@@Truemmerphantom They need to get with the times, it's not like the old days when food production was local instead of global. They're all going to starve by the end of the month!
Ikr, I build a fleet to try and protect myself from a bunch of equally-strong neighbors who all don’t want me to exist and my energy credits plummet no matter how many generators, orbital solar panel stations or grids I spam
"Ha we have them outnumbered 10 to 1!" "Sir we have the enemy fleet on scanners...but...where are they?!" "I can't see anything right in front of us!" "My god....I think we need to...look, up?" *Everyone turns to face the captain with worry on their faces*
*insert 2 paragraph long anomaly explanation saying how figuring out how to toast both sides of a slice of bread at once was the natural first step in an extinct species’ decline*
My personal explanation for the scientist redeployment is that they're actually just sitting in the state capital remotely controlling the ships When a ship is destroyed, they just get fired for not properly commanding it
Look at the galaxy map closely, you might see that stars aren’t on the galactic plane, and there is no up in space because of scientific reasons such as a lack of gravity.
This is absolute madness! Whats next? Some kind of device that allows the user to create wormholes in a certain radius around itself for instant travel? There's a reason we can't just fly in any direction; its space, things only work in direct lines! Duh!
The Spiritualist Fallen Empires know when an eldritch abomination taints another empire. Join them to bring an End to the Cycle of the Voor Technocracy's making!
Don't try to scare us with your Spiritualist ways. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion of yours hasn't helped us in obtaining Unbidden technology. Or given us clairvoyance enough to reveal the location of a new L-Gate
If they don’t want anyone to have dangerous technology, then wake them up so they can destroy the empires with the technology and watch as they can’t hit ships above them.
The Stellaris does actually go up and down, you can see it in the lines traced from each star to the hexagon above or below them which indicate how high or low they are relative to the galactic plane.
To be fair, they did offer an in-movie justification: that the storms on Exegol were very strong so it was very difficult to navigate huge ships through the atmosphere. Remember the whole thing with the control tower and the cavalry charge? I suppose the final order didn’t account for the possibility that they would have to fight ON Exegol But their real problem was building spaceships inside a planet’s atmosphere to begin with. Not Sheev’s brightest idea!
Stellaris ships only have guns on the "top". 3 dimensional movements would be a game-changer. Although I'm more interested in the ability to parallel park.
This is the last technology you have to research. Every research apartment needs to have their stuff and research this together, since this is too complicated.
"news from the frontlines: the spiritualists coalition is being stunningly defeated by Voor corvettes simply flying below their mastodontic battleships"
@Xenonion news Can you do news about stellaris invicta of the templin institute i love their stellaris series and about to have an upcoming invicta season 2
Amazing, what will they think of next - war ships that need to decelerate flying with the engines first against the enemy that vaporize the enemy fleet with the exhaust before a single shot had been fired? Er no space gods forgive me for ever suggesting adding actual physics to any space game. :P
May the ommissiah forbid it!! Hersey indeed! What's next, support buildings for rare resource production? Useful additions to star-base subsections? A FUNCTIONAL WARFARE MECHANIC?!?!?
3 spacial dimensions? When did the media start peddling pseudoscience? What's next? Stars are real? Necroids have rights? I'm not the most attractive being in the galaxy? This network might as well be a series of Ted Talks at this point. Commenter's note: while the comment above was a joke, I do actually feel that many Ted Talks are full of crap....Ok bye.
"Area Empire Declares Bankruptcy after undocking fleet from Spaceport."
Been there, done that. XD
"Inwards Perfectionists announce plan to permanently shield own planet."
That's a 200 IQ move if you ask me. ^_^
@@Truemmerphantom They need to get with the times, it's not like the old days when food production was local instead of global. They're all going to starve by the end of the month!
Gabriel Clark Relax, they’re an Agri world.
The rest of their empire though...
Ikr, I build a fleet to try and protect myself from a bunch of equally-strong neighbors who all don’t want me to exist and my energy credits plummet no matter how many generators, orbital solar panel stations or grids I spam
Way too often for me
"Ha we have them outnumbered 10 to 1!"
"Sir we have the enemy fleet on scanners...but...where are they?!"
"I can't see anything right in front of us!"
"My god....I think we need to...look, up?"
*Everyone turns to face the captain with worry on their faces*
Enemy corvette destroys 10 Crusier all because the couldn't target the enemy.
😂😂
Plot Twist: They had to look... DOWN!
@@Nyrufashhh don't spoil the sequel!
@@Nyrufa oh GOD
This should be classified as a dangerous technology.
Indeed, and should be banned by the Galactic Community indefinetly
Or a DLC.
The new associated crisis should be extradimensional Australians.
This could destroy the galaxy as we know it!
@@ferdinand5223 The only counter to Extradimensional Australians is Extradimensional Synthetic Emus.
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should
Well, there it is
I really hate that Voor...
