I turned FRANCE into the MOST POWERFUL EMPIRE in Crusader Kings 3

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  • Опубликовано: 15 дек 2024

Комментарии • 230

  • @Koifish
    @Koifish  Год назад +207

    *King Charles the BADDY*
    This video was honestly insane to record! HUGE EMPIRE? REFORMED RELIGION? RETURN OF HAESTEINN?! It has it all!
    More CK3 Coming very soon, including some action BEYOND THE WALL in Game of Thrones!

    • @donpollo3154
      @donpollo3154 Год назад +2

      Charles the daddy 😏

    • @Ykan-dh5hl
      @Ykan-dh5hl Год назад +1

      By the way Koifish, Occitan is pronounced Ok-see-tan (kinda)
      Great video by the way

    • @mattparker9726
      @mattparker9726 Год назад

      Koifish lowkey hates Ohio?

    • @jacethegreat17
      @jacethegreat17 Год назад

      I appreciate you representing the most oppressed nation on earth 😂

    • @therealmrkrabs6413
      @therealmrkrabs6413 Год назад

      Sorry, will have to dislike this for continuing the existence of Fr*nce

  • @ohuckabee
    @ohuckabee Год назад +782

    "Less talking, and more Frenching." With lines like that, it's no wonder Mrs. Koifish fell for you!

    • @eagleowl833
      @eagleowl833 Год назад +10

      Bro, that's savage. Don't kick a koifish while he's floating belly up💀🐠

  • @maxjohn6012
    @maxjohn6012 Год назад +362

    Koifish: Blackmails his doctor
    Doctor: Cuts off Koifish's leg
    Koifish: "Why would you do that???!"

  • @DUAXNinja
    @DUAXNinja Год назад +240

    The greatest tragedy of this video is that Brittany survived all the way till the end. A true French ruler would never stand for such a blunder.

    • @JamesL42
      @JamesL42 Год назад +32

      Tbf the French did leave Brittany alone for almost 1000 years before they annexed them. And only then it was technically by inherentence.

    • @thalmoragent9344
      @thalmoragent9344 Год назад

      ​@JamesL42
      Really? What's the history between them? I'm actually curious now, I'm gonna search it up now 😅

    • @Joel-lx2lw
      @Joel-lx2lw Год назад

      ​@@thalmoragent9344History Matters has a great Video about the subject.

    • @noblenaveragemanointernet2582
      @noblenaveragemanointernet2582 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@thalmoragent9344 Long story short, fierce resistance, then the long game for the heir being a woman, and a marriage that unites both realm.

    • @leahryan5560
      @leahryan5560 6 месяцев назад

      @@thalmoragent9344So Anne inherited the duchy in 1488 at age 11 upon the death of her father. She was married to two kings of France: Charles VIII and Louis XII. She had no surviving children by her first husband so when he died, his cousin ascended the throne and Anne married him (her first marriage contract stipulated that she marry the next king of Charles VIII died without an heir).
      She and Louis had two surviving daughters: Claude and Renee. Anne wanted to keep Brittany free from France, so she betrothed Claude to the future Charles V. But later, when Louis became ill, he cancelled that engagement and betrothed Claude to his cousin and heir, the future Francis II. Anne wasn’t happy about this. She died in 1514 at age 36. Her will dictated that her younger daughter Renee get Brittany but Louis ignored this and Claude became Duchess of Brittany.
      Louis died in 1515 and Francis and Claude became King and Queen of France. Claude was not as active in policy making in Brittany as her mother had been and left a lot of those decisions to her husband. Claude died in 1524 and her eldest son Francis became Duke of Brittany (he did not live to become King of France). The title was later incorporated into the crown and the land became part of France.

  • @obscurekidney501
    @obscurekidney501 Год назад +241

    it's funny how the first Norman in this playthrough is tiny when "Rollo The Walker" the actual first Norman
    was called the walker due to being too big to get on his horse, having to walk

    • @thalmoragent9344
      @thalmoragent9344 Год назад +2

      Wait, too big for his horse? Like fat, or just "big" and heavy?

    • @obscurekidney501
      @obscurekidney501 Год назад +3

      @@thalmoragent9344 I think he was just big and heavy idk about fat

    • @Xo-3130
      @Xo-3130 10 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@thalmoragent9344Powerlifter build so fat on top of muscle.

