself. Now, she at least tells me when she's sad and I can be there for her, but she does tend to push away when she's feeling that way. She thinks she's annoying or that she doesn't deserve the attention. She's one of the most gorgeous girls I have ever saw and I feel incredibly lucky to be with her. But she literally thinks she's "gross" and she is in NO way gross! She is also a twin and her twin seems to be treated by their parent's as if she's perfect and my girlfriend does everything wrong. She's still in the closet, because her parents are very religious, so that's putting a lot of stress on her too. I honestly.....don't see myself ever letting her go. I tell her how much I care for her and how beautiful she is everyday. She might not believe it herself...but she believes me when I say I think so and that is already such a big step for her. Doing as much research on the quiet borderline just so I can be better prepared for her. I do alright already but it can be very stressful. One big step though that she has made, she has not cut or hurt herself since we got together. She comes to me when she feels that now...which I'm so grateful for. I want to take care of her and love her forever and the way she actually deserves. She...is honestly such an amazing person, and I hope one day she can believe it herself.
Your comment brought tears to my eyes I think you have such a kind heart to actually stand by her instead of running away once you find out her diagnosis or when things become difficult your actions show how much you care and how much you truly love this woman. Your willing to help her get through this and you support her which is so very important. Those are things we all desperately need and deserve yet rarely find. I'm so proud to know that there are good people out there that actually have a heart. You have a beautiful soul and she is so lucky to have you. I truly wish you both the best and you're in my prayers.
I have the same diagnosis as your girlfriend has and let me tell you you are an absolute angel. She is so lucky to of found someone like you because we tend to feel like there is no one out there for us, and that if there is we will push them away eventually. But being there for her is so important and I’m glad to hear someone like me found someone as caring as you 💕
You are awesome! Thank you for being with her and standing by her. Though there may be times that a rough for you, you are so strong and give her the stable love she so needs. And with your help, I do believe she will make so much improvement! Remission is in the horizon!
This is so sweet and made me cry... I'm newly diagnosed with BPD and I'm terrified to tell my boyfriend in fear that he will leave me. He had a really awful BPD ex in the past and he hates her. She wasn't a quiet BPD like me, but I still worry. I really hope he responds like you have
+Kati Morton Kati I need your help! I love this song called Pumped Up Kicks by Foster The People & I found this comment about Columbine & I searched it up & the shooters seemed to experience the same type of emotions I feel & I feel bad for them because of the emotions them & I experience well emotions they experienced cuz they are dead. And now when I cry I think of them & what I have been through. Kati how can I get away from comparing myself to them? Thanx
+Kati Morton Also Kati I think I'm traumatized by it because it's always in my head & also when I'm public it seems I am more cautious of my surroundings. Also when I go to school I look all around me & I feel like I'm gonna get a small panic attack and since we had to return our textbooks to the library I just kept looking around & the library scene just kept haunting me & I literally had to check under the desk! Columbine I'm pretty sure that you know about it was a school shooting...
+Kati Morton you're really sweet. I like your videos. I don't think I have these issues myself but I like learning. what I do have is health anxiety or hypochondria... I have a very hard time with it. I haven't found a video of you touching on that "disorder", if that's the correct term to describe it. hugs from Buenos Aires, Argentina!
This is a sincere request for help! Most with BPD become chameleons, that is, they become whoever they must be to fit any circumstance, as a result the true inner person is supressed. This suppression of that inner person has gone on for years, most likely an entire lifetime. It has reached the point where I no longer know who that person is, or ever was. How do I reconnect with that true self? I do not feel as if I have a true personality. I have become an actor on stage 24/7. I was diagnosed with BPD over 20 years ago but have lived in denial. I have tried to hide BPD but now realize after watching Kati’s videos I am what she calls a Quite BPD. I am now trying to address this condition but don’t know where to go from here.
I feel the exact same way. I am 25, but I know I have BPD and I am also feeling like an actor 24/7... it really sucks... but it feels like a survival mechanism.. albeit not the best/ most sustainable or healthy
Hello Katherin DeBinski thank you for contacting me. Recently I spoke with someone taking the same DBT course as I and we talked about the idea of not being in touch with the true inner self. Her comment was that that true person is still their just very difficult to recognize. We get flashes of that person when an unfiltered option pops to the surface. For example you may feel and express disgust at the unjust treatment of others. That is your true inner self coming out. You are a good person deep inside who longs for justice in this world. True that person is very well buried and living as an actor “really sucks” but if you get these surprise flashes of your inner self you can at least realize that you are still in their somewhere. We struggle in ways those around us do not realize or understand and at times I wonder if the struggle is worth the effort but I am still here trying and for now I guess that is enough. Regards Roy
Roy Tufts you literally explained how I am! like I can be whoever someone wants me to be, especially like social cues and proper behavior. but when I'm alone with myself I'm a monster with my emotions. my therapist told me I was ready to get out of therapy but I knew I wasn't. that's because I know logic but my emotions override them most of the time.
isolation is the worst. i’ve “disappeared” for months at a time. my friends who have managed to stick around know that when i don’t respond or reach out for a while that i’m just goin through it. i’ve lost so many friends over my need to isolate
+Soul Sister especially because i rarely speak my problems to others and its hard to say it, it hurts when all that effort is just replied with a simple, "no you're fine" probably just going to keep these problems in my head
don't give up! a psychiatrist just finally acknowledged my borderline symptoms and there's some progress now. it took a while but its worth it so keep fighting for the right diagnosis!!
Sometimes narcissistic abuse can cause borderline tendencies. There's a funny saying that sometimes can ring true, "If you think you're crazy, make sure you're not surrounded by assholes."
@@cloudrot4955 I and millions of other human beings have PTSD from narcissistic abuse. If you don't like clinical terms simply refrain from using them.
@@cloudrot4955 sorry but my mom is a narcissist and she has emotionally abused me since I was a day old. I think I have a right to call it narcissistic abuse
I ended up with a narcissist.. (11 years).. eye roll. I probably had been getting better but that and the pandemic just threw everything into a tailspin...
13 years of sociopath abuse drunk stepdad. 32 years of Narcissist abuse from mom very draining like a mosquito and many flying monkeys that are manulators pretty evil people. Gaslighter boyfriends. People cheating all the time. I think at one point there were two Narcissist. On top of that Satan attackz and his flying monkeys just never ends.
Yep it gets better! I was diagnosed with bpd at 19. I was in a&e on the daily, things were dreadful. Fast forward 10 years, now at 29 I work in the mental health sector, I'm a manager. I have been in a relationship for 8 years. I like myself. It gets better! If only I knew 10 years ago. But hey, it shaped me into who I am now. Bpd is definitely not life long, I am living proof. Love xxxx
I actually expressed to my therapist about how I'm almost certain I have BPD... and she pretty much totally disregarded it, because I don't clearly show it in our sessions. I've been seeing her for three months, and yeah I'm a very timid person, especially when it comes to strangers... but it made me angry how invalidated she made me feel and how clearly she shows bias when it comes to BPD. It's frustrating.
Aethereal maybe make a list of some points that might not have come up, things you forget to mention in session, things that she wouldn't be able to glean just from sitting in a room with her. For example, any impulsive behaviours, relationship issues, reactions in everyday life etc
It helps to take a person who knows and see everything for a long period of time to clarify especially since people with bpd will just lie and mirror the therapist without even knowing they are bc it's so enmeshed so well for so long to not say or show the real side of you only few close people might see also each different person will see the different side and get different story for each of them on the same subject which is usually mostly lies and manipulation to not get shamed or to gain control over the situation of different events. Really crazy making stories that never align with each other ever . Really easy for others to see it if the are really long term friend or family made aware of the disorder is like a bomb going off in their heads of OMG that finally makes so much sense and be undeniable. And it was just like that for me with my wife of 20 yrs together all most loosing my mind with all of the crazy minimizing stories that never fit every with catching in lies then she say how sorry she was and never lie ever again and is finally telling the truth to only days later say she lied again bc she had no choice and I wouldn't want her if I knew the truth when that's all I reassured her I needed was the truth and nothing else so after 5 different times of the same patterns within a year I realize it was the same exact patterns of other things in the past were exact same excuse and lies blaming me with the exact opposite of what I asked for bc I wouldn't want her and I don't lover her desire her and just always shame her . When I literally say the opposite things to reassure her that she is not those things right before she would not believe me and say I literally said the opposite to her and storm off and give silent treatment bc she really told herself I said things to her that she said she thought about herself. Crazy making gaslighting nonsense over and over . Like I said undeniable once you learn the true traits and actions of someone with any type of bdp. And of course her therapist doesn't see it and say it's bipolar bc she hasn't seen it day in and out for 20yrs.
yep. literally just dealt with the same thing. because I am not a "classic" she was like you don't have it. she also didn't even really know about it and had to look up the diagnosis for it. so clearly she hasn't seen it in its broad spectrum of forms. it is frustrating being invalidated like that especially because she knows that I feel invalidated by my parents for my emotions.
A friend of mine has a partner with BPD. She's come really far and they have a child together now. I really love them both - very creative and unique people. The word 'borderline' for some reason has become quite scary. That label can veil a person who is suffering from a lot of pain. I really admire the way she has dealt with it all.
When people have hurt you, it can become difficult to separate yourself from that hurt (not to engage in self-blame/inadequacy). Dwelling on these thoughts, in turn, can cause self-hatred for some. Self-hatred affects your relationships and ultimately the ability to emotionally regulate within these relationships... feeling you are not good enough, clinging onto people for self-affirmation, love, acceptance, happiness, guidance (everything that you are not able to internally be/feel). When you need people to give you these basics that should have been established, it can be catastrophic when they hurt you, or leave. Your world is crumbling, you are alone, and you have no meaning; weightless, and invisible. Sometimes there is external anger, and/or internal anger.. punishment because you caused this, confusion because you hate them and love them; you hate yourself. And then you realize that you have worth and meaning, and people may leave, and people will hurt you, and maybe you are alone, but it will be OK. You are OK with who you are, and have found the acceptance in the shortcomings of people and the shortcomings of who you are. And everyday it gets a little easier to be in your own skin.
My mom refuses to accept my BPD diagnosis. It's been years now since I got it. Every time I mention it she says I don't have it and she doesn't believe that's what I have. It drives me insane. Especially bc I feel I'm more on the quiet end. Maybe that's why she completely invalidates me...