*insert 2 paragraph long anomaly explanation saying how figuring out how to toast both sides of a slice of bread at once was the natural first step in an extinct species’ decline*
They were busy being redeployed across the galaxy
Finally! Now I can land my colony ships!
Land them like a normal sentient. Crashing it into the surface of the planet
@@cuttlealert3062 That'll teach those rock people that us organics can do things too.
@@nonya1366 They dont deserve the title of "People"
@@cuttlealert3062 I'm not a lithiod I'm a fanatic xenophobe and refuse to do it their way
Lithoids "Land?"
“As fast as scientists being redeployed across the galaxy”
My personal explanation for the scientist redeployment is that they're actually just sitting in the state capital remotely controlling the ships
When a ship is destroyed, they just get fired for not properly commanding it
@@Just_A_Simple_Time_Traveller Nah, they just get executed
Probably depends on your ethics
@@Just_A_Simple_Time_Traveller True enough
Battle ships that carry troops?! How unreasonable and absolutely insane!
Is nothing sacred to the Voor? Just last month one of their engineers tried to put two resource silos on the same station!
i... i heard that they have plans to build 2 colossus! they are angering the gods
Dear god
Ok… I know you can do a lot of stuff in sci-fi, but this just breaks my suspension of disbelief. Its pretty much magic at this point.
These engineers just need engines on the sides, top, front, and bottom instead of breaking the laws of physics.
Scientists want to use black holes as wormholes? Guys, this isn't Spore!
We can use black holes as worm tho
@@brianmo2965 we can use the worm as a black hole, weapon, and god.
That's what The Exile was working on in that secret lab...
We shouldn’t be playing god like this, we should just stick to enlightening sapient creatures and terraforming the worlds we find to perfectly fit us.
There is no up! The galaxy is flat, our holy books say so!
The Science Directorate does not like that
If there is no up, why do you have the concept of 'up' at all? Checkmate.
Nobody expects the Inquisition! Xenophiles have a concept of an alien that shouldn’t be exterminated, it doesn’t mean it exists
The universe is flat. Not the galaxy.
Look at the galaxy map closely, you might see that stars aren’t on the galactic plane, and there is no up in space because of scientific reasons such as a lack of gravity.
I can't wait for this new engine design to become widely available. I always struggle to get into tight parking spaces with my cruiser.
This is absolute madness! Whats next? Some kind of device that allows the user to create wormholes in a certain radius around itself for instant travel?
There's a reason we can't just fly in any direction; its space, things only work in direct lines! Duh!
well for leaders wich can deploy themselves in a ship 50000 light years away in mere nanoseconds its very possible
The Spiritualist Fallen Empires know when an eldritch abomination taints another empire. Join them to bring an End to the Cycle of the Voor Technocracy's making!
Hey, don't bring the Cycle into this. We didn't do anything this time.
Don't try to scare us with your Spiritualist ways. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion of yours hasn't helped us in obtaining Unbidden technology. Or given us clairvoyance enough to reveal the location of a new L-Gate
If they don’t want anyone to have dangerous technology, then wake them up so they can destroy the empires with the technology and watch as they can’t hit ships above them.
Enemy Empire when they see my ships flying above them: *Impossible*
Me: *It's over, Anakeen, we have the high ground!*
“just go up”
Engineers, fallen empires, everyone: “And I took that personally.”
The Stellaris does actually go up and down, you can see it in the lines traced from each star to the hexagon above or below them which indicate how high or low they are relative to the galactic plane.
That’s only in FTL though, using the Z axis elsewhere is demonstrably impure.
this is herresy
Agreed, how can we allow our brave navy to fly in more than 2 dimensions. There are things out there that will come for us now....
You are WEAK
@@ferrusmanus4013 HERETEK
@@the-letter_s You are WEAK
Man, the Final Order would have loved to have this tech!
To be fair, they did offer an in-movie justification: that the storms on Exegol were very strong so it was very difficult to navigate huge ships through the atmosphere. Remember the whole thing with the control tower and the cavalry charge? I suppose the final order didn’t account for the possibility that they would have to fight ON Exegol
But their real problem was building spaceships inside a planet’s atmosphere to begin with. Not Sheev’s brightest idea!
@@52flyingbicycles or the entire sequal trilligy plot...not his best idea.
@@52flyingbicyclesEven with modern radar we could maneuver through that storm. The Calvary charge was the dumbest thing in cinema lol.
Great, tell Sheev about this, I think he needs it!
Or Anakin. He needs some high ground tbh
Stellaris ships only have guns on the "top". 3 dimensional movements would be a game-changer. Although I'm more interested in the ability to parallel park.
Yeah, space is getting crowded all of a sudden. And we haven't even gotten to the chemist's yet!
THE FOURTH WALL CANNAE HOLD ANYMORE!
PC: internally and externally burning
This is the last technology you have to research. Every research apartment needs to have their stuff and research this together, since this is too complicated.
As a materialist, I welcome this technology with open arms and hope we use it to crush those fallen empires!
We at the third dimension institute are prepared to give our full support.
The Final Order could've really used this technology to deal with those Resistance Raiders.