    • @Folcock
      @Folcock 10 месяцев назад +1

      ​​@@thalmoragent9344their "horses" were basically ponies he was just too tall see the statues of him in France and scriptures

    • @-._A2._-
      @-._A2._- 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@Xo-3130I hate that people compare a soldier to a powerlifter. He would look more like a strong man in the military than strong powerlifter. Both are strong but have different characteristics based on what their strength is for.

  • @bernard832
    @bernard832 Год назад +90

    The French Pope you were thinking of was the Avignon Papacy. Clement V, a Frenchman, was elected pope in 1309 and moved the papal residence to Avignon, which was then part of Burgundy under the HRE. Rome lost a lot of income and went into decline and unrest. Pressure from Italian political factions led to the election of Urban VI in 1378, but he alienated the cardinals by forbidding them from taking indulgences and the king of France by staying in Rome instead of Avignon. The French cardinals elected Clement VII as pope in Avignon, and there were two competing popes until the Western Schism was mended in 1417.

  • @frxstylgl
    @frxstylgl 10 месяцев назад +6

    Saddest lines before knowing about the tragedy:
    "Why did i get Normandy?"

  • @Rockstar-bq5fm
    @Rockstar-bq5fm Год назад +54

    Haha you actually gave Normandy to that little Viking Dwarf. We’re on the right timeline lol

  • @MegaEarAche
    @MegaEarAche Год назад +52

    I love it. Even when he isn't doing a Haesting run. They still make it into the video.

  • @Kasaaz
    @Kasaaz Год назад +97

    Sometimes I don’t know if Koifish is making a joke by saying things weird on purpose or if it’s just the way his brain works. I’m entertained regardless, like when he called the dwarf his King of the Hand.

  • @bowserhunter1
    @bowserhunter1 Год назад +24

    "There is one man to further unite all of Europe" ngl I thought the followup to that was going to be "Jarl Haesteinn"

  • @crazyhercules9442
    @crazyhercules9442 Год назад +36

    I was not expecting the son of Haestein to return, honestly. Boy what a surprise😂

  • @2dogsandaDJ
    @2dogsandaDJ Год назад +6

    8:04 "Im being called to war, I'll accept but Im not gonna help"
    Suuuuuch a fuckin mood in this game

  • @walnzell9328
    @walnzell9328 Год назад +13

    15:45 Koifish doing a historically accurate move here.

  • @herrnachbar81
    @herrnachbar81 Год назад +18

    if i remember correctly, charles' name "the bald" meant something like "the landless", because after the parlament in worms, he didn't get as much land as his brothers after francia was divided between them

  • @Freedmoon44
    @Freedmoon44 Год назад +13

    There wasnt a time where France claimed the Papacy in itself (nor West Francia but heh thats just France but older) BUT there was a time in the middle ages where the French kidnapped the pope from Rome to send him to Avignon making him closer to France than Italy, at first he was the Legitimate Pope, but the thing is, the French didnt stay in Rome so shortly after leaving another pope appeared and it ended up in a sorta French sponsored pope vs normal Catholic pope war of influence won by Normal catholic pope at one point.
    It was a really fun time lol

  • @victorhino26
    @victorhino26 Год назад +6

    Brittany just chugging along in the corner unscathed by Koifish's predation amaze me more than Ragnarr's return or the spawning of a dwarfen viking named Halfdan,granted the former brings out a chuckle out of me ngl

  • @jamiekamihachi3135
    @jamiekamihachi3135 8 месяцев назад +1

    A fruit basket would probably be a pretty impressive gift in the 9th century. Imagine getting a banana imported from god knows where.

  • @andreanecchi5930
    @andreanecchi5930 Год назад +24

    thanks for the video, it's always fun to hear you say the words of other languages in your own way😂 , If there is some empire that you don't normally see on the map, could you make a video trying to form one? , I mean one of the kind of that kingdom that you can form in India with the Jewish religion. , 27:24 is the count of the city where I live

  • @sheogorath6804
    @sheogorath6804 Год назад +9

    If you didn't know he was named Charles The Bald due to being extremely hairy. Classical French Humour.

    • @WilliamFarge
      @WilliamFarge Год назад

      Above all, it was because he had no kingdom before one of his brothers died without proper heir.