I suspect I have the same illness because I'm normal most of the time but can become self-destructive or attention seeking when I get involved in any conflicts.
fevermoon I understand your frustration. I just got the results of my evaluation about a week ago and my mom just did not want to hear it! I'm just trying to remember that the most important thing is that I understand what's going on because ultimately I can only help myself.
I wish I could show people how I was as to what I am now. I didnt believe it would ever get better. But with actually taking responsibillity for my emotions, finding stability, and a while range of things. I feel like I am now a proper person.
As a person with diagnosed with quiet BPD I'm so happy you addressed it. A lot of people aren't aware it exists, everything is internalized, instead of being expressed externally. My lashing out is internalized towards myself, 98% of my splitting is on myself. What I view as me being aggressive or angry is not perceived that way to the other person like you said. Thank you again for addressing quiet bpd, it makes me happy that its getting acknowledged.
My cousin is completely cured of borderline personality disorder! She is in her 30s, has a husband, a well paying job, and a plethora of degrees! There is hope. YOU WILL MAKE IT! I might have borderline, myself. My psychologist and psychiatrist are debating it because it took me a while to 1. Open up 2. Sober up 3. Really be aware of my behaviors. DBT is not only a godsend for Borderlines but also people with ptsd, which I am currently diagnosed with, as well as bipolar and panic disorder. I am a binge eater, and a recovering addict alcoholic. I started therapy a year ago and I’m already changing. I also am part of AA and NA and I’m going to start going to OA to tackle my eating disorder. I think the most important part of handling mental illness is being as open as possible to help!!! Much love guys, I believe in you!
I was in a psychology class and the textbook said that people with BPD often die alone. The end of this video helped me a lot. Like maybe I won't be alone forever...
I'm not saying I have BPD but wow this seriously describes me, except that you know that part where you say they keep their anger in? well I do but, it just kind of builds up in there and then one day when I can't hold it in anymore I lash out, and in that moment I lose all control and everything I do is impulsive.
I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and I definitely can be a “quiet” borderline or a “normal” borderline. Like I do lash out and stuff but that’s only with a few people (literally just my mom and therapist more recently) but generally I just push people away and distance myself from them. I block them out when I have really hectic low episodes.
I was diagnosed with BPD when I was around 8. I suffered from extreme abuse as a child for 13 years until I watched my abuser die in front of me from a drug overdose. Thank you for this video! When people see my self harm scars they either are afraid of me or want to fix me. They see a disease instead of a person!
I think I have quiet bpd but my mum thinks I'm just making up things, but when I'm with people I'm happy but a few hours later a certain subject like a trigger makes me upset so I go to my room and get really upset and I feel worthless and I feel like if I died who would actually care and I feel like I'm never going to achieve something with my life and then when calm down an hour or two later then i am fine and gradually I forget about my worries and feel a lot better then at night I feel like shit again and cry myself to sleep then I wake up and I feel fine but no one would believe that I suffer from a mental illness because as you say I'm 'anger in' and I don't express my sadness as I'm alone in my room and then when I'm with people I'm fine
I’m a quiet borderline and anyone struggling let me give you my humble advice. You are not your thoughts, you are you. It’s isn’t about what you think of feel it’s about what you do with those thoughts and feelings.
This is my first year with my BPD diagnosis, and these videos have been a lifesaver for me. I often am kept up at night with worry that ill never be able to manage how intensely i feel all the time, or how i always end up deeply hating the people i deeply love. I pop on a kati morton BPD video and by the end my worries are gone. There's something about her language and tone that is so reassuring. Thank you, Kati
It depends on how you see it. Now you know what to google if you want resources on how to deal. Also, I think that people that believe a disorder is forever are full of bs. It might be a long time, but it's not necessarily forever!! Don't be ashamed to take your time, find different techniques that people tried, and literally try each one 30 times. Believe me when I say that some of them don't work until you've done it at least a dozen times. I think it's partially because the feels are so much that you can't *tell* when things are improving a tiny bit. Also prayer is huge for me.
Pseudo Dionysius many people diagnosed with BPD actually have complex ptsd and the reason they are misdiagnosed is because of the similarities. BPD you could say is a lot worse than CPTSD or harder to recover from. Also, these things are categorized as neuroses and not psychoses - which means they are subconscious, emotional based problems which can be solved through subconscious mind therapy. I went through the nightmare of thinking I had BPD (even though I had no fear of abandonment and a couple of others) and I'm glad I found out about complex ptsd - and just that face that many of these "disorders" are really labels put on neurotic, emotional behaviour resulting from a screwy upbringing
I'm crying right now because of the last part you told us. Thank you SO MUCH for that!! Whenever I read about my borderline syndrome on the internet or in books or magazines EVERYWHERE they're saying people with BS could never have a good functional relationship or even keep a good friendship. I really thought it would be better to stay alone until the end of my life so nobody gets hurt. I felt like the lonliest person on earth, and now I saw your video and I can't stop crying because you gave me back some hope. Again, thank you sooooo much!!!! :')
I just want you to know that the end of this video made me cry. I thought I was maybe bipolar or that I was depressed, anxious, and also just a bad person. I've realized that I hit every single criteria for qbpd, it's like reading about myself exactly. It's honestly a relief being able to put a name to the shadow hanging over me. But you stating that this can go away or at least get better with help gave me real hope. Its been debilitating thinking that I will always be this way and I'd never be able to be normal or have a happy life. The possibility of not always being the way I am makes me actually want to try. So thank you for that.
my gf said she was diagnosed as bipolar years ago. There's no damn way she is. BPD, however, seems spot on. There is a clear multiple personality thing going on, but I've concluded it's just different versions of her manifesting according to her mood. I tell her I love all her versions. Some of them are horrible, but we all have horrible sides. Versions of her are all her. Even if I could change the channel for a better version, this would be ignoring who she is. I'm no angel and trying my best to not unleash hellfire. She makes that difficult, but I've seen the pure love also manifest all at once in those versions. It's a love so pure and real....in that moment.
I've just recently realized this is called BPD and I tell you from all my heart who are reading this comment and have BPD, I realize how much I'm healed from that since 5 years ago. I really didn't know its called BPD until now. I just figured out before few hours than now. Don't let anyone tell you its impossible to heal from. The fact is, its hard when you don't know what's going on. Even then, its not THAT MUCH hard. You CAN have peace within and be stable.
I was recently diagnosed with bipolar+ cluster B personality disorder+ PTSD(due to long-term domestic violence since childhood), and I have been watching a lot of your videos. I think I fall under the quiet type, internalizing my anger and rather blaming myself than lashing out to others. This video helps me regain my courage and confidence a lot. Your videos provide not only education, but above all, comfort and hope! Thank you for all the effort you pour into your videos, I feel much less alone and finally understood. Thank you.
I thought I had severe depression, but now everything makes sense. I am a quiet borderline, what do I do now? I have absolutely no friends cause I push everyone away. I can't work cause I feel awful around people. I always rum away from all jobs interviews and it's embarassing. I've never dated anyone cause well, why would anyone Love me? I'm disgusting. When I don't get enough attention, I can say very mean things and hurt people. I've been isolated for years and really depressed. I haven't left my house in months and I feel terible when I go out. I feel inferior to women around me, and when I see friends having fun and going out, I can't understand how they do it. I've never felt happy, not even once in my life. I've tried suicide twice and plan on trying again soon, my psychologist will never diagnose me as a quiet borderline. She probably doesn't even know what this is. I'm desperate. It CAN NOT get better. I've been like this for 22 years and it only gets worse. My Life is ruined and my dreams will die with me.
Are you ok today? I'm so out of hope and every bridge I had is burned. All my bad choices are going to catch up any day and I'm terrified. So tired of existing this way.
I see the whole BFF thing and I Want it but at the same time I don't. I want someone who will love me because they choose to but I don't think I can ever have that because being that close to someone is scary. I started pushing away my friends and now that we don't really talk as much because they noticed me pushing them away I feel even worse. The only person I will never really push away is my mom. She doesn't know how I feel sometimes but I know she wouldn't judge me. I feel like I can't do anything right. I hope you've felt better and I hope maybe one day I'll start to feel better.
I see a dog in your avi. I bet she makes you feel better and vice versa. Just because it's been this way doesn't mean it needs to stay this way. I'm glad you reached out; it sucks you're sad. I hope you can hang out with your puppy and try to find one thing a day that makes you feel better.
This is exactly how my life has been for the last 18 years... I feel stuck , Its abosutely horrible. I'm sorry that you are experience this too, & know that I know exactly how you feel. I truely hope you find help or happinees & start living life❤
The last part when you said that half the people who got treatment after 10 years have gotten better made me cry. I've heard so many times I'm gonna have this for life so it was really nice to hear a positive outlook on such a horrible mental illness. Thank you for these videos they're great 💖💖
I'm so happy to hear someone say outloud how I feel having quiet borderline. Most ppl don't understand the intense feelings I have except my Drs. I'm bout to watch all your videos. I think u are great
I have thought for a long time I might have BPD but because I isolate myself and didn't show my hurt, upset or be overly friendly with people assumed I didn't. I just cried reading all the traits of quiet bpd and I have been getting worse the older i get. Now I have a place to start...
Thank you Katie, for humanizing people with BPD, and not framing us as just another case# with a diagnosis. Many people with BPD are very empathetic, creative, and are genuinely kind people, and we very much want to feel better about ourselves and our place in the world. People who have a personalty disorder or mental illness also have many aspects of mentally healthy aspects too. We are not a loss cause. Thank you for sharing some air and light.
I was diagnosed with BPD but this video explain more about it to me.. I do have Quiet Borderline Personailty Disorder. Thank you so much for explaining so much to me.
Thank you for stressing the BPDs can get better. I can’t tell you how many times I felt completely hopeless after watching a few other “psych” channels and then reading the comments. I felt like totally giving up on everything. But I know I have gotten better since I started DBT. And I’m so grateful for learning the skills I’m learning because I NEVER intended any harm to anyone...