Voor Technocracy. Not to be confused with Vore Kleptocracy.
This is the kind of forbidden knowledge that drives people mad
Shots fired
Seriously, these guys are just gonna ignore the fact that two corvettes from a federation fleet are filling a star system with alloys rn?
I love the way he uncertainly said 'z-axis'.
moving in extra-dimentions i can believe- but parrallel parking? Now you're just making stuff up.
So basically Homeworld
Parallel parking might need some work
Now we've got a one up on Disney's star destroyers! We're unstoppable now!!!
Wait it's xen-o-ni-on? I thought it was xen-onion, like The Onion
It was always so annoying to move your ship around the planet just to point it into the right direction.
I once lost half of a naval fleet because their reinforcements got stuck on a space station.
WHAT!? The Scyobi needs this...
Take it easy, guys! We don't want to end like some Vultaum, right?
So time is our Z-axis proving that we are in a sandbox game.
yeah i think that we all should learn the power of the leaders who can be deployed in less then a milisecond in any corner of the galaxy
I love how they reference the instantaneous scientist redeployment.
unironically impressive
the funny thing is scientists in real life is also like the skeptics of the z axis
It's true.
We need a Xenonion News Mod!! Please!!
"Z-axis minus 10,000 meters, standby photon torpedoes."
My god this is a disaster. How am I supposed to purge the Xenos now!!??!!!
Point your ship up. Or add turrets that shoot up, silly boomer xeno.
“We now go to the project lead at the Voor technocracy”
“Jesus Christ for the 65th time THERE IS NO UP IN SPACE!”
Would be like the (sea) navy having ships that could move side to side without having to turn...
Brilliant! Finest internal humour.
I absolutely love these news reports. Please keep reporting
This channel is severely underrated
The technology: RCS thrusters
Wow if only the emperor had this tech in the rise of skywalker
Finally, they realised Stellaris is 3D!
The Governors are pretty fast, too, as well as the envoys. Though I guess the scientists are much more tangible 😂
Welp
*We now need a sequel to Flatland*
"news from the frontlines: the spiritualists coalition is being stunningly defeated by Voor corvettes simply flying below their mastodontic battleships"
@Xenonion news
Can you do news about stellaris invicta of the templin institute i love their stellaris series and about to have an upcoming invicta season 2
I thought they were adding up and down flight to stellaris...
Loved the scientist comment.
1:15 Yeah Paradox totally arent too lazy or just waiting to sell it as DLC.
Technophobia is the mark of ignorance
* laughs in robot uprising *
harbl99 robot uprising or any uprising are easy to deal with. That’s if you put a good amount of troops on every planet.
A closed mind is a safe mind
Serpy the Serpent true sometimes but a open mind is a wise mind.
@@marsar1775 Safe or scared?
What next are they going to try to leave the galaxy?! Just crazy.
This channel is my replacement for the Onion.
I feel like this is a callout on rise of skywalker...
good
"Bordergore"? I've learned a new term!
Nav can't tell which way is up out there huh
Amazing, what will they think of next - war ships that need to decelerate flying with the engines first against the enemy that vaporize the enemy fleet with the exhaust before a single shot had been fired? Er no space gods forgive me for ever suggesting adding actual physics to any space game. :P
Impossible. Everyone knows space is 2D!
*Tonight on "How Its Made"*
May the ommissiah forbid it!! Hersey indeed! What's next, support buildings for rare resource production? Useful additions to star-base subsections? A FUNCTIONAL WARFARE MECHANIC?!?!?
Im not the one whos gonna break the news to those shipbuilding industries
Nope. Until I see it above my homeworld with my own eyes, the z-axis is just a fairy tale.
ILL TAKE YOUR ENTIRE STOCK
If they keep doing their thing, we're gonna see them terraform the Galactic Core so anyone can live there regardless of biology.
The one dislike is an engineer who hates z axis
Hey News Network, not to complain or anything, but can we see some xeno sports?
Of course it's the Voor. Always playing with fire. Why can't the leave well enough alone?
i dont think stellaris knows how space works.
It's intelligent, but not experienced. It's pattern indicates two-dimensional thinking.
Next you'll tell me these ships can shoot at an angle
I wonder which faction will try to ban this technology in the Galactic Community next. 🙄
1:40 Darwin Award
Just wait until some joker discovers how to fly upside down.
Simulation inside of a simulation.
Lithoids "Land?"
FFS! as if there wasn't already too many critical engineering techs to worry about.
Fresh Meat
who down voted?
impossible!
3 spacial dimensions? When did the media start peddling pseudoscience? What's next? Stars are real? Necroids have rights? I'm not the most attractive being in the galaxy? This network might as well be a series of Ted Talks at this point.
Commenter's note: while the comment above was a joke, I do actually feel that many Ted Talks are full of crap....Ok bye.
Has anyone else not played stelaris but still thinks these are funny
Flat galaxiers
Lies! Lies and space wizards!
Lol
Fake news.