    • @caniblmolstr4503
      @caniblmolstr4503 Год назад

      Naah.. It was because he was the only brother without a crown when the kingdoms were split by Louis

  • @Larbek24
    @Larbek24 Год назад +8

    So I know two theories why Charles was called the bald. The first is the one you explained in the video as with bald as crown- or landless. The other one is that he was called the bald because of his healthy and full hair and the nickname was just ironic.

  • @thebackup291
    @thebackup291 Год назад +1

    I honestly am lost for words on this on I am highly entertained and never got bored during his video haven’t felt like this in a while keep up the good work man!

  • @m00zesss
    @m00zesss Год назад +19

    Your renown didn't change after handing out the kingdom titles because they are not independent rulers. Apart from that great content as usual :)

    • @markfreenick
      @markfreenick Год назад +1

      They kqy have renown from court lvl even if they are youre vassals.

  • @andresmadrid9260
    @andresmadrid9260 Год назад +9

    Love your videos, i think it would been way harder if you pick up the last Karling in 1066 and try to restore the Empire, since you only start with one county.

    • @CatchTheMarmosets
      @CatchTheMarmosets Год назад

      That’d take forever coz hed have no claims

    • @factualdegree5450
      @factualdegree5450 Год назад +1

      @@CatchTheMarmosets there are many ways you can conquer without claims, or other ways to obtain claims.

    • @CatchTheMarmosets
      @CatchTheMarmosets Год назад

      @@factualdegree5450 yeah, but itd take forever to do that if you dont have claims. I have played this game before lol

    • @walterusalbus
      @walterusalbus Год назад +1

      @@factualdegree5450 i did it by using the learning tree to get claims and also having my bishop make claims.

    • @factualdegree5450
      @factualdegree5450 Год назад +1

      @@CatchTheMarmosets I haven’t really tried, but if I did, I would try and stock up on men at arms and change my faith to commit war crimes lol

  • @factualdegree5450
    @factualdegree5450 Год назад +9

    When you said “French culture” I thought you said French creatures lol

  • @sizanogreen9900
    @sizanogreen9900 Год назад +9

    How the heck did Brittany survive this...

  • @jkepic9068
    @jkepic9068 Год назад

    6:50 YAY WARBAND MUSIC THE NOSTALGIA

  • @LordMrPhantom
    @LordMrPhantom Год назад +1

    Tells a stammerer not to dwell on it too much. Koifish, that was an unintentional jab lol

  • @Jobama95
    @Jobama95 Год назад

    Your battle for rehab drove me to hit the like button. To help you help yourself would mean the world to me. Hoping to not see you relapse.
    Sincerely, a Hastein addict.

  • @ohNojames
    @ohNojames Год назад +2

    Strong alliance...1100 fighting men in his army. Such an optimist Koifish.
    Why were you losing 10 gold a month at the end?

  • @jdmacdad5418
    @jdmacdad5418 Год назад

    I know this video is old, but I appreciate the Tropico 2 music in the beginning!

  • @ObliviAce
    @ObliviAce Год назад

    SINCE WHEN DID KOIFISH HAVE A BABY 😭
    I STARTED WATCHING THIS DUDE SINCE I WAS 13 BRO SO MUCH TIME HAS PASSED

  • @Wooper160atThePond
    @Wooper160atThePond Год назад +1

    there's something very entertaining about a Swedish man joking about "dropping Politics at the Thanksgiving party" Have you ever even been to a Thanksgiving dinner in the US?

  • @Takayama-sama
    @Takayama-sama Год назад

    Thank you for answering my question about schmunking Koifish!

  • @sera1934
    @sera1934 Год назад

    Ragnarr coming back was insane. Whey keep following you))))))

  • @SuperAzoz99
    @SuperAzoz99 Год назад

    Literally the best CK campaign I ever seen

  • @sounakchatterjer4158
    @sounakchatterjer4158 Год назад +1

    You can try to run from the Vikings but the vikings will always come for you with the Hasteinings

  • @Apollo1989V
    @Apollo1989V Год назад +1

    I would like to see a video of 1066 France restoring the Carolingian borders.

  • @jito7377
    @jito7377 Год назад

    Yes, Coifchild. Keep droping those wisedoms!

  • @KingAusarII
    @KingAusarII Год назад

    19:53 That only happens if theyre independent rulers. Since theyre kings under your empire that makes them vassals, unlike italy before you invaded it

  • @a7i_.
    @a7i_. Год назад

    "Thank you wife, your knowledge is impressive" 😂😂

  • @battleonize
    @battleonize Год назад

    great video koifish!!!