For me I listen to music and it helped my depression and slows my suicidal thoughts..I have bpd and this group literally saved my life.. the Armyyyyyy is a great community..we are like family and many of us suffer from mental illness and so do members of BTS so we support one another.. here's you can enjoy and understand with English lyrics also better learn their faces and voices BTS Song Lyrics Playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLcvPWueInsU_PPwS6H8qKHkZhjWugU0JB If you are interested to know who they are..this is an introduction video of the members ruclips.net/video/xu0IfBvZMRs/видео.html To further get to know them here is a video portraying their hardships and struggle through the years because this group had been living together for 7 years and they started from the bottom and truly are humble hardworking and talented ruclips.net/video/sMkRmnkI8kE/видео.html Also if you want to know their personalities watch this show..subbed in English and Spanish Run BTS! SUB: ruclips.net/p/PLRhZCETh6UQjtz6em7Zar_4efHjIpvaZfttf BTS also are the first artists to speak on behalf of the youth about the love yourself and end violence campaign with UNICEF at the United Nations UN 👏 ruclips.net/video/2MfJAb27fbU/видео.html Also some of my favorite fanmade videos to see them in action.. ruclips.net/p/PLszJPJRuH-LzcEcscptVWsJ_qEIRXv51V music videos from them solo..they do it solo to show you the individual style..the whole rap line has mixtapes as well as Jungkook the youngest (21) does English covers..ALL BTS MUSIC VIDEOS HAVE ENGLISH SUBTITLES ((CC)) Taehyung song singularity ruclips.net/video/p8npDG2ulKQ/видео.html Jin's song Epiphany ruclips.net/video/fIkZOLsnoqY/видео.html Jimins song serendipity ruclips.net/video/BEMaH9Sm3lQ/видео.html Jungkook song euphoria ruclips.net/video/kX0vO4vlJuU/видео.html Other faves are : RM reflection (leader and rapper) ruclips.net/video/n24XPz7UZ7Q/видео.html Suga nevermind (rapper/producer) ruclips.net/video/9iOJWTdFBBU/видео.html Suga ft. Jungkook and jin (vocalists in BTS) so far away ruclips.net/video/U8LDe135K-A/видео.html Truth untold ruclips.net/video/tK4oNOE4V6s/видео.html They make great music and have so many genres within any given album you can go from A-Z 😎🎙️🎹🎸🎷😎 and they are always trying new things live performance stages from concerts (I update everyday since they're on tour right now so click for new performances) ruclips.net/p/PL3uk-QDJ_17pU7GIWo8NA5mWBkoNbpMxY Try their remixes and full version songs like this extended one of fake love with the Rock vibe mix..it's on the new album (Love Yourself Answer) also every BTS music videos have closed captioning for English speaking audience ruclips.net/video/D_6QmL6rExk/видео.html Love is not over youtu.be/6SYl
Thank you!!!!!!!! Everything you said was so right on. The last part when you say that BPD is not life-long was so imcredible to me though, I literally teared up. That is the first time that I have ever heard that BPD is not a life sentence, that it can not just get more managble, but that I can get control back, that lifted this massive weight off of me that has been there for years. I cannot thank you enough, please keep doing everything you are doing!!
My partner found you, to try help me and him deal with my bpd. At first I felt really attacked and it triggered me, because I honestly thought I was over it. After actually watching your videos, Ive realised that I fixed the issues that were direct to me and that I could identify. Unfortunately I didn't realise I was still going through, splits, and dissociation without even realising. I cry nearly everytime watching your videos, because Soo many people paint BPD as a controlling, bad disorder, but here you explain so much! Without any judgement! Its an eternal battle we go through daily, but it's good to know there is help and recovery is possible! The only thing all of us want is to feel happy, safe, supported and loved. Thank you so much your help ❤
So grateful to have found you. I’ve been asking for help for 39 years. I haven’t been able to find the right therapist. I’ve always been alone, but I cannot even connect with people anymore. I’m so scared. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I feel like I have to heal myself, but I really need a family, friends, or a partner.
So I have quiet borderline because I dont really have anger towards others but mainly towards myself, I was starting to doubt that I have bpd but I never knew there was a quiet borderline. Thanks for the tip, I kinda understand myself.
Another video idea: Adult children of BPD parents. What are the consequences of growing up with a BPD parent and also the adoption of certain BPD traits in case of a BPD parent being the only role model to children, even if the child itself does not have BPD themselves. - Stop Walking on Eggshells - P. Mason & R. Kreger - Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem - K. Roth.
My mom destroyed our family with BPD. I wish she would have had some help, but there was nothing available in the 1970s and 80s. Her deal was to blame us all for her shitty life, but then freaking panic when we cut her out for self preservation. This went on until she died at 80. So yeah...a vid would be nice.
Just bought the one about parents! Thank you for this. My mom is BPD... and I wonder if I have some traits as well. I’m struggling to be a good mom and not continue the cycle... it’s so difficult being a parent of young kids and knowing how to guide them appropriately
There's really only consequences of their behaviour gets worse and they don't get help if they are experiencing other things as a result like depression and even for some substance abuse to deal with the symptoms
Thank you. That kind of will to fight both stigma and the issues bpd creates in the day to day life is what I’d like to see in my therapist as well. You’re a good one, keep up the good work!
Thank you for this. I have bpd symptoms but I internalise my feelings rather than externalise. I binge eat and drink alcohol to cope but I'm scared of being rejected so I hide everything. Even stating my needs to some degree equals shame. I'd never threaten suicide or get violent with someone but that always seems to be part of the bpd criteria.
You just gave me the hope that i need to pull myself out of this dark cloud. Thank you Kati. I really love your videos and i hope this is not just an idealization thing
I love you. I say the same thing to my clients....you can get better...the diagnosis sounds worse than it is....I believe we can overcome everything....research proves that if we treat people as if they can not overcome And they are their diagnosis....the begin to believe they are and will not overcome. I’ve met clients whom utilize diagnosis as an excuse. It’s not an excuse. I’ve met clients with extreme autism and even really bad schizophrenia whom can overcome....kids when stunted intellectual disability whom couldn’t tie their shoes or function....learning to do so. If you treat people as if they are human and more than capable...with encouragement....they overcome. Much love, girl!
Wow.... I've been diagnosed with borderline for about 4 years but have never felt like it could be right because of the way I experience everything so internally instead of outwardly like I've often heard it described. Thanks for this! Kati- you always remind me that I'm not alone in this battle
I am a recovered borderline! I was a textbook example. But after years of therapy and getting out of a bad marriage and into a much better relationship, I no longer lash out, attempt suicide, self harm, or question my current fiancee's dedication to me! Yaaaaaay!!
does anybody find it disempowering that mental health professionals try and fit them in a box and don't recognise the uniqueness of everyones personal experiences?
It's hard because people with criteria of BPD don't have good boundaries for getting to know people, so there's a standard structure for intakes. The idea is to go from the structure, and develop an understanding based on it, not to have the client/patient fit themselves to the structure. But since we have challenging social boundaries, we immediately take the structure as an implication that we should be like it.
I find it empowering, especially battling for 30+ year's feeling like the local weirdo, I want to feel Unity, I want to feel mentally healthy and stronger as long as I Have the name and number of my bs I can keep track of it. I don't want to be unique if it hurts....
I love how natural and informative your videos are. I'm so tired of watching videos that keep jumping, because of the RUclipsr cutting out so many pieces of the video.
Never considered BPD until I cut myself on several occasions recently. I was under extreme stress from work. They acted like they wanted to fire me. Everyone was complaining about me. I got written up 7 times in the last three weeks. I was freaking out. I had all 9 bdd symptoms. They seem to have backed off of me now, I hope. Everyone realized i'm pretty fragile deep down inside. I care about my job so much, I give them my all. All they notice these days is the stuff I say. Iv'e said a lot.That gets me in trouble. The bad is almost outweighing all the good iv'e done at work. Besides all that, I can see the pervasive patterns patterns now throughout my life. Though I would consider myself to be a quiet one. Some BPD videos make you think you need to be a wild emotional sex maniac all the time with endless options of friend's to go hang out with and scream at. I wish I could do all that though. Instead i'm smoking pot, about to drink a strong beer and I might go visit my crazy upstairs neighbor. I should punch him in his ugly face. LOL!
You are my hero!!! This video is me and I can't find anyone to help me. I'm desparate to get better but I cycle through therapists just like cycle through sabotaging everything that is good in my life. The pattern is exhausting me. I need help and I'm only getting worse because nobody knows what to do with me. My impulsive decisions will land me on jail sooner than later. And because I can't stand the shame and horrific guilt I self medicate and that makes me worse. I'm drowning here. I don't have much hope but this made me feel understood, even if only for a few minutes and by a stranger with a zillion followers. I doubt you'll ever see this but in case you do, thank you.
I just started seeing a therapist and on my 3rd and most recent visit with them they suggested a borderline diagnosis. I'm not totally sure I agree with them and its been giving me tons of anxiety trying to analyze it. Quiet borderline could maybe be a possibility but I still dont know and i feel like i was left with soooo many questions. Thank you for reassuring that its okay for me to ask these questions and to really investigate my potential diagnosis and follow my instincts.
I got misdiagnosed with BPD and felt the predjudice by a mental health professional. I really appreciate what Kati said in the end. As many as half the patients can recover? If BPD is the result of trauma then the trauma is treatable. With work. You can do this!
Oh gods i am not diagnosed but i relate so much, especialy from fear of abandonment and tendency to kick people out of my life before they do, impulsiveness, eating disorder, poor self image, suicidal thoughts, feeling empty and numb...i was even given out a university paper on pd's and pointed out borderline as oddly descriptive of me before i even suspected i had anything but long lasting depression. Another person on reddit sugested i had bpd and now i am on a waiting list to see a psychologist so i can clarify those things once and for all, 1.5 year is a long time though and I just want to know what I have to better counter it and heal myself.
I've known several people with bpd and never fully understood the disorder. These videos are helping me and I'm thankful for that. It is such a complex disorder, but understanding this helps to sympathize and not stigmatize. To focus on helping, rather than hindering, people with the disorder.
Hi there! Im currently searching for information related to bpd and asking people their point of view.. would you be interested in talking to me about it?
I'm an introvert, so the quite borderline fits me very well. I rarely will lash out outwards. I have been struggling to find a therapist that will listen to me and my concerns as I feel like I have BPD but I keep being passed around or I switch therapist when I don't like them anymore. I wish you were around my area, I feel like you could help. I love all your videos and this gives me hope
Harley Quinn I have to really watch the "splitting" and black and white assessments about people. I cannot have a non-assertive therapists as I will steam roll them even just with my happy self. They can't keep up
This is def me, quiet and inward symptoms no one would ever know and for years I felt alone like I was so different and bad I didn't even fit the borderline diagnosis the way I was supposed to until heard this term a couple months back. Gave me hope for healing. Thanks!
This! This is me! When I was diagnosed my parents said that I wasnt BPD even though three therapists told me I was. I go for public healthcare so a therapist cant say they wont see you if they are the only option avaiable but I felt a little stuck until my therapist offered me to enter group therapy. Its hard but I feel im making some progress and I get to meet other people with similar experiences so I feel a little bit less alone.
THANK YOU xoxoxo I just started to watch your videos and you are amazing. My husband was diagnosed at 38 years old with BPD. He is now 44. You are the first professional to say it is not forever!!! I am an L.P.N. and have a hard time with my colleagues opinions about things....The stigma & over generalization is always horrible. He is one of the kindest & most loving people in the world. Very loyal and devoted. It huts to see him not be treated right. My heart soars knowing your clients have you.
This video got me spot on. I've never seen one video on this website that speaks to me more than this one. I really want to get help but I feel like my parent might be the cause of what i'm feeling and I don't want to bring this up to them to avoid conflict. I'm 17 now and I plan to move out at 18 or as soon as I get the chance. I'm just hoping things will get better from there...
To say the least... Thank you so much. I have felt so crappy hearing and often reading about BPD being a disorder that may never fade and it's gotten so disheartening and frightening thinking I may have to be like this forever. I sometimes forget that I gotta power through what the naysayers may think and know that this can be overcome one day.
Crazy Cat because we have identity problems and convince ourselves if we were normal we would be happy.... and then our emotions go into overdrive and we become emotional and next minute we’re numb and depressed
I've known for a long time that I'm a Quiet Borderline, and I've read as much as I could about it... but nothing comes close to how spot on this is. Thank you for being so validating.
I was diagnosed with BPD about 5 years ago. I fit the criteria for a "quiet" borderline. At the time that I was diagnosed, I was in a really dark place. I was seeing all kinds of people and none of them ever really wanted to deal with me, I was never even told what BPD was. I was only ever treated on the surface level. I thought it was just another diagnoses that I'd already gotten, like depression. I was wrong, and only recently I've discovered what it really is. This video was really insightful and I feel like I understand myself a little better now. I really wish I could sit down and have a session with you, I've never really felt comfortable letting anyone in, but you seem wonderful. Your clients are very blessed. I do have a question though... How should I tell my boss, or just generally bring up my mental illnesses? We are a small business and he puts a lot of pressure on me and hounds me for things I can't control. I feel like my job is beginning to contribute to my problems but I don't want to seem like a hassle, or come across as a giant sook. I don't know how begin to be comfortable having to be a "real adult".
+Whitney Fitzgerald maybe get your psychiatrist/psychologist to write a letter indicating your mental illness to your boss (its more formal and will be taken more seriously by your boss), plus workplaces cannot discriminate because of your mental illness so don't be ashamed to telling them.
Thank you for this video. I've rewatched and relistened to it several times just for the moment when you read that there is recovery for those with BPD. Hearing it always uplifts me.
I am so glad I found this video! for a very long time now I have thought I could potentially have BPD, but I never lash out or appear angry on the outside, but inside I'm bubbling over! I've wanted to go to my doctor to find out but have never bothered as I thought they'd turn me away and keep telling me it's depression, because my mood changes are never on the outside. But every point you made describes me to a T. I feel better about seeking further help now I know this is a thing. so, thank you!
I really appreciate the passage you read at the end. I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 15, and told that there was no hope for me. I'm about to be 21 now and have done a lot of self help, yet still struggle with the intense fear of abandonment - especially tonight. Just being assured that I will be okay, I can and am healing, etc, gives me much more confidence and strength to get out of toxic relationships. Thank you!
After years of wondering what was “wrong” with me, I was diagnosed with BPD at age 59. I’m almost 60 now. I was in counseling for a lot of other things! At 3 I was put in front of a room full of doctors who stared and then laughed. I have birth defects they were there to study. The laughing was most likely because someone said something funny. I at the age of 3 didn’t understand. I thought for years they were laughing at me. Loss of my father at age 10. Mother’s neglect from that point on. Brother sexually abused me at 12 and mother ignored it. I had a child die at 2 days old. Oldest brother killed in Air Force. Husband left me and our 2 children when on vacation. Remarried and he turned out to be a narcissist. Cheated on me a few times. Expected me to get over it in 3 weeks after his return from Iraq. Soon thereafter, my son was KIA in Afghanistan. 22 years of marriage to the narcissist and I said finally no more. I certainly now understand my diagnosis. As for being “cured” at this stage and age, doubtful. I try hard. But I’ve seen myself in after the fact. My emotional triggers and buttons. Sometimes I just don’t want to leave the house. Most times I don’t.
If videos like this sound relatable to you, see if you can find a way to get some professional psychological testing done. A couple of hours tops of filling in answers to several tests and a follow-up visit to get your results can save some time and guesswork on the part of your (current or future) psychiatrist and/or psychologist on determining what treatment plan is right for you.
My therapist told me I might have BPD. This really confused me at first, but watching this video actually explained a lot! I think quiet borderline does explain a lot of my symptoms and how I'm feeling. Thank you so much!
I'm finishing up a graduate class on child psychopathology and I realized that I definitely had full-blown BPD in my late teens/early 20's. It all makes so much sense now, but I still struggle. I now have BPD tendencies, definitely on the Quiet spectrum. Just bought the DBT workbook Kati recommended. I'm hoping that will be another step in the right direction. The worst for me is the constantly changing perceptions of self and others. This trait has ruined pretty much every relationship I've tried to hold down and does a hell of a number on your self-esteem. For a long time I thought I was crazy, as I could look in the mirror one day and believe myself to be a beauty, and then 2 days later be filled with loathing and disgust at my weight or appearance. One day loving the touch of another, the next being filled with absolute horror at even the thought of touching, even in a platonic way. I'm so tired of hurting those I love. This really is one of the most devastating psychiatric disorders to deal with. Props to all of you who keep going. With the state of our economy, seeing a mental health professional may be outside your financial ability (like me), but do not lose hope. Realizing you have demons to deal with is the first step. You are strong. You are loved in a way you cannot even imagine, a way that is beyond our feeble language to describe. Have faith, friends. "I wish none of this had happened." "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. ... There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides that of evil".
This was so interesting. When I was diagnosed as having BPD, I didn't see it at all. My sister is a textbook case of the disorder and we're nothing alike. Now I see why! She's very anger-out, whereas I'm anger-in, as you say. Thank you!
I feel it's rather smart that in your videos you refer to "we" when discussing these diagnoses.
Kati uses all the language techniques so well
I think its very kind. She doesn't want anyone to feel marginalized.
It makes me feel better
Sean Noonan I think she's wonderful. She is so accepting and caring. AND SMART!
@@f9054 hahahah 😂😂😂
I am staying away from everyone so no one gets hurt.
+bananian Me too.
I concur. This may be cherophobia, my friend. I have that.
Crestie Rina Blakely
I definitely have that, lol. I would rather be consistently melancholic than to be happy for a short period of time and be bogged down by something horrible.
But I am just bad at being a human being in general. I don't want others to get hurt because of my shittiness.
bananian nah, man. I don't think you're a bad human being. We keep away to protect people and also ourselves. It's lonely, yeah. Definitely.. But it's noble. Think of it this way--a person infected with an incurable, high transmittable disease isolates himself for the benefit of many. Lonely, yet noble. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just know that you're not alone in this. I know the feel.
me too :(
When I feel irritable and I'm not communicating it, because I don't always know how to handle my thoughts. I lash out with a quick snappy comment, I always feel the grief right after which leaves me apologizing a lot. Or even I find my coping mechanism is to retreat, and separate myself from others.
Yeah that's a bad habit I have too. I always feel people are talking down to me, so that's the need to make smart comments, but then the other person is just annoyed. Only one person has told me, "I love your sarcasm" and I don't want that person to love anything about me.
ProblemBoy Official Pretty sure that there isnt much difference between the two...
Alexis Hampton I started acting, at school I pretend, and even when I'm with myself, but there's time(for example now) I realize that I'm not myself, but then I think back that I have took this so far that I can't go back, so I might as well keep going
Alexis Hampton I feel the same way. I stay away from people because I fear if they know the true me they won't like me and leave. I do have mood swings and sometimes they can be very intense. So I don't even try anymore
Alexis Hampton this is so me
Quiet borderlines implode and cave-in under stress, and when traumatized "act in" by isolating and withdrawing.
as a person with bpd I tend to detach myself from people when I feel abandoned to make sure I don't get a continuous feeling of abandonment which can be very damaging
I do exactly the same for the reasons you just expressed so well.
@@elfglow4557 wow. i feel the exact same. it's relieving to know im not alone.
My girlfriend told me she was diagnosed with BPD a year ago, and she fits all the criteria of the quiet borderline. She directs everything to herself. Now, she at least tells me when she's sad and I can be there for her, but she does tend to push away when she's feeling that way. She thinks she's annoying or that she doesn't deserve the attention. She's one of the most gorgeous girls I have ever saw and I feel incredibly lucky to be with her. But she literally thinks she's "gross" and she is in NO way gross! She is also a twin and her twin seems to be treated by their parent's as if she's perfect and my girlfriend does everything wrong. She's still in the closet, because her parents are very religious, so that's putting a lot of stress on her too. I honestly.....don't see myself ever letting her go. I tell her how much I care for her and how beautiful she is everyday. She might not believe it herself...but she believes me when I say I think so and that is already such a big step for her. Doing as much research on the quiet borderline just so I can be better prepared for her. I do alright already but it can be very stressful. One big step though that she has made, she has not cut or hurt herself since we got together. She comes to me when she feels that now...which I'm so grateful for. I want to take care of her and love her forever and the way she actually deserves. She...is honestly such an amazing person, and I hope one day she can believe it herself.
Your comment brought tears to my eyes I think you have such a kind heart to actually stand by her instead of running away once you find out her diagnosis or when things become difficult your actions show how much you care and how much you truly love this woman. Your willing to help her get through this and you support her which is so very important. Those are things we all desperately need and deserve yet rarely find. I'm so proud to know that there are good people out there that actually have a heart. You have a beautiful soul and she is so lucky to have you. I truly wish you both the best and you're in my prayers.