  • @JaeSM97
    @JaeSM97 Год назад +3

    HOLY SHIT THE PLOT TWIST AT THE END!
    I'm actually laughing my ass off. This is literally too funny.
    I think in one Koifish's future playthroughs, he needs to pin Haesteinn and just sort of, observe what happens every few years.

  • @Iceican
    @Iceican Год назад +1

    I played an englishman in africa took me a bit to realize i just made an english colony

  • @therealmrkrabs6413
    @therealmrkrabs6413 Год назад +1

    3:45 As an Ohioan, this is inaccurate. We do not stab each other, we shoot each other.

  • @eliomarmion5485
    @eliomarmion5485 Год назад +1

    La Guerre (the war)

  • @fifagod4804
    @fifagod4804 Год назад +1

    Love the videos ❤

  • @dragonking4756
    @dragonking4756 8 месяцев назад

    23:05 my home town got mentioned rahhhr🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

  • @m1sz3lpl24
    @m1sz3lpl24 Год назад

    CK3 Koifish video without Haestein? Hell yeah!

  • @bakaky0
    @bakaky0 Год назад

    "letter C in the A to C challenge". It's finally over

  • @joespears360
    @joespears360 Год назад +1

    Being someone who lives in rural Ohio, it is quite possible for a liberal relative and a conservative relative to eventually stab the other when discussing politics, especially if alcohol is involved

  • @Asenpopov
    @Asenpopov Год назад

    I've stammered ever since i could talk. Lold at the stammer joke. That's exactly how i got bullied at school 😆

  • @mrdark619
    @mrdark619 Год назад +1

    To be honest I kind of expected you to play haestein and take over all of europe with him instead :P

  • @alexnunn2161
    @alexnunn2161 Год назад

    From what little i know, the nickname ‘The Bald’ is meant to be ironic since Charles was supposedly super fucking hairy

  • @TheColombianSpartan
    @TheColombianSpartan Год назад

    Koifish you know very well rehab won't cure your Haesteinn addiction
    Nothing will
    and thats because its a glorious thing

  • @LordAgamiS
    @LordAgamiS Год назад +1

    Please oh great koifish. Restore the ancient kingdom of celtica and unificate all the pictish people (same as the slawes).
    I beg of You, mighty Warrior of ck3, return the paganish celtic to all europe before evil romans destroyed it.

  • @holdencrowley3890
    @holdencrowley3890 Год назад +1

    You should of named him noplian and made him short

  • @YoshiaLubbe
    @YoshiaLubbe 3 месяца назад

    Hey Koifish, here is a suggestion: why don't you next time make the Pope your vassal?

  • @crusadingpie_8704
    @crusadingpie_8704 Год назад

    Beat up the Papacy and make a French Pope? Someone Cross off the Anti-Pope on the bingo card, Koifish is slowly hitting all the historical beats in his own way and time

  • @DaimyoShi
    @DaimyoShi Год назад

    Koifish, you are a Emperor, there are no good guy emperors.

  • @Logan0503
    @Logan0503 Год назад

    Cool, now I know what schmonked means! This is like when I finally figured out what chuffed means…

  • @connorbarton4308
    @connorbarton4308 Год назад

    With head of faith title you can make it always approve and divorce anyway

  • @RKGrizz
    @RKGrizz Год назад +1

    Koifish, the French get access to the Gendarmes heavy cavalry so the Armored Horseman is not the strongest Men-at-Arms unit for the French.

  • @luckyone7778
    @luckyone7778 Год назад

    Koifish yet again beaten whole world of CK3

  • @pjoterem141
    @pjoterem141 Год назад

    the Warband music hit hard

    • @factualdegree5450
      @factualdegree5450 Год назад

      I love when he uses Warband music, brings me back to my all nighters of conquering the world

  • @aaronzapol5253
    @aaronzapol5253 Год назад

    Koif-fish, the greatest medieval swede ever.

  • @PraiseJ-Pope
    @PraiseJ-Pope Год назад

    Seems like Mrs. Koifish has really high Learning

    • @rapecel
      @rapecel Год назад +1

      koifish is playing tall rn

  • @corentinboxho
    @corentinboxho Год назад +3

    1:09 If you really want to succeed at pretending to speak French, don't just say "the Bald" with a French accent, but actually translate it into "le Chauve"! 😜

  • @Sylus_Domanni
    @Sylus_Domanni Год назад +1

    Haestinn death time stamp 9:34.