RegionalBlurryface you are a gift
I have the same diagnosis as your girlfriend has and let me tell you you are an absolute angel. She is so lucky to of found someone like you because we tend to feel like there is no one out there for us, and that if there is we will push them away eventually. But being there for her is so important and I’m glad to hear someone like me found someone as caring as you 💕
You are awesome! Thank you for being with her and standing by her. Though there may be times that a rough for you, you are so strong and give her the stable love she so needs. And with your help, I do believe she will make so much improvement! Remission is in the horizon!
This is so sweet and made me cry... I'm newly diagnosed with BPD and I'm terrified to tell my boyfriend in fear that he will leave me. He had a really awful BPD ex in the past and he hates her. She wasn't a quiet BPD like me, but I still worry. I really hope he responds like you have
I wish u were my therapist. U just seem to understand!!
Thank u so much for creating this community!
+Kati Morton Kati I need your help! I love this song called Pumped Up Kicks by Foster The People & I found this comment about Columbine & I searched it up & the shooters seemed to experience the same type of emotions I feel & I feel bad for them because of the emotions them & I experience well emotions they experienced cuz they are dead. And now when I cry I think of them & what I have been through. Kati how can I get away from comparing myself to them? Thanx
+Kati Morton Also Kati I think I'm traumatized by it because it's always in my head & also when I'm public it seems I am more cautious of my surroundings. Also when I go to school I look all around me & I feel like I'm gonna get a small panic attack and since we had to return our textbooks to the library I just kept looking around & the library scene just kept haunting me & I literally had to check under the desk! Columbine I'm pretty sure that you know about it was a school shooting...
+Maria Mendez sounds like agoraphobia to me but what do you think when you look it up?
+Kati Morton you're really sweet. I like your videos. I don't think I have these issues myself but I like learning. what I do have is health anxiety or hypochondria... I have a very hard time with it. I haven't found a video of you touching on that "disorder", if that's the correct term to describe it. hugs from Buenos Aires, Argentina!
I binge shop, then return (sometimes)!
This is a sincere request for help!
Most with BPD become chameleons, that is, they become whoever they must be to fit any circumstance, as a result the true inner person is supressed. This suppression of that inner person has gone on for years, most likely an entire lifetime. It has reached the point where I no longer know who that person is, or ever was. How do I reconnect with that true self? I do not feel as if I have a true personality. I have become an actor on stage 24/7.
I was diagnosed with BPD over 20 years ago but have lived in denial. I have tried to hide BPD but now realize after watching Kati’s videos I am what she calls a Quite BPD. I am now trying to address this condition but don’t know where to go from here.
Lisa just received your offer to help, Thank You! Not sure how you can. Not sure how to contact you. If you are sincere please let me know. Thanks Roy
I feel the exact same way. I am 25, but I know I have BPD and I am also feeling like an actor 24/7... it really sucks... but it feels like a survival mechanism.. albeit not the best/ most sustainable or healthy
Hello Katherin DeBinski thank you for contacting me.
Recently I spoke with someone taking the same DBT course as I and we talked about the idea of not being in touch with the true inner self.
Her comment was that that true person is still their just very difficult to recognize. We get flashes of that person when an unfiltered option pops to the surface. For example you may feel and express disgust at the unjust treatment of others. That is your true inner self coming out. You are a good person deep inside who longs for justice in this world. True that person is very well buried and living as an actor “really sucks” but if you get these surprise flashes of your inner self you can at least realize that you are still in their somewhere.
We struggle in ways those around us do not realize or understand and at times I wonder if the struggle is worth the effort but I am still here trying and for now I guess that is enough.
Regards Roy
Roy Tufts you literally explained how I am! like I can be whoever someone wants me to be, especially like social cues and proper behavior. but when I'm alone with myself I'm a monster with my emotions. my therapist told me I was ready to get out of therapy but I knew I wasn't. that's because I know logic but my emotions override them most of the time.
it is enough Roy :) xoxo hope you're well
isolation is the worst. i’ve “disappeared” for months at a time. my friends who have managed to stick around know that when i don’t respond or reach out for a while that i’m just goin through it. i’ve lost so many friends over my need to isolate
aaaand not to self diagnose but now i'm listening to a person describing almost everything that's going on with me. grey me.
I'm in the same boat
+Soul Sister yes omg, im so scared they'll just shrug it off and say that i'm just overreacting
+Soul Sister especially because i rarely speak my problems to others and its hard to say it, it hurts when all that effort is just replied with a simple, "no you're fine" probably just going to keep these problems in my head
don't give up! a psychiatrist just finally acknowledged my borderline symptoms and there's some progress now. it took a while but its worth it so keep fighting for the right diagnosis!!
Haha same, I have almost every single symptom of BPD. I'm probably just over exaggerating though...
Sometimes narcissistic abuse can cause borderline tendencies. There's a funny saying that sometimes can ring true, "If you think you're crazy, make sure you're not surrounded by assholes."
you shouldn't use the term 'narcissistic abuse' it's harmful just as 'borderline abuse' is harmful.
@@cloudrot4955 I and millions of other human beings have PTSD from narcissistic abuse. If you don't like clinical terms simply refrain from using them.
@@cloudrot4955 sorry but my mom is a narcissist and she has emotionally abused me since I was a day old. I think I have a right to call it narcissistic abuse
I ended up with a narcissist.. (11 years).. eye roll. I probably had been getting better but that and the pandemic just threw everything into a tailspin...
13 years of sociopath abuse drunk stepdad. 32 years of Narcissist abuse from mom very draining like a mosquito and many flying monkeys that are manulators pretty evil people. Gaslighter boyfriends. People cheating all the time.
I think at one point there were two Narcissist. On top of that Satan attackz and his flying monkeys just never ends.
Yep it gets better! I was diagnosed with bpd at 19. I was in a&e on the daily, things were dreadful. Fast forward 10 years, now at 29 I work in the mental health sector, I'm a manager. I have been in a relationship for 8 years. I like myself. It gets better! If only I knew 10 years ago. But hey, it shaped me into who I am now. Bpd is definitely not life long, I am living proof. Love xxxx
I like how you make me feel like im not a monster...thank you
Adrienne Glesinger get DBT.
I start dbt on october 14 at 8am....i already have the workbooks...been doing cbt for a decade but that shit takes too long
@@adrienneglesinger8846 how does it help? How long do you have bpd? May i ask you some questions on insta?
@@cso6060 sure
I've known something was wrong with me for a long time. I know you're not supposed to self diagnose but I feel ive finally got my answer.
I love how she always says “we”: Makes you feel better cause she really feels what you’re going through. Like you’re not so alone.
I love the meditating frog in the background, hahaha!
OMG thank's for saying that! I hadn't noticed it! xD best meditating frog EVER :D
Adrian Zieniewicz lol thank you for pointing it out 😂
Adrian Zieniewicz
She's a Zen KEK !
I actually expressed to my therapist about how I'm almost certain I have BPD... and she pretty much totally disregarded it, because I don't clearly show it in our sessions. I've been seeing her for three months, and yeah I'm a very timid person, especially when it comes to strangers... but it made me angry how invalidated she made me feel and how clearly she shows bias when it comes to BPD. It's frustrating.
Aethereal I have the exact same problem.. although i'm not certain i have it but when i mention it she ignores it..
Did you tell her that?
Aethereal maybe make a list of some points that might not have come up, things you forget to mention in session, things that she wouldn't be able to glean just from sitting in a room with her. For example, any impulsive behaviours, relationship issues, reactions in everyday life etc
It helps to take a person who knows and see everything for a long period of time to clarify especially since people with bpd will just lie and mirror the therapist without even knowing they are bc it's so enmeshed so well for so long to not say or show the real side of you only few close people might see also each different person will see the different side and get different story for each of them on the same subject which is usually mostly lies and manipulation to not get shamed or to gain control over the situation of different events. Really crazy making stories that never align with each other ever . Really easy for others to see it if the are really long term friend or family made aware of the disorder is like a bomb going off in their heads of OMG that finally makes so much sense and be undeniable. And it was just like that for me with my wife of 20 yrs together all most loosing my mind with all of the crazy minimizing stories that never fit every with catching in lies then she say how sorry she was and never lie ever again and is finally telling the truth to only days later say she lied again bc she had no choice and I wouldn't want her if I knew the truth when that's all I reassured her I needed was the truth and nothing else so after 5 different times of the same patterns within a year I realize it was the same exact patterns of other things in the past were exact same excuse and lies blaming me with the exact opposite of what I asked for bc I wouldn't want her and I don't lover her desire her and just always shame her . When I literally say the opposite things to reassure her that she is not those things right before she would not believe me and say I literally said the opposite to her and storm off and give silent treatment bc she really told herself I said things to her that she said she thought about herself. Crazy making gaslighting nonsense over and over . Like I said undeniable once you learn the true traits and actions of someone with any type of bdp. And of course her therapist doesn't see it and say it's bipolar bc she hasn't seen it day in and out for 20yrs.
yep. literally just dealt with the same thing. because I am not a "classic" she was like you don't have it. she also didn't even really know about it and had to look up the diagnosis for it. so clearly she hasn't seen it in its broad spectrum of forms. it is frustrating being invalidated like that especially because she knows that I feel invalidated by my parents for my emotions.
A friend of mine has a partner with BPD. She's come really far and they have a child together now. I really love them both - very creative and unique people. The word 'borderline' for some reason has become quite scary. That label can veil a person who is suffering from a lot of pain. I really admire the way she has dealt with it all.
When I'm angry at people I don't tell them because I'm afraid they'll see how much of a self centered bad person I am and then leave me :(
yes ... same
me too :/
When people have hurt you, it can become difficult to separate yourself from that hurt (not to engage in self-blame/inadequacy). Dwelling on these thoughts, in turn, can cause self-hatred for some. Self-hatred affects your relationships and ultimately the ability to emotionally regulate within these relationships... feeling you are not good enough, clinging onto people for self-affirmation, love, acceptance, happiness, guidance (everything that you are not able to internally be/feel). When you need people to give you these basics that should have been established, it can be catastrophic when they hurt you, or leave. Your world is crumbling, you are alone, and you have no meaning; weightless, and invisible. Sometimes there is external anger, and/or internal anger.. punishment because you caused this, confusion because you hate them and love them; you hate yourself.
And then you realize that you have worth and meaning, and people may leave, and people will hurt you, and maybe you are alone, but it will be OK. You are OK with who you are, and have found the acceptance in the shortcomings of people and the shortcomings of who you are. And everyday it gets a little easier to be in your own skin.