  • @Jayn0x
    @Jayn0x Год назад

    Napoleon is proud of ya

  • @johnbgoode1605
    @johnbgoode1605 Год назад

    12:20 Koi Child!

  • @connorbarton4308
    @connorbarton4308 Год назад +1

    The papacy has a lot of imagery depicting Satan and lucifer and they actively worship the antichrist you did the right thing koifish 25:48

  • @angrypastabrewing
    @angrypastabrewing 7 месяцев назад

    King Charles now looks like Walter White

  • @jkepic9068
    @jkepic9068 Год назад

    baby koifish sounds so cute lol

  • @mandinhapicles
    @mandinhapicles Год назад

    The first thing I do when playing as King Charles The Bald is shaving is hair.

  • @Т1000-м1и
    @Т1000-м1и Год назад +1

    I read the thumbnail as blind a f

  • @matthewdamal2687
    @matthewdamal2687 Год назад

    Nicely done

  • @orirotem2298
    @orirotem2298 Год назад

    First time you call your favorite guy shmunk

  • @ShadowDragon1848
    @ShadowDragon1848 Год назад

    I did stammer and do it even know, when I´m very excited. Sooo yeah I feel a bit oooooooffffffended :D ^^

  • @pyurjenius6676
    @pyurjenius6676 Год назад

    "Bite his ankles!"

  • @Shansitan
    @Shansitan Год назад

    I recently did a play thru where I started in Ireland took all of Britannia founded my own religion that was similar and by the end date had most of the world under my empire and of my religion it is definitely broken to just constantly get free money

  • @OompaL0ompa
    @OompaL0ompa Год назад

    I was stammering as a child because my evil father threw me on a chair when i was small so hard that the chair broke.
    Got rid of it during my childhood.
    I am not offended buddy, because stammering is never your fault, it's the parents fault.

  • @thefabviking
    @thefabviking Год назад

    Haven't watched the video yet, but I wonder if he's gonna evict hæsteinn as a neighbour lol.

  • @Thanadeez
    @Thanadeez Год назад

    11:31 this was in fact, not dutch at all

  • @MasterCriminal0
    @MasterCriminal0 Год назад +2

    the frankish were germanic people! not french! yes it true, the mix of gaul, latin and frankish created the "french" culture but I can assure you that the disqusting french language that you hear today didnt exist yet. it was more like the nobility spoke frankish, and the people spoke some kind if mix of latin.

  • @justinmalangoni
    @justinmalangoni Год назад

    keep these going... would like to see Robert the Fox

  • @kvshuzumaki382
    @kvshuzumaki382 Год назад

    It only helps your renown if they’re independent

  • @shadowofhawk55
    @shadowofhawk55 Год назад

    This timeline is basically just European Muhammed and I love it

  • @MaitreKorda
    @MaitreKorda Год назад

    How did you make the scene at the start?

  • @Shansitan
    @Shansitan Год назад

    I thought the only letter in ck3 was H for.... you guessed it haestien

  • @arno_grnfld455
    @arno_grnfld455 11 месяцев назад

    Lmao haesteinn just wouldn't go away it seems

  • @Swedishmafia101MemeCorporation

    I'm sorry Koifish. But you need to flush the French out of you before the infection takes hold.

  • @demonkingbadger6689
    @demonkingbadger6689 Год назад

    Rehab doesnt solve Haesteinn addiction .

  • @selen18126
    @selen18126 5 месяцев назад

    the...knight Templars were french mainly though XD

  • @bravebenson9262
    @bravebenson9262 Год назад

    I havent played the base game since the Elder Kings mod. Now with the AGOT who wants to play France when you have Targaryans?

  • @Songante
    @Songante Год назад

    Could you share what music you put in your videos?

  • @sahilhossian8212
    @sahilhossian8212 Год назад

    Lore of I turned FRANCE into the MOST POWERFUL EMPIRE in Crusader Kings 3 momentum 100

  • @deusvult8435
    @deusvult8435 3 месяца назад

    12:29 ikr!

  • @fuzzer4729
    @fuzzer4729 Год назад +2

    Wait why is your google in Turkish ?!

    • @t1ger1
      @t1ger1 Год назад

      i saw that too

  • @ProbablyNot18
    @ProbablyNot18 Год назад

    this was great