My mom refuses to accept my BPD diagnosis. It's been years now since I got it. Every time I mention it she says I don't have it and she doesn't believe that's what I have. It drives me insane. Especially bc I feel I'm more on the quiet end. Maybe that's why she completely invalidates me...
I suspect I have the same illness because I'm normal most of the time but can become self-destructive or attention seeking when I get involved in any conflicts.
I am sorry your mom doesn't validate your experience and diagnosis. I hope you keep focusing on your wellbeing. 💛
+Zhiby Halloran thank you!!!
fevermoon Oh my gosh my family is the same! I'm sorry, it is hard when people do that.
fevermoon I understand your frustration. I just got the results of my evaluation about a week ago and my mom just did not want to hear it! I'm just trying to remember that the most important thing is that I understand what's going on because ultimately I can only help myself.
I wish I could show people how I was as to what I am now. I didnt believe it would ever get better. But with actually taking responsibillity for my emotions, finding stability, and a while range of things. I feel like I am now a proper person.
Kelly Juliet Hall wow! That gives me a tiny bit of hope. I'd like to feel like a regular person someday.
Kelly Juliet Hall yessssss thank you!
As a person with diagnosed with quiet BPD I'm so happy you addressed it. A lot of people aren't aware it exists, everything is internalized, instead of being expressed externally. My lashing out is internalized towards myself, 98% of my splitting is on myself. What I view as me being aggressive or angry is not perceived that way to the other person like you said. Thank you again for addressing quiet bpd, it makes me happy that its getting acknowledged.
My cousin is completely cured of borderline personality disorder! She is in her 30s, has a husband, a well paying job, and a plethora of degrees! There is hope. YOU WILL MAKE IT!
I might have borderline, myself. My psychologist and psychiatrist are debating it because it took me a while to 1. Open up 2. Sober up 3. Really be aware of my behaviors. DBT is not only a godsend for Borderlines but also people with ptsd, which I am currently diagnosed with, as well as bipolar and panic disorder. I am a binge eater, and a recovering addict alcoholic. I started therapy a year ago and I’m already changing. I also am part of AA and NA and I’m going to start going to OA to tackle my eating disorder. I think the most important part of handling mental illness is being as open as possible to help!!! Much love guys, I believe in you!
I was in a psychology class and the textbook said that people with BPD often die alone. The end of this video helped me a lot. Like maybe I won't be alone forever...
I'm not saying I have BPD but wow this seriously describes me, except that you know that part where you say they keep their anger in? well I do but, it just kind of builds up in there and then one day when I can't hold it in anymore I lash out, and in that moment I lose all control and everything I do is impulsive.
Yeah, it can be straight aggression, or passive aggression. It doesn't just chill there.
I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and I definitely can be a “quiet” borderline or a “normal” borderline. Like I do lash out and stuff but that’s only with a few people (literally just my mom and therapist more recently) but generally I just push people away and distance myself from them. I block them out when I have really hectic low episodes.
So essentially I’m in the middle
same here
Why don't you take your mom to a family therapist, or were you born that way?
I was diagnosed with BPD when I was around 8. I suffered from extreme abuse as a child for 13 years until I watched my abuser die in front of me from a drug overdose. Thank you for this video! When people see my self harm scars they either are afraid of me or want to fix me. They see a disease instead of a person!
There is a saying " The only normal people, are the people we don't know very well "
I cried when she said I could get better at the end. I’ve gotten a lot of “we don’t treat those..” this is an awesome feeling.
I think I have quiet bpd but my mum thinks I'm just making up things, but when I'm with people I'm happy but a few hours later a certain subject like a trigger makes me upset so I go to my room and get really upset and I feel worthless and I feel like if I died who would actually care and I feel like I'm never going to achieve something with my life and then when calm down an hour or two later then i am fine and gradually I forget about my worries and feel a lot better then at night I feel like shit again and cry myself to sleep then I wake up and I feel fine but no one would believe that I suffer from a mental illness because as you say I'm 'anger in' and I don't express my sadness as I'm alone in my room and then when I'm with people I'm fine
Eilie Richmond Same.
Same..
i’m exactly the same
this is exactly what happens to me
oh my god it’s in words i’m literally exactly the same and i don’t know what to do
I’m a quiet borderline and anyone struggling let me give you my humble advice. You are not your thoughts, you are you. It’s isn’t about what you think of feel it’s about what you do with those thoughts and feelings.
This is my first year with my BPD diagnosis, and these videos have been a lifesaver for me. I often am kept up at night with worry that ill never be able to manage how intensely i feel all the time, or how i always end up deeply hating the people i deeply love. I pop on a kati morton BPD video and by the end my worries are gone. There's something about her language and tone that is so reassuring. Thank you, Kati
It is almost worse knowing what i am.......
+Vismis I find it a relief. I've been struggling all my life and it really helps to know it really is a disorder, that I'm not just a bad person.
+Paska Niska It a relief and an stuggle
It depends on how you see it. Now you know what to google if you want resources on how to deal. Also, I think that people that believe a disorder is forever are full of bs. It might be a long time, but it's not necessarily forever!! Don't be ashamed to take your time, find different techniques that people tried, and literally try each one 30 times. Believe me when I say that some of them don't work until you've done it at least a dozen times. I think it's partially because the feels are so much that you can't *tell* when things are improving a tiny bit. Also prayer is huge for me.
Almost
Pseudo Dionysius many people diagnosed with BPD actually have complex ptsd and the reason they are misdiagnosed is because of the similarities. BPD you could say is a lot worse than CPTSD or harder to recover from. Also, these things are categorized as neuroses and not psychoses - which means they are subconscious, emotional based problems which can be solved through subconscious mind therapy. I went through the nightmare of thinking I had BPD (even though I had no fear of abandonment and a couple of others) and I'm glad I found out about complex ptsd - and just that face that many of these "disorders" are really labels put on neurotic, emotional behaviour resulting from a screwy upbringing
I'm crying right now because of the last part you told us. Thank you SO MUCH for that!! Whenever I read about my borderline syndrome on the internet or in books or magazines EVERYWHERE they're saying people with BS could never have a good functional relationship or even keep a good friendship. I really thought it would be better to stay alone until the end of my life so nobody gets hurt. I felt like the lonliest person on earth, and now I saw your video and I can't stop crying because you gave me back some hope. Again, thank you sooooo much!!!! :')
I just want you to know that the end of this video made me cry. I thought I was maybe bipolar or that I was depressed, anxious, and also just a bad person. I've realized that I hit every single criteria for qbpd, it's like reading about myself exactly. It's honestly a relief being able to put a name to the shadow hanging over me. But you stating that this can go away or at least get better with help gave me real hope. Its been debilitating thinking that I will always be this way and I'd never be able to be normal or have a happy life. The possibility of not always being the way I am makes me actually want to try. So thank you for that.
Right. I always deemed myself as this horrible person in these situations only to stumble upon this video and understand what truly is wrong with me.
my gf said she was diagnosed as bipolar years ago. There's no damn way she is. BPD, however, seems spot on. There is a clear multiple personality thing going on, but I've concluded it's just different versions of her manifesting according to her mood. I tell her I love all her versions. Some of them are horrible, but we all have horrible sides. Versions of her are all her. Even if I could change the channel for a better version, this would be ignoring who she is. I'm no angel and trying my best to not unleash hellfire. She makes that difficult, but I've seen the pure love also manifest all at once in those versions. It's a love so pure and real....in that moment.
I've just recently realized this is called BPD and I tell you from all my heart who are reading this comment and have BPD, I realize how much I'm healed from that since 5 years ago. I really didn't know its called BPD until now. I just figured out before few hours than now. Don't let anyone tell you its impossible to heal from. The fact is, its hard when you don't know what's going on. Even then, its not THAT MUCH hard. You CAN have peace within and be stable.
I was recently diagnosed with bipolar+ cluster B personality disorder+ PTSD(due to long-term domestic violence since childhood), and I have been watching a lot of your videos. I think I fall under the quiet type, internalizing my anger and rather blaming myself than lashing out to others.
This video helps me regain my courage and confidence a lot. Your videos provide not only education, but above all, comfort and hope! Thank you for all the effort you pour into your videos, I feel much less alone and finally understood. Thank you.
I thought I had severe depression, but now everything makes sense. I am a quiet borderline, what do I do now?
I have absolutely no friends cause I push everyone away. I can't work cause I feel awful around people. I always rum away from all jobs interviews and it's embarassing. I've never dated anyone cause well, why would anyone Love me? I'm disgusting.
When I don't get enough attention, I can say very mean things and hurt people. I've been isolated for years and really depressed. I haven't left my house in months and I feel terible when I go out. I feel inferior to women around me, and when I see friends having fun and going out, I can't understand how they do it. I've never felt happy, not even once in my life. I've tried suicide twice and plan on trying again soon, my psychologist will never diagnose me as a quiet borderline. She probably doesn't even know what this is.
I'm desperate. It CAN NOT get better. I've been like this for 22 years and it only gets worse. My Life is ruined and my dreams will die with me.
You sound like me to a T. I hope you are able to find adequate help/treatment....22 is soooo young, please don't give up. Sending love your way.
Are you ok today? I'm so out of hope and every bridge I had is burned. All my bad choices are going to catch up any day and I'm terrified. So tired of existing this way.
I see the whole BFF thing and I Want it but at the same time I don't. I want someone who will love me because they choose to but I don't think I can ever have that because being that close to someone is scary. I started pushing away my friends and now that we don't really talk as much because they noticed me pushing them away I feel even worse. The only person I will never really push away is my mom. She doesn't know how I feel sometimes but I know she wouldn't judge me. I feel like I can't do anything right. I hope you've felt better and I hope maybe one day I'll start to feel better.
I see a dog in your avi. I bet she makes you feel better and vice versa. Just because it's been this way doesn't mean it needs to stay this way. I'm glad you reached out; it sucks you're sad. I hope you can hang out with your puppy and try to find one thing a day that makes you feel better.
This is exactly how my life has been for the last 18 years... I feel stuck , Its abosutely horrible. I'm sorry that you are experience this too, & know that I know exactly how you feel. I truely hope you find help or happinees & start living life❤
The last part when you said that half the people who got treatment after 10 years have gotten better made me cry. I've heard so many times I'm gonna have this for life so it was really nice to hear a positive outlook on such a horrible mental illness. Thank you for these videos they're great 💖💖
I'm so happy to hear someone say outloud how I feel having quiet borderline. Most ppl don't understand the intense feelings I have except my Drs. I'm bout to watch all your videos. I think u are great
You saying that it can go away, made me so happy.
I have thought for a long time I might have BPD but because I isolate myself and didn't show my hurt, upset or be overly friendly with people assumed I didn't. I just cried reading all the traits of quiet bpd and I have been getting worse the older i get. Now I have a place to start...
Thank you Katie, for humanizing people with BPD, and not framing us as just another case# with a diagnosis. Many people with BPD are very empathetic, creative, and are genuinely kind people, and we very much want to feel better about ourselves and our place in the world. People who have a personalty disorder or mental illness also have many aspects of mentally healthy aspects too. We are not a loss cause. Thank you for sharing some air and light.
Thank you this is so true
I was diagnosed with BPD but this video explain more about it to me.. I do have Quiet Borderline Personailty Disorder. Thank you so much for explaining so much to me.
Thank you for stressing the BPDs can get better. I can’t tell you how many times I felt completely hopeless after watching a few other “psych” channels and then reading the comments. I felt like totally giving up on everything. But I know I have gotten better since I started DBT. And I’m so grateful for learning the skills I’m learning because I NEVER intended any harm to anyone...
For me I listen to music and it helped my depression and slows my suicidal thoughts..I have bpd and this group literally saved my life.. the Armyyyyyy is a great community..we are like family and many of us suffer from mental illness and so do members of BTS so we support one another..
here's you can enjoy and understand with English lyrics also better learn their faces and voices
BTS Song Lyrics Playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLcvPWueInsU_PPwS6H8qKHkZhjWugU0JB
If you are interested to know who they are..this is an introduction video of the members
ruclips.net/video/xu0IfBvZMRs/видео.html
To further get to know them here is a video portraying their hardships and struggle through the years because this group had been living together for 7 years and they started from the bottom and truly are humble hardworking and talented
ruclips.net/video/sMkRmnkI8kE/видео.html
Also if you want to know their personalities watch this show..subbed in English and Spanish
Run BTS! SUB: ruclips.net/p/PLRhZCETh6UQjtz6em7Zar_4efHjIpvaZfttf
BTS also are the first artists to speak on behalf of the youth about the love yourself and end violence campaign with UNICEF at the United Nations UN 👏
ruclips.net/video/2MfJAb27fbU/видео.html
Also some of my favorite fanmade videos to see them in action..
ruclips.net/p/PLszJPJRuH-LzcEcscptVWsJ_qEIRXv51V
music videos from them solo..they do it solo to show you the individual style..the whole rap line has mixtapes as well as Jungkook the youngest (21) does English covers..ALL BTS MUSIC VIDEOS HAVE ENGLISH SUBTITLES ((CC))
Taehyung song singularity
ruclips.net/video/p8npDG2ulKQ/видео.html
Jin's song Epiphany
ruclips.net/video/fIkZOLsnoqY/видео.html
Jimins song serendipity
ruclips.net/video/BEMaH9Sm3lQ/видео.html
Jungkook song euphoria
ruclips.net/video/kX0vO4vlJuU/видео.html
Other faves are :
RM reflection (leader and rapper)
ruclips.net/video/n24XPz7UZ7Q/видео.html
Suga nevermind (rapper/producer)
ruclips.net/video/9iOJWTdFBBU/видео.html
Suga ft. Jungkook and jin (vocalists in BTS) so far away
ruclips.net/video/U8LDe135K-A/видео.html
Truth untold
ruclips.net/video/tK4oNOE4V6s/видео.html
They make great music and have so many genres within any given album you can go from A-Z 😎🎙️🎹🎸🎷😎 and they are always trying new things
live performance stages from concerts (I update everyday since they're on tour right now so click for new performances)
ruclips.net/p/PL3uk-QDJ_17pU7GIWo8NA5mWBkoNbpMxY
Try their remixes and full version songs like this extended one of fake love with the Rock vibe mix..it's on the new album (Love Yourself Answer) also every BTS music videos have closed captioning for English speaking audience
ruclips.net/video/D_6QmL6rExk/видео.html
Love is not over
youtu.be/6SYl
Thank you!!!!!!!! Everything you said was so right on. The last part when you say that BPD is not life-long was so imcredible to me though, I literally teared up. That is the first time that I have ever heard that BPD is not a life sentence, that it can not just get more managble, but that I can get control back, that lifted this massive weight off of me that has been there for years. I cannot thank you enough, please keep doing everything you are doing!!
My partner found you, to try help me and him deal with my bpd. At first I felt really attacked and it triggered me, because I honestly thought I was over it. After actually watching your videos, Ive realised that I fixed the issues that were direct to me and that I could identify. Unfortunately I didn't realise I was still going through, splits, and dissociation without even realising. I cry nearly everytime watching your videos, because Soo many people paint BPD as a controlling, bad disorder, but here you explain so much! Without any judgement! Its an eternal battle we go through daily, but it's good to know there is help and recovery is possible! The only thing all of us want is to feel happy, safe, supported and loved. Thank you so much your help ❤
I was just recently diagnosed with BPD and your videos have helped me to understand myself so much better. Thank you ❤
So grateful to have found you. I’ve been asking for help for 39 years. I haven’t been able to find the right therapist. I’ve always been alone, but I cannot even connect with people anymore. I’m so scared. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I feel like I have to heal myself, but I really need a family, friends, or a partner.
you're awesome and please don't stop making videos!! you're helping so many people so much!!
I am a quiet borderline and currently having issues with not feeling like I'm getting enough support. Love your videos, thank you :)
So I have quiet borderline because I dont really have anger towards others but mainly towards myself, I was starting to doubt that I have bpd but I never knew there was a quiet borderline. Thanks for the tip, I kinda understand myself.
I wish you were my therapists. You're bright personality is enough to make anyone feel better.
Another video idea: Adult children of BPD parents. What are the consequences of growing up with a BPD parent and also the adoption of certain BPD traits in case of a BPD parent being the only role model to children, even if the child itself does not have BPD themselves.
- Stop Walking on Eggshells - P. Mason & R. Kreger
- Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem - K. Roth.
My mom destroyed our family with BPD. I wish she would have had some help, but there was nothing available in the 1970s and 80s.
Her deal was to blame us all for her shitty life, but then freaking panic when we cut her out for self preservation. This went on until she died at 80.
So yeah...a vid would be nice.
Just bought the one about parents! Thank you for this. My mom is BPD... and I wonder if I have some traits as well. I’m struggling to be a good mom and not continue the cycle... it’s so difficult being a parent of young kids and knowing how to guide them appropriately
There's really only consequences of their behaviour gets worse and they don't get help if they are experiencing other things as a result like depression and even for some substance abuse to deal with the symptoms
yes please
"Stop Walking on Eggshells" is an awful book. Very one-sided.
Thank you. That kind of will to fight both stigma and the issues bpd creates in the day to day life is what I’d like to see in my therapist as well. You’re a good one, keep up the good work!
Thank you for this. I have bpd symptoms but I internalise my feelings rather than externalise. I binge eat and drink alcohol to cope but I'm scared of being rejected so I hide everything. Even stating my needs to some degree equals shame.
I'd never threaten suicide or get violent with someone but that always seems to be part of the bpd criteria.
You just gave me the hope that i need to pull myself out of this dark cloud. Thank you Kati. I really love your videos and i hope this is not just an idealization thing
Thank you, mostly for the end. Hearing this meant a lot to me right now.
I love you. I say the same thing to my clients....you can get better...the diagnosis sounds worse than it is....I believe we can overcome everything....research proves that if we treat people as if they can not overcome And they are their diagnosis....the begin to believe they are and will not overcome. I’ve met clients whom utilize diagnosis as an excuse. It’s not an excuse. I’ve met clients with extreme autism and even really bad schizophrenia whom can overcome....kids when stunted intellectual disability whom couldn’t tie their shoes or function....learning to do so. If you treat people as if they are human and more than capable...with encouragement....they overcome. Much love, girl!
I`ve had BPD all my life . I`ve come to a point where I need to improve it otherwise I`ll lose the few people that are still around
Maddie C hey I was just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, can you private message me, to talk to me about it
same, constantly ruining my relationships
Wow.... I've been diagnosed with borderline for about 4 years but have never felt like it could be right because of the way I experience everything so internally instead of outwardly like I've often heard it described. Thanks for this! Kati- you always remind me that I'm not alone in this battle
Omg I'm crying as I'm watching this. This is so me. I'm so glad to know the name for it. Thank you for sharing your videos.
I am a recovered borderline! I was a textbook example. But after years of therapy and getting out of a bad marriage and into a much better relationship, I no longer lash out, attempt suicide, self harm, or question my current fiancee's dedication to me! Yaaaaaay!!
does anybody find it disempowering that mental health professionals try and fit them in a box and don't recognise the uniqueness of everyones personal experiences?
It's hard because people with criteria of BPD don't have good boundaries for getting to know people, so there's a standard structure for intakes. The idea is to go from the structure, and develop an understanding based on it, not to have the client/patient fit themselves to the structure. But since we have challenging social boundaries, we immediately take the structure as an implication that we should be like it.
Journal Bee well they are supposed to say with a disorder not calling them a bpdisorder
I find it empowering, especially battling for 30+ year's feeling like the local weirdo, I want to feel Unity, I want to feel mentally healthy and stronger as long as I Have the name and number of my bs I can keep track of it. I don't want to be unique if it hurts....
You are the only one who understands *****, I thank God everyday for your existance 💕
I just love the way you say "hey everyone!".that's very cute.
I love how natural and informative your videos are. I'm so tired of watching videos that keep jumping, because of the RUclipsr cutting out so many pieces of the video.
Never considered BPD until I cut myself on several occasions recently. I was under extreme stress from work. They acted like they wanted to fire me. Everyone was complaining about me. I got written up 7 times in the last three weeks. I was freaking out. I had all 9 bdd symptoms. They seem to have backed off of me now, I hope. Everyone realized i'm pretty fragile deep down inside. I care about my job so much, I give them my all. All they notice these days is the stuff I say. Iv'e said a lot.That gets me in trouble. The bad is almost outweighing all the good iv'e done at work. Besides all that, I can see the pervasive patterns patterns now throughout my life. Though I would consider myself to be a quiet one. Some BPD videos make you think you need to be a wild emotional sex maniac all the time with endless options of friend's to go hang out with and scream at. I wish I could do all that though. Instead i'm smoking pot, about to drink a strong beer and I might go visit my crazy upstairs neighbor. I should punch him in his ugly face. LOL!
You are my hero!!! This video is me and I can't find anyone to help me. I'm desparate to get better but I cycle through therapists just like cycle through sabotaging everything that is good in my life. The pattern is exhausting me. I need help and I'm only getting worse because nobody knows what to do with me. My impulsive decisions will land me on jail sooner than later. And because I can't stand the shame and horrific guilt I self medicate and that makes me worse. I'm drowning here. I don't have much hope but this made me feel understood, even if only for a few minutes and by a stranger with a zillion followers. I doubt you'll ever see this but in case you do, thank you.
I just started seeing a therapist and on my 3rd and most recent visit with them they suggested a borderline diagnosis. I'm not totally sure I agree with them and its been giving me tons of anxiety trying to analyze it. Quiet borderline could maybe be a possibility but I still dont know and i feel like i was left with soooo many questions. Thank you for reassuring that its okay for me to ask these questions and to really investigate my potential diagnosis and follow my instincts.
I got misdiagnosed with BPD and felt the predjudice by a mental health professional.
I really appreciate what Kati said in the end. As many as half the patients can recover? If BPD is the result of trauma then the trauma is treatable. With work. You can do this!
Oh gods i am not diagnosed but i relate so much, especialy from fear of abandonment and tendency to kick people out of my life before they do, impulsiveness, eating disorder, poor self image, suicidal thoughts, feeling empty and numb...i was even given out a university paper on pd's and pointed out borderline as oddly descriptive of me before i even suspected i had anything but long lasting depression. Another person on reddit sugested i had bpd and now i am on a waiting list to see a psychologist so i can clarify those things once and for all, 1.5 year is a long time though and I just want to know what I have to better counter it and heal myself.
I've known several people with bpd and never fully understood the disorder. These videos are helping me and I'm thankful for that. It is such a complex disorder, but understanding this helps to sympathize and not stigmatize. To focus on helping, rather than hindering, people with the disorder.
Hi there! Im currently searching for information related to bpd and asking people their point of view.. would you be interested in talking to me about it?
I'm an introvert, so the quite borderline fits me very well. I rarely will lash out outwards. I have been struggling to find a therapist that will listen to me and my concerns as I feel like I have BPD but I keep being passed around or I switch therapist when I don't like them anymore. I wish you were around my area, I feel like you could help. I love all your videos and this gives me hope
Harley Quinn I have to really watch the "splitting" and black and white assessments about people. I cannot have a non-assertive therapists as I will steam roll them even just with my happy self. They can't keep up
I wish she was closer I think she wuld help me
This is def me, quiet and inward symptoms no one would ever know and for years I felt alone like I was so different and bad I didn't even fit the borderline diagnosis the way I was supposed to until heard this term a couple months back. Gave me hope for healing. Thanks!
This! This is me! When I was diagnosed my parents said that I wasnt BPD even though three therapists told me I was. I go for public healthcare so a therapist cant say they wont see you if they are the only option avaiable but I felt a little stuck until my therapist offered me to enter group therapy. Its hard but I feel im making some progress and I get to meet other people with similar experiences so I feel a little bit less alone.
THANK YOU xoxoxo I just started to watch your videos and you are amazing. My husband was diagnosed at 38 years old with BPD. He is now 44. You are the first professional to say it is not forever!!! I am an L.P.N. and have a hard time with my colleagues opinions about things....The stigma & over generalization is always horrible. He is one of the kindest & most loving people in the world. Very loyal and devoted. It huts to see him not be treated right. My heart soars knowing your clients have you.
This video got me spot on. I've never seen one video on this website that speaks to me more than this one. I really want to get help but I feel like my parent might be the cause of what i'm feeling and I don't want to bring this up to them to avoid conflict. I'm 17 now and I plan to move out at 18 or as soon as I get the chance. I'm just hoping things will get better from there...
Yes, that is my name ;)
To say the least... Thank you so much. I have felt so crappy hearing and often reading about BPD being a disorder that may never fade and it's gotten so disheartening and frightening thinking I may have to be like this forever. I sometimes forget that I gotta power through what the naysayers may think and know that this can be overcome one day.
I would love to meet a normal person one day
SarahNovak14 Define normal.
I too seek unicorns.
SarahNova why would u want to be normal normal is boring
Crazy Cat because we have identity problems and convince ourselves if we were normal we would be happy.... and then our emotions go into overdrive and we become emotional and next minute we’re numb and depressed
"There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home...."😘
I've known for a long time that I'm a Quiet Borderline, and I've read as much as I could about it... but nothing comes close to how spot on this is. Thank you for being so validating.
I was diagnosed with BPD about 5 years ago. I fit the criteria for a "quiet" borderline.
At the time that I was diagnosed, I was in a really dark place. I was seeing all kinds of people and none of them ever really wanted to deal with me, I was never even told what BPD was. I was only ever treated on the surface level. I thought it was just another diagnoses that I'd already gotten, like depression. I was wrong, and only recently I've discovered what it really is. This video was really insightful and I feel like I understand myself a little better now.
I really wish I could sit down and have a session with you, I've never really felt comfortable letting anyone in, but you seem wonderful. Your clients are very blessed.
I do have a question though... How should I tell my boss, or just generally bring up my mental illnesses? We are a small business and he puts a lot of pressure on me and hounds me for things I can't control. I feel like my job is beginning to contribute to my problems but I don't want to seem like a hassle, or come across as a giant sook. I don't know how begin to be comfortable having to be a "real adult".
+Whitney Fitzgerald maybe get your psychiatrist/psychologist to write a letter indicating your mental illness to your boss (its more formal and will be taken more seriously by your boss), plus workplaces cannot discriminate because of your mental illness so don't be ashamed to telling them.
Thank you for this video. I've rewatched and relistened to it several times just for the moment when you read that there is recovery for those with BPD. Hearing it always uplifts me.
I am so glad I found this video! for a very long time now I have thought I could potentially have BPD, but I never lash out or appear angry on the outside, but inside I'm bubbling over! I've wanted to go to my doctor to find out but have never bothered as I thought they'd turn me away and keep telling me it's depression, because my mood changes are never on the outside. But every point you made describes me to a T. I feel better about seeking further help now I know this is a thing. so, thank you!
I really appreciate the passage you read at the end. I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 15, and told that there was no hope for me. I'm about to be 21 now and have done a lot of self help, yet still struggle with the intense fear of abandonment - especially tonight. Just being assured that I will be okay, I can and am healing, etc, gives me much more confidence and strength to get out of toxic relationships. Thank you!
After years of wondering what was “wrong” with me, I was diagnosed with BPD at age 59. I’m almost 60 now. I was in counseling for a lot of other things! At 3 I was put in front of a room full of doctors who stared and then laughed. I have birth defects they were there to study. The laughing was most likely because someone said something funny. I at the age of 3 didn’t understand. I thought for years they were laughing at me. Loss of my father at age 10. Mother’s neglect from that point on. Brother sexually abused me at 12 and mother ignored it. I had a child die at 2 days old. Oldest brother killed in Air Force. Husband left me and our 2 children when on vacation. Remarried and he turned out to be a narcissist. Cheated on me a few times. Expected me to get over it in 3 weeks after his return from Iraq. Soon thereafter, my son was KIA in Afghanistan. 22 years of marriage to the narcissist and I said finally no more.
I certainly now understand my diagnosis. As for being “cured” at this stage and age, doubtful. I try hard. But I’ve seen myself in after the fact. My emotional triggers and buttons. Sometimes I just don’t want to leave the house. Most times I don’t.
I found answers in vedic astrology spirituality and aura healing .....maybe it can be of some help to you
I'm so sorry for your experience. Your story truly shows how strong you are. Sending love ❤️
Huge sigh of relief hearing someone knowledgable on this saying that it can get better
Thanks for these videos
Missed your videos! Glad you are back!
Your tone and hand gestures while you talk is very calming. I really enjoy these videos. 🙏
If videos like this sound relatable to you, see if you can find a way to get some professional psychological testing done. A couple of hours tops of filling in answers to several tests and a follow-up visit to get your results can save some time and guesswork on the part of your (current or future) psychiatrist and/or psychologist on determining what treatment plan is right for you.
Ohhhh thank you so much for telling us the point that patients DO show improvement! I lose my mind thinking I'll be in a bad state forever.
Its really easy to listen to you. Nice explanation
You truly are a gift to the mental health community. Thanks for all that you do!
I have PTSD and BPD. If I can come to grips with my ‘issues’ SO CAN YOU!!!
My therapist told me I might have BPD. This really confused me at first, but watching this video actually explained a lot! I think quiet borderline does explain a lot of my symptoms and how I'm feeling. Thank you so much!
I relate to what's considered "normal" bpd and quiet bpd :( It's so hard and I'm too scared and antisocial to get help
I'm finishing up a graduate class on child psychopathology and I realized that I definitely had full-blown BPD in my late teens/early 20's. It all makes so much sense now, but I still struggle. I now have BPD tendencies, definitely on the Quiet spectrum. Just bought the DBT workbook Kati recommended. I'm hoping that will be another step in the right direction. The worst for me is the constantly changing perceptions of self and others. This trait has ruined pretty much every relationship I've tried to hold down and does a hell of a number on your self-esteem. For a long time I thought I was crazy, as I could look in the mirror one day and believe myself to be a beauty, and then 2 days later be filled with loathing and disgust at my weight or appearance. One day loving the touch of another, the next being filled with absolute horror at even the thought of touching, even in a platonic way. I'm so tired of hurting those I love. This really is one of the most devastating psychiatric disorders to deal with. Props to all of you who keep going. With the state of our economy, seeing a mental health professional may be outside your financial ability (like me), but do not lose hope. Realizing you have demons to deal with is the first step. You are strong. You are loved in a way you cannot even imagine, a way that is beyond our feeble language to describe. Have faith, friends.
"I wish none of this had happened." "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. ... There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides that of evil".
These symptoms sound like CPTSD and exhibiting 4F's in hybrid, unique to each individual.
serendipityTK What are 4F’s? I know what C-PTSD is, but I am confused about the other things.
This was so interesting. When I was diagnosed as having BPD, I didn't see it at all. My sister is a textbook case of the disorder and we're nothing alike. Now I see why! She's very anger-out, whereas I'm anger-in, as you say. Thank you!